Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 1, Episode 11 - Because She's There - full transcript

(Bill Haley and the Comets) ♪ One,
two, three o'clock, four o'clock rock

♪ Five, six, seven
o'clock, eight o'clock rock

♪ Nine, ten, eleven
o'clock, twelve o'clock rock

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ Put your glad
rags on, join me, hon

♪ We'll have some fun
when the clock strikes one

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight

♪ When the clock
strikes two, three, and four

♪ If the band slows
down, we'll yell for more



♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight

(♪ guitar solo)

♪ When the chimes
ring five, six, and seven

♪ We'll be right
in seventh heaven

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight

♪ When the clock strikes
twelve, we'll cool off then

♪ Start a-rockin'
'round the clock again

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight ♪



♪ This day is ours ♪

Two burgers, one dog, one malt,

three cherry cola,
one lime freeze.

That'll be a buck 50.

Go buy yourself a banana.

Hey, Rich, your friend
was looking for you...

The blabbermouth.

Oh, yeah, Potsie. Where is he?

Down there.

Hey, Rich, you look
nice all dressed up.

Well, the French club
had their picture taken

for the yearbook.

Oh? J'ai une rouge plume.

I took a year.

Th-that's very good.

J'ai une rouge plume.

Great! Great! That makes 17.

One more, and we
tie Madison's record.

Ralph, have you
seen Potsie around?

Uh... yeah, he's in the booth.

Really? Yeah.

Potsie? Potsie!

Down here, Rich.

Hey, Rich. Rich, wanna climb in?

One more, and we tie the record.

I don't think so.

Aw, come on. We
just need one more.

Why don't you do it, then?

Me? I'm the official counter.
Come on, Rich, please! Come on.

Well, I don't know.

We're sure to get our picture
in the school newspaper.

Maybe even Life magazine.

Ah, I'm too dressed
up to fool around.

I got my good clothes on.

So you'll look great
in Life magazine!

Come on. It'll be a blast.

Come on, Rich! Come on!

(boy) Come on!
(boy #2) Come on in!

I'll do it.

(overlapping shouts)

Hey, look out for
Spider's elbow.

Heave... all right, we tied!

That's it, we did it!
Madison's record!

I'd better take a count,
just to make it official.

I gotta do it, I gotta do it.

Hi, Potsie. Oh, hey, Rich.

Guess what. I got a
date with Susan Denton.

So? So?

I'm the first guy she ever went
out with that wasn't on varsity.

Oh, I'm happy for you.

Hey, would you mind moving your
hand? You're bending my tie clasp.

She said she'd go to Ralph's
costume party with me,

but she's got this
cousin, and, um...

I don't go on blind
dates anymore.

Aw, come on, Rich.
You owe me a favor.

For what? Some
memory you've got.

How about that date I got
you with Mary Ellen Liske?

That's why I don't go
on blind dates anymore.

Oh, come on, Rich.
This is important.

Be a buddy.

Is she good-looking? I
heard she's a lot of fun.

She's fat. And she's
got a great personality.

She's fat with glasses.

To tell you the truth,
Rich, I've never seen her.

Aha.

But I'll make sure you get to
see her before the party, OK?

If I don't like her,
the date's off, OK?

But I just bought you a soda.

That doesn't make
any difference.

What's the world coming to

when you can't
bribe your best friend?

Howard, would you
mind if I teamed up

with Harry Malph
for our bridge game?

Why don't you want
to be my partner?

Well, Hazel and I were talking,

and we decided that
husband-and-wife teams

just argue too much.

Oh, now, that's
ridiculous, Marion.

I don't argue. I
make suggestions.

You make them very loud, dear.

Are you and Mom fighting?

We're not fighting.
We're having a discussion.

Your father discusses loud, too.

All right, Marion.

I promise I won't make
any more loud suggestions.

Now, then, will you
please stay as my partner?

All right.

Dad, when you guys play,

do you usually go straight
through or take a lot of breaks?

We usually play
straight through. Why?

I was just wondering.

He's afraid you're
gonna raid the party.

Oh. Well, don't worry, Richie.

I'm going there to play
bridge, not to raid the party.

How come you raided mine?

That's because Blimpy the Clown

was jumping all
over the furniture.

He was making us laugh.

Who wants cake? (Joanie) I do.

I do. I do.

What are you gonna wear
to Ralph's costume party?

I haven't decided yet.

How about something
like Donald Duck?

Oh, Mom.

Well, what's wrong
with Donald Duck?

Mom, it's hard
necking with a beak.

That's not the reason.

It is so. They do a lot of
kissing at those parties.

There's nothing wrong
with a little harmless kissing.

Jeff Slakus thinks there is.

Who's Jeff Slakus?

A boy who tried to kiss me once.

What?

I smashed him in the nose.

Good for you, dear.

That light's a thousand bumper.

A thousand points if I get
that bumper. All right. OK.

OK, you got it, you got it!

You're blocking the bonus wheel!

Oh, nuts!

Rich, you're not in bad
shape. You got 33,000.

Only 50,000 more
for a free game.

Yeah, but this is my
last ball coming up.

Hit the ball.

Well, but if I lose this ball,
I'll blow the whole game.

Hit the ball!

Hey...

(bell dinging)

It's a free game.

Goodness gracious me!
How'd you ever manage that?

That's great, Fonzie. Thanks!

Hey, Rich, I got
something to tell you.

Oh, I can't talk now.
I just got a free game.

Free game? That's kid's stuff!

I got something
important to tell you.

What do you want? Well, I
couldn't get ahold of Phyllis,

but I got a picture
of her for you.

Ho-ho-ho!

She looks just like
Jayne Mansfield.

Whoa, ho-ho-ho!

It is Jayne Mansfield.
It came with the wallet.

Here, right here, that's her.

Oh. Oh. I can't tell
what she looks like.

Half of her face
is in the shade.

Rich, it's a face.

The half in the shade
looks like the other half,

except it's on the other side.

Use your imagination.

All right, I guess she's
pretty. I'll take her.

Great! Hey, look, I'll go
pick up both costumes,

and I'll pick you
up at 7:00. OK.

See ya later. Right, Potsie.

Hey, all set for the little
dress-up party, Richie?

Yeah, I guess so.
Who you takin'?

Well, Potsie's setting me up
with Susan Denton's cousin.

You don't know her.

A blind date?

Oh, no, I wouldn't
go on a blind date.

Is she good-lookin'?

Phyllis? Well, she's
kind of hard to describe.

She's, uh, very
dark, very mysterious,

but all you need is one
quick glimpse of her, and...

That bad, huh? Whoa!

(knocking on door)

That must be Potsie and Richie.

Come in.

Susan?

Hi, Potsie. In here.

Hi.

We'll be done in a second.

Finished?

Sure.

I'm Susan.

I'm Richie Cunningham.

And this is my cousin Phyllis.

Hi.

Hi.

I'll get my flats.

♪ Down-down-down-down-
down-dee-dooby

♪ Down-down-down-down-down

♪ Down-dee-dooby-down

♪ Sha-sha-la-la-la-la ♪

(Kay Starr) ♪ Oh,
wheel of fortune

♪ I'm hoping somehow

♪ If you'll ever smile on me

♪ Please let it be now ♪

Rich, I really think you're
overreacting to this, huh?

I mean, look at it this way...

Um, Jane Russell's tall, right?

Would you turn down a
date with Jane Russell?

No. Get me a date
with Jane Russell.

At least you still got
your sense of humor.

Oh, hey, there's
Fonzie. Come on.

Not bad, huh, Fonz?

Hey, Fonz.

Isn't it great? I never
thought Fonz would come.

Sheena of the Jungle here
wanted to wear her outfit.

I mean, where else was I
gonna take her dressed like that...

The zoo?

Uh, couldn't you get
a costume, Fonzie?

I'm wearin' a costume.
I'm Marlon Brando.

But that's what
you wear every day.

Hey, I just said I was Brando.

I put a little
tear in my t-shirt.

(whistles) That's great, Fonz!

Whoa.

Thanks.

Let's see... I bid
three diamonds.

Oh! That's what I was gonna bid.

Why don't you switch
chairs with Harry,

and then you can play
diamonds with Hazel.

Can you do that?

Just bid, Marion.

Well, I don't know
what I can bid.

I've got two spades and three
hearts, and all the rest of 'em...

Marion, don't tell us
what's in your hand.

I'm sorry. Now try to
be patient, Howard.

I am patient. Now
will you please bid?

Uh, three hearts.

Three spades.

It is just a game, Howard.

(♪ slow-dance music)

(music stops)

Well, I'll get us some punch.

That'd be nice. Yeah.

(♪ "Mona Lisa")

Hey, Rich, she seems
like a nice girl, you know,

but, uh, I bet you don't
see eye-to-eye on anything.

Well, here you go.

Thank you.

Why don't we sit down?

That'd be better.

I mean, uh, that would be fine.

Uh, wouldn't you
like to sit over here?

Oh, no. No, I-I
always sit on the arm.

Oh. It's funny...

a lot of guys I go out
with seem to do that.

Well, I suppose I
could sit over there.

Uh...

you have very pretty eyes.

And... you, uh...

have a very straight part.

Can I ask a question?

Yes, Marion, just as long as you
don't tell us what's in your hand.

OK. Uh, let's say
that you're sitting in,

say, uh, the second
position, and you have,

well, let's say, a
short suit, like two,

one of which is a big one,
like, for instance, a king,

and the other
one is a little one,

you know, let's say five or six.

And the dummy has
something like a queen,

which can take your little
one, but not your big one.

Which one do you play?

Play the king, Marion.

Good. That's what
I was gonna do.

So you think you may eventually
want to become a nurse, huh?

Uh, I'm not sure.

I just know I'd like
to do something

where I can help people.

Oh, that's always nice...
helping people. Yeah.

Oh, you know, those two

have been going
together for a long time.

What would you
like to do, Richie?

Me? I'm having a terrific time

just sitting here
talking, Phyllis.

No, no, I meant after
you get out of college.

Oh. Well, I guess, uh,

I guess I wanna go to law
school, try and be a lawyer.

That's nice.

You know, actually, I
believe they're engaged.

I want you to know...

I usually don't neck
on the first date.

It's your turn, Marion!

I know, Howard. I just
don't know what to play.

Well, play anything.
It doesn't matter.

It's only a game.

Well, you said to play anything.

Well, I know, but
I never dreamed...

Never mind.

I'm sorry.

It's all right, Marion.

It's only a game...
that we're losing.

You know, I haven't heard
a sound from downstairs

in 20 minutes.

Harry, go downstairs,

just to make sure
everything's all right.

I'll go, Hazel.

Oh, no, I couldn't ask
you to do that, Howard.

It would be too much trouble.

It's a lot less trouble

than watching
Marion play this hand.

(Phyllis) Ohh, an Indian.

(Richie) No, no,
i-it's an eagle.

Now, this is an Indian.

Don't let me interrupt.

Oh! Oh!

Dad, what are you
doing down here?!

Now don't worry, Richard.

I'm not gonna
turn the lights on.

I-I just wanted to come down

and see how the party was going.

Well, everything's fine.

In this light, how can you tell?

Come here, Dad.

I'd like you to meet
my date... Phyllis.

Pleased to meet you, Phyllis.

You're very... lovely
in that costume.

Thank you.

Why don't we go get
some punch, Dad?

Oh, fine.

I'll be right back.

I'll be here.

Excuse us.

She's a tall one, isn't she?

Yeah, we look sorta like
Snow White and one dwarf.

She seems like a very nice girl.

But it's so strange, looking
up at her all the time.

Richard, there never was a law

that said that a man had
to be taller than a woman.

If there was, I wouldn't
be married to your mother.

I know, Dad, but somehow
it just seems more natural

for the guy to be
taller than the girl.

Physical size doesn't
mean anything.

People are as big as
they are inside, believe me.

Look, do I seem short to you?

Yeah, Dad, you do.

Well, I better get back upstairs

and see how badly your
mother and I are losing.

Cute outfit.

Hey, Mr. C.

Fonzie.

I just want you to know

that I've got everything
under control down here.

See, I'm, uh, sort of
a chaperon, and, uh...

Sheena of the Jungle
here is co-chaperon.

Co-chaperon, huh?

Yeah, so I don't want you
to worry about anything.

Well, with you as chaperon,
Fonzie, why should I worry?

Huh?

All right, everybody
ready for strip poker!

Hey...

OK, party's over.

My folks said everyone's
gotta be outta here by 12:00.

Hey, Potsie... Huh?

What are you and
Susan doing now?

I thought we'd go for a drive.

A drive? What for?

So we can run out of gas.

Oh, bush league. Bush.

Why don't you come
up to the lake with us?

If a girl won't neck there, then
running out of gas ain't gonna help.

OK. I'll go get Rich.

Good.

Hey, Rich, let's go on
up to the lake with Ralph.

No. Things just
aren't working out.

Oh, yeah, I understand
how it is with you little fellas.

That's not funny, Potsie.

Oh, I'm sorry, Rich.

Here, take my car.
I'll go with Ralph.

All right.

OK, we're ready.

Great. We're going
up to the lake, Susan.

See ya later, Rich.

Are we going to
the lake, Richie?

Uh... no.

But I got a better idea.

(Richie) You see that?
That's the farmhouse

where the town's
first mayor was born,

and these are the woods where
his ghost is supposed to live.

(Phyllis) It's really nice of
you to show me these things.

Since you came all the
way from another county,

you ought to see something
more than just the town cannon.

(engine backfires)

What was that?

Probably just the muffler.
Do you see that over there?

(engine backfires)

Oh, no!

What?

I don't believe it.

What is it?

There's no gas.

You mean you ran out of gas?

Oh, listen, I know
what you're thinking,

but I promise you
that I didn't plan this.

Really. Really.

Don't worry. I believe you.

Maybe Potsie's parents

keep an extra can
of gas in the trunk.

Fonzie! Hey, Fonzie!

Fonzie, am I glad to see you.

Hey, it's a good thing

that me and Sheena
are out ghost hunting.

Pray tell, little knave,

what are you
doing with that can...

watering silver bells
and cockleshells?

We ran out of gas.

You think you could
give me a lift to a station?

Where am I gonna put
you, on the handlebars?

Maybe you could give
us some of your gas.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Give me your dagger.

Huh? Give me your dagger.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I'm down to half a blade,

but I figure I can give
you a couple of drops.

Aw, thanks,
Fonzie. It's all right.

Hey, what am I gonna
do, leave you stranded here

dressed like that in the woods?

You might get beat
up by a tough elf.

The spout's too big!

Ohh... I have an idea.

Here. Try that.

Hey, that's gonna work!

Ha-ha!

I'm sorry about all the trouble,

but, uh, I really had
a nice time tonight.

Yeah, it was fun.

Last time I was here,

Susan fixed me up with
some basketball player...

6'2" of solid dull.

You think you might be
coming back again sometime?

I might come visit this summer.

Oh, well, if you do, would
you like to go out again?

I-I promise I won't
run out of gas this time.

Sure, I'd love to.

Really? Well, I
guess I'll see you then.

Yeah.

Did you forget something?

Would you mind if
we traded places?

Not a bit.

Richie, if I tell you a
secret, can I have a nickel?

What's the secret?

No, the nickel first.

All right. Here's your nickel.

What's the secret?

You got home at 2:00 last night.

That's no secret.

It is to Dad.

You're cruisin'
for a bruisin', kid.

Oh, yeah? You'd
have to catch me first.

Oh, good morning, pumpkin.

Hi, Dad.

Morning, Richie.

Morning, Dad.

How was your date last night?

Fine. We got along just great.

Oh? Even considering her height?

Well, sure, Dad.
We're mature adults.

Well, that explains
it. Explains what?

Why Mr. Mature Adult

didn't get in until
2:00 in the morning.

Joanie told you?

I gave her a nickel not to tell.

Well, there you have it. Huh?

I gave her a dime.

Joanie!

Joanie!

Joanie!

Mom!

I love you.

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine

♪ Happy days ♪

♪ Hello, sunshine goodbye, rain

♪ She's wearin' my
school ring on her chain

♪ She's my steady, I'm her man

♪ I'm gonna love her all I can

♪ This day is ours
♪ Won't you be mine?

♪ These happy days
♪ This day is ours

♪ Oh, please be
mine ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ Happy days ♪