Hart of Dixie (2011–2015): Season 3, Episode 8 - Miracles - full transcript

The Wilkes are strangers.
Families are hard.

But what if the
Wilkes are amazing?

The reason that we're so much
alike is because we're cousins.

The way it works with family
is you get out what you put in

and you've put in nothing.

It just hurts knowing
that I can't be a part of it.

Well, maybe the Wilkes
will come around.

LYNLY: I might have made a teensy
mistake and told Lavon we're together.

All that time you're looking me
in the eye and didn't tell me.

Lynly and I,
we're not going away.

So, you can bury your head in the sand
or you can grow up and you can accept it.



I was letting the past hold me
back, but no more.

There's something that I really
need to show you.

Just to confirm, that is the
woman that you were engaged to.

Oh, my Lord.

And.... of course.

Hey, Vivian.

Don't you wear shoes?

Funny story. Joel's grandmother's visiting
and she needed hair spray right away.

And the Dixie Stop
isn't open yet, so...

Hilarious.

Right?

Hey, how are you?

Did you happen to get
those apology balloons I sent?

- And do you accept?
- Yes and no.



No, you didn't get the balloons?
I have a receipt.

No, you are not forgiven for
crashing my son's birthday party

- ...and lying to my family.
- Oh. Okay. Well, that's too bad.

Joel's grandmother,
she is here Hanukkah,

and I bet I know
what you're thinking,

- Hanukkah already?
- Clearly you don't.

Yes, I know, it is early.
Crazy early, right?

So, his grandfather died
just last year,

and Grandma Sylvie came
all the way to BlueBell

to celebrate because
family is so very, very

important, as is forgiveness.

Please hurry. I beg you.
I'll bag myself.

And so she's cooking this very large
Hanukkah dinner tomorrow night,

and I was thinking
that maybe you

and some of the other Wilkes
could stop by.

Put all this weird stuff
behind us.

Dr. Hart, we're not
gonna put it behind us.

Ever. Let it go.

Just the hair spray.

LAVON: That's a lot
of pancakes there.

Yes. I'm very hungry.

So excited for
the Harvest Festival.

And Danielle Bradbery's
playing?

Huge score, Lavon.

You're bringing those to George,
aren't you?

He's in the carriage house.

Lavon, George and I
are a couple now.

I hope you'll start
accepting that.

ZOE:
Hey, guys.

Uh... that breakfast is for people
who actually live here.

Oh, come on, I've been up
for hours, and I'm starving.

Also, I need a favor.

Okay, so Joel's
grandma, Sylvie...

Sweet, old,
recently widowed Sylvie...

she wants to make Hanukkah
dinner tomorrow night,

but Joel and I, we don't have
a kitchen, or a dining room,

so I was hoping that maybe
we could have it here.

- Pretty please.
- No problem. Hanukkah dinner.

- Cool.
- Oh, thank you.

LYNLY: Sorry to be so ignorant, but
what does Hanukkah celebrate exactly?

It's the festival of lights.

Mm. Sounds beautiful.
But why the lights?

To honor the Jews'
triumph against oppression.

Nice. By whom?

Hmm?

- (chuckles) You have no idea, do you?
- Please.

There was the oil
that burned for eight days.

There were Maccabees involved.
Potato pancakes.

(singsongy):
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel.

WADE: Mmm... (door closes) Pancakes.

- Yum.
- Anyway...

You all are invited
to Hanukkah dinner.

Even you, Wade, because,
for whatever reason, Joel loves you.

Aw, I love him, too.

Ow!

I mean... wow.

Hanukkah.

(chuckles): Wade, you
best see a dentist, man.

What? You best see a shrink
'cause y'all are crazy.

I didn't even want that stupid apple.
I want pancakes. That's what I want.

Hey, uh...

Yeah.

(Brick exhales loudly)

Daddy... What are you doing?

Oh, I'm doing exactly what I have
been doing since we saw Shelby.

I'm freaking out.

Okay, listen, I know that seeing
her condition was unsettling.

(laughs):
Oh, unsettling?

There have been cataclysmic earthquakes
that have been less unsettling.

I'm having a baby!

A baby. At my age.

I have to call my banker
and liquidate some assets.

Yeah, 'cause Shelby, she's
going to need a-a safer car

and a, oh, and a very,
very, very good nanny.

- Maybe a house.
- (gasps): Classic Shelby.

No one's even spoken to her, and she's
already finagled her way into a house.

No, I-I intend to speak
with her today.

Oh, no, Daddy,
you can't.

Had you not seen the light at the last
minute, you'd be married to her right now.

Oh, she does, she...
does have an effect on me.

Listen, you are to go straight
to your office. Don't even look up.

Okay? I will figure out if Shelby's
spawn is actually your baby

and my future sibling,

and we'll determine a course
of action from there.

It's going to
be fine, Daddy.

Okay? Remember.
Straight to the office.

I feel like Lavon is
definitely coming around.

Still, we should probably avoid
the carriage house for a while.

Yeah, I think we should, too,
because the last thing we want

to have happen is him bust in
on us while we're, uh...

- Lemon, knock! We are occupied!
- And naked.

Yes, yes, it's nothing I haven't
seen before. Hello, Lynly.

George, there are matters more
important than your carnal pleasures.

Shelby's back, she bought Fancie's, and
she's about seven months pregnant.

- No...!
- Who's Shelby?

Brick's ex-girlfriend.
Of about seven months.

Ooh...

And Daddy's about to fall back
into her clutches.

And since Shelby is your fault,
you get to help me prevent this.

- Wait, how is she George's fault?
- Shelby and I dated first.

So, your ex-fiancée's father
dated your ex-girlfriend?

Yes, right before he started
dating Wade's ex-wife.

It's a small town... catch up.

And seven months ago,
Shelby did not have the money

to buy a fancy restaurant
like Fancie's, so...

- She's got a sugar daddy.
- Well, let's hope so.

A sugar daddy
with very potent sperm.

I'll speak to Frank,
see what I can dig up.

I'll find out about
the Fancie's sale.

I'll be the sexy,
wisecracking sidekick.

We'll rendezvous at noon.

Okay, so we got the brisket.
Obviously...

There you are,
Zoe, sweetheart.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Oh...

Thank you for saving my updo.
I know it was a lot to ask.

Oh, no, no, not at all.

- You want something to eat?
- Oh, no, you know what? I-I can't.

I have to rush to the office.
I just came to say hi.

Oh, a doctor.

Just saying the word
fills me with pride.

My late husband and I
wanted Joel to become one.

I was short-listed for the National
Book Award, but, you know...

(laughs): So, what are
you two up to today?

We're planning our menu for Hanukkah
dinner, which is going to be great.

It is such an honor
to eat at the mayor's.

And I am so excited to meet
all of Joely's friends,

like the wonderful Wade
he keeps talking about.

Oh, and, Zoe,

I am so excited
to meet your family.

- Of course you'll invite them, right?
- Yeah, I did, but they're not coming.

I just completely and utterly
blew it with the Wilkes.

But it's done, and they're
never going to accept me now.

Zoe, angel, this is Hanukkah.

- Hanukkah is a time for miracles.
- Oh, no, here she goes.

Look, Nana, Zoe does not need
to hear your whole spiel.

Hey, hey, no.

I think it is very important that we are
reminded of the meaning of Hanukkah.

Hanukkah is a time to expect
the unexpected.

A time for reuniting
with people who matter.

Brick Breeland.

I was wondering when I was
going to run into you.

- Shelby. Hi.
- I have huge news.

Huge. Guess.

Uh, wh... I-I don't know.

I bought Fancie's and
I'm turning it into a cabaret.

No words, huh?

You are as adorable and as sexy
as the day you dumped me.

Which you were
right to do.

No hard feelings,
I was selfish then.

I'm really working
on myself.

We have got to catch up.

You, me, Harvest Festival,
tomorrow?

Yeah.

Bye!

Ooh.

SYLVIE: Hanukkah is a time for old friends
to show up when you need them the most.

Yeah, you know,
my tooth healed all on its own,

so you can go ahead and cancel,
uh, that appointment.

(groans softly)

Still scared of the dentist,
you wimp?

Tansy?

Wasn't there something about
the Maccabees and war?

Sure. All that, too.

But the point is that Hanukkah
is a magical time.

Your family will come around.

Thank you, Sylvie,

but when it comes to the Wilkes,
I don't think a miracle's coming my way.

The Jews thought the same thing
about the oil in the temple.

Eight days it lasted.

BRICK: Hello, Zoe.
Don't you look nice?

Patient for you in exam three.
Squirrel bite.

- Why can't you take it?
- Oh, you're gonna want this patient.

Why?

It's Brando Wilkes.

(whispers): Brando Wilkes?
My great uncle?

Or my second cousin?
My relative is here?

(gasps)

Hanukkah miracles do exist.

Thanks.

Yeah. Maybe they do.

(laughs)

(car horn honks)

(seagulls calling)

(birds singing)

Season 3, Episode 8
"Miracles"

Vivian would maim me
if she knew I was here.

Well, luckily the squirrel
beat her to it.

You know, Harley was my brother?

I am horrified to admit
that I didn't realize that.

But you do look a lot like him.

Your father was a great man,
but whoa, terrible card player.

We used to play during
his lunch break.

52 years ago this very day,

I took my winnings over to the
Harvest Festival, met my wife.

Oh, is that why you're in BlueBell
today, your anniversary?

No, Margaret May died
two years ago last month.

Oh.
Miss her every day.

But I'm keeping myself busy,
taking art classes,

seniors' slow pitch softball,

though Vivian's always
getting on me to be careful.

Well, Vivian may have
a point there.

So, just a tetanus shot
and you're all set.

You're good at this.

Your daddy would've
been proud.

Zoe...

...Keep trying.

Vivian and the rest might
come around... one day.

What if you came around?

Will you have lunch with me
a-and Joel and his grandma?

Please?
(chuckles)

I won't tell Vivian
if you don't.

Mm-mm.

(chuckles)

Okay, pal, your new
appointment is at 3:00.

You just bought yourself
another couple hours,

but I'm gonna be following you around,
make sure you go to that dentist. Just...

We need to sit on
this bench for a while.

Why? Are we casing the joint?

(chuckles) No.

I'm saving up for my own
chair in a beauty shop, so...

Scott, Scooter, you
know, my boyfriend...

McGreevy...

Hooked me up with an amazing
opportunity to earn some extra cash.

Which is what exactly?

You're about to see.
Hi, there.

Are you Agnes
Butler-Hicket?

Yes, I am. Who are you?

Please don't be mad.
This is for you.

You've, um,
been served.

Guess your husband needs
that divorce.

Maybe it's a blessing.

How dare you?!
Who do you think you are?!

Now, this is none
of your business!

I know. I...

- Run!
- Oh, yeah.

This is an incredible
opportunity!

- Come on, Dolly!
- Get out of here!

Run, girl!
You get!

Hi, guys.

I have a special guest.

Uh, Sylvie,
this is Brando Wilkes.

- Brando, you remember Joel.
- Uh, yeah, hi.

- Oh, oh, hi. Hi.
- SYLVIE: Wilkes.

Well, I knew someone in your
family would come to their senses.

Hanukkah, miracles. Sit.

It is so, so good
to see you, Brando.

Brando, huh?

What a... unusual name.

Oh, my real name
is Vernon.

They call me Brando on account
of my Marlon Brando impressions.

(quietly):
How did this happen?

He came into my office.

I think he's the first
Wilkes to actually like me.

(bad Brando impersonation): "I'll
make you an offer you can't refuse."

Wow, that is... that is...
That's good.

Don Corleone, right here in Alabama.
That is remarkable.

Hey, you both like The Godfather.
What are the odds?

Hey, do you know that
you both take art classes?

- SYLVIE: Oh, I'm not very good.
- Oh, I'm awful.

Oh, well, it keeps me young.

BRANDO: You don't need
anything to keep you young.

(chuckles, mutters)

Uh, what is that?
What is that with the hair?

Flirting.

Grandma Sylvie is putting
the mack in Maccabees.

(Brando and Sylvie chuckle)

- Babs and Edward came up empty.
- (sighs) So did Frank.

And there's no sugar daddy.

So I guess this means
it's my daddy's baby.

Yeah, but Brick
is a responsible adult.

I'm sure that he can be
the father to this child

without having to get
back together with Shelby.

Hey. Guess who I ran into.

Well, Lord help us.
What did she have to say?

Oh, she said I was adorable
and handsome as ever.

No, Daddy, about
the baby.

Oh. Well, i-it didn't come up.

But I think we all know
the answer to that question.

I'll verify it tomorrow.

We have a date for
the Harvest Festival.

Uh, I... think that is
a very bad idea.

After an afternoon with her, who knows
what kind of promises you'll make.

Why is she here?

Look, look, I appreciate your
concern, but I'm a grown man,

and I expect
to be treated that way.

So before I get angry, go.
Get out of here. Now, go on. Get.

I have a gift to wrap.

Yeah.

(quietly): You know, if you really
want to get through to him,

you can do the unthinkable.

(groans)

Call Grandma Bettie.

(whimpers)

SYLVIE: This is so interesting seeing
this town through your eyes, Brando.

I mean, there's so much history.

Do you know that Brando met his dearly
departed wife right in that hay maze?

- 52 years we were together.
- Well, I was with my Jerry 55.

Oh. I've been lonely
without her,

but, you know, for the first
time in a long while,

I'm not feeling
so lonely.

That is so sweet.

You know what? I think it's
about time to wrap things up.

Uh, Nana, if we're gonna bake rugelach
tomorrow, we should go to the store.

Well, you know, actually,
I thought, uh, Brando and I

could take a little walk and then maybe
hit bingo at the Rec Center tonight.

That would be divine.

Uh-oh.

"Of all the gin joints
in the world..."

Uh, Vivian, I know what you must
be thinking.

You said you'd be home
three hours ago.

When you didn't show up,
I presumed you'd been kidnapped.

I see now I was right.

It was an amazing coincidence, actually.
After I ran into you this morning,

Brando came into my office,
and I invited him to lunch.

I-It was only lunch.

BRANDO: B-But now I'm staying for Bingo.
I've got a date.

With me.

I am Sylvie Stephens,
Joel's grandmother.

Pleasure to meet any
relative of my Zoe.

Oh, Sylvie, I'm sure you're lovely,
but, um, Brando,

did you forget? Loretta June,
her piano recital.

Oh, gosh. That doesn't
even ring a bell.

Uh, must have forgotten.

Zoe.

Joel.

"I'll be back."

His Schwarzenegger
is phenomenal.

Sylvie, I hope
we meet again one day.

VIVIAN:
I can't believe you.

Manipulating the heart of an old man just
so you can get my family to accept you?

How selfish can you be?

- But I wasn't. This just...
- Stay away from us. I mean it.

(sighs)

All right, Wade,
moment of truth.

I can't do it.
I hate the noise.

I hate the music they play
in the waiting rooms.

I hate the-the pain.
(sighs)

I hate the fact they ask you
questions, then expect you

to answer while their hand's
halfway down your throat.

I've been having some trouble
sleeping lately, on account

of the new job,
so the doctor gave me pills.

For anxiety.

Tansy, you do realize a job which requires
you to medicate probably isn't a good job.

It's the worst. I hate it.

There, I said it.
But it's good money.

And Scott had to pull
a lot of strings.

So quit.

Wade, how many of those did you just take?
You're only supposed to take one.

Oh, I did take one.
Plus two for good luck.

So, Bertram's paternity
has been confirmed?

Well, Grandma Breeland, not
confirmed but highly suspected.

And this... Shelby,
she's everything I've heard?

LEMON: Oh, she's a materialistic,
selfish flake,

and Daddy is a gelatinous pile
of goo around her.

So, they have a
date tomorrow,

Grandma, which is why
we must speak to him tonight.

Put up a united front.

Would it be too much
for you to...

threaten to cut him out
of your will if he sees her?

Consider it handled.

(giggles)

JOEL: Lavon, it is so great of you
to let us use your kitchen.

- Thank you so much.
- Well, it's my first Hanukkah.

And plus Burt Reynolds
loves fried potatoes, so...

Uh...

(quietly):
Um, is she okay?

No. Thanks
to my meddling girlfriend.

What'd you do?

I tried to bring joy
to two seniors in need.

She set Sylvie up
with Brando Wilkes.

You pimped out Joel's nana
to get in with your family?

Look, I wanted to have lunch
with my uncle.

I didn't think that him and Sylvie
were gonna hit it off like they did.

But I'm glad that they did, because
she is lonely and needs connection.

Hey, my grandpa only died a year ago.
Sylvie's heart can't take any more pain.

- Who says she's in pain?
- Look at her.

She looks sad.

She looks very sad.

Maybe she's happily remembering

the lunch she had with
a very talented impressionist.

SYLVIE: I hope you
aren't arguing about me.

JOEL:
Oh, no. Not at all.

No, we were... we were arguing
about politics.

Mmm.

Health care. I'm pro.
Because I'm a doctor.

Like you wish Joel was.

SYLVIE: You know, I think
I should give you kids the night.

We can bake tomorrow.

What? No, no. Nana, come on.
Hang out with us.

We'll make dinner
and, um, see a movie?

Eh, you don't need your old nana
hanging around.

Besides, I had quite a day, and I think
I'm gonna go to senior bingo.

Oh, hey. Uh, I'll walk you out.

Well, bye, Nana.

Okay, fine, she's sad.
I'm sorry.

That's all right.

She'll have fun at senior bingo.
But, hey, promise me, from now on,

no more gentleman callers.

- No. I promise. Of course.
- Okay.

(phone chimes) Oh.

Hmm. Dash threw out
his back rehearsing

for his So You Think You
Can Dance audition video.

Be back in an hour.

Mother?

What is going on here?

Well, this is... this is
sort of an intervention.

We know that this Shelby problem
is beyond your control.

BRICK: Whoa, whoa.
There is no Shelby problem.

And my social life
is my own business.

Bertram, you are a Breeland.

Yet here you are,
flouncing around,

having illegitimate children
like some tacky Wilkes.

Precisely.

So that's the reason you're gonna
do the right thing by this child.

You're gonna marry that woman.

- What?!
- Mrs. Breeland...

- What is happening?
- BRICK: Well, well.

Well, for the first time in 50 years,
I agree with you, Mom.

Ha!

(chuckles)

Great. Doing good. Come on.

Sit right down.
Okay.

(chuckles)

Okay, cowboy, one more person
to serve and I'll get you home.

You are so nice to take care of me.

(chuckles) Thanks. We'll talk
when you're not hallucinating.

I'm not hallucinating.

I'm seeing the truth.

You are so kind.

You're the best
ex-wife I ever had.

Y-You shouldn't
be a process-erer.

Server-erer.

Process servicer.

Uh... I'll be back
in five minutes.

Do not move from this bench.

(chuckles) Why would I?
I love this bench.

Do you realize that someone,
somewhere, made this bench?

Okay... Come on, Dolly.

And that light.

It's beautiful.

I just want to walk
into the light.

(crickets chirping softly)

- Zoe.
- Oh!

Oh, Brando.
What are you doing here?

Loretta June didn't have
a piano recital tonight.

Vivian made it up to drag
me away from your family.

Well, she really, really
doesn't like me, huh?

Well, she's been going
through a hard time lately.

And let's face it, you're
an easy scapegoat.

But she's taking
this all too far.

On behalf of my
family, I apologize.

Thank you.
That means a lot.

But I-I'm not here
solely to atone.

I'm...

I'm looking for Sylvie.

Oh, Brando, I don't think
that's a good idea.

- I-I promised Joel.
- What you did today,

connecting two lost souls,

well, it's just
like Sylvie said,

a miracle, Zoe.

She's playing bingo
at the Rec Center.

Oh.

Maybe Hanukah is
Jewish Valentine's Day.

Sure. Why not?

You know, it makes about
as much sense as the dreidel.

(laughs)

♪

Wade?

Hey!

I am in the best mood.

So, my uncle came
into the office today.

He had a squirrel bite,
but that's beside...

You...

There.

♪

♪ (groans softly)

Oh, wow.

I'm guessing that dream last night
wasn't so much a dream.

Look... Zoe, I-I was
on Tansy's anxiety meds.

- I didn't mean to...
- Stop. I don't want to hear excuses.

I just want you to promise that
it will never, ever happen again.

- I'm with Joel. I am happy with Joel.
- I know.

Okay? And I am...
I'm very sorry.

Would you please
just not tell him?

He's a good guy, and, you know,
he and I are kind of pals now.

I will never tell him,
because nothing happened.

I get it.

Nothing happened.
Nothing at all.

That's where you
disappeared to last night?

- (clicks tongue) Oh, Wade!
- Well, it was the pills, not me.

You told me the pills
made you see the truth.

But that was
the pills talking, too.

You know, they're-they're wily.

Lucky you ran into me when you did,
'cause you need a good talking to.

(quiet chuckle)

♪

ZOE:
Hey!

- Where's Sylvie?
- Wha...?

I thought she was with you... she was
supposed to meet me here a half hour ago.

Huh. That's weird.
Maybe she slept in.

Sylvie Stephens has woken up
promptly at 5:30 a.m.

every morning since the
Kennedy Administration.

Look, I'm sure she's fine.
It's BlueBell...

what kind of trouble
could she get into?

Dr. Hart, I just heard from my cousin
Emmy that Brando was out all night.

- What? Weird!
- My family's freakin' out.

He's never disappeared
like this.

I'll tell you what, I'll head to the
bed-and-breakfast,

you check the rest of the
fair, okay?

Yes, I... and I will...

Vivian, wait up!

Whoa, so Brick
is gonna propose?

Looks like it.
Poor guy. Whew!

Question - if Shelby's so nutso,
why did you date her?

Well, someone told me to go sow
my wild oats, so I sowed 'em.

- Hey, Daisy.
- Don't you smile at me.

And, you, be careful.

Don't tell me...
you dated her, too?

It's a small town.
Yeah. So tiny.

Yeah, I'm sure this is
totally innocent, you know?

Brando and Sylvie were sweet... you
should have seen them together.

I don't recall
asking your opinion.

(ringtone plays) Oh.

Ooh, that's Joel.
Maybe he found them.

Okay. Bad news... They are not
at the bed-and-breakfast.

But good news... they did
both sleep there last night.

Okay, maybe
that's also bad news.

My grandfather doesn't need
to get involved

with a woman
who is leaving tomorrow.

You're the one that lied and
made up some fictional recital.

Look, Brando found me... what was
I supposed to do, ignore him?

Why not? You seemed to be able
to ignore us for two years.

Okay, that hurt a little.

(sighs):
You know...

Why don't we just go check
the hay maze, and not speak.

I think the opening of my cabaret
should be "Come to the Cabaret."

Unless you think
that's too on the nose.

Oh, no, no. I could do
something contemporary.

SHELBY: I've been workin'
on my twerkin'. Oh!

Oh! Hey,

I think you can do whatever
you put your mind to.

You are such a gem,
you know that?

Which is why I want
to share some news.

Well, and-and I am
prepared to hear it.

I'm sure you didn't notice,
since I'm carrying so small,

(whispers):
but... I'm pregnant.

What?

Wow!

Oh, congratulations!

I am positive that having a baby
is gonna make me such a better person.

- Am I glowing?
- Positively radiant.

Yeah. And just out
of curiosity...

- Who's the lucky guy?
- Well...

I am sure this is gonna come
as quite a shock, but...

♪

Hey!

(soft groan) You guys should have called.
Vivian's very worried.

(chuckles)

Seriously?
What were you thinking?

Of all the women in all the world, you
had to find the nearest relation to her?

- Oh, we're not related.
- Not yet, dear.

VIVIAN: Is anyone else besides
me gonna take this seriously?

You two are behaving
irresponsibly and recklessly.

Vivian Wilkes,
that is enough.

I know you're going
through something,

and I'm sorry
Charles left,

but you got to stop taking
his betrayal out on everyone else.

Ooh.

I shouldn't
have said that.

I'll handle this.
You two resume canoodling.

Ah.

Uh, just wait for me
to leave first.

Hey, you wanna bite of...? You wanna...?
No. Yeah, see, you'll get...

- George Tucker, how cute are you!
- Shelby!

Shelby, Lynly.
Lynly, Shelby.

Great, now everyone
has met. Great.

I have heard so,
so much about you.

None of our dirty secrets,
I hope.

Kiddin'.
(laughs)

Lynly, you're adorable.
Love that top.

We'll exchange shopping secrets.
And y'all got to come

to the opening of my cabaret;
it's gonna blow your mind!

(clears throat)
So, is there any woman today

we're gonna run into
that you haven't dated?

Like that lady there,
selling marmalade

(George chuckles)

Yeah, that's hilarious.
Shut up. Kiss me.

Ew. No, no, no!

- My eyes!
- Wow, Lavon, hi!

This festival
is amazing.

- You did a fantastic job.
- Yes, you did. This is the best one ever.

I cannot wait
to see Danielle Bradbery.

- Yeah. It's gonna be great.
- Yeah.

- Well, I should, uh...
- Lavon, hey, hold on.

All right, look, you and I,
we're friends, and you and Lynly,

you guys are cousins, and Lynly
and I are good together, so...

All day we've run into
George's ex-girlfriends!

Really? That's how we're
defending this now?

Yes. Because you haven't
given them a second look.

My ex was always looking
over my shoulder,

wondering who was
better out there.

I don't feel that
with George.

He makes me feel safe.
Can't you see that?

(sighs)

(chuckles)

Grandma, you are making
an enormous mistake.

- Daddy will not be happy with Shelby.
- Well, of course he won't.

I'm aware that this Shelby

is just a shallow,
money-grabbin' harlot,

but thanks to you
and your hooligan sister,

enough shame has fallen
on this family.

(wry laugh) And marrying
Shelby's gonna help?

Oh, yes.

I'm gonna keep my eye
on this baby.

I intend to see that he
or she is raised right.

Bertram's new child
will not disappoint me.

- Third time's the charm.
- Grandma! (giggles)

Daddy, are you okay?

I am not the father.

Shelby was artificially
inseminated.

(gasps)

(laughs)

Is this some kind of joke?

You brought me down here,
filled me with hope

for the first time in years,
and then just whisked it away?

Mother, I am so sorry
if you are disappointed

that my ex-girlfriend is not carrying
my illegitimate love child.

And there is a sentence
I never thought I'd be saying.

LEMON: You know, it was wrong
to call you, and it won't happen again.

Oh!

Oh, I had such high hopes
for you,

my handsome son,
the doctor.

And you?

I thought I was molding you in my image.
Where did I go wrong?!

Don't y'all know that I'm up
all night, every night,

worrying sick about
what's gonna happen to you?

Don't you idiots know
that I love you?!

Oh! (crying)

(thudding, Lemon gasps)

(Bettie screaming, Lemon gasps)

Mother?!
(gasps)

You know who's single?
Thelma Price. You should date her.

The librarian? Hell, no.
She hates my guts.

And, besides, my dance card
is very, very full right now.

Full of airheads!

I'm worried about you, Wade.
You're not taking care of yourself.

What you talking about?

Rammer Jammer's solid,
run a place on my own.

I even took up fly fishing.

But you haven't been
going to the dentist.

A lot of people have fears
about the dentist, okay?

Look it up.

But you know what people
with healthy teeth have?

Someone in their life
making them go to the dentist.

I'll make you a deal.

I will start looking for
a better class of women to date

if you quit that
job of yours.

It's dangerous,
and it sucks.

- I need the money, Wade.
- Work here.

You know, it'll take longer
to save up for that chair,

but you'll get whacked
with far fewer umbrellas.

Yeah, but I don't mind
having you around.

Deal.

You can start
by calling the librarian.

Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

You can start by, uh,
wiping down table nine.

(applause, cheering
and whistling)

Hey, BlueBell.
It's a pleasure to be here.

(applause and cheering)

(band plays upbeat
country intro)

♪ She had a dead-end job
at The National Bank ♪

♪ And a deadbeat husband

Hey.

♪ Who always drank

Are you okay?

♪ So when he didn't
come home... ♪

Brenda was right.
I'm treating him like a child.

And do you know why? It's because
I don't have my own child this weekend.

My son, Harley... he is with his father
for the first time since we separated.

- Oh, wow. That must be hard.
- It's awful.

But I'm... I'm sorry.
I'm-I'm taking it out on you.

Oh, no, you do not have
to be sorry.

You have every right
to be angry with me.

We were so excited to meet
Big Harley's actual daughter.

Why didn't you want to meet us?

I just... You know, family has never
meant more to me than trouble.

But that's no excuse.
I wish we could start over.

Well, as my couples
therapist once said,

"Starting over is difficult,
and that'll be 150 bucks."

Oh, nice.
(laughter)

Well, so was keeping
the temple lit for eight days.

It's a Hanukkah reference.

Hey, maybe, you know, you'd
reconsider coming to dinner tonight?

Okay. Yeah. Maybe.

Uh, the mayor's house! 7:00.
We will provide the dreidels.

♪ Nobody knew
she was brave like that ♪

♪ And she went driving

♪ So far away
nobody's gonna find her ♪

♪ Flying just fast enough
to leave it all behind her ♪

♪ But she didn't know
till she hit the road ♪

♪ Deep in her soul

♪ She's got the fire
and the fight of a gypsy ♪

♪ Ain't nothing stronger
than the heart of Dixie ♪

♪ The heart of Dixie...

Vivian Wilkes.

Wade Kinsella.
You remember me?

Yeah, of course I do. You were
the smartest girl at Lillian.

You know, used to kick our asses
in those, uh, debate things.

And I remember you could skate
backwards at the roller rink.

Hey. You got your braces off.
Congratulations.

You're sweet. I hear you bought
the Rammer Jammer.

Yeah. Hey, you should
come by some time.

Yeah. Maybe.
I got to go.

- It was nice running into you, though.
- Yeah, you, too.

♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh.

(laughs)

(song ends,
applause and cheering)

A broken hip.
It is not good.

- And it's all our fault.
- It is.

And it's going
to take months to heal.

And she can't be all alone
in that big old house of hers.

It's true. Yeah, we should
definitely hire a nurse.

We're not hiring a nurse.

We did it, and one of us needs
to go down there and take care of her.

Well, good-bye, Daddy.
I'll miss you.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

Mother would never have been
here had you not dragged her

to interfere
in my personal life.

- Well, my youth is at stake!
- Well, my livelihood is at stake.

BOTH:
You have to do it!

BOTH: Over my dead body!

All right, we will settle this
like mature adults.

- Flip a coin?
- Yeah, agree.

All right.

Heads.

Oh.

Bye-bye, baby.

I'm gonna miss you.

Oh.

(scoffs)

- Hey, don't burn your arm.
- Thank you, Nana.

Whoa. That's a lot of latkes.

Why can't
we have these every day?

Because then it
wouldn't be special.

Well, yeah, and you'd
be a thousand pounds.

ZOE: Well, you will have leftovers for
a week if the Wilkes don't show.

SYLVIE: Honey, as the Torah says,
if you make it, they will come.

I think that's
from a baseball movie.

I'm beginning to think that Sylvie
knows as much about Hanukkah as I do.

Hey, who cares
if they don't show?

We're gonna have
a great night, hmm?

Shalom.

- Hi.
- Is that right?

(laughs)
That was perfect.

(overlapping chatter)

MAN:
Smells good.

♪

Twice in one day, huh?
What are the chances of that?

It is a coincidence.
What are you doing here?

Well, I'm, I'm
the neighbor.

Well, neighbor,
Happy Hanukkah.

Yeah... yeah.

♪

Baruch ata Adonai,

Eloheynu, Melech...

♪

- Oh... aw.
- Ah, yes.

That's what you're wearing
to Hanukkah dinner?

♪

I'm sorry I got all weird
about protecting Sylvie.

You were right.

Oh, no, you were just being
protective of your family.

Now that I finally have
a family of my own, I get it.

(chuckles) Mmm.

Look at Sylvie blushing.

I haven't seen her
that happy since we went

to the bookstore and I showed her
my novel on the shelf.

That's sweet.

Well, she was there to buy me
an MCAT test prep book, but yes.

We're family.

We pull for each other.

♪

(children clamoring)

Thanks for giving me
and George a chance.

Oh, yeah, of course.
I just want you to be happy.

- So, does he make you happy?
- He does. I trust him, Lavon.

Hey, you should call him,
invite him to dinner.

I already did, but he's prepping for
court tomorrow, has to work late.

Said he's just going
to pick up some takeout.

Thank you so much, Chester.

Tansy, hey, uh, what...

- What are you doing here?
- Wade offered me a job.

Hope it's not going
to be uncomfortable.

No, no, why, why would it be?
No, not at all.

(clears throat)

♪

Thanks for an amazing time.

Oh, sure. Are you going
to go home with Brando?

I'm gonna let him stay
a little longer.

Hmm, right. Well, Joel can
give you a ride you home.

- Actually I have a ride.
- Oh, okay.

Hey, Vivian, you,
uh, you ready?