Grey's Anatomy (2005–…): Season 11, Episode 9 - Where Do We Go From Here? - full transcript
Meredith keeps herself busy while Derek prepares for his move; Jackson and April get difficult news; Arizona and Amelia talk about how best to approach Dr. Herman.
Extract Subtitles From Media
Drop file here
Supports Video and Audio formats
Up to 60 mins and 2 GB
Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
---
Meredith: When exposed to trauma,
the body deploys its own defense system.
Do you know why I resent you?
I gave up everything for you.
From the first second the
brain receives the signal
that a catastrophe has happened...
[Sighs]
You have a piece of paper?
For what?
We need to make vows.
I-I have post-its.
What do we want to promise each other?
The blood rushes to the organs
that need help the most.
Blood floods into the muscles,
the lungs, the heart, the brain.
[Beeping]
The brain makes a decision
for the rest of the body...
either face the danger or run away.
It's a mechanism designed to
protect the body from harm...
[Crickets chirping]
[Sighs]
From knowing that what has happened
might be irreparable.
To love each other even
when we hate each other.
No running.
We call it...
shock.
Lynn: The person who cares for your kids
is an important choice.
You want to make sure it's the right fit.
So we'll sit and talk.
I'll find out about your
needs, you'll learn about me...
Right. Just, right now, I'm
a little pressed for time.
Oh, absolutely. You're busy.
That's why we're here to help.
Yeah, there's a trauma coming in, and I...
Of course. Listen, I've worked
with doctors before, many times.
I know the drill.
How about if I wait in the
lobby until you have some time?
That's great. I'll find you.
Okay.
Who was that?
Uh, new nanny, hopefully.
[Gasps] You got a nanny?
I had to. Derek left.
What?
- Owen: We don't have numbers yet...
- Meredith? Shh!
But be prepared for as
many as 20 casualties,
many of them kids.
What happened? [Doctors murmur]
A woman drove off a bridge
with her two kids in the car.
Witnesses are saying that
the woman started speeding,
she rammed a bunch of vehicles,
and then took a sharp right off the bridge
I-into the water.
Police believe this was intentional.
Oh, my God.
With her kids?
Let's cooperate with the police
and do our jobs, okay?
God, is she one of those crazy moms
who tries to drown her kids?
[Sighs]
Maybe she needed a nanny.
What kind of mother does
that to her own kids?
Why is it somehow worse
when a woman kills her kids?
That's sexist.
Women are just as crappy
and homicidal as men.
Is there something you want to tell me?
Or a grand jury?
Shut up. I'm just making a point.
It's not like I'm
advocating killing your kids.
Oh, hi, Dr. Kepner.
You heard Dr. Hunt. We've got at
least six criticals on the way.
Why are you both standing there?
You're right. I'm sorry.
[Sighs]
I told Jackson about the baby.
Oh, God.
I was just standing here
shouting about killing kids.
Why didn't you tell me to shut up?
Does she know?
Uh, I don't know.
No. Right?
I mean, if she knew...
if you found out that your
unborn baby had a fatal disease,
you wouldn't be at work, right?
No.
[Siren wailing]
What do we got?
10-year-old female, Mia James.
GCS of 14 but was unconscious at the scene.
Deep facial lac.
Little brother and mom are right behind us.
Mia, I'm Dr. Hunt. Can you hear me?
Where's my mom? Is she okay?
We'll find out as soon as
we can. Let's get her inside.
Parker James, age 5.
Minor injuries include facial lacerations,
left-arm deformity, normal vitals.
Where's my sister?
She's right inside,
Parker. We've got you, okay?
Paramedic: We got a Brooke James,
submerged restrained driver,
unresponsive since we arrived on the scene.
She is hypotensive, tachycardic.
- Wait... is this the driver?
- Yeah.
Let's move. Come on.
[Sirens wailing]
[Monitor beeping]
Police want to question her,
but I said there's no way in her condition.
Did they say what
happened? Did she go nuts?
She could have lost her
footing on the gas pedal.
We do not know.
We do know she's hypotensive,
had a low D-Stick reading and...
free fluid in the belly.
She's too unstable for a C.T.
Let's get her up to the O.R. now.
Hunt. Driver's in bad
shape. We're taking her up.
I'm gonna alert the O.R.
I-I'm looking for my wife and kids.
Uh, uh, Brooke James.
Uh, kids are Mia and...
Parker, right?
They said some woman hit their car
and drove off the bridge?
Mr. James, your wife is
on her way to surgery.
Your kids are being treated.
Your wife was the driver.
She... drove off the bridge.
What?
Oh, no. T-that's crazy.
Sir
No, she wouldn't do that. That's crazy.
- Mr. James, can you come with us?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Excuse me.
She wouldn't do that. Can you come with us?
Mr. James... thank you, Sir.
She'd never do that. It's a lie!
I'm here. We're on our way up.
I'm gonna want more scans,
3-D renderings so I can get
to know this tumor better.
I'm gonna need to draw up
measurements and trajectories.
When do I get to speak
to her previous doctors?
Um, well, as soon as I talk to Dr. Herman.
Great. When are you doing that?
It's a big cliff. You just got to leap.
I stole medical records.
I racked up about a
thousand HIPAA violations.
It's not a cliff. That's prison.
And I'm too pretty for prison.
Arizona, you are saving her life.
Well, I'm saving her life,
but you made it possible.
Once you tell her, once she understands,
she... she will be okay with it.
She'll be happy.
Ultimately, she will be thrilled.
You want me to tell her?
No. I have to do it. I have to do it.
I just need to figure out how and when.
How and when.
That's my tumor.
That's my tumor!
Where did you get it
and why do you have it?!
You showed my tumor to other doctors,
without my consent...
I needed to understand...
You have no right. You stole them.
I had to.
Do you know how many laws
you're breaking right now?
You weren't telling me anything!
I can remove the tumor.
I don't know who you've
been seeing for this.
I'm sure they're great.
I'm sure they are the best in their field.
But I can only tell you,
they lack imagination.
They lack scope.
Your tumor is smart.
It's brilliant.
But so am I. I can beat it.
I will beat it.
I have a surgery.
[Door opens]
Chief, uh, just wanted to let you know
that I don't think Kepner's
gonna make it in today.
We had some news, um...
April's here.
Wait. What?
Yeah. She's been here all morning.
She's just on her way up to surgery.
Everything okay?
Uh, yeah, yeah. Thank you.
[Sighs]
You know what? No.
Actually, I need you to pull
her out of surgery right now.
Avery, I can't...
No, look. She shouldn't operate.
She shouldn't even be at work today at all,
so she should definitely not be operating.
I need you trust me when I say that.
April: Kelly, more lap pads? I
think I see the source of the cut.
I got it.
[Clears throat]
Owen?
Grey. Kepner. How we doing in here?
Well, it's a mess, but
we've got it under control.
April, I'm... Tagging you out.
I'll take this one.
Why?
I'll just... I'll take this one.
April.
I'm good. You can go.
I-it's okay. I'm tagging you out.
No.
Owen?
Listen, it's okay. We've got this.
Go ahead and go. [Scoffs]
Do we have a problem here?
No
Yes. Yes, there is... Jackson.
Jackson's my problem, right, Hunt?
He went to you, and now you know,
and you've decided what's best for me.
Jackson's downstairs,
and he's waiting for you.
Well, I'm working here.
April...
I am taking over for you.
[Scoffs] Is this an order?
Is that what's happening?
Are you ordering me out of my O.R.?
[Sighs]
I'm asking you.
Well, then, my answer is no.
Then it is an order.
[Scoffs]
That is an order, Kepner.
Fine.
You're in so much trouble.
Shut up. You are. You wanted to go out.
Bailey: Got some bruises
andtusions, nothing surgical.
You guys had a pretty rough ride, huh?
It was awesome.
That car slamed right into us.
And then they flew off
the bridge, into the water!
And then all the other cars
started slamming into each other!
It was like "Grand Theft Auto"!
Son of a bitch. Dad's gonna
freak when he sees the car.
Language.
- Where is your dad?
- You can't tell my dad.
Yeah, 'cause he's gonna
ground you till you're dead.
Shut your mouth assface.
You're an assface.
You want to be so cool,
but you're a crappy driver,
and your mustache is stupid.
Wait... you were driving?
How old are you?
18.
Yeah, and I'm 25, assface.
Hey, shh, shh.
Duodenal perf...
duct looks severed.
Head of the pancreas
is badly injured.
What do you think trauma Whipple?
Looks like it.
What happened with you and Kepner?
Nothing.
Well, it better have been something.
You kicked her out of her own O.R.
She shouldn't even be in an O.R.
She's got... personal stuff.
We all have personal stuff.
My husband left me. I'm here.
Wait. What?
I thought he would have e-mailed you now.
He went to D.C.
When did this happen?
Last night.
You want to throw me out?
Shoud go get my nails
done, have a good cry?
[Scoffs] Listen, Jackson
didn't tell me what it was,
just that...
oh, so her husband tells
you to do something,
and that's enough... okay,
it's about their baby.
It's bad.
[Distorted conversations, monitors beeping]
[Beeping, thump]
[Wheels rolling]
[Distortion stops]
[Sirens wailing]
Police officer: And then your
mom started driving faster.
Did she say anything?
She... she told us to shut up.
She said that?
She's never said that.
[Voice breaking] We
weren't even making noise.
And then we started to hit other cars,
and then we went into the water,
and then a fireman pulled me out.
Oh, God.
You said "shut up" was a bad word.
You said...
No, it's okay. You're okay.
It's true, Parker. You're a lucky kid.
All you need is a little
splint on that wrist,
but that's it.
Jackson: Okay.
Well, your daughter's
still just a little groggy.
Just need to stitch up
that laceration on her face.
- She's good to go.
- Greg: Yes. Of course.
Please, do whatever you have to do.
Dr. Avery, a word?
Uh... Excuse me.
One second.
Hey. You all right?
I'll get somebody to cover for
me, and we can just go home...
What is wrong with you?
Letting a cop interrogate a 5-year-old?
They... Needed to know...
Those two kids were almost
killed by their mother.
T-they are... they're terrified.
- Okay. Slow down.
- They're they're in shock.
Listen, listen, I think
you're in shock, actually.
They shouldn't even be down
here. Get them out of here.
Get them someplace safe. Get them admitted.
Okay. Let's just go home.
Have you seen those people in there?!
What that woman did?!
I know, and there are plenty of people here
that can take care of them, right?
You need to...
I... I need to be in an O.R.
But you seem to be making all
sorts of decisions for me today.
I'm trying to help you.
Yeah, well, you're not helping.
You go to Owen, and then two men decide
what they think is best
for the little lady,
like I'm some helpless idiot,
and then I suddenly find myself
standing outside of my O.R.?
That... that... that is not helping!
Why don't you tell me what is, then?
Talk to me instead of running away.
Tell me what you need. Tell me
what I can do. Tell me how you feel.
Tell me something... anything.
Say something. Talk to me.
I'm trying to help you. That's
all I'm trying to do here.
Okay, okay.
- You want to help?
- Yes.
Just get that family into a room
and stitch up that girl's face.
[Sighs]
[Breathing deeply]
[Clears throat]
Everything okay?
[Laughing]
[Inhales deeply]
No.
Everything is not okay.
Bailey: We need your parents' names.
They need to know that
you're here and you're safe.
Just cough it up.
You don't say a word.
You're a brick wall.
Dylan's C.T. shows mesenteric stranding
and some thickening of the bowel wall.
Could be just a mesenteric injury,
but it also looks like a bucket-handle injury.
I'll just go in and take a
look first with the laparoscope.
Nuh-unh!
No. Come here.
No, we need to get in there,
open him up, and see what's happening.
Laparoscopic isn't the standard.
You could miss a bowel perf...
but I'm trying to save this kid
a massive scar and a long recovery.
Yeah, but we shouldn't risk...
Why do you keep saying "we"?
You're not doing it at all. He's a kid.
You don't tell me what
I'm doing and not do...
you're a kid.
I'm an attending pediatric
surgeon, and he's a kid.
It's my call, and I'm
going in laparoscopically.
Ohhh.
Is that how it's gonna be?
Yeah. It is.
And maybe while I do that,
you can get his little rat brother
to roll over on his parents.
Okay?
Let's get him ready to roll.
You're a brick wall, Jack.
Brick it!
Okay, that should prevent any tamponading.
One woman loses it, and look
at all the damage she can do.
There's a chest contusion
with intermittent arrhythmias
in bed 6.
Can you take a look at that next?
Mm-hmm.
Boy or girl?
What?
Oh, are you guys not finding out?
I am such a control freak.
I don't think I could handle not knowing.
I would want to have a
list of names in mind.
That would be the hardest part, I think...
choosing the name.
Bed 6, consult now, please.
Okay.
Uh, I'm looking for Greg
James. Is he still down here?
I need to talk to you.
Okay. So, you talked to Jackson.
Are you... are you okay? Can I do anything?
You saw something on my ultrasound.
Yes.
Yes, you saw something,
and you didn't say anything.
I-I know. I wasn't...
I was right there in the room.
It was my baby, and you said nothing.
Nothing.
I just wanted to be sure before I told you.
Oh, but you had no problem
going and telling other people.
You had no problem telling Jackson
before I even had a chance to process.
I'm sorry.
To have you, of all people,
knowing before I did...
I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, you should be.
[Sighs]
Mr. James is upstairs.
His kids were admitted.
[Door slams]
[Telephone rings]
Nurse: Hello. This is O.R. 1.
Owen: Did he tell Amelia?
Did he pass off his cases?
Well, I'm sure he did.
Derek wouldn't just leave his patients.
Pickups.
[Sighs] Or his wife or his kids.
I mean, it's... it's just hard to believe.
Well, he did.
And what do you need someone to blame?
It's my fault. I did it. I told him to go.
Stapler.
Dr. Grey, her tox screen's back.
Any drugs or alcohol?
Antipsychotics? Antidepressants?
All negative.
Damn it!
What are you after?
An explanation something.
Someone puts her whole family in danger,
you want to find out
there was a good reason.
You want to believe she
didn't have any choice.
Have you talked to Cristina?
I presume you guys talk all
the time, especially now.
Yeah, we usually get on the
phone Friday nights for me,
Saturday mornings for her,
pour drinks, settle in.
So, today's Friday. You
gonna call her today?
Yeah, I've missed the... Last couple.
Why?
Well, before she left,
she said something about Derek and I,
and... She was right.
And I don't want her to be right.
Hmm.
Stephanie: Okay, so, no history
of diabetes in the family.
What about, uh, current
illnesses or mental illnesses?
Are you asking if my wife's crazy?
No, I'm... I'm... we're trying
to see if there's something
that could have made her do...
To hurt my kids? Nothing. She wouldn't.
I didn't think she would.
Brooke... I mean, she's, uh...
She's busy.
You know, she's tired and stressed.
And she forgets things.
She's got a lot going on
with getting them from school
and violin and baseball...
And making sure they're happy.
And I...
I work too much.
I don't know.
I...
[Voice breaking] I don't know my wife.
I don't know anything anymore.
I left you alone for a few minutes.
Am I gonna find my wallet in your pocket?
I'm sorry that I went behind your back.
You're understating it. You betrayed me.
I thought I could trust you.
Shepherd is fully convinced
that she can do a complete resection.
She's convinced...
Shepherd is in a party of one.
If there's even the slightest bit of hope,
don't you want to know that?
Robbins, can you name the single worst,
most malignant symptom of terminal cancer?
It's hope.
It's recurrent, and it
keeps creeping back in,
no matter how many times
it gets ripped apart.
Mayo gave me hope in a
phase 3 clinical trial.
It failed.
N.Y.U. hoped that radiosurgery would work.
It didn't.
And Barrow had high, high hopes
for a potent combination
of chemo and ablation.
No go.
And every time the hope goes,
it takes chunks of you with it,
until you can only find comfort
in the one thing that you
know you can count on...
that this thing is gonna kill you.
So you tell Shepherd to
keep her hope to herself.
Better yet, tell her where to stick it.
Okay. Let's start the anastomoses.
Yep. 4-0 prolene.
Husband says there's
no history of diabetes.
Anything else?
Uh, yeah.
She's been exhausted,
forgetful, stressed...
running around, taking care of the kids...
I don't know. Maybe she snapped.
Well, running around
taking care of her kids
doesn't sound like a mom
who's about to kill herself,
in my experience.
Hmm.
It doesn't make sense.
Her blood-sugar levels were
so low when she came in.
My mother always used to say,
"the pancreas is the self-destruct button
of the body."
And her pancreas was really friable.
And her husband said she's been forgetful.
I bet there's a tumor on that pancreas.
Insulinoma.
That would explain her anxiety,
confusion, erratic behavior.
That would explain everything.
Yeah.
I need to call your parents, Jack.
[Scoffs]
[Sighs]
Look, you're scared.
You think you're in trouble now.
But believe me,
the longer you wait, the worse it'll be.
Look.
Your parents are scared right now,
wondering where you are.
A-and they're getting more
and more scared by the minute.
When they finally see you,
they'll be so relieved.
But...
I mean, all that fear
has got to go somewhere.
All that fear will turn
into white-hot anger
that will banish you to a world
with no video games forever.
- [Sighs]
- Trust me.
I have a little boy, too.
I'm a brick wall.
Give me your cellphone.
I'm 7.
Would you give your 7-year-old a cellphone?
Look, I am trying to help you.
If you don't cooperate,
then I'll have to call
Child Protective Services.
Do you know what that means?
[Slurps]
Hey, you want to do this the hard way?
Then I will make that call.
You do what you've got to do.
I stole a car once when I was 12.
Didn't make it two blocks.
[Chuckles] What stopped you?
A dumpster.
Mm. First time I stole a
car, I sideswiped the mirror.
First time?
Second time, I ran out of gas.
Third, I got away with it.
- Fourth...
- Fourth?
Flat tire.
- Are you messing with me?
- No.
Was there a fifth?
Yeah. I lived in that one.
[Chuckles]
[Alarm beeping]
- Damn it.
- What just happened?
Mesentery's bleeding like
crazy. We got to open him up.
I thought that's what
we were trying to avoid.
We got no choice. We got to get in
there, and we got to get in there now.
10 blade.
10 blade!
[Beeping continues]
Are you almost done here?
I've got two tib-fib fractures
and an l45 compression
fracture in trauma 4.
Okay. Hang on.
All right, I'm gonna count to three,
and then I'll do it, okay?
Okay.
You ready? Yeah.
One... Two...
[Crack] Aah!
Ah. Always better when
you don't see it coming.
Go ahead and put a shoulder
sling on him, please.
All right, Kepner. What's next?
I already told you, if
you'd been listening.
What is going on?
I'm fine.
No, you're not, and I know
because I'm the queen of taking my
personal crap out on other people...
especially you.
It looks like this. What's going on?
I-I don't want to talk about it.
And I don't want you snapping at me.
You can't have a baby.
Excuse me?
And it's what you want.
All you want is to have
a baby and love that baby
and nurture that baby and raise that baby,
and this woman this... Woman
throws her perfectly
healthy kids off of a bridge.
Doesn't that just enrage you?
- April...
- I'm saying...
how are you not screaming
right now at what she's done?
To her kids? To all of these people?!
How is any of this fair?!
April! April.
April.
Okay.
Now...
Patients are waiting.
Greg: Uh...
Will my daughter have a scar
for the rest of her life?
Oh.
I took my time.
Any... any scar, it would be very minimal.
Ah.
Every time she looks in a
mirror, she'll remember this.
My kids...
They lost everything.
They have you.
I don't... I'm not sure how good that is.
Look, I missed this.
You know, I...
Whatever was happening...
With Brooke...
[Voice breaking] I just wasn't seeing it.
You know, you worry about everything.
But I was not prepared for this.
Should I have seen it coming?
[Crying] How could I
have prepared for this?
Why do we want to avoid
putting in another port?
Each incision increases the chances
of rupturing the membranes.
Exactly.
[Door opens]
Hi. Robbins?
Um, sorry to interrupt.
I wanted to ask if I could
meet with you and talk...
you and me and April.
Her hands are a little
full right now, Doctor.
Of course. We're almost done here.
Yeah, I meant after. But soon, please.
I just, um...
I need to be prepared...
For whatever it is.
We need to know everything we can.
Just what it is, what we can do.
Everything.
I'll come find you.
All right.
[Sighs]
My friends... the baby with
osteogenesis imperfecta.
Hmm. I see.
You're clear on what to tell them?
Yeah, I know.
Just remember what I said about hope.
Don't make it any harder
for them than it already is.
[Sighs]
Can you take this, please?
- Robbins.
- I am done here.
Robbins!
Meredith: They examined every slice?
I stood in path and watched them.
Have them do it again.
I did. There's no evidence of insulinoma.
[Sighs]
Get me the ultrasound.
The tumor is in here.
It doesn't have to be.
The husband says she was
stressed and overtaxed.
Sounds like she was headed
for a nervous breakdown.
It sounds like she's a mother, Owen.
Where is that ultrasound?
I'm just saying,
people have breakdowns for all kinds of...
Owen. Shut up.
You're not gonna find anything.
I'm not?
Give me your hand.
[Gasps]
What's that, right there?
It's... it's tiny.
Feels like the head of a pin.
Right. But it's there. I knew it was there.
Excellent work, Dr. Grey.
Edwards. Scrub in.
Okay.
[Chuckles]
Whew!
Hmm.
[Siren wailing]
[Video game music playing]
[Beep, music stops]
Give me your phone.
I don't have a phone.
Give me your phone!
It's not mine. It's Dylan's.
This is not a game, Jack.
Your brother is very badly hurt.
He is lying open on an operating table,
with two doctors working
very hard to save his life!
There are no restart buttons.
There's no replays.
This is not a game.
When it's over, it's over. It's real.
Now, he needs his parents!
So what are you gonna do?
[Voice breaking] It's all my fault.
I wanted to go to the ice-cream shop,
and I asked him to drive me there.
I want to go home.
I want my mom.
[Sniffles]
Meredith: She should wake up soon.
A tumor?
Benign, but it secretes Insulin,
which causes major
fluctuations in glucose levels.
And that was...
the exhaustion, the
confusion, the forgetfulness...
The accident.
It was the tumor.
And it's gone now.
[Sighs]
I'm sorry.
I should have never thought it.
Not for one second.
I should have never thought
that you would hurt them.
I'm sorry.
It's only 4:00 A.M. there.
I told Cristina to go, too.
It was the only thing to do.
She had to go.
If she'd stayed, it would have been worse.
I know that now.
[Sighs]
Tell her "hello" for me.
Robbins, you don't ever walk out of an O.R.
in the middle of a procedure... ever.
You have a shot! You have a chance!
And it may be small and it may
be risky, but it's a chance.
A chance that my friends
would give anything to have,
and you're ignoring it you're wasting it.
[Door locks]
[Sighs]
[Sobs]
[Crying]
[Sighs]
[Sniffles]
[Door unlocks]
Dr. Grey?
I'm still here.
Lynn... the nanny?
Oh! Lynn!
I'm sorry.
You're still here?
I am.
[Groans]
It's fine.
Uh, now, tell me what it is you're needing.
Uh, I, um...
I need, uh, help with the kids, obviously.
More specifically... ?
Uh, I need...
Support.
My life and my work is very unpredictable.
And I need someone who understands that
and who can be there when I can't
and who understands
that if I can't be there,
it's because I must be where I am.
And I need someone who believes in that
and who supports that.
[Sighs]
I need a person...
Who is in it with me...
And who believes in that.
And I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I know...
[Voice breaking] I seem like I'm crazy.
And I'm... I'm really not.
But... I've just had this day.
No, no, no.
[Sighs]
It's okay.
[Sighs]
[Computers beeping]
Let's talk.
See this here? This linear hypointensity?
It is a CSF plane.
That's what can give me a clean dissection.
If I leave behind one
billionth of a malignancy,
the tumor will be back,
so I am going to have to
use every tool in the box...
cusa, lasers, fluoroscein,
radioactive seeds.
I will not stop until I
have completely decimated
each and every last cell.
Chief?
What do you think?
It is...
Complex, and it is risky.
I see three scenarios here.
One, Shepherd operates
and I die on the table.
Two, Shepherd operates
and resects something she shouldn't
and I wake up gorked.
And three... least likely of all...
Shepherd operates,
removes all of the tumor,
and I wake up alive, deficit-free.
Am I right?
Yes.
But as I...
how far does the tumor need to reach
before it becomes impossible
to resect in its entirety?
Nicole...
We need to do this now.
How far?
[Sighs]
Once it goes through the optic apparatus
and breaches the hypothalamus,
there's no way... I won't touch it.
If... if you clot or bleed...
it's too risky.
Great. Then, we wait.
And when the tumor starts
threatening the optic nerve
and heading to the
hypothalamus, you can operate.
That is a dangerous plan.
It's a stupid plan. This is the plan.
You get at my tumor,
you get at my knowledge,
I get at my life.
Everyone's happy.
When did the parents get here?
A few minutes ago.
I'm waiting to see if they
hug that kid or slap him.
[Chuckles]
You're a really good mom.
What makes you say that?
I mean, you've been riding me all day,
making sure I don't screw up.
Crap, you've been doing it for years.
It sucks, it's annoying, but...
It's nice.
[Scoffs]
Tuck stole a candy bar
a couple of weeks ago.
I only found out about it last night.
I got so mad. I yelled at him.
Turns out, Ben already made him
go back to the store and
pay for the damn thing.
I didn't even know about it.
I mean, I'm so busy at work,
I haven't been there to...
how do I watch out for my
own kid if I'm not even there?
Huh? How do I do that?
I stole a bunch of stuff.
I turned out okay.
Take her up to the I.C.U. and
check her coags every hour.
Nurse: Yes, Doctor.
[Sighs]
Who's next?
That's it.
Take a look at the board, babe.
Everyone's been either
admitted or discharged.
No, there were... there were
at least 25 patients here.
And you treated every one.
It's damn good you were down here.
Listen, um...
You and I have a real
chance here, you know?
We're able to see this thing coming.
Then we are gonna find
out exactly what it is
and prepare ourselves.
I already talked to Arizona.
She's gonna sit down with us.
We're gonna get some answers.
I already have answers.
Jackson, I spent all night looking it up.
I pulled case study after case study.
Yeah, I did the same thing,
but those are other cases.
There are four types of
osteogenesis imperfecta,
ranging from a manageable
disability to completely fatal.
Types II and III are the most severe.
I'm talking about our baby.
So am I.
I studied my ultrasounds.
Best case...
our kid gets surgery after surgery.
Worst case... our kid lives
only minutes after birth.
Mm-hmm.
I don't... I don't need answers.
What I needed today was just...
To do something,
to treat things I could treat,
to help people I could help.
[Sighs]
At the very least, undo some of the damage
this lunatic woman did to her kids
and all of these people here.
She had a tumor.
It turns out she had an insulinoma.
Causes cognitive deficits.
Hunt told me all about it.
Look, she was not trying to hurt anyone.
She had...
no control.
[Sighs]
Why?
[Thunder rumbles]
Why would that happen?
Why would God give her
kids, give her a family,
and let that...
why would God let that happen?!
I-I don't understand it!
You can do everything right,
and I-it doesn't even...
[Sighs] Why?
I don't know.
[Sighs]
I don't know.
I... I just... I don't want you to hold me,
'cause if you hold me, I'll start to cry,
and I don't want to start crying.
'Cause if I start crying, I...
I will not be able to stop.
I will never be able to stop.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Whatever you need...
I'm here.
[Sobs]
[Voice breaking] Did I
tell you that it's a boy?
[Crying] We're having a boy.
[Ella Eyre's "If I go" plays]
When shock wears off...
[Crying]
When the body can accept
that a trauma has happened...
♪ I could play any game for you ♪
When it can let down its defenses...
♪ ... what you want me to ♪
♪ I could lie ♪
[Ringing]
Are you there?
Uh, no. I'm about to, um...
Meredith?
I don't want to fight anymore.
[Sighing] Oh, I don't, either.
And I don't want you gone.
I know that I told you to go, but...
I mean... this isn't us.
This isn't how we end, is it?
I don't want it to.
I'm trying.
I'm trying, too.
Listen, my flight's been delayed all day.
I'm still at the airport. I can come home.
It's a scary moment.
Do I come home?
What do we want to promise each other?
That you'll love me, even when you hate me.
"To love each other, even
when we hate each other."
It's vulnerable.
No. No, go.
Meredith.
You know, in... in in a good way. Go.
And do what you have to do.
We can do this. People do this.
No running ever.
Nobody walks out, no matter what happens.
People do, yes.
Okay.
So, go and do what you have to do.
And we will figure this out.
We can do this.
We can do this.
Okay.
Okay.
Call me when you land.
And, Derek?
Yes?
I'm going to miss you.
This can work. We will make this work.
We will.
[Static] Are you still there?
Meredith?
Mer... [Groans]
Meredith? Meredith, I'm losing you.
Derek?
[Beep]
♪ ... will it end? ♪
♪ Will you leave me again? ♪
♪ If I go ♪
This... is... forever.
Sign.
♪ But if I go ♪
Now what?
Now I kiss the bride.
♪ ... until I can? ♪
♪ Do you know, will you want me? ♪
♪ Will you want me like that? ♪
♪ And if I leave, will it end? ♪
♪ Will you leave me again? ♪
The shock response had protected us...
♪ If I go, will you love me? ♪
And it just might have saved us.
---
Meredith: When exposed to trauma,
the body deploys its own defense system.
Do you know why I resent you?
I gave up everything for you.
From the first second the
brain receives the signal
that a catastrophe has happened...
[Sighs]
You have a piece of paper?
For what?
We need to make vows.
I-I have post-its.
What do we want to promise each other?
The blood rushes to the organs
that need help the most.
Blood floods into the muscles,
the lungs, the heart, the brain.
[Beeping]
The brain makes a decision
for the rest of the body...
either face the danger or run away.
It's a mechanism designed to
protect the body from harm...
[Crickets chirping]
[Sighs]
From knowing that what has happened
might be irreparable.
To love each other even
when we hate each other.
No running.
We call it...
shock.
Lynn: The person who cares for your kids
is an important choice.
You want to make sure it's the right fit.
So we'll sit and talk.
I'll find out about your
needs, you'll learn about me...
Right. Just, right now, I'm
a little pressed for time.
Oh, absolutely. You're busy.
That's why we're here to help.
Yeah, there's a trauma coming in, and I...
Of course. Listen, I've worked
with doctors before, many times.
I know the drill.
How about if I wait in the
lobby until you have some time?
That's great. I'll find you.
Okay.
Who was that?
Uh, new nanny, hopefully.
[Gasps] You got a nanny?
I had to. Derek left.
What?
- Owen: We don't have numbers yet...
- Meredith? Shh!
But be prepared for as
many as 20 casualties,
many of them kids.
What happened? [Doctors murmur]
A woman drove off a bridge
with her two kids in the car.
Witnesses are saying that
the woman started speeding,
she rammed a bunch of vehicles,
and then took a sharp right off the bridge
I-into the water.
Police believe this was intentional.
Oh, my God.
With her kids?
Let's cooperate with the police
and do our jobs, okay?
God, is she one of those crazy moms
who tries to drown her kids?
[Sighs]
Maybe she needed a nanny.
What kind of mother does
that to her own kids?
Why is it somehow worse
when a woman kills her kids?
That's sexist.
Women are just as crappy
and homicidal as men.
Is there something you want to tell me?
Or a grand jury?
Shut up. I'm just making a point.
It's not like I'm
advocating killing your kids.
Oh, hi, Dr. Kepner.
You heard Dr. Hunt. We've got at
least six criticals on the way.
Why are you both standing there?
You're right. I'm sorry.
[Sighs]
I told Jackson about the baby.
Oh, God.
I was just standing here
shouting about killing kids.
Why didn't you tell me to shut up?
Does she know?
Uh, I don't know.
No. Right?
I mean, if she knew...
if you found out that your
unborn baby had a fatal disease,
you wouldn't be at work, right?
No.
[Siren wailing]
What do we got?
10-year-old female, Mia James.
GCS of 14 but was unconscious at the scene.
Deep facial lac.
Little brother and mom are right behind us.
Mia, I'm Dr. Hunt. Can you hear me?
Where's my mom? Is she okay?
We'll find out as soon as
we can. Let's get her inside.
Parker James, age 5.
Minor injuries include facial lacerations,
left-arm deformity, normal vitals.
Where's my sister?
She's right inside,
Parker. We've got you, okay?
Paramedic: We got a Brooke James,
submerged restrained driver,
unresponsive since we arrived on the scene.
She is hypotensive, tachycardic.
- Wait... is this the driver?
- Yeah.
Let's move. Come on.
[Sirens wailing]
[Monitor beeping]
Police want to question her,
but I said there's no way in her condition.
Did they say what
happened? Did she go nuts?
She could have lost her
footing on the gas pedal.
We do not know.
We do know she's hypotensive,
had a low D-Stick reading and...
free fluid in the belly.
She's too unstable for a C.T.
Let's get her up to the O.R. now.
Hunt. Driver's in bad
shape. We're taking her up.
I'm gonna alert the O.R.
I-I'm looking for my wife and kids.
Uh, uh, Brooke James.
Uh, kids are Mia and...
Parker, right?
They said some woman hit their car
and drove off the bridge?
Mr. James, your wife is
on her way to surgery.
Your kids are being treated.
Your wife was the driver.
She... drove off the bridge.
What?
Oh, no. T-that's crazy.
Sir
No, she wouldn't do that. That's crazy.
- Mr. James, can you come with us?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Excuse me.
She wouldn't do that. Can you come with us?
Mr. James... thank you, Sir.
She'd never do that. It's a lie!
I'm here. We're on our way up.
I'm gonna want more scans,
3-D renderings so I can get
to know this tumor better.
I'm gonna need to draw up
measurements and trajectories.
When do I get to speak
to her previous doctors?
Um, well, as soon as I talk to Dr. Herman.
Great. When are you doing that?
It's a big cliff. You just got to leap.
I stole medical records.
I racked up about a
thousand HIPAA violations.
It's not a cliff. That's prison.
And I'm too pretty for prison.
Arizona, you are saving her life.
Well, I'm saving her life,
but you made it possible.
Once you tell her, once she understands,
she... she will be okay with it.
She'll be happy.
Ultimately, she will be thrilled.
You want me to tell her?
No. I have to do it. I have to do it.
I just need to figure out how and when.
How and when.
That's my tumor.
That's my tumor!
Where did you get it
and why do you have it?!
You showed my tumor to other doctors,
without my consent...
I needed to understand...
You have no right. You stole them.
I had to.
Do you know how many laws
you're breaking right now?
You weren't telling me anything!
I can remove the tumor.
I don't know who you've
been seeing for this.
I'm sure they're great.
I'm sure they are the best in their field.
But I can only tell you,
they lack imagination.
They lack scope.
Your tumor is smart.
It's brilliant.
But so am I. I can beat it.
I will beat it.
I have a surgery.
[Door opens]
Chief, uh, just wanted to let you know
that I don't think Kepner's
gonna make it in today.
We had some news, um...
April's here.
Wait. What?
Yeah. She's been here all morning.
She's just on her way up to surgery.
Everything okay?
Uh, yeah, yeah. Thank you.
[Sighs]
You know what? No.
Actually, I need you to pull
her out of surgery right now.
Avery, I can't...
No, look. She shouldn't operate.
She shouldn't even be at work today at all,
so she should definitely not be operating.
I need you trust me when I say that.
April: Kelly, more lap pads? I
think I see the source of the cut.
I got it.
[Clears throat]
Owen?
Grey. Kepner. How we doing in here?
Well, it's a mess, but
we've got it under control.
April, I'm... Tagging you out.
I'll take this one.
Why?
I'll just... I'll take this one.
April.
I'm good. You can go.
I-it's okay. I'm tagging you out.
No.
Owen?
Listen, it's okay. We've got this.
Go ahead and go. [Scoffs]
Do we have a problem here?
No
Yes. Yes, there is... Jackson.
Jackson's my problem, right, Hunt?
He went to you, and now you know,
and you've decided what's best for me.
Jackson's downstairs,
and he's waiting for you.
Well, I'm working here.
April...
I am taking over for you.
[Scoffs] Is this an order?
Is that what's happening?
Are you ordering me out of my O.R.?
[Sighs]
I'm asking you.
Well, then, my answer is no.
Then it is an order.
[Scoffs]
That is an order, Kepner.
Fine.
You're in so much trouble.
Shut up. You are. You wanted to go out.
Bailey: Got some bruises
andtusions, nothing surgical.
You guys had a pretty rough ride, huh?
It was awesome.
That car slamed right into us.
And then they flew off
the bridge, into the water!
And then all the other cars
started slamming into each other!
It was like "Grand Theft Auto"!
Son of a bitch. Dad's gonna
freak when he sees the car.
Language.
- Where is your dad?
- You can't tell my dad.
Yeah, 'cause he's gonna
ground you till you're dead.
Shut your mouth assface.
You're an assface.
You want to be so cool,
but you're a crappy driver,
and your mustache is stupid.
Wait... you were driving?
How old are you?
18.
Yeah, and I'm 25, assface.
Hey, shh, shh.
Duodenal perf...
duct looks severed.
Head of the pancreas
is badly injured.
What do you think trauma Whipple?
Looks like it.
What happened with you and Kepner?
Nothing.
Well, it better have been something.
You kicked her out of her own O.R.
She shouldn't even be in an O.R.
She's got... personal stuff.
We all have personal stuff.
My husband left me. I'm here.
Wait. What?
I thought he would have e-mailed you now.
He went to D.C.
When did this happen?
Last night.
You want to throw me out?
Shoud go get my nails
done, have a good cry?
[Scoffs] Listen, Jackson
didn't tell me what it was,
just that...
oh, so her husband tells
you to do something,
and that's enough... okay,
it's about their baby.
It's bad.
[Distorted conversations, monitors beeping]
[Beeping, thump]
[Wheels rolling]
[Distortion stops]
[Sirens wailing]
Police officer: And then your
mom started driving faster.
Did she say anything?
She... she told us to shut up.
She said that?
She's never said that.
[Voice breaking] We
weren't even making noise.
And then we started to hit other cars,
and then we went into the water,
and then a fireman pulled me out.
Oh, God.
You said "shut up" was a bad word.
You said...
No, it's okay. You're okay.
It's true, Parker. You're a lucky kid.
All you need is a little
splint on that wrist,
but that's it.
Jackson: Okay.
Well, your daughter's
still just a little groggy.
Just need to stitch up
that laceration on her face.
- She's good to go.
- Greg: Yes. Of course.
Please, do whatever you have to do.
Dr. Avery, a word?
Uh... Excuse me.
One second.
Hey. You all right?
I'll get somebody to cover for
me, and we can just go home...
What is wrong with you?
Letting a cop interrogate a 5-year-old?
They... Needed to know...
Those two kids were almost
killed by their mother.
T-they are... they're terrified.
- Okay. Slow down.
- They're they're in shock.
Listen, listen, I think
you're in shock, actually.
They shouldn't even be down
here. Get them out of here.
Get them someplace safe. Get them admitted.
Okay. Let's just go home.
Have you seen those people in there?!
What that woman did?!
I know, and there are plenty of people here
that can take care of them, right?
You need to...
I... I need to be in an O.R.
But you seem to be making all
sorts of decisions for me today.
I'm trying to help you.
Yeah, well, you're not helping.
You go to Owen, and then two men decide
what they think is best
for the little lady,
like I'm some helpless idiot,
and then I suddenly find myself
standing outside of my O.R.?
That... that... that is not helping!
Why don't you tell me what is, then?
Talk to me instead of running away.
Tell me what you need. Tell me
what I can do. Tell me how you feel.
Tell me something... anything.
Say something. Talk to me.
I'm trying to help you. That's
all I'm trying to do here.
Okay, okay.
- You want to help?
- Yes.
Just get that family into a room
and stitch up that girl's face.
[Sighs]
[Breathing deeply]
[Clears throat]
Everything okay?
[Laughing]
[Inhales deeply]
No.
Everything is not okay.
Bailey: We need your parents' names.
They need to know that
you're here and you're safe.
Just cough it up.
You don't say a word.
You're a brick wall.
Dylan's C.T. shows mesenteric stranding
and some thickening of the bowel wall.
Could be just a mesenteric injury,
but it also looks like a bucket-handle injury.
I'll just go in and take a
look first with the laparoscope.
Nuh-unh!
No. Come here.
No, we need to get in there,
open him up, and see what's happening.
Laparoscopic isn't the standard.
You could miss a bowel perf...
but I'm trying to save this kid
a massive scar and a long recovery.
Yeah, but we shouldn't risk...
Why do you keep saying "we"?
You're not doing it at all. He's a kid.
You don't tell me what
I'm doing and not do...
you're a kid.
I'm an attending pediatric
surgeon, and he's a kid.
It's my call, and I'm
going in laparoscopically.
Ohhh.
Is that how it's gonna be?
Yeah. It is.
And maybe while I do that,
you can get his little rat brother
to roll over on his parents.
Okay?
Let's get him ready to roll.
You're a brick wall, Jack.
Brick it!
Okay, that should prevent any tamponading.
One woman loses it, and look
at all the damage she can do.
There's a chest contusion
with intermittent arrhythmias
in bed 6.
Can you take a look at that next?
Mm-hmm.
Boy or girl?
What?
Oh, are you guys not finding out?
I am such a control freak.
I don't think I could handle not knowing.
I would want to have a
list of names in mind.
That would be the hardest part, I think...
choosing the name.
Bed 6, consult now, please.
Okay.
Uh, I'm looking for Greg
James. Is he still down here?
I need to talk to you.
Okay. So, you talked to Jackson.
Are you... are you okay? Can I do anything?
You saw something on my ultrasound.
Yes.
Yes, you saw something,
and you didn't say anything.
I-I know. I wasn't...
I was right there in the room.
It was my baby, and you said nothing.
Nothing.
I just wanted to be sure before I told you.
Oh, but you had no problem
going and telling other people.
You had no problem telling Jackson
before I even had a chance to process.
I'm sorry.
To have you, of all people,
knowing before I did...
I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, you should be.
[Sighs]
Mr. James is upstairs.
His kids were admitted.
[Door slams]
[Telephone rings]
Nurse: Hello. This is O.R. 1.
Owen: Did he tell Amelia?
Did he pass off his cases?
Well, I'm sure he did.
Derek wouldn't just leave his patients.
Pickups.
[Sighs] Or his wife or his kids.
I mean, it's... it's just hard to believe.
Well, he did.
And what do you need someone to blame?
It's my fault. I did it. I told him to go.
Stapler.
Dr. Grey, her tox screen's back.
Any drugs or alcohol?
Antipsychotics? Antidepressants?
All negative.
Damn it!
What are you after?
An explanation something.
Someone puts her whole family in danger,
you want to find out
there was a good reason.
You want to believe she
didn't have any choice.
Have you talked to Cristina?
I presume you guys talk all
the time, especially now.
Yeah, we usually get on the
phone Friday nights for me,
Saturday mornings for her,
pour drinks, settle in.
So, today's Friday. You
gonna call her today?
Yeah, I've missed the... Last couple.
Why?
Well, before she left,
she said something about Derek and I,
and... She was right.
And I don't want her to be right.
Hmm.
Stephanie: Okay, so, no history
of diabetes in the family.
What about, uh, current
illnesses or mental illnesses?
Are you asking if my wife's crazy?
No, I'm... I'm... we're trying
to see if there's something
that could have made her do...
To hurt my kids? Nothing. She wouldn't.
I didn't think she would.
Brooke... I mean, she's, uh...
She's busy.
You know, she's tired and stressed.
And she forgets things.
She's got a lot going on
with getting them from school
and violin and baseball...
And making sure they're happy.
And I...
I work too much.
I don't know.
I...
[Voice breaking] I don't know my wife.
I don't know anything anymore.
I left you alone for a few minutes.
Am I gonna find my wallet in your pocket?
I'm sorry that I went behind your back.
You're understating it. You betrayed me.
I thought I could trust you.
Shepherd is fully convinced
that she can do a complete resection.
She's convinced...
Shepherd is in a party of one.
If there's even the slightest bit of hope,
don't you want to know that?
Robbins, can you name the single worst,
most malignant symptom of terminal cancer?
It's hope.
It's recurrent, and it
keeps creeping back in,
no matter how many times
it gets ripped apart.
Mayo gave me hope in a
phase 3 clinical trial.
It failed.
N.Y.U. hoped that radiosurgery would work.
It didn't.
And Barrow had high, high hopes
for a potent combination
of chemo and ablation.
No go.
And every time the hope goes,
it takes chunks of you with it,
until you can only find comfort
in the one thing that you
know you can count on...
that this thing is gonna kill you.
So you tell Shepherd to
keep her hope to herself.
Better yet, tell her where to stick it.
Okay. Let's start the anastomoses.
Yep. 4-0 prolene.
Husband says there's
no history of diabetes.
Anything else?
Uh, yeah.
She's been exhausted,
forgetful, stressed...
running around, taking care of the kids...
I don't know. Maybe she snapped.
Well, running around
taking care of her kids
doesn't sound like a mom
who's about to kill herself,
in my experience.
Hmm.
It doesn't make sense.
Her blood-sugar levels were
so low when she came in.
My mother always used to say,
"the pancreas is the self-destruct button
of the body."
And her pancreas was really friable.
And her husband said she's been forgetful.
I bet there's a tumor on that pancreas.
Insulinoma.
That would explain her anxiety,
confusion, erratic behavior.
That would explain everything.
Yeah.
I need to call your parents, Jack.
[Scoffs]
[Sighs]
Look, you're scared.
You think you're in trouble now.
But believe me,
the longer you wait, the worse it'll be.
Look.
Your parents are scared right now,
wondering where you are.
A-and they're getting more
and more scared by the minute.
When they finally see you,
they'll be so relieved.
But...
I mean, all that fear
has got to go somewhere.
All that fear will turn
into white-hot anger
that will banish you to a world
with no video games forever.
- [Sighs]
- Trust me.
I have a little boy, too.
I'm a brick wall.
Give me your cellphone.
I'm 7.
Would you give your 7-year-old a cellphone?
Look, I am trying to help you.
If you don't cooperate,
then I'll have to call
Child Protective Services.
Do you know what that means?
[Slurps]
Hey, you want to do this the hard way?
Then I will make that call.
You do what you've got to do.
I stole a car once when I was 12.
Didn't make it two blocks.
[Chuckles] What stopped you?
A dumpster.
Mm. First time I stole a
car, I sideswiped the mirror.
First time?
Second time, I ran out of gas.
Third, I got away with it.
- Fourth...
- Fourth?
Flat tire.
- Are you messing with me?
- No.
Was there a fifth?
Yeah. I lived in that one.
[Chuckles]
[Alarm beeping]
- Damn it.
- What just happened?
Mesentery's bleeding like
crazy. We got to open him up.
I thought that's what
we were trying to avoid.
We got no choice. We got to get in
there, and we got to get in there now.
10 blade.
10 blade!
[Beeping continues]
Are you almost done here?
I've got two tib-fib fractures
and an l45 compression
fracture in trauma 4.
Okay. Hang on.
All right, I'm gonna count to three,
and then I'll do it, okay?
Okay.
You ready? Yeah.
One... Two...
[Crack] Aah!
Ah. Always better when
you don't see it coming.
Go ahead and put a shoulder
sling on him, please.
All right, Kepner. What's next?
I already told you, if
you'd been listening.
What is going on?
I'm fine.
No, you're not, and I know
because I'm the queen of taking my
personal crap out on other people...
especially you.
It looks like this. What's going on?
I-I don't want to talk about it.
And I don't want you snapping at me.
You can't have a baby.
Excuse me?
And it's what you want.
All you want is to have
a baby and love that baby
and nurture that baby and raise that baby,
and this woman this... Woman
throws her perfectly
healthy kids off of a bridge.
Doesn't that just enrage you?
- April...
- I'm saying...
how are you not screaming
right now at what she's done?
To her kids? To all of these people?!
How is any of this fair?!
April! April.
April.
Okay.
Now...
Patients are waiting.
Greg: Uh...
Will my daughter have a scar
for the rest of her life?
Oh.
I took my time.
Any... any scar, it would be very minimal.
Ah.
Every time she looks in a
mirror, she'll remember this.
My kids...
They lost everything.
They have you.
I don't... I'm not sure how good that is.
Look, I missed this.
You know, I...
Whatever was happening...
With Brooke...
[Voice breaking] I just wasn't seeing it.
You know, you worry about everything.
But I was not prepared for this.
Should I have seen it coming?
[Crying] How could I
have prepared for this?
Why do we want to avoid
putting in another port?
Each incision increases the chances
of rupturing the membranes.
Exactly.
[Door opens]
Hi. Robbins?
Um, sorry to interrupt.
I wanted to ask if I could
meet with you and talk...
you and me and April.
Her hands are a little
full right now, Doctor.
Of course. We're almost done here.
Yeah, I meant after. But soon, please.
I just, um...
I need to be prepared...
For whatever it is.
We need to know everything we can.
Just what it is, what we can do.
Everything.
I'll come find you.
All right.
[Sighs]
My friends... the baby with
osteogenesis imperfecta.
Hmm. I see.
You're clear on what to tell them?
Yeah, I know.
Just remember what I said about hope.
Don't make it any harder
for them than it already is.
[Sighs]
Can you take this, please?
- Robbins.
- I am done here.
Robbins!
Meredith: They examined every slice?
I stood in path and watched them.
Have them do it again.
I did. There's no evidence of insulinoma.
[Sighs]
Get me the ultrasound.
The tumor is in here.
It doesn't have to be.
The husband says she was
stressed and overtaxed.
Sounds like she was headed
for a nervous breakdown.
It sounds like she's a mother, Owen.
Where is that ultrasound?
I'm just saying,
people have breakdowns for all kinds of...
Owen. Shut up.
You're not gonna find anything.
I'm not?
Give me your hand.
[Gasps]
What's that, right there?
It's... it's tiny.
Feels like the head of a pin.
Right. But it's there. I knew it was there.
Excellent work, Dr. Grey.
Edwards. Scrub in.
Okay.
[Chuckles]
Whew!
Hmm.
[Siren wailing]
[Video game music playing]
[Beep, music stops]
Give me your phone.
I don't have a phone.
Give me your phone!
It's not mine. It's Dylan's.
This is not a game, Jack.
Your brother is very badly hurt.
He is lying open on an operating table,
with two doctors working
very hard to save his life!
There are no restart buttons.
There's no replays.
This is not a game.
When it's over, it's over. It's real.
Now, he needs his parents!
So what are you gonna do?
[Voice breaking] It's all my fault.
I wanted to go to the ice-cream shop,
and I asked him to drive me there.
I want to go home.
I want my mom.
[Sniffles]
Meredith: She should wake up soon.
A tumor?
Benign, but it secretes Insulin,
which causes major
fluctuations in glucose levels.
And that was...
the exhaustion, the
confusion, the forgetfulness...
The accident.
It was the tumor.
And it's gone now.
[Sighs]
I'm sorry.
I should have never thought it.
Not for one second.
I should have never thought
that you would hurt them.
I'm sorry.
It's only 4:00 A.M. there.
I told Cristina to go, too.
It was the only thing to do.
She had to go.
If she'd stayed, it would have been worse.
I know that now.
[Sighs]
Tell her "hello" for me.
Robbins, you don't ever walk out of an O.R.
in the middle of a procedure... ever.
You have a shot! You have a chance!
And it may be small and it may
be risky, but it's a chance.
A chance that my friends
would give anything to have,
and you're ignoring it you're wasting it.
[Door locks]
[Sighs]
[Sobs]
[Crying]
[Sighs]
[Sniffles]
[Door unlocks]
Dr. Grey?
I'm still here.
Lynn... the nanny?
Oh! Lynn!
I'm sorry.
You're still here?
I am.
[Groans]
It's fine.
Uh, now, tell me what it is you're needing.
Uh, I, um...
I need, uh, help with the kids, obviously.
More specifically... ?
Uh, I need...
Support.
My life and my work is very unpredictable.
And I need someone who understands that
and who can be there when I can't
and who understands
that if I can't be there,
it's because I must be where I am.
And I need someone who believes in that
and who supports that.
[Sighs]
I need a person...
Who is in it with me...
And who believes in that.
And I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I know...
[Voice breaking] I seem like I'm crazy.
And I'm... I'm really not.
But... I've just had this day.
No, no, no.
[Sighs]
It's okay.
[Sighs]
[Computers beeping]
Let's talk.
See this here? This linear hypointensity?
It is a CSF plane.
That's what can give me a clean dissection.
If I leave behind one
billionth of a malignancy,
the tumor will be back,
so I am going to have to
use every tool in the box...
cusa, lasers, fluoroscein,
radioactive seeds.
I will not stop until I
have completely decimated
each and every last cell.
Chief?
What do you think?
It is...
Complex, and it is risky.
I see three scenarios here.
One, Shepherd operates
and I die on the table.
Two, Shepherd operates
and resects something she shouldn't
and I wake up gorked.
And three... least likely of all...
Shepherd operates,
removes all of the tumor,
and I wake up alive, deficit-free.
Am I right?
Yes.
But as I...
how far does the tumor need to reach
before it becomes impossible
to resect in its entirety?
Nicole...
We need to do this now.
How far?
[Sighs]
Once it goes through the optic apparatus
and breaches the hypothalamus,
there's no way... I won't touch it.
If... if you clot or bleed...
it's too risky.
Great. Then, we wait.
And when the tumor starts
threatening the optic nerve
and heading to the
hypothalamus, you can operate.
That is a dangerous plan.
It's a stupid plan. This is the plan.
You get at my tumor,
you get at my knowledge,
I get at my life.
Everyone's happy.
When did the parents get here?
A few minutes ago.
I'm waiting to see if they
hug that kid or slap him.
[Chuckles]
You're a really good mom.
What makes you say that?
I mean, you've been riding me all day,
making sure I don't screw up.
Crap, you've been doing it for years.
It sucks, it's annoying, but...
It's nice.
[Scoffs]
Tuck stole a candy bar
a couple of weeks ago.
I only found out about it last night.
I got so mad. I yelled at him.
Turns out, Ben already made him
go back to the store and
pay for the damn thing.
I didn't even know about it.
I mean, I'm so busy at work,
I haven't been there to...
how do I watch out for my
own kid if I'm not even there?
Huh? How do I do that?
I stole a bunch of stuff.
I turned out okay.
Take her up to the I.C.U. and
check her coags every hour.
Nurse: Yes, Doctor.
[Sighs]
Who's next?
That's it.
Take a look at the board, babe.
Everyone's been either
admitted or discharged.
No, there were... there were
at least 25 patients here.
And you treated every one.
It's damn good you were down here.
Listen, um...
You and I have a real
chance here, you know?
We're able to see this thing coming.
Then we are gonna find
out exactly what it is
and prepare ourselves.
I already talked to Arizona.
She's gonna sit down with us.
We're gonna get some answers.
I already have answers.
Jackson, I spent all night looking it up.
I pulled case study after case study.
Yeah, I did the same thing,
but those are other cases.
There are four types of
osteogenesis imperfecta,
ranging from a manageable
disability to completely fatal.
Types II and III are the most severe.
I'm talking about our baby.
So am I.
I studied my ultrasounds.
Best case...
our kid gets surgery after surgery.
Worst case... our kid lives
only minutes after birth.
Mm-hmm.
I don't... I don't need answers.
What I needed today was just...
To do something,
to treat things I could treat,
to help people I could help.
[Sighs]
At the very least, undo some of the damage
this lunatic woman did to her kids
and all of these people here.
She had a tumor.
It turns out she had an insulinoma.
Causes cognitive deficits.
Hunt told me all about it.
Look, she was not trying to hurt anyone.
She had...
no control.
[Sighs]
Why?
[Thunder rumbles]
Why would that happen?
Why would God give her
kids, give her a family,
and let that...
why would God let that happen?!
I-I don't understand it!
You can do everything right,
and I-it doesn't even...
[Sighs] Why?
I don't know.
[Sighs]
I don't know.
I... I just... I don't want you to hold me,
'cause if you hold me, I'll start to cry,
and I don't want to start crying.
'Cause if I start crying, I...
I will not be able to stop.
I will never be able to stop.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Whatever you need...
I'm here.
[Sobs]
[Voice breaking] Did I
tell you that it's a boy?
[Crying] We're having a boy.
[Ella Eyre's "If I go" plays]
When shock wears off...
[Crying]
When the body can accept
that a trauma has happened...
♪ I could play any game for you ♪
When it can let down its defenses...
♪ ... what you want me to ♪
♪ I could lie ♪
[Ringing]
Are you there?
Uh, no. I'm about to, um...
Meredith?
I don't want to fight anymore.
[Sighing] Oh, I don't, either.
And I don't want you gone.
I know that I told you to go, but...
I mean... this isn't us.
This isn't how we end, is it?
I don't want it to.
I'm trying.
I'm trying, too.
Listen, my flight's been delayed all day.
I'm still at the airport. I can come home.
It's a scary moment.
Do I come home?
What do we want to promise each other?
That you'll love me, even when you hate me.
"To love each other, even
when we hate each other."
It's vulnerable.
No. No, go.
Meredith.
You know, in... in in a good way. Go.
And do what you have to do.
We can do this. People do this.
No running ever.
Nobody walks out, no matter what happens.
People do, yes.
Okay.
So, go and do what you have to do.
And we will figure this out.
We can do this.
We can do this.
Okay.
Okay.
Call me when you land.
And, Derek?
Yes?
I'm going to miss you.
This can work. We will make this work.
We will.
[Static] Are you still there?
Meredith?
Mer... [Groans]
Meredith? Meredith, I'm losing you.
Derek?
[Beep]
♪ ... will it end? ♪
♪ Will you leave me again? ♪
♪ If I go ♪
This... is... forever.
Sign.
♪ But if I go ♪
Now what?
Now I kiss the bride.
♪ ... until I can? ♪
♪ Do you know, will you want me? ♪
♪ Will you want me like that? ♪
♪ And if I leave, will it end? ♪
♪ Will you leave me again? ♪
The shock response had protected us...
♪ If I go, will you love me? ♪
And it just might have saved us.