Growing Pains (1985–1992): Season 3, Episode 17 - The Mom Who Knew Too Much - full transcript

Carol (TRACEY GOLD) is furious with Maggie (JOANNA KERNS) after she tells Jason (ALAN THICKE) one of Carol's most intimate secrets.

Mike: Ben, do you have to suck you cereal like that?

Ben: No.

Jason: Ben, don't drink out of a bowl.

Ben: It was Mike's idea.

Jason: We have to finish the breakfast soon.We have a lot of chores to do today.

Mike: Dad, it's Saturday, when today is my date on one of all the hard work from in school.

Jason: Well, it hurt you to help me and little Ben?

Ben: Sorry, Dad, I am tied up today.

Jason: Excuse me?

Ben: You always say I should make better use of my time, so I drew up a schedule.

Jason: Ben Seaver, Saturday morning: watch Cartoon; noon time: eat lunch; afternoon: play Video games; late afternoon: light snack.



Ben: Nothing heavy.

Mike: since Ben has absolutely nothing to do you can say, then he can help you with the chores.

Jason: then what exactly do you ever plan?

Mike: um...Well, I wasn't going to tell you dad, I guess I have to.I'm taking some orphans out for burgers.

Jason: Forget it, Mike.

Mike: Oh, fine, fine, just break the little kids' hearts.

Jason: All right, well, we can begin with the not favorite, scrubbing out the garage.

Ben: Even I didn't buy the orphan bid, Mike.

Carol: Hi.

Jason: well, Good morning, Carol, don't you look sheik today.

Carol: Thanks.

Mike: Hey, just perfect for helping out the garage today.

Carol: ah, I love to do my share, but the thing is I cannot.

Mike: Well, dad, do you want to have her a lesson or shall I?



Jason: well, we do have to do our job around house today, Carol.

Carol: Dad, I'd love to do my share, but the thing is Mom is in wonderful moods where she says for turning into strangers.So she has a whole day planned, shopping, lunch and even a visit to her hair salon.

Jason: But today is a scheduled Seavor chore day, Carol.

Carol: well, Mom got inspired from watching you bounce with Mike and Ben.

Mike: Good, that's it?You get carol off all the junk work.

Jason: Mike, I think it is a very important opportunity here for your sister and your mother just to spend some fun time to get bonding; it's good for their relationship.

Ben: Can't be bonded while scrubbing the greasy things in the garage?

Carol: You are right; it's unfair if up to me.I'll be here slaving away with guys, but how can I break mom's heart, right?

Maggie: Good morning.Got to get your coat, we've got a lot of grand cover today.

Carol: I do have the feeling that you are going to exhaust me.

Maggie: Always that cute.I had so many things that I need to get down today, but carol's feeling like we are turning into strangers, and how can I break her heart?

Jason: it's nice, but I wish you've told me, you know we had agreed that today would be a Seavor chore day.

Maggie: We did?Oh, I am sorry, it slipped my mind.You are right.I'll cancel my appointment with the salon.

Jason: Good.

Maggie: well, darling, if I cancel this late, I'm going to have to pay anyway.And it's so expensive.

Jason: Knew, knew, knew.You just go ahead then.

Ben: Guys, we've been had.

Carol: Mom, I promise to pay you back for the stylish dress.

Maggie: oh, it's ok, just promise you'll never wear it in the public.Sweet heart, I have enjoyed every minute of today.

Carol: Me too, especially I've looked on Mike, Ben, and Dad's face only keep there on Chore Day.

Maggie: That's not nice.

Maggie: Really like to stare at your dad's knew knew knew.You will never tell your father I was laughing.

Carol: I won't, I promise.

Hairdresser Rodney: hey, who these two good looking brown ladies are?

Maggie: Oh, Rodney.Hi.

Rodney: Maggie, When are you gonna elope off with me, ah?I mean Ba Bun Ba Ben Ba Bei in the open road.What do you say?

Maggie: After you do my hair.

Carol: Mom?

Rodney: mom?Well, you told me you had a daughter.But this is a full grown woman with the face in the curves in the whole thing.Wow.

Carol: Rodney.Hi...

Rodney: aha...Who has been doing your hair, er?

Carol: A girl named Brenda.

Rodney: look, from now on, nobody, but nobody could touch this head but me.You got that?

Carol: Yeah.

Rodney: Ba Bei.

Rodney: Maggie, How about this visit?You take a walk on a while side like that.

Maggie: Oh, Well, I don't know.

Rodney: You tell me that is extremely hot.

Maggie: Carol, what do you think?

Carol: About what?

Maggie: My hair.You think I should try to put loose?

Carol: Oh, You asking me?

Maggie: Yes.

Carol: oh, dear.

Rodney: Carol, you tell her how delicious it will look

Carol: Well, when it's proverbially scrumptious.

Rodney: see.Yummy.

Maggie: Oh, do you think so, Carol?

Rodney: She knows where are she speaks.I will be back in 5.

Carol: Mom, Rodney is flirting with you.

Maggie: Well, yes.

Carol: You know it?

Maggie: Of course.

Carol: But, you are a mother.

Maggie: Carol, it does happen occasionally.

Carol: you are kidding.When?

Maggie: Carol, this is silly.

Carol: Well, No, it's not.I want to hear all about it.

Maggie: You mean you want to hear about every time some guys innocently flirt with me?

Carol: Yeah, I want to hear everything, every juicy disgusting detail.

Maggie: there is nothing disgusting to tell.

Carol: That's what I'll tell Dad if he ever asks.So finish your salty story.

Maggie: What I have got to left off?

Carol: Dustin Hofmann is coming on to you.

Maggie: well, I didn't exactly say he is coming on to me.You see, he was promoting the midnight cowboy at this press conference.Just years ago when I was working with news weekly.

Carol: Dustin Hofmann?

Maggie: I was sitting at the back accredited for reporters, waiting for him, when I have to go the bathroom.So out on the hallway, who do I run into?Face to face.

Carol: Dustin Hofmann

Maggie: Yes, he looked right at me and said:" is it the way to the press conference?"

Carol: And?

Maggie: And what?

Carol: And that's all he said?

Maggie: Or what else could he say?We were in office hallway for ......

Carol: Mom, that's not much of a story.

Maggie: Yeah, but it's all mine

Waiter: Hey, all ladies.

Maggie: thanks.

Waiter: The juice is for the kid.

Carol: We got it

Waiter: Enjoy it.

Carol: I mean, mom, I have been expecting something really sleazy.

Maggie: Sleazy?

Carol: Yeah You know, like John Carlen's kinds of stuff.I mean, don't you have something that you never told anyone, something you'll be keeping for all these years?

Maggie: Sure, everybody does.

Carol: Oh, tell me, ok?

Maggie: Carol.

Carol: Mom, it's just between us, cross my heart.

Maggie: You know, from you were a baby, I used to imagine a day when you and I will be treating secrets like sisters.

Carol: I hope that's not your secret.

Maggie: Oh, no.ok.For your ears only.

Carol: Of course.

Maggie: 2 years ago, at that neighborhood picnic, Butt Koosman tried to kiss me at the back porch.

Carol: Wow.What happened?

Maggie: I told him to behave himself.And he got very embarrassed.And he apologized and begged me not to tell your father and then he threw up.

Carol: Did you tell dad?

Maggie: No, there is no reason to get your father upset.And you promise never to say a word.

Carol: Oh, I won't.

Maggie: Ok, it's your turn to show your secrets.

Carol: Remember the Saturday night, last month, when Debbie, Shelley and I went to the library, and then we spent the night at the Debbie's house.

Maggie: Yeah.

Carol: oh, we didn't study at all.

Maggie: Yeah?

Carol: Instead, we took the train into Manhattan, we went to this Dance club SOHO.

Maggie: Yeah?

Maggie: Greased?

Carol: I slipped him 20 dollars to let us in.We zag zig or what.Oh, so great.We danced to 4 in the morning with these guys who didn't even speak English.And then we took the train back and snug into her room on sound sleep before her parents ever woke up.Until this day, no one is any little awareness.

Jason: he is here

Ben: Go go go.Oh, come on, yeah.

Commentator: ten......It's over.

Jason: that's the game.

Ben: You both owe me 50 bucks.

Jason: Cents, Ben.50 cents.

Ben: There's no reason be so excited.

Carol: Mom, what a crazy day we have!Hey, what happened on the Seavor's Chore Day?

Ben: What's it that kept your head, carol?

Carol: Thanks.

Jason: I don't like it.Maggie?

Mike: Hello?No, sorry, Shelley, Carol can talk.She has just got out of a wind tunnel.

Carol: Mike, I'll take it upstairs.Be sure to hang it up.

Mike: Oh, I do it right now.

Maggie: Jason, we need to talk.

Jason: Oh, I am sorry, honey, your hair looks great too.So you chose to be showing this much neck in front of children?

Maggie: Cute.

Jason: I thought so.

Ben: What you'll do this time?

Mike: Nothing, I am sitting here with you.

Jason: In SOHO?

Maggie: Yes.

Jason: Alone?

Maggie: Yes.

Jason: In some city bar?

Maggie: Greasing ports and dance with men who even don't speak English.

Jason: well, I've got to talk to her.

Maggie: Oh, Jason, You cannot.I promised her I never tell anyone when she told me.

Jason: Well, you told me.

Maggie: But only after you promised never tell Carol what I told you.

Jason: So am I supposed to do is to just keep my mouth shut and do nothing?

Maggie: That's right.

Jason: But we cannot let Carol get away with that.

Maggie: Jason, if Carol knows that I told you, she will never speak to me again.Look, you are the one who always said that we should communicate with our kids be open and honest to speak in the same language.

Jason: That's not the case that my teenager daughter is dancing with guys who speak another language.

Carol: Excuse me

Maggie: What is it?

Carol: Is it the bad time?

Maggie: No, carol, what is it?

Carol: If it's all right, can I go over to Shelley's house to show my new hairdo锛?

Jason: Over to Shelley?

Maggie: I think that would be just fine.Don't you, Jason, he promised.

Jason: Ok.

Carol: Oh, great, I will see you then.Oh, I might spend the night too.

Jason: spend the night?Like you did when you took the little trip to SOHO?

Carol: You told dad?

Maggie: Well.

Jason: Of course, she told me.I am your father.

Carol: But it was our secret.

Jason: Oh, but your mother realized that I have the right to know.

Carol: I think I trusted you.

Jason: Well, she has got to learn that sometime that it's necessary to break a confidence.Honey?

Maggie: Carol, wait.

Carol: What?

Maggie: I want to explain.

Carol: There is nothing left to explain.It's my fault.I should never have treated you as my equal.

Maggie: Carol, if you are going to take that tone, just go to your room.

Carol: Fine, and you said that you dreamed a date on that we'll be treating secrecy like sisters.Hah!

Maggie: Carol, that's not fair.

Carol: Mom, how would you think about if I told dad about the Butts Koosman, or even the Dustin Hoffmann's affairs, ha?

Jason: What?Maggie, I don't....

Maggie: Jason, I know you have good reasons to do you did.But I am not in the mood to hear it right now.

Jason: Fine, fine.

Mike: How's going?Well, this is big I can feel it.

Ben: Yeah, it is daymare.

Mike: Do stop saying that?

Ben: Ok.Who is Hoffmann anyway?

Mike: Some actor guy who is in a movie who is dressed like a chick and kiss some guy.

Ben: He was more showy than I thought.

Maggie: Excuse me.

Jason: Excuse me.

Maggie: Not today

Jason: Maggie, I know you are upset.I know you also understand my responsibility as parent supersedes my obligation to keep confidence.

Maggie: Of course I do

Jason: Well, good, and this is progress.

Maggie: And I know that you understand your handling the situation was completely .......

Jason: Ok, I am sorry, I am sorry.My emotions got the best of me.I am sure you can understand that.

Maggie: I certainly can

Jason: Good.

Maggie: Because right now, my emotions have the best of me.Mike, Carol, Ben, Dinner.....

Ben: It's about the time.

Maggie: Mike, why aren't you eating?

Mike: oh, no reason.

Ben: He is scared that you guys are going to find out that he is behind the all these trouble.

Jason: Ben, it doesn't concern Mike.

Mike: Say, I told you.

Ben: That's me that will get you later.

Carol: I sit, but I won't eat.Mother

Maggie: Mother?She called me mother.

Jason: Maggie, she doesn't mean that.

Maggie: So she is not the only person at the table who says things they don't mean?

Jason: Ok, I think it's the time we have a family talk about this.

Mike: I should go.

Carol: Don't worry, Mike.I am the one who is going to be grounded.

Mike: I should stay.

Jason: Mike, it doesn't concern you.

Mike: Well, you said we should have a family talk.I believe I am part of the family.

Maggie: Leave, Mike.And take Ben with you.

Ben: Good goal, Mike, you just keep me kicked out of the family too.

Jason: What we need to talk about is why your mother had the right er...What we need to talk about is why your mother had the right to tell me what you did, and why I had the right to act on that information.

Mike: Ha ha ha Excuse me.Just be one hundred percent clear that this thing has nothing to do with me, whatsoever?

Jason: Get out, Mike

Carol: May I be excused too?

Maggie: That's right.

Carol: No, not when you promised not to.

Jason: What your father is saying is that sweet heart, we are the parents.

Jason: Yes.

Maggie: We were responsible for you.

Jason: Yes

Maggie: It'll be a different matter, say if your father violates my confidence.

Jason: Exactly, oh, no

Maggie: Yes.

Jason: no

Maggie: Yes.

Carol: I am busy.

Jason: Carol, it's your father.I want to apologize for grounding you.Make I treat you unfairly, make it up to you, I want to buy you a new car.

Carol: Oh, Come in, come in.

Jason: I was lying.I am not really here to apologize at all.

Carol: What about the new car?

Jason: Also a lie.

Jason: I just want you to feel only for a moment what was like when somebody you trust lies to you.

Carol: What about used car?

Jason: Carol, I am talking about the lie you told about spending the night at Debbie's.

Carol: Like mom has lied to me.

Jason: it's just you won't get off these things about your mom telling me what you did, will you?

Carol: I just know that mom will be real mad if I told you even a hint of those disgusting things she told me about.

Jason: Ha.....that's different.What did she say?No, no, don't mind.I am not interested.What even you're right for me to know?

Carol: What's wrong?

Jason: Oh, nothing.

Carol: Dad, you are paining.

Jason: No, no, I am fine, I am great.

Carol: No, you are not.

Jason: I am fine, I just don't want anybody to know it.

Carol: Dad, I promise that I won't say a word.

Jason: Well, there is a chance, a chance of developing an ulcer.

Carol: Serious?

Jason: Well, it could be if I get agitated or upset.

Carol: Well, Mike is just going to move out.

Jason: It's very funny that.

Carol: Dad?

Jason: We are going to talk more about this later.I am just going to lay in office for a rest.

Carol: Oh, no.

Jason: If there is any justice at all, I should get an Ammi for that.

Carol: Mom.

Maggie: Carol.

Carol& Maggie: I need to talk to you.

Carol& Maggie: You first.

Carol& Maggie: All right.

Carol& Maggie: After you.

Maggie: Oh, honey, I am sorry.I broke my word to you and told your father...

Carol: Mom, I don't care about that.

Maggie: You don't?

Carol: No.Have you seen dad?He is in pain.

Maggie: He was always like that when we have been in a fight.

Carol: No, he is in pain.He told me.

Maggie: What?

Carol: It's an ulcer.He didn't want to worry you.

Maggie: Jason, Rolando Seavor.

Carol: He is in his office.

Ben: It's getting closer, Mike.

Mike: What?

Ben: The end of the world?

Maggie: Jason, Why didn't you tell me?

Jason: 4 minutes 15 seconds, not bad.

Maggie: What?

Jason: Oh, I thought, somebody else should be included in this conversation.Well, Carol.

Carol: Dad, I don't care if you get mad or not.

Maggie: Jason, What is this about?The ulcer?

Jason: Carol, Your mother seems to know the thing only you and I are supposed to know.How could this be?

Carol: What we worry about is how's your seemingly, dad.

Jason: Run-down.

Maggie: It doesn't matter about how I found out this ulcer business.

Jason: But it does matter.

Carol: Dad, mom had the right to know.

Jason: So it's ok to violate confidence?

Carol: that's not the point, the point is that we are worried about you.That's more important.

Maggie: That's right.

Jason: Oh......!!

Jason: Well, I am sure you two have things to talk about.Even If you don't, I am leaving now before you throw something at me.

Jason: I hate what he does that.

Carol: Me too.

Maggie: He gets so smug."Oh, but it does matter."

Carol: I don't want to laugh, I am still mad at you.

Maggie: I am sorry, sweetheart.I am sorry that I told your father.But what choice did I have?I am your mother.

Carol: Yeah, I should remember that before I open my mouth.I think what I could have told you.

Maggie: Carol?

Carol: You are right.

Maggie: We did have a funny day.

Carol: Yeah, the shame is we will never be able to talk like that again.

Maggie: oh, Shall we?Well, Sweetheart?When you get a little bit older, say when you are in college maybe you live in a cold dorm.On the other hand, college is such a noisy crazy drive of period, I know.After college, when you move into your first apartment, well, you can make lunch and you tell me all the men you are dating will be crazy.After you are married...

Carol: What?

Maggie: And have babies.

Carol: Baby?

Maggie: Maybe two.Honey, we have so much in common.We'll have a real woman to woman bargaining.And when you come home for Xmas, we can sit by the fire, chat, have the grandchildren and put them to bed.

Carol: Are these your grandchildren or mine?
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