Gunsmoke (1955–1975): Season 13, Episode 15 - Baker's Dozen - full transcript

Gunsmoke, starring
James Arness as Matt Dillon.

And I heard tell that that there was
the coldest winter that they've ever had.

Don't tell me what the coldest
winter in Dodge City was.

I been here longer
than you have,

and the coldest winter in
Dodge City was the winter of '63.

How cold did it get?

Well, it was the
winter of the blue snow.

- Blue snow?
- You betcha.

I ain't ever heard of it
snowing no blue snow.

- I didn't say it snowed blue.
- Well, you did too.

I didn't neither. When it gets
that cold, it's too cold to snow.



The snow was already there,

and it just laid there all over
the ground, then turned blue.

Well, I've never heard of such
a silly thing as that. Blue snow.

Well, no, when you get cold,
your lips turn blue, don't they?

Well, of course they do, but cold people
and cold snow's two different things.

No...

Now, I've heard of it raining
toadyfrogs, but I ain't never heard...

Toadyfrogs?

Yeah, I've heard of it
actual raining toadyfrogs.

- Well, which one was it?
- Which was what?

Well, which did it
rain, toadies or frogs?

Well, you see, Doc, back
home we used to have

these here little old things like
that and we called 'em toadyfrogs.

- Don't you see?
- No, I don't see at all.



A toad's a toad
and a frog's a frog.

What I'm trying
to tell you, Doc...

Go get the marshal!

Let me help you down, Monk.

Come here, Monk.

What in thunder
happened to you, Monk?

Got held up, Doc.
Got me in the shoulder.

- Well, here, let me see.
- Don't mind me. There's a woman inside.

- A woman?
- She needs you a sight more than I do.

- Go get Ma Smalley, Festus.
- Yeah.

Get out of there.

Let me through here, folks. Let
me through. What's going on?

Somebody robbed
the stage, Marshal.

- Monk?
- Just a crease.

Were you carrying anything?

Money shipment for Mr. Bodkins
over at the bank. They got it.

- Where did this happen?
- Near the Willow Creek relay station.

- How many were there?
- I thought there was one.

I got off a shot and
I got hit from behind.

- From behind?
- Yeah.

A passenger got off
the stage and shot me.

Burke, get my horse, will you?

It's a baby.

Here's your horse, Marshal.

- Kitty. Here, Kitty.
- Doc.

Take this little
fellow up to my office

and put him on something
he won't roll off, will you?

Here.

- Now...
- Doc?

Well, this is the... this is the tiniest
little baby I've ever seen in my life.

Yeah, that tiny little baby may
turn out to be an awful big problem.

He don't look too awful bad,

I mean, for a brand-new
one, does he, Newly?

I'm afraid I couldn't tell you
too much about that, Festus.

A cute little old scudder.

Golly Bill, I've saw Haggen babies
that'd make three or four of this here.

That there's another
baby squalling.

Sure sounds like it, don't it?

Golly Bill.

Did you ever hear of twins being
born before in Dodge, Festus?

Not since I been here
in town, there ain't.

Well, no wonder he's
such a puny little old thing.

- Miss Kitty...
- Get out of the way, Newly.

- What are you doing, Festus?
- Miss Kitty, that other...

I thought Doc sent
you to get Ma Smalley.

That's what I've came
up here to tell him.

Ma Smalley went to visit
her sister in Council Grove.

- That other one a boy, is he?
- It's a boy.

- Oh, there it is.
- Ain't that the limit?

You little old
scudder. You got...

If Doc catches you poking at
that baby, he'll skin you alive.

I ain't a-poking.

I know better than to
go poking at young 'uns.

- You do, huh?
- Well, of course I do.

The way some folks
carries on, it just...

I got more than just a passing
knowing about babies, I'll tell you that.

Well, what are we
gonna do with him?

Put him right in
here with his brother.

- Won't he be a little crowded in there?
- Not as crowded as he has been.

Just turn that back
there for me, will you?

Here.

Now, Kitty, get back
on in there, will you?

All right, now, I'm gonna
have to have some help here.

Festus, I want you to ride
out and get Mrs. Roniger.

Doc, the Ronigers has done
got ten young 'uns. They don't...

Don't tell me how many
young 'uns the Ronigers has got.

I need an expert.
Now, go get her.

- Give me some more paint, Bede.
- Yes, Pa.

Somebody's coming, Pa.

Sure enough.

Why, it's Festus Haggen, Bede.

- Go tell your ma we got company.
- Yes, sir!

- Ma, Ma, Ma!
- What's the matter, Bede?

Mr. Haggen's coming on his mule.

Ma, Ma, Mr. Haggen's coming!

Get down and
come on in and visit.

- Say, it's been a spell, you know it?
- Oh, it sure has.

Say, your brood ain't growed
none since I saw you, has it?

Festus, it's good to see you.

Mary, you go in and set a
place for Mr. Haggen, now.

- You're looking good.
- Festus, what brings you out here?

Well, old Doc sent me out.

Now, you come in and sit and
eat a bite with us whilst we talk.

Timothy, you take care
of Mr. Haggen's mule.

- Come on, everybody.
- I'm gonna take you all...

Come along, Festus. Now,
there are no buts about it.

- No buts about it.
- I got a new doll.

A new doll? What's her name?

Now, Festus, you just sit
right down here and eat.

Well, I done ate my
dinner, Mrs. Roniger.

- Hello, Mr. Haggen.
- How do, Mary?

Mmm. Well, that is, I
had a little light snack.

A little light snack, a
great big fellow like you?

You must be starved.
Now, you sit right down.

Bede, you take that
hat off in the house.

The table that you set, a feller's
just bound to eat a little dab more.

Why don't you just pick in?

All right, now, Bede and
John, let me through here.

- Give Mommy some room.
- Constance, you take Catherine.

We gotta get Mr. Haggen some
hot coffee to go with his stew.

All right? I wanna
see your kitty-cat too.

There we are.

You smell pure old delicious.

Now, Festus, what was
it Dr. Adams wants of us?

Oh, yes. This here lady come into
Dodge and started to having babies.

What's the matter?

Oh, Festus, you do have a
strange way of saying things.

Well, that's what she done.

She come in on this here stagecoach
and she had these here two babies.

Twin. Twin boys she
had. And old Doc, he...

Dr. Adams wants me
to come and help him?

Yes, if you could.

And I'd plan to stay a day
or two anyhow, if you can.

Put the mare to the buggy, Will.

Now, children, I'm gonna be gone for
a few days, and you all know your jobs.

Now, I want you to go up...

Timothy, go up and get my carpet
bag and my bonnet and my shawl.

Mary, would you come out here,
please? And you go and help Tim.

And get out the baby things.

They're in that chest
in the back bedroom.

And, now, Bede, you
gotta help your pa.

My goodness, you're all big
enough to take care of yourselves,

except for little
Catherine here.

Constance, you're gonna
have to look after her.

Now, I'll be back real soon,
but I have to go into Dodge City

and help Dr. Adams and
a mother of little twins.

Now, let's see, John, it's your
turn to say grace at meals, isn't it?

Do you remember
how that goes, John?

- Yes, Ma.
- All right.

God is great. God is good.

We thank him for this
food in the Lord's name.

Amen.

Amen.

Could have been a
lot of people found me.

It had to be the law.

The name's Dillon,
United States marshal.

It's... It's bad.

Who was your partner?

Left me here with
this hole in my belly.

Who was he?

Why? You going after him?

I am.

Now, the way I figure
it, you stopped the stage,

your partner was riding on it
and he got off to help you rob it.

- You got it, Marshal.
- What was his name?

You... You promise to catch him?

I'm gonna do my best.

So long as your best is
good enough to hang him.

- Mrs. Roniger.
- Doctor.

Gracious, am I glad to see you.

Well, it would have hurt my feelings
if you hadn't asked me to come.

Well, I wouldn't wanna hurt
your feelings at a time like this.

Oh, you poor man.
Are you all alone?

No, Kitty's in there
with the mother.

Oh, I should have known that.

- How is the mother?
- Not very good.

How are these babies?

- Two little boys.
- Yep.

And they're so small.

Yeah, but they're all there.

Dr. Adams, these babies
are practically naked.

If I thought you treated
my babies like that,

I don't know what
I'd have done to you.

Well, you had the courtesy
to have yours one at a time.

Dr. Adams.

Another one?

Another little boy.

Triplets?

That's a miracle.

No, the miracle hasn't
happened yet. We're hoping for it.

Mrs. Roniger, I
brung your things.

And old Hank's taken off your
horse over yonder to the stable.

Shh! Festus!

- I was just bringing...
- What in thunder... Oh, it's you.

- I was just bringing Mrs. Roniger's...
- Yes, I heard it.

Why don't you go
out and try it again?

You can probably wake
up somebody on Boot Hill.

Well, I just wanted to get up
here and see how the babies is.

I'll tell you how the babies is,
and you keep away from 'em.

Triplets.

And there's three of 'em too.

Well, howdy-do.

You heard what Doc told you.

I ain't gonna hurt 'em none,
honest I ain't, Miss Kitty.

Biggy buggy.

Biggy buggy. You
little scamp, you.

Why they... they ain't no
bigger than a tater bug, are they?

But aren't they beautiful?

Well...

Well, Miss Kitty, babies is about
the most wonderfullest thing there is,

but as far as being looksome,

there ain't none of these who
could pass without pushing.

Well, look at their little
old squintied-up eyes,

their little old
punchered-up noses.

- They just...
- Festus.

Well, what I mean is...

Well, now, this here,

he's kind of looksome,
that's clear to see,

and he's got an eye for
somebody that's partial to him too,

ain't you, you little...

Doc, is there any change?

Yeah, she's weaker.

Ain't there nothing
we can do, Doc?

It's terrible.

Mrs. Roniger?

Kitty, that little
woman is dying.

Isn't she, Doc?

She wants to die.

She wants to die? Why, Doc?

I wish I was doctor
enough to know.

With these three little young
'uns to be took care of...

I just can't
understand that at all.

Well, maybe if we
knew more about her...

Doc hasn't been
able to find out a thing.

Poor little fella.

What's gonna happen
to you without a mother?

Say, now, buster.

Hey, you ought to be asleep.

Festus, here, you take this one.

- What? What about old Doc?
- I don't care what Doc says.

Here, now, just put your hand
under it. Under, yeah, right, right.

Hand under the head. Now, there.

That's just fine.

Pat it a little bit, gently.

OK, there you go.

Oh, hello, Doc.

- You're up kind of early.
- Haven't been to bed.

No, neither have I.

You look kind of beat down. You
find anybody you was looking for?

Well, I found one of 'em.

- Oh, you got him in jail?
- No, he's dead.

- Resisted, huh?
- No, he's the one Monk shot.

Oh.

Well, you got one of 'em.

Say, Doc, how's that baby?

- That baby's triplets.
- Triplets? You're joking.

No. Three fine boys.

Well, I'll be doggoned.
How's the mother?

Well...

I lost her about
an hour ago, Matt.

Oh, that's a shame.

It sure is.

As fine a looking woman as I've
ever seen and three fine babies

and just didn't wanna live.

I... I don't
understand it at all.

Well, Doc, I think maybe I do.

What do you mean?

Did she say anything to you before
she died, tell you her name or anything?

No, nothing.

Well, the man I found out there did.
He... He talked a little before he died.

Well, what did he say?

Told me the name of the man
who was in on the robbery with him.

Who was it?

This man right here.

Good gracious. How
many names has he got?

Well, looks like about one
for every crime he's committed.

Well, you're gonna
be a busy man.

- I think I can find him all right.
- That's not what I mean.

What do you mean?

Well, I know you gotta
find that skunk there,

but I got three motherless
babies upstairs in my office

and we gotta find their
father, and you gotta help me.

I don't know how
you're gonna manage it,

but you've got two
manhunts on your hands.

No, Doc, just one.

That's the father of
those triplets right there.

It's the same manhunt.

Doctor, number one here just
doesn't seem to take to goat's milk at all.

He can't keep it down, huh?

No, sir, he can't.

- The other two seem to thrive on it.
- Yeah.

Well, babies' tummies
are all different.

Well, this one's tummy is
sure different. It's always empty.

Well, I never bottle-fed
any of my babies.

- I don't know what to do.
- Well, I'll tell you.

We'll try a little honey and
molasses dissolved in warm milk.

That might do it, and if it
don't, I've got another idea.

We'll just see if Mrs. Reeder
won't take charge of him.

- Jenny Reeder?
- Yeah.

She just had a baby last week.

Why, of course.

I figure she ought to
be able to nurse him too.

- There she is.
- Well, what in thunder is that?

Can't you see?
It's a rocking mule.

- I could only build one.
- Oh, that's a shame.

I just went tither and
thither and I couldn't...

find but enough
lumber for this here one.

But I'm gonna get them
other two did. Don't you fret.

Good, fine, do that,
and while you're at it,

why don't you hustle
up a side of beef?

- They gotta eat too.
- Oh, of course, I'll get...

Doc, babies can't eat beef.

Well, if they can ride a
rocking mule, they can eat beef.

Doc. Festus, do you
know Mrs. Reeder?

Jenny Reeder? Yes, I know her.

Would you go and ask
her to come and see us

just as soon as she
feels like stopping by?

Sure will.

- What do you want to see her for?
- It's none of your business.

Do as you're told, get out of
here and take that thing with you.

All right, I'll go.

I'll take it down
to Matthew's office

and then it'll be there
when they get ready for it.

Well, that'll be a week or two.

What'll they play
with till then, Doc?

Their toes. Now, take that thing
and get out of here, will you?

All right, I'm
going, grump head.

Mrs. Roniger, bring number one in
here. I wanna check his bellyband.

He talks about these
babies like they're horses.

OK, all right.

- Kitty.
- Hey, Matt.

- How are the patients?
- Come and take a look for yourself.

By golly, they sure
are tiny, aren't they?

Yeah, well, the way this one eats, he's
gonna grow up to be as big as you are.

Oh, let me just...

Doc told me about
the babies' father.

It's hard to believe that
these tiny little things

could be the sons
of a man like that.

Well, I'm afraid that's not
the worst of it either, Kitty.

I just got a telegram
from the sheriff at Abilene.

He shot the man
yesterday, killed him.

- Are there any relatives?
- No.

The mother had a ticket
from Denver to St. Louis,

and nobody at either end has ever
heard of her or knows anything about her.

Well, that means
they're orphans.

What's gonna happen to 'em?

Let me tell you something.

Nobody is going to send those
babies to any orphanage up in Topeka,

and I'll bet that you've
made up your mind about that

along with everybody
else, haven't you?

Doc, I haven't made up
my mind about anything.

But it wouldn't make a difference
if I had 'cause I'm not the judge.

Judge Blent's gonna
be here next week

and he'll high-hand those
babies right into Topeka, won't he?

Well, I don't know, but when
you get right down to it, Doc,

what else can he do?

There, you see? You're
just like everybody else.

I'll tell you what he could do.
He could find a home for 'em.

Doc, a judge doesn't go around
finding homes for orphans.

- Other people do that.
- Other people?

All right, how about you?

Well, now, that's not
exactly in the category

of a United States
marshal's job either, is it?

Oh. The sheriff of Abilene took care of
your two biggest problems in one squirt.

And you haven't got a second to
help me find a home for those babies?

- Is that it?
- No, that's not it, Doc.

But it doesn't matter
what you and I do anyway

because it's still gonna be
up to the judge to decide.

Matt, if we find a home for 'em, he'd
have to put them in it, wouldn't he?

Well, I... I don't know, it would depend
on what kind of home it was and...

Well, who'd know better
about that than you or me?

Doc, you and I can't go around
knocking on every door in Kansas.

Maybe you can't, but, by thunder, I
can, and that's what I'm gonna do.

Now, where are you gonna
find the time to do that?

You're the one that's too busy.

He sure is worked up, Marshal.

Yeah. I've seen
him like that before.

He'll calm down.

There, you are, Fred. I don't think
you're gonna have any trouble with that.

It's set real good.
Good clean break.

I'm kind of busy right now.

If that should bother you any, why,
you just have Clara bring you into Dodge

and I'll have a look at it.

Well, I sure do thank you
until you're better paid, Doc.

Well, I don't worry about
being better paid from you, Fred.

Guess you've heard about
the triplets we got in Dodge.

Yes. What's gonna
happen to 'em, Doc?

Sure would like to
find a home for 'em.

Will they be sent to
an orphan asylum?

I'm afraid so, unless we can
find somebody that wants 'em.

How about you two?

A ready-made family, Clara.

Oh, but three all at once.

It wouldn't be fair. How
would we feed 'em?

We're having such
hard times, Doc.

Why, there's not a harder worker

or a better provider in the
whole country than Fred.

That's why I ask you.

Could we take just one, Doctor?

No.

No, Clara, whoever gets these babies
is gonna want 'em, all three of 'em.

You want us to
take those babies?

Judge Blent's gonna be back
in town here in three days.

Now, why don't you
talk it over with Mary?

And if you'd like 'em, I think
Doc and I can arrange it.

Oh, Matt, seeing how the mother's
dead and you had no idea who she was,

the father's a criminal
wanted all over, I...

Well, what's that
got to do with it?

Well, bad blood.

Bad blood?

Yes, those boys are
born to grow up bad.

Now, Henry, you
know better than that.

Matt, I've spent a king's
ransom on breed stock

and I haven't got a longhorn
cantankerous critter on my place.

- I breed right.
- We're talking about three boys here.

The sins of the father.
I'm an expert on blood.

Those boys are born criminals.

Henry, nobody's a born criminal.

- Well, that's your idea, Matt.
- That's right.

And I'm an expert on that.

Well, ah.

- Oh, Rudy.
- Howdy.

Evening, Miss Kitty, Newly.

- How are you?
- Fine, fine.

Phew!

She's been a hot
one today, ain't she?

How about a beer, Festus?

Golly Bill. It's hard to get ahead
of you ordering a beer, Miss Kitty.

Much obliged. I believe I will.

I'm just trying to
loosen up your tongue

so I can find out how come
you're prowling around town

at this hour of the night.

Oh, fiddle. I ain't
a-prowling around.

I just got done taking
Mrs. Roniger home

and I seen your lights
on, so I just come in.

You took Mrs. Roniger home?

Oh, she's coming back
tomorrow, Miss Kitty.

She's gonna take care of the
babies while old Doc's in court.

Everybody in Dodge is
gonna be at that trial tomorrow.

Yeah, there's gonna
be some sparks all right.

Well, I'll tell you this.

If that old Judge Blent tries
to bust up them three babies

or send them to a home,

there'll be sparks a-plenty,
I'll guarantee you that.

Poor Doc.

He's worked himself
into a state all right.

Old scudder.

Yeah. I might have
known it was you all right.

You're dry as a bone.
What's the matter with you?

You know, I think... I
think you just like to yell.

You know what I'm gonna do
with you? I'm gonna call you Festus.

I didn't mean it, for
heaven's sake. You don't...

There, now. You see
what you've done?

You've started everybody going.

You're fine.

Good heavens. You
can't be hungry, can you?

Well, of course you are.
Good gracious. Well, certainly.

Go on and howl.
Don't blame you at all.

You gotta howl once in a while,
let folks know you're around.

You can do better than that.

I've heard one coyote put
up a bigger howl than that.

That's better.

Now, that's a lot
better. Let me hear it.

I'm gonna do a little yelling myself too
when Judge Blent gets here tomorrow,

if he tries to cart you
off to an orphanage.

I'll set up a howl that'll make
him think he's in a sandstorm.

I'll... I'll blow him clear
into Indian territory.

You betcha.

All right, folks, let's
make room for two more.

Glory be! Here comes Halligan.

Howdy. How are you?

Move over.

They're coming from
all over to see this one.

Sit down here. Sit down
here. It's cooler by the door.

Everybody rise.

The District Court of the State
of Kansas is now in session,

the Honorable
Judge Blent presiding.

Everybody come to order.

To save the time of the court,

and it looks like about everybody
else in this part of Kansas...

the court will first hear the case
of the three unnamed infants.

Now, since no one has come
forth to claim these infants,

let the record show that the
clerk declares them its wards

as dependent and
neglected children.

They're not
neglected, Your Honor.

The court knows that these
children have not been neglected,

and since there is
a legal difference

between neglected
and dependent children,

the reporter will strike
the word "neglected"

and let the record show that
the children are dependent only.

Bailiff, swear Marshal Dillon.

Do you swear to tell
the truth, the whole truth

and nothing but the
truth, so help you God?

- I do.
- Sit down, please.

Now, Marshal, would you
tell the court what you know

about the father of
these three infants?

Well, Your Honor, he was
killed by the sheriff in Abilene.

At the time he was wanted for a
stagecoach robbery outside of Dodge

and, oh, about a dozen
other crimes that I know of.

Now, he had no known kin
that I could find out about.

Who told you that this man
was the father of the children?

The man that he was involved
in the stagecoach robbery with.

I found him lying in the road.

He was wounded, and he
told me just before he died.

He told you that the mother of the
three infants and this man were married?

- Yes, sir, he did.
- Very well.

Let the record show that the father
of the three infants is deceased

and that they are
therefore orphans.

Now... You may
step down, Marshal.

These three infants are
now the responsibility

of the people of
the state of Kansas,

and according to law, this
court must now commit them

to the care and the custody
of the responsible officials

at the state asylum
for orphans in Topeka.

Just a minute,
Judge, Your Honor.

Aren't you gonna listen to what
anybody else has got to say about this?

Dr. Adams, the court is
acting according to law.

Well, I don't doubt that at all,

but isn't there something else that you
can do that'd still be according to law?

There could be.

The court will entertain any suggestions
that might be a legal alternative.

Well, the first thing I suggest

is that you leave the babies
right where they are for a while.

- The court couldn't do that.
- Well, I don't know why not.

You said they're wards of the court,
the babies are, and you're the court.

You're the same as a
mother and a father to 'em.

You can do about anything
you want to with 'em, can't you?

No. The court must
act according to law.

Well, would it be against
the law to leave them here?

- For what purpose?
- So we can find a home for 'em.

We? Now who do you mean by "we"?

Well, I mean we, the
people of the state of Kansas,

who you said are
responsible for them.

You'll have to be
more specific, Doctor.

All right, I will
be more specific.

I mean we, the people
of the state of Kansas,

who've been taking care of these babies
while we've waited for you to get here.

Now, there's another thing
to consider here, Doctor.

The court cannot leave
these infants in your custody

because then you would be
entitled to a fee as a physician,

and to have orphans in the
constant care of physicians

is more than the taxpayers
of this state can afford.

Let the record show that Dr. Adams
says he won't charge a dime

for taking care of
the orphan triplets.

There, now, the
taxpayers are protected.

Order! Order in this court!

Dr. Adams, the court reminds you

that it is only because
you are a professional man

that you're allowed
to speak here at all.

Now, you are tolerated as a friend
of the court, so please act like one.

Well, I'm acting like a friend of
the babies, and I wish you would too.

That's the last remark of that type
that will be tolerated in this court.

I will stand for no more outbursts.
Now, do I make myself perfectly clear?

Not quite.

Dr. Adams, this court stands
recessed for ten minutes

while you get a hold of yourself and
regain your professional demeanor.

You know, I can
understand how you feel,

but I think you'd do a little better
if you'd kind of simmer down.

How in thunder can I simmer down
when everything he says sets me on fire?

Me too.

There, there. That's a good boy.

Kitty, is it over?

No. But it might as well be.

What happened?

Well, the judge made his ruling

and... well, and
then he rared back

and started talking
like he was gonna

send the babies to
Topeka right then and there.

Oh, no.

Yeah, then Doc rared back and
you can imagine how he reacted.

Oh, yes, I can.

And then the judge reacted, and,
well, they were like two old roosters.

Oh, dear.

About the nicest thing I
could say about those two

is they just don't
understand each other at all.

Well, didn't the judge
listen to Dr. Adams at all?

Oh, yeah, yeah, he listened,

but, well, I think he's
heard about all from Doc

that he wants to hear for
one day, and, besides...

he's already made up his mind.

My patience is worn a little
thin with you, Dr. Adams.

However, this court
is still willing to listen

to any reasonable
argument that you might have

against sending these three infants
to the state asylum for orphans.

Well, in the first place, Judge,
I just don't think an orphanage

is the proper place
for a child to be raised.

It should be in a home.

Second place, if you send
these babies to the orphanage,

they'll be adopted out
separately one at a time.

Well, then they would be in homes.
Isn't that what you recommend?

No. No, these babies
are brothers, you see.

They've got a right to
be raised like brothers.

Well, the court agrees with
the humane aspects of your idea,

but for practical matters...

Judge, why do we have to
be so practical about this?

It just seems to me that
somewhere in the state of Kansas

there's some impractical
man and a wife

who'd wanna take
these three little babies

and raise them as their own
and love 'em like their own

and let 'em grow up decently and
learn to love each other like brothers.

Stay in the buggy, Doc.

Well, I just think that
these little orphans,

from the Lord only knows what
origins, deserve that chance.

And who will find such a couple?

Well, I'll do my best.

- How would you go about it?
- Well, I'd see people.

I'd advertise in the papers
in Topeka and Leavenworth

and Kansas City and Wichita.

I'd... Couldn't you
do that, Judge?

The court has no funds
for such a purpose.

Well, no, I mean,
couldn't you do something?

- What are you getting at?
- I mean donate a little something.

Doctor, these orphans can't be
supported by spontaneous charity.

What in thunder would have happened
to these children in the first place

if it hadn't have been
for spontaneous charity?

Is there a law against that?

Of course not, and these people
have done a commendable thing.

But it's time for the court
and the law to step in

and start giving these infants
constant and systematic care.

Constant, systematic and as
sterile as a hybrid jenny mule.

Order! Order in this court!

You have given
me no alternative.

Now I must send these
children to the asylum.

Just... Just a minute,
Judge, Your Honor.

Now, if you do rule that way,
couldn't you... couldn't you just rule

that they'd have to be
adopted out all together?

Couldn't you do that?

The law only allows that the court
do what it sees best for each child.

So the court says that they have
to go to Topeka to the asylum,

and the court's you, and
there's just no other way?

- Is that it?
- That's it.

And, Doctor, if you have any further
comments to make to this court,

please confine them to the
medical aspects of the case.

All right, I will.

I forbid you to move 'em.

That's a-telling him, Doc.

Order!

What did you say, Doctor?

As their doctor, I forbid
you to move these infants

two thirds of the way
across the state of Kansas

in their delicate condition.

Doctor, competent people will come here
and take those three infants to Topeka.

Well, you heard me. I forbid it.

Competent people will come here

and take those infants
by force if necessary.

All right, let 'em come, Judge,

and whoever they are,
they'll get a decent burial.

And I'll throw the
first shovel full of dirt.

Order! Order in this court!

One more outburst and I'll
have this courtroom cleared.

Marshal, remove Dr. Adams and
Mr. Haggen from this courtroom.

Well, Judge, I... That's
gonna be a little difficult for me.

You obey it or this is the
last time you'll serve this court.

Judge, I'm afraid...

Bailiff, remove Marshal Dillon,
Dr. Adams and Mr. Haggen

from this courtroom.

That's just liable to take you
the biggest part of the day too.

Order!

- Is it a fight?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Order! Order in this court!

- Wait a minute. Wait...
- You shut up.

- Order in this court!
- Well, please, I apologize.

What did you say?

I apologize to the court.

Very well.

In view of your apology, the court
withdraws its order for your removal.

Now, gentlemen, let's
finish with this case.

Let the record show that the court
orders the care and the custody...

Custody but not care.

That the care and the custody
of the three infants be transferred

to the responsible authorities at
the state asylum for orphans in...

Judge, please, just a minute.
Can I say something else?

I have warned you for
the last time, Doctor.

Now, do you wish to address
this court as a medical man?

- Yes.
- Very well. Proceed.

As soon as you've done
what you're just about to do,

I want to examine you to
see if you've got a heart.

Order! Order in this courtroom!

Order! Order! Order!

Dr. Adams, I find you
in contempt of this court

and I fine you 50 dollars,

and until you've paid the fine
and purged yourself of contempt,

you're to remain in jail.

- Bailiff, take Dr. Adams.
- You ain't gonna put old Doc in jail...

No, Judge, Your Honor. No...

No, Judge, Your Honor,
stop, please. Now, wait.

- Who is this woman?
- Judge, this is...

- You shut up!
- Judge, I want those babies.

- And who are you, madam?
- Mrs. Will Roniger, Your Honor.

Well, do you have any children?

He wants to know if Mrs.
Roniger has any children.

Order!

I will rephrase the question, madam.
How many children do you have?

We have ten, Your Honor.

Ten children.

Well, aren't you
being a little hasty?

Oh, no, Judge, I've wanted those
babies since the first minute I saw them.

Well, the... the court would
have to do a lot of investigating

before it turned
three infants over

to a family that already
had ten children.

- Judge, you couldn't find...
- You be quiet.

- Judge, may I say something?
- Proceed, Marshal.

Well, I can give you
my personal guarantee

that this court couldn't find a
better home for these babies

than the Ronigers'll give them.

Sit down, John.

Whoa, whoa.

Mary, Constance, go on up there
and help your ma fetch our boys.

Oh, everybody, wait
till you see these babies.

They are the cutest things
you ever saw in your life.

- You all right there, Kitty?
- Fine.

- Oh, good. Be careful, now.
- I will.

- Oh, girls, come here and see this boy.
- Hi, Ma.

This one is indeed the
handsomest one you ever saw.

Oh, come on, now. Oh,
Will, isn't this wonderful?

It's all legal. They're
adopted to us.

- Let me have him, Mama.
- All right, here. You got him?

- Isn't he a fine boy?
- Say, now.

Hey, ain't he something,
huh, John? Ain't he a dandy?

By golly, son, I'm gonna
make a farmer out of you.

There we go.

Better take him, Mother.

Wait up. Wait up. Whoa, whoa.

Wait. Mrs. Roniger, I want you
folks to take this here rocking mule

and when them little fellers looks
at it, they'll get reminded of me.

- Why, thank you, Festus.
- Yes.

- Much obliged, Festus.
- Thank you, Dr. Adams.

- Mrs. Roniger.
- Thank all of you.

Now, you sit down, children.
Hold onto them young 'uns, huh?

- Gee up.
- So long, Marshal!

- Bye, Festus!
- Bye, Doc!

- Bye, Kitty!
- Bye, Festus!

Bye, Festus! Bye,
Kitty! Bye, Doc!

Now, there's a wagonload
of family, isn't it?

Doc, how many
triplets gets born,

I mean, out of all the
babies that gets born?

How in thunder would I
know anything like that?

Well, I just thought you might have
read some figures on it, that's all.

No, I haven't.

I just hope it don't happen to
me again, not next week, anyway.

The thing that's
puzzlesome to me

is why folks that's done got ten
young 'uns'd want three more.

Doc, you got any
figures on that?

- No, as a matter of fact...
- I think I know.

Some people just have an
unlimited capacity for love.

Stay tuned for scenes
from next week's Gunsmoke.