Gunsmoke (1955–1975): Season 10, Episode 14 - Hammerhead - full transcript
Festus takes part in a horse race in which big money is at stake, tempting some to sabotage the race in order to make sure of the outcome.
(theme music playing)
(both guns fire)
ANNOUNCER: starring
James Arness as Matt Dillon.
♪♪
♪♪
Just ain't fittin'.
What ain't fittin', Wohaw?
That throw of yours.
Ain't nothin' but
just pure luck.
Six in a row.
Just ain't my day, Festus.
Well, no call to
feel bad, Wohaw.
Why, I saw a man
make 200 straight,
and every one of 'em just
clean as a hound's tooth.
Not a one of 'em touched
the stake when they dropped.
Now, just a durn minute, Festus.
I ain't in no mood to listen to
none of your windy tales today.
My head's giving
me the ork orks.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
It ain't... it ain't
your fault, Festus.
I-I just ain't myself today.
It's on account
of that lily-livered
cutback to a ruptured hog.
Fitch Tallman.
How'd you know?
Well, it just sounded like him.
I was in the Long
Branch last night,
and that suck-egg
coyote come in all smilin'
and rubbin' his hands together
as if they'd been dipped
into grease up to his elbow.
"Drinks all around!" he says.
With a special eye for me.
"Drinks all around"?!
Well, that sure don't
sound like old Fitch.
It sure don't.
So I just ups to him and I says,
"Fitch Tallman,
are you celebrating?
One of your cow-critter
horses drop another acorn?"
"No, Mr. Simmons," he says,
"I just got me the
biggest deal in this town.
"Big Jim Ponder blew into town,
"and he's coming over
to my place tomorrow
to buy a whole bunch
of my prize Morgans."
Well, maybe you ought to
have a talk with that Big Jim
and have him
eyeball your animules.
Already did that;
he ain't interested.
Morgans is all he wants to buy.
(smacks lips)
Well, it sure is a dang pity
that he's a-fixin' to
make his fortune...
whilst you just set here
twixt a rock and a
hard place a-waitin'.
Dang pity.
♪♪
Good morning, Marshal.
Morning. What can I
do for you, young lady?
(laughs) You don't remember me.
Well, no, I can't say that I do.
Carrie. Carrie Ponder, Matt.
Well, for goodness sake. Carrie.
- How are you, Marshal?
- Big Jim.
- Been a long time.
- By golly, it has.
What brings you to Dodge?
We're on our way
back to Cheyenne.
Just stopped by
on a little business.
Ah. Well, uh... (clears throat)
Jim, it seems to me the
last time you were in Dodge
we had a little trouble with
that business, didn't we?
(chuckles) Now,
don't you fret none.
I'm a reformed man. No more
trouble for Big Jim Ponder.
No, sir. I'm a, uh, retired
financier, you might say.
(chuckles) Well,
glad to hear it, Jim.
Yeah, I made mine; my
gambling days are over.
Except for a friendly
game now and then.
How long you gonna be in Dodge?
Daddy's here to buy some
horses to take back with us.
JIM: And you just know I
wouldn't go through Dodge
without stopping
by to say hello.
- Jim, it was good to see you.
- (laughs)
Carrie, I'm sorry I
didn't recognize you,
but you've grown some.
Bye, Matt.
♪♪
MAN: Uh, bring
'em right on in, Tom.
That's the way.
Now, I'll tell you, boys,
this is a big deal for me.
It ain't every day a man like
Big Jim Ponder comes this way.
It wouldn't hurt for you
to put in a word once
in a while, you know?
Sure, sort of
grease the axle, like.
Oh, that's the way.
Now, you pass out
them silver dollars, Tom.
Little something for
your trouble, boys.
Buy yourselves a
cee-gar. (chuckles)
Oh.
Oh, Mr. Ponder. (chuckles)
- Call me Big Jim.
- Big Jim.
Oh, Miss Ponder.
I sure am honored
you could make it.
I said I'd be here, didn't I?
I hope you don't mind, but
some of the boys was by
- to look over the stock.
- Oh. It don't make no never mind.
- Howdy, boys.
- Well, that's fine, that's just fine.
Now, uh, take a look, sir.
You won't find better
horseflesh in the territory.
Now, that looks
like a lot of horse.
- Uh, Stomp?
- Yes, sir.
Oh, you can take my
word for it, Big Jim,
that's one long horse.
He's got a fast walk
and an easy lope.
What are you
asking for him, Fitch?
(chuckles nervously)
Well, are you talking
for the gentleman here,
or your own self, Festus?
Well, I just might have
a hankerin' myself.
Well, a hundred dollars.
A hundred...!
Why, I wouldn't give you
$20 for that old crow bait.
(chuckles): Well, I
ain't asking you, Festus.
A man'd be a dang fool
to buy an animule like that.
FITCH (laughs): Don't pay
no attention to him, Big Jim.
You can take my word for it,
that critter's a
steal at a hundred.
Well, if you figure
he's such a good horse,
why are you willing
to sell him so cheap?
Well, I'm in the
horse-trade business,
not no hotel for broncs.
That's how come.
Well, you sure are
a-bustin' to get rid of him.
He got a case of worms, or what?
You, uh, better bite down on
that tongue of yours, Festus.
What do you think is
the matter with the horse?
Well, you know, ma'am, uh,
I won't say that he ain't able
to pull a little ol' buggy
or something like that,
but these here Morgans,
there ain't ten of 'em
that's worth the tail end
of a good quarter horse.
Begging your pardon, ma'am.
You wouldn't be here on account
of Wohaw Simmons, would you?
Well, dang my hide,
it's funny you'd say that.
He... he sells the
best quarter horses,
which is the best anyhow
horse in these parts.
Ain't a quarter horse
alive will match a Morgan.
Well, then you ain't saw
Wohaw Simmons' horses, mister.
Uh, Festus, we don't
need your opinions.
I just hate to see a greener
get swindle-ized, is all.
Who you callin' a greener!
No offense.
Look, boy, I was judging
horses afore you was fryin' size.
Well, if they was
any like this bunch,
you was judgin'
'em for bear bait.
Ain't nobody talks to Big
Jim Ponder like he does.
- Daddy, no. Please, no.
- Ain't nobody!
Uh, Big Jim, about
this fine horse...
- Aw... ain't no use.
- Daddy, please...
That feller's got me
all riled up. Maybe later.
Maybe after lunch. Daddy
always feels better after lunch.
I-I'm sure we can
make a deal, Big Jim.
I'm a fair man.
You'll-you'll find out.
JIM: Like I said, maybe later.
And quit hopping up and
down like a gall-durned frittery.
You make me nervous.
♪♪
♪♪
- Daddy?
- What?
You remember you promised
to pick me out a horse
for when we get home?
Oh, sure I did. I will as soon
as we get back to Tallman's.
I don't want one of
those big Morgans.
I'd like to see some
of those quarter horses
that man was talking about.
Oh, no.
- Where are you going?
- I'll see you later, Daddy.
Carrie, come back here!
I'm a-fixin' to make
a big sale for Wohaw,
so don't you say
nothin', you hear me?
Oh, Festus, you can't do that.
You don't know nothin' about...
Well, this is sure a big
surprise, Miss Ponder, ma'am.
Well, you sounded so convincing,
I thought I'd take a look at
some of your quarter horses.
Well, they ain't actual mine.
Wohaw Simmons runs this
place, and he's went to have dinner.
I'm just kind of his friend.
Well, Big Jim Ponder! I'm
sure glad you dropped by.
The horse is right over yonder.
I got eyes, boy.
Them cutback stump-suckers
ain't my thought of a horse.
Well, then you ain't
no judge like you claim.
Just step over here.
Now, them right
yonder, Mr. Big Jim,
is what you call
purely horseflesh.
I ain't plannin' on eatin' 'em.
Riding's my interest.
Well, you just
step in here then.
Watch the gate, would you?
Don't let the horse get out.
I'm fixin' to show
you a horse here
that'll just fairly
make your eyes bulge
and pop right out of your head.
This here one I'm
fixin' to show you,
she's my very favorite.
(scoffs) What's the
matter with you, boy?
That hammerhead's a he.
Or what passes for one.
Well, uh, a-a good horse
is like a purty woman.
That's the way I see 'em.
Just-just like
Miss Carrie there.
I think you're
quite right, Festus.
And I thank you
for the compliment.
This here's a horse
that'd do anybody proud.
If you don't expect to do
more than a quarter
of a mile with him.
Well, golly Bill, I
sure like your humor.
Now, you may know all there
is to know about Morgan horses,
but this here's a whole
different kind of a...
Wohaw. H-Have you met
up with Mr. Big Jim Ponder
- and Miss Carrie?
- Yes, I met them yesterday.
Howdy, Mr. Ponder. Ma'am.
Your partner here has
got my daughter interested
in one of these
quarters... But I ain't.
They're a lot of horse.
Like I was saying, Miss
Carrie, if I was you or your pa,
I'd-I'd take this
here one right here,
the pick of the whole litter.
WOHAW: He's a good
enough horse, Mr. Ponder,
but, now, here, let me
show you something.
Wohaw, wha...
I know how you feel about
this old horse and everything,
but tradin's tradin'.
Well, I like him,
Daddy, and I want him.
Carrie, if you buy that
critter, you'll take the money
out of your own pocket... And
don't you come crying to me
if it ain't all the
horse he says it is.
Now, wait just a
minute, Big Jim.
I want to tell you something.
This little pony can
run the socks off
of any animule you want to name.
FITCH: Do you say!
Well, do you say!
Big Jim. Uh, Miss Ponder.
I heard you was here.
Now, I'm mighty glad you come,
so you can see the difference
between these... (chuckles)
these puddin' foots
and my Morgans.
You miserable scissorbill!
Well, now, you listen
here, Wohaw Simmons,
- don't you go calling me...
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
They's ladies present.
I, uh, hear you
say that that horse
can, uh, beat any
animal I care to name.
That's what I said.
You wouldn't want to make
a little bet on it, would you?
Well, I ain't rolling
in hard money,
but, uh, I'd bet
you two dollars.
(laughing)
I mean, uh, real money.
I'll wager with
you, Mr. Tallman.
You're not gonna bet, Carrie.
It's my horse.
You ain't bought him yet.
Mr. Simmons, how much?
Well, uh, I hadn't really
thought about it. Uh, that...
CARRIE: How much?
$20 be all right?
(Jim chuckles)
Well, you're an honest
man, I'll say that for you.
That's about what he's worth.
How much would you
care to wager, Mr. Tallman?
JIM: Carrie, you
ain't gonna bet!
How much, Mr. Tallman?
Oh, uh, how's about, uh, $50?
Make it $100.
You got a bet.
Your horse against
any one of mine.
Well, hold... hold on there.
What are you getting
my daughter into?
Oh, it's the surest
money she'll ever see.
Uh, Mr. Ponder, I...
I never like to take
advantage of nobody.
That's a good enough
horse, but he ain't no speeder.
Oh.
Oh, fiddle, that don't
make no difference.
This ain't no skim milk race.
This here's a real race.
Any distance you say, Festus.
Any distance?
Well, supposing we was to
start right here in Dodge City,
and, uh...
and wind up in
Mr. Big Jim's hometown
of Cheyenne, Wyoming?
Oh, now, wait. That's
more than 300 miles.
It's closer to 350.
A man could kill
a horse doing that.
Oh, it might kill some
of them goats of yours,
but it ain't gonna kill any
real horses like them of mine.
I don't like it.
It's-it's too far.
Well, you said any distance.
Now that's my race.
Dodge City to Cheyenne, Wyoming.
Like the sound of it.
Think I'll take
some of that bet.
Oh, well, then it suits me.
Dodge to Cheyenne it is.
I'll bet $1,000
that this hammerhead
will take your Morgan.
You betting against
me, Big Jim? I-I thought...
To make it even
better, whoever wins,
I'll take over his entire stock
at his price. Fair enough?
Fair enough with me.
Well, uh... it's a deal.
JIM: Let's work out the details.
Now, Wohaw, is
this all your stock?
What you seen right there.
Festus, you really
think my horse can win?
Well, if he 'tain't,
I sure did make a
big mistake, didn't we?
(lively piano music
playing, chatter and laugher)
Hello, Kitty.
Oh, Matt. How about a beer?
Fine.
Couple of beers, Sam.
- Well, have you heard the news yet?
- What's that?
There's gonna be a horse
race from here to Cheyenne.
Big Jim Ponder's bet
$1,000 with Fitch Tallman
that he can beat Fitch's Morgan
with one of Wohaw
Simmons' quarter horses.
Well, now, that's quite a bet,
and that's quite a distance.
Festus is gonna ride for Wohaw.
From the way I heard it,
Festus started this whole thing.
Oh, I might have known that.
He doesn't know anything
about horse racing.
When's this race gonna be?
Three weeks. They got to
toughen up the horses first.
Matt, it's the
darndest set of rules
you ever heard in your life.
The race starts at 6:00
on a Monday morning
and ends at 6:00 in the
evening the next Saturday.
- In Cheyenne?
- In Cheyenne.
Well, that's... that's darn
near 60 mile a day to ride.
Ain't never yet seen
a quarter to do it.
You said Big Jim
Ponder's betting on it?
Yeah. But of course now, look,
they won't be riding
all out all the time.
From the way I heard it,
each rider takes along a
helper with a buckboard,
so they'll be making
lots of camp all the way.
Yeah, but even so...
one horse, 350
miles in six days.
(laughs)
I know them Morgans
would be hard to beat,
but... Big Jim ain't no fool.
I lost a pile of money
to him a while back.
I'd sure like to get even.
Jack...
why don't you go
find Fitch Tallman?
Tell him I'd like to see him.
I got a hunch Big Jim might
be holding a dead man's hand.
All right, Mr. Deggers.
But, uh, the race has
already been set up.
Why should there
be another horse?
More excitement,
more benefits all around.
And more insurance.
I got a cinch against
that old pudding foot.
I can't lose.
It's a long way from
here to Cheyenne.
Supposing your Morgan
tripped in a gopher hole?
Well...
Think of the insurance
another entry'd give you.
(liquid pouring)
(laughs) What exactly
you got in mind?
You mount a Morgan for me.
We'll enter it, Jack'll ride it,
and you'll get the purse
no matter which one wins.
- You'll let me keep the purse?
- DEGGERS: Sure.
Sure. I'll make my money
betting against Big Jim Ponder.
Well, that sure
sounds fair enough.
You got yourself a deal.
Okay.
So, when I hear that
Big Jim Ponder's in town,
I... I figure there's
something in the wind.
The only thing windy in
this town is you, Deggers.
What's on your mind?
About this race.
Word I hear is that there's
some betting on who will win.
How'd you like to lay a
little money on with me?
How much?
Ah, we can make it
friendly or worthwhile.
Ain't nothing friendly
between you and me, Deggers.
Name a figure.
$10,000.
You got a bet.
$10,000 the quarter horse
will beat Tallman's Morgan?
Dodge to Cheyenne.
JIM: Right.
I'll get it written down
all legal, Big Jim.
Rules and everything.
You can read it before you sign.
(laughs) You're
doggone right I'll read it.
I'll get it to this afternoon.
Thank you.
That's a pretty big piece
of change, Mr. Ponder.
Well, ain't the money so much,
as I hate losing to Deggers.
You seem pleased enough
to bet with Fitch Tallman
when Festus set up the race.
Listen, Simmons,
that was only $1,000
and to please my daughter.
With Deggers, I got a
reputation to keep up.
Now I'm worried.
- Matthew.
- DILLON: Hello, Festus.
You want to see me, did you?
Yeah, yeah. It's, uh...
it's about this race.
Oh, it's gonna be a
pearl button bangle Billy,
Matthew.
(laughs) Well, it's
one way of looking at it.
Festus, do you know how
much money's bet on this race?
Over $50,000, and it
doesn't even start till Monday.
Well, I heared it
was a heap of money.
(sighs)
Well, not only that,
but there's a lot of talk
going around town
that isn't exactly healthy.
FESTUS: What
kind of talk's that?
Well, that the
race isn't square,
and that you're riding
to lose for gamblers.
Well, that's a dang lie,
Matthew, and you know it is!
I'm a-riding to win.
I know it, Festus.
Best of luck to you.
Much obliged.
Glad you said one
decent thing to me.
Accusing me of cheating. Who...
(door closes)
All right.
Texas Best.
Mm-hmm. $2,000 on Texas Best.
To win?
(laughs) Well, that's
the way I play 'em.
To win.
Uh, who holds the money?
Dodge Bank, that's who.
Armed escort takes it over.
All bets clean and on the table.
- All right.
- Who's next?
Reckon I'll take that Morgan.
Uh, Rattlesnake Joe, huh?
Well, you got the
best horse, mister.
This here's his owner.
Other two ain't got a chance.
Oh. I thought there
were only supposed
to be two horses in this race.
Ah, we got another one entered.
A friend of mine.
Yeah, there's Texas
Best, Rattlesnake Joe
and that critter that ain't got
no name 'cept "Hammerhead."
(laughter)
Well, I think I'd like to see
him before I bet on him.
Well, you just get over
to my stable, mister.
Of course, that, uh,
quarter critter ain't there.
I don't want him giving the
epizootic to the other two.
(laughter)
I heared what you
said, Fitch Tallman,
you gotch-eared mutton-puncher.
It don't make me no never mind
that you and your pal run
another horse in on me.
But this race is private
between you and me.
You want a real
bet? Winner take all?
If my horse beats yours,
I get your stable
and everything's in it.
If yours beats mine,
the same thing goes.
Well, that's a real good
bet, Wohaw. You heard.
You all heard. It's a bet.
(laughing)
Maybe I'll give you a
job sweeping, Wohaw.
(laughter)
All right. Who's next?
You better take an
extra keg of water along.
The weather's been kind of dry.
How's the hammerhead?
(crickets chirping)
That's three times today
you've asked me that
same thing, Big Jim.
I'm asking again.
Well, then, I'll
answer you again.
He's fit as a fiddle
and feeling fine
and just hard as a dang rock.
Evening, Miss Carrie.
Everything all right?
What is that?
My things. I'm riding
the buckboard tomorrow.
No, you ain't. Squatty
Reynolds is driving helper.
You and me's going to
Cheyenne to be in at the finish.
Daddy, it's my horse.
Now, I either go along to help,
or I take my horse
out of the race.
You can't do that, ma'am.
Yes, I can!
Festus, I'm a good cook, and
I can help with lots of things.
Ain't fit for a woman.
You ain't gonna get
much sleep, Miss Carrie.
Well, neither will you.
Now, I don't want to
hear any more arguments.
I'm riding the buckboard.
Well, that being the case,
I reckon you'd
ought to take a squint
at these maps we've drew up.
Now, this here ain't gonna be
no running race, like we said.
It's gonna be slow and easy.
We're gonna lope for a while,
and then walk a little bit, and
jog a little bit, and then stop,
and then walk some more,
and jog some more,
and lope a little more
and like that.
Main thing, we've
got to follow this trail
just the way it's marked here.
The mainest thing is
to make that night camp,
so that old horse'll get
plenty of feed and rest.
You get there first,
you wait for me.
I get there first,
I'll wait for you.
And if I feel like
ol' Hammerhead's
got more left in him,
well, then, I'll
just go ahead on.
And I'll leave word
where I've went.
Now these marks here is
where you'll get new horses.
A fresh team every
day. You understand?
Yes.
Say, you're gonna need a hat.
Oh, here's one of mine.
That sun out there
gets mighty hot.
You go on and get some sleep.
I'll take care of
things for morning.
Festus, tell you, I
admire your guts.
You win this one, there's
500 extra in it for you.
Dollars?
Yeah, dollars.
Well, much obliged
to you, Big Jim.
I'll see you all directly.
(chuckles)
(indistinct chatter)
Put horns them on them Morgans,
you couldn't tell 'em
from bald-faced cattle.
- Uh, we'll see, we'll see.
- That's what you say.
Is it about time, Doc?
Yes, just a minute
now. I'm watching it.
Riders, get ready!
Get set!
(gunshot)
(indistinct shouting)
What happened, Festus?
I don't know. Reckon
I fell off my horse.
- Festus, are you all right?
- Of course I'm all right.
- Well, what are you gonna do?
- Well, I'm fixing to get me
another saddle and get goin'.
You get back on the buckboard.
It won't take me but a minute.
If this is dirty work,
Fitch Tallman did it.
I'm gonna cut out his
heart and feed it to him!
It's been cut.
Tough luck, Festus.
It wasn't luck, Matthew.
- Ha! Get goin'! (shouting)
- (cheering)
Sam, could, uh, we have
a coffeepot over here?
Sure.
You know, Matt, I...
I think this is just
the beginning.
I don't like it at all what
happened to Festus.
- I just don't like the smell of it.
- Why?
Well, I think there's too much
money involved, for one thing.
Well, Doc, I'm gonna
take the train to Cheyenne,
be there for the finish...
I figure that's
about all I can do.
When will you be leaving?
Well, I'm gonna take
the Wednesday train.
That should get
me there in time.
Before you go, you better have
a talk with Wohaw Simmons.
He's-he's about ready to
blow out Tallman's lamp.
I've already talked to him, Doc.
Well, if you hear anything
around, let me know.
Wait a minute.
What chance do you think the
hammerhead's got in this race?
Not much. Why?
I bet five dollars on him.
(chuckles) So did I.
Let's slow down there, boys.
- Whoa now. Let's slow down.
- Why are you slowing down?
Well, ma'am, these old
horses weren't built for speed
like that. Besides, we've
only come ten miles.
We got a fair piece to go
before we change teams.
But we got to catch up
with Festus for the first camp.
(chuckles) Well,
the way he took off,
ma'am, we're
gonna be a mite late.
Now, you wouldn't want this
old team to go lame on you,
would you?
How far behind the
others do you think he is?
Oh, I reckon we lost
about 15 minutes.
But in a six-day race, that
ain't hurting us too much.
I sure hope that Festus
knows what he's a-doin'
whippin' up that old
hammerhead right at the start.
(horse snorts)
♪♪
♪♪
(water splashing)
♪♪
(horse snorts)
Well, if it ain't ol'
Hammerhead, huh?
How's everything?
Oh, fine, fine. Just fine.
Last I saw of Tallman's
Morgans, they were ahead of you.
How far?
Oh, a good ten minutes.
Kind of lathered up, ain't he?
Well, he likes to sweat.
See you again.
Got her done?
- All set.
- Okay.
Much obliged. Hyah!
Giddyup!
Come on. Come on.
Squatty, don't let him get away!
- Well, why don't you help him?
- Well, it ain't my job
to go chasin' the horses,
ma'am. He-He'll catch him. Maybe.
Oh, hold this. I'll get him.
Squatty, don't let him get away!
I ain't!
(shouting indistinctly)
May be enough here
for a swallow or two.
That creek's about dry.
You old scutter you.
For a horse, you
ain't a bad animule.
I ain't saying you'd
stand up beside no mule,
but you sure have did
yourself proud today.
Wished I had some
good feed for ya.
Well, Miss Carrie and
Squatty will be along directly,
and, when they do, I'm
a-fixin' to give you a rubdown
that'll make you feel so good
you'll just want to faunch
and bellow like a bull.
(buckboard approaching)
There they are now.
- Whoa there, boys.
- Where you been?
Oh, Festus, I'm so sorry.
We had nothing but trouble.
That's sure a fact, Festus.
Squatty took the wrong trail,
and we had to go
all the way back.
Well, don't fret now. You get
the feed bag for Hammerhead.
I'll take care of that, Squatty.
You get the wood for the fire.
Yes, ma'am.
- Festus. Festus?
- Here, hold that, will you?
I don't trust that man.
Squatty?
I think he deliberately
tried to get us lost.
I showed him the map, and...
he said he knew a shortcut.
That's how come we're so late.
Oh, don't get picky now.
Squatty's all right.
We-We've made up the time today.
We must've did
pretty near 60 miles.
Soon as we have some
grub, I'm gonna get a few hours
of shut-eye, and I'm
gonna get back at 'em again.
- And you better do the same thing.
- Yes.
Get that grub started 'cause
my backbone's a-snatchin'
at my belt buckle.
Don't forget the feed
bag for Hammerhead.
All right, Festus.
♪♪
- Whoa.
- How you making out?
Fair.
Feeney's still up ahead, is he?
Yep. I figure we lost
a little ground today.
Maybe you're coming up.
Well, I'm doing the best I can.
Good luck to you.
Yeah.
(horses approaching)
The best I could do.
That old skinflint wanted $200.
I finally gave him $150.
Well, you did right
and well, Miss Carrie.
Well, it's better than nothing.
Start getting these
things out of here.
Yes, ma'am.
Sure was lucky we broke
down close to a ranch.
I can't understand
how the wheel came off.
Oh, loose nut. Probably
come off way back yonder.
Hurry up, Squatty. We
got to catch up with Festus.
Yes, ma'am. I'm coming.
I'll be right there.
♪♪
- Whoa there.
- FESTUS: It's about time.
I got me a thirst
that won't quit.
Where'd you get that wagon at?
Buckboard broke down.
Did you hear me? I said
the buckboard broke down.
And Squatty did it.
You're just a-bustin' to
hang up his hide, ain'tcha?
The wheel came
off the buckboard.
And he must have done it,
because I saw the wheel
nut fall out of his pocket.
Ask him.
Squatty?
Miss Carrie there says you had
a accident with the buckboard.
Oh, there sure was, Festus.
But Miss Carrie
wasn't hurt none.
Well, how'd it come about?
Well, lost wheel nut, I guess.
I hate to insult a
man without no proof,
but maybe you ought
to turn your pockets out.
Oh, no, I ain't a-gonna do that.
Why, you dang dumbbell!
He didn't even have the
brains to throw it away.
CARRIE: Festus!
Get up here.
How come you is doing this?
- You working for Fitch Tallman?
- Don't hit me, Festus!
You better talk
to me, or I'm fixin'
to whittle your ears
off... And I mean it!
(panting): Well, he offered
me a hundred dollars
and a... a better job
if I do like he said.
And you've been a-workin' for
Wohaw Simmons for four years.
You sure are a boggy dang yahoo!
Now, you haul tail out of here,
or I'm fixin' to turn you
every way but loose!
And don't you show up in
Dodge, neither, you understand?
Now, get going!
♪♪
Sure am plumb
sorry, Miss Carrie.
I... I ought to have
listened to you.
It's all right, Festus.
We're gonna win anyway.
'Course we will.
Let's get some supper.
♪♪
(horse huffs)
(train whistle blowing)
♪♪
♪♪
CARRIE: What's wrong?
What's wrong?
(screaming)
No! Let go!
(birds chirping)
What do you say, Festus?
I figured you was up ahead.
I... took the wrong
turnoff this morning.
Must have gone about
ten miles out of my way.
- You quittin'?
- No, not on your old tintype.
I'm a-waiting for my wagon.
You got a long wait... we
passed it a couple miles back.
- Broke down?
- Don't know.
- Nobody around it, that's for sure.
- Festus!
Wait a minute, no
cause to get worried.
Well, not for you, there ain't!
Aw, nobody's gonna hurt
that gal, that's for sure.
And how do you know that?
What else do you know?
I-I'm just figuring, that's all.
I mean, well, now, take it easy.
Well, if the girl
doesn't show up,
maybe somebody's telling you
that if you drop out of the race
then... nobody gets hurt.
Are you working for
Fitch Tallman, too?
(chuckles): Never heard of him.
DILLON: Hold it!
All right, that's enough.
All right, take
the gun belt off.
Well, this feller jumped us.
We was just taking care of him.
Yeah, I know.
- Where is she?
- She? Who?
The girl that's
gonna get you hung
if anything's happened to her.
Wait a minute, we didn't
have nothin' to do with that.
No. We just did as we were told.
They didn't want this fella
to win the race, that's all.
Deggers?
We didn't take the girl.
- No, it was two other boys, I swear.
- Where is she now?
At a line check.
About a mile off the road.
You can see it from
the rise of the hill.
Get over there.
Festus... how are you?
I have felt a
heap better, but...
All right, we're gonna
ride up to that shack.
Suppose they start shooting.
Then you're gonna get shot at.
How come you here, Matthew?
Well, I heard Deggers
was trying to do
everything he could to keep
you from winning this race,
so I got on a train
and went to Cheyenne
and came back this
way looking for you.
You see Rattlesnake Joe?
Yeah, he's only about
three miles ahead of you.
We gotta get Miss Carrie.
Well, now, wait a minute.
I'll take care of that.
You may need some help.
Festus, there's a lot of money
ridin' on you in this race.
If you're a mind to finish it,
I think that's what
you ought to do.
Reckon so, but...
I ain't got no feed for
the horse nor nothing.
You just take what you
need right off of here.
I'll catch up with
you as soon as I can.
You've only got 20
miles to Cheyenne.
Yeah.
All right.
Get up there.
Rattlesnake Joe's gone by.
He's got five minutes on you.
Much obliged! How far to go?
About five miles.
Come on, men, let's go to town.
♪♪
- See you in town!
- I'll be there!
They're on your tail, partner.
The old quarter's
coming up fast.
Thanks!
(gunshots)
(gunfire continues)
They're coming,
about a mile out!
- Who's ahead?
- The Morgan.
- (laughing)
- The quarter's right behind him.
I knowed he'd
do it! I knowed it.
He's still got a chance!
(gunshots)
FESTUS: Move over, boy!
I'm gonna show you how
the cow eat the cabbage!
(spectators whooping)
(spectators cheering)
(gunshots)
(cheering)
Festus! Ha!
(laughing)
We got it! Ha!
(gunshots)
That's the greatest horse ever!
(cheering, whooping)
That's the greatest...!
(excited shouting)
(Festus speaking indistinctly)
FESTUS: Carrie! Carrie...
- Who won? Who won?
- FESTUS: We won!
- (Carrie shrieks)
- We did, we did!
Old Hammerhead did!
- (shrieking)
- Darn right he did!
You all right?
Oh, yes! Yes!
There ain't no need
to cry. We won.
(Carrie laughs)
I know, I'm so happy.
(Festus laughs)
Here, you got a big smudge
on your nose and everything.
- I'll get it.
- (laughs)
You will come back and see
us sometime, won't you, Festus?
I just can't tell, Miss Carrie.
I... I might do that.
Anytime, boy.
Anytime.
I'm sorry to see you go, Festus.
Well, I'd purely admire
to stay for a spell,
but, uh, plain truth is I
just ain't man enough
to put up with no more
of your pa's celebrating.
(laughs)
A little hurrah
never hurt anybody.
Besides, a man don't
win a race like that
every day.
No, sir, I reckon he don't.
We kind of dogged it around
last night, didn't we, boy?
Oh, we sure did.
Cheyenne knows
we was here, all right.
Thank you again for
everything, Festus.
You're welcome, Miss Carrie.
And you take good
care of ol' Hammerhead.
She ain't no mule,
but she sure is a
lot of horse, ain't he?
She sure is, Festus.
Say, uh, Festus, uh...
I think the stage is waiting.
So long.
Hey, Festus, you sure you
want to come back with us?
Looks like you might be
better off staying right here.
I'll study about it all
the way back, Matthew.
Hyah!
(both guns fire)
ANNOUNCER: starring
James Arness as Matt Dillon.
♪♪
♪♪
Just ain't fittin'.
What ain't fittin', Wohaw?
That throw of yours.
Ain't nothin' but
just pure luck.
Six in a row.
Just ain't my day, Festus.
Well, no call to
feel bad, Wohaw.
Why, I saw a man
make 200 straight,
and every one of 'em just
clean as a hound's tooth.
Not a one of 'em touched
the stake when they dropped.
Now, just a durn minute, Festus.
I ain't in no mood to listen to
none of your windy tales today.
My head's giving
me the ork orks.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
It ain't... it ain't
your fault, Festus.
I-I just ain't myself today.
It's on account
of that lily-livered
cutback to a ruptured hog.
Fitch Tallman.
How'd you know?
Well, it just sounded like him.
I was in the Long
Branch last night,
and that suck-egg
coyote come in all smilin'
and rubbin' his hands together
as if they'd been dipped
into grease up to his elbow.
"Drinks all around!" he says.
With a special eye for me.
"Drinks all around"?!
Well, that sure don't
sound like old Fitch.
It sure don't.
So I just ups to him and I says,
"Fitch Tallman,
are you celebrating?
One of your cow-critter
horses drop another acorn?"
"No, Mr. Simmons," he says,
"I just got me the
biggest deal in this town.
"Big Jim Ponder blew into town,
"and he's coming over
to my place tomorrow
to buy a whole bunch
of my prize Morgans."
Well, maybe you ought to
have a talk with that Big Jim
and have him
eyeball your animules.
Already did that;
he ain't interested.
Morgans is all he wants to buy.
(smacks lips)
Well, it sure is a dang pity
that he's a-fixin' to
make his fortune...
whilst you just set here
twixt a rock and a
hard place a-waitin'.
Dang pity.
♪♪
Good morning, Marshal.
Morning. What can I
do for you, young lady?
(laughs) You don't remember me.
Well, no, I can't say that I do.
Carrie. Carrie Ponder, Matt.
Well, for goodness sake. Carrie.
- How are you, Marshal?
- Big Jim.
- Been a long time.
- By golly, it has.
What brings you to Dodge?
We're on our way
back to Cheyenne.
Just stopped by
on a little business.
Ah. Well, uh... (clears throat)
Jim, it seems to me the
last time you were in Dodge
we had a little trouble with
that business, didn't we?
(chuckles) Now,
don't you fret none.
I'm a reformed man. No more
trouble for Big Jim Ponder.
No, sir. I'm a, uh, retired
financier, you might say.
(chuckles) Well,
glad to hear it, Jim.
Yeah, I made mine; my
gambling days are over.
Except for a friendly
game now and then.
How long you gonna be in Dodge?
Daddy's here to buy some
horses to take back with us.
JIM: And you just know I
wouldn't go through Dodge
without stopping
by to say hello.
- Jim, it was good to see you.
- (laughs)
Carrie, I'm sorry I
didn't recognize you,
but you've grown some.
Bye, Matt.
♪♪
MAN: Uh, bring
'em right on in, Tom.
That's the way.
Now, I'll tell you, boys,
this is a big deal for me.
It ain't every day a man like
Big Jim Ponder comes this way.
It wouldn't hurt for you
to put in a word once
in a while, you know?
Sure, sort of
grease the axle, like.
Oh, that's the way.
Now, you pass out
them silver dollars, Tom.
Little something for
your trouble, boys.
Buy yourselves a
cee-gar. (chuckles)
Oh.
Oh, Mr. Ponder. (chuckles)
- Call me Big Jim.
- Big Jim.
Oh, Miss Ponder.
I sure am honored
you could make it.
I said I'd be here, didn't I?
I hope you don't mind, but
some of the boys was by
- to look over the stock.
- Oh. It don't make no never mind.
- Howdy, boys.
- Well, that's fine, that's just fine.
Now, uh, take a look, sir.
You won't find better
horseflesh in the territory.
Now, that looks
like a lot of horse.
- Uh, Stomp?
- Yes, sir.
Oh, you can take my
word for it, Big Jim,
that's one long horse.
He's got a fast walk
and an easy lope.
What are you
asking for him, Fitch?
(chuckles nervously)
Well, are you talking
for the gentleman here,
or your own self, Festus?
Well, I just might have
a hankerin' myself.
Well, a hundred dollars.
A hundred...!
Why, I wouldn't give you
$20 for that old crow bait.
(chuckles): Well, I
ain't asking you, Festus.
A man'd be a dang fool
to buy an animule like that.
FITCH (laughs): Don't pay
no attention to him, Big Jim.
You can take my word for it,
that critter's a
steal at a hundred.
Well, if you figure
he's such a good horse,
why are you willing
to sell him so cheap?
Well, I'm in the
horse-trade business,
not no hotel for broncs.
That's how come.
Well, you sure are
a-bustin' to get rid of him.
He got a case of worms, or what?
You, uh, better bite down on
that tongue of yours, Festus.
What do you think is
the matter with the horse?
Well, you know, ma'am, uh,
I won't say that he ain't able
to pull a little ol' buggy
or something like that,
but these here Morgans,
there ain't ten of 'em
that's worth the tail end
of a good quarter horse.
Begging your pardon, ma'am.
You wouldn't be here on account
of Wohaw Simmons, would you?
Well, dang my hide,
it's funny you'd say that.
He... he sells the
best quarter horses,
which is the best anyhow
horse in these parts.
Ain't a quarter horse
alive will match a Morgan.
Well, then you ain't saw
Wohaw Simmons' horses, mister.
Uh, Festus, we don't
need your opinions.
I just hate to see a greener
get swindle-ized, is all.
Who you callin' a greener!
No offense.
Look, boy, I was judging
horses afore you was fryin' size.
Well, if they was
any like this bunch,
you was judgin'
'em for bear bait.
Ain't nobody talks to Big
Jim Ponder like he does.
- Daddy, no. Please, no.
- Ain't nobody!
Uh, Big Jim, about
this fine horse...
- Aw... ain't no use.
- Daddy, please...
That feller's got me
all riled up. Maybe later.
Maybe after lunch. Daddy
always feels better after lunch.
I-I'm sure we can
make a deal, Big Jim.
I'm a fair man.
You'll-you'll find out.
JIM: Like I said, maybe later.
And quit hopping up and
down like a gall-durned frittery.
You make me nervous.
♪♪
♪♪
- Daddy?
- What?
You remember you promised
to pick me out a horse
for when we get home?
Oh, sure I did. I will as soon
as we get back to Tallman's.
I don't want one of
those big Morgans.
I'd like to see some
of those quarter horses
that man was talking about.
Oh, no.
- Where are you going?
- I'll see you later, Daddy.
Carrie, come back here!
I'm a-fixin' to make
a big sale for Wohaw,
so don't you say
nothin', you hear me?
Oh, Festus, you can't do that.
You don't know nothin' about...
Well, this is sure a big
surprise, Miss Ponder, ma'am.
Well, you sounded so convincing,
I thought I'd take a look at
some of your quarter horses.
Well, they ain't actual mine.
Wohaw Simmons runs this
place, and he's went to have dinner.
I'm just kind of his friend.
Well, Big Jim Ponder! I'm
sure glad you dropped by.
The horse is right over yonder.
I got eyes, boy.
Them cutback stump-suckers
ain't my thought of a horse.
Well, then you ain't
no judge like you claim.
Just step over here.
Now, them right
yonder, Mr. Big Jim,
is what you call
purely horseflesh.
I ain't plannin' on eatin' 'em.
Riding's my interest.
Well, you just
step in here then.
Watch the gate, would you?
Don't let the horse get out.
I'm fixin' to show
you a horse here
that'll just fairly
make your eyes bulge
and pop right out of your head.
This here one I'm
fixin' to show you,
she's my very favorite.
(scoffs) What's the
matter with you, boy?
That hammerhead's a he.
Or what passes for one.
Well, uh, a-a good horse
is like a purty woman.
That's the way I see 'em.
Just-just like
Miss Carrie there.
I think you're
quite right, Festus.
And I thank you
for the compliment.
This here's a horse
that'd do anybody proud.
If you don't expect to do
more than a quarter
of a mile with him.
Well, golly Bill, I
sure like your humor.
Now, you may know all there
is to know about Morgan horses,
but this here's a whole
different kind of a...
Wohaw. H-Have you met
up with Mr. Big Jim Ponder
- and Miss Carrie?
- Yes, I met them yesterday.
Howdy, Mr. Ponder. Ma'am.
Your partner here has
got my daughter interested
in one of these
quarters... But I ain't.
They're a lot of horse.
Like I was saying, Miss
Carrie, if I was you or your pa,
I'd-I'd take this
here one right here,
the pick of the whole litter.
WOHAW: He's a good
enough horse, Mr. Ponder,
but, now, here, let me
show you something.
Wohaw, wha...
I know how you feel about
this old horse and everything,
but tradin's tradin'.
Well, I like him,
Daddy, and I want him.
Carrie, if you buy that
critter, you'll take the money
out of your own pocket... And
don't you come crying to me
if it ain't all the
horse he says it is.
Now, wait just a
minute, Big Jim.
I want to tell you something.
This little pony can
run the socks off
of any animule you want to name.
FITCH: Do you say!
Well, do you say!
Big Jim. Uh, Miss Ponder.
I heard you was here.
Now, I'm mighty glad you come,
so you can see the difference
between these... (chuckles)
these puddin' foots
and my Morgans.
You miserable scissorbill!
Well, now, you listen
here, Wohaw Simmons,
- don't you go calling me...
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
They's ladies present.
I, uh, hear you
say that that horse
can, uh, beat any
animal I care to name.
That's what I said.
You wouldn't want to make
a little bet on it, would you?
Well, I ain't rolling
in hard money,
but, uh, I'd bet
you two dollars.
(laughing)
I mean, uh, real money.
I'll wager with
you, Mr. Tallman.
You're not gonna bet, Carrie.
It's my horse.
You ain't bought him yet.
Mr. Simmons, how much?
Well, uh, I hadn't really
thought about it. Uh, that...
CARRIE: How much?
$20 be all right?
(Jim chuckles)
Well, you're an honest
man, I'll say that for you.
That's about what he's worth.
How much would you
care to wager, Mr. Tallman?
JIM: Carrie, you
ain't gonna bet!
How much, Mr. Tallman?
Oh, uh, how's about, uh, $50?
Make it $100.
You got a bet.
Your horse against
any one of mine.
Well, hold... hold on there.
What are you getting
my daughter into?
Oh, it's the surest
money she'll ever see.
Uh, Mr. Ponder, I...
I never like to take
advantage of nobody.
That's a good enough
horse, but he ain't no speeder.
Oh.
Oh, fiddle, that don't
make no difference.
This ain't no skim milk race.
This here's a real race.
Any distance you say, Festus.
Any distance?
Well, supposing we was to
start right here in Dodge City,
and, uh...
and wind up in
Mr. Big Jim's hometown
of Cheyenne, Wyoming?
Oh, now, wait. That's
more than 300 miles.
It's closer to 350.
A man could kill
a horse doing that.
Oh, it might kill some
of them goats of yours,
but it ain't gonna kill any
real horses like them of mine.
I don't like it.
It's-it's too far.
Well, you said any distance.
Now that's my race.
Dodge City to Cheyenne, Wyoming.
Like the sound of it.
Think I'll take
some of that bet.
Oh, well, then it suits me.
Dodge to Cheyenne it is.
I'll bet $1,000
that this hammerhead
will take your Morgan.
You betting against
me, Big Jim? I-I thought...
To make it even
better, whoever wins,
I'll take over his entire stock
at his price. Fair enough?
Fair enough with me.
Well, uh... it's a deal.
JIM: Let's work out the details.
Now, Wohaw, is
this all your stock?
What you seen right there.
Festus, you really
think my horse can win?
Well, if he 'tain't,
I sure did make a
big mistake, didn't we?
(lively piano music
playing, chatter and laugher)
Hello, Kitty.
Oh, Matt. How about a beer?
Fine.
Couple of beers, Sam.
- Well, have you heard the news yet?
- What's that?
There's gonna be a horse
race from here to Cheyenne.
Big Jim Ponder's bet
$1,000 with Fitch Tallman
that he can beat Fitch's Morgan
with one of Wohaw
Simmons' quarter horses.
Well, now, that's quite a bet,
and that's quite a distance.
Festus is gonna ride for Wohaw.
From the way I heard it,
Festus started this whole thing.
Oh, I might have known that.
He doesn't know anything
about horse racing.
When's this race gonna be?
Three weeks. They got to
toughen up the horses first.
Matt, it's the
darndest set of rules
you ever heard in your life.
The race starts at 6:00
on a Monday morning
and ends at 6:00 in the
evening the next Saturday.
- In Cheyenne?
- In Cheyenne.
Well, that's... that's darn
near 60 mile a day to ride.
Ain't never yet seen
a quarter to do it.
You said Big Jim
Ponder's betting on it?
Yeah. But of course now, look,
they won't be riding
all out all the time.
From the way I heard it,
each rider takes along a
helper with a buckboard,
so they'll be making
lots of camp all the way.
Yeah, but even so...
one horse, 350
miles in six days.
(laughs)
I know them Morgans
would be hard to beat,
but... Big Jim ain't no fool.
I lost a pile of money
to him a while back.
I'd sure like to get even.
Jack...
why don't you go
find Fitch Tallman?
Tell him I'd like to see him.
I got a hunch Big Jim might
be holding a dead man's hand.
All right, Mr. Deggers.
But, uh, the race has
already been set up.
Why should there
be another horse?
More excitement,
more benefits all around.
And more insurance.
I got a cinch against
that old pudding foot.
I can't lose.
It's a long way from
here to Cheyenne.
Supposing your Morgan
tripped in a gopher hole?
Well...
Think of the insurance
another entry'd give you.
(liquid pouring)
(laughs) What exactly
you got in mind?
You mount a Morgan for me.
We'll enter it, Jack'll ride it,
and you'll get the purse
no matter which one wins.
- You'll let me keep the purse?
- DEGGERS: Sure.
Sure. I'll make my money
betting against Big Jim Ponder.
Well, that sure
sounds fair enough.
You got yourself a deal.
Okay.
So, when I hear that
Big Jim Ponder's in town,
I... I figure there's
something in the wind.
The only thing windy in
this town is you, Deggers.
What's on your mind?
About this race.
Word I hear is that there's
some betting on who will win.
How'd you like to lay a
little money on with me?
How much?
Ah, we can make it
friendly or worthwhile.
Ain't nothing friendly
between you and me, Deggers.
Name a figure.
$10,000.
You got a bet.
$10,000 the quarter horse
will beat Tallman's Morgan?
Dodge to Cheyenne.
JIM: Right.
I'll get it written down
all legal, Big Jim.
Rules and everything.
You can read it before you sign.
(laughs) You're
doggone right I'll read it.
I'll get it to this afternoon.
Thank you.
That's a pretty big piece
of change, Mr. Ponder.
Well, ain't the money so much,
as I hate losing to Deggers.
You seem pleased enough
to bet with Fitch Tallman
when Festus set up the race.
Listen, Simmons,
that was only $1,000
and to please my daughter.
With Deggers, I got a
reputation to keep up.
Now I'm worried.
- Matthew.
- DILLON: Hello, Festus.
You want to see me, did you?
Yeah, yeah. It's, uh...
it's about this race.
Oh, it's gonna be a
pearl button bangle Billy,
Matthew.
(laughs) Well, it's
one way of looking at it.
Festus, do you know how
much money's bet on this race?
Over $50,000, and it
doesn't even start till Monday.
Well, I heared it
was a heap of money.
(sighs)
Well, not only that,
but there's a lot of talk
going around town
that isn't exactly healthy.
FESTUS: What
kind of talk's that?
Well, that the
race isn't square,
and that you're riding
to lose for gamblers.
Well, that's a dang lie,
Matthew, and you know it is!
I'm a-riding to win.
I know it, Festus.
Best of luck to you.
Much obliged.
Glad you said one
decent thing to me.
Accusing me of cheating. Who...
(door closes)
All right.
Texas Best.
Mm-hmm. $2,000 on Texas Best.
To win?
(laughs) Well, that's
the way I play 'em.
To win.
Uh, who holds the money?
Dodge Bank, that's who.
Armed escort takes it over.
All bets clean and on the table.
- All right.
- Who's next?
Reckon I'll take that Morgan.
Uh, Rattlesnake Joe, huh?
Well, you got the
best horse, mister.
This here's his owner.
Other two ain't got a chance.
Oh. I thought there
were only supposed
to be two horses in this race.
Ah, we got another one entered.
A friend of mine.
Yeah, there's Texas
Best, Rattlesnake Joe
and that critter that ain't got
no name 'cept "Hammerhead."
(laughter)
Well, I think I'd like to see
him before I bet on him.
Well, you just get over
to my stable, mister.
Of course, that, uh,
quarter critter ain't there.
I don't want him giving the
epizootic to the other two.
(laughter)
I heared what you
said, Fitch Tallman,
you gotch-eared mutton-puncher.
It don't make me no never mind
that you and your pal run
another horse in on me.
But this race is private
between you and me.
You want a real
bet? Winner take all?
If my horse beats yours,
I get your stable
and everything's in it.
If yours beats mine,
the same thing goes.
Well, that's a real good
bet, Wohaw. You heard.
You all heard. It's a bet.
(laughing)
Maybe I'll give you a
job sweeping, Wohaw.
(laughter)
All right. Who's next?
You better take an
extra keg of water along.
The weather's been kind of dry.
How's the hammerhead?
(crickets chirping)
That's three times today
you've asked me that
same thing, Big Jim.
I'm asking again.
Well, then, I'll
answer you again.
He's fit as a fiddle
and feeling fine
and just hard as a dang rock.
Evening, Miss Carrie.
Everything all right?
What is that?
My things. I'm riding
the buckboard tomorrow.
No, you ain't. Squatty
Reynolds is driving helper.
You and me's going to
Cheyenne to be in at the finish.
Daddy, it's my horse.
Now, I either go along to help,
or I take my horse
out of the race.
You can't do that, ma'am.
Yes, I can!
Festus, I'm a good cook, and
I can help with lots of things.
Ain't fit for a woman.
You ain't gonna get
much sleep, Miss Carrie.
Well, neither will you.
Now, I don't want to
hear any more arguments.
I'm riding the buckboard.
Well, that being the case,
I reckon you'd
ought to take a squint
at these maps we've drew up.
Now, this here ain't gonna be
no running race, like we said.
It's gonna be slow and easy.
We're gonna lope for a while,
and then walk a little bit, and
jog a little bit, and then stop,
and then walk some more,
and jog some more,
and lope a little more
and like that.
Main thing, we've
got to follow this trail
just the way it's marked here.
The mainest thing is
to make that night camp,
so that old horse'll get
plenty of feed and rest.
You get there first,
you wait for me.
I get there first,
I'll wait for you.
And if I feel like
ol' Hammerhead's
got more left in him,
well, then, I'll
just go ahead on.
And I'll leave word
where I've went.
Now these marks here is
where you'll get new horses.
A fresh team every
day. You understand?
Yes.
Say, you're gonna need a hat.
Oh, here's one of mine.
That sun out there
gets mighty hot.
You go on and get some sleep.
I'll take care of
things for morning.
Festus, tell you, I
admire your guts.
You win this one, there's
500 extra in it for you.
Dollars?
Yeah, dollars.
Well, much obliged
to you, Big Jim.
I'll see you all directly.
(chuckles)
(indistinct chatter)
Put horns them on them Morgans,
you couldn't tell 'em
from bald-faced cattle.
- Uh, we'll see, we'll see.
- That's what you say.
Is it about time, Doc?
Yes, just a minute
now. I'm watching it.
Riders, get ready!
Get set!
(gunshot)
(indistinct shouting)
What happened, Festus?
I don't know. Reckon
I fell off my horse.
- Festus, are you all right?
- Of course I'm all right.
- Well, what are you gonna do?
- Well, I'm fixing to get me
another saddle and get goin'.
You get back on the buckboard.
It won't take me but a minute.
If this is dirty work,
Fitch Tallman did it.
I'm gonna cut out his
heart and feed it to him!
It's been cut.
Tough luck, Festus.
It wasn't luck, Matthew.
- Ha! Get goin'! (shouting)
- (cheering)
Sam, could, uh, we have
a coffeepot over here?
Sure.
You know, Matt, I...
I think this is just
the beginning.
I don't like it at all what
happened to Festus.
- I just don't like the smell of it.
- Why?
Well, I think there's too much
money involved, for one thing.
Well, Doc, I'm gonna
take the train to Cheyenne,
be there for the finish...
I figure that's
about all I can do.
When will you be leaving?
Well, I'm gonna take
the Wednesday train.
That should get
me there in time.
Before you go, you better have
a talk with Wohaw Simmons.
He's-he's about ready to
blow out Tallman's lamp.
I've already talked to him, Doc.
Well, if you hear anything
around, let me know.
Wait a minute.
What chance do you think the
hammerhead's got in this race?
Not much. Why?
I bet five dollars on him.
(chuckles) So did I.
Let's slow down there, boys.
- Whoa now. Let's slow down.
- Why are you slowing down?
Well, ma'am, these old
horses weren't built for speed
like that. Besides, we've
only come ten miles.
We got a fair piece to go
before we change teams.
But we got to catch up
with Festus for the first camp.
(chuckles) Well,
the way he took off,
ma'am, we're
gonna be a mite late.
Now, you wouldn't want this
old team to go lame on you,
would you?
How far behind the
others do you think he is?
Oh, I reckon we lost
about 15 minutes.
But in a six-day race, that
ain't hurting us too much.
I sure hope that Festus
knows what he's a-doin'
whippin' up that old
hammerhead right at the start.
(horse snorts)
♪♪
♪♪
(water splashing)
♪♪
(horse snorts)
Well, if it ain't ol'
Hammerhead, huh?
How's everything?
Oh, fine, fine. Just fine.
Last I saw of Tallman's
Morgans, they were ahead of you.
How far?
Oh, a good ten minutes.
Kind of lathered up, ain't he?
Well, he likes to sweat.
See you again.
Got her done?
- All set.
- Okay.
Much obliged. Hyah!
Giddyup!
Come on. Come on.
Squatty, don't let him get away!
- Well, why don't you help him?
- Well, it ain't my job
to go chasin' the horses,
ma'am. He-He'll catch him. Maybe.
Oh, hold this. I'll get him.
Squatty, don't let him get away!
I ain't!
(shouting indistinctly)
May be enough here
for a swallow or two.
That creek's about dry.
You old scutter you.
For a horse, you
ain't a bad animule.
I ain't saying you'd
stand up beside no mule,
but you sure have did
yourself proud today.
Wished I had some
good feed for ya.
Well, Miss Carrie and
Squatty will be along directly,
and, when they do, I'm
a-fixin' to give you a rubdown
that'll make you feel so good
you'll just want to faunch
and bellow like a bull.
(buckboard approaching)
There they are now.
- Whoa there, boys.
- Where you been?
Oh, Festus, I'm so sorry.
We had nothing but trouble.
That's sure a fact, Festus.
Squatty took the wrong trail,
and we had to go
all the way back.
Well, don't fret now. You get
the feed bag for Hammerhead.
I'll take care of that, Squatty.
You get the wood for the fire.
Yes, ma'am.
- Festus. Festus?
- Here, hold that, will you?
I don't trust that man.
Squatty?
I think he deliberately
tried to get us lost.
I showed him the map, and...
he said he knew a shortcut.
That's how come we're so late.
Oh, don't get picky now.
Squatty's all right.
We-We've made up the time today.
We must've did
pretty near 60 miles.
Soon as we have some
grub, I'm gonna get a few hours
of shut-eye, and I'm
gonna get back at 'em again.
- And you better do the same thing.
- Yes.
Get that grub started 'cause
my backbone's a-snatchin'
at my belt buckle.
Don't forget the feed
bag for Hammerhead.
All right, Festus.
♪♪
- Whoa.
- How you making out?
Fair.
Feeney's still up ahead, is he?
Yep. I figure we lost
a little ground today.
Maybe you're coming up.
Well, I'm doing the best I can.
Good luck to you.
Yeah.
(horses approaching)
The best I could do.
That old skinflint wanted $200.
I finally gave him $150.
Well, you did right
and well, Miss Carrie.
Well, it's better than nothing.
Start getting these
things out of here.
Yes, ma'am.
Sure was lucky we broke
down close to a ranch.
I can't understand
how the wheel came off.
Oh, loose nut. Probably
come off way back yonder.
Hurry up, Squatty. We
got to catch up with Festus.
Yes, ma'am. I'm coming.
I'll be right there.
♪♪
- Whoa there.
- FESTUS: It's about time.
I got me a thirst
that won't quit.
Where'd you get that wagon at?
Buckboard broke down.
Did you hear me? I said
the buckboard broke down.
And Squatty did it.
You're just a-bustin' to
hang up his hide, ain'tcha?
The wheel came
off the buckboard.
And he must have done it,
because I saw the wheel
nut fall out of his pocket.
Ask him.
Squatty?
Miss Carrie there says you had
a accident with the buckboard.
Oh, there sure was, Festus.
But Miss Carrie
wasn't hurt none.
Well, how'd it come about?
Well, lost wheel nut, I guess.
I hate to insult a
man without no proof,
but maybe you ought
to turn your pockets out.
Oh, no, I ain't a-gonna do that.
Why, you dang dumbbell!
He didn't even have the
brains to throw it away.
CARRIE: Festus!
Get up here.
How come you is doing this?
- You working for Fitch Tallman?
- Don't hit me, Festus!
You better talk
to me, or I'm fixin'
to whittle your ears
off... And I mean it!
(panting): Well, he offered
me a hundred dollars
and a... a better job
if I do like he said.
And you've been a-workin' for
Wohaw Simmons for four years.
You sure are a boggy dang yahoo!
Now, you haul tail out of here,
or I'm fixin' to turn you
every way but loose!
And don't you show up in
Dodge, neither, you understand?
Now, get going!
♪♪
Sure am plumb
sorry, Miss Carrie.
I... I ought to have
listened to you.
It's all right, Festus.
We're gonna win anyway.
'Course we will.
Let's get some supper.
♪♪
(horse huffs)
(train whistle blowing)
♪♪
♪♪
CARRIE: What's wrong?
What's wrong?
(screaming)
No! Let go!
(birds chirping)
What do you say, Festus?
I figured you was up ahead.
I... took the wrong
turnoff this morning.
Must have gone about
ten miles out of my way.
- You quittin'?
- No, not on your old tintype.
I'm a-waiting for my wagon.
You got a long wait... we
passed it a couple miles back.
- Broke down?
- Don't know.
- Nobody around it, that's for sure.
- Festus!
Wait a minute, no
cause to get worried.
Well, not for you, there ain't!
Aw, nobody's gonna hurt
that gal, that's for sure.
And how do you know that?
What else do you know?
I-I'm just figuring, that's all.
I mean, well, now, take it easy.
Well, if the girl
doesn't show up,
maybe somebody's telling you
that if you drop out of the race
then... nobody gets hurt.
Are you working for
Fitch Tallman, too?
(chuckles): Never heard of him.
DILLON: Hold it!
All right, that's enough.
All right, take
the gun belt off.
Well, this feller jumped us.
We was just taking care of him.
Yeah, I know.
- Where is she?
- She? Who?
The girl that's
gonna get you hung
if anything's happened to her.
Wait a minute, we didn't
have nothin' to do with that.
No. We just did as we were told.
They didn't want this fella
to win the race, that's all.
Deggers?
We didn't take the girl.
- No, it was two other boys, I swear.
- Where is she now?
At a line check.
About a mile off the road.
You can see it from
the rise of the hill.
Get over there.
Festus... how are you?
I have felt a
heap better, but...
All right, we're gonna
ride up to that shack.
Suppose they start shooting.
Then you're gonna get shot at.
How come you here, Matthew?
Well, I heard Deggers
was trying to do
everything he could to keep
you from winning this race,
so I got on a train
and went to Cheyenne
and came back this
way looking for you.
You see Rattlesnake Joe?
Yeah, he's only about
three miles ahead of you.
We gotta get Miss Carrie.
Well, now, wait a minute.
I'll take care of that.
You may need some help.
Festus, there's a lot of money
ridin' on you in this race.
If you're a mind to finish it,
I think that's what
you ought to do.
Reckon so, but...
I ain't got no feed for
the horse nor nothing.
You just take what you
need right off of here.
I'll catch up with
you as soon as I can.
You've only got 20
miles to Cheyenne.
Yeah.
All right.
Get up there.
Rattlesnake Joe's gone by.
He's got five minutes on you.
Much obliged! How far to go?
About five miles.
Come on, men, let's go to town.
♪♪
- See you in town!
- I'll be there!
They're on your tail, partner.
The old quarter's
coming up fast.
Thanks!
(gunshots)
(gunfire continues)
They're coming,
about a mile out!
- Who's ahead?
- The Morgan.
- (laughing)
- The quarter's right behind him.
I knowed he'd
do it! I knowed it.
He's still got a chance!
(gunshots)
FESTUS: Move over, boy!
I'm gonna show you how
the cow eat the cabbage!
(spectators whooping)
(spectators cheering)
(gunshots)
(cheering)
Festus! Ha!
(laughing)
We got it! Ha!
(gunshots)
That's the greatest horse ever!
(cheering, whooping)
That's the greatest...!
(excited shouting)
(Festus speaking indistinctly)
FESTUS: Carrie! Carrie...
- Who won? Who won?
- FESTUS: We won!
- (Carrie shrieks)
- We did, we did!
Old Hammerhead did!
- (shrieking)
- Darn right he did!
You all right?
Oh, yes! Yes!
There ain't no need
to cry. We won.
(Carrie laughs)
I know, I'm so happy.
(Festus laughs)
Here, you got a big smudge
on your nose and everything.
- I'll get it.
- (laughs)
You will come back and see
us sometime, won't you, Festus?
I just can't tell, Miss Carrie.
I... I might do that.
Anytime, boy.
Anytime.
I'm sorry to see you go, Festus.
Well, I'd purely admire
to stay for a spell,
but, uh, plain truth is I
just ain't man enough
to put up with no more
of your pa's celebrating.
(laughs)
A little hurrah
never hurt anybody.
Besides, a man don't
win a race like that
every day.
No, sir, I reckon he don't.
We kind of dogged it around
last night, didn't we, boy?
Oh, we sure did.
Cheyenne knows
we was here, all right.
Thank you again for
everything, Festus.
You're welcome, Miss Carrie.
And you take good
care of ol' Hammerhead.
She ain't no mule,
but she sure is a
lot of horse, ain't he?
She sure is, Festus.
Say, uh, Festus, uh...
I think the stage is waiting.
So long.
Hey, Festus, you sure you
want to come back with us?
Looks like you might be
better off staying right here.
I'll study about it all
the way back, Matthew.
Hyah!