Halfway Across the Galaxy and Turn Left (1993–…): Season 1, Episode 18 - Understanding the Material World - full transcript
Basement, that's what I need.
Why did Father want to move?
Very fancy...
He met Michelle's villainous cousin.
They saw the potential of the money tree and took me and Qwrk hostage.
I want every leaf to be a grand, okay?
Let's do it.
Lox, Jenny and Colin saved us.
The funny thing was, they thought they'd seen the rubot.
But that's wrong, because Dad got rid of it.
But laughter is the last laugh!
Qwrk zoned in on a hangman from a painting
They were really scared.
But that wasn't all.
I want to report a crime.
We must act...
Now!
Michelle got even for everything she'd done.
Here he comes...
Hold each other now.
You're going on a little trip, boys.
We have to watch him constantly.
I've got a project to finish, so that's you.
It's your move.
But David is so jealous already.
He'll kill me.
Lead is the only homework you bastards understand.
-Colin can do it, can't he?
-He, who came up with the cowboy thing!
I'm supposed to be helping Mom with the fashion show.
You can take him.
-And you can help, Qwrk.
-No, I can't.
-What are you doing that's so important?
-Nothing. Just poking around.
Channel 3, hello... I'm connecting.
Channel 3, hello...
Sure, I'll connect you.
Can I help you?
Channel three, hello...
Excuse me... Of course.
There was a shooting in a dark barn.
The Duke is crawling like a snake through the dark.
Does it have to be like this?
Astrella, there must be an end to this. I can't stand it.
Don't be fooled.
Is he bothering you?
Talk like people. This is reality.
Come on, David. Let's go outside.
Actually, that was his move.
Yes, Astrella. I'm just jealous, I guess.
-I'll come when I'm ready.
-You promise?
I promise.
-If he bothers you again...
-You're the one causing trouble.
-Hello, everybody!
-What did the agent say?
What's that smell?
My dresses!
Dovis, hurry up!
Lox, do you know anything about this?
All work... Oh no!
Aren't you going to practice the Beethoven piece?
I'm taking a break.
Why is that so exciting?
...an unknown source of energy that exists beyond the galaxy called the photon.
-What is it?
-Don't ask me.
The winner was clear, until this morning...
when a late entry came in with the "deep space theory" entry.
It won first prize.
The contestant's address had been obliterated, but our forensic scientist deciphered it.
So we know where you live, Deep Space.
Why didn't they give their name?
I'm calling the number now.
I hope they're home. It's ringing.
Mortimer Jackson...
Robin Questor from Helg Science.
Is "Deep Space" on there?
"Deep Space"?
I think you need another satellite.
It's the Jackson family.
-May I speak to "Deep Space" who...
-Wrong number.
has won $10,000.
Yes, that's the right number.
Are you Deep Thought, Mortimer?
What are we going to do with the money?
I'm flexible, on the whole.
The panel is on fire about your thesis on photons.
Are you picking up the prize money tomorrow?
We're not going to drag it out.
I'll be there now.
No, you'll get your prize money after you speak to the Astro-Physical Society.
And it'll be televised.
Would a regular science show be a big deal?
But I've got three buyers coming in from Paris, and I don't have anything to show them.
The problem is that Qwrk, who never thinks, has put us in danger.
I just wanted to explain what the photon is.
So you want to appear on TV as an 8-year-old astrophysicist?
I didn't know that.
Anyway, Father's going over there now.
What does Dad know about quasi-stellar light sources?
Kvasi... what?
-There's only one way out.
-There's only one way out.
Qwrk will have to teach you so you can speak to the Astro-Physical Society.
Can't we simulate Qwrk to look like Father?
Brilliant! You're a genius.
One genius at a time, please.
Our powers are weakening as we speak.
What if Qwrk was re-simulated during the broadcast?
-Is that likely?
-It is possible.
You have until noon tomorrow to learn all you can about photons.
-Oh, great.
-I think you should start right away.
Come on, you've heard of electro-magnetic waves, right?
-Of course I have.
-Then describe them.
Heard of them, yes.
What are they?
You want help with that, don't you?
No, I'll show the Paris buyers the patterns and ask them to pretend.
Why don't you order some more fabric and sew them up again?
Do you know how long it took to dye them like the fabrics at Zyrgon?
It takes weeks!
Shall we kinetise material from Zyrgon?
X has strictly forbidden such things, hasn't he, X?
Right, X?
-It's harder now.
-Concentrate.
But why is e=mc squared?
Is that really true?
The deuce fits best with m.
You have to memorize this theorem.
Good morning. Good morning.
Is it today? I was hoping it was still yesterday.
How does it look?
Hopeless, he's not ready to answer the questions.
He has to!
-What if I lost my voice?
-And I spoke.
Yeah, like one of those funny little Punch and Judy dolls.
-Variables equal...
-3 x X!
-They'll know the difference.
-They'll notice.
-But if they can't hear me...
-How?
-Testing, testing... One, two, three.
-Crystal clear.
-Very clever, Qwrk.
-You have to find the right frequency.
903 here. I'm on Renmarksgatan...
What was that?
A taxi?
Take it easy, it must be very close.
I know; don't you want to eat hamburgers at that Scottish place?
Another time.
Let's go to channel three.
-This is going to end badly.
-No; science is so behind here.
How badly it sits.
-Hurry up.
-I can't believe you didn't notice.
Mirrors that are so important.
You go in and start and I'll come back later.
I can't do that. It's live TV!
Come on, Dad.
Qwrk, let's take the bull by the horns.
I can't tell them I'm an astro... whatever it's called.
Because... it's something I haven't told anyone.
-I cheated on the physics test.
-All of them?
No, on one I paid someone to write instead of me.
Dad, you can't back out now.
Just do what we agreed.
-You know the lecture.
-You have the radio for the questions.
And I'm in the front.
What could happen?
Believe me, anything can happen!
I forgot the opening remarks.
Remember, the cute red tractor is craving fudge.
So, sound, radio...
...television, light and cosmic waves.
Cute, red, sound, radio, tractor...
Did you attach the rearview mirror?
-Dad, concentrate!
-I... I...
Welcome to Science Weekend.
Let's get started right away.
Mortimer, what's a photon?
-Oh, no...
-Oh, please.
Don't be shy. Use the screen.
Best way to explain it...
is to think of an electro-magnetic wave spectrum.
With its sound...
...radio, television and cosmic wavelengths.
And finally, at the top, photons.
Lox, can you hand me that fabric?
I'll take it!
Here, Astrella. He's out of his mind.
The models have to try these on, but first they have to be pressed.
I'll do it.
No! No! No!
You've already done enough.
In other words, every time we think a thought...
very weak electrical currents run through our cells...
causing tiny electro-magnetic waves to travel into space.
Eventually, they become strong enough to be seen by telescopes.
They're photons.
-Thank you.
-Dad!
Thank you for the clear explanation.
Do we have any questions?
Now then...
-Professor Goudy?
-Why haven't photons been seen before?
The instruments weren't good enough.
Excuse me.
It's still off.
I'm a little hard of hearing.
Why haven't we seen photons before?
Oh, yeah, before?
Well... the answer is very simple...
We haven't...
-Ham, olives and mushrooms.
-What?
2 Riley Street, Westbridge.
-What?
-That is to say...
Cappricosa, not anchovies.
There's a pizza place outside.
What I mean is...
Marinara with everything.
-I think that...
-And extra garlic!
We'll be back after the break.
-What are you doing?
-We're sorry.
-We didn't mean to.
-Are you a scientist?
Yes, since a short time ago.
Actually, I'm a chef.
Stop talking about pizza and start talking about photons or I'll be ruined.
I'll take quizzes and the late weather and you'll be charged with fraud.
-Is that understood?
-I understand.
I'm gonna count to ten.
Five, four, three, two...
Are we done?
This is Weekend Science, where we had a technical glitch.
We'll take questions from the audience. Yes?
Could Mr. Jackson clarify a point?
How can photons generate energy?
Excuse me?
How can thought waves, once they've been collected, reinforce each other?
Yes, but...
I ask because I developed a similar theory several years ago...
...but came to the conclusion that it was untenable.
The reason is that thoughts are always positive or negative.
Can we get a camera on that man.
Do you mean good or bad?
Exactly, so when they gather in space, they neutralize each other.
-So they don't reinforce each other?
-No, they don't.
So photons couldn't have been created this way?
Dad?
My own research shows that it's a metaphysical impossibility.
What do you say, Mr. Jackson?
-What is it, Mother?
-The models.
The what?
They say that cyclic is radioactive.
That's ridiculous!
Zycrylic has a high light factor, but it's completely harmless.
They've banned the collection until the health department checks.
And bad news travels fast.
We're not allowed in the showroom.
How unfair!
What a disappointment to have everything ready on time and then have to cancel.
Where am I going to find two gorgeous models who can show clothes for five hours?
What about me?
-Yes, but there's only one.
-And Astrella.
Yes, but where am I going to show it?
I know where to show it.
Where on the planet is he?
It's all his fault, and then he disappears!
"Metaphysical impossibility" sounded good, didn't it?
Let me introduce myself.
Professor Jackson Qwrk at your service.
Why didn't you say something?
Robin Questor drove me home, and I saw you, but I couldn't stay.
I think it was worth it, don't you?
Who wants ice cream?
Tripple chocolate, on me.
For formal occasions...
But that doesn't mean stiff.
You can look dapper at the opera or the ball and still attract attention.
Say something personal about your taste with the zycro suit.
Or the cyclo suit.
-Magnificent!
-Fantastic!
Galactic!
You were wonderful.
It was nothing.
Now...
What a day of triumphs it's been.
Lox and Astrella here tonight, and then Dad making a TV hit.
Very productive day.
I have something important to tell you, so listen up.
Thanks for all the help. I don't know how we did it, but we did it.
And it all went so well...
that I've been invited to show the collection in Paris.
Do I have to speak Iranian?
I thought I'd let you know that it's just an invitation.
But I'm sure you understand.
Are you going?
-Sure, it's the chance of a lifetime.
-Without us?
You can do without me for a while, can't you?
-Can't you?
-Sure, we can.
Why did Father want to move?
Very fancy...
He met Michelle's villainous cousin.
They saw the potential of the money tree and took me and Qwrk hostage.
I want every leaf to be a grand, okay?
Let's do it.
Lox, Jenny and Colin saved us.
The funny thing was, they thought they'd seen the rubot.
But that's wrong, because Dad got rid of it.
But laughter is the last laugh!
Qwrk zoned in on a hangman from a painting
They were really scared.
But that wasn't all.
I want to report a crime.
We must act...
Now!
Michelle got even for everything she'd done.
Here he comes...
Hold each other now.
You're going on a little trip, boys.
We have to watch him constantly.
I've got a project to finish, so that's you.
It's your move.
But David is so jealous already.
He'll kill me.
Lead is the only homework you bastards understand.
-Colin can do it, can't he?
-He, who came up with the cowboy thing!
I'm supposed to be helping Mom with the fashion show.
You can take him.
-And you can help, Qwrk.
-No, I can't.
-What are you doing that's so important?
-Nothing. Just poking around.
Channel 3, hello... I'm connecting.
Channel 3, hello...
Sure, I'll connect you.
Can I help you?
Channel three, hello...
Excuse me... Of course.
There was a shooting in a dark barn.
The Duke is crawling like a snake through the dark.
Does it have to be like this?
Astrella, there must be an end to this. I can't stand it.
Don't be fooled.
Is he bothering you?
Talk like people. This is reality.
Come on, David. Let's go outside.
Actually, that was his move.
Yes, Astrella. I'm just jealous, I guess.
-I'll come when I'm ready.
-You promise?
I promise.
-If he bothers you again...
-You're the one causing trouble.
-Hello, everybody!
-What did the agent say?
What's that smell?
My dresses!
Dovis, hurry up!
Lox, do you know anything about this?
All work... Oh no!
Aren't you going to practice the Beethoven piece?
I'm taking a break.
Why is that so exciting?
...an unknown source of energy that exists beyond the galaxy called the photon.
-What is it?
-Don't ask me.
The winner was clear, until this morning...
when a late entry came in with the "deep space theory" entry.
It won first prize.
The contestant's address had been obliterated, but our forensic scientist deciphered it.
So we know where you live, Deep Space.
Why didn't they give their name?
I'm calling the number now.
I hope they're home. It's ringing.
Mortimer Jackson...
Robin Questor from Helg Science.
Is "Deep Space" on there?
"Deep Space"?
I think you need another satellite.
It's the Jackson family.
-May I speak to "Deep Space" who...
-Wrong number.
has won $10,000.
Yes, that's the right number.
Are you Deep Thought, Mortimer?
What are we going to do with the money?
I'm flexible, on the whole.
The panel is on fire about your thesis on photons.
Are you picking up the prize money tomorrow?
We're not going to drag it out.
I'll be there now.
No, you'll get your prize money after you speak to the Astro-Physical Society.
And it'll be televised.
Would a regular science show be a big deal?
But I've got three buyers coming in from Paris, and I don't have anything to show them.
The problem is that Qwrk, who never thinks, has put us in danger.
I just wanted to explain what the photon is.
So you want to appear on TV as an 8-year-old astrophysicist?
I didn't know that.
Anyway, Father's going over there now.
What does Dad know about quasi-stellar light sources?
Kvasi... what?
-There's only one way out.
-There's only one way out.
Qwrk will have to teach you so you can speak to the Astro-Physical Society.
Can't we simulate Qwrk to look like Father?
Brilliant! You're a genius.
One genius at a time, please.
Our powers are weakening as we speak.
What if Qwrk was re-simulated during the broadcast?
-Is that likely?
-It is possible.
You have until noon tomorrow to learn all you can about photons.
-Oh, great.
-I think you should start right away.
Come on, you've heard of electro-magnetic waves, right?
-Of course I have.
-Then describe them.
Heard of them, yes.
What are they?
You want help with that, don't you?
No, I'll show the Paris buyers the patterns and ask them to pretend.
Why don't you order some more fabric and sew them up again?
Do you know how long it took to dye them like the fabrics at Zyrgon?
It takes weeks!
Shall we kinetise material from Zyrgon?
X has strictly forbidden such things, hasn't he, X?
Right, X?
-It's harder now.
-Concentrate.
But why is e=mc squared?
Is that really true?
The deuce fits best with m.
You have to memorize this theorem.
Good morning. Good morning.
Is it today? I was hoping it was still yesterday.
How does it look?
Hopeless, he's not ready to answer the questions.
He has to!
-What if I lost my voice?
-And I spoke.
Yeah, like one of those funny little Punch and Judy dolls.
-Variables equal...
-3 x X!
-They'll know the difference.
-They'll notice.
-But if they can't hear me...
-How?
-Testing, testing... One, two, three.
-Crystal clear.
-Very clever, Qwrk.
-You have to find the right frequency.
903 here. I'm on Renmarksgatan...
What was that?
A taxi?
Take it easy, it must be very close.
I know; don't you want to eat hamburgers at that Scottish place?
Another time.
Let's go to channel three.
-This is going to end badly.
-No; science is so behind here.
How badly it sits.
-Hurry up.
-I can't believe you didn't notice.
Mirrors that are so important.
You go in and start and I'll come back later.
I can't do that. It's live TV!
Come on, Dad.
Qwrk, let's take the bull by the horns.
I can't tell them I'm an astro... whatever it's called.
Because... it's something I haven't told anyone.
-I cheated on the physics test.
-All of them?
No, on one I paid someone to write instead of me.
Dad, you can't back out now.
Just do what we agreed.
-You know the lecture.
-You have the radio for the questions.
And I'm in the front.
What could happen?
Believe me, anything can happen!
I forgot the opening remarks.
Remember, the cute red tractor is craving fudge.
So, sound, radio...
...television, light and cosmic waves.
Cute, red, sound, radio, tractor...
Did you attach the rearview mirror?
-Dad, concentrate!
-I... I...
Welcome to Science Weekend.
Let's get started right away.
Mortimer, what's a photon?
-Oh, no...
-Oh, please.
Don't be shy. Use the screen.
Best way to explain it...
is to think of an electro-magnetic wave spectrum.
With its sound...
...radio, television and cosmic wavelengths.
And finally, at the top, photons.
Lox, can you hand me that fabric?
I'll take it!
Here, Astrella. He's out of his mind.
The models have to try these on, but first they have to be pressed.
I'll do it.
No! No! No!
You've already done enough.
In other words, every time we think a thought...
very weak electrical currents run through our cells...
causing tiny electro-magnetic waves to travel into space.
Eventually, they become strong enough to be seen by telescopes.
They're photons.
-Thank you.
-Dad!
Thank you for the clear explanation.
Do we have any questions?
Now then...
-Professor Goudy?
-Why haven't photons been seen before?
The instruments weren't good enough.
Excuse me.
It's still off.
I'm a little hard of hearing.
Why haven't we seen photons before?
Oh, yeah, before?
Well... the answer is very simple...
We haven't...
-Ham, olives and mushrooms.
-What?
2 Riley Street, Westbridge.
-What?
-That is to say...
Cappricosa, not anchovies.
There's a pizza place outside.
What I mean is...
Marinara with everything.
-I think that...
-And extra garlic!
We'll be back after the break.
-What are you doing?
-We're sorry.
-We didn't mean to.
-Are you a scientist?
Yes, since a short time ago.
Actually, I'm a chef.
Stop talking about pizza and start talking about photons or I'll be ruined.
I'll take quizzes and the late weather and you'll be charged with fraud.
-Is that understood?
-I understand.
I'm gonna count to ten.
Five, four, three, two...
Are we done?
This is Weekend Science, where we had a technical glitch.
We'll take questions from the audience. Yes?
Could Mr. Jackson clarify a point?
How can photons generate energy?
Excuse me?
How can thought waves, once they've been collected, reinforce each other?
Yes, but...
I ask because I developed a similar theory several years ago...
...but came to the conclusion that it was untenable.
The reason is that thoughts are always positive or negative.
Can we get a camera on that man.
Do you mean good or bad?
Exactly, so when they gather in space, they neutralize each other.
-So they don't reinforce each other?
-No, they don't.
So photons couldn't have been created this way?
Dad?
My own research shows that it's a metaphysical impossibility.
What do you say, Mr. Jackson?
-What is it, Mother?
-The models.
The what?
They say that cyclic is radioactive.
That's ridiculous!
Zycrylic has a high light factor, but it's completely harmless.
They've banned the collection until the health department checks.
And bad news travels fast.
We're not allowed in the showroom.
How unfair!
What a disappointment to have everything ready on time and then have to cancel.
Where am I going to find two gorgeous models who can show clothes for five hours?
What about me?
-Yes, but there's only one.
-And Astrella.
Yes, but where am I going to show it?
I know where to show it.
Where on the planet is he?
It's all his fault, and then he disappears!
"Metaphysical impossibility" sounded good, didn't it?
Let me introduce myself.
Professor Jackson Qwrk at your service.
Why didn't you say something?
Robin Questor drove me home, and I saw you, but I couldn't stay.
I think it was worth it, don't you?
Who wants ice cream?
Tripple chocolate, on me.
For formal occasions...
But that doesn't mean stiff.
You can look dapper at the opera or the ball and still attract attention.
Say something personal about your taste with the zycro suit.
Or the cyclo suit.
-Magnificent!
-Fantastic!
Galactic!
You were wonderful.
It was nothing.
Now...
What a day of triumphs it's been.
Lox and Astrella here tonight, and then Dad making a TV hit.
Very productive day.
I have something important to tell you, so listen up.
Thanks for all the help. I don't know how we did it, but we did it.
And it all went so well...
that I've been invited to show the collection in Paris.
Do I have to speak Iranian?
I thought I'd let you know that it's just an invitation.
But I'm sure you understand.
Are you going?
-Sure, it's the chance of a lifetime.
-Without us?
You can do without me for a while, can't you?
-Can't you?
-Sure, we can.