Gunsmoke (1955–1975): Season 3, Episode 16 - Twelfth Night - full transcript

...starring James Arness
as Matt Dillon.

When two men lose their tempers
and go gunning for each other,

the law can sometimes step in
and force them

to call it off before
anybody gets killed.

But in the face of a feud,

a hundred-year-old grudge
of some kind,

the law's pretty helpless.

The only "calling off"
in a feud is the grave.

And I have to stand by
and watch.

Matt Dillon, U.S. Marshal.

What do you want?



This your town?

My town?

Are you acquainted here?

Well, been here a couple
of months- why?

I'm looking
for a marshal.

Marshal who?

Dillon.

Oh, you mean
the marshal.

All right, the marshal.

I don't care.

Where's he at?

He's got a office right
across the street there.

Then that's where
I'm a-goin'.

'Cause I sure want him.



You'll get yourself
shot, fella,

if you go after him.

Oh...

Ooh...

Oh, I'll tell ya, Doc,

it's about to drive me
right out of my mind!

Well, confound it,

if you'd hold still
for a minute, Chester.

It don't ache, though.

It just... every
once in a while,

there's just a
buzzin' goes on...

Oh, there it is!
Ooh... ooh...

What do you think
it could be, Doc?

Well, how in thunder
can I tell from here?!

Good gracious!

Go on, sit down there.

Come on, let Doc
look at it, Chester.

Right there
and hold still.

Well, all right.

Good heavens.

Well, what are
you going to do?

Well, now take it easy
with that thing, Doc.

Oh, never mind.

Easy now.

Stop being
such a baby.

Easy!
Wait a minute.

I'll be doggone.

Is it bad, Doc?

Huh?

Oh, what are you going
to do with that?!

Oh, stop it,
for heaven's sakes.

Well, be careful.

You got to hold still
or I can't...

Now take it easy, Chester.

Doc knows what he's doing.

Yeah, but I don't.

Ooh.

Well, can you
beat that.

What are you laughing at?

Has the buzzing stopped?

Yeah.

It's stopped?

Yeah.

Well, what did you
take out of there?

Well...

Well, I'll swan...

Well, that's just
a little old fly.

Did you get that
out of my ear?

He sure got
the nerve, ain't he?

In my ear.

You little devil.

Howdy.

How do you do?

Which one of you be...

the what do you call 'em?

The marshal?

Yeah, the marshal.

What is that?

Well, uh, the marshal's
kind of a peace officer.

I'm agin' peace officers.

This here a jailhouse?

You could call it that, yeah.

I agin' jailhouses, too.

Well, so am I, but sometimes
they're necessary.

No, they ain't.

No more than
the law is.

It ain't fitti''
for some folks

to meddle in other
folks's business.

Oh, where do they figure
it that way, friend?

Down in the Ozarks, maybe?

It's better country
than this.

And I'll thank you
to call me Eben Hakes.

All right, Eben Hakes,
I'm Doc Adams

and this here's
Chester Goode

and that's the marshal
you're talking to.

Man said you'd know where
Joth Monger'd be livin'.

Joth Monger?

Yeah, sure.

Come out here
about a year ago?

Brung a old mountain
gal with him?

His wife.

Yeah.

Well, where at are they?

Well, they got a place
up by Rock Creek.

About ten miles
north of here.

What kind of place?

Well, it's just
a little shack

and a patch of corn.

I'll find it.

You came a mighty long way

just to see a friend,
didn't you?

Joth Monger ain't
exactly a friend of mine.

I better get goin', it
being Saturday and all.

Saturday? What's that got
to do with it?

Nothing, 'cept I won't
kill no man on a Sunday.

Never have
and I never will.

Well, for heaven's sakes,
Mr. Dillon,

he's talking about
killing Joth Monger.

Well, he couldn't mean
it, could he, Matt?

Yep.
Huh?

He's too mountain
simple to lie, Doc.

Well, why didn't
you lock him up?

'Cause I'd just have
to turn him loose again.

Well, we better get out there
and tell Joth about this,

before he gets there.
I reckon we better.

Hello, Mrs. Monger.

Howdy.

How are you, ma'am?

Poorly, thank ya.

Is Joth around here,
Mrs. Monger?

Joth heels it into Dodge
every Saturday.

Every Saturday?

I never see him.

Well, iffin' he'd socialize
more, you'd see him.

Joth's got his ways.

They're lonesome ways,
but they're his'n.

Mrs. Monger, you
ever hear of a man

by the name of Eben Hakes?

Eben Hakes?

iffin' you speak that name
around here, Marshal,

you won't be welcome.

Trouble between you,
is there?

Well, iffin' you call Joth being
the only Monger left on earth,

and Eben being the only Hakes,

then I'd say
there was trouble.

I see. A feud, huh?

iffin' both families
were whittled down

to just them two,
I'd call it a feud.

How'd this feud
get started, anyway?

It's a family matter.

Where you be seeing
Eben Hakes, anyway?

Well, he was in Dodge,
asking about Joth.

iffin' he was asking,
he'll find him,

and that's bad.

Well, that's why
I rode out here.

iffin' Joth knew about
him, I wouldn't worry.

Joth's a better shot
than Eben Hakes any day.

Well, the law doesn't
recognize a feud

as a justification
for murder, ma'am.

Now whichever one of those men
kills the other one,

he's going to hang for it.

Marshal, iffin' you start
meddling, they'll shoot you.

But it's Joth I'm worried about.

He'll be drunk
soon as it's dark.

We'll find him, ma'am.

You'd better.

He'll be getting killed
iffin' you don't.

Good-bye, ma'am.
Bye.

Bye, Mrs. Monger.
Bye.

Hello, Hakes.

Joth Monger's place over
that way, ain't it, Marshal?

Yep.
Good.

Wait a minute, Hakes.

You don't care whether
you hang or not, do you?

Hang?

For shootin' a Monger?

For shooting anybody.
Didn't you ever hear of murder?

Marshal, you're gettin'
downright contrary.

Where's your horse?

I got no horse.

You trying
to say that...

that you walked clear
from the Ozarks?

I'd walk anywhere
to get me a Monger.

Well, forever more.

Maybe I ought to just throw you
into jail after all.

Now you are being meddlesome.

I gotta get over
to that there house.

Now don't you fret about
the old woman, Marshal.

I don't aim to shoot her.

Mr. Dillon...?
Huh?

Maybe you oughta just
let 'em shoot each other

and have done with it.

I'm tempted, Chester.

I don't see how
you're gonna stop 'em.

Neither do I.

Evening, Matt.

Hello, Kitty.

You looking
for somebody?

Yeah, but I don't
see him anywhere.

Chester will be
along in a minute.

Let's sit down, huh?
Fine.

Thank you.

It's almost midnight.
Where have you been?

I've been out looking
for Joth Monger.

Oh, what's he done?

Well, he hasn't done
anything yet,

but Chester and I
have been in and out

of every saloon in Dodge.

We've been looking
for him all night.

How come you tried
the Long Branch last?

I figured this place to be too
high-class for a man like Joth.

Well, I'll bet you a dollar,
he's sitting right out back.

Huh?

He sits out there every
Saturday night, Matt.

Buys a bottle of cheap whiskey
at the bar

and takes it outside
and drinks it-

all alone-
with his rifle in one hand

and the bottle in the other.

Never bothers anybody.

Just sits there all by himself.

Well, I'll be darned.

No wonder I've never
seen him around.

Evening, Miss Kitty.

Chester.

No luck,
Mr. Dillon.

Kitty says he might
be out in back, Chester.

Out back?
Yeah.

Would you go
take a look?

Well, all right,
I'll...

What... what would he
be doing out there?

Drinking.

Oh.

What's this
all about, Matt?

Well, it's a feud, Kitty.

A feud?

It's been a long time

since I heard of
a feud in Dodge.

Well, this one kind of got
transplanted from the Ozarks.

The only person I know
from the Ozarks is Joth.

Yeah, well, the other half
arrived today.

And on foot, too.

He walked?!

Yeah.

He's quite a traveling man.

His name is Eben Hakes.

He's after Joth, huh?

Yeah; he's pretty
convincing about it, too.

Well, what are you going
to do about it?

Besides getting caught

in the middle?

He was out there,
all right.

Course I made him leave

his rifle and his
whiskey out back.

Hello, Joth.

Say what you're
gonna say, Marshal.

I don't care to be cooped
up in this place very long.

All right.

Eben Hakes is looking for you.

Course he is.

The Mongers and the Hakes
been looking for one another

nigh on to 40 years.

Most of 'em got found, too.

How drunk are you?

Mm... 'bout as drunk
as I always am

this time Saturday night.

Uh-oh, look out.

Look out!

I got you caught like
a bear up a tree, Joth.

Put that rifle
down, Hakes.

Doggone. And I ain't
even got my weapon.

Go on, I said
put it down.

Now you're standing
in the way, Marshal.

Yeah.

And I'm going to stay here.

Well, then I'm just a-gonna
have to shoot you first.

You touch that hammer,
I'm gonna kill you.

Wait, wait, wait a minute.
I just thought of something.

I surely wish all you folks
would stop meddling in this.

It's after midnight, Hakes.

I said that it's
after midnight.

What difference it make?

Well, it... it's Sunday.

Don't you understand?

Sunday?

Yeah, don't you remember?

Well, of all
the goll-blame luck.

Oh, stop looking

so troubled, Joth.

I won't shoot no man
on a Sunday.

Even a Monger.

You ought to
know that.

Why, sure.

That's right.

Just guess
I wasn't thinking.

A doggone shame it took me
so long to find you today.

Well, you travel
a long way to get here, Eben.

I got plumb tired out waiting
for you to come back home, Joth.

I was coming.

I was gonna take the time
and come this summer.

I know.

Your old lady
told me about it today.

I see'd 'er out there
at the house

scratchin' around.

Sure is a sorry place
you got there, Joth.

Well, a fella can make
a small crop sometime, Eben.

It's hard fight
with a short stick.

Didn't see no hogs.

Where's your
hogs at, Joth?

Well, I'm gonna get some
right soon.

Oh.

You know,
speaking of hogs...

you remember the day you
killed one of mine back home?

The day you was hiding
out in the ridge?

Missed me, killed the hog.

Oh, I never will live
that'n down.

It got dark that day,
waiting for you.

I couldn't see good enough
to tell you from the hog.

Mm.

Say, Eben,

how is things back home?

Oh, there's been a lot of
changes since you left, Joth.

Some good, some bad.

Say, you know something?

I got me a little bottle
of corn liquor out back.

It's most empty now, but maybe
we can get another one

and set out there fer a spell,
and kinda get soured on the cob.

Hmm? What say, Eben?

Might as well.

Can't do no shootin'
till Monday comes.

Where you getting
this here bottle?

Feller there sells it.

I'll show you.

I'm a-gonna have
to ask you

to give me the loan
of some money, Joth.

I didn't bring none
with me this here trip.

Why, sure.

Sure, I will.

Well... if that
don't beat all.

Kinda looks like the
feud's off, don't it?

No. Midnight tomorrow,
they'll be stalking

each other
all over again.

Well, you gonna let 'em?

No, I'm gonna have to
throw 'em in jail tomorrow.

It's the only way I know of to
keep 'em from killing each other.

You can't keep 'em in jail
forever, though, can you?

You sure can't.

Kinda like trying to
stop it from raining, huh?

Mm, yeah.

What makes you think they's
still out back of the Long Branch?

Well, I saw 'em on the
way back from breakfast.

And they was still setting
there a-drinkin'?

No, they were
passed out or asleep.

I don't know, but anyway,
I figure we can wake 'em up

and walk 'em back
to jail.

I'm sure not gonna
carry 'em.

No.

Where in the world
they get to?

Well, I don't know.

I should have tied
'em up, I guess.

Looky here at these
bottles, would you?

They sure know how
to chamber their liquor.

Look at this.
Huh?

Blood.

Somebody got hurt
pretty bad here.

Well, you know
I bet it was Hakes.

Joth Monger
had a knife, remember?

Yeah.

I guess that
Sunday business

didn't mean much to
them after all.

Well, if he killed
him, though,

the body ought to be
around here somewheres.

Not necessarily, Chester.

What do you mean?

Well, I can't imagine
somebody killing a man

and then leaving the
body around

for everybody to find it.

Well, no, but Joth Monger don't
do things like an ordinary man.

Yeah. Sure doesn't.

Look, check the
alley, will ya?

I'm going inside
and look around,

and see if anybody
knows anything.

Yeah.

Oh, hello, Matt.

Hello, Doc.

What's on your mind?

You, uh, been operating
on somebody?

Oh, no. No.

Well, uh, sewing somebody
up maybe?

Nope. Haven't even
been sewing anybody-

What are you
talking about?

Well, it's this
Eben Hakes, Doc.

I'm afraid Joth Monger's
gone and knifed him.

Well, my golly, Matt,
if he'd have come to me,

I would have told you
first off, you know that.

Well, I know
you would, Doc.

It's, well, it's just that
you were my last hope.

Chester and I have been looking
all over town all morning.

We haven't found
a thing.

Oh, gosh, maybe Joth
buried him

or threw him in the
river or something.

Yeah, well, that's happened
before around here.

Well, I sure wish
I could help you.

Yeah, well, thanks, Doc.

Guess the only thing left for me
to do now is ride out there

and see if he's gone home.

Well, now, if he's killed
somebody and gone home,

you better walk mighty easy
when you get out there.

I'll remember that, Doc.
Thanks.

Seems quiet enough,
don't it?

Well, Mrs. Monger wouldn't
be working around on Sunday.

Maybe they seen
us coming.

Could be. Come on.

Hello, Mrs. Monger.

You go away, Marshal.

Just wait a minute now.

If'n you don't want
to get shot,

you'll do what I say.

She wasn't none too
friendly, was she?

No.

You see anything?

Uh-uh.

Let's try this one.

On, no, Mr. Dillon, don't
go looking in them windows.

If he's there, he'll
blow your head off.

He's already
killed one man.

Well, I'll be doggone.

What is it?

Will you look
in there?

But I don't understand
none of this at all.

Neither do I.

Did you see the
bandage on Joth's hand?

He's the one
that got cut.

Yeah.
Huh.

Well, I don't guess you got
much of a case, do you?

Everybody being alive
and well and all.

Except for one thing.

It's still Sunday and I'm
still gonna arrest those two.

Now look, Marshal,
I done told you once...

Joth!

Now hold it right there.

Chester, get those rifles.

Yeah. I'll take them.

He busted in, Joth.

He busted right past
the woman.

I never hear'd of any man
coming into another man's place

that-a-way.

Well, if had any
upbringing, he wouldn't.

Is this the kind of people
they got in Kansas, Joth?

Never mind about that.

Now suppose you tell me
what's going on here.

We're eating our meal,
that's what.

Now, Joth, how come
your wife told me

I was gonna get shot?

Well, you said you
gonna put 'em in jail, Marshal.

How'd you know that?

Well, you told Eben
you was gonna.

Yeah, I said if
he killed anybody.

Well, I ain't killed
nobody.

Why, just 'cause
it's Sunday?

Oh, that.

What happened
to you, Joth?

Oh, I was showing a few tricks
with my knife,

but I got a bit liquored up
and grabbed it wrong.

Bled a lot, too.

Now, look, you fellas
finish your dinner,

then I'm gonna take you back
into Dodge.

I'm gonna throw
both of you in jail.

Now wait a minute,
Marshal.

You can't do that.

It for their own
protection, Mrs. Monger.

Tell him, Joth.

Feud's off, Marshal.

What?!

Tell him. Go on, tell him.

We stopped it
last night.

Now what are you telling me?

It's true.

We got to talking...

...about old times
and everything.

And you know what
we found out?

No, what'd you find out?

You tell him, Eben.

Well, Marshal...

this here feud got started
a long time ago.

What happened was, my grandpa
stole Joth's grandpa's gal

and married up with her.

So, Joth's grandpa just
naturally up and started a feud,

right then and there.

But you ain't told him
what we found out, Eben.

Oh.

Well, we hadn't
thought it out ever before,

but last night,
we got to figurin' that

if'n my grandpa hadn't done
that, well, then Joth here

woulda been me.

Well, don't you see?

Otherwise, my grandma
woulda married up

with Joth's grandpa.

And I'd have been Joth.

So any side you look at it from,
we're kinda kinfolk-like.

Well, you mean, any side
you look at it from last night.

I mean, I seen
them bottles out there

behind the Long Branch.

Oh, it was them bottles

that finally helped us
figure it out, Chester.

Hm.

Well, I, uh, I guess

it doesn't make
much difference how it happened

as long as the feud's off.

It ain't only off,

Eben's gonna stay on
here with us.

Him and me's gonna work
this place together.

Well, I'll be doggone.

And what's more I'm gonna give
him a share of it come Christmas.

Come Christmas?

T'ain't far off.

T'ain't far off?

Well, Christmas has done
passed, Christmas has.

No. January six.

Well, now since when did
Christmas get

to be January sixth?

You folks
don't understand.

You see, back in the Ozarks,

we do our Christmas celebratin'
12 days from when you do.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's that,
what do you call it,

uh, 12th Night?

Uh-huh.

We call it Christmas.

Yeah, and if you only knew-
works real good for us, too.

Well, there's no reason
why it shouldn't, ma'am.

I hear it's a fine old custom.

Well, 12th Night's the only
night we allow any drinking

around here, ain't it, Joth?

Uh-huh.

Say, maybe you
and Chester'd

come out and
celebrate with us?

Well, if'n they got a taste

for kraut and sour pickles and
cornbread and coffee, they'll come.

Ain't there gonna be
no chitlins, woman?

Well, if'n
you hadn't asked,

I was keeping 'em
for a surprise.

What say, Marshal?

Well, uh, sure, sure.

How about you, Chester?

Oh, I'll be here,
don't you worry; thank ya.

All right, folks, well,
we'll see you then.

Right, Marshal.

Bye now.
Bye.

Oh, Sadie.

You know, Mr. Dillon,
I just thinking...

What's that?

Thanks to these
good people here,

we gonna get us
two Christmases this year.