Growing Pains (1985–1992): Season 1, Episode 10 - Dirt Bike - full transcript

♪ SHOW ME THAT SMILE AGAIN ♪

♪ DON'T WASTE ANOTHER
MINUTE ON YOUR CRYIN' ♪

♪ WE'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE END ♪

♪ THE BEST IS READY TO BEGIN ♪

♪ AS LONG AS WE GOT EACH OTHER ♪

♪ WE GOT THE WORLD
SPINNIN' RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ♪

♪ BABY YOU AND ME ♪

♪ WE GOTTA BE ♪

♪ THE LUCKIEST DREAMERS
WHO NEVER QUIT DREAMIN' ♪

♪ AS LONG AS WE KEEP ON GIVIN' ♪

♪ WE CAN TAKE ANYTHING
THAT COMES OUR WAY ♪



♪ BABY, RAIN OR SHINE ♪

♪ ALL THE TIME ♪

♪ WE GOT EACH OTHER ♪

♪ SHARIN' THE
LAUGHTER AND LOVE ♪

MAIL'S HERE.

TELEPHONE BILL, LETTER
FROM YOUR MOTHER. MMM-HMM.

"SIMONE'S OF SYOSSET,
SEXY SLEEPWEAR."

HMM.

I WONDER HOW WE GOT THIS.

I DON'T KNOW.

COULD IT BE BECAUSE IT'S
ADDRESSED TO A DR. JASON SEAVER?

IS IT NOW? MMM-HMM.

YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN
GETTING THIS DARN JUNK MAIL

EVER SINCE I SENT AWAY FOR
SLIM WHITMAN'S GREATEST HITS.



MMM-HMM.

"THE WINTER CATALOG."

JASON, A WOMAN COULD
FREEZE IN AN OUTFIT LIKE THIS.

IT'D KEEP ME WARM.

OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

"SEAMLESS, STRAPLESS,
OH, SEE-THROUGH...

"BLUEBERRY, RASPBERRY,

TRAIL MIX"?

WELL, WHO SAYS YOU CAN'T EAT
WELL AND HAVE A LITTLE FUN, TOO?

NOT ME!

WHAT YOU READING, MOM?

OH, OH, JUST THIS DIET MAGAZINE

WE GOT IN THE MAIL.
IT'S, UH, GARBAGE.

MOM, DAD, HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS!

WE HAVE GOT A SPECKLED
CHICKADEE OUT BY THE GARAGE.

SO?

"SO?" GOOD GOD, WOMAN!

DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT
THE SPECKLED CHICKADEE

IS ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY INDIGENOUS
TO THE LOWER ADIRONDACK VALLEY?

WE HAVE GOT A FREAK
OF NATURE OUT THERE.

WE'VE GOT A FREAK OF
NATURE IN HERE, TOO.

GEE, MIKE, I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU
WERE SUCH A WOODSY KIND OF GUY.

UH, ME? HECK, YEAH.

I MEAN, SOMETIMES I FEEL
MORE AT HOME OUTDOORS

THAN I DO IN MY OWN BEDROOM.

THAT'S BECAUSE
OUTDOORS IS CLEANER.

NO, I'M SERIOUS, DAD. I MEAN,

NATURE'S ALWAYS BEEN
A GREAT RELEASE FOR ME

FROM THE PRESSURES
OF SUBURBAN LIFE.

AND THAT'S WHY WHAT YOU WANT...

IS TO GO CAMPING
WITH JIMMY AND BONER

AND BONER'S OLDER
BROTHER, MITCH.

HE'S THE MOST MATURE GUY
IN THE WHOLE HIGH SCHOOL.

HE OUGHT TO BE. HE'S 21.

SO, MIKE, WHAT DO YOU AND YOUR
FRIENDS PLAN TO DO ALL WEEKEND?

BREATHE FREE, MOM.

AND ONCE YOU GET THE HANG
OF THAT, THEN WHAT HAPPENS?

THEN, THE USUAL.

A LITTLE FISHING,
HIKING, DIRT BIKING,

BIRD WATCHING. STUFF LIKE THAT.

WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT
WAS THAT RIGHT BEFORE BIRD WATCHING?

DIRT BIKING.

DIRT BIKING. I SAID
DIRT BIKING, OK?

OH?

JASON, MAY I HAVE A WORD
WITH YOU IN THE LIVING ROOM?

WHAT?

SHE SAID, "MAY I HAVE A WORD
WITH YOU IN THE LIVING ROOM?"

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

WELL, HERE WE ARE
IN THE LIVING ROOM

TO DISCUSS MIKE DIRT BIKING.

COME ON, JASON. I
THINK IT'S IMPORTANT

THAT WE PRESENT A
UNIFIED FRONT TO THE KIDS.

I WISH I KNEW WHAT
THEY WERE SAYING.

I KNOW WHAT THEY'RE SAYING.

"WE'VE GOT TO PRESENT A
UNIFIED FRONT TO THE KIDS."

AND DAD IS SAYING,
"COME ON, MAGGIE.

"I KNOW MIKE'S
SCREWED UP BEFORE,

BUT WE CAN'T RAISE
THE KID IN A BUBBLE."

AND MOM IS SAYING,
"I DON'T SEE WHY NOT.

IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S NEVER
BEEN DONE BEFORE."

AND DAD IS SAYING, "MAGGIE,
YOU'RE OVERREACTING."

I AM NOT OVERREACTING.

I JUST DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM
GET HIMSELF KILLED UP THERE.

OH, HONEY, HE COULD
GET KILLED RIGHT HERE.

HE COULD FALL DOWN THE STAIRS,
HE COULD DROWN IN THE TUB.

HE COULD CHOKE ON
MY PASTRAMI SURPRISE.

WELL, THAT DOES IT. TOMORROW,
WE'RE GONNA GET THAT KID A BUBBLE.

COME ON, WHO'S KIDDING WHO? I
MEAN, THEY'RE NOT GONNA LET ME

GO CAMPING 'CAUSE IT'S FUN.

MIKE? I KNOW, I KNOW,

YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE ANY FUN, SO
YOU DON'T WANT ME TO HAVE ANY FUN.

MIKE, THEY DIDN'T
WANT TO HAVE YOU.

MIKE, WE DECIDED TO
LET YOU GO CAMPING.

I CAN? ALL RIGHT!

VROOM, VROOM!

BUT YOU CAN'T GO DIRT BIKING.

I CAN'T GO DIRT BIKING?

DAD, WHAT DOES SHE
MEAN, I CAN'T GO DIRT BIKING?

WELL, MY INTERPRETATION
WOULD BE YOU CAN'T GO DIRT BIKING.

I KNEW YOU GUYS DIDN'T
WANT ME TO HAVE ANY FUN.

MIKE, IT'S NOT A
QUESTION OF FUN.

IT'S A QUESTION OF DEATH.

BUT, MOM, I COULD GET
KILLED RIGHT HERE AT HOME.

WELL, FRANKLY, YOUR
MOTHER AND I DISCUSSED THAT,

AND WE'D PREFER IT THAT WAY.

ALL RIGHT. I DON'T
BELIEVE YOU GUYS.

HEY, MIKE, THERE'S SOMETHING
YOU OUGHT TO CONSIDER HERE.

WE DON'T HAVE TO
LET YOU GO AT ALL!

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN,
THE DREAM CHANGES.

I'M IN THE BATHROOM
BRUSHING MY TEETH.

AND THEN, THEY'RE
NOT MY TEETH ANYMORE.

AND IT'S NOT MY FACE.

IT GETS ALL UGLY AND WEIRD.

IT'S EITHER THE
ELEPHANT MAN OR MIKE!

AND THEN?

UH, THIS PART
GETS A LITTLE FUZZY.

BEN, I PAID YOU AT THE
BEGINNING OF THIS DREAM.

BUT THIS ONE'S EXTRA LONG.

LOOK, I'M A POOR STUDENT
WORKING ON A PAPER.

OK, BUT FROM NOW ON, IT'S 50
CENTS PER DREAM, UP FRONT,

NO MATTER WHAT THE LENGTH.

AH!

IT'S CLEAR NOW.

IT IS MIKE. I'VE
TURNED INTO MIKE!

I'M BEATING MYSELF UP.

MY LIFE IS WASTED, BUT
I'M TOO STUPID TO KNOW IT!

FASCINATING.

AND THEN I WAKE UP.

SO, DID YOU HAVE ANY
OTHER DREAMS LAST NIGHT?

NO, THAT WAS THE ONLY ONE.

BUT, BEN, I NEED MORE
MATERIAL TO ANALYZE.

CAROL, IT'S THE
MIDDLE OF THE DAY.

I CAN'T JUST FALL ASLEEP. I
NEED SOMETHING TO RELAX ME,

TO GET ME IN THE MOOD.

SUDDENLY, I'M GETTING DROWSY.

HELLO.

OH, JASON, I WANT
YOU TO SEE SOMETHING.

THE SIMONE'S CATALOG. MMM-HMM.

I THOUGHT YOU THREW THAT AWAY.

OH, I DID. BUT SOMEHOW, IT
FOUND ITS WAY BACK HOME.

WELL, MAYBE SOME GOOD SAMARITAN

PASSING BY SAW IT FALL
OUT OF THE GARBAGE,

NOTICED THE ADDRESS,
AND RETURNED IT.

AND TAPED IT BACK TOGETHER?

A VERY GOOD SAMARITAN.

AND SLIPPED IT INTO
MY LINGERIE DRAWER?

POSSIBLY A GREAT SAMARITAN.

JASON,

SOMETHING TELLS
ME THAT YOU'D LIKE

TO SEE ME IN ONE
OF THOSE OUTFITS.

NO. UH, NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT?

I'M NOT THAT KIND OF GUY.

OH, OF COURSE NOT, JASON.

BUT IF YOU HAD TO BE THAT KIND
OF GUY, I MEAN, LET'S JUST SAY,

LET'S JUST SAY, THERE WAS A GUN AT
YOUR HEAD, WHICH ONE WOULD YOU PICK?

NAH, MAGGIE, I DIDN'T EVEN...

PAGE 17, ITEM 2693,

WITH THE WHISTLE.

OH, THE WHISTLE.

JUST OFF THE TOP
OF MY HEAD. UH-HUH.

"CALL OF THE WILD"?

IN PINK.

BOY, BEN HAD THE WEIRDEST DREAM.

I THINK HE'S GOT SOME
DEEP-ROOTED ANXIETIES TOWARD MIKE.

WHO DOESN'T?

I WISH I DIDN'T.

MAGGIE.

OH, JASON, HE'S OUT THERE IN
THE WILDERNESS, WITH BONER.

DID WE MAKE A MISTAKE?

MAYBE.

15 YEARS AGO. BUT WE AGREED NOT
TO WORRY ABOUT IT THIS WEEKEND.

I KNOW. I JUST HOPE HE'S OK.

"'I WANT YOU, JO
ANNE. I NEED YOU

"'BECAUSE I'M A
MAN, ' HE SNORTED.

"'AND SO AT LAST,
FINALLY, I MEAN NOW,

I GET TO REALIZE MY DREAM.'"

WHICH IS?

"TO BE CONTINUED IN
NEXT MONTH'S ISSUE."

OH, GREAT!

THIS THING DOESN'T
EVEN HAVE A CENTERFOLD.

WAY TO GO, BONER.

PHEW.

YOU'RE UP, SEAVER.

UH, LOOK, MITCH, I TOLD YOU, I DIRT
BIKED MY BRAINS OUT LAST SUMMER

AND I'M KIND OF BURNED
OUT ON THE EXPERIENCE.

WAIT A MINUTE, SEAVER.
DIDN'T YOU TELL ME LAST WEEK

THAT YOU'D NEVER
TRIED ONE OF THESE?

YEAH, ONE OF THESE.

I MEAN, THIS THE OSHIMA 705.

NOW, I'VE TRIED THE 702, 703,
704, AND ALMOST EVERYTHING ELSE.

OSHIMA DON'T MAKE A 704, SEAVER.

YEAH, BECAUSE WHEN I
TESTED THE PROTOTYPE,

I TOLD THEM IT WAS
A PIECE OF GARBAGE.

YOU'RE NOT AFRAID OF
THE 705, ARE YOU, MIKEY?

HEY, LOOK, GUYS, I'M
JUST NOT SUPPOSED TO.

WHO SAYS? YOUR MOMMY?

NO, NOT MY MOMMY.

"MY MOMMY." THE JOKES DON'T
STOP COMING WITH YOU GUYS,

DO THEY?

WELL, YOU SEE, THE FACT IS

THAT, WELL, SEVERAL PROMINENT
DOCTORS HAVE ADVISED

THAT BREAKING ANY MORE BONES

COULD KIND OF RUIN MY
CHANCES OF TURNING PRO.

I DIDN'T KNOW THEY HAD
PROFESSIONAL WUSSES.

HEY, I'M NOT A WUSS, OK?

NO, NO, NO, NO. HE'S NOT A WUSS.

HE JUST DOES A GOOD
IMITATION OF ONE.

KNOCK IT OFF!

MIKEY'S MAD.

GIVE ME THE BIKE.
JUST GIVE ME THE BIKE.

I'M NOT DOING ANY STUNTS.

LOOK AT HIM GO.

WOW! I DIDN'T
REALIZE THOSE THINGS

COULD GO THROUGH
A BUSH LIKE THAT.

NOW HE'S GOT HIS ELBOWS
WRAPPED AROUND THE HANDLEBARS.

LOOK, HE'S HANGING
FROM THE TAIL PIPE!

AND HE SAID HE WASN'T
GONNA DO ANY STUNTS.

HOLY COW!

I COULDN'T FIND HIM ANYWHERE.

YOU DON'T THINK HE WENT
OVER THE CLIFF, DO YOU?

WELL, IF HE DID, THAT
MEANS MORE RIBS FOR US.

HEY, GUYS. HOW'S IT GOING?

GEE, SEAVER. WE THOUGHT
YOU BOUGHT IT UP THERE.

UH, YOU MEAN MY TRICK DISMOUNT?

YOU MEAN, YOU EXPECT US TO
BELIEVE THAT YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE?

YEAH. OF COURSE, I DO. LOOK,

YOU'RE MY FRIENDS.
YOU'RE NOT ALL THAT BRIGHT.

WHOA!

LOOK AT THE BACK OF HIS PANTS.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH
THE BACK OF MY PANTS?

THEY'RE NOT THERE.

WE BETTER GO HOME
AND GET HIM TO A DOCTOR.

NO, NO, MAN. LOOK,
I'M FINE, REALLY.

I JUST NEED TO SIT
DOWN FOR A MINUTE.

MAY I HAVE YOUR NAME AGAIN, SIR?

UH, McMANUS.
BARTHOLOMEW McMANUS.

WELL, BARTHOLOMEW...

JU-JUST CALL ME BARTH.

OK, BARTH.

THE DOCTOR WILL
SEE YOU IN A MOMENT.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST HAVE A SEAT?

OK.

UH, NO, NO, I SIT ALL DAY.

I'LL NEED MRS.
CRAMDEN'S X-RAYS...

MICHAEL! MICHAEL SEAVER.

I... DR. McCLOSKEY!

LOOK, I DIDN'T THINK YOU
WORKED ON WEEKENDS.

DON'T YOU HAVE THAT SUBSTITUTE
DOCTOR? OH, YOU MEAN DR. EMMETT?

UH, NO, HE'S ON
VACATION THIS WEEK.

YOU MUST BE VERY BUSY. LOOK,
I'LL COME BACK SOME OTHER TIME.

NONSENSE, NONSENSE.
HERE, JUMP UP HERE.

NOW WHAT SEEMS
TO BE THE TROUBLE?

I GUESS THAT SAYS IT ALL.
HMM, WE'LL HAVE A LOOK.

IT'S JUST A LITTLE SCRATCH, DOC.

OH, THAT LOOKS BAD, MIKE.

IT'S BROKEN IN HALF.

THAT HURT?

NO, NO, NOT REALLY.
WAS THAT YOU?

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN, MIKE?

TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, DOC,
IT'S KIND OF ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS.

IT'S JUST ACTING UP. MIKE?

OK, OK, I WAS AT A PARTY
AND I SAT ON A HOT PIZZA.

WELL, THERE SEEM TO
BE SOME ABRASIONS.

THOSE ARE CHEESE BURNS.

AND WHAT ABOUT THE GRAVEL?

UH, WE DIDN'T ORDER THAT.

SO I'M FLYING OVER NEW
YORK IN MY UNDERWEAR

AND THEN, ALL OF A SUDDEN,
PEOPLE START YELLING,

"HEY, LOOK! IT'S ON INSIDE OUT!"

NOW, IS THIS BEFORE OR
AFTER THE ONE WHERE YOU WERE

BEN, THE FORGOTTEN KENNEDY?

IT WAS BEFORE THAT,
AND AFTER THE ONE

WHERE I TURNED INTO
THE HUMAN HOT DOG.

BEN, YOU KNOW I'M GETTING
GRADED ON THIS PAPER.

YOU'RE NOT JUST MAKING
THIS STUFF UP, ARE YOU?

NO, CAROL. THESE
ARE REAL DREAMS.

YOU SWEAR?

CROSS MY HEART. I'D
NEVER MAKE UP A DREAM.

GREAT. WELL, THIS SHOULD
BE ENOUGH FOR A PENETRATING

PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE
OF THE REAL BEN SEAVER.

PENETRATING AND PROFITABLE.

♪ GET YOUR MOTOR RUNNIN' ♪

♪ HEAD ON, ON THE HIGHWAY ♪

♪ YES, I'M LOOKING
FOR ADVENTURE ♪

♪ OH BABE ♪

♪ AND WHATEVER COMES MY WAY ♪

JASON, YOU ARE CRAZY.

WHY, 'CAUSE I WAS
BORN TO BE WILD?

NO, BECAUSE YOU HAVE A
DIRT BIKE IN MY LIVING ROOM.

WELL, WE ALSO HAVE
A VERY UNHAPPY BOY

UP AT BEAR MOUNTAIN RIGHT NOW.

SO I THOUGHT WHY NOT GO OUT, RENT A
BIKE, AND TEACH HIM HOW TO RIDE MYSELF.

WHAT A SWEET AND
INCREDIBLY TERRIFYING IDEA.

MAGGIE, I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

I USED TO RIDE A HARLEY,
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

I KNOW, SWEETHEART.

I VISITED YOU IN THE HOSPITAL.

HEY, THAT COW CAME
OUT OF NOWHERE.

I'M GONNA KILL YOU.

I'M GONNA KILL YOU BACK.

YOU CAN'T. YOU'LL BE DEAD.

NOT IF I GO SLOWLY.

WHOA! HOLD ON. I'LL DO
THE KILLING AROUND HERE.

BEN RUINED MY PAPER.

NOT THE PORTRAIT OF
THE SLEEPING 9-YEAR-OLD?

HE SAID ALL THE DREAMS
HE SOLD ME WERE REAL,

AND NOW I CATCH HIM

ON THE FRONT LAWN BUYING A
NIGHTMARE FROM RALPH FINSTERWALD!

HEY, I SAID THEY
WERE REAL DREAMS.

I DIDN'T SAY THEY WERE MINE.

BEN!

SO I BOUGHT A FEW
OFF SOME FRIENDS.

I BARELY BROKE EVEN.

BEN.

OK, OK, SO I MADE A 200% PROFIT.

IS THAT SUCH A CRIME?

BUT YOU RUINED MY PAPER. NOW ALL
MY CONCLUSIONS ARE MEANINGLESS.

OH, I DON'T KNOW, CAROL. I THINK THERE
MIGHT STILL BE A PAPER IN THIS SOMEWHERE.

SAY, THE EMERGENCE
OF THE CRIMINAL MIND,

OR THE EFFECTS OF SWIFT AND
SEVERE PUNISHMENT, SUCH AS, UH,

DOING YOUR SISTER'S CHORES
FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND?

WHAT?

OH, I THINK IT WILL
TAKE A LOT MORE

THAN A WEEKEND TO
GET RELIABLE DATA.

I NEED AT LEAST A WEEK.

SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA
TO ME. WHAT DO YOU SAY, BEN?

I HATE IT.

OK, WE'LL MAKE IT A MONTH.

A WEEK SOUNDS FAIR.

BEN, BEN...

NEVER SELL YOUR DREAMS.

NOT AT THESE PRICES.

MIKE?

MOM!

HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

HERE? HERE, MOM?

UH, LET ME ASK YOU THIS: WHAT
ARE ANY OF US DOING HERE?

I MEAN, IT'S A
TIMELESS QUESTION.

I THINK A DEAD
PHILOSOPHER ONCE SAID...

MIKE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

DAD!

HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT?

MIKE, HOW COME YOU'RE
HOME A DAY EARLY?

UH, WELL, TO TELL
YOU THE TRUTH, MOM,

I KIND OF GOT IN A LITTLE
ARGUMENT WITH BONER.

UH, I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT,
BUT I'M GLAD YOU'RE HOME, MIKE,

'CAUSE I HAVE A
SURPRISE FOR YOU.

COME ON, TAKE A LOOK.

MIKE, HOW COME YOU'RE
WALKING LIKE THAT?

I'M JUST TRYING TO KEEP
THE SUSPENSE ALIVE, MOM.

THERE SHE IS, MIKE!

IS THAT A MEAN MACHINE, OR WHAT?

IT IS THE OSHIMA 705.

YOU EVER SEE ONE
OF THESE BABIES?

UH, YEAH, ONCE. IT WAS
GOING THE OTHER WAY.

YOUR FATHER RENTED
IT FOR THE WEEKEND

SO HE COULD TEACH
YOU HOW TO RIDE.

OH, GEE! WHAT A DAD.
WHAT A PAL. WHAT A GUY.

UH, WELL, I'M OFF TO BED NOW.

MIKE, BIKE.

COME ON, PLANT
THAT DUFF UP HERE.

WHICH DUFF? WHERE?

COME ON, MIKE! LET'S GO. HOP ON!

AH, COMFORTABLE.

COME ON, SIT DOWN.

IT'S NOT GONNA BITE YOU.

IT'S GOT GREAT SUSPENSION, TOO.

MAGGIE, I THINK HE LIKES IT.

I CAN FEEL THE WIND
IN OUR HAIR ALREADY.

JASON, MIGHT I HAVE
A WORD WITH YOU?

YEAH, DAD, HAVE WORDS.
HAVE LOTS OF WORDS.

UH, NOTHING THAT SAYS
IT QUITE LIKE WORDS.

JASON, UH, THAT WAS
DR. McCLOSKEY ON THE PHONE.

SEEMS MIKE STOPPED
BY THERE TODAY.

YEAH? WHAT FOR?

TURNS OUT HE HAS
SOME PRETTY BAD BRUISES

AND ABRASIONS ON
HIS GLUTEAL REGION.

WELL, WHY DIDN'T HE TELL US?

OH.

NOW, COULD THESE BE THE
KIND OF BRUISES THAT YOU GET

FROM, UH, SAY,
FALLING OFF A DIRT BIKE?

YOU KNOW, I JUST HAPPENED TO ASK
DR. McCLOSKEY THE SAME QUESTION.

AND HE SAID?

IT'S EITHER THAT, OR A
FREAK SHAVING ACCIDENT.

OH, MIKE!

YEAH, DAD?

READY TO GO BIKING?

UH, NOW, DAD?

YEAH. YEAH, COME ON. WE'RE
GONNA TAKE THIS LITTLE PUPPY OVER

SOME OF THE ROUGHEST
TERRAIN ON LONG ISLAND.

UH-HUH, YOU KNOW, YOUR FATHER WAS
OUT ALL DAY SCOUTING FOR POTHOLES.

POTHOLES? YEAH.

AND IF YOU WERE REAL MEN, YOU'D
DO IT WITHOUT SHOCK ABSORBERS.

YEAH, LET'S TAKE THEM OFF, MIKE.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

UH, NO, NO, DAD, I DON'T
THINK WE SHOULD DO THIS.

I MEAN, DIRT BIKES
ARE DEATH MACHINES.

PEOPLE FALL OFF AND GET HURT.

NAW, NO WAY. NO.

ONLY A BONE-BRAIN
WOULD FALL OFF.

COME ON. LET'S GET YOUR
REAR IN GEAR. LET'S GO, MIKE.

COME ON, MIKE!

LOOK, PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME.

BUT WHY NOT?

BECAUSE I'M A
BONE-BRAIN, ALL RIGHT?

I MEAN, I FELL OFF ONE OF
THESE THINGS AT BEAR MOUNTAIN.

I PROMISED I WOULDN'T RIDE
IT, BUT I DID, AND I GOT HURT.

I MEAN, YOU WARNED ME,
AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU.

YOU WERE RIGHT.
YOU'RE ALWAYS RIGHT.

AND PERSONALLY, I
FIND THAT ANNOYING.

WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE?

I DON'T KNOW, JASON.
WHAT IS IT WITH US PEOPLE?

WE CAN'T HELP IT. WE'RE OLDER.

WE'RE WISER.

I FIND THAT ANNOYING, TOO.

THEN WAIT TILL YOU HEAR THIS.

I THINK WE AGREE THAT YOU SHOULD
SPEND THE NEXT WEEK IN YOUR ROOM.

CAN I SPEND IT LYING ON MY FACE?

OH, ALL RIGHT.

THANKS.

AND, MIKE,

WHAT REALLY UPSETS US IS NOT JUST
THAT YOU WENT AND RODE THE DIRT BIKE

BUT THAT YOU
TRIED TO DECEIVE US.

I MEAN, IF YOU GET
HURT, WE NEED TO KNOW.

DOES THAT MEAN THAT IF I HAD TOLD
YOU GUYS I WOULDN'T BE PUNISHED?

NO.

JUST CHECKING.

WELL, WHAT A PITY TO WASTE THIS.

IT'S RENTED FOR
THE WHOLE WEEKEND.

OH, WELL, I DON'T KNOW...

HOT. VERY HOT.

CAN YOU SIT LIKE THAT FOR
THE ENTIRE RENTAL PERIOD?

WELL, I'VE GOT A BETTER
IDEA. WHY DON'T WE JUST TAKE

A LITTLE SPIN UPSTAIRS?

I DID A LITTLE SHOPPING AT SIMONE'S
OF SYOSSET TODAY. I PICKED UP

CALL OF THE WILD.

IN PINK?

IN CHOCOLATE.

♪ GET YOUR MOTOR RUNNIN' ♪

♪ GET ON, ON THE HIGHWAY ♪

COME ON, MIKE. LET'S GO.

I'M NOT GOING.

OH, COME ON, MIKE,
WE'LL MISS THE MOVIE.

BUT, MOM, PEOPLE WILL SEE ME.

NO, THEY WON'T. IT'S A DRIVE-IN.

OK.