Gunsmoke (1955–1975): Season 5, Episode 21 - Hinka Do - full transcript

Matt has reason to believe that new overweight, gun toting, straight shooting, female owner of Lady Gay saloon, may have killed the previous owner, or did she?


Starring James
Arness as Matt Dillon.

You know, on the frontier,

the saloons are about
the goin'est places in town.

And Dodge is filled with them.

A man can lose his wages,
his girl, or even his life

in the course of
one short evening.

On any given night
you'll find them filled

with the pilgrims
of the high plains...

Buffalo hunters,
gamblers, trail hands,

and ordinary
citizens on the prod.

But the one to keep
an eye on is the owner.

He's the one who has
to be able to skin a bear

or out-talk a curly wolf.

Matt Dillon, U.S. marshal.

Oh, Matt! Matt,
hold on a minute.

- Doc.
- Hi.

I was just coming
over to see you.

You heard about the Lady Gay?

No. What happened?

Oh, you haven't heard
then, or you wouldn't ask.

No. What is it?

Well, if you're going that way,
come on I'll walk over with you.

All right.

Matter of fact, I was
going over that way.

Say, what's the crowd
doing over there?

That's what I mean.
Why don't you find out?

If there's something you
like better than a secret,

I don't know what it is.

Mr. Dillon! Mr. Dillon!

Have you heard
about the Lady Gay?

Not you, too!

He's the only man in town
that hasn't heard, Chester.

"Notice. The Lady Gay
Saloon will reopen at 6:00 sharp.

New management and new
policy. Everybody welcome."

Hey, Pete! Hey, Pete!

All right, hold it!

Come on! Come on! Quiet down!

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

If any of you men can read,

you can see the sign says 6:00.

Now, it ain't 6:00
yet so simmer down.

- What's she look like, Pete?
- Huh?

I say, what's she look like?

If I told you, you
wouldn't believe it.

Well? Well, what do
you make of it, Mr. Dillon?

I don't know. Has the
place been closed all day?

Well, that sign's been there
since daybreak this morning.

Hmm. Well, I can't
see her lasting.

I... I can't see two women
running saloons in Dodge.

- Well, she...
- I don't know about that.

There ought to be enough
business in town for both of us.

Well, you see, the reason you do
all right over at the Long Branch there

is because you got respectable
customers like us here.

Oh. Well, I don't know

whether I'd go so far as
to call you respectable.

Have you seen her?

No, no. Nobody's seen her.

She must've come
in late last night.

Hmm. Probably some
frilly-headed little Boston fluff.

Well, after you all have
satisfied your curiosity,

come on over to the Long
Branch and have a really cold beer.

Well, we won't be there
right away because we want

to stay here and have
a look at her, you know.

Oh, Doc, you just look
'til your heart's content.

I'll see you later.

You suppose that Herman
Bleaker went and sold out?

Well, he must have. The
sign says new owner Mamie.


Well, he sure didn't say
anything to me about it

- yesterday morning.
- You know, that's right.

I seen him over there
at the livery stable

yesterday afternoon.

He was over there showing
off one of them fancy vests

that he always
orders from back east.

He didn't say a thing about it.

Must have been a fast sale.

Too fast if you ask me.

As a matter of fact, I
ain't seen him today at all.

It's the first time
I can recollect

that he ain't been walking
up and down Front Street,

preening hisself
like a pouter pigeon.

Oh, well, I don't think
anything's happened to him

or anything like that. He'll
be here, you wait and see.

He'll introduce that new woman.


Howdy, strangers!
Welcome to the Lady Gay!

Come on in, boys!

Hold up there a minute

before you start
swiggin' that stuff!

Boys, looks like we're going
to be doing business together.

So let's get things straight
right from the beginning.

I'll get you straight!

Now, in the first place,

the minute you stick
your foot inside that door,

you're on my stomping ground.

I'm the boss of this shebang,
and don't ever forget it.

I tell anybody to hop, he hops.

That all clear?

Ah, shut up and go home.

I aim to give the
squarest deal in town here.

All the liquor's going
to be aged over 30 days

and the dancing girls
aged under 30 years.

The liquor's straight and
the girls are... grateful.

The decks only have four aces,

and all the cards read
only from the front side.

You'll get a fair
shake for your money.

But I ain't going to
stand for no fandangling.

And another thing is...

Shut up, you big mouth.

Mister, I'm talkin'.

So am I, you ol' battleaxe.

Excuse me, boys.

Pete, he pay for his drink?

Yes, ma'am.

All right, you wall-eyed
maverick, come on!

This way!

Now, as I was saying, boys...

I just ain't going to
stand for no fandangling.

Now, maybe some of you figured

I was wearing this here
six-shooter for decoration.

Well, just cast your
eye on the ace of spades

I got tacked up
on the back wall.

Dead center.

All right, boys, first
drink's on the house.

That's the last free
drink you'll ever get here.

The only credit I give
is for funeral expenses.

So belly up!

Well, that is pretty
straight shootin', Mr. Dillon.

Uh-huh. Pretty fast, too.


Well, you boys better go and
take advantage of that free drink.

Well now, you
must be the marshal.

That's right,
ma'am. Matt Dillon.

Proud to shake
your hand, Mr. Dillon.

Well, thank you.
Welcome to Dodge City.

Mighty nice of you to express
the sentiment, Marshal.

Reckon you won't have to
bother with this place much

from here on in.

I'll take care of any
trouble that starts.

Well, that'll be quite a change.

Some of the boys used
to push Herman around

every now and then.

Ah, that runty
little prairie dog!

You know, I didn't know
he was planning to sell.

He must have made up
his mind in a hurry, huh?

He sure did,
Marshal. Just like that.

Mm-hmm. Changed his living
quarters, I suppose, has he?

Yep. Moved right out last night.

You have any idea
where he's holed up?

Well, I, uh, believe he
might have left town, Marshal.

Now that I recall, I think
he said something about

going to St. Louis or
someplace like that.


Well, if he comes back,
let me know, will you?

There's a couple of
things I'd like to ask him.

I sure will, Marshal.

Thank you.

Drop in again anytime.

What'd she say about
Herman, Mr. Dillon?

She thinks he left town.


Let's get out of here, hmm?

A nightcap?

No. No, thanks. Why
don't you have one?


You didn't, by any chance,
go by the livery stable, did you?

Yeah. I just came
from there. Hmm.

Find anything out?

Well, Bleaker's horse is still
there, and Moss Grimmick said

he didn't say anything
about leaving town.

Ah. He didn't leave town, Doc.

She came in on the
9:00 train last night.

There's only one train
out after that, at midnight.

And Bleaker wasn't on it.

Stage line?

No, I checked the agent there.

Well, that settles
it. She done him in.

Well, now wait a minute.

You can't jump to
conclusions like that.

I mean, he could be holed up
somewhere around here, you know.

Might be in a rooming house...

Oh, Mr. Dillon, I... I just
checked every rooming house

and hotel along Front Street.

Herman Bleaker
ain't in none of them.

As a matter of fact,

ain't nobody seen him
since 9:00 last night.

But Manuel, here, I just
run into him down the street.

He says that he's got
something he'd like to tell you.

All right, Manuel.

Buenas noches, Señores.

What's on your mind?

Uh, my friend Antonio who
is work at the railroad depot,

he has told me you
have come down

and asked about the little one,

Señor Bleaker, and
about the other, the señora.

She is like one great oso,
like one bear, you call it.

Well, did you come to tell me
something about her or Bleaker?

Sí, Señor, about the señora.

Last night I see something
which is most strange.

What was it?

I am come home
very late last night.

One hour, two hour
before the dawn.

I was visit... with a
friend, you understand.

I understand.

I walk home in much
hurry, and all of a sudden

on a root cellar, which is
on the bank of the arroyo,

I see a door open
and a lantern is coming.

And this lantern is
coming toward me,

closer and closer and closer.

And when it is almost next
to me, Señor, it is this woman,

who I never seen
no one like her.

What a scare, Señor!

Well, I can understand that.

What was she doing?

No sabe, Señor.

Oh! But is now
the important thing.

She was carrying
something in the hand.

What was it?

A shovel, Señor.

Hold up, Matt.

It's soft here, I think.

See that?

Find something?

By golly, them's
Herman's boots, all right.

See that gold
braid around there?

I'd recognize them anywhere.

- Sure of that?
- Well, yeah.

I've seen him wear
'em lots of times.

Need some help with that?

Sure seems a shame, don't it?

I mean, he didn't cause
nobody no trouble at all

that I know of.

There it is.

That's all I got.

What is it?

Well, that's hardpan. That's
as deep as the hole goes.

Well, that sure ain't
big enough for a body.


You mean, you think she
buried him somewheres else?

Well, that... that coat there...
Well, that could be anybody's.

I've seen a lot of
them around Dodge.

Wait a minute.

The're only one fella who
can wear a vest like that

around town... that's Herman's.

- Yeah.
- Hold on here a minute.

What is this?

Don't look to me like he's ever
going to wear it again, though.

Why, Doc?

That looks like blood to me.

Well, this does not have
to be very conclusive.

Maybe this'll be
a waste of time.

Pretty sure it'll be
human blood, though.

And if it is...

You're sure going to
have to arrest that woman.

Doc, how'd you like to
try and arrest that woman?

No, sir. Not me.

Yeah, you have
quite a problem there.

I don't recall...

if you've ever been in
quite such a predicament.

You know, she's just...

she's just crazy enough
to start a gunfight with you.

Mm-hmm. I know.

She's awful fast on the draw,
too. Like chained lightning.

Oh, yeah.

Now, Doc, look here.

That blood could
have gotten on that vest

in a lot of different ways.
Maybe Herman hurt himself,

or maybe he was skinning
a deer or something.

This is very interesting.

What is it?

This is sure enough
blood from a higher animal.

A higher animal? What
are you talking about?

Well, I mean, it's not a chicken

or a rabbit or
anything like that.

Why not?

Well, if it would,
there'd be a nucleus.

Well, you wouldn't
understand it, but it's, uh,

it's blood from a higher
animal, a human or a monkey.

- Something like that.
- What is it?

Well, how long's it been since
you've seen a monkey in Dodge?

So did you talk to the barkeep?

Yeah. He said that when
he come to work this morning

that... that Mamie was
inside waiting for him

and that she told him to come
back at 5:00 this afternoon.

Had he seen Herman?

No. No, he hadn't
seen Herman at all.

Hadn't seen him
since 9:00 last night.

Yeah, there you are.

Hmm. Just a minute.

Just because Herman
has disappeared

doesn't necessarily mean that
Mamie had anything to do with it.

Well, then how do you
suppose she's running the store

and telling everybody
she's the owner?

How come she told
you that Herman left town

and... and then she went
and buried his clothes

in the middle of the night?

You know, Doc, I think
I'll just deputize you

and let you make the arrest.

No, sir. I wouldn't raise
my hand against a woman.

Especially that one.

Well, now just a
minute there, Mr. Dillon.

I mean, shooting at a
card is a whole lot different

than a real gunfight.

I'll bet you if you
tried to arrest her,

she wouldn't even resist at all.

You really believe that?


Yeah. Well, then let's go.

I got to get that gun
away from her somehow.

Well, that ain't
gonna be no easy job.

I've never drawn a
gun on a woman yet,

and I don't aim to start now.

Come on over, Marshal!

I think I got an idea
that might work.

Just go along with me, will you?


Hello, Mamie.

Mighty glad you
dropped in again, boys.

Well, we just thought we'd stop
by to see how you're getting along.

Like a kid with an all-day
sucker and two tongues.

Well, did you find that little
weasel Herman Bleaker yet?

No, you said he left town.

Well, I thought he might have

seeing that he said
something about it.

Ah, forget that little worm,
Marshal. Have a shot of poison.

No. No, thanks, Mamie.

As a matter of
fact, we came here

hoping you could
solve a little bet for us.

What kind of a bet?

Well, you know that shooting
of that ace of spades you did.

Chester here
thinks that's a fluke.

He doesn't believe you
can do that six times in a row.


Well, the card's still up there.

We can soon settle it.

Stand aside, boys.
Mamie's going to limber up.

You ain't hurt.
Stay where you are.

That's three.

All dead center.

That's five of 'em.

What's the matter, Mamie?

Well, I got me a set of
rules I go by, Marshal.

And one's never
to fire my last shot.


Well, that's a
good rule, I guess.

Reckon that loses
the bet for you.

Yeah, well, I reckon it does.

You hit it five times in a row.

You ain't likely to
miss a sixth time.

Mighty nice of you to
admit it there, Lester.


Lester, Chester. Still
mighty nice of you.

Say, Mamie, you know, that's
a pretty nice gun you got there.

Best shootin' iron on
the whole dang prairie.

Say, would you mind
if I take a look at that?

Mm-hmm. Chester, look
at that. That's a nice gun.

Oh, yes. That, uh...
Good... good balance.

You know, Mamie, I, uh, I
got a little trick of my own

I'd kind of like to
show you here.

Is that so?

Come here! Give
me your arm here.

There we are.

Now, what do you
think of that, huh?

You know, you're
under arrest, Mamie.

You... Hold on!
Hold on there now!

Just hold still.
You're chained to me,

and you're going to stay that
way until I get you in a cell,

so you might as
well get used to it.

Why, you no-good...
That's enough now!

Besides, you're going to
be better off in a jail anyway

after the word gets around.

You know, there was a lot of people
thought quite a bit of Herman Bleaker.

Oh, that runty,
sawed-off prairie dog!

No excuse for murderin'
him in cold blood!


It looks to me like
that's what happened.

You got a little explaining
to do, Mamie. Let's go.

But... I... You
heard him, Mamie!

You murdered me!


Biggest night of my
whole life, Marshal!

To hear somebody shut
Mamie up and make her take it.

The marshal's a
gentleman, you little weasel.

He knows how to talk to a lady!

And to hear you say how
much the town thinks of me,

that's real nice.

Herman, what's all this about?

I'll tell you what
it's all about!

This here little grub
worm run out on me

in Cincinnati three years ago,

and I've been huntin'
for him ever since!

Last night I caught up with him.

And I whaled the living
daylights out of him,

you little cockroach.

She pert near
killed me, Marshal.

I've been up there
in my room all day,

just too bruised and
embarrassed to hobble downstairs.

Why'd you bury his clothes?

Marshal, would you want
to be married to a man

that dressed the way he did?


Yes, married.

We've had our ups and downs
over the years, Herman and me.

But, well, you know how it is.

Yeah. Chester, you got
the key to these handcuffs?

Oh, yes, sir.

By golly, I did have them.
You suppose maybe I lost them

where we was digging?

Chester, haven't you got it?


Well, I guess maybe you ought
to go get a hacksaw or something.


But first, let's
all have a beer!

Yeah, let's all
have a beer! Move!

Well, I can think of a lot
worse fellas to be chained up to.

Well... here's to
the weaker sex.

Yeah, whichever one that is.

Marshal, you know which one.

Here, drink this!