Hart of Dixie (2011–2015): Season 2, Episode 14 - Take Me Home, Country Roads - full transcript

Wade is getting sex-starved since he and Zoe went exclusive, and has reason it will only get worse since many generously-grateful flu epidemic patients in Brick's absence rendered her suddenly popular. So Wade borrows a mate's hunting cabin for the weekend, but has to send her back, simply obsessed with patients and town by phone. Zoe gets jealously suspicious of the replacement Wade also arranged for her: popular Harvard graduate Jonah, Brick's handsome cousin, who actually understands her and turns out the surprise gift at Brick's surprise birthday party. Organising it was the bone of contention between Lemon, who tried to swear of manipulative meddling, and Magnolia, who counted on big sister's busybody talents to get rid of Shelby as Brick's potential bride, with a saucy 'surprise' result.

If you want to be with Shelby,
screw it, be with Shelby.

I don't know what your game is,

but I am going to have you out of here

within a week.

I've never had a real
relationship, Wade.

Me neither.

Sometimes you just got to wing it.

We're gonna drive each
other crazy sometimes.

But you got to remember,

that's what brought us
together in the first place.

You know, sometimes I
think about the time



we had together.

We were in love once,

and, Lord help me, I still think I am.

Forget about
Lavon; You've got Walt.

Mayor Hayes and I are friends,

but we both belonged elsewhere.
Glad to hear it.

AnnaBeth, Mayor Hayes
is totally into you.

It doesn't matter... there
is no world in which

I could pursue a relationship
with the man Lemon once loved.

Well, well, well,

look what the cat dragged in.

You've pulled three
all-nighters in a row.

You must be beat.

I know. Except I'm not.



You know, ever since I helped this town

through the flu, the people
are, like, trusting me

with their most intimate secrets;

Sharing their deepest fears.

They appreciate me.

Well, let's not forget

who appreciated you first, all right?

And, for the record, I'm
getting a little tired

of having to appreciate you by myself.

If you catch my drift.

Oh, you mean, like, in a sex way.

Bingo. Clever.

Well, I'm only thinking of others.

You know, when the, uh,
men

in a society don't get enough sex,

they can become a mean
and war-like people.

You know, I do hate war.

So, tonight, I'm all yours. Mm.

I'm popular.

I'm finally fitting in.

This morning Babs Foster came by,

gave me a casserole gonna
last me through next winter.

Yesterday, I got a free
manicure at Mane Street.

Then, a ten-minute massage
with one of those

new machines they put behind your head.

Oh, that's not a machine.

Billy Barnes likes to sneak in,

and rub lady's necks when
their eyes are closed.

I'm not going to think about that

because people love me.

Yeah.

What are you looking for?

What? Uh, nothing, no one, nobody.

Lavon Hayes, you're looking for a girl.

Come on, spill the beans.

Can't.

I don't even know if it's a thing yet.

She's acting kind of weird about it.

All right, fine, one bean.

Who is it? I can keep a secret.

Uh, debatable.

But as soon as I know
this thing's a thing,

I'll tell you.

I-I'll see you later. Go on.

Go about your business.

Hey, A.B.

I was hoping I'd see you.

I can't stop thinking
about the other night.

It was so amazing.

It was, right?

I mean, you did make
amazed sort of sounds.

Oh, yes, I was amazed.

Um, it's just, I...

It's just what?

Complicated. I've got to scoot.

A bottle of wine, Frank?

Pinot?

I got that special for you, Doc. Aw.

You got my wife through the flu

and that woman is a real
B-word when she's sick,

you know what I mean?

I think I do.

Rhymes with "doll buster."

Nope, I was wrong.

Frank-a-lank!

Hey.

Can I grab a bottle of that red?

Well, slap me silly, you're back.

Here you go. What the hell, Frank?

Well, sorry, but I only got the one

and I've known Jonah
since he was a baby.

Hey, I don't mean to ruffle your...

very attractive feathers,

it's just that I wanted
this to celebrate.

Oh, yeah, what are you celebrating?

You having dinner with me tonight.

Ho-ho...

You did not just...

Say that?  I just really did.

Come on, why not share
your wine with a friend?

I already have a friend. Thank you.

Kind of surprising, but okay.

I think she likes me.

Wh-what do you mean

you're here to see Dr. Hart?

Esther, I've been your
doctor for 20 years.

Now... Actually, it's-it's a follow-up.

She's sprained her wrist
while you were gone.

Hey, Esther, why don't you go on in?

Thank you.

That is the third patient
today who has requested you.

How much you paying them?

What can I say?

Bluebell and I kind of became
besties during the flu.

Can you make sure everyone
gets one of these?

Thanks.

Oh, good Lord, here she comes.

Lemon. Hello.

I knew I'd find you here.

San Antonio was fantastic,
thank you for asking.

I have to show you our pics.

Look, Alamo... Mm-hmm.

Alamo... Mm.

Alamo... Mm-hmm.

But why am I rambling

when we have important
items to discuss?

Oh, we do?

It's Brick's birthday this weekend,

and he wants to have a
party where he would like

to introduce a special
someone to his friends.

So, everything has got to be perfect.

I started jotting down ideas

and I just had so many, I had
to buy a second notebook.

Ideas.

You have ideas about
my father's birthday.

Yeah... and I am sure she
cannot wait to hear them.

I'll call you. I'm-I'm
sorry to interrupt.

Magnolia,

that is such a cute dress.

It really makes your eyes pop.

God, and her voice really
makes my ears bleed.

I swear, if Daddy marries her,

I am not splitting his will three ways.

You can share your half.

Well, fortunately, that
won't be an issue.

Daddy's going though a mid-life crisis,

but Shelby won't be around for long.

I can promise you that.

Yes! I knew you would come
up with some evil plan.

I'm the luckiest sister
in the whole world.

I don't know, y'all.

Brick does seem really happy,

and the heart wants what
the heart wants, right?

AnnaBeth, we're not animals.

We can control who we do
and do not sleep with.

Right. You're so right.

As always. Oh, my God, they've had sex?

You know, you might want to
cut back on the caffeine.

You're making a little
less sense than usual.

It might explain that break out, too.

Wade, I'm on my way.

Keep dinner warm, and
keep you warm, too.

Oh, my God, please erase that.

Zoe, Zoe, hi, I-I need
to see you right away.

Ah-ah-ah-ah, now young lady,

I delivered you into this world,

I forbid you from seeing Dr. Hart.

I'm sorry Dr. Breeland,
it's a woman thing.

It's VD, isn't it?

God is smiting me with VD for my sins.

Well, if he is, he's doing
it in World War II,

because nobody says "VD" anymore.

It's actually just a pimple.

Well, I deserve VD.

Do you want to talk about it?

I slept with the last person
on Earth I should have.

I'm a terrible person.

Who? I can keep a secret.

Why does everyone keep
reacting like that?

You know, Lavon did the same thing...
to me.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, what were you thinking?

Yeah, I know. That's why
I deserve to be smote.

Smited? Smitten?

I... I just hope my
hair doesn't fall out.

It is my best feature.

Well, was it a one-time thing,
or do you have feelings for him?

You know him.

How could I not have feelings for him?

Oh, Lemon's going to be so hurt.

And then, of course, destroy me.

Well, this is a small town

so you are going to have
to be the one to tell her

if you want to save your friendship.

You're right.

Will you role play some
various scenarios with me?

If I don't prepare,

I'll chicken out. Now?

If-if you have somewhere
to be, it's fine.

No, no, you need me.

Wade will understand. Just
let me text him, okay?

Wade?

Hey, Wade, hey, can I
talk to you for a sec?

Well, well,

have you come to take
my orange juice, too?

It was my wine.

So, I take it you two have met?

Not officially.

Jonah Breeland.

Breeland. Mm-hmm.

There's more of them.

Yeah, this is Brick's nephew.

Uh, Jonah, this is Zoe
Hart, beloved town doctor.

And this is who I shared my wine with.

Wine, when?

Well, I meant to.

Excuse me, while I
grab him for a second.

Well...

I am so, so sorry about last night.

I had no idea you had all that planned.

Is there any way I can
make it up to you?

Sex.

Yeah, I know. But something more?

More sex.

Look, my buddy Bo said we can
borrow his hunting cabin.

Why don't you and I get
away for a weekend?

The weekend?

It sounds great, but you
know it's a bad time.

I have all these patients recovering...

Yeah, they're recovering from
the flu, not Ebola, all right?

They're going to be
here when you get back.

Come on.

Brick does owe me.

All right! 48 hours of F-U...

Wade!

Come on, I was just
going to spell "fun."

It's like all you can
think about is sex.

Okay, so, Magnolia and I will be

helping Shelby plan
your birthday party.

Oh.

Because she hardly
knows you, of course.

Oh, no, she does.

Either she has the most
penetrating understanding

of human nature, or I'm
just shallow as hell,

but either way, I'm good.

Daddy, are you sure that you
two are ready to go public?

Lemonade, as long as you and
Magnolia give her a chance,

I don't care what anyone else thinks.

If you're waiting for the bus,

I think the last one left in 1974.

Oh, would you look at you. Jonah!

What are you doing here?

Well, I had a few days off,

I figured I'd come to my
favorite uncle's birthday.

That sounds good.

And, Lemon, my apologies
for missing your wedding.

I wish I could've been
here to personally see

the demonic terror you
unleashed on George Tucker.

Well...

Actually, Jonah, in the
face of that horrendous

tragedy, Lemon responded as
the mature and selfless woman

she has become.

Oh, Daddy, stop. I mean it.

My girl is changing for the better.

Well, I'm-I'm trying.

This is Lemon 2.0:

Selfless, generous...

and I've never been more proud.

Daddy, come on, stop.

I'm sure that Jonah's sick
of hearing how great I am.

A little bit, yeah.

You know, I was sorry to hear about.

AnnaBeth's divorce.

Well, not really. Is she seeing anyone?

Well...

I mean, you two did always have sparks.

I'll check it out for you.

Oh, if y'all excuse me for just a sec,

I just need to say hi. Huh. Yeah.

Jonah is back. Ugh.

And you and Shelby are
working together.

I just... this is shaping up
to be the best birthday ever.

Hey, Lemon, I love your hair.
Looks so nice.

Funny thing happened:

I
slept with the mayor.

Oh.

Uh...

Hello.

Oh, AnnaBeth.

Uh, hey, it's Lavon.

Um...

Look, I feel like things
have been a little

weird between us ever since we...

you know.

And I was hoping we
could talk about it.

Perhaps over dinner tonight?

What do you say? No.

Yes. No.

I-I...

There is something I have to do first.

I will call you back.

Yeah.

Okay. Thank you.

So, listen, I have to
ask you something.

Sure. Yeah, just, could you get...

could you get the dog to
stop chewing my shoe?

Dolly, stop.

You just have to be firm, but gentle.

You love her, right?

Do I-do I love her?

I-I feel very warmly for her

when she's not licking my face
when I'm trying to sleep,

or staring at us while we're kissing,

or eating my shoe.

Then would you please, please, please

consider doing me the
greatest favor in the world?

Anything.

I got a call to do
hair at the auto show

in Birmingham and I
was hoping you could

babysit Dolly Parton tonight.

Of... of course.

Just tell me what I need to do.

Okay.

First things first:

This is her favorite
toy, Sir Squeaks-a-Lot.

Oh. She needs long
walks in the morning;

45 minutes at a fast pace.

Meals are at exactly 8:30 and 5:00.

Thunderstorms, baths, well,
any kind of water really,

scares the bejeezus out of her,

and the only way to calm her down

is singing "Jolene."

Dolly loves her Dolly.

Yeah, I need to write all this down,

but could you... could you get her

to stop squeaking the damn frog?

The damn...
the damn cute frog.

That's... squeaky... I like it.

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah.

Give it, give it, give it.

Oh...

This is gonna be awesome.

Oh, here is a good one.

What if the theme is
"Gettin' Wiggy with It"

and everybody's got to wear wigs?

Could you just die.

Yes, I could, right now.

Um, all of these

are very good...

excellent ideas,

so, why don't you just
pick your favorite,

and we will do everything
that we can to help you out.

Oh, yay.

Oh, I feel like I have two new sisters.

Now I have to go shopping.

Oh, I just get that tingly
feeling when I say that.

Kiss, kiss.

Okay, what is your
plan to get rid of her

and how does it involve
throwing Daddy a wig party?

I have evolved, Magnolia,

and I'm trying to be a better person.

Are you going soft on me?

Don't you go soft on me.

What on Earth was that about?

Oh, she's not a big fan of Lemon 2.0.

What's up?

How's Walt?

He's great. Why?

So, you two are good?

Yeah.

Good. Good.

Yep.

Whoo, it must be nice to be over Lavon.

Why do you ask?

No reason.

Oh, my God, you know
what I almost forgot?

Guess who's back in town
and who asked about you?

Jonah.

You don't say.

You both are single,

so why don't you go out
to dinner tonight?

Oh, Lemon, I...

You know what, don't thank me.

We're best friends.

It's the least I can do.

I'll give him a call
right now and set it up.

Brick, I need this.

I deserve this.

Well, as much as I would
love to work this weekend,

and remind everyone in town
who the real doctor is,

it is my birthday and my girls
are throwing me a party.

Oh, my invitation must've
got lost in the mail.

Zoe's worked her butt off

covering for you, you stupid ol' ass.

Oh, whoa, whoa, now, what
was it you just called me?

Now, now, now you two calm down.

There's no need.

We can settle this without insults.

Can't we just flip a coin?

No, I will not let my birthday
be decided by chance.

Well,
how about a contest?

Like, whoever can cure the next patient

who walks through that door, wins.

Fine.

All right, I'm in.

Oh, Michelle. Mrs. Peyser.

How are you? Is everything okay?
What can I help you with?

It's Henry here.

He hasn't done number two in five days.

All right, you got this champ, come on.

That better be one hell
of a hunting lodge.

Mm, mm, mm.

I'm going to tell you about the miracle

that is the human digestive system.

See now, great moments were born
out of great opportunities.

And this is your chance, Henry,
to show everyone out there

that you were born to do this.

So, you know how when you have food,

and you chew it up...

num, num, num, num, num...

the food's so good.

Can you do this?

Did you know sometimes
that there's gold in it?

I'll give you ten bucks.

Henry, I think you can
guess where this goes.

Whoo, hoo-ho-hoo.

Thanks, Dr. Breeland. Bye, now.

Wow, you literally scared
the pooh out of him.

I think I won the doctor-off.

You get the weekend off, that's it.

Congratulations.

Dr. Hart,

uh, we had a canned goods
sale at the Dixie Stop,

and now my carpel tunnel's acting up.

Frank.

Dr. Breeland.

Uh... is that you?

My eyes aren't so good either.

Frank, why don't you
just head on in there.

Huh? Oh.

Okay.

I'm sorry. I tried.

I know.

What? Cancel the party?

But it's tomorrow.

I know, I know, but now
is just not a good time

to tell everyone about Shelby and me.

I thought you didn't
care what people think?

Well, I-I didn't, until Zoe Hart

saved everyone in bluebell,

like Clara Barton in shorty shorts.

Look, I just can't afford to
lose another patient to her.

And Shelby is half my age,

and, you know, the people
in town might find it...

A crime against nature?

Don't you worry, we'll
call the whole thing off.

It'll be fine.

Oh, now why can't everyone be just

accepting and understanding
like you are?

I didn't hate gym class.

I hated Coach Abernathy.

The man was cool. He had
that awesome 'stache.

It was not awesome.

It looked like he snorted a broom.

You know, I forgot how funny you are.

Uh-oh, checking the
watch, not a good sign.

I'm sorry, I just, I have a
lot on my mind right now.

Want to talk about it?

Um, thanks, but, um,
I really have to go.

Hey, Jonah,

big plans this weekend, bud?

Apparently not.

Good, 'cause I could use a favor.

Lavon.

Wait, that wasn't what it looked like.
Mm-hmm.

Looked like you were on a
date with Jonah Breeland.

Yeah, okay, well... good eye.

But...

but it wasn't a real date.

Lemon was just testing me,

because earlier today I
tried to tell her about us,

but then she got suspicious
and she set me up with Jonah

to make sure I don't
have feelings for you.

So, you don't have feelings for me?

No, I do.

I just missed my window of
opportunity to tell her that.

Why would Lemon care that
you have feelings for me?

She and I ended things a long time ago.

We both moved on.

Yeah...

AnnaBeth,

Lemon and I have both
moved on, haven't we?

Yeah... Can we just pretend

like the last 15 seconds
never happened?

Okay.

I'm not sure that they did.

Huh.

Yeah,

this isn't going to work.

Dolly Parton, you need to go.

Come on, hey. No, no,

see that face is not
going to work on me.

There's a beautiful couch right here,

it's real comfortable.

Good.

Hey, great news.

I found a doctor to cover
for you this weekend.

Jonah Breeland.

That's funny, but impersonating
a doctor is a felony.

And, in prison, they would be
all over someone that pretty.

Graduated with honors
from Duke Medical,

just finished my residency
at Chicago General.

Technically, I'm on vacation.

And you're welcome.

See? Bona fide smarty-pants.

Now, come on, let's go.

Wait.

You know, I don't know if Brick and I

want to leave our
patients with a stranger.

Dr. Hart? Dr. Hart?

It-it's Bart, his feet, they're...

Jonah Breeland?

Get over here and give me a hug.

Look at you.

Hey, you guys go have fun.

I got this.

See?

Tell me you're staying in town.

Come on.

You look great.

Rise and shine,

I'm back.

Um, where... is my baby girl?

Oh, she just...

she wanted to sleep on the couch.

She's not out here, George.

Please tell me this is
some kind of prank,

and she's really hiding in your closet.

No, no,
she's-she's-she's out here.

She's out here...

somewhere.

Uh, okay. Uh...

Tansy, baby, I need you to, uh,

just stay calm, okay?

My baby, she is out there, alone.

On the streets.

Yeah. And we will-we
will find her, okay?

But what if we don't, George?

My whole life has been
a constant stream

of guys walking all over me,

and Dolly has been the one
thing I could count on.

Okay, okay.

Here's what we do:

I need you to find a picture of her

and I need you to make a flyer.

I have one of her smiling.

Or do you want a serious one?

No, no, smiling... smiling's real good.

Okay. Okay?

Wow.

It's so rustic and charming.

I feel like I'm in a
Folgers commercial.

Well, what did you expect?

Well, you said "hunting lodge."

My mind went to some dark places.

Ooh, this bed's got good spring to it.

Come here, let's test drive

this bad bear, come on.

Okay, but I have to check my messages.

I'm not getting any service.

Well, what does that matter?

We came here to get away from
it all... that is the all.

I'm a doctor... I have to be reachable

in an emergency.

See? I just missed a
call from AnnaBeth.

I have to find service
so I can call her back.

Oh, come on, it's not like she's dying.

We are all dying.

Just at different rates.

Well, enough of the sexy talk.

Look, if you need bars, you
can hike up to the top

of the hill there.

Okay, when I get back, we'll
take this puppy for a spin.

Ooh.

Shelby, thank you so
much for meeting me.

Oh, are you kidding me? This'll be fun.

I'll be like the big
sister you never had.

Except I have one.

Well, I'll be like the
one you never had.

I was just so bummed your
dad cancelled the party.

I wanted to take you dress shopping.

Well, about that, you should know

that Daddy cancels his
party every year.

Oh.

And then every year we throw
him a surprise party.

Oh, it's just this silly
little game we play.

Oh, thank God.

For a second there, I...

I thought he didn't want to
introduce me to his friends.

Oh, no. No.

I am sure he's dying

to show you off.

You are like a Barbie that is

barely out of its box.

Oh, thank you.

So, how do we make this party one
this town will never forget?

AnnaBeth, you didn't.

I know, it just slipped out.

I told him to forget I said anything.

You think he did?

He played football... maybe he
got hit in the head a lot.

Well, looks like we're gonna find out.

That's him on the other line.

You call me back!

Okay.

Hey.

Oh, oh, good you're there.

Look, I need to ask you something.

Um, do you think it's
possible Lemon Breeland

still has feelings for me?

I really don't know.

Well, look, I know you don't
know, but what do you think?

I mean, she did bid on my basket

at auction.

And then she told Ruby
about the affair.

She did have feelings for
you during the election.

Hold the roll.

You knew and you didn't tell me?

Well, because you had moved on

and I knew how you felt about Ruby.

It was really hard keeping
all the storylines straight.

I stopped watching Game of Thrones

after the first episode,

let me tell you.

Lav... Lavon?

Dr. Hart? It's Cody.

Cody?

Hey, Cody. How's the ankle?

It's swelled up like a
pickled pig's foot.

You got a sec to check it out?

You know what? I am out
of town for the weekend

but I can see you first
thing Monday morning.

No, no, it's all right.

We're all going down to the
doctor's office later.

I'll just get Jonah to look at it.

Wait, I'm sorry, you're all
headed to the doctor's office?

What for?

Cody? Cody.

Come on.

Okay, this is awkward,

so I'm just gonna say it.

I'm not in love with Lemon anymore,

even if she is still in love with me.

I never should have let that slip.

I continue my campaign to be
the worst best friend ever.

So, she is.

You know, I'm honestly not sure.

She was.

Well, look, you didn't
mean for this to happen.

But it's happening and
we can't deny it.

And Lemon seems really happy with Walt.

That's true.

I think she's moved on.

I hope she has.

She deserves to be happy.

Just like I deserve to be happy.

And you make me happy.

You make me happy, too.

Would you like me to speak to her?

No, I need to do it.

Okay, good luck with that.

Don't.

You know, when I told you about
my little mud wrestling fantasy,

this isn't exactly how I pictured it.

I fell down the hill
looking for cell service.

In the movies, it's zany...
it did not feel zany.

Look, why don't I run you a
bath, we'll get you cleaned up

and once you're clean, I'll join
you and we'll get dirty again.

You know, Cody told me
that everyone was going

to the doctor's office... what
do you think that means?

I don't know, maybe Jonah
Breeland's having one

of his famous poker games.

But those are my patients.

What if he's not even any good?

Or worse yet, what if he is?

Face it, Doc,

the whole town's been treating
you like Princess Leia

at a  Star Wars  convention,
and you love it.

Okay, well, yeah, so what if I do?

Well, I'm just trying to spend
some quality time with you

and you're so desperate for
your fans' attention...

There is nothing wrong with enjoying it

when people appreciate your work.

All right, but it's a fine
line between enjoying it

and being addicted to
it is all I'm saying.

It's called "career satisfaction."

And you would understand that if you...

That came out wrong.

Oh.

Look, why don't I take you home?

Wade.

A toast to a delicious
dinner with my daughters

and my girlfriend.

I can't imagine

a more perfect birthday.

And the night is still young.

Yes, it is.

Mm...

Will you excuse us? We
need to go cut the cake.

Mm. What?

I'm getting excited now.

Aren't they too cute?
Don't you love her dress?

Why did I just get an Evite to
my own father's surprise party?

I was waiting to surprise you, too,

but I convinced Shelby to
pop out of a giant cake

I borrowed from Dash DeWitt

and serenade Daddy with a sexy song.

Magnolia!

And don't even ask

why Dash has a giant prop cake.

I just somehow knew he would.

No, you didn't.

Yes, I did.

Oh, Lemon, it'll be such a scandal.

Daddy will have to dump Shelby
in order to keep his patients.

What is wrong with you?

Daddy specifically told us that
this would hurt his practice.

Well, I decided our happiness
was more important than his.

I learned it from you.

I thought you'd be proud.

Well, I'm not proud.

Not of you and particularly
not of me, okay?

I am not that person anymore.

I am better than that. And so are you.

Oh, girls.

Jonah just called, he said
Clive Baker's appendix

is about to burst,

which is odd because I
removed it when he was 12.

I'm gonna get my bag,

and Shelby's gonna drive
me to the office.

But do not cut that
cake till I get back.

I'll talk to her.

Plan in motion... I'll
see you at the party.

Shelby, wait.

I've been thinking and your sexy
cake dance tonight might be

a terrible idea.

Oh, you're nervous for me.

Don't be... I'm really talented.

I lied to you before.

Daddy cancelled his party
'cause he's worried

he'll lose his patients
when they find out

you two are dating.

Oh.

So this was your plan to get rid of me?

I'm sorry.

I'm 15... we make very poor decisions.

You can look it up.

Mm-hmm, okay, well, thank you
for bringing me up to speed.

Ready?

Bye now.

Bye, wh... Wait.

Wait, so...

What does that even mean?

Yeah, well, thank you
very much, Sheriff Bill.

Just call me if you hear
anything, all right?

Thanks.

Dolly Parton!

Dolly.

Dolly?

Hey.

Dolly?

Okay, all right.

It's all right, girl, it's all right.

We're gonna get you out of there.

You just got to come over here.

Scared of water, that's right.
Okay, hey.

Hey, hey, girl, listen, hey.

Look, it's not so bad.

I'm coming.

It's not so bad... the
water's not so bad.

Oh, oh, oh, oh... how's that song go?

Ah, this is ridiculous.

♪ Jolene, Jolene ♪

♪ Jolene, Jolene ♪

♪ I'm begging of you ♪

♪ Please don't take my man ♪

It's not enough?

You're gonna make me sing
this whole thing, aren't you?

I'm singing to a dog.

♪ Jolene, Jolene ♪

♪ Jolene, Jolene ♪

♪ Please don't take him
just because you can. ♪

That's it, girl. That's it, whoo.

All right. Oh, good girl.

Good girl.

Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.

Yeah, ah, oh, my goodness, oh.

Wade...

that came out all wrong.

You know that I'm sorry, right?

I know.

I'm just gonna go check on Jonah

and then I'll meet you
back at your place?

Take your time.

I can't believe you people.

I worked my butt off getting
you through the flu.

I stayed up three nights in
a row making house calls.

I even neglected my own
relationship. Why?

Because I felt needed.

I felt appreciated.

Then this guy comes to town,

you toss me aside like
last season's sweaters.

Shame on you bluebell, shame on you.

What is going on here?

Surprise!

Surprise.

Happy Birthday, Brick.

I'm just gonna... go...

over in the corner.

Lemon, have you seen Shelby?

Please tell me that you spoke to her

and she's not gonna humiliate us all

with a burlesque routine.

Well, I did speak to her,

and I told her I didn't think the cake

was a good idea.

And?

And I'm sure everything will be fine.

Okay, crisis averted.

Lesson learned.

Uh, Magnolia,

I'm sorry.

Can I have a minute with Lemon?

Mm-hmm.

So?

How was your date with Jonah?

Can I be the maid of honor

at your wedding because
I prepared a toast,

and it is a real weeper.

Lemon, we need to talk.

Those feelings I had for
Lavon during the election...

I still have them.

And lately there's been
this spark between us.

It-it took me completely by surprise,

I promise.

Something already happened
between you two, hasn't it?

Yes.

I'm so sorry.

You... say something.

Anything, please.

I have been trying...

so hard

to be a very kind

and forgiving person.

But right now, I'm feeling
like I want to do something

very unladylike.

You were the only person

who knew how I really felt.

And I don't think that
I can ever look at you

the same way again.

All right, see to... Oh, Lemon.

Lemon, I know I said I
didn't want a party,

but I am really having fun.

But where's Shelby?

Daddy, um...

Happy birthday!

♪ Never know how much I love you ♪

♪ Never know how much I care ♪

♪ When you put your arms around me ♪

♪ I get a fever that's
so hard to bear ♪

♪ You give me fever ♪

♪ When you kiss me ♪

♪ Fever when you hold me tight ♪

♪ Fever ♪

♪ In the morning ♪

♪ And fever all through the night... ♪

Whoo.

Well, this party just got weirder.

♪ You give me fever ♪

♪ When you kiss me ♪

♪ Fever when you hold me tight ♪

♪ Fever! ♪

God, I miss bluebell.

Bluebell misses you, too, clearly.

It's hard to leave a place like this.

Thank God Dash's blog
keeps me connected.

You know, and he's always
mentioning this mythical Zoe Hart.

Shut up. He does?

All I've heard since you
arrived in bluebell

is how amazing you are,

how much you've done for this town,

blah, blah, blah.

Even Brick will admit it

if he's drunk enough.

Whoa.

♪ Give us fever... ♪

♪ When we kiss it... ♪

So you can relax.

You're beloved.

Thank you.

Thank you for letting me sub today.

You know, I never
considered coming back here

and opening up shop.

Maybe I should.

It's kind of rewarding.

It is,

but we've got plenty of doctors,

so thank you.

And more than enough Breelands.

Mm-hmm.

♪ What a lovely way ♪

♪ To burn. ♪

Uh, everyone,

um, this is Shelby,

my girlfriend.

They love her.

Your plan was total amateur hour.

You played right into her strengths.

Well, I was counting on you,

but you had to be all Lemon 2.0.

Who am I kidding?

At best I am Lemon 1.5.

Don't you worry.

She won't be our new stepmother.

Oh, thank God. Can you imagine

having to spend Christmas
with that woman?

Oh, gracious, no.

She'd figure out a way to pop
out of a Christmas turkey.

George, I'm com...

How is she?

She had a tough day,

but she's, uh,

she's gonna be just fine.

Dolly, baby, I missed you so much.

Look,

Tansy, I, uh,

I know that a lot of guys
have disappointed you

in the past, but I will not do that.

Listen, Dolly Parton is...

She's not the only one you
can count on anymore.

I am so...

turned on right now.

So am I.

But you're gonna have to move her,

because she's too cute,

and I can't do it.

She is, isn't she?

Oh, oh.

I come in peace

with a bouquet of apologies.

Next time, try bourbon.

You were right.

I have been putting work
before our relationship,

which is why I booked
us a room next weekend

at the Whippoorwill Blossom.

Wow.

No phones. Have you ever done
it on a four-poster bed?

Nope. Did it in a pet
cemetery one time.

Didn't ask.

I feel really bad about what I said,

about you not having had...

A career.

You're right, you know?

And I never looked forward
to going into work.

Except when I was working on this.

Plans for your bar?

Don't know why I gave up on it.

But you know, I...

I think I might be willing
to give it another shot.

I'm sorry, Lavon, but no.

Whatever this is, it has to end now.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.

No.

I should never have slept with you.

It was wrong.

We-we make each other happy.

You said so.

I don't deserve to be happy...

until I can win back Lemon's trust.

Just so you know, I
turned off my phone.

Well,

I'll toast to that.

I'm not thirsty.

Oh, well, come here.

Don't get that.

They can call Brick.

Hey, you guys in there?

It's me, Lavon.

I just got dumped.

Oh. No.

Help me eat my feelings.

I am a former NFL player.

It shouldn't be this hard to find love.

When do I get to be happy?

Chocolate?

Yeah. It might help.

Can I have a bite?