Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 6, Episode 23 - Fonzie's Funeral: Part 2 - full transcript

Fonzie has survived the explosion by getting behind a large metal filing cabinet. He & Richie then return to the Cunningham's home. With the help of the family and local police,they devise a way to not only rescue Ralph & Potsie but to foil the Candyman & his henchmen once and for all. By having a fake ceremony for the late Fonzerelli!

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪



♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪



In part one, Fonzie
was repairing a hearse

and discovered
counterfeit money hidden

in the coffin.

Fonzie decides to
return the hearse

before going to the police.

But when Fonzie doesn't
show up for dinner,

Richie gets worried and
convinces Ralph and Potsie

they should all look for him

at the Heavenly
Slumber Funeral Parlor.

There they
discover it's the front

for a famed criminal
genius, "The Candy Man".

Now the Candy
Man is after Fonzie

because he knows too much.

Ralph and Potsie are captured.

Richie races to warn Fonzie

that the Candy
Man's out to get him.

Fonzie! Fonzie!

Fonz!

Fonzie, Fonzie, you're alive!

- You're alive!
- I'm alive.

Oh! You're alive!

- All right, hold it, hold it.
- Right.

Of course, I'm alive.

Just a little
gasoline explosion.

Gasoline explosion nothing.

Those counterfeiters are
trying to kill you, Fonzie.

That was no gasoline explosion.

All right, all right,
all right, all right.

- I'm telling you.
- Slow, slow.

All right.

I want to hear every word.

All right.

- I overheard them, Fonz.
- Yeah?

And you know the
Candy Man, the...

- Yeah.
- And the other, the...

- and-and the tall...
- Yeah.

They know that-that you
took the money out of the coffin

and they're trying
to silence you, Fonz.

I mean, they're trying
to silence you for good.

All right, all right.
They hushed me.

They didn't silence me.

How in the world did
you even survive this?

Well, because at the
time of the explosion,

I was behind my
address book, whoa.

Yeah, whoa and...

Yes. Hey, Richie.

- Yeah.
- Let me tell you something.

Those guys are beginning to
make me a little angry, you know?

Cherry lollipop!

Cherry lollipop.

Report.

We blew him up, Candy Man.

Fonzarelli the mechanic

is now at the corner
of Fourth and Main.

And Fifth and Main,

and Sixth and Main.

Now listen carefully.

I want you to go
to the secret room,

get those two clowns we tied
up and have them call home.

We're going to let
you boys call home

so your folks don't worry.

The Candy Man doesn't
want anybody to miss you

and come nosing around here.

You do want to go
home, don't you?

Oh, sure, my father'll
probably talk to me

since I'm all tied up.

I'll call home.

My mother worries
if I stay out late.

What's your name, kid?

Cunningham.

Ralph Cunningham.

Dial.

I should've brought
my rubber nose.

I'll get it.

Hello.

Oh, hello, Ralph.

Howard, he called me Mom.

Who called you Mom?

Well, Ralph Malph, dear.

What is it, Ralph?

- He did it again, Howard.
- Okay, let me...

Ralph, what's going on?

He just called me Dad.

Look, Ralph, will you
stop clowning and...

What's that?

You won't be home tonight?

And Potsie won't
be home tonight.

And your nose hurts.

All right, good night, son.

What am I saying?

Oh, Arthur, look at you!

Richard, what happened?

There was a blast tonight.

You two, you always have
such a good time together.

Mr. C., Mrs. C., let
me tell you something.

Your son's talking the truth.

We're talking
boomsville, you know?

Glass shattering, smoke.

The counterfeiters tried
to blow up Fonzie's garage

with Fonzie in it.

Well, now how do
you know it was them?

Tell them, Rich.

Because I overheard them

when I was laying
in the casket, Dad.

Blown up, casket...

Oh, this is such
a confusing night.

Now will you just start
from the beginning?

No, Mom, no, I got
to call the police now.

- Yeah.
- I'm gonna reheat the hot chocolate.

That's what I do the best
when things are confusing.

From the looks of Fonzie,

he needs something
a lot stronger.

You're not kidding.

Those small marshmallows.

Oh, they're in the, in the
cupboard there, Arthur.

Yeah.

Oh, Jiminy Crickets, what now?

Hello, Operator,
I need the police.

Uh, Peterson, Treasury.

Yes, I know, I know.
Come on in, Mr. Peterson.

Oh, this is my son Richard.

Richard, this is Mr. Peterson
of the Treasury Department.

Uh, Peterson, Treasury.

Oh, hi.

Well, thanks anyway,
but I got a T-man.

Oh, boy, am I glad to see you.

Uh, uh, please, I have
a sad duty to perform.

Arthur Fonzarelli was blown up.

If it's any consolation,

I assure you
he-he didn't suffer.

He merely died.

Hey, want some hot chocolate?

- Uh, no thanks, I'm on duty.
- Oh, all right.

It's a good thing 'cause
it's got marshmallows in it.

- You!
- Me!

You're alive!

What was your first clue?

But how?

How?

He was standing
behind his address book

at the time of the explosion.

One little address book?

Nah, six four-drawer
steel filing cabinets.

Fonzie knows a lot of girls.

Oh, I figured it out.

Yes, I know, Peterson.

Nice picture.

You figured what
out, sweetheart?

Ralph and Potsie's phone call.

What about Ralph and Potsie?

Oh, Ralph called up here

pretending he was
Ralph Cunningham.

- It's not important.
- Yes, it is.

They went with me to the
Heavenly Slumber Funeral Parlor.

Now, now, Fonz, you
don't suppose that they, uh...

They got their hands on
Ralph and Potsie, right?

- Right.
- We're going down there.

We're gonna add three
more stiffs to their inventory.

- Yeah, that's a good idea.
- No.

- No?
- No.

Thanks a lot, T-man.

All right, look,

Candy Man thinks
I'm dead, right?

- Right.
- All right.

What's the best way to
get into a funeral parlor?

Having a funeral,
even if it is mine.

- We catch Candy Man with the goods.
- Right.

We save Ralph and
Potsie and, you know,

they were saying that they want

their next shipment
to go to Detroit.

That's great, Rich.

Look, we just tell
them that our loved one,

which happens to be me,

wants to be buried in Detroit.

Great plan.

Now, wait a minute.

I'll admit that
it's a good plan,

but, you know, it could
be very dangerous.

It's for your country.

Dad, look, Ralph and Potsie

are in trouble and look
what they did to Fonzie.

Yeah, they mussed my hair.

Besides, you guys are
gonna have the funeral parlor

under surveillance
at all times, right?

That's right.

Well, why not?

We're such good citizens.

One last thing.

No one must know
that Fonzarelli's alive.

No one outside
this house can know.

That funeral has to
look as real as possible.

If the Candy Man finds out,
we're all in a lot of danger.

Candy Man.

Candy Man, we should finish
printing the money by 1:00.

Perfect.

The train to Detroit
leaves at 4:00.

Boss, how're we gonna
send the shipment?

We ain't got a
body in the coffin.

Yoo-hoo!

Anybody home?

Hi.

We'd like to bury a friend.

My assistant will
be glad to show you

to another funeral parlor.

We're all booked up.

Oh, it would be a
very short ceremony.

The actual burial
would be in Detroit.

- Detroit! -Detroit.
- Detroit!

Detroit.

Perhaps we could fit you in.

Uh, where is the loved one?

Well, he's in here.

In there?!

There was an explosion.

This is all that's left
of Arthur Fonzarelli.

Fonza...

Relli.

We'd like to have
the funeral fast.

- Right away.
- Right away?

Well, there should be
a period of mourning.

You're right, dear.

How about after lunch?

Perfect.

My assistant will give
you all the arrangements.

Come, Eugene.

Are you the next of kin?

No, we're making
arrangements for his mother.

- Oh.
- I'll get her.

Ah, his mother.

Yes, the Widow Fonzarelli.

Come in, dear.

Is this the guy that
tried to blow me up?

Uh-huh.

Are you the man that is going

to make the
arrangements for my son?

Yes, it is, Widow Fonzarelli.

That's nice.

Widow?

Widow, cool it.

I was so overcome.

If you'll walk this way, please.

As you can see,
we have a variety

of caskets here at
Heavenly Slumber.

I was a-thinking about something

in the memory of
Arturo in leather.

Leather?

With a zipper.

If somebody
doesn't find us soon,

we're gonna die!

- Fonzie!
- Oh, please let us...

It's incredible!

Girls lined up as far
as the eye can see.

This is the first funeral

they ever had to have
a, uh, parade permit.

Shh!

Let's do something.

- Hm?
- Pay our respects.

Oh, Howard, look,
they're so shiny and lifelike.

Just think,

I'll never hear the
word "Shortcake" again.

Joanie, it's just
a pretend funeral.

I know, but I don't want to
let a good funeral go to waste.

Oh, Arthur, I'm gonna miss you.

Remember the time
you missed dinner?

I forgive you.

- I didn't mean to be so upset.
- Marion...

- And I loved doing your laundry.
- Marion!

- I loved it!
- Sit down.

You were terrific, Mrs. C.

Thank you, Arthur.

I feel much better.

All right, keep looking.

Psst!

We've got to stall.

So far we've
searched the premises,

and we still can't
locate the printing press.

When we do, I'll
give you the signal.

Okay.

Oh.

What about Ralph and Potsie?

You think they're gonna be okay?

As long as they don't
try anything foolish.

Oh.

They're taking long enough.

We don't want to
miss that 4:00 train.

Hurry them up!

We have to move it along.

We have a lot of bodies waiting.

Let the mourners in.

- Help!
- Help, help!

Help! Get me out of here.

His boots look so peaceful.

And the music's so fitting.

All of Fonzie's favorite songs.

Oh, Widow Fonzarelli,
I'm sorry that he...

that he...

It's a all right.

We'll comfort each other.

Oh, my, what strong
arms you have.

And what soft lips you have.

It's all the better
to give you a kiss.

Oh, you have lips like your son.

It runs in the family.

That was a close one.

- Will you stop it!
- Sorry.

Yep, yep, yep, yep.

Oh, the Fonz was
always so good to me.

I never really get a
chance to thank him.

Me, too.

We have to be brave
at a time like this.

I know, I know.

Oh, boy, I remember

the very last
things he say to me.

I was backing out
of the parking lot

of Arnold's for the last time.

The Fonz look at me and he say,

"Don't run over my motorcycle!"

Oh, that was beautiful.

How's business, Al?

Don't ask.

Come to pay your last respects,

Officer Kirk?

I came to make sure you
buried the troublemaking hood.

Aaayyh...

Aaayyh.

Who's that?

Uh, that's the Widow Fonzarelli.

Thank you so much for
a-coming to my son's a-funeral.

Hey, Blue Eyes.

What do you say
after the funeral,

we go to a double feature?

Me and me.

I don't go to cartoon festivals.

Well, Fonz,

that was from the
Big Ragoo to you.

I know that's the way
you would've wanted it.

Pots, I said to the right.

- This is the right.
- You're such a Potsie!

Squigg, his boots
died with him off.

I'm gonna miss you, Fonz.

You was the nicest guy

whatever beat me up.

Where is he, Shirl?

I-I don't know.

Honestly.

The big boss must have really
wanted him in a hurry, Laverne.

Pulled him right
out of his boots.

I'll never forget him.

He was the only guy

who ever hickeyed
his initials on my neck.

That's so sweet.

You can't keep
the boot, Laverne.

- I want the boot.
- You can't keep the boot.

- I want the boot. I want the boot.
- Drop the boot!

Listen to me, listen to me.

Do you want Fonzie
to stand barefoot

on that great stag
line in the sky, huh?

No, he'd kill me.

Oh, but I got to leave
him something, Shirl.

Well, how about...

No!

You crazy?!

My favorite sweater!

No, no! No, are you nuts?

This is a holy place!

This is a holy place.

But I want to leave
him something.

There, that'll be enough.

Good-bye, Fonzie's boots.

Have a nice trip.

Hello, Mr. Cunningham.

Uh, this is the
Widow Fonzarelli.

Does she know?

We're very sorry.

Yes.

We're out of time, boss.

Finish this ceremony!

Uh, no,

we-we haven't sung a hymn yet.

Hymns are extra.

Cut the hymns.

Move out! Move out! Move out!

One, two...

Potsie?

- Yeah.
- I said three, not two.

Can't you even count?

Would you stop yelling at me?

I get excited and I can't think,

so come on, let's just try
it one more time, okay?

- Potsie?
- Hmm?

How come your voice
isn't muffled like mine?

Because I'm tired of talking
through this gag, that's why.

I'm ti...

Hey, Malph,

Malph, my arm is free.

Way to go, arm.

Well, it's too bad
you had to go, kid,

but better you than us.

So long, chump.

The chump lives.

I've been had!

Now, where are my buddies, huh?

You balloon, you don't
give them to me soon,

and I'm gonna pop you.

- Fonz!
- Fonz!

Fonz, we're out!

- We got out!
- Wait a minute, hold it!

How'd you do that?

Oh, Fonz, it's great.

All you got to do is
just sit here in the seat.

It's great, we got to get one
of these at Arnold's, Fonz.

That was a secret panel, I
understand, I understand.

Sticky!

Eugene!

The mechanic... alive!

You fool! You fools, get him!

- Come on.
- Come on.

Come on!

Make room for me.

All right, let's go!

You found the printing press!

Wait a second,
where's Fonzarelli?

- With them.
- He can't handle the Candy Man.

The Fonz can.

I knew he could do it.

Tell you something.

Those creeps ate
all the marshmallows.

Hey, thanks very much.

I'm sorry I had to
put you through this.

Thanks for coming.

Hey, I'm real sorry I had
to put you through this.

Thanks for coming.

I have an announcement to make.

In honor of Fonzie being alive,

we're staying open
one extra hour tonight!

- Hey, Rich.
- Hmm?

Want to tell me the part about
how you captured the Candy Man?

Well, I didn't, you know...

Why don't we talk about
it at Inspiration Point?

- Hey, Jennifer.
- Hmm?

Jennifer, let's you and I go

to Inspiration Point, huh?

Oh, good idea, Potsie.

Yeah, you can tie me up, and
I'll show you how I escaped.

What about me?

I was there, too.

Joanie, Joanie,
don't you want to hear

how I helped capture
the Candy Man?

Right, Ralph.

Right after I tell you about
my date with Ricky Nelson.

She's dating Ricky Nelson?

Malph, get over here.

Yeah, Fonz.

Take over for me, will you?

Bless you, Fonz!

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and
rollin' all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪