Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 6, Episode 24 - Mork Returns - full transcript

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪



♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪



Okay, everybody, now hurry up.

Remember, Marion will be home

from Mother Kelp's
at any minute.

All right, she's here!

- Hide!
- Hide, quick!

Okay, we got to hide.

Yoo-hoo, is anybody home?

Surprise!

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪

♪ Happy birthday dear... ♪

♪ Marion, Ha... ♪

Oh, come on, you got to fin...

Mom?

Sweet Knees, you got
to... you got to finish, you...

Oh, boy.

Mork from Ork.

Nanu, Nanu,

Nanu, Nanu, baby!

It's Mork from Ork.

It's Mork, he...

Mork! Mork, where are you?

Hey, Mork! Dad, it...

Never mind.

Uh, Mork? Hello?

Mork, I don't know where...

Hello, guy, new in town?

I knew it, Mork.

I knew it was you. I
mean, when they were,

♪ Happy Birthday... ♪
and then you did,

I knew it was you.

Greetings, Cunningham.

I bring you greetings
from the Cosmic Congress,

The Stellar
Confederation and Mindy.

Is that a heavenly body?
Oh, she must have something,

because I'd be willing to
walk ten miles in the snow

to stand in her garbage.

Yeah, well.

It's, uh, really good
to see you again.

Good to see you, too, Earthling.

- Yeah.
- Slip me two.

- Oh, yeah.
- Nanu, Nanu.

So what brings
you back to Earth?

Oh, I don't have to
come back to Earth.

I live on Earth
in the year 1979.

- You live in the future?
- Oh, yes.

Yeah, well, hey, tell
me, what's it like in 1979?

Well, number one,
the air is thicker.

The birds wake up in
the morning and go...

What am I going to be in 1979?

Well, Mr. President...

Hey, just kidding,
let's get real about this.

Oh.

Well, uh, then who is president?

Well, do you like peanuts?

I can take them or leave them.

Then you'll like Jimmy.

- Do you remember Nixon?
- Oh, yeah, whatever...

Don't ask.

Well, what brings you
back here, anyway?

Well, I've been having trouble
adjusting to life on Earth.

I was talking to
myself the other day,

so I said to myself,
myself said "Huh?"

I want to go back to Earth time

when life was simpler,
when things were...

Humdrum.

Wow, fantastic, it's
a Gestalt happening.

Be here now. Let's join up.

So, I want to go
back to the '50s,

where life was slower,
so I can learn faster.

Yeah, well that's probably
a pretty good idea,

but I got to tell you, I'm not
as humdrum as I used to be.

I'm the science editor
on the school paper now.

I got my own, my
own new set of wheels.

Spent the whole
summer at a dude ranch.

I mean, I am very, very...

humdrum. What do
you need to know?

I'd like to know
about... relationships.

Boy-girl?

No, I'd like to work
that one out myself.

Well, it is kind of fun.

But I can tell you
about friends...

and family.

We've got a great relationship.

Oh, tell me about that.

I once had a wonderful
relationship with R-14.

- She died?
- No, I dropped her.

She was a test tube.
Not a very pretty sight,

- kind of...
- Oh.

Well, I can tell you what I
know about relationships.

You don't have to tell me.

You just have to think
it, and I'll pick it up.

Watch.

Well, for a real friend,
you'd do just about anything.

Telling me who I
can have for friends?

- That's supposed to be shaping me?
- Rich...

The next thing
you're going to do,

you're going to tell me I can't
talk to my friend Fonzie here?

Or my sister, Joanie,

- because she's not an Iota?
- Cunningham...

And maybe I don't
want to be number one.

Maybe not at those prices.

Cunningham, do you
know what you're doing?

Yes, sir.

I'm dumping you, sir.

I am Richie Cunningham,

and these are my friends.

So you can just put that
in your Phi Kappa and...

Nu on it!

They all said you were so tough.

You are the last
of the ducktails

and leather jackets.

Oh, yeah? What about me, Kirk?

You might even run
me out of town, Kirk.

But there'll be another
one to take my place.

And another one.

You won't be able
to get rid of us.

They'll come from
all walks of life.

Store owners!

Children!

Teenagers!

Housewives!

They'll be everywhere, Kirk.

Merchants, and townspeople.

Till at last there'll be a
sea of leather jackets.

And they'll put
an end to tyranny

and injustice
throughout the world.

Well, that's very interesting
and very humdrum,

but I need to know more.

All right, all right.

- Take my sister, Joanie.
- All right.

No, Mork, no.

No, I didn't mean take her.

I, well, put the
fingers in the ears,

and I'll tell you
something about Joanie.

Who is this girl Jenny Picalow?

Sounds like a good
time for anybody.

Now, Joanie was
real easy to handle

when she was a little girl.

But then, uh, well,
what can I tell you?

She grew up.

Definitely not!

You are too young to car date.

But Richie was younger
than me when you let him go.

Tell him, Mom.

Yes, he was younger.

Well, that's different.

I mean, Richard is a-a-a boy.

Oh, what's that
got to do with it?

Yes, dear, she's right.

What has that got to with it?

Marion, get over here.

Didn't you have a talk
with her about that?

Oh, that!

Well, I told her everything.

Everything?

Well, everything I
could remember.

Hey, great costume.

Are you going as
the Statue of Liberty?

I'm Julius Caesar.

What do you think of it?

No wonder they stabbed him.

She's getting such a
fresh mouth, Marion.

She's starting to sound
just like your mother.

Yeah.

You're starting
to dress like her.

- See you later!
- Howard.

Hold it, hold it!

Come over here.

What is this?

Who is this?

Well, do you dig it?

No, but I might bury it.

But for a kid sister,
Joanie's great.

Whoa. I still respect you.

No, uh, Mork,

that-that's nothing.

That's just a balloon.

Oh, don't you have uh, you know,

round things full of
hot air in the '70s?

Yes, but they're called
game show hosts.

Well, uh, anyway, are
you beginning to get,

you know, some idea
about relationships?

Yes, but I need to know
more. What about parents?

Oh, all right, I'll tell you
about Mom and Dad.

All right.

Their relationship is so good.

They can work out
just about anything.

Howard, Jerry Helper was
not doing his Quasimoto joke.

Marion, that man asked me

to swing from the dinner bell!

I'll never straighten up!

Look on the bright side.

Now, you just relax.

I'm going to go upstairs
and take a nice, warm bath,

and put on some
Valentine perfume,

slip into something comfortable,

daring,

frisky!

Frisky?

It's not going to be any fun

watching the Green Bay
Packers play all by myself.

I'll watch.

I love basketball.

How about a grape?

- Marion!
- Oh, that's it.

Get rough with me!

Kootchie kootchy koo!

Stop it!

- Kootchy, kootchy koo.
- Stop it!

No, no, I'm not
laughing at you, Floyd.

Marion, will you go out

and feed the camel,
for goodness sake?

Isn't it a lot more
comfortable way to chat?

Well, no.

The blood is rushing to my head.

I can't hear you, the
blood's rushing to my head.

You want to hear more
about relationships?

Go on, please.

Okay.

Now, sometimes it's confusing,

knowing who your friends are.

Let me tell you what I mean.

♪ Oh, stop what you're doing ♪

♪ And look at what you've done ♪

♪ Listen to my
heart cry for you ♪

♪ Stop all your fooling ♪

♪ Oh, look what you've begun ♪

♪ Listen to my
heart sigh for you ♪

♪ And if you stop,
look, and listen to me ♪

♪ The whole world of
happiness could be ours ♪

♪ And if you stop,
look, and listen ♪

♪ I'd feel like a garden
kiss with flowers ♪

♪ Stop... ♪

Potsie! Look at those girls.

Is this a dorm or a kennel?

♪ Make me fall
in love with you. ♪

Potsie, look!

What a strange way
to deal with things.

You see on Ork,
we just send away

for their spare
parts and they...

Whoa! It's him again!

Fonzie, my man,

come back here right now. Nyah,

nyah, nyah, nyah,

nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah.

Nice visual, huh?

Nyah, nyah.

Why does he want to
leave? Did I bum him out?

Is he no longer my friend?
Why did he want to split?

Oh, no. Sure, he's your
friend. He-he likes you.

I-I-I think you make
him a little nervous.

Oh, he's afraid.

Heyyyy.

What a worthy opponent.
He can hear, he can speak.

I shall make him
walk now. Watch.

Nyah!

I hate it when
you do that to me.

Fonz, uh, Mork came here to, uh,

find out about relationships.

- He's right, leather bound one.
- All right.

Then conversate
with me. Just don't

point nothing at me, all right?

- All right.
- Holy tomato!

How long have
they been like that?

Oh, not too long.

When they come out of it,

they'll return just
as normal as new.

You mean, they're in your power?

Maybe I should exercise
them now. Watch.

Could I do that?

Want to use my finger?

Nah, I'd rather use my own.

All right, I'll give
you the power.

Was it good for you?

Knocked my socks off.

Ah!

Hey, Chach?

That's great.

That-that's great!

Mork, I got to do that.

That's fantastic, Mork.

Please?

Whoa, twice in one night.

- Whew!
- I got it.

Fonz, now we both
have the power.

Okay. Right.

- Uh, Lori Beth, - All
right, Ralph and Pots,

- ballet.
- Here we go!

Mom, Dad?

Hey, Al, Joanie, it's
pretty good. Better get in it.

Anything you want.

Wait, wait...

wait, stop!

Stop! You're abusing the power!

Wait a minute, wait a minute!

This is not Disneyworld!

Whoa!

There's another fine
mess you've gotten me into.

You're right, we should get back

to what we were
talking about. Okay.

All right, um, uh, Fonz?

A-As I was telling you, we
were talking about relationships.

Yeah! Oh, hey, listen.
Cunningham and I have got

a long standing relationship.
You know, like friends?

Yeah.

Paula Petrulunga
is waiting for me.

That's another
kind of relationship

- if you get my drift.
- Yeah.

Whoa, all right. Tell
him about it, will you?

Yeah.

Mork?

You came all the way
down here from Ork?

Oh, no. He-he's
living on the Earth now.

Only in the future. 1979.

"In the future"? Two
things I got to know.

Cars and girls.

In 1979... both are faster.

"Both faster"?

Whoa, whoa!

On the rebound, my man!

Wow, what a mellow dude.

Tell me more about this Fonz.

Oh, yeah.

Well, the things
he's done, I mean,

even you wouldn't
believe it. I...

All right, come on with the...

The first time I saw the
Fonz was at Arnold's.

He wasn't too crazy about me.

Something I could do for you?

Oh, well, I-I guess not.

And then, things got worse.

You ever street fight before?

- Yeah, yeah...
- You tell me when!

- I've mixed it up a few times.
- When?

- In the third grade, once...
- Oh, yeah?

That's what I thought.

Well, I can't remember them all.

Then we became best friends.

And he was always
there when I needed him.

Hey, hey! Do you know
what I'm gonna to you?

What?

I'm gonna pop you one,
so you'll stop playing games!

Now, I would let him go

unless you want to
make medical history.

You guys do what
you have to do, but, uh,

I just want you to know
that you're dealing with, uh,

- Iron Dukes Cunningham!
- Yeah!

Aw, throw him in the locker.

Right.

Well, if it ain't the
turkey and his feathers!

Fonz is fantastic.

He can do anything.

♪ Don't believe
those rumors flyin'.. ♪

♪ All about ♪

♪ Hup! ♪

♪ You're the only one for me ♪

♪ Just love me,
yessirree, when in doubt ♪

♪ Oh, kiss me you
know by now, oh! ♪

♪ When in doubt
kiss me, whoa, yeah! ♪

♪ Just relax, those
are the facts ♪

♪ We'll sing and shout yeah ♪

♪ Took the world
for all to learn ♪

♪ That my love
will forever burn ♪

♪ When in doubt kiss
me you know by now ♪

♪ You know that
kiss, kiss, kiss me ♪

♪ And you're really far out. ♪

Whoa.

Yeah.

What fun you Earthlings have.

Oh, we have fun, but, you know,

relationships do not
always go smooth.

I mean, we have fights.

Well, lay it on me.

Fights are expected
in a good relationship.

Put 'em up, you...

you nerd!

"Nerd"?

Marion, do this!
Marion, do that!

You want your dinner?
I'll get your dinner!

You got it. I'll
get your dinner.

I've done it a thousand times.
I can do it with my eyes closed.

Here is... your salad...

your vegetable... your meat.

Live it up!

Put 'em up!

Okay, Pots!

I've been waiting for this
ever since we moved in here.

Now to-tonight, you're
gonna be brushing your gums!

Wait, wait!

Look!

- Oh! Oh!
- Yay!

Yeah, Ralph! All right, Ralph!

- Yes!
- All right, Ralphie!

Wait! Wait!

Look! Look!

See?

Can we talk about it later?

Yeah, you bet we'll
talk about this later.

Tomorrow, okay?
I'll meet you right here

a half hour before we
go to the roadhouse.

All right, you better be here.

And you better be ready to
do some fast talking, woman!

See, we fight, but true friends

always make up.

Yeah, but what I
really want to say is

that I am very, uh, sah-sah...

Richie, I am sincerely...

sah-zah-huh.

Fonz, you don't have
to say you're sorry.

Good, I won't.

You've been a wonderful mother

and a beautiful
wife, and I was a fool

not to listen to you
and try and help.

Well, I'd have to
go back to school.

What's wrong with that?

Well, but, Howard,

then I wouldn't have
time to take care of you.

You think you might find

the time to make some pot roast?

Every Sunday.

With the little teeny potatoes?

Yes! Yes!

Sometimes making up
can lead to other things, too.

Marsha, Linda and
I were wondering

if you guys would like to, uh,

make out?

- You want to eat pie or kiss?
- Oh!

Oh, Wilma, your
skin is so smooth.

Hands off! That's me!

Why don't you and
I go to the movies?

Oh, no, I-I couldn't..

What's playing?

Oh, now I understand.

Thank you.
It's-it's just so easy.

Oh, so-so now you think
you understand relationships?

- Oh, very, very much.
- Uh-huh.

It's just very simple. Now
I know how to have one.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, Mork! Oh!

Shoot, Mork!

Oh?
- No, no.

- It's just that...
- I did wrong?

Well, yeah, you
don't go around...

I'm glad they didn't see that.

You need to spend a
little more time on Earth.

Oh, I guess you're right.

- It's a very complicated planet.
- Yeah, huh...

There's a lot of
things I've got to learn.

But thank you for
your help anyway.

- That's okay.
- You've been fantastic.

And I have to run right
now because I have to catch

- the express egg, the scrambler.
- Oh.

Are you gonna, uh, you
know, disappear now?

Yes.

I have this fantastic
new way of doing it.

Yeah?

- Look, over there!
- Wha...?

Hey...

Kind of a letdown.

Mom?

Mork! You forgot to...

♪ Marion ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪

Aw!

Thank you, everybody!

I'll never forget this day!

Neither will I.

♪ Mork calling, Orson. ♪

♪ Come in, Orson. ♪

- ♪ Mork calling Or... ♪
- I'm here, Mork.

Yo, Orson.

But this isn't
your day to report.

I know that, sir.
I'm doing a spin-on

to pay back for my spin-off.

That's why I went
back to the 1950s.

Wow, Tommy, that's a really
boss car, but what a drag.

You put Vaseline
instead of 30 weight.

But it's gonna have a really
nice D.A. for a carburetor.

Tommy, I'll still respect you.

Wow, Mary Lou, that's a switch.

You seem to like the '50s.

Oh, yes, sir, it's a wonderful
naïve and romantic time.

That's why I'm sending
you this report on friendship.

Whew!

Oh, talk about your express.
You saved me a stamp there.

You see, I went back to visit

the Cunninghams
and their friends.

They're really nice people,
but a little mondo mundane.

You know, I'm talking
white bread and mayonnaise.

They all seem to block
out one thing though.

Senator McCarthy.

Ah, yes. Those were sad days.

Yeah, I guess so.

I guess that's why
it's so romantic,

because they never
remember the sad things.

Well, this is
Mork, spinning off.

♪ Isn't it romantic ♪

♪ Merely to be young ♪

♪ On such a night ♪

♪ As this ♪

♪ Isn't it romantic ♪

♪ Every note that's sung ♪

♪ Is like a lover's kiss ♪

♪ Sweet symbols ♪

♪ In the moonlight ♪

♪ Do you mean that I ♪

♪ Will fall in love ♪

♪ Per chance? ♪

Hi!

♪ Isn't it ♪

♪ Romantic? ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and
rollin' all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪