Hercules (1998–1999): Season 1, Episode 10 - Hercules and the Prince of Thrace - full transcript

♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Is he bold? ♪

♪ No one braver ♪

♪ Is he sweet? ♪

♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪

- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪

- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪



- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪

♪ Now the boy's in school ♪

♪ He's in trainin' ♪

♪ Sun is shinin' ♪

♪ And the nicest guy ♪

♪ No complainin' ♪

♪ He was a no one ♪

♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪

♪ He's our hero ♪

♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪

♪ From zero to hero ♪

♪ Herc is a hero ♪



♪ He'll be a hero ♪

Wait and see!

And now the final touch.

Voila!

- Ehh?
- Hmm.

- Mm-mm.
- No?

Aah!

Please! I am an artiste!

No! No! Don't take me away!

Let me try again, please!

Can't you dig any
faster? I'm hot!

Mumsy said I can have
a pool, and I want it today!

Yes, your highness.

We're digging as fast
as humanly possible.

It's not fast enough.

Prince Adonis... We
have found something.

- It's a warning!
- An omen!

We dare not continue!

You people will do
anything to get a break.

Oh, how I despise laziness.

It's an ancient warning of doom!

If we do not heed it,

a curse will fall
upon our heads.

Did my father not give you

a generous heath
care plan last year?

I'm sure most major
curses are covered.

Now, dig!

Choppety-chop!

Oh.

Aah! My good pottery!

Who dares disturb
the Slumber of Gaia?

That digger man right
there. The one with the pick.

The soon to be cursed
chap wearing that thing.

You arrogant little mortal!

I see through your flimsy lies!

Would sturdier lies help?

I could shore them up
with some half-truths.

Uh, par example, I... Silence!

For disturbing my
slumber, I curse you!

Aaarrgh!

Wait!

Cursed?

I can't be cursed.

I'm a prince!

♪ Mighty Midas had
the golden touch ♪

♪ But he couldn't
always use it ♪

♪ It appears his ears
were made of tin ♪

♪ When forced
to face the music ♪

♪ He had to choose
the best of the blues ♪

♪ The palace was
too honky tonky ♪

♪ And the aftermath
of Apollo's wrath ♪

♪ Gave Midas the
ears of a donkey ♪

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Time out, ladies.

Baby, we bustin' a move!

And, bob, you're
steppin' on our groove.

You didn't get the
rewrite, did you?

Hmm. The last thing
we got was this one

about King Midas
got donkey ears.

Oh, we threw that myth out.

It wasn't really a big deal.

Honey, you tell that to Midas.

Well, what's this one about?

This one is about
Gaia, AKA Mother Earth,

and how she placed a
curse on Adonis' head.

Can you whip something together?

You know we can.

Step back, Bobby baby.

♪ Adonis tried
to beat the heat ♪

♪ Disturbed Gaia's
beauty sleep ♪

♪ She slapped him
with a nasty curse ♪

♪ Honey, you shouldn't
mess With Mother Earth ♪

♪ He's in a pinch
without a plan ♪

♪ He needs a
hero's helping hand ♪

Now, let me get this straight.

You need me?

Yes, yes. Gloat away,

but my problem is serious.

I've been... cursed!

Cursed?

- Cursed? Cursed?

Shh! You want to make
me an instant social outcast?

All right, calm down, Adonis.

I... I'm sure Cassandra could help.
She's good with this kind of thing.

To break a curse?
I have no clue.

Oh, this is hopeless!

I'm setting sail on
the River Styx cruise!

Do you suppose
they have a first-class?

Oh, buck up, Adonis.

My sweet Cassandra has
lived with a curse her whole life.

Cursed to foresee
doom and disaster.

It's been a blast.

Ha ha! See?

Isn't she an inspiration?

Hmm... so this curse
may not be fatal,

like I'm cursed with smashing
looks or cursed to marry for money.

- I see Adonis laying down to die.
- Aah!

Well, that answers that.

Tell me more.

Can I avoid this fate?

I'm just an amateur.

You want a reliable forecast,
go to the oracle at Delphi.

Delphi?

Oh, my! That's very far away.

A difficult journey to make...

all by myself.

Well, I got a geometry
test to study for.

See ya.

Delphi's three-day
walk at the very least,

though only a few
hours as the bird flies...

or a winged horse.

Hmm... Winged horse.

You know, Mr. Euclid... tough.

Whew!

Need to seriously cram today.

If only there were
some faster way

instead of trekking alone
across barren terrain

fraught with monsters
and two-star restaurants.

Oh, my!

Ohh!

Would you take
him already, Herc?

Hey, what's wrong with
two-star restaurants?

All right, Adonis.

I'll take you to Delphi.

Heroes are so
easy to manipulate.

I hear this place is busy.

Hope we can get an appointment.

So she says, "Graceful
father of the Romans!"

And I say... Hercules! Adonis!

Hi there.

Welcome to the
Oracle Friends Network.

We've been expecting you.

Oh, they're good.

Almost creepy good.

Your own personal
psychic is waiting for you.

And remember, the
first question is free.

I'm feeling better already.

Aah! I am cursed!

Look at this!

I could be lying in city-state

by the time we
talk to an oracle.

Well, not much we can do.

We'll just have to be patient.

Oh... commoner thinking.

I can't wait in this line.

Of course your credit is
good here, King Midas.

We take the gold card.

Midas... he's the one
with the donkey ears.

We're not telling that story.

Oh, all right.

One side, one side!

Royalty coming through.

Excuse me, sir, but you'll
have to wait your turn.

But you don't understand.

I'm very important
and very cursed.

I-I don't suppose you recognize

my divine right to cut in.

But I'm a prince!

Like I said, be patient.

Like I said, commoner thinking.

Daddy's checkbook should
provide all the leverage I need.

Uh, pardon me. How
much money would it take

to get you to switch
places with me?

Ohh...

"Ten million drachma
payable to Mr. Bloatox."

I assume that's with an "X."

"Signed, Prince Adonis,

heir to the Tracian throne."

Ooohhh!

You see?

There's no problem
money can't solve.

You are cursed to die by sunset.

What?

No!

Isn't there something I can do?

Something?

Give me a loophole,
for Zeus' sake!

Seek out the golden
apples of the Hesperides

and take them to
Gaia before nightfall.

Well, where do we
find these apples?

Sorry. You'll have to
go to the back of the line

if you want to ask
another question.

What? Just tell us now!

Ah ah ah. Back of the line, bub.

"Signed, Prince Adonis,
heir to the Thracian throne."

OK. Uh, golden apples?

Location? Location?

Only the old man Nereus knows.

And we have to
wait in line again

to find out where he is, right?

You're asking a question
about asking a question.

Nice try.

"Signed, prince Adonis,
heir to the Thracian throne."

OK. So... where can
we find this Nereus?

Two blocks past speedy pita,

hang a left, then a hard right.

He's in the Elysian
Sunset Rest Home,

Hermits Wing, Room XXXI.

Thanks! Let's go, Adonis.

Rrrr!

You may have won this round,

but mark my words,

the prince of Thrace
will have his revenge!

Uh... No. I don't
foresee that happening.

Now she gives me a freebie.

Thanks, Adonis! Rest in peace!

Thank you, Adonis. Thank you!

Well, this is it...

The elysian sunset rest home.

Remember the time our class came here
to spread some sunshine at the sunset?

Skipped it. I was
at the beach...

in the sunshine.

You're a real
humanitarian, Adonis.

I donate all my
old chitons to...

- What's that word?
- Charity?

That's the one.

She's taunting me.

She knows she's
going to outlive me.

OK, now, hermits
can be kind of touchy,

So let's be a little less
pushy this time, OK?

Pushy? Me?

Ehh! Porridge again?

Who approaches Nereus?

Um, hi, uh, Mr. Nereus?

My name is Hercules,
and, uh, I was wondering...

Talk, old man! Tell me where
the golden apples are now!

Grrrr!

Why didn't anybody tell
me he was a shape shifter?

Actually, it's here on his
chart. "No salt, shape shifter."

Eh?

Grrraah!

- Be a hero!
- Adonis, let go!

Eee!

Grrraah!

Hey!

Take it easy, kid!

You know I'm an old guy, right?

Oh, gosh. I'm sorry.

Hah hah! Patronize
me? You little twerp!

Hercules, could
you wrap this up?

We're running out of time.

Well, then why
don't you help me?

Me? What should I do?

I don't know.

Hit him with something!

Something to hit with.

There's no way
I'm touching that.

Adonis!

Right! Right!

Aha!

Take that, you vile beast!

Porridge?

Aah!

I really hate that stuff.

OK, you win. What do you want?

Um, Where can we
find the golden apples?

Oh, yeah. You need to go to the
garden at the edge of the world.

The edge of the world?

That's kind of far.

Well, then you'd
better stop lollygaggin'!

OK. Uh, thanks, Mr. Nereus.

Come on, Adonis, let's go.

Lotta good it'll do ya, mortal.

Pardon? I said, "Lotta
good it'll do ya, mortal."

No mere man can
pick the golden apples.

Well, good news there.

I am no mere man. I am a prince.

Well, whoop-dee-doo!

You'll be a dead prince
if you try and pick 'em.

Only a god can do that.

Really?

What about demigods?

Hmm. I don't know.
Never come up.

Adonis come on!

Oh, yes, I'm coming!

Wow. The edge of the world.

We made pretty good time.

That must be the
garden down there.

Who is he?

Atlas... the titan who's cursed
to forever hold up the sky.

I never noticed there were so
many curses until I had one myself.

Say, fellas, uh,
help a titan out?

Sorry.

Just be careful. He
tries to trick people

into holding it for
him all the time.

Trick people?

Listen, buddy,
holding up the sky

is an honor the gods
bestowed upon me.

I'm proud of it.

It's just I've got this itch
between my shoulder blades.

If you could hold
it for a sec or two.

Ha! Nice try.

Wait! No! Guys!

It's been 3,000 years
since my last potty break!

Ohh!

Look! The golden apples.

Absolutely stunning.

Gaia has good taste.

I wonder if she does decorating.

Well, let's get a-pickin'.

I'd love to, but you
know, I'm, well, cursed.

Oh, I think I feel
the curse kicking in.

Ooh!

You're unbelievable.

Grrr!

- Hercules, wait!
- What now?

Um, this is kind of an
interesting question.

As a demigod, which half
of you is more... godish?

The left or the right?

Doesn't work that way. Why?

Oh, just idle curiosity.

Aah!

Hercules?

Uh, chum?

Try your left hand.

Hercules, wake up!

Ohhh!

What smote me?

What smote you?
Well, wait till you hear.

There's a funny thing
nereus mentioned,

and I guess I only
forgot to pass it on.

Only a god can pick
the golden apples.

You forgot?

I-I thought your demigod thing
might be enough to pull it off.

It was a calculated risk.

You calculated, I took the risk!

Come on, Pegasus.
We're going home.

Ohh! It's the curse! Help!

Sorry, Adonis.

I'm not buying.

Wait! As the prince of Thrace,

heir to the throne
of King Cinyras, I...

I... I need you to
save my life, Hercules.

I have no other hope.

All right, heir to the throne.

Who's gonna pick those apples?

Well, there is
someone available.

Atlas? No way!

I'm gonna get stuck
holding up the sky forever!

No, you won't.

I'll make sure
of that. Trust me.

Trust you?

Rrrr!

World's biggest
dope right here, folks.

That's me!

Come and see the
world's biggest dope!

I knew I could count on you.

Just remember to
lift with your legs,

not your back.

Hey, you're a natural!

OK! I got it!

Just hurry back!

Right.

Come on, little mortal.

Um, that's actually
"little mortal prince."

You think I care?

No. Nobody else seems
to. Why should you?

So, what do you need these for?

I angered Gaia,
and she cursed me.

Angered Gaia?

World's biggest
dope right here, folks!

That's him! Come see
the world's biggest dope!

Ah!

Thank you, o mighty Atlas.

Ah, don't mention it.

Feels good to stretch, you know?

Whew!

I'm sure this is a welcome
respite for you, Mr. Atlas,

But my associate and I
are on a very tight schedule,

So if you wouldn't mind...

What do you need him for?

You got your apples. Ditch him.

Hmm. You do have a point.

Yeah! Why don't
you come with me?

I hear they got a calydonian
pita kitchen in crete now.

Come on! What do you say?

I can't leave Hercules behind,

but what do I do?

I've always used money
to solve my problems.

And so I shall again!
Oh, clever head!

I'm in, Mr. Atlas!

Great!

But Hercules has all of my cash.

What do you mean?

I don't have your money!

Hercules, don't you remember?

I said, "Hold my coin purse,"

and you said, "Whatever you
command, your royal, royal highness."

Hmm? Oh! Oh, right, right!

Yeah, now I remember. Yeah, OK.

Uh, I just need to
reach inside my tunic...

Atlas, be a sport, will you,

And hold the sky while
Hercules gets my money?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Unh!

Thanks.

Oh, and, uh,

lift with your legs,
not your back.

Farewell, foolish titan!

Oh, you stinking mortals!

Short lifers!

Aah!

Oh, no! Pegasus!

Are you all right?

He's fine.

Can't he just fly it off?

No. I think it's sprained.

Then we'll never get
to thrace by sunset.

Good night, sweet prince.

Like flights of angels...

No. There has to be another way.

Hmm...

Maybe I could...
Give it up, Hercules.

You've done all you can.

But you'd be on your way to Thrace
if you hadn't come back for me.

Oh. You're right.

What is this odd new feeling?

That's the feeling of
having done the right thing.

Oh, this is a cruel curse.

And so, the prince of Thrace shall
lay down amongst nature's glory.

And await the cold
grasp of Hades himself.

Hmm.

You don't happen to
have a pillow, do you?

Wait! That's it!

You have a pillow?

No! Nature's glory!

Don't you see, Adonis?

Gaia's not just in Thrace.

Mother nature is all around us.

You think?

Gaia, mother of
earth, I call upon you!

What now? Can't a
girl get a little shuteye?

Well, I'll be a commoner.

You're on, Adonis.

Um, mighty Gaia, I
apologize for waking you.

Twice now.

I offer these golden
apples as my penance.

Golden apples?

Mmm! Delicious!

Thanks, mortal.

OK. Curse removed.

Now go back to your little
lives... and let me sleep!

I'm... alive!

Ha ha!

The prince of Thrace has
single-handedly defeated death itself!

Single-handedly?

Uh... ahem.

You're right. Thank you,
Hercules. You've been a prince.

Of course, you understand
that's just a figure of speech.

I mean, really.

Yeah, yeah, I got it.

♪ Young Adonis
was a lucky curse ♪

♪ But he's still the
prince of fools ♪

♪ If mighty Midas
had a friend like Herc ♪

♪ He wouldn't be
the king of mules ♪

Hey!

Ladies!

Sorry, baby. That one was
just too catchy to throw out