Heartbreak High (1994–1999): Season 1, Episode 24 - Episode #1.24 - full transcript

Can I have your attention, please?

Can I have your attention? Thank you.

I'll be coming around this morning
to your classrooms individually

to inform you of the results of
your class captaincy elections.

Seagulls fly an opal sky

Likewise
Fish are swimming in the ocean

Sunlight streaming through the clouds

Not a care in this world, not a notion

I don't know if I should laugh or cry

You make me feel like I will never die

You can open my eyes
With your sweet loving...



Hey, your fly's undone.

Don't let a little thing
like that worry you, Con.

Maybe he's not getting
enough sleep at your house.

Maybe he's just missing
his mommy and his daddy.

Aw. Don't worry, Con.
They haven't forgotten about you.

Calling, Con.

-Con.
-Earth calling Con. Do you read me?

Oi!

What do you want, man?
-Snap out of it.

Class, can I have
you all sitting down, please?

Peter, off the table.
-Rivers, sit down.

Mr. Southgate would like to make
an announcement.

Poulos, get back to your seat.

Okay.



Can I have your attention, please?

I'm sure you'd like to know
the result of your election.

I'm pleased to announce you've elected
Mr. Nick Poulos as your class captain.

Well done, Nick.

And you've also chosen
Rose Malouf as your vice-captain.

When are some Aussies
gonna get a look in, sir?

Mate, this is democracy.

You understand?
We got the wog vote sewn up.

Right. I'd like to say congratulations.

And I wanna meet with you two
in the principal's office at lunchtime

with the other class captains
so we can discuss what your duties are

and disciplinary procedure.

-Class captain. Hey, I'm impressed.
-What's the big deal?

It is a big deal.
-It's just a joke.

You know? Ha, ha, ha.

Stop being so negative.
It's fantastic, Con?

What is?
-Wake up, buddy. Wake up, will you?

Just shut up why don't you, man!
I don't...

-What's wrong with him?
-I don't know.

-I think it's really good.
-Hey, good on you.

-You'll make a great vice-captain.
-Yeah. Thanks.

Hey, Rose. I just wanna say that
I didn't vote for you or Poulos.

Yeah, Rivers?

Well, voting actually requires
the ability to read and write.

Wow!

Right. Congratulations, one and all,
on your election results.

As you know, Mr. Deloraine and I
have decided to reactivate

the school captaincy
for a number of reasons,

the most important one being
the drop off in our enrollments,

which has to be reversed.

We must attract students here to Hartley.

Now, as class captains, I'd like to
welcome any of your suggestions.

Um, sir? How about a, heated
indoor swimming pool?

Yes, very funny, Poulos.

I am talking about things that
won't break our already straining budget.

Anyone else?

Why don't we try doing something
about the graffiti?

Yes. Good, Rose. Such as?

Well, we could provide mural walls
for the kids to paint what they like.

It'd make the school look less sterile.
-Yeah.

All right.
Well, I'll have to think about that one.

Now, your duty as class captains
is to enforce school rules

and to report any infringements
or violations directly to me.

I would like to see a concerted effort
to encourage the wearing of uniforms.

As school representatives, you have
a responsibility to set a standard.

Which reminds me…

You're all expected to attend
the school association meeting.

You're even allowed to make decisions
on particular issues by voting.

Okay. That will be all.

Thanks for your suggestions.
Now go back to your class. Thank you.

Poulos, can you stick around for a minute?

What now, sir?

No one was more surprised
or disappointed than me

when you were elected class captain.

But I consoled myself with the fact

that you wouldn't have the maturity
or the guts to go through with it.

You're far too cool
for anything like this, aren't you?

So why don't you just do us all
a big favor and quit?

You'd really like that, sir,
wouldn't you?

Go around and tell everyone
that Poulos had to quit

because he didn't have the guts.

It would make it easier for both of us.

Forget it, sir.

You can't get rid of me now, sir.
I'm captain.

I've got really bad cramps, miss.
-Yeah?

-Heaps worse than my periods.
-All right.

I think I might have
caught something, miss.

You know, from sex.

And why weren't you using protection,
Jonno?

-I don't know.
-What do you mean, you don't know?

-Did he force you?
-No.

-It's my fault.
-No, no. There were two of you involved.

Look, I think you better go
and see someone at family planning.

I just--
I can't believe you had unprotected sex.

I mean, that's pretty irresponsible,
don't you think?

-When did this happen?
-About six weeks ago.

Well, I got my period, so at least I know
I'm not pregnant, hey, miss?

Yeah.

Bill.

You and I have to talk.
-Do we?

We have to do some serious talking
to these kids about safe sex.

They already get sex education.

- It's not getting through.
! Good God.

The government spends millions
bombarding them with these messages.

Well, something's not working
because it's not sinking in.

If they're too dumb not to have got
the message by now,

they shouldn't be doing it
in the first place.

If brains were a prerequisite,
you'd still be a virgin.

It's not getting through, Bill.
Just take a look at Rose.

You know, she's hardworking, she's smart,

but you ask her why she took a risk
and it's just, "I got carried away, miss."

Are you gonna be teaching them abstinence
as well?

Because that's the only guaranteed method
against STDs and pregnancies.

But then again, that's not as trendy as
letting them bonk on regardless, is it?

You wanna know why these kids
ignore these safe sex messages?

Yeah. Why?

Because they reckon
they're gonna live forever.

-We did at that age, didn't we?
-I still think it's important.

-So do I.
-So do I.

Well, there you go. That's settled then.
But I'm not gonna make it compulsory.

-Hello.
-Need a lift?

Listen, my mom told me never
to accept a lift from a strange woman.

Hey, but she's in Italy.
She wouldn't know.

-Well, what she doesn't know won't hurt.
-Exactly.

Well…

So you, didn't want your friends
seeing you with an old bag like me?

No. No.
It's just, you know, my friends are--

It's okay, Con. It's okay.
We all have secrets.

What's your secret?

If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret.
-You make me laugh.

So, are we going to your place or--

-Do you want to?
-Do I want to?

Of course I wanna go to your place.
It's all I've been thinking about all day.

Well, sorry.
I've been trying to call you all day.

I can't make it tonight.
I got something else on.

Okay. You got to be straight with me.
Who is it?

Con, I have a very, very busy life,

but I have made room for you
in my frantic schedule tomorrow night.

Would you like to come to my place
for dinner?

Dinner?
-Well, yes or no?

Sure. Let's get-- Yes. Dinner.

Hey, but I got to cook.
I've got to cook, all right?

-I'll see you tomorrow night.
-Okay.

Um…

-No, Con.
-Why?

Don't they teach you discipline
at that school?

No.

Yeah, that would be right.
No school uniforms, no discipline.

Do you want me to wear a uniform?

Aw, I think you'd look very sexy
in a school uniform.

Well, I think I'd look rather sexy too.
-I bet you would.

Now, out of my car.
I got to go.

Come on. Take me with you.
-Come on.

-Just--
-I can't, Con. I can't.

-Come on. Out you go.
-Come on.

-Go, Con.
-Just take me with you.

-No. Tomorrow.
-All right then.

Don't be late.
-Hey, you don't be late.

Bye-bye.
-See you. Call me.

So, anything happen at school today?

-Nothing much. You know, just the usual.
-Well, what about your big election win?

What?
-What?

Class captain has gone all modest.
-What?

Okay. All right. I forgot to tell you.
I got voted in class captain.

-Must've been real hard up.
-Shut up, squirt.

That's fantastic. That's great.
-It is.

It's no big deal.
Don't get too excited.

Must have been so desperate.

I warned you once, okay?
Get out of here. What's your problem?

Anyway, now I'm captain
and that, you know,

Southgate's trying to get me
to enforce all these rules, you know,

I've gotta bust kids,
and I've even gotta wear a uniform now.

Well, it's good to wear a uniform.
Bit of responsibility, hey, George?

-Yeah.
-Well, it's stuffed, if you ask me.

Come on. Leadership is really important.
I mean, following rules is a fact of life.

Okay. But do I have
to look like a dork at the same time?

You won't look like a dork.
You'll look great.

Yeah. You look like one without a uniform.

All right, that's enough.
-Effie, I'd watch it if I were you.

Run.
-Con, my favorite cousin.

Get him away.
-Con, wash your hands.

Smart.
-Come on. We're eating. Move it.

Anyway, my uniform is way too small,
so it's out of the question.

Come on. We'll lash out.
New trousers, new shirt, tie, shoes.

Yeah.
-All right. Get it over and done with.

It looks nice.

Hey, I borrowed your old uniform.
I hope you don't mind.

No, not at all, man.
I just don't understand why.

I don't know. I just felt like
it was a change, you know.

I really like it.

It saves having to choose
what to wear in the morning.

When are you gonna get one, Nick?

My dad's buying me a new one soon, okay?

Hey, hey, hey!

Hey. You people know the rule
about kissing in corridors.

Tell somebody who gives a damn, bro.

You wanna mess with me, mate?
I'll have you reported in seconds.

You're such a suck, Nick.

Mate, if you did that, you wouldn't last
two seconds around this place, all right?

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

Mr. Southgate, sir.

I was just explaining the new rule
that we have about kissing in the hallway,

and, um, I think Peter
wanted to make a few suggestions.

Well, don't be shy, Rivers. Speak up.

All right. I'll write them down
and give them to my class captain, sir.

See you.

Remember, Poulos, the system only works

if it's seen to be fair to everybody,
not just your mates.

Suck!

Hey.
-All right. This is serious.

It's life and death stuff.

These are not sleeping bags for mice.

And they're not
to put your lunch money in.

They're condoms.
-Condoms?

What did I say?
-Condoms.

That's right. Brothers and sisters,
little latex lifesavers.

Miss, this is the worst chewing gum
I've ever tasted.

Miss, shouldn't Rose be allowed
to go home? It's a bit late for her.

Why don't you shut up, scrubber?

You guys. You're so clever,

you're putting your lives on the line
for some momentary pleasure.

Momentary? Miss, you ain't doing it right.

If you can't shut up
and listen, you can get out now.

Miss, I wouldn't
miss this for the world.

Look, we're not trying to tell you
how to run your lives. That's not it.

We're just suggesting a way
that could save your lives.

Would someone please like to explain to me
what the problem is with condoms?

They're too small, miss.

Well, stop trying to pull them
all the way down over your head, Peter.

Look, come on. I'm serious.

Okay. It mightn't mean death,
but it could mean pain, discomfort,

sterility, unwanted pregnancies.

I just don't understand why you guys
are willing to take the risk.

Miss, look.
I don't know about anyone else,

but I just feel a little bit uncomfortable
just walking into a chemist,

'cause you usually got two girls
who descend on you, or worse,

it's someone who reminds you of your mom.
So it's a little bit in your face.

All right. Okay.

Imagine how uncomfortable you'll feel
fronting up to some bloke

to tell him you got
his little girl pregnant.

-That's fine.
-I reckon it's a boy's responsibility.

No, not at all.
-It takes two to tango, Danielle.

I reckon a girl looks cheap
if she's carrying a condom.

Come on. That's silly.
-But what if a guy is prepared, right?

He's got condoms in his wallet.
It just looks like he wants to pump.

Well, you all do, anyway?
-Con, what do you think?

Hey, wake up.
-Condoms.

Con-dom. Boom!

I don't know. Sell them in the tuck shop.

No, miss,
I think that should be taken seriously.

Why don't we get condom
vending machines in the toilets?

Hey--

-What do you reckon?
-I don't think it's a bad idea.

Yeah. I...
I suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask.

Maybe if you guys could get
a petition together,

just to show that the students
support the idea, it might help.

Shh.
-Yeah. Okay. Nick and I will get on that.

All right. Let's get on with the practical
demonstration of putting a condom on.

Miss, miss, I'm more of a cucumber
kind of a guy. You know what I mean?

-In your dreams, Peter.
-Any way you like it, miss.

Any volunteers, miss?
-Keep your pants on.

Hey, hey. Wait, wait, wait.
Settle. Hey! Settle down.

Someone's gonna get hurt, okay?
-Or you'll do what?

-You want me to put you on detention?
-Wow. A detention.

How about I wipe your face
all over this wall?

Get lost.

Authority isn't all it's cracked up to be,
is it?

Maybe I'm just not as bossy
as some people.

I don't get it.
-You'll learn.

I just wanted to show you this.

It's a directive from the department

banning the use of mobile phones
in schools.

-So what are you showing me for?
-Because I need you to enforce it.

-Come on, sir.
-It's the rules.

But you know that Con's the only student

in the whole school
that's got a mobile phone.

Well, it won't take you long then,
will it?

I can't do this. It stinks.

Responsibility means having to do things
we don't always agree with, Poulos.

I didn't make the rule.

No way. You can forget it.
Get someone else to do it.

-I'm not doing that.
-Same rule for everybody, Poulos.

You could always quit.

This is disgusting.
Why don't you clean it up, Bill?

The department cannot afford a tea lady.

Bill, we really have to talk.

No, you need to talk, Yola.
Nonstop, apparently.

The kids have suggested that we put
a condom vending machine in the toilet.

Good God. What next? Porno nights?
-Yeah.

Will you be serious, please?
-I am being serious.

-The P&C will go berserk. Milk, please.
-How do you know until we bring it up?

Look, if it saves one kid's life,
it's worth the effort.

We have to set a good example.

-You all practice what you preach, do you?
-Yes, of course we do.

Yeah, of course.

Well, maybe we should get one
for the staff room too.

Anything else you think
they should need? Water beds?

Would you guys please be serious?

Anyway, it's too late to go
on the agenda for tonight's meeting.

Well, fine.
I'll bring it up in general business.

-Yeah. I'm sure you will.
-You bet I will.

Just put your name, you know,

so we can get a few people's support.
Otherwise, they're not gonna listen to us.

You thought of this?
-Yeah. Sort of. Me and Rose.

-Poulos.
-Spot on. Good, good.

Yes, sir.

There's a little matter out there
needs taking care of.

Yes, can I speak to Greta Stewart, please?

Yeah, I'll hold.

Greta? Hi.
It's me. How are you?

I just thought, you know,
I'd call you just to let you know,

I'm wearing that school uniform for you.

Yeah. I've been thinking about you
all day. You wouldn't believe.

Put it away.
-Hang on one moment. What?

I said put that thing away
before you lose it.

I'm talking
to someone important here, man.

Hey, mobile phones are banned
on the school property now, okay?

-Put it away before you lose it, man!
-I don't care. I don't care!

-Are you gonna listen to me or what?
-No. Rack off!

-Okay?
-Okay. Okay.

-This is confiscated, Bordino.
-What?

Departmental directive.
I don't make the rules.

-I don't care about no departmental rules.
-Hey, don't push your luck, all right?

Man. This is crap, man.
Give me the phone back.

-Afraid not.
-You're full of it, Mr. Southgate.

You have just earned yourself detention.
You wanna double it?

-Yeah. Go on, double it.
-Okay. You want triple? I've got all day.

Good.

Thanks for nothing.

-Hello.
-Hi. Are you busy?

No. It's just science class.
How are you?

I'm good. Why did you hang up on me?

Some thickhead teacher nearly caught me.

-And did you get into trouble?
-Yeah. Heaps.

Aw. You poor baby.

I'm gonna have to find some way
of making it up to you.

Yeah? How would you do that?

Who the hell is this?

Sir.

Sir, look,
I realize I was out of line, you know.

I was disrespectful
and, I apologize, sir, you know.

Thank you. Get on with your work.

But, sir, you don't understand.
I need that phone.

Um, see, that's my lifeline. That's me.

And how is that, Bordino?

Well, see, well, my oldies,
they've gone away, you know.

They've left me the responsibility
to look after the family business,

and, um, see, without that phone,

you're taking away
my family's bread and butter, sir.

And this business, what would that be?
Dial-an-escort service?

I answered your phone before,
and it was positively obscene, Bordino.

That was a personal call.

Yes. From what I heard,
it was an extremely personal call.

Now, if they're the sort of calls
you're gonna be making on that phone,

you can forget about using it at school.

I'm gonna be talking
to your parents about it.

You can't talk
to my parents about it, sir.

I just told you.
They're in Italy, visiting my grandmother.

Right. Well, until they get back

you'll just have to use
the public telephone box

for your heavy breathing sessions.

Come on.

Now, I know it's a bit of a come-down
but you'll cope.

Yes.

Mr. Southgate, can I have a word
with you outside, please?

There's something
I need to discuss with you, sir.

-Yeah. What is it?
-It's about Con's phone, sir.

Can we work something out, you know?
Some compromise?

What? Like, you scratch my back,
I'll scratch yours sort of thing?

Yeah. Something like that.

-All right. What do you want?
-What are you offering?

Okay.

Con gets his mobile back tomorrow,
but he's not to use it in school grounds.

Okay. Sounds fair to me.

But what do I have to do in return?

Right.

You are to vote against
the vending machine in tonight's meeting.

No, sir. Come on…

Sir, I was the one
that helped organize that petition.

You changed your mind.
It's not just a woman's prerogative.

Yeah. But it's a good idea.

Well, I don't think it is, and I'm the one
holding Bordino's precious phone.

Isn't compromise
a beautiful thing, Poulos?

You look great, man. Beautiful.

It's stiff around my neck and it's itchy.

-No, Nick, it just needs a little wash.
-It's prickling me in the neck.

-It'll be fantastic. You look absolutely--
-Dorky.

You be quiet.
-Watch it.

Hey.
-You look terrific, really good.

And you're not gonna have to worry about
anybody mugging you for your runners.

I think this is the perfect end
to a lousy day.

-Rubbish. You look great, really.
-Thanks, Stella.

You know, Southgate...

Southgate got me
to bust Con today for his mobile phone.

Good on him.

All of a sudden mobile phones
are banned from school.

It's just a stupid distraction.
It's a status symbol for him.

Well, hey, I tried to tell him,
but, you know, he didn't wanna listen.

He's stubborn. So Southgate
just took his phone off him.

Nick, did you get your dad
to sign the petition?

-The petition.
-What's it for?

We're trying to get some condom
vending machines in the toilets at school.

-Not in front of your sister, okay?
-Dad, don't treat me like a child.

Now look, you go and do your homework.

Go and do your homework.
Go on, get.

Hey, don't play dumb, mate.
She knows what condoms are.

What do they want a condom
vending machine at school for?

George, for heaven's sake. Come on.
-I'm serious.

Hi, Con. How was school?

Yeah.
Well, detention was fantastic, wasn't it?

Um, anyway, excuse me.
I gotta get ready. I gotta go out.

What are you gonna do with this petition?

I'm gonna take it to
the P&C meeting tonight.

I forgot all about it.

Go away.

-So, who's the babe?
-She's no babe, mate. She's a lady.

Please. Is that why
you're being a grumpy bum lately?

-Are you in love?
-Will you get lost, you little squirt?

What's with the uniform?

-Greta loves a uniform.
-Greta?

Yeah. Mate, you'll like Greta.
She's fantastic. She's smart, she's funny.

What does she see in you?
-You're trying to be funny now too?

-What does she do?
-She's a TV producer, mate.

You should see her car.
It's better than my Buick.

An Audi convertible.

-How old is she?
-Does it matter how old she is?

I suppose not.

Look, she's fantastic,
and that's all that matters to me.

Now, would you please run along?

Are you gonna do something
about that real long nose hair?

-It's so gross.
-What?

-Sucked in.
-Get out.

Katerina. Come in, Peter.

-Hey, Mr. P. Hey, Stella.
-Hello, Peter.

Where are you off to tonight?
-Just a flick.

Right. No sex or violence, I hope.

No, no.
It's called Ax Murderers In Love.

It's a comedy.

-Yeah, well, I'm ready. Let's go.
-Bye, sweetheart.

Not too late.
-Yes, Mom.

Trust me.
-Okay. See you.

I'm gonna be staying
at a friend's house tonight.

Have you got a phone number?

I forgot. I'll give it to you
when I get there, all right?

An interesting outfit, Con.

You smell like you've been hit
by an aftershave truck.

Don't you think
it's time you go to bed?

-Out of here.
-Wait a minute.

Hey, hey! Don't forget the phone number!

You're early.
Don't you look gorgeous?

-You don't look too bad yourself.
-You just got me out of a spa. Come in.

This is a great place.

Are they for anyone in particular?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I can't believe I did that.

Thank you. They're gorgeous.
They must have cost you a fortune.

Thank you very much.

I'm sorry.
I'm just spinning out on this house.

-Con.
-Yeah.

Come here and kiss me.

What?

Well…

Ooh

-Woo!
-Okay.

That was okay.
That was good. I like that one.

Quiet, please! One at a time.

I realize this is a highly emotive issue.

But let's keep a civil tongue
in our heads.

-The chair recognizes Miss Fatoush.
-Thank you, Barbara.

There is absolutely no evidence to prove

that having condoms available
promotes promiscuity.

Hold on. Hold on.
Their heads are already full of sex.

Installing a vending machine
would just encourage them.

-That'll make it worse.
-How could it make it worse?

-Because it's--
-It might just make them safe.

And okay, yes, their heads
are full of sex but it's not their fault.

They're being bombarded
with sexual imagery wherever they turn.

They get it on TV,
music, video, advertising.

Exactly why the school
should be a haven from that kind of smut.

Smut?

Hang on. Hang on.

In my day, we just used to go
behind the sheds and have a quick smoke.

I mean, nowadays you're expecting us to
support bloody orgies and it's not on.

This isn't-- Excuse me,
but this isn't a moral issue.

-It's a health issue.
-Rubbish. It's both.

Excuse me, please. Yes, look, we are
all concerned about our children's health.

-We all are.
-That is the point.

So, shouldn't we be also teaching them
that it's all right to say no?

We are!
-It is all right to say no.

Okay. Now, wait.

Look, you can get condoms in pharmacies,
supermarkets, service stations, hotels.

Just about everywhere. Why schools?

Why not schools?

There is absolutely nothing
wrong with sex in its place.

I just don't believe
that school is that place.

Look...

Can I say something?
-Go ahead.

I'm pregnant. I'm not ashamed of it.

-Shh!
-And I'm not ashamed of it.

But I do wish that one of us had thought
about it a bit more before we did it.

Maybe a condom machine in a private place
like the toilets

might have helped us
to make the right choice.

A safe choice.

No, she's got a point.
-Listen to her.

Man, I think I've just died
and gone to heaven.

I don't feel too bad myself.

Cloud nine, man.

Hey, listen. By the way,
what did you say to Mr. Southgate?

Why? Did you get into trouble?

Yeah. Well, you could say that.

-What'd you say?
-Well, I said…

Well, no.

You beast. You're an animal.

I have to admit, I love that in a woman.

Do you?
-Yeah.

Where have you been?
I've been worried sick.

You should have been home
an hour and a half ago.

-Chill out, Mom.
-This is a school night.

You've got to get up tomorrow morning.
You should have been home before now.

-Mom, get off my case.
-Don't you dare speak to me like that.

Or you'll what?

I'll make sure
you never see that Peter again.

You can't stop me.

-You wanna bet?
-Yes.

It's getting very late.

I think we've discussed the motion
long enough. We'll have a vote.

All those in favor of asking
the department to install

condom vending machines in
the senior girls' and boys' toilets,

raise their hands.

Well...
-Wow.

Against?

-The motion is carried narrowly.
-Yes!

Good on you!
-That's great.

Rachel.

-I think he's dead.
-Shh. Leave him be, darling.

-What's his name?
-Con.

He's a bit funny-looking, don't you think?

I heard that, young lady.

Listen. Who are you?

-I'm Rachel.
-Rachel?

-This is my daughter.
-Your daughter?

How's it going, you pork sausage?
-Okay.

Breakfast is ready.
-So where were you last night?

-At Nanny's.
-Mom's got a place next door.

It's very handy.

Come on, darling. You're so heavy.

A daughter?

Good morning.
-Where's Con?

He stayed at someone's house last night.

He was supposed to call
and leave a phone number.

Come on, George.
Let's not get upset about it.

As long as he's under my roof,
he's my responsibility.

I see, so Con doesn't come home at all,
and it's all right.

I'm an hour late
and I'm treated like a criminal.

Here we go.
-Forget that. That's not true.

Dear.
-He's got a girlfriend.

-Sorry. She's not a girl. She's a lady.
-What?

-What?
-Wait. Hang on.

I think she's making it up, right?

-It's true.
-And what did he tell you?

That's she was smart,
pretty, funny, and she sounds rich.

-What does she see in Con?
-That's what I said. But I was joking.

-And he said nothing to you?
-No. It's the first I've heard of it.

Maybe he's saving it as a surprise for us.

-He's certainly done that, all right.
-Dirty little dog.

Yes?

Why aren't you wearing
your school uniform?

Because I quit. Are you satisfied?

-Finally.
-Yeah.

Frankly, Rose Malouf will do
a much better job than you ever could.

You're way too cool
for this wussy prefecting, aren't you?

No. That's not what it's about, okay?

I didn't like the company
that I had to keep.

And all this stuff about "You scratch my
back, I'll scratch yours" makes me sick.

That's compromise, Poulos. It's the grease
of the wheels of administration.

Yeah? Well, you know where you
can stick your greasy wheel, don't you?

Yes, yes, Poulos.
I've heard it all before.

-I've finished, Mom. May I be excused?
-Yes, darling. Go and get dressed.

Hey, listen.
I've got the day off work today,

so we are going to play all day.

Yay!

-She's a great kid.
-Yeah, she sure is.

-Do you have milk?
-Yeah.

Yeah. Sugar?

Two, thanks.
-Two?

-Listen, why didn't you tell me?
-Tell you what?

-About her, man.
-Didn't ask.

Voilà.

Croissant?
-Come on, man.

I didn't know what was gonna happen
between you and I.

Look, I know
this is none of my business,

but where's her father?

We separated.

He was a workaholic.
You can't have two in the one family.

Look, if you feel
uncomfortable about Rachel,

-I will completely understand.
-No, hey, come on.

-I mean, we are a team.
-Please.

No one comes between the dynamic duo.

Greta, it's okay, all right?
It's cool. It's all right.

So where are we gonna take her today?

I don't know. Got any ideas?

I feel like a child again...

There's a wave behind you.

Ooh, angel, you blow my soul

All the wonders of this world
Now unfold...

You can open my eyes
With your sweet loving...

You can open my eyes
With your sweet loving

Bill, hello.

The class captains
are cutting down on graffiti.

-You better watch out.
-Ooh. I'm scared. I'm really scared.

We are so smug today, aren't we?
So self-satisfied.

It's hard to be humble, Bill,
when you're this good.

-You seen the paper?
-No.

"The findings
of the parliamentary committee

to investigate AIDS management
has been disbanded

after the government
refused to accept their recommendations

for condom vending machines in schools."

What? You're joking.

You've been patting yourselves on the back
for convincing one committee meeting.

You have years of committee meetings
to convince before you get that idea

through the department.

Fine. We'll take up a collection,
have one installed ourselves.

Yeah.

And I'll happily have it ripped off
the wall and thrown off school property.

What is it, Bill?

Are you jealous that these kids
still have enough bodily fluids left

to have a good time?

Is that it?

The issue is now firmly off the agenda

till I hear otherwise
from the department. Understood?

Understood?
-Yes.

Yes.

Look at these long faces.
What's up, girls?

It's a long story.

I got all day.

Ruby, what do you think about condoms?

Condoms? Well, it's a long,
misty memory for me, darls.

No, no, nowadays.

Well, nowadays,
reckon you can't be too careful.

I tell all the fellas,
if you're gonna do it,

pop it in a fun bag first.

Ruby, what do you think
about really stupid rules?

What particular stupid rule
are we talking about?

The one that says you're not allowed
to have a condom vending machine

within two kilometers of a school.

Yeah, well, that's the stupidest rule
I think I've ever heard.

-That's good.
-Why?

-What are you two up to?
-It's perfect.

-Kids come here all the time.
-Aw, Ruby, I could kiss you.

What have I done?

There's Con.
-Yeah.

-All right?
-Bye, big munchkin.

-Bye-bye, big man.
-Pork sausage.

Look after yourself?
-See you.

-Steak sausage.
-No, you're a pork sausage.

Bye!

What's up?
-Aw, nothing much.

Do you want to tell us who that is?

Them?
That's nobody, man. She's just a friend.

-Are we ever gonna meet her?
-You wish you are.

Is that the, the lady that Effie's
been telling us about?

Can I have a bit of privacy

without you guys harassing me
all the time, please?

Harassing you? Who's harassing you, man?
I was just asking.

You're harassing me
and I don't wanna know about it, okay?

-You're so full of it lately.
-Do I have to say it twice?

-Leave me alone.
-You're full of it, mate. Get out of here.

Coming to dinner?

I'm not hungry.

What's going on?

Nothing's going on.

What's the story with the woman?
How old is she?

Nick's been blabbing on again. I know.

No. I'm asking the question.
How old is she?

Does it matter?
I don't know, man. I don't care.

-But she's in her 30s.
-Yeah. So what?

-And she's got a daughter.
-Yes.

-Where's the father?
-They're separated. You happy?

Yes? Okay.

I just hope you know what you're doing.
-Man. What's that supposed to mean?

Well, it means that I think you're letting
yourself in for a whole lot of heartache.

-I can take care of myself, okay?
-Sure. "I can take care of myself." Yeah.

-Hey, look.
-Listen.

You don't have a clue
what's going on between us.

Hey. I'm trying to have
a reasonable conversation.

I don't care.

-How long have you known her?
-I don't care.

-I'm not--
-I'm sure she's a lovely woman.

But she is a woman.

-I don't care.
-You are a kid, man.

You're not my father.
Don't tell me what to do, man.

-Come on. Hey, where are you going?
-I'm going out.

Hi. Hey, come in.

What's the matter?
-Nothing.

Was there a fight at home or something?

-No, it's okay.
-Yeah?

-Can I stay? Is that cool?
-Well, that could be a problem.

I've got someone in bed with me
at the moment.

What?

It's okay. You can put her
in her own bed if you like.

You shouldn't say things
like that to me, man.

Look, um…

-I love you. You know that?
-Hey.

Shh.

Shh. Shh.

Come on.

I feel like a child again

My arms wrapped around
The girl that I love

Ooh, angel, you blow my soul

All the wonders of this world
Now unfold

You can open my eyes
With your sweet loving

You can open my eyes
With your sweet loving

You can open my eyes
With your sweet loving