Hamster & Gretel (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 23 - Episode #1.23 - full transcript
♪ Who's the improbable duo
That you've heard about?
♪ Faster than a scooter
Stronger than metal
♪ Who's the little girl
And her domesticated rodent?
♪ Who's still standing
♪ When you see
the dust settle?
♪ It's Hamster
Hamster, Hamster
♪ Hamster and Gretel
♪ If they can't do it
Then nobody can
♪ Hamster, Hamster, Hamster
♪ Hamster and Gretel
♪ There's also Kevin
in the minivan ♪
Abuelita,
I'm going out
to the carnival.
So you're not
going to stay
for my delicious
pabellon?
Oh, I'd love to,
but I'm meeting Hiromi.
Oh, the girl who only
likes you as a friend.
We have not
established that.
Whatever.
Have fun,
but not
too much fun.
How come Kevin
gets to go and I don't?
Because Kevin
finished his homework.
And when Abuelita
is babysitting,
everyone has to do
their chores
before they
can have fun.
I'll do it
real quick right now.
Hamster, pretend
to be a protractor.
Oh, finally,
someone asks.
We interrupt whatever
boring thing you're doing
for this important announcement.
Our fair city
is under attack!
The suspect,
a woman with
long hair, pale skin
and wearing five hats
appears to drain people
of their happiness.
I know the feeling
as I was left
at the altar
by a giant man-baby
last month.
Please remove
that graphic.
Aye, this is
very serious.
Her name is
La Sombrerona.
La Sombrerona?
Doesn't that
just mean hat lady?
(LAUGHS)
Shh-shh. Don't make fun.
She can smell laughter.
Can she not
just hear it?
That, too.
A long time ago,
in a peaceful village,
there was a beautiful woman
who married a farmer.
But the farmer did not
want to do his chores.
He only wanted to have fun.
And one day,
while he was
dancing in the field,
he fell off a cliff...
(SCREAMS)
...and was eaten by a tiger,
which is strange
because tigers
are not indigenous
to South America.
La Sombrerona was very sad
and always wore
her husband's hat
to remember him.
Some time passed
and she married an accountant.
But soon he didn't want
to count numbers anymore.
He wanted to have fun
and play in the jungle.
He too was eaten by a tiger.
La Sombrerona
wore his hat, too.
She remarried three more times
but each of the husband's
only wanted to have fun,
and died under amusing
but tragic circumstances.
There were a lot of tigers
around back then.
Anyway La Sombrerona
wore all five hats,
and when she finds people
who are having too much fun
and not doing their chores,
she sucks the happiness
out of them forever.
The end.
How come
every story you tell us
is about a scary spirit
who wants kids
to do their chores?
I don't make
the rules of folklore.
Now do your homework.
There are still
tigers out there.
But I've got to get out there
and stop La Sombrerona.
La Sombrerona
only goes after people
when they are having
too much fun.
VERONICA: Breaking news!
The five hatted hat lady
who makes everyone sad
has just attacked
the shuffleboard courts
at this senior
citizen center.
Great. Now
I'm old and sad.
(CRIES)
Shuffleboard!
Oh, now it's personal.
Gretel, you have to use
your powers to get that bruja.
If she feeds on happiness,
I bet the next place
she'll strike will be
where a lot of people
are having fun.
Where do
people have fun?
Hmm. The dentist.
No.
I'm sorry, Gretel,
these people are just asking
to be attacked
by La Sombrerona.
Why aren't you
doing your chores?
Thanks for coming, Fred.
Normally I shun carnivals,
but a villain
who hates happiness,
now that sounds
like a good time.
I'm trying to warn Kevin,
but he won't pick up.
Everything looks
so good.
Should I get
the ice cream
on the cob
or the deep fried
everything?
Oh, deep fried
every time.
I'm gonna go get
some cotton candy.
Meet you
at the fun house.
Aw, cute.
Oh, she likes
that koala bear.
I've gotta
win it for her.
Shoot the water
into the clown's mouth.
Take out
your latent hostility
towards clowns.
Only five bucks.
(BELL DINGS)
Yeah!
And we
have a winner.
This bear
is a symbol
of your defeat.
Oh, it is so on!
So, how do we find
this leprechaun?
Sorry. I haven't
really been listening.
No one just finds
La Sombrerona.
I bet she's over there
where all those sad people
are coming out of a fun house.
(PEOPLE CRYING)
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
We know you're in here,
La Sombrerona.
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
Ah-ha! Got you!
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
(GRUNTING)
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
That's it.
I'm melting your hats.
(GASPING)
Okay. No heat vision
in the house of mirrors.
Good safety tip.
Where are you?
(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
(GRUNTS)
Ah-ha!
La Sombrerona.
(SHATTERING)
I can't even calculate
how many years
of bad luck that is.
(BELL DINGING)
And we have a winner.
(GROANS)
Yes!
Another one
for your pile
of humiliation.
Look how
big it's getting.
Let's go again.
I... I, oh...
I don't have
any more money.
Pathetic.
Oh, my watch!
No, that belonged
to my grandfather.
(GASPS) How about my
other grandfather's watch?
Here we go.
Shoot the water
into the clown's mouth
in a vain attempt to win
the affections of the girl
who only sees you
as a friend.
We have not
established that yet.
Your reign of terror
is about to end,
La Sombrerona.
Argh, I hate that name!
Once something
pops up on the Internet,
it's impossible
to get rid of it.
So you didn't
have five husbands
who died in tragic
but amusing ways?
Yes, that part is true.
But why is everyone
focused on my husbands?
I'm the one
out here ruining
everyone's happiness.
Like this!
(CRYING)
Life has no meaning.
HAMSTER: I'm so hurt.
GRETEL: I'm so sad.
What are you staring at?
You suck happiness
out of people.
Hilarious.
I'll show
you hilarious!
Hmm?
(GRETEL CRYING)
I'm going to start
my reign of misery
over there,
with the happier people.
(LAUGHS AND SCREAMS)
(SCREAMS)
What's the matter?
Fly after her.
Do your
superheroine thing.
I'm so sad.
(CRYING) Me, too.
(BOTH CRYING)
I'm going to eat
my feelings.
I'll have
the deep-fried cabbage.
(CRYING)
Extra cheese.
Can't you
think of something?
Well, she wants
to make everyone sad
because she never
got to have any fun.
That is so sad.
(BOTH CRYING)
So sad.
We could probably
solve all of this
if we just showed
La Sombrerona
a good time.
But who's gonna
make her have fun?
Yeah, no offense,
but we're
out of commission.
And you two aren't exactly
the life of the party.
Oh, yeah,
at your Uncle Ernesto's
wedding,
they said I threw
the best hora loca
they had ever seen.
It's like five parties
stuffed into one party,
then dipped in
a totally different party.
Wait a second Winifred,
do you think we could...
You had me at loca.
(SALSA MUSIC PLAYING)
Hey, everybody,
it's time for
the hora loca.
That's the best part
of the party. Vamos.
♪ Dance on a table
Stand on a chair
♪ Finish the portrait
using your hair
♪ And double Dutch
with a kangaroo
♪ Juggle your niece
and your nephew too
♪ It's time to throw
depression to the wind
♪ Good times are coming
Grab your ese
♪ Have you been into
an airplane
♪ Upside down plane
♪ Banjo duet with
an out of work clown named Joe
♪ If you're moping
and feeling down
come along with us
♪ We're gonna turn it around
Like whoa
♪ Now is the hour
to go crazy
♪ That's just
a direct translation
♪ So these lyrics are lazy
♪ Tell your madre to
♪ Tell your padre to
♪ Tell everybody
♪ We're livin' it up
at the hora loca
♪ It's a fiesta
♪ You and a guest-a
♪ Won't be depressed-a
♪ 'Cause we're livin' it up
at the hora loca ♪
(LAUGHING)
I've never had
so much fun.
That was awesome.
Now, everyone's so happy
that it will be even
more painful for them
when I suck out
their happiness again!
What?
Think years of trauma can be
cured by 15 minutes of fun?
My husbands were
eaten by tigers!
(CRYING)
(ALL CRYING)
Is it weird that
I found her more creepy
when she was smiling?
Hamster, it looks like
the power comes
from the hat.
It's time to take
the sombrero
out of the sombrerona.
So she'll just be "na"?
Exactly.
(GRUNTING)
You made me
look ridiculous!
Yeah, 'cause those
five hats were totally fire.
Why is there
a radio tower
on your head?
When I lost my five husbands,
did I wallow in self-pity?
No. I studied neuroscience
and electrical engineering
until I discovered a way
to remove the happiness
from other people.
Unfortunately, that meant
permanently attaching
this to my head,
but we all make sacrifices.
And now it's time
for your sacrifice!
I don't think we made
things any better.
(BELL DINGING)
Yo, you're
wasting your money.
You wanna play
another round?
Dude, you're losing
to a five-year-old man.
Okay, fine.
Take it.
Nice, for that
you get two rounds.
(BELL DINGS)
Yeah!
His water pistol
is stronger!
This game is rigged!
It's a carnival.
Everything is rigged.
Anyone want a watch?
(GRUNTS)
Ah-ha!
Here we go.
(BELL DINGS)
(SCREAMS)
Fool! No one can stop...
(DINGS)
Using the antenna
from a scary character
in South American folklore
is unusual but not forbidden.
We have a winner.
Uh, what?
Aw! Did you
win that for me?
(GASPS) I hope you didn't
spend too much money.
No, no, it...
It was super easy.
Don't worry about it.
What happened to your
grandfather's watch?
Oh, it went
to a good cause.
La Sombrerona,
you have the right
to stop being
such a buzzkill.
I'll tell ya, Abuelita,
that hora loca
was pretty loca.
Didn't know
you had it in you.
I did,
and now I don't.
Hora loca
is officially over.
Everyone
stop having fun.
Go, do your chores.
Well, all except
for you.
You earned
a little fun.
(SALSA MUSIC PLAYING)
All right,
that's enough.
Just kidding.
♪ Living it up
in the hora loca ♪
That you've heard about?
♪ Faster than a scooter
Stronger than metal
♪ Who's the little girl
And her domesticated rodent?
♪ Who's still standing
♪ When you see
the dust settle?
♪ It's Hamster
Hamster, Hamster
♪ Hamster and Gretel
♪ If they can't do it
Then nobody can
♪ Hamster, Hamster, Hamster
♪ Hamster and Gretel
♪ There's also Kevin
in the minivan ♪
Abuelita,
I'm going out
to the carnival.
So you're not
going to stay
for my delicious
pabellon?
Oh, I'd love to,
but I'm meeting Hiromi.
Oh, the girl who only
likes you as a friend.
We have not
established that.
Whatever.
Have fun,
but not
too much fun.
How come Kevin
gets to go and I don't?
Because Kevin
finished his homework.
And when Abuelita
is babysitting,
everyone has to do
their chores
before they
can have fun.
I'll do it
real quick right now.
Hamster, pretend
to be a protractor.
Oh, finally,
someone asks.
We interrupt whatever
boring thing you're doing
for this important announcement.
Our fair city
is under attack!
The suspect,
a woman with
long hair, pale skin
and wearing five hats
appears to drain people
of their happiness.
I know the feeling
as I was left
at the altar
by a giant man-baby
last month.
Please remove
that graphic.
Aye, this is
very serious.
Her name is
La Sombrerona.
La Sombrerona?
Doesn't that
just mean hat lady?
(LAUGHS)
Shh-shh. Don't make fun.
She can smell laughter.
Can she not
just hear it?
That, too.
A long time ago,
in a peaceful village,
there was a beautiful woman
who married a farmer.
But the farmer did not
want to do his chores.
He only wanted to have fun.
And one day,
while he was
dancing in the field,
he fell off a cliff...
(SCREAMS)
...and was eaten by a tiger,
which is strange
because tigers
are not indigenous
to South America.
La Sombrerona was very sad
and always wore
her husband's hat
to remember him.
Some time passed
and she married an accountant.
But soon he didn't want
to count numbers anymore.
He wanted to have fun
and play in the jungle.
He too was eaten by a tiger.
La Sombrerona
wore his hat, too.
She remarried three more times
but each of the husband's
only wanted to have fun,
and died under amusing
but tragic circumstances.
There were a lot of tigers
around back then.
Anyway La Sombrerona
wore all five hats,
and when she finds people
who are having too much fun
and not doing their chores,
she sucks the happiness
out of them forever.
The end.
How come
every story you tell us
is about a scary spirit
who wants kids
to do their chores?
I don't make
the rules of folklore.
Now do your homework.
There are still
tigers out there.
But I've got to get out there
and stop La Sombrerona.
La Sombrerona
only goes after people
when they are having
too much fun.
VERONICA: Breaking news!
The five hatted hat lady
who makes everyone sad
has just attacked
the shuffleboard courts
at this senior
citizen center.
Great. Now
I'm old and sad.
(CRIES)
Shuffleboard!
Oh, now it's personal.
Gretel, you have to use
your powers to get that bruja.
If she feeds on happiness,
I bet the next place
she'll strike will be
where a lot of people
are having fun.
Where do
people have fun?
Hmm. The dentist.
No.
I'm sorry, Gretel,
these people are just asking
to be attacked
by La Sombrerona.
Why aren't you
doing your chores?
Thanks for coming, Fred.
Normally I shun carnivals,
but a villain
who hates happiness,
now that sounds
like a good time.
I'm trying to warn Kevin,
but he won't pick up.
Everything looks
so good.
Should I get
the ice cream
on the cob
or the deep fried
everything?
Oh, deep fried
every time.
I'm gonna go get
some cotton candy.
Meet you
at the fun house.
Aw, cute.
Oh, she likes
that koala bear.
I've gotta
win it for her.
Shoot the water
into the clown's mouth.
Take out
your latent hostility
towards clowns.
Only five bucks.
(BELL DINGS)
Yeah!
And we
have a winner.
This bear
is a symbol
of your defeat.
Oh, it is so on!
So, how do we find
this leprechaun?
Sorry. I haven't
really been listening.
No one just finds
La Sombrerona.
I bet she's over there
where all those sad people
are coming out of a fun house.
(PEOPLE CRYING)
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
We know you're in here,
La Sombrerona.
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
Ah-ha! Got you!
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
(GRUNTING)
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
That's it.
I'm melting your hats.
(GASPING)
Okay. No heat vision
in the house of mirrors.
Good safety tip.
Where are you?
(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
(GRUNTS)
Ah-ha!
La Sombrerona.
(SHATTERING)
I can't even calculate
how many years
of bad luck that is.
(BELL DINGING)
And we have a winner.
(GROANS)
Yes!
Another one
for your pile
of humiliation.
Look how
big it's getting.
Let's go again.
I... I, oh...
I don't have
any more money.
Pathetic.
Oh, my watch!
No, that belonged
to my grandfather.
(GASPS) How about my
other grandfather's watch?
Here we go.
Shoot the water
into the clown's mouth
in a vain attempt to win
the affections of the girl
who only sees you
as a friend.
We have not
established that yet.
Your reign of terror
is about to end,
La Sombrerona.
Argh, I hate that name!
Once something
pops up on the Internet,
it's impossible
to get rid of it.
So you didn't
have five husbands
who died in tragic
but amusing ways?
Yes, that part is true.
But why is everyone
focused on my husbands?
I'm the one
out here ruining
everyone's happiness.
Like this!
(CRYING)
Life has no meaning.
HAMSTER: I'm so hurt.
GRETEL: I'm so sad.
What are you staring at?
You suck happiness
out of people.
Hilarious.
I'll show
you hilarious!
Hmm?
(GRETEL CRYING)
I'm going to start
my reign of misery
over there,
with the happier people.
(LAUGHS AND SCREAMS)
(SCREAMS)
What's the matter?
Fly after her.
Do your
superheroine thing.
I'm so sad.
(CRYING) Me, too.
(BOTH CRYING)
I'm going to eat
my feelings.
I'll have
the deep-fried cabbage.
(CRYING)
Extra cheese.
Can't you
think of something?
Well, she wants
to make everyone sad
because she never
got to have any fun.
That is so sad.
(BOTH CRYING)
So sad.
We could probably
solve all of this
if we just showed
La Sombrerona
a good time.
But who's gonna
make her have fun?
Yeah, no offense,
but we're
out of commission.
And you two aren't exactly
the life of the party.
Oh, yeah,
at your Uncle Ernesto's
wedding,
they said I threw
the best hora loca
they had ever seen.
It's like five parties
stuffed into one party,
then dipped in
a totally different party.
Wait a second Winifred,
do you think we could...
You had me at loca.
(SALSA MUSIC PLAYING)
Hey, everybody,
it's time for
the hora loca.
That's the best part
of the party. Vamos.
♪ Dance on a table
Stand on a chair
♪ Finish the portrait
using your hair
♪ And double Dutch
with a kangaroo
♪ Juggle your niece
and your nephew too
♪ It's time to throw
depression to the wind
♪ Good times are coming
Grab your ese
♪ Have you been into
an airplane
♪ Upside down plane
♪ Banjo duet with
an out of work clown named Joe
♪ If you're moping
and feeling down
come along with us
♪ We're gonna turn it around
Like whoa
♪ Now is the hour
to go crazy
♪ That's just
a direct translation
♪ So these lyrics are lazy
♪ Tell your madre to
♪ Tell your padre to
♪ Tell everybody
♪ We're livin' it up
at the hora loca
♪ It's a fiesta
♪ You and a guest-a
♪ Won't be depressed-a
♪ 'Cause we're livin' it up
at the hora loca ♪
(LAUGHING)
I've never had
so much fun.
That was awesome.
Now, everyone's so happy
that it will be even
more painful for them
when I suck out
their happiness again!
What?
Think years of trauma can be
cured by 15 minutes of fun?
My husbands were
eaten by tigers!
(CRYING)
(ALL CRYING)
Is it weird that
I found her more creepy
when she was smiling?
Hamster, it looks like
the power comes
from the hat.
It's time to take
the sombrero
out of the sombrerona.
So she'll just be "na"?
Exactly.
(GRUNTING)
You made me
look ridiculous!
Yeah, 'cause those
five hats were totally fire.
Why is there
a radio tower
on your head?
When I lost my five husbands,
did I wallow in self-pity?
No. I studied neuroscience
and electrical engineering
until I discovered a way
to remove the happiness
from other people.
Unfortunately, that meant
permanently attaching
this to my head,
but we all make sacrifices.
And now it's time
for your sacrifice!
I don't think we made
things any better.
(BELL DINGING)
Yo, you're
wasting your money.
You wanna play
another round?
Dude, you're losing
to a five-year-old man.
Okay, fine.
Take it.
Nice, for that
you get two rounds.
(BELL DINGS)
Yeah!
His water pistol
is stronger!
This game is rigged!
It's a carnival.
Everything is rigged.
Anyone want a watch?
(GRUNTS)
Ah-ha!
Here we go.
(BELL DINGS)
(SCREAMS)
Fool! No one can stop...
(DINGS)
Using the antenna
from a scary character
in South American folklore
is unusual but not forbidden.
We have a winner.
Uh, what?
Aw! Did you
win that for me?
(GASPS) I hope you didn't
spend too much money.
No, no, it...
It was super easy.
Don't worry about it.
What happened to your
grandfather's watch?
Oh, it went
to a good cause.
La Sombrerona,
you have the right
to stop being
such a buzzkill.
I'll tell ya, Abuelita,
that hora loca
was pretty loca.
Didn't know
you had it in you.
I did,
and now I don't.
Hora loca
is officially over.
Everyone
stop having fun.
Go, do your chores.
Well, all except
for you.
You earned
a little fun.
(SALSA MUSIC PLAYING)
All right,
that's enough.
Just kidding.
♪ Living it up
in the hora loca ♪