Hart of Dixie (2011–2015): Season 2, Episode 17 - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together - full transcript

Lily Anne Lonergan?
Your ex-bandmate

who used to be
in love with you?

I missed one
little show.

That show was my
sister's wedding.

Run from Wade.

You can hear
further instructions

in my song, "Run from Wade."

Wait, that was about me?

Jonah Breeland.
Breeland.

Mm-hmm.
There's more of them.

Yeah, this is Brick's nephew.



When did you get into football?

I am into Max Berges.

Victory party at Teddy's
house. You should come.

Oh, my God.

I know that you
left the bar last night

with another woman.

Her battery was dead.
She said she needed a jump.

Something could've
happened, but it didn't.

Did you talk to Wade
about the other night?

Nothing happened with that girl.
Her battery just died.

I've heard the one

about the girl
with the dead battery before.

Tansy, what are you saying?

The other day,
when you asked me,



I wanted to pretend
it didn't happen.

I was drunk,
and i was in a dark place.

Please forgive me.

Dr. Hart, it's Dr. Breeland.

You've been out for six days.

I realize you've had a setback,
but four patients have died.

Honey, it's Sheila.

We all read what happened
on Dash's blog.

It's absolutely horrifying.

It's a tragedy, is what it is.

Which is why i made you a pie.

Z, at least come in the kitchen.

There's coffee.

Also, i'm about to get your
house tented for termites, so...

Hey, uh, i thought you had
already left for work, so...

No, um, not yet.

Hey, Zoe, you finally

made it out of the hou...

I was just, uh, getting...
I need to get...

coffee.
coffee.

Well, uh, come on,

we'll go
to the Rammer Jammer

and get some.

Well, uh, i'm actually
going to work right now,

at the Rammer Jammer, so...

I would be the one

getting you coffee.

We'll stay here.

Good talk.

Magnolia, i'm here.

Hey, Lemon.

Oh, God, Shelby.

What are you doing
crawling around on the floor?

I'm helping your
dad buy a new rug.

As a professional
organizer,

I also dabble
in home décor,

and i thought the place could
use a little spruce-up.

There are some things in here
that have really got to go.

Yes, there are some things

in this house right now
I would just love to get rid of.

But while i appreciate
your good intentions,

this rug has been in our
family for over 100 years.

My great-grandmother Vera
picked it out.

Well, i don't want to
kick Vera to the curb,

but maybe she'd be
happier in the den.

Oh, Lemon,
thank God you're here.

Shelby wants
to take me to school,

and i'd rather
set myself on fire.

Oh, well,
we're all here.

Sorry, i didn't see you.

Your head's
the color of the wall.

Magnolia Breeland,

where are your manners?

I cannot believe
that you called

and asked me to
take you to school

when Shelby so generously
offered to take you herself.

Shelby, i am so sorry.

I apologize
for my sister's behavior.

Oh, well, we all wake up

on the wrong side
of the bed sometimes.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

I thought the goal
was to get her out of our lives.

It is.

But in case you
haven't noticed,

Daddy and Shelby came back
from their vacation early.

So?

So, clearly,

after spending
two weeks alone with Shelby,

Daddy is finally
seeing the light

on just how annoying she is.

The best plan

is to just give Shelby

enough rope to
hang herself with.

Well, she better
hang herself soon,

'cause the wrong side of the bed
is the only side my bed has.

Shame on you
for hurting our sweet Zoe.

She cured my eczema.

Don't know a good thing
when you have it.

Bad, bad man.

Hey, Tucker, how's it going?

Well, you lied to my face.

So i guess
that's how it's going.

You are too good
for Wade anyway.

You're much better off
without him.

You could use
the extra time

to do something
with that hair.

Aw.

Thank you.

I've never been surrounded
by more calories.

Okay, let's give her
some space, now.

Oh, sure.

Everybody's just happy
to see you out and about.

You know, they've been
holding onto these pies

for, like, a week now.

How are you?

Sad.

How am i supposed
to feel better

when everywhere i look
holds a memory?

Or a person with pie.

Hey, Zoe.

Hey.
Hey, uh...

I know you're going through
a rough time right now.

If there's anything i can do,
like... like punch Wade,

or have Tansy
punch Wade again,

or have anyone at all
punch Wade...

I realize now
that all my ideas

involve punching Wade,
but i can work on others.

Thank you, George.
That is very sweet.

All right, then.

No pie.

You know what,
I'm going to work.

Taking care of others

might help me forget
my own problems for a while.

Hey, heard you got dumped.

You want to know what helps
get over those break-up blues?

Mind-blowing sex
with a really hot doctor.

Oh, man, if only i knew one,
I would give it a shot.

Why are you here?

Just finished
two grueling weeks

of applying
for a surgical fellowship.

You may remember that.

Mm-hmm. So, anyways,
just thought i'd catch

some BlueBell R and R
and lend Brick a hand.

Oh, Dr. Hart.

So, glad you could
join us before lunch.

There are patients
with needs and, oddly, pies.

Okay, this is...

not the escape
that i was looking for.

Jonah, would you mind
covering for me? Thank you.

More pie for us.

You're in a really good mood.

What's going on?

Well, since you ask,

Shelby and i had the most

amazing two weeks
in New Orleans.

So good,
we came home early

so i could tell the girls

I want Shelby to move in.

Then you better enjoy
those pies while you can

because, once
you tell Lemon,

you're going to be
eating through a straw.

No, i already
thought about that.

I've got a plan.

Got a present for you.

Figured it might be best

for you to use this
for the time being.

It'll solve our
kitchen traffic problem.

Look, i get it, all right?

I'm the town pariah.

I will keep out
of your kitchen,

and i'll keep
out of your way.

Hey, just the guys
I was looking for.

Reverend Mayfair,
what brings you out here?

Just reminding all my volunteers

about the church
casino fund-raiser.

I decided to put
you two in charge.

Uh, about that...
Well, actually, i-i...

No, no, no, no, now, look,
you can't say no, okay?

The idea was revealed
to me in a vision.

Goes to that well a lot.

Zoe?

How you doing?

Please don't have pie.

Oh, my God, the pity pies.

I got a ton to help me

after the breakup
with Wade.

Plus some other stuff,

but i wasn't living
a real healthy lifestyle then.

Oh, yeah.

You're a Wade
breakup survivor, too.

You know how he just

gets under your skin?

But look at you.

You're not sad.

How can i be like that?

I will do anything.

Well, it just takes time.

No, no. I mean now.

Welcome to the official
Wade-free zone.

But "modernation"
is the key.

Modulation...
modernization.

I agree.

You know, this is great.

But honestly,
i still feel terrible.

That's 'cause you haven't
killed enough brain cells yet.

I'm a doctor.

I should know that.

To the death of
brain cells.

Especially the ones
that remind us of...

♪ Gotta run from Wade

♪ Hide out in the shade

♪ From all the messes
that he made ♪

♪ And all the games
that he played ♪

♪ Run from Wade...

How many dead brain cells
until i didn't see that?

♪ And the bills he left

♪ Unpaid

♪ The love that he betrayed

♪ Run from Wade

So, she's already moved
Grandma Vera's rug

and she put up
fuchsia drapes

in the guest room.

Classic.

I'm sorry, what is fuchsia?

Jonah, point is,

once Daddy experiences
the full Shelby disaster

in full bloom, then she'll be
out of our home for good.

Hmm.

What?

Hmm?

Listen,

remember the time
when we were kids

and i made you eat the carpet

in the upstairs hallway?
Mm-hmm.

That will seem
like an appetizer

if you don't tell me
what you know.

Your dad's asking Shelby
to move in.

What?

Well, i won't allow it.

Well, he's not gonna ask
for your permission.

My father would
never, ever, ever

let a woman move into our house

without his
daughter's permission.

Well, he figures he only
needs to get one of you,

and then the other
will follow suit.

You're not the
only Breeland

who knows how
to exploit the weak.

Oh, no.

I just can't believe him.

Of course he cheated on you.

He's Wade Kinsella,
selfish to the bone.

He never even had
clean sheets.

Oh, my God, what about him

clipping his toenails
on my couch?

What is up with that?
Yeah, and those

puppy dog eyes every time
he forgets your birthday,

or leaves his wet
towel on the bed,

or runs over your pet gerbil.

I got to go finish up my set.

Stay strong, girl.

I take it back.

I feel much better.

Lily Anne is great.

♪ Got to run from Wade,
hide in the shade ♪

♪ Run from Wade,
run from Wade... ♪
Zoe?

What?
Stop.

Why? It's helping.
Hey, y'all. This song goes out

to my fellow sister
in pain, Miss Zoe Hart.

Yeah!

♪ Why don't he ever
wear a shirt? ♪

Yeah, why doesn't he ever
wear a shirt?

♪ Would a little bit
of modesty hurt? ♪

Zoe, letting hate into your
heart is not the answer.

But hating just looks so easy.

♪ Chasing anything
that wears a skirt... ♪

Look at Lily Anne.

♪ Why don't he ever
wear a shirt? ♪

She's been singing the
same songs for four years,

and she is just as angry as
the day she and Wade broke up.

It's your choice.

Be Lily Anne and angry
the rest of your life,

or do like me and let yourself
grieve, really grieve,

and end up happy with a
guy like George Tucker.

And i mean like George Tucker,

not George Tucker himself.

You're right.

I'm not gonna let hate
into my heart.

♪ Why don't he ever
wear a shirt? ♪

Stupid Wade!

I will not let hate
into my heart.

I'm sorry, boot.

I'm sorry, Zoe.

So, how are you feeling?

You know how you always think
that pie can make you happy?

Not true.

Don't worry.

I already checked,
and Wade is not gonna be

on shift till tonight.

Thanks. And thanks
for meeting me for breakfast.

Distraction is exactly
what i need.

So, just talk to me about you
and just keep talking.

Well, uh, Max and i
have made it official.

He put that he's
in a relationship

on his Facebook page.

Ooh! Are you guys
meeting, like,

every day after school
to do homework together?

Totally. Except lately,
he's had to cancel

because he's doing
a study on pond frogs

for his science fair project.

It's not super great for my ego

that i'm losing out
to fly-eating amphibians,

but it's temporary.

Rose, i am so happy for you.

Take this.

Trust me.

It'll help.

And i have connections,

if you want
to make Wade disappear.

That's all i can say.

In fact, i have said too much.

What's the emergency?

Okay, you know
that big dinner

Daddy just
texted us about?
Mm-hmm.

He's going to tell us
that Shelby is moving in.

Lemon, get your head
in the game.

Your evil skills are slipping.

Not anymore.
I have always believed

that Shelby
has an ulterior motive

for dating Daddy,
and i am going to prove it

and get rid of her
once and for all.

Yay, you're back!

Meanwhile,
you have to stay strong.

Because i believe

that Shelby and Daddy
are going to target you

and try and buy your approval.

Buy? What, with gifts?

Forget it.

Why? What's their budget?
Magnolia!

Now is not the time to cave in
to your God-given materialism.

Do you want Shelby
as your stepmom?

No, i'd rather die.

Just say no.
No, no, no, no, no.

Okay, i get it.
God, it's like health class.

Yep, it's strep throat.

I'm going to give you a shot
of antibiotics to help,

but it's very contagious,

so avoid close contact
with others.

Yeah. So not gonna happen.

Excuse me?

Every day after school,

I meet my boyfriend
at the pond.

Well, the guy who
will be my boyfriend

once he dumps the
girl he's dating now,

who is so not as hot as me.

Oh. Small prick.

Ow!

I'm sorry if i seemed angry,
but i'm not.

It's just that people get hurt
when others cheat.

Don't take it out on me that
Wade Kinsella cheated on you.

Seriously? That's how
you're going to talk

to the woman with the needle?

It's your job
to give me medical advice,

not judge me just because
guys find me irresistible.

You know what? You're so right.

You should send your boyfriend
in for treatment

since he's been exposed
to your irresistible strep.

Look, i know

I promised i'd help with
the casino fund-raiser,

but i got important
mayoral duties.

Yeah, i've been picking up
some extra shifts

to try and save money for, uh...

...my Aunt Polly.

Got to balance the budget.

She's very sick.

Got a deficit.

A real huge one.

Chicken pox. Bad ones.

Yeah, i told her,

"Don't be handling
those chickens."

Polly.

I've heard better excuses
from eight-year-olds.

Now, what is going on

with you and Lavon?

Wade screwed up.

I screwed up.

And i can't be around Wade
right now.

Well, i'm sorry to hear

that you two are having
such troubles,

but this is the church's
biggest fund-raiser

of the year.

And do we really want
to disappoint the big guy?

Wow. You really do
play that card a lot.

Hi!

I baked you

your favorite apple crisp.

I was going to bake
you your favorite pie,

but for some reason, all the pie
tins in this town are sold out.

Okay. All right,
what do you want?

George Tucker,
you know, it really saddens me

that you wouldn't think

I would bake you an apple crisp
just to be nice.

But since you happen

to be right,
let's get down to it.

I need you to help me
dig up dirt on Shelby

so i can make Daddy
break up with her.
Uh, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, i have no desire
to get involved in the love life

of my ex-girlfriend
with my ex-fiancée.

But Daddy's about to let Shelby
move in, and for all we know,

she could be a black widow
or a Russian spy.

We need to protect him.

Okay, first off,
not a murderer or a spy.

Secondly, if you want Brick
to break up with Shelby,

well, good luck to you,

because that girl
is an anti-breakup ninja.

George Tucker,
you left me at the altar.

You owe me.

What is the statute
of limitations on that?

Eternity!

Fine. Fine, fine.

What do you...
what do you need me to do?

I need you to be my decoy.

I did a little
online stalking,

and i discovered that Shelby
has put her condo up for sale

in Pensacola.

Tomorrow, there's an open house,

which gives me
the perfect opportunity

to snoop through her things

and find out what skeletons
she has in her closet.

And here's where i think
I should tell you

that an open house
is not carte blanche to...

Eternity, George!

Why don't you just consider it
the house-hunting

that you deprived me of
when you left me at the altar?

Okay?

Wow. That was good.

Hey, Max,
I didn't know you were here.

Uh, hey, Dr. Hart.

I hope you're not mad,
but i saw Dr. Breeland.

I just thought it'd be weird
if i was your patient, you know,

given our romantic history
and all.

No problem.
All right, well, see you.

Okay.

Is Max okay?
Yeah.

Just came in for
a penicillin shot.

Case of strep throat.

Strep?
Mm-hmm.

I had a patient earlier today
who came in for strep,

and i told her to send her
boyfriend in for a check-up.

So Max must be her boyfriend.

You're like a master detective.

No. Max is Rose's boyfriend.

And he told her that he's been
studying frogs at the pond

for his science project,

but instead,
he's been studying Tonya!

Well, this makes me mad.

For Rose. Not for me.

I am not mad.

Excuse me!

What you did

is the worst thing
anyone ever did to me.

And i don't want
to be a big person about it

and just let my anger go.

Because it is official!

I hate you.

I will always hate you,
and i will enjoy hating you!

Feel better?

Yes!

Thank you.

♪ Gotta run from Wade

♪ Hide out in the shade

♪ From all the messes
that he made ♪

♪ And all the games
that he played ♪

♪ Run from Wade

♪ Run from Wade

♪ And the bills
he left unpaid ♪

♪ The love that he betrayed

♪ Run from Wade.

Chin up, Dr. Hart.

You deserve
better than Wade.

You're right, Frank.

Screw Wade!

Don't know that we need
the language, uh...
Oh.

Dr. Hart?

Wow. You look chipper.

Mmm, i had a catharsis
last night.

Did it involve a bonfire?
'Cause you smell like soot.

I may have burned a few things
in my chipperness.

Oh. Burning Wade's stuff to
get over those breakup blues.

Nice. You want to know
what works even better?

Sex. I'm way ahead of you.
What do you want?

Well, i know you think that kid
Max is cheating on your friend,

but you're gonna
let that go, right?

Let it go? You know,
there's a little thing

in relationships called
being faithful.

It may be too nuanced

for your smooth little brain
to comprehend,

but if you knew Rose...

Yeah, yeah, i get it.

She's a sweet, sweet girl,
blah-blah-blah,

but in medicine,
there is this thing

called doctor-patient
confidentiality.

And since, technically,
I'm Max's doctor,

if you tell Rose,
I could be liable.

Hmm. I just want
to make sure

that your anger towards men
doesn't cause you

to tell people things
that you shouldn't.

Well, thank you
for that lecture.

And just so you know,

I would never break
doctor-patient confidentiality.

However,

I can't help it

if i run into Rose

and the truth just comes out.

♪ Come and join the parade

♪ Run from Wade.

No, how about you run the
donation table and serve

the God-approved
nonalcoholic beverages,

and i'll oversee the craps?

Babs Foster already
got dibs on craps.

She got herself
a new craps stick.

Then i'll work the
blackjack table.

Already said i'm
working the blackjack table.

And i'm the mayor.
I get to say.

Fine.

Donations go in the box.

And if Old Man Henderson
wants in,

pat him down for loaded dice.

Thank you.

See, the problem
with living on a boat

is that you can't
pretend you're not home

when people come by
and ask you to snoop

in your ex-girlfriend's house.

Yeah.

That's one of them.

Mildew's another...

thing.
Welcome.

My name's Brayden.

Let me know if i can
answer any questions.

The unit has southern exposures,
central air,

and the building skews
toward young couples.

Are you two married?

Uh, no.
Almost.

This one is just so hard
to get down the aisle.

Oh, honey, this room
is so perfect

for that dinette
set you always

promised you'd
get me but didn't.

Hmm.

Really? The dinette set?

You're gonna hold that
over my head, too? - Yep.

Okay.
Oh, i just

love this hutch.

George...

she has a secret child.

Let me see.

"To the best aunt ever."

Lemon.

This is insane.

It's also borderline
trespassing.

No, it's not.

If there's a sign out front
and an open door,

they waive all their rights.

You are a lawyer. I can't
believe you don't know that.

So...

is there anything i can
tell you about the place?

No, we're good.
Uh, storage.

Storage.

Where can i store things?

All kinds of things.

Like, important
documents,

my diary, that
sort of thing.

If you're looking for storage,
this is your dream place.

There's an incredible
walk-in closet

in the hallway
outside the master bedroom.

Wonderful.

George,

why don't you ask Brayden
that long list

of questions that you have

while i go take
a quick peek?

Yeah, but, honey, i don't...

I didn't...

So, um, wh-what's...

what's the bird situation?

Hi, Magnolia.

I'm going

shoe shopping.

Want to come?

No, thanks.

Hey, i feel bad,
but your dad gave me

this Tory Burch purse

on vacation.

It is more your style.

You want it?

Nope. I definitely do not.

Hey, girl.

My friend

gave me two tickets to see

Carrie Underwood in Jackson.

Want to go?

Take a friend?

Go backstage, meet her...

Maybe sing a little something?

No, thanks.

This should be
right in my wheelhouse.

I thought you said Magnolia

was materialistic
and shallow.

Well, i love her, and
she has many gifts,

but she is.

There is no
way she had

that much willpower
on her own.

Lemon.

Lemon must have
gotten to her.

So, now what?

Well, we just have
to out-Lemon Lemon.

Don't give me that boyish look.

Lucky streak, my heinie.

You counting cards.

I-i swear i'm not.

I suck at cards,

and i can't count
worth a hoot.

It's true.

And P.S., that boyish look

is the only look
my new husband has,

so back off.

Okay, everybody
calm down, now.

I'll have to call the pit boss.

Ain't no pit boss.

He'll just take you out back
and break your legs.

That'll be ten
dollars, Frank.

Sucking up to God

ain't gonna make up
for what you did

to Zoe.

God hates you.

No, no.

Not true. Now,
God doesn't hate Wade.

God loves everyone.

Maybe officially,
but you just know

he's got a list.

I need to take a break.

Zoe?

What are you doing here?

Hey, is this
your school?

Who knew?

Anyhoo, just so
glad we happened

to run into each other.

Wow, you seem so happy.

Not letting hate
into your heart

is really working for you.

Oh, no. I tried
not to let hate in,

but you know what?
Hate is a real charmer.

So i said, "What the
heck, come on in""

Brought two of
his friends,

petty and vindictive,
and you know what?

We have been
partying it up.

It's awesome.

Enough about me.
How's Max?

Uh, good.
He had a sore throat,

but he seemed
to be better today.

How is his project going?

Oh, i don't really know.

It's about frogs,
so i don't really ask.

To be honest,
I can't wait

until this science fair
project is over,

because the next day
is Max's birthday,

and i've been saving up
to get him a guitar.

Don't!
What?

I mean...

don't you want to know

more about Max's
science project?

No, not really.
Great.

Let's drop in on Max
and check out those frogs. Okay.

I don't get it. Why the
sudden interest in frogs?

Because someone told me
that it is frog mating season,

and this is where they come
to do their froggy business.

And, if we're quiet,
we can catch--

uh, see them.

I don't want
to see frogs doing it.

Sounds gross.

So gross.

But you know what?

Sometimes you have
to confront reality.

And reality has taught me
that frogs, like men,

have trouble sticking
to one mate.

And i feel bad
for the frogs.

Just like i would
feel bad for you

if Max turned out
to be a frog.

Whoa, i'm confused.

Are you saying
you think Max is a frog?

No.

Well, you know, maybe.
I hadn't thought about it.

I just think it seems a
little odd that he picked

this pond to do his
science project,

where all the
kids make out.

No... no, Max
would never cheat on me.

Look, you are just
such a good person,

and i don't want to
see you get hurt.

Hey, it's me.

Shh.

I'm waiting here for you.

What?

Okay, you're on your way?
Sweet.

Wait, you think Max

is cheating on me
with Tonya?

Oh, i don't recall
saying that,

but if that's
what you think...

I think i should know more

about Max's science project.

Hey, Lemon, how's it going?

Well, if an addiction
to bedazzling was enough

to get Daddy to break up
with Shelby, we'd be golden.

Okay, how's it going
on your end?

I'm trying, but, well,
a person can only be so strong.

What?

What do you mean?
Ooh, yeah.

Nothing. Just... good luck.

But...

Magnolia!

Cool.

Okay, i think we got enough
with the bow on.

You want to take
it for a spin?

Lemon. Hey, hey.

Time's up, okay?

I stalled the chatty Realtor
as long as i...

Are those boas?

Yes, and there's a matching
set of tap shoes in each color.

I don't even
want to know why.

I know why, Lemon.

Shelby's not a woman.
She's a drag queen.

Quick. We got to go
tell Brick right away.

George Tucker, do not mock me.

Magnolia's clearly folding

like a house of cards, and we
are the last bastion of hope

to keep Daddy from making the
biggest mistake of his life!

No, i'm out.
My daddy!

Who lost thousands of
dollars on a wedding

that never happened.

All right, okay, all right.

What? What do...
what do you want me to do?

Go through these
bank records.

Okay.

Eugenia, give Cody
back his chips.

He told me
the only thing

that beat my flush
was five of a kind.

It's called a bluff,

and i'm the master of it.

I will hit you with a rock.

Hey, Lavon.

Hate to interrupt
your good time.

What is it, Wade?

Have you seen the, uh, lockbox

that had
all the donations in it?

You're kidding, right?

As much as i could use
a good laugh myself, no.

How did this happen?

I needed a break,
all right, Lavon?

If i had to sit there
and have one more person

wagging their finger at me
about how i mistreated Zoe,

I swear to God,

I was gonna lose my mind.

This is a church fund-raiser.

Those were church funds.

Geez, just take it down
a notch, all right? - No!

And when are you gonna stop
trying to prove

that all you can do
is disappoint people?

We believe you, okay?

You can stop now.

Yeah.

Wade?

Mayor Hayes,
everything okay?

Uh, yeah, yeah,
just some unexpected bumps.

Tell me about it.

I just found
Sergeant Jefferies

with this.

Apparently, he thought
it was his lunch box.

I don't think
that it, uh,

takes anything away
from the miracle

of God's creatures
to say that some of them

are just plain nuts.

Good Lord!

What self-respecting woman

in the 21st century
wears scrunchies?

Maybe you're right.

Maybe Shelby doesn't
have any dark secrets

other than a severe
lack of good taste.

No, no, hang on.

Maybe you're right.

Look, these-these...
these bank statements

show that Shelby's behind
on her mortgage.

Wait, what?

Yeah, not just by
a little bit, either.

She has a massive amount
of debt here.

Yay!

Shelby is

a gold digger.
I told you so.

Do not try and hide something

from Lemon Breeland
'cause i will find it.

I will find it.

You found it, but still.

Since you asked
about storage space...

Oh, my Lord, how are we gonna
explain that we're in here?

Oh, my.

Oh, hey, hey.

I'm sorry, we got a
little bit carried away.

You know how it is when
you're almost married.

By any chance, would you want
to show us the guest bedroom?

Nope.

No, i do not.

Okay.
Okay.

Excuse us. Sorry.

I can't believe Max
would cheat on me.

I thought he was a prince, and
it turns out he's just a frog.

Don't worry, Rose.

We will get
through this together.

I have the perfect song.

"Run from Wade,"

although we could change
the lyrics.

♪ Max make tracks...

Frog!

Whoa, Rose.

What are you doing here?

Wait, and Dr. Hart.

I can't believe
you're cheating on me.

You liar, two-faced,
frog-faced liar!

Yeah, what she said.

What-what are you talking about?

I'm just here
to do my science project.

Oh, yeah, right.

Well, if your science project
is to raise Tonya's IQ

above that of a turnip,
you failed.

That's right. Epic fail.

Wait, wait, Tonya?

Oh, you have got
to be kidding me,

because Tonya hates me.

No, seriously.
Watch this.

Hey, Tonya!

Oh, my God.

How many times do i have
to tell you to stop doing

your stupid frog project where
me and my boyfriend make out?

Go get your geek on

somewhere else, pervert.

Yeah, so i don't think
I'm gonna be

hooking up with Tonya
any time soon.

Oh, my God, Max, i am so sorry.

Max, this is all my fault.

I thought, you know,
you had strep,

and Tonya had strep, so i...

Rose, i am so, so sorry.

And i'm so glad
your being mad at Wade

has made you feel better,

but it doesn't mean
everyone's a frog.

Come on, Max.

Lemon, i know you mean well,
but i'm not really sure

you should do this, okay?
Shelby might be

a financial train wreck,
but i know for a fact

that she makes your
dad very happy.

And i know that you mean well,
but i'm not inclined

to take relationship advice
from a man

who just forgot to tell me
that he wasn't in love with me

until our wedding day.
Now, i thank you kindly

for your assistance,
and good night.

Lemon, i'm sorry.

They got me a new car.

You can buy movie tickets
from the dashboard.

What?
Shelby's moving in.

Whoa... Magnolia.

You... you ruined

the big surprise.

Sweetheart,
I know

how protective
you can be, so i hope

you can get on board

without needing
a whole new set of wheels.

Lemon, i'm so glad
you could make it.

Did you see the new rug?

Yes, and you
were so right.

Sometimes you just have to toss
things out that don't belong.

Daddy, may i speak
to you alone please? Well,

c-can it wait till after dinner?
Oh, a-and by the way,

since you have your own
place now, we have decided

we're gonna convert your room
to Shelby's office.

That way, she can,
you know...

Redecorate it using your
credit cards? Absolutely not.

I will not allow
her to use you

as a solution
to her one-woman fiscal cliff.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lemonade,
what is going on?

Shelby has put up her condo
for sale in Pensacola.

And do you know why?

Because, if she doesn't sell
it in the next 30 days,

she is going into foreclosure.

And maybe you wouldn't be
so financially strapped

if you laid off
the feather boas!

Daddy, i'm sorry that the truth
had to come out like that,

but...

it had to be done.

And you're welcome.

I have no words

for how disappointed i am in you
for behaving like this.

What?
I know all about

Shelby's financial troubles.

You do?
Of course i do.

Shelby and i, we-we have an open
and an honest relationship.

In fact, she was the one
who insisted on a prenup

if we got married--

to ensure that you and your
sister would not be saddled

with her... her so-called
"fiscal cliff""

I better not lose
my RAV4 over this.

Found the lockbox.

Turns out it wasn't stolen
after all.

I'm sorry.

Look, Lavon,
I get it, all right?

I get that i... lost the only
girl that ever meant...

anything to me
and i'll never get her back,

and i have to live with that.

And as a bonus to the most

glorious screw-up of my already
gloriously screwed up life,

I get that on top of losing
the best girl i ever had,

now i've lost the best friend
I ever had, and, uh...

Whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey.

You didn't lose me.

I mean, how could you lose me?

I'm six and a half feet tall.

You know what i mean.

Wade, you hurt someone
I care about.

And worse,
you hurt yourself.

But come on, man, we'll...

we'll get through this.

We have to.

I can barely change
my own lightbulb anymore.

Hey. Give me something
strong enough to make me forget

about the past 12 hours.

If it works,
let me know.

Zoe, what are you doing here?

Trying to forget
the past 12 hours.

Did i not make that clear?

Ah. Post-Wade breakup blues?

You know,
alcohol is so not fair.

It makes you feel better, and
then it makes you feel worse.

Hey, kind of like Wade.

Oops, need more alcohol.
No, uh...

I just wanted
to feel better.

I had to make a choice:
either to hate

or to do the long, hard thing
and work through my sadness,

and guess which one i chose.

You're telling me.
Hating is so much easier.

Isn't it?
Yes.

I couldn't let just me
be a hater.

I had to spread it around, prove
that Max was cheating on Rose.

For the record? Not.

Yeah, and i spent my entire day
trying to prove

that Shelby had ulterior motives
for dating my father. Also not.

Well, i understand how a person
like you could be cynical.

I mean, your mother
did abandon you.

Well, what about you?
Your father abandoned you.

And your father
worked all the time.

And your mother
never supported you.

George left you at the altar.

And Wade cheated on you!

Yes! He did!

You know, if only
there was a magic pill

that could just make
you feel better.

Forget the alcohol-- someone
should come up with that.

I mean, they would be,
like, a bazillionaire.

Listen, we're not friends,

so i'm not gonna
hug you or anything, but...

I will tell you this.

Even though there's no
magic pill for your pain...

you find a way to go on.

And once you go on
long enough,

you will get over it.

I'm living proof.

Hey.

A shout-out to my soul sister,
Miss Zoe Hart.

To no more toenails
on your couch.

♪ This little white dress
and fantasy ♪

♪ Is not the moon you promised

♪ To hang for me

♪ You disgust me

♪ Wade, you, you disgust me

We should go now.
♪ You're the nose
hair of humanity ♪

♪ You ravaged me
emotionally ♪

♪ You disgust me,
you disgust me, you disgust me ♪

♪ Whoa, oh-oh, oh, oh-oh.

What, no bonfire today?

Isn't there just one corner
in this town

where someone can be alone?

Man, that is a
good question.

Still battling
the breakup blues, huh?

Please just go away.

Sorry. i'm bound by sacred oath
to help those in pain.

Or...

something like that.
I don't know.

I was really hungover
when i took my Hippocratic oath.

Shocking.

What you don't
know about me...

...i can juggle.

There are oranges
in my pocket.

Oh, look at that.

Tell me this isn't
cheering you up.

'Cause i know
it's turning you on.

Look, Jonah, i-i really
appreciate this, but...

You're still sad.

I see that.

Well,

you really have no other choice.

There's only one thing
left to try.

Come on. Why not?

Okay.

It's okay.
You can trust me.

I'm a doctor.

Hi.

Can i talk to you?

Don't worry.

I don't have any baked goods.

So, turns out Shelby
wasn't a gold digger after all.

Oh.

Well, that must have been fun.

Listen, i-i realize
that my distrust of people

may have been come by naturally,

but it's still mine
to keep or lose,

and i choose not
to blame anyone anymore.

So...

as far as our wedding goes,

I absolve you.

Really?

Well, thank you.
Of course, if Daddy

ends up getting married
to Shelby, it will be your fault

for breaking up with her
and making it possible.

Oh, so now... now you get
to hold that over me. Okay.

All right.
Yep,

for all of eternity.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Some things that you left at my place.
A few things might be missing,

This doesn't mean
that i forgive you,

but with time, i will figure out
a way to move on.

Oh, and even though I don't like
you right now,

I don't hate you, and I just thought
that you should know that.

- See you around.
- See you around.