Heartbreak High (1994–1999): Season 1, Episode 23 - Episode #1.23 - full transcript

Oi!

Get out of the way.

Watch out. The prince is coming through.

Yeah.

Jodie!

How's my favorite client this morning?

-I thought I was your only client.
-That's right. My favorite and only, mate.

-How are you doing?
-I've felt better.

Yeah? Well, I've got the thing
just to cheer you up, young lady.

-I'm not interested.
-Well, I haven't even said it yet.

Yeah, well, I'm still not interested.



Even if we can crack you
into the big time?

No offense, Con,
but I've heard it all before.

Yeah. I've only got
two words to say, young lady.

-Star Quest.
-What?

You know, the talent show?
-I'm not going on that.

This is a great opportunity
to get yourself well known.

I'm not gonna compete
against a bunch of losers.

All right, okay. Look, I admit
the standard of the acts aren't very high,

but it's a bonus
as far as we're concerned, right?

Forget it, Con. I'm not interested.

I-I'm just thinking of you here,
Jode, all right?

If you sing up a storm on Star Quest,
you-- you've got a profile, right?

All right, it might not be the image
you're looking for, but it's a start.

Best thing is
it's not gonna cost us a cent.



You can tell me to rack off if you want,
but I really believe in this one, Jode.

-Yeah?
-Okay. Okay, I'll think about it.

Think about it,
but don't think too long, all right?

I got to get the application in
by the end of the day.

You don't give up, do you?

Hey, listen. My clients deserve the best.

Okay. -
Peter, can you sit down, please?

Overall, I'm a little bit disappointed
by most of these.

Rose. That's an excellent essay.
Thank you.

-Thanks, miss.
-Being pregnant must help you study, Rose.

Get real, Steve.

Okay. A little bit more effort,
I think, is required from you, Steven.

-Maybe you should get pregnant, Steve.
-Peter, sit down, please!

That was good work, Katerina.

You obviously did very well at history
at your last school.

Yeah, well, the nuns
used to beat it into us.

I'm beginning to think
I should try that with some of you here.

Yes, please, miss.
I wouldn't mind a thrashing from you.

Okay. That's enough, Con.
-Yeah, me too, miss.

Why don't you take it up
with Mr. Southgate?

I'm sure he'd be more than happy
to oblige to you all.

I didn't appear to get one
from you, Peter.

Yeah, there's a good reason
for that, miss.

-Which is?
-I didn't do it.

-I don't know how you expect to pass.
-I don't.

-I'd like you to see me after class.
-Yes, miss.

Miss, I would gladly volunteer
to beat it into him if you like.

-Ooh, Nicky, I didn't know you cared.
-Of course I do.

That's enough.

Okay. Can we open our books
to chapter five, please?

Thought I might try those weights
you showed me.

All right. Just make sure
you don't overdo it, all right?

Don't worry. I'll use the girly ones.

-You know what I mean.
-Yeah, I know what you mean.

I just wish you were going
to train with me, that's all.

Well, I'll tell you what.

I'm gonna go do my laps first and then
I'll come and check on you later.

-Okay?
-Okay.

See you later.

Hi.

Hi.

So how have you been?
-What do you care?

-Come on, Jodie.
-No, you come on.

There's no use pretending
that you're interested in how I am.

You've made your choice.

So why don't you and Miss Prissy go
and pump iron until your heart's content?

-Why don't you leave Danielle out of this?
-Why?

I think you two make a great couple.

Just keep her working on her body, Nick,

because her muscles
are bigger than her brains.

Me and Danielle get along just fine,

better than you and me ever did,
that's for sure.

-Thanks a lot.
-Well, you asked for it.

I really asked you to cheat on me?

Well, I wouldn't have had to
if you'd been there for me.

- Hey, hey. Just--
-You stay out of it, okay?

Just lay off.
-It's none of your business.

It is when you're upsetting
my client, okay?

-Your client?
-Yes.

Do you honestly believe all of this stuff?

Can you just leave her alone, Nick?
Please?

Just glide along like that,
pushing off each leg slowly.

Okay?
-I don't think so.

-Just give it a go.
-I can't do that.

Come on. Just give it a go.

Look, if you fall or anything,
I'll be here, you know?

-I'll catch you.
-You sure?

-Trust me. Come on.
-Make sure.

I can't stop these things,
I don't know how you stop these things.

That's it. That's it. Don't worry.
I got you. Not bad.

-Hey.
-It's pretty hopeless.

That's not bad. I'm telling you.

-You'll get better.
-I won't.

Here, let me fix this up.

So tell me something...

Have you ever thought about
what you wanna do with your life?

Where did that come from?

I don't know. I'm just wondering.

I don't know. I don't think
I'll ever do too well at school.

I've always thought of seeing myself
in a gym or something, you know.

-A gym? That's a good idea. Yeah.
-Yeah.

There's a part-time job going at
my local gym as an aerobics instructor.

-Yeah?
-If I thought I had a chance, I'd apply.

Well, why don't you?

Because you have to be really, really fit.

Yeah, but you're good
at that sort of thing, aren't you?

-Yeah.
-I-I'll help you train if you want.

Yeah?

I could do with the money.

Yeah, but it's not just about
the money, you see.

You know, that could be a good
foot in the door for the future.

-Hey, I haven't got the job yet.
-No, but you'll get it. I know you will.

-You think so?
-Yeah.

Me again. What a surprise.

Some people might just call that
sheer luck, Rivers.

Looked more like skill to me, loser.

Loser? Well, at least
I beat you in history, mate.

Like I care.
-Yeah, so what did Milano say?

-She wants me to get a better attitude.
-Well, um, maybe you're just not up to it.

I could pass if I wanted to, Steve.
-Really?

Hey.

-I bet I'll beat you in the next exam.
-Hey, how much?

Large pizza and chips.

Mate, if that's all,
forget about it.

What's the matter? You a bit scared?
-Get real.

Not only is he stupid,
he's gutless as well.

Come on, mate.
Just set up the balls, will you?

Well, why don't you take him on?

All right, I will.
But I just wanna tell you now, Steve.

I'm gonna eat that whole pizza
in front of your face.

I think you got to win first.

Look lively, Jodie. You've been making
that coffee for 20 minutes.

See what you can do with her,
will you, darl?

Yeah.

-Sorry.
-Thanks.

Still upset?
-I don't know what's the matter with me.

Nick gave you a hard time.

Yeah. I reckon I should
just steer clear of him.

Yeah, that's right.
You know, he's the one with the problem.

You got to put all of this behind you.

You know, you got to start concentrating
on that career. Yeah?

-You know what I think?
-What?

I think you're a really sweet guy.
-Ooh. Yeah.

Wow…

Thanks, Con.
-Thank you.

Good morning, groovers.

Morning.
-Con's late today.

-Maybe he's not coming.
-He always comes.

-Doesn't he, Stella?
-Yeah, he sure does.

Yeah, well, maybe
he's got better things to do.

Like what?
-Like Jodie.

What about her?
-Do you want some eggs, Nick?

Yes, please. What about Jodie?

What about her?

Well, not that it's any of your business,

but she and Con were looking pretty hot
for each other last night.

That's crap.
-Nick.

I know what I saw.
-Stop it.

So you reckon Con's on with Jodie?

Don't listen to her, Eff.

That'll be Con now.
-Ask him yourself.

Good morning, all.
-Morning.

Is it true, Con? Is it true?
-What is?

-That you're Jodie's new boyfriend.
-Hey, listen.

I'm saving myself for just one
little girl, and that's you.

Yeah? That's not what
it looked like to me.

Look, you've got it all wrong, you know.
Besides, it wouldn't be professional.

-You know, I'm her manager.
-That's right. You are.

Eggs, Con?
-Yes, thanks.

That kiss didn't look very professional.

She was feeling a bit down. I thought
I'd just cheer her up a bit, you know.

Right. So you decide to try
and sleaze your way in. Is that it?

Look, she only feels that way
because of you.

That's enough, boys.
-What's that got to do with you?

Look, I don't like the way
you're treating her, all right?

I just think you should give her
a bit of a break.

I think you should give her a break
and stop trying to take advantage of her!

Come off it, mate.
-Settle down.

No. Hey, I know what you're up to, mate.
I know what you're up to.

I don't know why you're showing
your face around here, though.

-You've lost it, mate.
-Don't call me no mate.

Maybe I should call you
what Jodie calls you now,

but hey, I don't wanna say it
in front of your little sister.

Get out of here. Yeah, leave.
-Thanks for breakfast.

So... what's the story?

There is no story.
-Come on, come on.

You don't shout at your cousin
like that every day.

He got on my nerves.

Well, you get on my nerves too,
but I don't shout at you.

-Hey, the guy's a jerk, all right?
-Hey. All right.

That's all there is to it.

Does this mean Con
won't be coming around here anymore?

No, honey.
It'll blow over in a couple of days.

I hope so.

And…

That's it. Get the full stretch.

Right up on your toes.
Right up, all the way.

Come on, leap into it.
All your body weight.

Good, good. Good punches. Big punches.

That's it. Kick hard. Lunge deep.

Come on. Come on!

Yeah, come on, power.
Jump into it. Power.

Lunge deeper!

Come on. I want to see you throw
your body weight around. Use the power!

Come on. Don't slow down!

-Go harder. Come on!
-I can't.

-Go.
-I can't.

-What do you mean, you can't?
-I can't.

No excuses, Danni. Hey.

Hey, what are you doing?

-Why are you pushing me so hard?
-'Cause that's what I'm here for.

Well, I don't like the way
you've been speaking to me.

Well, that's what coaching is about.

If you want this job,
you've gotta give it your best shot.

What if I don't get the job?

Well, if you start talking like that,
then you're a loser already.

Now let's go, okay? We got
some work to do. Let's keep going.

Jodie. Jodie? Hey.

-Guess what.
-What?

I just heard back from the channel.

They've seen your video clip
and they're very, very impressed.

-Yeah, big deal.
-But that's not all. Listen.

One of the contestants of the show
has just dropped out for this week, right?

They want you to replace them. Yes.

-Well, when is it?
-It's tomorrow.

-Tomorrow?
-Yeah.

-Well, that's pretty soon.
-Soon is good.

-It's good.
-What will I wear?

We'll think of something.
My mom's wardrobe's chock-a-block.

-I don't have anything to sing.
-Anything you want.

-I gave them a list of what you know. Hey?
-Can't we put it on hold for a while?

Hold? Jodie, listen.
When stardom calls, you answer, okay?

Yeah?

Yeah?

-Well, I guess I better say yes then.
-That's what I love to hear. Yes.

See, you tiger.

They're not trying to hide it, are they?

-Let's get out of here.
-No. You just get whatever you want.

I don't care about them.

Hey!

All right. Today, we're going to begin to
discuss the Arab-Israeli conflict, so--

Ooh, ooh!

This is a pleasant surprise.
A question from Peter Rivers.

Yes. I was just wondering about
the Greek and Italian conflict, miss.

-The what?
-The Poulos and Bordino conflict.

-Looks pretty heavy to me.
-Why don't you drop dead, wanker?

-Also known as the Grease Wars, miss.
-Why don't you grow a brain?

See how touchy they are, miss?

I think we should get the United Nations
to sit between these two.

-Yeah, all right. It's very funny, Peter.
-Why do wogs always fight over women?

Now you are being offensive,
so just be quiet, all right?

First there was Helen of Troy,
now there's Jodie of Hartley. I mean--

Con!
-Got you.

Con, have you got something to add?
-Got you.

Yeah, of course, miss.

I just wanted to let everyone know
that Jodie Cooper's

gonna be performing on Star Quest…

-…tomorrow night, so--
-What a turkey of a show that is.

I want to inform you that the phones
are open afterwards, after the show.

You know, let the show know
that she's fantastic.

Thank you for
the little advertisement, Con.

I know that I'll definitely be watching.
But can I get on with my class now?

Sorry for intruding, miss.

Right. Just a little reminder
before we go on

that there will be
a revision exam on Monday,

and it is going to go
towards your final assessment.

Come on.
-So, please be prepared.

Hey, can we talk for a second?

-I'm late for class.
-Don't give me that.

-There's nothing left to say, Nick.
-Yeah, there is.

I think you're making a real fool
of yourself with Con.

Yeah, well, that's our business, isn't it?

Hey, he's my mate and I don't wanna see
him get hurt, okay?

How very touching. And I thought
you were only concerned about yourself.

Don't try and get back
at me through him, all right?

You know, you're really up yourself.

I'm with Con because I like him

and he treats me
a hell of a lot better than you ever did.

So keep your opinions to yourself.

So, Peter, you know, maybe I should
just order that pizza now.

Steve,
maybe you should choke on it, mate.

Haven't got you worried, have I, mate?

-Not at all.
-See you.

-Bye.
-Are you gonna study for the exam?

-Get real.
-I could help you. We could work together.

And why would you wanna do that?

More to the point,
why would I wanna do that?

-You could pass.
-And?

-You could win the bet.
-I've got my own ideas about that.

Ease off... Ease off.

Come on. Hey, that's enough, all right?

-What's wrong?
-That's enough.

-I was really going well there.
-All right. Just cool it off a bit.

Take these off.

What's bothering you?

There's nothing wrong, okay?

Will you tell me what's wrong with you?

-Can you talk to me?
-There's nothing wrong with me, okay?

It's Con.

Okay?
He's making a fool of himself with Jodie

and I can't stop thinking about it.

-So what if he is?
-I think he's gonna get hurt.

Is that what's really bothering you?

What do you mean?

Maybe you're jealous
because you're still in love with Jodie.

-Don't be stupid.
-Well, are you?

No.

Look, Nick, you have to tell me
these things if you are,

'cause sometimes I feel that
you don't even know I'm here.

I'm sorry. I think about you all the time.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

-Hey, someone's gonna walk in.
-Don't worry about it.

-They might see us.
-Don't worry about it.

Well, this must be it.
-So what do we do now?

Good question. Um… Well, just wait here
and I'll find out for you. It's my job.

If you can't get it right, there are
plenty of other people who can.

-Sorry, Ms. Stewart.
-Okay, now don't do it again.

Ms. Stewart. Ms. Stewart.
You must be the producer, right?

Con Bordino.
-Who?

Con Bordino,
Con Bordino Management Enterprises.

-And what are you?
-Well, I'm Jodie Cooper's manager.

-I spoke to your office on the phone.
-Get to the point.

Well, Jodie's here to fill in
for the contestant who dropped out.

Yes. And?

I just wanted to let you know we're here.

-Great. Thank you for sharing that with me
-Great.

Just keep out of my way
for the rest of the day, will you?

I've got a show to put on.
-… Thank you, Ms. Stewart.

Appreciate it.

Okay? I'll come and get you
when it's time to rehearse with the band.

-Thanks.
-Great.

-So what did she say?
-Well, I'm second act of the night.

Second? No. No!

What have I taught you, man?
You got to be last, capiche?

Listen, if you're last,
you're gonna blow these acts away.

And you're gonna stay fresh
in the judges' mind.

-You got to understand that.
-Look, well, that's what she said, Con.

Yeah. Well, look, I'm gonna sort it out.

You let me do the talking next time,
okay? All right.

-You're mad.
-It's worth a try, though.

But how do you know it's in there?

Of course it's in there.
It's in her desk, for sure. Well, come on.

Well, why should I risk my butt
to get a stupid exam paper?

I'll share my pizza with you.

Well, why don't you just study
like everyone else?

Takes too long.

-Well, that's how you pass.
-Yeah.

But the less time we have to study,
the more time we have to, play games.

And I don't mean Scrabble,
if you know what I mean.

All right. Go on.
Get in there. I'll keep watch.

I can get in and out
of this place in five minutes flat.

What are you waiting for?

Go.

It seems to me that your coverage
of the sports is fantastic.

Current affairs is pretty good too.
But this show is very, very sloppy.

Now, is there a reason for that? Anyone?

No? Well, just tighten up then, okay?
Got any problems?

If you do, you can talk to Deidre
or you can talk to me.

-Thank you for your time.
-Ms. Stewart.

Bortoli.
-No, Bordino.

Whatever.

I was just wondering if we can
change my act, Jodie Cooper's,

-to the last act of the night.
-The short answer to that is no.

No. But Jodie isn't just--
Ms. Stewart, please.

Look, you'll be crazy
if you don't put her up.

Jodie isn't just a great singer.
She's fantastic.

She's the best act you've got here.

You'll be crazy
if you don't put Jodie Cooper last.

She'll cream all these acts, man.

Where's the suspense in the show
if you put Jodie up the front?

Your viewers will be turning off
in droves. Trust me. I know. I watch TV.

You're really full of it, Bortoli,
aren't you?

Hey, it was only a suggestion.

From someone who doesn't know
the first thing about television.

I know that my act, Jodie Cooper,

is the best act you've had here
in a long, long time.

You do, do you?

Yes. And I would appreciate it
if you do put her last because--

Yeah. Okay, okay, okay, okay.
She's last on the list,

but don't bother me with one more thing
or you're out of here.

Capiche?

Capiche.

Capiche.

Could you tell me
where the aerobic try-outs are?

Just upstairs.
-Thank you.

This is it then.

-Okay. Just relax and you'll be fine.
-I don't feel fine.

Well, it's not as if you haven't done
this thing a million times already, right?

Yeah, but I've never been judged before.

Just keep on telling yourself
that the job is yours and that's it.

-Got nothing to worry about.
-Yeah, all right.

Okay?

You do love me, don't you?

Of course I do.

You'll be fine, okay? Good luck.

Settle down. Settle down.
You, Deloraine's office.

Miss Milano, you're coming with me,
sweetheart.

Bill, Yola, get any last night?
No, I didn't think so, Bill.

Whee!

Ooh.

Very untidy, Miss Milano.

"Which guy type is right for you?"

Ooh.

Anybody here?

Excuse me. I don't wanna intrude.

I-I was just wondering,

is there any chance of getting
a credit at the end of the show?

Nothing big, just something saying,

"Jodie Cooper,
courtesy of Bordino Management"?

I don't care what it says.
I'm not singing that crap.

Hey. Hey, man. What's going on here?

-They want me to sing some MOR song.
-What? What are you talking about?

Look, I only sing my song
or I'm out of here.

-Is there a problem here, Bortoli?
-Yes, there is. And his name's Bordino.

It's nothing
we can't handle, Ms. Stewart.

I hope so.

Look, I'm telling you now,
you fix it or I'm out of here.

Well, it says here that you're singing
"Bésame Mucho."

-Yeah, well, I never agreed to that.
-Well, guess again, Jodie.

It's listed here
as one of your three choices.

Really?

Look, I had to put something on the form.

You know, they asked me
for a selection of the songs.

-Hey, that's all I could think about.
-What's wrong with one of my songs?

This is a mass-appeal show, Jodie.

People wanna hear songs
they can hum along to.

If you wanna sing one of your own songs,

I suggest you try busking
in a shopping mall.

-Okay. I will!
-Hold on a minute.

Just relax, okay? Ms. Stewart.

Look, I don't wanna hear anything
you have to say, Bortoli.

I've already done you a favor. Now fix it.

Jodie.

Jodie, look.

Forget it, Con.
I'm not singing that old-fart song.

I mean, there's nothing wrong with it.
I like it.

Well, you sing it then.

Look, Jodie, I just wanna do
the right thing by you.

Sure. Look, I wore this stupid outfit
for you, but that's it.

-You know, it's just not me.
-Aw, come on, Jodie.

Look, man, when you sing this song,
"Bésame Mucho," you make it you.

You sell the song.
Come on. You're gonna win this show.

You're gonna get that audience, man.
They're gonna be knocked off their feet.

They're gonna be
lying in the aisles, Jodie.

Come on. You got to use that beauty
and talent of yours.

We're gonna do it together.
Hey, look at me.

You're gonna win, all right?

Okay. Take your legs wide.

March out. Right, left, marching on.

Four more.

Four, three, take it down.
Big breath, slow.

Up. Two. Three.

Easy walk here.
One, bend down. Where are we?

Two, use it. Three.

Four, kick it out.

One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, walk, kick.

Bend down. Where are we? Down, hold.

Kick ball, one, two, three, turn. Go back.

Again. Move it.

Grapevine. Take it up.
Arms wide open. Where are we?

Let's move it. Again.
Two more. Come on, pick it up.

You want it. Move it. Come on, pick it up.

Last time, again. Here.

Arm back, yeah. One, two, three, four.

-How'd you go?
-Stuffed. I made a fool of myself.

-Hey, it doesn't matter.
-Yes, it does, and you know it does.

Danielle?

Danielle?

Danielle, what's the matter with you?
You're getting all upset over this job.

-It's only a job.
-Do you still wanna be with a loser?

-Who said you're a loser?
-Up against Jodie, I am.

She can do whatever she wants.
Music, brains, she's got it.

Where am I gonna end up?
As a checkout chick in a supermarket?

Can you tell me
where all of this is coming from?

It's coming from you.
You pushed me into it.

I thought you wanted this job.
What are you saying?

To please you, so you wouldn't think
you were stuck with some bimbo.

I don't think that,
so don't know why you're saying it.

I can't compete with Jodie,
and you make me feel I have to.

I'm sorry, okay? I--
I never meant to push you like that.

I really tried,
but I just wasn't good enough.

It doesn't matter, okay?
I like you for what you are.

I don't care about some stupid job,
all right?

-Really?
-Yeah, really.

Gosh! Where were you?

Under a desk for the last half hour.
Thanks for the warning.

What could I do?
I thought Southgate caught you.

Yeah. Well, I had to wait
until he went to the toilet

so I could make another copy
of the exam for you.

-Here it is.
-I don't want it.

-What do you mean?
-I don't need it. I get A's for History.

Come on. Let's go. Quick.

One, two, three.

Bésame

Bésame mucho

Each time I cling to your kiss

I hear music divine

Bésame mucho

You're right.
She has got a great voice.

Yeah, of course.

This girl's a star, mate.

-And she's all yours?
-Not saying all mine, you know.

We're close, you know.

Never knew this thrill before

Whoever thought
I'd be holding you close to me

Whispering you're--

I can't do it.
-Sorry?

What are you talking about,
you can't do this?

Look at this dress.

I mean, listen to the song.
I'm not gonna do it.

-No, you're looking great.
-I'm sorry.

-Forget it.
-Hey. Will you-- Come on, Jodie.

Jodie. Come on, Jodie.

-Well, Bortoli?
-Yes.

Hope you've got some good ideas up
your sleeve, 'cause I'm now one act short.

What are you gonna do about it?

Act number eight was Sally Richards.

What did you think of her singing,
Bernard?

Poor, sad Sally. Dear girl,
intonation is essential for a singer,

and I detect in your work
a tragic lack of it.

You're very flat on top notes
and too sharp on lower register,

and the middle offers us no voice at all.

Perhaps you should choose
another occupation altogether.

Have you tried cat stroking
or picket fence painting?

Bernard, can we have your mark, please?

A lavish six.
-Six?

Generous, yes.

-Bubbles, can you improve on six?
-Barry, I certainly can.

- I totally disagree with Bernard.
! What's new?

I thought you looked very sweet
in your Annie Oakley outfit.

You really tried to sell the song,
and you really did a very good job--

What about her pitch, for God's sake?

Well, there were a few minor fluctuations,
but you can put that down to nerves.

Poor thing.

-I hope Jodie was better than she was.
-Of course she is.

Well, they better hurry up,
'cause I gotta get dinner on.

It's getting late.
Maybe she's on next week.

-She'll be on. She will.
-Fruit?

Hello.
-Hi, you two.

-Hi.
-Hi, Nick.

Come and watch Jodie on TV.

Yes, you better hurry up.
It's gonna be soon.

Yeah. Okay. In a second.

-Do you want something to drink?
-No.

Hey, we can watch Jodie.
It doesn't bother me.

-No, I-- I don't really want to.
-I'm serious.

It's fine.
Besides, I wanna watch her anyway.

-Come on.
-Is it okay with you?

Yes.

-Are you sure?
-Positive. Come on.

-Sit down. Sit down.
-Want some food?

Here we go.

Thank you. Welcome back to Star Quest.

Our final act of the evening
is vocalist Con Bordino.

Con's going to sing that
wonderful old hit, "Sway."

-What?
-What?

When marimba rhythms start to play

Dance with me
Make me sway

Like a lazy ocean hugs the shores

Hold me close

Sway me more

Like a flower bending in the breeze

Bend with me
Sway with ease

When we dance you have a way with me
Stay with me

Sway with me

Other dancers may be on the floor

Dear, but my eyes will see only you

Bugger's not half bad, is he?

Only you have that magic technique

My God.

When we sway I go weak

I can hear the sounds of violins

Long before it begins

Make me thrill as only you know how

Sway me smooth
Sway me now

Sway me now

I don't believe this.

-I didn't know Con could sing.
-He's great. He's great.

You call that singing?

Welcome back to Star Quest.
Well, act number nine was Con Bordino.

Con, how long have you been performing?

Not really long, actually.
Just a couple of hours. Joke.

For what it's worth, I was quite impressed
with your performance.

-Thank you.
-And, Bernard, it brought back

a lot of memories for me
because I actually sang that song

at the old Silver Spade Room
at the Chevron Hotel.

We should do a spot together. Sway with--

I just want to say hello to Ruby,
the guys at Hartley, Effie.

Bubbles, what did you think
of Con's singing tonight?

Well, actually, I thought
you were marvelous.

I thoroughly enjoyed your performance.

I thought that you looked terrific
swaying in the night just for me.

A young Dean Martin, I think.
And I think you'll go far.

I've given you 23 points.

I love you. I think you're great.

I love this woman, guys.

Well, Con, the score to beat is 40.

Forty.
-Yes. Have we?

Will Con Bordino succeed? Bernard?

To preserve sanity
you fortunately didn't con me.

I preferred your cheerio calls
to your singing,

but I have a list of don'ts
and do's for you,

just in case you might be serious
about a career.

Don't point, don't look down,
don't look insecure.

So why are you pointing to me for?

I'm reminding you
of the action, young man.

-Okay. Sorry.
-He's going to be difficult, this child.

-Okay. I'm sorry.
-Do move with definition.

Do look positive, do breathe, do smile,
do learn to sing.

-Do give the trouser to St. Mason de Brie.
-Sing?

Do give the frock
to the Mardi Gras committee,

do something about your voice,

do something about your action
and your ability. You do have potential.

Are you sure you haven't missed anything?

-There's a few more notes here.
-Okay.

-I have foolscap pages. I've given you 16.
-Sixteen.

You could have done better than that,
Bernard. Thanks a lot, mate.

Well, Con, that's a score of 39.

-That must be so close.
-You win some, you lose some.

It doesn't matter.

Well, that makes our winner tonight
act three, Claire Fisher.

And of course we'll be seeing more
of Claire Fisher next week

when she returns to the show.

However, our producers'
encouragement award of $500

did tonight go to act number nine,
Con Bordino.

-Bravo.
-Congratulations.

Singing lessons.
-Take that all back, guys.

Enjoy yourself.
-Take it all back.

Well, that's all for this week
from Star Quest.

We hope we'll catch you next time around.

-Good night, everyone.
-Good night.

-Well done. Very good.
-Thank you.

The king of do's and don'ts.

Thank you, Barry. See you next week.

Good night, sweetheart.

-Happy birthday. Have a lovely night.
-Thanks.

I will. I will.
-Good to see you.

Come to collect your money already,
have you?

No. I just wanted to thank you.

You know, you didn't have to do that
for me. That's cool.

Well, I thought you deserved something
after all you've been through.

Besides, you've got a good voice,
not to mention milking the camera.

Well...

Ever thought of taking it further?
-… No, not really.

You know, I'm more
into the management side.

-That's where the money is.
-I like your style. Here.

Well, give me a call sometime.
We'll talk about your career.

-Yeah. I think I'll do that, actually.
-Make sure you do, Bordino.

Hey, you got it right this time?

Con never showed up again today.

Well, maybe he's studying.
We've got a history exam today.

I don't think he's ever coming back.

Well, maybe if somebody asked him to.
-Yeah, Nick.

Yeah, Nick.

Hey, what are you looking at me for?
I'm not stopping him from doing anything.

Come on. Someone has to make
the first move.

-Why don't you do it?
-Come on.

I've got exams to think about.

I think I'm running late.
-Nick. Nick. Nick.

Are you coming or what? Thank you.

Come on. Let's go.
-Keep your shirt on.

Good luck with history.

-Wait.
-Bye.

You think the boys will resolve it?

I reckon they're going to be friends
long after the girlfriends are forgotten.

Really? So you think that women just
complicate men's lives. Is that it?

No, no, no. That's not what I meant.

I meant, look, these teenage romances,
on again and off again--

-On again, off again.
-That's right, you know.

Who can be bothered?
Who can keep up with it?

Can you? No.

Hey, it's Julio Iglesias.

Well done, Bordino.
Never knew you had it in you.

Yeah, typical wog voice. Smooth as grease.

Make all the fat mamas cry.
I give you two points.

- Shut your face.
. Very touchy.

Is that because Julio got a better mark
than you ever could have perhaps?

I thought
you were beautiful, Con.

-I think you're beautiful too, miss.
-Aw. Thank you.

Okay, can I have a bit of quiet, please?
We've gotta get this test underway.

How are you?

Look, I'm really sorry about
walking out on you the other night.

That's all right.

Things just started catching up
with me and I got really confused.

Con, I don't blame you if you hate me.
-No. I don't hate you, you know.

I just wish you would have told me
a bit earlier, that's all.

-I'm really sorry.
-It's okay. That's cool.

Listen, a client has to tell their manager
everything and anything, all right?

Quiet, please.

So does that mean
you're still interested in managing me?

Of course I'm interested, mate.
We're gonna go straight to the top.

Quiet, please. Turn your papers over.

You've got 45 minutes.
Your time starts now.

Good luck.

All right. That's one minute, everyone.

Hey, hey!
Where's my pizza, mate? Hey.

We'll see who's shouting
when the marks come out, all right?

I think I did pretty well
so you better make mine a supreme.

-No anchovies.
-I wouldn't be too sure if I was you.

Peter, can I have a word with you, please?

-I'm actually a bit busy now, miss.
-Now.

-What happened?
-Not much.

Does she know about the exam or what?

-She wanted to know why I failed again.
-You failed?

Yep. Didn't write a word.

You had the exam, you knew the answers.

-No, I didn't.
-You were gonna check them at home.

I told you. I hate history.
-So, all that risk was for nothing?

-You tell me.
-I was kind of hoping you'd pass.

Well, look, I got a reputation
to keep up.

Besides, I do what I want,
whether you like it or not.

-Anyway, I got the wrong exam paper.
-What?

I got the wrong paper.
-I thought you checked it.

Well, she must have changed it, okay,
because I didn't recognize a word today.

Yeah, it's a big joke, isn't it?

Sorry.

What are you doing tonight?

I don't know. What did you have in mind?

Well, anything but study.

It was the best feeling
I've ever had in my life,

being on that stage with those three--

-How are you doing, Danni?
-All right.

-Hi.
-Hi.

-So how'd you go in the exam?
-All right, I think.

Yeah. Me too.

-Are we going?
-Hang on a minute.

I'm going. Are you coming or what?

Are you two guys ever gonna talk again?

Yeah. If we can talk then you guys
should be able to talk.

Anyway, I got to bail. I'll see you later.

Yeah. I'm coming. Hang on. See you later.

Very smart. Yeah. Thanks.

They're not stupid? Women.

Yeah. So, you got your face on TV?
-Yeah.

Not bad. You never told me you could sing.

You like?

Well, if you think that's something, mate,
you should hear me in the shower.

It's bad enough
I saw you on TV, man.

What makes you think
I wanna see you in the shower?

Yeah. Well…

Anyway, when are you gonna
come around sometime?

My little sister misses you, mate.

-Effie?
-Yeah. We all miss you, man.

I might come around tomorrow,
you know. See what happens, you know.

What do you mean,
maybe you see what happens?

-Are you gonna come or not?
-I'm a busy man now, Nick,

with all this career stuff.

You wouldn't believe
what's happened to me.

Yeah, that's right.
I wouldn't believe what's happened.

You know that show? I won 500 bucks.

Other dancers
May be on the floor

Look, man. Save it
for when you're in the shower.

Dear, but my eyes
Could see only you

Stop, Con.

Only you have that magic technique

Altogether now.

When we sway I go weak

Woo!

Hear the sounds of violins

Long before it begins

Make me thrill as only you know how

Sway me smooth
Sway me now

When marimba rhythms start to play

Dance with me
Make me sway

Like a lazy ocean hugs the shores

Hold me close
Sway me more

Like a flower bending in the breeze

Bend with me
Sway with me

When we dance you have a way with me

Stay with me
Sway with me

Other dancers may be on the floor

Dear, but my eyes will see only you

Only you have that magic technique

When we sway I go weak

I can hear the sounds of violins

Long before it begins

Make me thrill as only you know how