Gunsmoke (1955–1975): Season 15, Episode 14 - The Sisters - full transcript

When three nuns come into Dodge looking for the father of two small children, they are surprised when the father turns out to be an ornery self-centered old mountain man.

Gunsmoke, starring
James Arness as Matt Dillon.

Where's the bottle?

I'm sorry, Mrs. Landers.
The bottle's empty.

It's the only thing
that keeps me warm.

- That the last bottle?
- That is the last, yes.

I'll die then. I'll
die without it.

Mrs. Landers...

Can't you see the hand
of death a-reachin' for me?

- Can't you see it, big sister?
- Mrs. Landers...

- Don't you see the hand of death?
- Would you say a prayer with me?

Did I tell you about my
husband, Pack Landers?

He's waiting for us in
Dodge City. You'll see.

He built us a
farmhouse. He told me.

I got a letter right here.

Mrs. Landers, you
showed me that letter.

The prayer begins,

"Oh, my God, I
am heartily sorry..."

Mommy, I'm cold.

I know, my baby.

The cold hand of God Almighty,

a-reachin' out for Ivy Landers.


Oh, my God, I
am heartily sorry...

Oh, my God, I
am heartily sorry...

- for having offended Thee.
- For...

having offended Thee.

I detest all my sins.

I... detest all my sins.

Because I dread
the loss of heaven.

Because I dread
the loss of heaven.

What in the
tarnation we got here?

That there wasn't
no people train.

Good morning, sir.

Good morning,
ma'am, miss, ladies.

I am called Mother Tabitha.
And this is Sister Blanche.

- Sister Blanche.
- And this is Sister Charles.

Sis... Charles?

We're looking for a Mr. Landers.

We understand he has
a farm near Dodge City.

Wait, you don't
mean Pack Landers?

- He's my father.
- Mine too.

You mean these good-lookin'
young 'uns is his'n?

Yes. The Landers' children.

Mama's down there,
waiting for God.

She's dead in heaven. Are
you a friend of our father's?


Well, not exactly.
Uh, I've knowed him.

But to tell you the pure old bee
truth, I haven't saw him in quite a spell.

Could you give us
directions to the farm?

Oh, yes'm. What you do now,

you just head right due west
till you hit Little Haggard Wash.

Then you head right due
north right up to the shack.

It's the onliest one out
there, if it is still there.

Thank you, sir. I'm
sure we'll find our way.

Ma'am, you ain't fixin' to walk
clean out yonder, are you?

Why, that's pretty
near six or seven miles.

Oh, that's nothing.

Sister Blanche once walked all
the way from Biloxi to Kansas City

to join our order.
We love walking.

Well, ma'am, maybe
you don't know this,

old Hank here, he rents wagons.

We have no funds for
that sort of thing. We'll walk.

Now... now, wait
a minute, ladies.

I keep a-tryin' to tell you that that
old shack's been plumb deserted for...

But Mrs. Landers said her
husband was expecting her.

She asked to be
buried on the farm.

I'll tell you, you ladies
just wait right here.

I'll hitch us up a buckboard

and we'll drive out to that place
you keep wanting to call a farm.


Well, that there's the
Landers' place, ma'am.

Honest truth, that's it.

Oh, I've... I've seen worse.

- Maybe.
- Gidup.


Ain't even got a front door on.

- Where's our father?
- He cannot be very far, Gail.

Ma'am, just look around here.

If old Pack Landers is just half as
far gone as this here place of his'n,

why, I wouldn't look
for him no place south

of Upper Wolf's Ear,
Sasakatchatchi. I wouldn't.

I sure hope they don't have a
lot of long snakes around here.

- Sister Blanche?
- Yes?

I'm fixin' to give you
a Haggen guarantee

that this here is
rattlesnake headquarters

of the First
Congressional District.

And you just can't stay
here. Just can't do it.

There's been somebody holed up
here not more than a week gone, I'd say.

- Our father?
- Well, it's hard to tell, honey.

With this here door off,
could've been anybody.

Lots of spiders.

Oh, Mother, can
we really stay here?

Of course, Sister. How else
can the father find his children?

And don't forget,
there's the burial.

Oh, with a little soap and water, we
can really make this place look nice.

There's gotta be some soap.

Sister, there ain't
even gotta be no water.

- Huh?
- Of course, we get ourselves

a flash flood, then
we'll be knee-deep in it.

Why, you can see the
high water mark right there.

Nevertheless, we will have
to wait here for Mr. Landers.

Ma'am, you ain't even
got no supper vittles.

I'm hungry.

- Well, there's still some dried meat.
- I'm hungrier than that.

Perhaps, Mr. Haggen,
you could shoot us a turkey,

or something similar
before you depart?

- A turkey?
- Oh, praise the Lord.

There's nothing I cook
better than a turkey.

- I want a drumstick.
- Drumstick?

Wait just a blamed minute here
now. This here ain't turkey country.

Few prairie chickens
and a few jackrabbits.

You're lucky to get either
one of them with a pistol.

Oh! Why, I can make a rabbit stew
such as you've never seen east of Eden.

- Well...
- And if you could scour me up

- some black-eyed peas...
- Black-eyed peas?

- I'd really appreciate it.
- Where am I gonna...

Well, what are you standing there
for? Now, you just go on! Go on!

The pot is waiting on
the stove! Now, go on.

- Can I go hunting with you?
- Well, I reckon you can,

if you ain't a-scared of
the wild turkeys stampedin'

and tramplin' us to death.

Drumsticks, black-eyed peas.

I never have saw such a case of
runaway wishin' in all my born days.

Come on.

Not too much now, Sister.
I'm done about to bust.

Ma'am, about this
here order of your'n.

The Oblate Sisters
of Providence.

And you all just... just go around
a-startin' these here schools, do you?

Oh, in this case, yes.

We're going to Cimarron
to start a school there.

And is this here just gonna be a
regular school for readin' and writin'?

- And arithmetic.
- And music and Latin and French.

And history and
geography and religion.

And sewing and knitting
and apple pandowdy.

- You can't teach apple pandowdy.
- No?

Oh, but child, that's about the
best thing Sister Blanche teaches.

'Cepting maybe corn
fritters and pan-fried chicken.

Sister Blanche has a
special grace for cooking.

Sister also has a box of
spices and home-ground roots

that can kill the taste
of just about anything.

- Ah...
- Mighty good.


- Amen.
- Amen.

Well, I reckon I'd
oughta be gettin' on back.

Ma'am, you sure you don't want
me to stay here with you now, just...

just in case you'se get
scared being by yourselves?

Thank you, Mr. Haggen,
but we're not alone.

- Oh? You ain't?
- God is always with us.

Oh, yes'm. I kinda forgot that.

- Well, goodnight, ma'am.
- Good night, Mr. Haggen.

- Good night, Sisters. Young 'uns.
- Good night, Mr. Haggen.

- Good night, Mr. Haggen.
- And God bless you.

Thank you, ma'am. I'll be
back tomorrow for the buryin'.

Ma'am, I know I'm kinda
holdin' things up here,

but I just wanted to tell
you what a eye-peelin',

upliftin', all-around day
this here'n's been for me.

I mean, just
a-watchin' you ladies

puttin' the good Lord
to work like you done.

Why, it's just like he's sittin'
right up there on the ridge-pole

a-waitin' to be told
what ought to be did.

First thing, there
wasn't no soap.

Then all of a sudden,
you got two cakes of soap.

Then you all said, "Hold on
now, Lord, where's that water at?"

Sure enough, he just led you smack
dab to that water hole by your noses.

Then I... me... I went
out yonder this mornin'

and shot them two
jackrabbits on a dead run

at a good 30 yards
with my pistol.

That there's something that I
ain't a-fixin' to admit to at all myself.

I'll tell you, I just
ain't never saw folks

go with God Almighty
like you had him on wages.

I'll tell you this, hard as you
worked Him, He must've liked it,

'cause for the first time
in all my sinnin' days,

I felt Him a-lookin'
at me all day.

Well, good night.

- Good night, Mr. Haggen.
- Good night.

Bless, Lord God
Almighty, this house,

and defend all
who shall sleep in it,

all within its walls.

Such a blessing that the princes
of darkness will tremble and depart.

What are you three black
crows doing in my cabin?!

Three black crows.

And a bed full of
white young 'uns.

And the crows kneelin' around in
their black shrouds prayin' to God.

That's what we got
here. No question.

What else we got here
is three negra wenches

makin' theirselves
to home in my cabin.

Movin' things around,
scrubbin' where all they saw fit.

And general turnin' the inside of
a man's diggins into a soap box!

Stinkin' of females and lye!

And just when I got things
arranged the way I wanted!

Worstest thing
we've got here by far

is three uppity wenches that just
go right on a-mumblin' their jumbo

and castin' their witch's spell
and prayin' to their black devil

just like as if a white man
hadn't come through that door

two, not three minutes ago,
and asked a civil question!

You savvy that kind
of talk, don't you?

Well, now, you talk 'fore I
snatch the tongue outta your head.

I am Mother Tabitha.

I don't care who you are.

It's what you are
that bothers me.

We are nuns. Sisters
of... What's nuns?

- We are of a religious order.
- Hm.

Black magic, more likely.

- We teach school, care for orphans.
- Kidnappers!

I knowed it the minute
I clamped eyes on you!

Where'd you snatch the
young 'uns from? Huh?

Where'd you get 'em? You
talk 'fore I blow your nose off.

Huh. You three black
crows won't have no nose.

You hear that?

You hear that?

Three black crows
ain't got a nose.

Pack Landers is a poet.

If he's Mr. Landers, how come
he doesn't know his own children?

Mother Tabitha, I purely
think he's no fit father.

We'll have to wait until he's
sober before we speak with him.

Don't you think we should
tell him about Mrs. Landers?

Nothing must be said to upset
him in his present condition.

Be very careful what you say.

You ain't mumblin' no more,
you're whisperin'. Come here.

- We're sorry for the intrusion.
- Shut up.

You ain't nothin' but squatters.

I was wonderin', sir, if
you had your supper yet?

We have some
jackrabbit stew here.

- Know your place, girl?
- Yes, sir.

What's your place?

On the right-hand
side of the Father.

- What father?
- Our Father in heaven, sir.

You married, girl? Hm?

Where's your buck?

He is also on the
right-hand side of the Father.

You saying he's dead?

He was, sir, but He rose
again on the third day.

- She loose in the head?
- No.

- But what she means is...
- What's your buck's name?

His name?

His name is Jesus Christ...


Brides of Christ.

All three of 'em.

Now, if that don't
beat the socks off a...

Mr. Landers, if you
would only listen.

You see, before we
leave in the morning...

You ain't gonna
leave. Not a chance.

No, I ain't figured
it all out yet,

but the three of you are
gonna do me some good.

You're gonna pay me back for wreckin'
my place and gunnin' my jackrabbits

and I don't know what all.

What can you do?


- Play a trap drum?
- I play the harmonica.

Well, now, you see,
we can start with that.

We'll get a crowd that way.

We gotta get you
out of them shrouds.

Where'd you get them
things? In a graveyard?

They are called habits.


We'll paint us a big sign,
Sisters of the Bad Habits.

And we'll play
one of them tunes.

Then we'll pass the hat.

And you'll all walk around
there carryin' crosses.

Then we'll put up a tent.

Reverend Pack Landers

is savin' Kansas for the Lord!

Then the money will
come rollin' in and...

Now, you two know where little
ones belong at this hour of the night.

- Who's that man out there?
- We'll talk about it tomorrow.

- For now, little ones need their sleep.
- Is he gonna shoot the gun?

Why, no, dear. Of course not.

- He ain't our father, is he?
- Such questions.

Now, don't you two worry
your little heads about anything.

Just close your eyes and say
good night to your guardian angel.

- Do you know what I bet?
- No, what?

- He's our father.
- But he don't even look like us.

Yeah, he sure don't.

This is the grave of Ivy
Landers. It is a lonely place.

A place of stones, but
where she wished to lie.

So, God, because there will
be so long a loneliness for her

before the resurrection,

guard this grave well
and keep it from wolves

and the river and those
who would scatter her bones.

I thought I dreamed it.

I dreamed every bit of it.

T'weren't no dream.

You black crows usin'
my place to bury people.

Well, they better
have some rent money.

All right. Go on, get
to work. Here, Jim.

Fill it in, we
ain't got all day.

Just shovel with this.

I know Mr. Landers
had every right

to know that his wife was being
buried this morning, Marshal,

and that those
children belong to him.

But we were so afraid he'd start roaring
again if we woke him and frighten them.

Well, you did the
right thing, ma'am.

Pack Landers is
unpredictable when he's drunk.

Ivy buried.

And my kids.

Well, if you'd like me to, ma'am,
I'll break the news to Pack.

I want to talk to him
about his children anyway.

I'm as concerned
about them as you are.

And as I am, Marshal.

But the way I... I
been acting lately,

I ain't sure I want them young
'uns to even know I'm their daddy.

Sorry as I am, as
God is my judge.

Why, of course, you want them to
know. And I never wished otherwise.

Oh, I ain't blamin' you,
Mother. No, ma'am.

Fact is I'm... I'm
thankin' you humbly.

What I ought to do is get right in
there and... and pack my possibles

and light out of here
without a hello or goodbye.

Better them young 'uns
never knew what a shiftless,

no account polecat
their daddy really is.

Best I don't even look at 'em for
fear I'll weaken in my nobility and...

and just rush right
over there and hug 'em!


Ma'am, you see I...

About the children there, I'm
gonna have a talk with Pack

and see if we can't make them a ward
of the county where they'll be placed.

Placed? Oh, no.

I... Well, I'd appreciate it

if you permitted
me to handle this.

There was a promise
made concerning them, but...

Well, sometimes the
responsibility of children

makes a man
take hold of himself.

Well, yes, ma'am, but
don't you all have your...

- your own business to attend to?
- That's exactly the point.

Going on to Cimarron to
open our school is our business.

But our business is
also with those children.

Both falling under the
heading of church work.

Well, I just don't know if... if
Pack can change his spots.

Well, of course he ain't
gonna change no spots.

A polecat looks the same and
smells the same as long as he lives.

Mr. Haggen, I'm as well aware as
anyone of Mr. Landers' shortcomings.

But we have here a
very simple question:

Is it possible to reunite
a father with his children?

Yes, ma'am.

Well, I'll... I'll just
leave it in your hands.

But if you have any trouble out
here, or if you even expect any trouble,

- you be sure and let me know.
- Thank you, Marshal.

Matthew, that Pack Landers, he's
a fella you gotta walk upwind of,

even if there ain't
no breeze a-blowin'.

Well, those Sisters seem to think
they can work some kind of miracle.

We'll just have to wait and see.

You think I'm a-fixin' to
do the right thing, Mother?

That depends entirely
on what you're fixing to do.

Well, like I said, it's wrong for
me to shame them young 'uns.

I'm fixin' to leave. You
think that'd be right?

I think that would be throwing
out the babies with the bath water,

Mr. Landers.

- What bath water?
- It's just a saying.

Uh, but I think some, um,

freshening of your person
would help matters, yes.

You mean take a
bath in real water?

And get clean
clothing and new boots.

Bless you, Mother.

I knew you'd put
my feet on the...

New boots cost money.

But surely, for the sake
of your children's pride,

you can afford a
new pair of boots.

Mother, if I had the money,

you wouldn't believe how
I'd dress myself up for 'em.

Figure it'd take about $30.

Are you asking me for $30?

I'd buy the young 'uns
some playin' toys too.

But we have no
money, Mr. Landers.

None at all?

- None that is ours to spend.
- Oh, I see what you mean.

You got a kind of a
rule against spending.

What money we have is
given to us in sacred trust.

I'd do the spendin',
and I'd be sacred doin' it.

Mr. Landers, we are not
permitted to spend such money

except for the precise purpose
for which it was entrusted to us.

In this case, a school.

Could get by on $20.

I... I'll have to speak with
the other sisters about it.

I gotta have the $20, though,

so I can clean myself of the mark
of my shame for them young 'uns.

Let us hope it washes off
as easily as you trade upon it.

Be a shame, Mother, if it don't.

No, that... that
wouldn't be right.

That'd just be meddlin'
in other folks' affairs.

Doc, I ain't sayin' I'm goin' out yonder
and tell them how to do their business.

- What I'm sayin'...
- I know what you're sayin'.

Now, you listen to what I'm sayin'.
Those ladies are perfectly capable of...

♪ So joyous
bringin' in the sheep

Now that, ladies and gents,
is one to lift a man's spirits.

No. No, no whiskey, Miss Russell.
Pack Landers is a reformed man.

Uh, little something to wet my
whistle. Maybe a smidgen of beer.

- Beer?
- Beer. Beer's what I said,

and beer's what I mean.

Nothing stronger for a
man with responsibilities

and a man that's takin'
them responsibilities serious.

- Responsibilities?
- My kids.

Oh! Oh, you mean this is all...
all in honor of your children.

My little lovin' darlins.

Hey, and you oughta see these
here city toys I got 'em here.

The whistles there.
And this'n here.

You tell me if that ain't something
to set a kid's eyes goggle-eyed.

Ain't that somethin'?

You ain't never seen old Pack
Landers duded up before, have you?

Kind of takes your breath away?

In a manner of
speaking, Mr. Landers.

Somebody help you
pick out them fancy duds?

- What do you mean by that, numb-nog?
- Oh, never mind. Never mind.

He didn't mean
anything, Mr. Landers.

I'm sure that you'll find that your
children are gonna be overwhelmed.

Knowed it the minute
I seen myself in 'em.

Kids got a right to see
their daddy lookin' nice.

- Ain't that right, Doc?
- Oh, no doubt about it.

Well, I gotta be gettin' back
to them little darlins of mine.

I can't wait to see their faces

when they get a look at
these here city toys I brung 'em.

Well, the good Lord is watchin'
over you. I'll see you folks.

♪ Bringin' in the sheep
Bringin' in the sheep

Smells like he's taken
a bath in lilac water.

The thing that's worrisome to me

is where a bum like him got the
money to buy them fancy duds with.

Same thought occurred to me.

And I don't trust
that knucklehead

no further than I
could throw my mule.


♪ Bringin' in the sheep
Bringin' in the sheep

♪ We was all so joyous

♪ Bringin' in the sheep

♪ Bringin' in the sheep

Leave go of my little darlins.

Let 'em come over here and
play with the surprise I brung 'em.

Ain't that somethin'?

What name you young 'uns go by?

You mean you don't
even know our names?

You can't expect me to remember
everything. I been a busy man.

- I'm Gail.
- I'm Toby.

You broke it, you
ninny head! I ought to...

Mr. Landers!

Playin' daddy to my
darlins takes a bit of usin' to.

Brung something else. Whistles.

You never seen a whistle?

You blow into 'em like this.

That's how you blow a whistle.
Now, you young 'uns can try it.

It's a whistle!
A nickel whistle!

You blow in it, you numb-nog!

How come you don't teach 'em nothin'
about blowin' whistles? Look at 'em.

Neither one of 'em
can blow a whistle!

Mr. Landers, I think the
children have had a long day.

It's time for bed.
Go with Sister.

Get over here, you little
darlins, for your good night kissin'.

Mr. Landers, we must
take things more slowly.

Yeah, I guess.

Mother, I been thinkin'
on the road out there

about where I'd be raisin'
them young 'uns of mine.

Maybe that place you're goin'.

- Cimarron?
- Yeah.

Uh, I been thinkin'
a lot about it.

And, um, I'm a master
carpenter. I built this place myself.

And I could build that
school for you right enough.

And that way I could bring
the young 'uns along with me.

Coming with us to Cimarron?

Knew you'd like the idea.

'Course it's gotta be agreed in advance
that I'm in charge, have a free hand.

- Mr. Landers, I don't think...
- Charge of money and such.

Master carpenter in charge.

And that way you three black...

ladies wouldn't have to worry
none about gettin' nothin' stole.

Mr. Landers, that is impossible.

The money for the school
is not to leave my hands

until it reaches the
contractor in Cimarron.


Oh... well...


I'll be around anyway to see
that you don't get cheated none.

I sure won't have no
trouble sleepin' tonight.

Mr. Landers!

What you go and scare
a body like that for?

I was just gonna watch it for you.
You don't think I was fixin' to steal it?

That would be very
foolish, wouldn't it?

Marshal Dillon would
apprehend the thief within hours.


'Course he would.

Man'd be a fool.

Especial if he was
in the way of earnin'

a piece of that money
as a bona fide employee.

What I mean is, as
master carpenter in charge,

wages ought to be...

$30 a month,
that's a dollar a day.

You'd pay a Chinese
track walker a dollar a day.

What I was wonderin' is
how them rules of yours

read about givin' a employee

- an advance on his wages.
- An advance?

Yes, two, three, four months...

Say 150... $500.

$500 now, so a man wouldn't
have to think of stealin'.

Mr. Landers, that money
does not belong to you.


But them young
'uns do, don't they?

And you want those young 'uns
to go along with you, don't you?

Are you offering
your children for sale?

You cut it any way you like.

God help you, Mr. Landers.

You are not a fit father
for those children.

Why you...

You ain't no mother, neither!

I ain't gonna steal the money.

I ain't gonna have to.

And I'm gonna be
real decent about it.

I'm gonna give
you till first light.

And then out you go, all three of
you, and the young 'uns stay with me.

Unless of course you decide
by then to advance me that 500.

I'll be just outside.

Good night, ladies.

- He tried to steal the money.
- We heard.

What are we gonna do?

♪ Bringin' in the sheep
Bringin' in the sheep

- Perhaps we should bury the money.
- No.

We must notify the marshal.

Sister Blanche, you go into
Dodge and try and find him.

- What should I tell him?
- No sleepin' in there!

You crows be talkin'
about my money!

Tell the marshal that
if he doesn't get here,

I'm afraid Mr. Landers may
be provoked into violence.


Go through the back window, and
be careful not to wake the children.

Sister Charles, help
me barricade the door.

- When'd this happen?
- This afternoon.

Walked in here as big as life.

He went in to Mr. Jonas's store
and bought all them clothes,

but the confusin' thing was that he
paid for 'em with a $20 gold piece.

And he said it was for advanced
wages from them sisters.

- Wages for what?
- Well, for bein' a master carpenter.

But I wanna tell you
something, Matthew.

Any fella that built that
there contraption out yonder

couldn't find his thumbnails if he had
both hands stuck in the same pocket.

I agree with you on that.

I think I'd better go
and have a talk with him.



Marshal, I'm afraid we need
your help with Mr. Landers.

- Why, what's happening?
- Well, he's... he's very drunk

and he's trying to steal
the money we have.

And Mother Tabitha expects
that he... he will become violent.

- Festus.
- Look out...

You try to do the
right thing, Ivy.

Nobody lets you.

I mean, I had the light.
My feet on the good road.

And then they come
up with their suspicions,

and like a thunderbolt
outta heaven

I was back in the dark
of my evil ways again.

I almost repented.

I want my kids, black
mother, or that money!

I think Mr. Landers has
taken leave of his senses.

I'm now afraid Mr. Landers
had no senses to begin with.

You crows are
running out of time!

Sister Charles, wake
and dress the children.

We promised to unite a
family. We have done that.

Now, we must separate them.

But, Mother, are we
permitted to do such a thing?

Dress the children.

I said you crows
are runnin' outta time!

Now, what'd you go
and do that for, Ivy?

- Quickly.
- But where are we going?

To Dodge City. From there,
we'll talk about it tomorrow.

Mother, why can't
you come with us?

I want my money!
I ain't waitin'!

I'll have to keep talking to
him while you leave. Go quickly.

Kids or money!

Kids or money!

Mr. Landers, you're
making it impossible to sleep.

Well, I ain't sleeping neither.

Now, listen, talk business!

You are proposing
that we pay you $500

in exchange for you allowing the
children to accompany us to Cimarron.

I don't like children to be
treated as if they were for sale.

Well, there's a lot of
things I don't like neither!

And you're one of 'em!

You're one of 'em!

Get out here and
talk about my money!

It's my house. It's my door.
You hear me? My house!

You open it up or I'm
gonna break it down!

It's my door! It's my house!


It's my house! My
door! You hear me?

Open the door!

Let's talk about money!

I'll break it down, and beat
you over the head with it!

Don't you dare threaten
me! I am a servant of God!

Kneel down and ask
for your forgiveness.

Eh... I'll kneel down on that...

We're gonna talk about
my money, aren't we!

We're gonna talk about money!

We're dying! We're dying, Lord!

I didn't mean those
things I said, Lord!

Them three black crows
did it all, it's their fault!

Look at me, I'm a
prayin' man, Lord!

Look at me, Lord!

I'm a praying man, Lord!

Get on your feet!

Help me! Quick!

Where are the children?

They're safe with
Sister Charles, Marshal.

Are you all right, ma'am?

It was a little warm
in there, Mr. Haggen,

but thank God and whoever
built such a sturdy fireplace.


Troublemakers is what you
are. Mindin' my own business.

You scrubbed my place so a man can't
even sleep. You burned my place down.

Matthew, that loudmouth
knothead, he ain't agreein' to nothin'.

If he doesn't turn those kids
of his over to the Sisters legally,

there's not much
I can do either.

They'll just have to
become wards of the county.

But why can't we
go with you, Sister?

We don't wanna
stay with our father.

He doesn't smell
nice all the time.

Oh, honey, if it were up to us, we'd
scoop you right up into the stage.

And take you a
million miles away.

Well, as you heard, Marshal,
there's no convincing Mr. Landers.

Just a minute, ma'am.

- Festus, bring him out here.
- You betcha.

Sit down there.

Darn tootin', you're
gonna let me out.

You ain't heard the last out of
me! I'm gettin' me a lawyer fella

- and a judge and one of them...
- Never mind!

And I'm gonna sit 'em down,
and figure out the damages!

- Just sit down right there, Pack.
- What I've got to say about this is...

You've already had your say.
Now, I'm gonna have mine.

This is a legal paper saying that
you're gonna turn your kids over

to these Sisters for their
education in Cimarron.

- I ain't signin' nothin'.
- And this is a legal document

where I'm charging Pack
Landers with one, arson,

two, attempted mayhem,
three, attempted thievery,

four, disorderly conduct,
five, trapping out of season,

six... maybe that's enough, huh?

It's enough to get
you about 30 years.

Now, one of us is gonna
sign one of these documents.

Which is it gonna be?
It's only gonna take me

about two seconds
to make up my mind.

That's more like it.

God bless you, Marshal.

And a special blessing
to you, Mr. Landers.

They say God works
in mysterious ways.

And I do believe that one day
you'll be seated with the angels.


Black magic. Her and
them other two crows.

I was blackmailed.

And you were almost made
a member of the human race.

- You mean it, Mother?
- Indeed, I do. Into the stage.

Here you go, bug.

We have a special
prayer for you, Mr. Haggen.

Oh, you hadn't oughta trouble
yourself that way, ma'am.

It's quite all right.

Bless you, Mr. Haggen,
for all you've done.

Oh, foot, it wasn't
nothin', ma'am.

- God bless and keep you.
- Much obliged.

Luck to you.


You can't even blow a
whistle, you numb-nogs!

- Pack, for the last time...
- Numb-nogs!

- For the last time, get out of here!
- Numb-nogs!


Now, make up your mind, back to
jail or out to those rocks of yours.

Just saying goodbye
to my little daughter.

Stay tuned for scenes
from next week's Gunsmoke.

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