Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 2, Episode 19 - Fonzie Joins the Band - full transcript

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪



♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪



♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ I was a-splishin'
and a-splashin' ♪

Whoo.

♪ I was a-rollin'
and a-strollin' ♪

♪ Hey, I was a-movin'
and a-groovin' ♪

♪ We was a-reelin'
with the feelin' ♪

♪ We was a-rollin'
and a-strollin' ♪

♪ Movin' and a-groovin' ♪

♪ Splish-splash ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

All right, that was real good.

Real good, Pots.

Thanks, Rich, but
where's your dad?

He's supposed to tell
us if we got the job or not.

Well, he'll be here pretty soon.

We didn't get
the job. I know it.

You better be wrong.

I already spent the
money we didn't earn

from the last job we didn't get.

There he is.

It always brings me
luck when I hold breath.

Hi, fellas. Hi, Mr. C.

How's the rehearsal going?

Well, we sound like pros.

We didn't get the job, did we?

It sounded good...
with the door closed.

I knew it. We
didn't get the job.

He's trying to let us down
easy. Dad, did you talk

to the entertainment
committee at the Lodge?

Mm-hmm.

And by a near unanimous
vote of eight to one...

What's the matter with him?

Oh, he's just
holding his breath.

He'll be fine once
you tell us the vote.

You got the job!

Aah, works every time.

I knew we'd get it.

You won't be sorry, Dad.

Mm-hmm.

Boy, I'd like to get
my hands on the guy

that voted against us.

It was the Grand Poo Pah
himself, Monroe Showalter.

Poopah?

Poo Pah!

You see, his son
made the mistake

of auditioning his combo
and you guys got the job.

I don't care how we got it.

We'll do a really
great job for you, Dad.

Yeah, I'm sure you will.

Oh, uh...

by the way, there
is one catch to it.

You gotta wear tuxedos.

Tuxedos?

Where are we gonna get tuxedos?

We'll rent them. With
what? Bottle caps?

But if we don't get the
threads, we don't have the job.

Well, look, we're
getting $12.50 apiece

to play the dance.

Yeah, and the tux is
going to cost $15 apiece.

That's good, Rich, just fine.

Well, don't think of
the money, Ralph.

Think about what it
could do for our careers.

Yeah, this job could
lead to other jobs

if they like us.
Yeah, if they like us,

it doesn't matter if we
play in jockey shorts.

Yeah. That's a good gimmick.

Look, a band's got
to have a gimmick.

Your face is a gimmick.

Oh, yeah?

We, we gotta get tuxedos.

Now where we
going to get tuxedos?

Maybe we stick
up a funeral parlor.

Wanna turn it off?

All right, it's fixed.

Now, just remember
what I told you,

warm it up before
you start running it.

Yeah, yeah, all right, Fonz.

Hey, what's that frown, huh?

Someone steal the
surprise out of your cereal?

No.

You see, our group got
our first good job playing

for a dance at the
Leopard Lodge.

Hey, there are a lot of
good-looking chicks there.

Little Leopardettes.

Well, I guess, but we'll
be pretty busy playing.

Are you crazy?

Chicks have a thing
about musicians.

I didn't know that.

Yeah.

You pick out a real
classy-looking chick, huh.

You let her dance
up to the bandstand...

and then you mouth
her a message.

What do you mouth?

"Happy Birthday," what
do you think you mouth?

And that works?

Like Flynn.

Now just try it.

Well, you see, that's just it.

I don't think I'm
gonna get a chance.

I don't think we're
going to get the job

because we don't have tuxedos.

Now, that's tough.

Wait a minute.

You need tuxedos?

You got 'em.

Yeah? How're you
going to get 'em?

You don't worry about how.

When the Fonz says
he can get you tuxedos,

you just start ironing
those little black socks, huh.

I'll check you later.

Yeah.

Thanks a lot, Fonz.

Hey!

Look, it's almost 6:00.

I gotta get home to eat.

He said he'd be
here, he'll be here.

I wouldn't count on it.

Stealing tuxes is
a risky business.

Who said he's stealing them?

Sure, he's probably
knitting them.

All right, Fonz!

I knew you'd make it.

You're the best.

That's what they tell me.

Which one's the 38 regular?

Hey, don't touch
the threads yet.

Now, is that something
or is that something, huh?

Wow! We'll look like pros.

Potsie. Great.

Bags, Richie.

Thanks, Fonz. Look at this.

I'm gonna have to get a
club to fight off the girls.

A club?

I'm gonna get a white
flag and surrender.

How'd you ever do it, Fonz?

It was easy.

I made a deal
with old man Miller

at the, uh, Spic
and Span cleaner.

He said I could have the suits

if I break a date
with his daughter.

Hey, what's that, Fonz?

A spare?

No, this is, uh, this is mine.

Yours?

Yeah, I'm gonna join your band.

Uh, what instrument are
you going to play, Fonz?

Bongos.

Well...

where did you learn
how to play bongos?

Oh, you don't learn
how to play the bongos.

You just need quick fingers.

I don't know, Fonz.

What do you mean,
you don't know?

What he means is

that I don't think you
can play with us, Fonz.

I hope I didn't
hear you just say

that I can't join your
group. No, no, no, Fonz.

I didn't say that.
Did I say that guys?

Oh, no, he didn't say it.

No, it's, listen.

The thing is, Fonz, that, uh,

well, the club is only
paying for a quartet.

Hey, I ain't doing
it for the money.

I'm doing it for a chick.

You know Rita Chitterston?

Oh, isn't she the
good-looking one

with the heart-shaped mole? Hey.

That's a beauty mark
and she's nuts about me.

She is? Yeah.

She don't know it yet,

but when I lay my bongos on her,

she's gonna be
mine, heart and mole.

Hey, I'll see you guys later

at the gig, huh? Hey.

Do we have to let him play?

Do we have a choice?

Of course we have a choice.

We can stand up to him.

You're right.

We don't have a choice.

I'll get it.

Joanie, will you get
upstairs and get dressed.

Joanie, will you get
upstairs and get dressed.

Hello? Do I have
to go to that dance?

What's that? There's
never any kids my age there.

Well, Herbie Showalter will
be there to dance with you.

Now go on,
upstairs. Oh, all right.

But I feel funny
dancing with Herbie.

He's two feet shorter than me.

Up, up.

Yes, Monroe, I took care of it.

Yeah, don't worry
about it, Monroe.

Listen, Mon... What's that?

Don't call you Monroe?
Call you the Grand Poo Pah?

Okay, good-bye, Grand Poo Pah.

How do you like that guy?

What guy, dear?

Showalter, the Grand Poo Pah.

He says he called up

to find out if I ordered
the potato salad,

but I think he just
wanted another chance

to give me a hard time
about Richie's band.

Well, he hasn't
heard Richard play.

That doesn't matter, Marion.

He thinks that all

rock and roll music is a
communist plot designed

to undermine American morals.

That's silly.

Marion, why don't people
dance close together anymore?

Oh, don't be such a
fuddy-duddy, Howard.

Come on, let's just go
out there and wiggle.

Stop that.

Not me. I'm going
on a sit-down strike

until Richie plays our song.

Oh, please, it's almost over.

Well, I hope you're not
going to make me dance

the "Hokey Pokey" all by myself.

They're wild about me.

What a combo I am.

Guitar, sax and dimples.

I picked one out for you.

Where?

The strawberry blonde over there

with the Veronica Lake hairdo.

Yeah, but look at the
guy that she's with.

Hey, never worry
about that, huh?

Just do what I told you to do.

Never fails.

Okay, now, try it again.

This time watch your timing.

Congratulations.

You just got a date
with your mother.

Man, oh, man, are we a hit!

They loved us!

I think I'm getting
drunk on my applause.

Maybe someone spiked the punch.

I'll tell you, if we're
such a big hit,

maybe we should start thinking
about more important gigs.

Yeah, we gotta start
really thinking big, guys.

Sure, we could play, uh,

uh, drag races,
roadhouses, strip joints, huh?

Well, I don't
think that's exactly

what we had in mind, Fonz.

Hey, you want to spend
your whole life playing

for middle-aged leopards?

Well, let's forget
about the future.

We still have a big
night ahead of us.

Yeah, they haven't
even heard my song yet.

Yeah, or my bongo solo.

What solo?

My solo.

We don't have a bongo solo.

Oh, but we'll put one in, Fonz.

Yeah, a little later in
the night, okay, Fonz?

I'll tell you when it fits in.

We can't wait, right, guys?

Oh, right! Oh, I
can't wait, Fonz.

Right.

Now.

What?

My bongo solo.

Now.

We're in the middle
of a slow dance.

Now.

What's going on?

Oh, maybe it's a
new kind of dance.

Hey!

I think that should do it.

Carry on.

Hey...

Richard,

I wouldn't do that
again if I were you.

The Grand Poo
Pah isn't too happy.

Right, Dad.

What are we gonna do?

We're never gonna
get another job after this.

Well, I think the first thing
we ought to do is take a break.

We gotta do something about Fonz

or we're never gonna work again.

Yeah, tell him he's
through, Richie.

Me?

I'm not the leader.

I nominate Richie for leader.

I second it. He's got my vote.

Congratulations,
Rich, you're the leader.

You know, you're very special.

When I finish my bongo symphony,

I think I'm gonna
dedicate it to you.

Let me tell you something.

I don't write one for
every chick I meet.

Music's my whole life.

Music and, uh, legs.

He looks kind of busy.
I'll talk to him later.

Do it now. We gotta get back.

Look, it can wait a few minutes.

We'll back you up. Right.

Yeah. Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey, hey!

This is a private party here.

Richie wanted to
talk to you, Fonz.

See you later, Rich.
Yeah, good luck, Rich.

All right, you... sit tight.

And you... talk fast.

I don't want her
lips to cool off.

I know how much you
love playing the bongos.

Hey, next to my bike,
man, that's my life.

We took a secret vote
and it was unanimous

and you're out of the band.

I'm out of the band?

Are you putting me on?

We just decided that the
bongos weren't quite right

for our kind of group.

Hey, I, I haven't been kicked
out of anything in my life...

except school.

What can I say?

The guys sent me
over here to tell you.

Yeah, well, let me
tell you something.

I'll think about it.

Well, take your time, Fonz.

What do you mean
he'll think about it?

You can't think about being
thrown out of something.

Do you want to tell Fonzie that?

You're the leader.

It was a legal vote.

Look, we'd better
start playing something

or the Leopards are
gonna throw us out.

He's right.

Look, i-if we're
lucky, he'll take the girl

up to Inspiration Point
and we'll be off the hook.

Let's try playing
"Splish Splash."

That'll really get 'em.

Okay, guys? All right.

Let's go.

One, two, three!

♪ Splish-splash, I
was takin' a bath ♪

♪ Long about a Saturday night ♪

♪ Rub-a-dub, just
relaxin' in the tub ♪

♪ Thinkin' everything
was all right ♪

♪ Well, I stepped out the
tub, put my feet on the floor ♪

♪ I wrapped the towel around
me and I opened the door ♪

♪ And then a-splish-splash,
I jumped back in the bath ♪

♪ Well, how was I to know
there was a party going on? ♪

♪ They was a-splishin'
and a-splashin' ♪

♪ Reelin' with the feelin',
rollin' and a-strollin' ♪

♪ Movin' and a groovin' ♪

♪ Hey, yeah! ♪

♪ Bing-bang, I saw
the whole gang ♪

♪ Dancin' on my
living room rug ♪

♪ Flip-flop, they
was doin' the bop ♪

♪ All the teens had
the dancin' bug ♪

♪ They was a-lollipoppin'
with Peggy Sue ♪

What do you think?

I don't understand
the lyrics, Marion.

♪ Golly, Miss Molly
was even there, too ♪

♪ Well, a-splish-splash,
I forgot about the bath ♪

♪ I went and put my
dancing shoes on ♪

♪ Yeah, I was
a-rollin' and a-strollin' ♪

♪ Reelin' with the feelin' ♪

♪ Movin' and a-groovin',
splishin' and a-splashin' ♪

♪ Hey, yeah! ♪

♪ Hey... I was a-splishin'
and a-splashin' ♪

♪ I was a-rollin'
and a-strollin' ♪

♪ Hey, I was a-movin'
and a-groovin' ♪

♪ We was a-reelin'
with the feelin' ♪

♪ We was a-rollin'
and a-strollin' ♪

♪ Movin' and a-groovin' ♪

♪ Splish... splash... yeah. ♪

What do you know? It worked.

And what do you do now?

I don't know.
Fonzie didn't tell me.

What would the Fonz do?

He'd go over and say,
"Hi, I'm Fonzie. Let's neck."

I think I'd better just settle

for asking her out for a date.

Okay, Rich.

Great.

I'll get some more punch.

Okay, bye-bye.

Hi, I'm Richie Cunningham.

Hi, I'm Carol Downey.

Well, it's a pretty
nice dance, isn't it?

Yeah.

The band's great, isn't it?

Well, that's kind of hard for
me to say since I'm the leader.

You are?

Didn't you see me?

I'm the one who,
uh, who spoke to you.

You spoke to me?

I'm sorry.

I can't see two feet in front
of me without these glasses.

Hey, you're cute.

Uh, what did you say to me?

Oh, well, uh, it
was just small talk.

Listen, do you think I
could call you up sometime?

I guess so.

Great. Who's your friend?

Uh, he's the leader of the band.

Trying to move in on my date?

Oh, oh, well, I see that
she's not wearing a ring

or anything, so I figure
she's not going steady.

Listen, pal,

I've lost three girls to
smooth-talking musicians.

You know what I mean?

Well, I'm not a
very smooth talker

and I'm not much
of a musician either.

Now, I'm going to punch you out

as a lesson to all musicians.

Meet me at the
birdbath in five minutes.

I don't even know
where the birdbath is.

Ask a pigeon.

I'll be right back.

Will you still call me?

If I'm able.

Look, I did what you guys asked.

Now I need your help.

Anything, Rich.
You just name it.

We're always behind our leader.

All right.

Hey, remember that
girl that I winked at?

Well, it turns out that
she has a boyfriend

and he just called me out.

I may need you guys' help.

All of us?

W-Well, there's
strength in numbers.

Four of us against one of him.

Uh, Rich, you know,
I'm a singer and, uh...

I have my lips to think about.

I'd like to help you out, Rich,

but who can play
with broken hands?

That's right, Rich,

and I can't play the
sax with no teeth.

It destroys the gums.

Hey, you showed up.

Great.

We were betting you wouldn't.

Look, couldn't
we talk about this?

Yeah, we can talk... talk.

And then me and my friends
are going to punch you out.

You see, at one time or another,

we've all been
dumped for musicians.

We all got a lot of hate.

Fonzie!

Hey, Ralph told me
something was up.

Hey, buddy, I'd get
lost if I were you.

First of all, my
name ain't Buddy,

and second of all,
you ain't me, you creep,

and, uh, since you don't
go too much for talking,

how about if I put my
knuckles where your mouth is?

You think you can
take the three of us?

Well, we'll never know.

Two of you left.

Well, uh, that's
not a fair fight.

I mean, it's, it's
two against one.

Fonz, am I glad you showed up.

Oh, yeah, you kicked
me out of your band.

Now you're glad to see me.

Yeah, you're right.

Listen, thanks.

Hey, I'm responsible
for your tuxedo, huh?

I don't want to see
it get messed up.

Listen, I'm sorry about
kicking you out of the band.

We were worried because
you played so loud.

But I don't care.

If you want to play
the bongos, you're in.

Yeah, I knew you
wouldn't fence me out.

Besides, I solved the problem.

How are we gonna play
if he doesn't make it?

Don't worry. He
can handle himself.

Yeah, but can he
handle the other guy?

Hey, here he comes.

What happened?

Hey...

All right, guys,
this is our last set,

so let's give them
all we've got, all right?

I'm ready to jam.

Wait a minute.

What if he does another solo?

Yeah, I thought we decided...

We decided that I'm leader,
and I say that he plays.

Hey, don't give my man
here a hard time, huh?

And besides, I solved
the loudness problem.

I need two cummerbunds.

What? Cummerbunds!

This is gonna slightly
muffle my genius.

All right.

Thanks.

All right, let's wail.

Oh, look, Howard, they're
doing the bunny hop.

Let's join in.

Forget it, Marion.

I'm not going to hop around

like a jumping
bean gone berserk.

It's not dignified.

You never want to dance, Howard.

You'd have an awful lot more fun

if you'd just learn
to participate.

M-Marion!

Howard! Ha!

Oh, I'm hungry.

I'm gonna get some corn flakes.

Yeah, hitting all those clinkers

gave you an appetite, huh?

I didn't hit any clinkers.

Listen, I saw you dancing

with that little
shrimp all night.

Mom, he's making fun of me.

Herbie can't help
it if he's a shrimp.

It's all right, Joanie.

Good things come
in little packages.

Like your father...
He's a little package.

That's right; make
fun of me, Marion.

Nobody cares about me.

I spent five minutes
out in that car

and not one person
offered to help me.

Is your back still out, dear?

No, Marion, I just find a
lot of loose change this way.

It must be all that hopping.

Don't touch me, Marion.

Oh...

Yeah, the same thing
happened to Jane Kipsey's dad.

He didn't hop again for a month.

Your dad's in great shape.

You remember when we
used to do the Charleston?

Ah... Oh, Marion.

Marion, I, I, I, I wouldn't.

Oh... my back.

Well, I think we
can call it a night.

Okay, I'll help you.

Easy, Richard. Come on, Dad.

Aah!

Oh, children are such a comfort,

aren't they, hot legs?

Right, Hopalong.

♪ This day is ours ♪

♪ These are such happy days ♪

♪ Hello, sunshine,
good-bye, rain ♪

♪ She's wearing my
school ring on her chain ♪

♪ She's my steady, I'm her man ♪

♪ I'm gonna love her all I can ♪

♪ This day is ours ♪

♪ Won't you be mine? ♪

♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ This day is ours ♪

♪ Oh, please be mine ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪