Greek (2007–2011): Season 4, Episode 9 - Agents for Change - full transcript
Frannie returns with a promise she can't keep.
Previously on Greek...
Can't we just admit
we both made some mistakes,
- and move on?
- I deserve better.
- Even Casey thinks so.
- Chambers.
It's no free pass,
being the progeny of the elite.
I believe it took JFK Jr.
Three tries to pass the bar.
- Dale's pledging Omega Chi.
- Maybe they were the ones who called the cops
on our rush party, to get
back at us for spring break.
They're definitely messing with Dale.
His being a pledge, it's all a lie
to get back at you for spring break.
Now, Dale's gonna embarrass himself
- at the Pledge Talent Show.
- In the market for a marketing job?
Actually, yeah.
Do you know anyone who's hiring?
- Me! - If you're to proud to
accept help from time to time,
- then you really are a terrible president.
- Tegan doesn't think
that I can do this on my own.
I have to prove that I can.
To Tegan or to you?
The Stanford girls have a
three-eight cumulative GPA,
and completed
a major beach clean-up.
Well, according to
their Facebook photos,
the only trash they picked up
were some local surfers.
Sisters, give it a rest.
The votes are tallied.
And the finalists are...
ZBZ Boston University,
Epsilon Rho chapter,
ZBZ San Diego State,
Gamma chapter.
And the final chapter is...
Where the hell is Cyprus-Rhodes?
Send out the emails.
Drop what you're chewing
and listen up!
I just got an email
from Nationals.
We are... finalists
for the Golden Lily!
- This is awesome!
- So deserved!
- What's a Golden Lily?
- The Golden Lily is like Nationals'
Congressional Medal of Honor, given to
the best ZBZ chapter in the nation.
- Including Puerto Rico and Guam.
- Wow, given our past,
I guess everyone loves
a comeback story.
The Grand Council is visiting each
finalist's house before voting,
and we're up this weekend, which
means I'll need all hands on deck,
- including house mother hands.
- Oh, absolutely.
We could host a nice tea,
put out the china.
Tea's not going to win us
the Golden Lily, Case.
As you said, we're the underdogs
and I hate being the underdog.
We need something big to show the
Grand Council what we can do
- with just a few days notice.
- What are you thinking, Becks?
Laura, I want a bouquet of lilies
waiting in the Council's hotel rooms
the minute they arrive.
Borrow from the scholarship fund if you have to.
- Can I finish eating first?
- No. Everyone else,
start brainstorming ideas
for an event.
We'll have a strategy
meeting tomorrow.
I don't care if we
have to kidnap
Mary Beth Gentrie-Manning's
granddaughters,
let's make this happen, girls.
Oh, um, you were joking about the
kidnapping her granddaughters thing, right?
Duh! M.B.G.M.
Only has grandsons.
But I need to win this, Case.
This is my chance to prove to Tegan
and all my doubters at Nationals
- that I am a good leader.
- I get it.
Thanks. And you'll be
at that strategy meeting.
- Well, I have class, but...
- That wasn't a question.
Becks, how can the pledges help?
Walk with me, poodle.
"Poodle?"
That's it!
Yeah! Keep going!
Please don't be her.
Higher! Higher!
Whoo! Higher!
Higher!
- What's going on?
- We're seeing who can jump the longest!
- How long have you been going for?
- Twenty-five...
seconds.
You wanna jump on?
Show us what you got?
- Oh, I got a lot!
- Yeah!
Whoa! Hey!
♪ I am an aeroplane ♪
♪ Point me at the sky ♪
♪ I am gazelle sprint ♪
♪ Running away
from the policeman ♪
- Ah! Synchronize jumps!
- Copy that!
- Synchronizing!
- And... go!
Anthony Hopkins,
they're all sitting up there.
- We were just jumping on the bed.
- Yeah, like this.
- It was like...
- Beav, maybe you shouldn't.
- ...synchronizing...
- Holy crap, Beav!
- Whoa!
- God!
Oh, no, no! It's
holding my blood! Don't!
I can't watch.
It's fine.
It just went through
your pants, man.
Well, while you guys were
playing True Blood,
I was on the phone with our national
rep trying to get money for repairs.
- What'd he say? - After he reminded
me that we're already on thin ice
for having one pledge
and being on academic probation,
he said he was excited to see how
we're gonna handle this on our own.
So we can thank our mysterious
saboteur, Villain X.
Well, if Trip's telling the truth
and it wasn't the Omega Chis,
then who the hell
is messing with us?
Mr. Spitter, I got big news!
Maybe it can wait.
- What's up? - I was in freshman physics
and I overheard Professor Hastings
talking about how some company is interested
in buying your self-healing wire patent.
Seriously? Did he say who?
Yeah, uh, Chambers lnternational?
Ever heard of them?
Chambers lnternational
creates evil things
like vertically integrated
telecommunications monopolies,
- and jerks named Evan. - What would the
Dark Lord's empire want with your wire?
It's not my wire anymore.
But I'd like to know what's happening with it.
I deserve to know.
Ah, a boy and his wire.
The unconventional
love story of the summer.
You know what? I think I know someone
who can help us out with the house.
Well, I'm gonna go do something
I really don't want to do:
Talk to a Chambers.
- Hey, Ash.
- Hi.
- I have some big news.
- Me, too!
Working for Clarissa's
marketing company isn't lame.
I got her off that mobisode kick,
she totally loves all my ideas
and I even brought
in my first client today.
- Pouty Plump Lip Gloss.
OK, so your turn. Go. - Yay!
OK. Did you hear
about the Golden Lily?
Oh, are they delivering now?
'Cause I could really go for some moo shu.
No, ZBZ is nominated
for the Golden Lily Award
- for the best chapter in the nation!
- Oh, right. Yes.
- Including Puerto Rico and Guam.
That's great. - Mm-hm.
- So great. It's just, um...
- Guam has a kick-ass house?
No. It's Rebecca.
She's super determined to win.
She's dipping into
the scholarship fund,
ordering around sisters
like they're lackeys.
It kinda reminded me of...
- ...Frannie. - OK. I know it's
your job to look out for the house,
but don't you think you're
overreacting, like, a little?
It's a really big awar Of
course she's gung ho on winning.
OK, maybe you're right,
but it's weird.
Would you just come
with me to the meeting?
If for nothing more then to
lend the house your expertise.
Well, I am pretty expertise-y
now that I'm dominating
the marketing world of the
lower central Rust Belt, so...
Exactly.
OK, do you still want to order
Chinese? 'Cause I could eat.
Trip, if I didn't know any better, I
would say you've been avoiding me.
Yeah, because I don't need to
hear your whole Team Dale rant.
You've made your feelings perfectly
clear about the Pledge Talent Show.
Did you really think I was just
gonna let you humiliate my friend
in front of the
entire Greek system?
You don't let me do anything.
I'm president now, not you.
Back off, Owens!
No. You started all this when
you gave Dale a fake bid!
We only messed with him to get revenge for
spring break, which you were a part of!
Are you saying
this is all my fault?
I'm saying we're even with Rusty
and the KTs, so let it go.
Look, Dale is gone,
but you're not.
Yeah? Not yet.
- What do you want?
- I came to talk.
It's not about my sister
or the fraternities.
It's actually
about your family.
Make it quick.
It's about my self-healing wire,
which I'm sure you've heard of.
- It was a pretty big breakthrough.
- I'll take your word for it.
Well, the university thought enough of it to
take it from me and give it to a research team,
but now your dad's company
is buying the patent.
- What do you want from me? - I just want you
to find out what they plan to do with it.
I don't know, Rusty. I haven't spoken
to my parents in almost a year,
and I'm not
gonna start for you.
I'm not asking you
to make up with them.
I was just hoping you could tell
me what they're doing with it.
No. Now, get out.
I can't imagine why your parents wouldn't want
to talk to a kind, selfless son like you.
Rusty, I'd go now, before paddles
start coming off the wall.
OK, we need to show Nationals
just what CRU ZBZ can accomplish.
Charity fundraiser.
My father always used to say,
what good is altruism
if you can't benefit from it?
Thoughts?
- Laura.
- I was thinking...
Can you lean back
so I can see Casey?
Oh, yeah, I think
that sounds like a great idea.
Our chapter has had a history
of successful philanthropy.
And there are so many great
causes. Literacy,
- women's rights...
- Tree frogs.
- Huh? - Mary Beth
Gentrie-Manning's favorite charity
- is the Foundation for the Amazon Red-Eyed Tree Frog.
- Pandering through charity.
I like it. Good job, Heather.
You pledges could
learn from her.
But we can't just do our usual lame
theme party, carnival, dance, whatever.
I think we should do
a big benefit concert.
Anybody know if the
stadium's available?
That's pretty ambitious.
- Don't you think, Ash?
- That is a lot of people.
A lot of people who might
want to try Pouty Plump,
the new up-and-coming
lip gloss line I'm working with.
It makes your lips bigger,
it only burns a little.
I'm sure once they hear
"sorority," they'll totally want
to donate free product
and sponsor us.
Totally. What?
I think realistically we're not going
to get the stadium in a day's notice.
How about the backyard?
We can hardly fit
a hundred people there.
But if we charge
$500 a person...
We'll need a great performer.
Well, this guy in my
English class has a friend
who has a workout partner who is
good friends with Drew Lachey.
Fortunately, I've contacted one of
our alums who I'm hoping can help.
She lives in Los Angeles and works
in the entertainment industry.
Oh, here she is now!
Everyone, I'd like you
to please welcome back...
Oh, my God.
- Frannie!?
- Hi, girls. Miss me?
Oh, my God, look at this place.
Look at you guys.
Laura! Hi.
Well, Frannie,
I haven't seen you since...
you tried to have me expelled.
But it didn't work,
'cause I graduated, so... yay.
I'm sorry about that, Ash.
But congratulations, though!
So, yeah, it's been a while.
Yes, it has.
So, um, what exactly
are you up to now?
Oh, I actually work at CAA.
Chi Alpha Alpha?
Creative Artists Agency.
One of the world's
largest talent agencies.
You thought this
organization had secrets?
Oh, wow.
They rep all the big names.
Reese, Alyssa, Hillary.
- They're all over US Weekly.
- Frannie came here to help out.
- It's what I do. I represent.
- For which sorority?
We all know I wasn't
a model ZBZ my last two years.
My leaving and starting
the I-Kaps was bad, I know.
So when Rebecca called and said you guys
were nominated for the Golden Lily,
- I pulled a weekend vacay.
- We're throwing a benefit concert
- for the Amazon red-eyed tree frogs.
- Oh, Mary Beth's fave.
Wow, I can't believe
I actually still remember that.
Well, we're pretty much all set,
except for booking a performer,
but Laura is close, personal
friends with Drew Lachey...
Not gonna happen. He's doing a reality
bass fishing show in Wyoming.
I helped package it. I don't
want to step on any toes,
but I could get
a guest performer.
Maybe... Justin Bieber?
- Seriously?
- Seriously?! I love him!
The kid owes me for a booking I did.
It's just a matter of making a call.
- Well, we might...
- Bieber me.
So you know that dream where you're naked
and the whole school is laughing at you?
They're applauding, but go on.
Well, Trip and some of his crew,
they made that come true for Dale.
- And then they kicked him out.
- They dung him out?
Yeah. I'm so tired of their crap.
I'm gonna quit, too.
Wait, so you're caving to
those losers propping up Trip?
For a guy who talks about wanting to
make a difference and change the world,
Cal, you're just
not showing me that much.
It's not the world.
It's a fraternity.
Of which you've been a member
for over two years.
The purpose of the house is to
build guys up, not tear them down.
Oh, not anymore. We've become that cliché,
jerk fraternity that everybody hates.
Well, then do something about it.
For the house and for Dale.
Tackle Trip and those guys head on and be a leader.
Trust me, you're doing them a favor.
Like you helping Rusty?
Can't you just find out what your
dad's company is gonna do with it?
It would mean
talking to my parents.
You mean, "tackling
the problem head on"?
As you can see, the Kappa Tau house
truly is a historical landmark.
That's what
I'm here to find out.
An historical grant would
definitely help repair
and preserve
this natural wonder.
Not that these
gentlemen are desperate.
Thank God you're here.
This is the Lasker Parkes,
world-renowned software mogul,
and this is his birthplace.
Well, no, actually, that would
be Punta Gorda, Florida.
But this room is where I got the idea for my
first educational application, "Piece of Math."
You see, I was tutoring
some sorority girls.
- You called my dad? - Yeah.
And he came right away. Is he great or what?
- "Let's talk. Evan."
- Let's not talk Evan.
Have I showed you
our historical asbestos?
- Come this way.
- Right this way.
Rebecca! I can't believe
you invited Frannie.
- You hated her! - A necessary evil.
I want that Golden Lily.
You used Frannie's playbook
with Tegan and it worked.
I skipped the playbook and called the coach.
And she delivered.
What makes you think we can trust her?
I mean, Justin Bieber?
A Bieber in the hand is worth
two Lacheys in the bush.
- I don't know what that means.
- Look, if she double-crosses us,
we blame her publicly and
get Nationals' sympathy vote.
Oh! Sorry.
- Looks serious.
- Actually, it is.
- Becks and I were just talking about...
- Bieber, Bieber!
Can't wait.
Thank you, Frannie!
How crazy is this, huh?
You, me, Ash, all back
here from the real world.
- So where are you living now?
- Upstairs. I'm the house mom.
Oh. Great. Anyway, um,
Ashleigh and I are gonna
hit up Dobler's, catch up.
- Why don't you come?
- Ashleigh, really?
Yeah, I can't. There's still a
lot of Golden Lily stuff to do.
We can do that, too. I need to get you up
to speed on the rider in Justin's contract.
- A rider is... - I know what a
rider is, I am in law school.
You're in law school? See, we have so
much to catch up on. And it'll be on CAA.
I'll just say I'm doing research for a series
about the Greek system or some crap like that.
Yeah. Look, Frannie, last week
Rebecca won the Pledge Talent Show
by using the same slutty dance you
made her do when she was a pledge.
And then I hear she threatened to
burn down the Gamma Psi house again.
- What do you mean again?
- The point is, Rebecca is going a little...
you, and it's starting
to affect the pledges.
And I worry you being here, giving
her tips from your playbook,
- it's just gonna make things worse.
- That was the old me.
- I've changed.
- We'll see about that.
- OK, who's ready for alumni lady drinks?
- I could use a drink.
Whoa! This is where you grew up?
- You are Lex Luthor.
- I heard that.
Just like I had to hear NPR's Science
Friday the whole drive down.
All right, so here's the deal.
I'm letting my parents
think I'm here to make amends.
So don't bring up
the wire right away.
- So you're lying to them?
- Rusty,
this is how you deal with them.
You don't tip your hand too soon.
All right?
Just let me handle it.
- Evan?
- Mom.
- You look good.
- Thanks.
- Your hair's shorter.
- It's been a year.
- So who is this?
- Oh, this is my buddy, Rusty Cartwright.
- Yeah, good buddies.
- Cartwright? Um...
- Stacy's brother?
- Casey.
- Casey.
- Right.
- Is Dad home?
- Oh, he'll be around.
Come on in.
We'll get reacquainted.
Thank you.
Rusty.
- So, Evan, how's law school?
- It's good.
You still thinking about
running for office one day?
I have a friend
in our state senator's...
Actually, I think I'm gonna
practice law instead.
Mm. That's good water,
Mrs. Chambers.
It's the best I've ever had.
So, um, what are your
favorite classes?
Uh, constitutional
law's interesting.
Torts. Contract law.
You know, one of the contracts
the company signed
was for a self-healing wire
that Rusty here invented.
Yeah. He was wondering what
you're gonna use it for.
So this isn't
just a friendly visit?
All right. You're up.
Well, as the inventor,
I was hoping that you could...
A year goes by,
we don't see you,
and now you just show up
to talk about electronics?
- It's not just electronics.
- If I'd known this was a business meal,
- I would have come prepared.
- Jonathan...
Excuse me.
- What are you doing?
- I'm helping you with your stupid wire.
- What's it look like? - It looks like
you're trying to piss off your parents.
Back off, Rusty.
I'm doing this for you, OK?
So just shut up
and let me handle it.
So, law school! That was always
the original plan, right?
Are you back to the original
plan with Evan Chambers?
Actually, I'm with Cappie.
Oh. Great.
And you,
you're already an agent.
- Didn't you just graduate last year?
- I slept my way to the top.
That was a joke.
We need some drinks! What
is up with the service today?
- It was never this bad when I worked here.
- You worked here?
Yeah, for, like, a week or two.
Then I got fired for breaking in.
But I think they're over it.
So I'm gonna go grab us some drinks.
Maybe even on the house.
Ash, I can do it.
I can really... I can... OK.
I guess even after a year, things
are still awkward with us.
- I'm really trying.
- Why?
Because you're
the reason I'm here.
- Me? - Don't look so surprised.
I sent you like a dozen emails
after I graduated,
but you never responded.
Rebecca told me she called you, I
didn't realize it was from downstairs.
I thought coming here would
give us a chance to reconnect.
You and I were friends once,
and so much has changed.
- I'm a different person.
- Yeah, I'm different, too.
I mean, I'm still here.
That's the same.
And I'm still living in the
house. That's the same, too.
- But I'm different in so many other ways.
- I'm sure you are.
I just wanted you to know
that I've missed you.
OK, so the girl at the bar
still seemed really mad at me.
So I guess they're not over it.
Oh, God, you don't think
they spit in it, do you?
How about a beer
in a bottle instead?
There is only true messiah,
and his name is Jesus.
There is only one.
Hey, Dale. What are you doing?
Reacquainting myself with the only
institution that ever accepted me.
OK, look. Omega Chi
did not reject you.
- A few bad apples did.
- Trip's more of an orange.
Like a blood orange
I'd like to squeeze dry.
OK. Well, yeah,
let's not take this lying down.
The whole house humiliated me.
Trip and his friends
are not the whole house.
They took everything that was
good away from Omega Chi,
and I want it back,
but I cannot do it alone.
Do whatever you want, but
don't expect any help from me.
I've turned down my collars,
I'm done.
- What about the future Mrs.
Dale Kettlewell? - I've hung that up, too.
I'm don't think Laura's an option
now that I'm not an Omega Chi.
Uh, well, I don't know
about Laura, but what about
all the things that you
learned at Omega Chi?
Brotherhood? Honor? All that?
Why should I believe it
if they don't?
The only reason I rushed is 'cause
Evan said loyalty and camaraderie
make fraternities more than just a
place to drink beer and chase girls.
- I can't believe I ever bought any of that bunk.
- It's not bunk to me.
At least it wasn't.
I don't think it has to be.
...Jesus Christ!
So your mother's very happy
that you agreed
to spend the night.
Well, you know,
she's hard to say no to.
Well, you came all this way to talk
business, let's talk business.
Before you get too excited,
we buy dozens of patents
for healing cable insulation,
and the crap never pans out.
- So we scrap it. - My wire doesn't just
heal its insulation, it keeps conducting.
We're not looking for creative
control or net profit participation,
but by involving the original creator,
you have access to the origins...
No offense, but why do I need
access to the original origins?
The past is irrelevant.
I own it.
Evan, you're appealing
to me personally when...
Personal relationships always take
a back seat to professional ones.
I forgot that one, Dad.
That's the Chambers rule, isn't it?
You couldn't have
called us once? In a year?
We're your parents.
Yeah, it's not exactly like my
phone was ringing off the hook.
- No one's asked me how I've been doing on my own.
- I know how you're doing.
You live in a five-by-nine dorm room,
$304 in your checking account,
good grades, despite getting your butt
trounced by your ex in mock trial last week.
- You've been spying on me?
- Checking up on my son.
None of your sons
are even speaking to you.
Do you think that's all on us?
Maybe you and Mom should take a
look at yourselves for a change.
Maybe we should just
talk about the wire.
I don't wanna talk about your damn wire!
I wanna talk to my son!
Good night, Dad.
- Well?
- I'm sorry, guys.
The inspector is determined that she's not
gonna declare our house a historical landmark.
And that's not
even the bad part.
She also said the house
should be condemned.
Condemned?! Is this
about the rat problem?
Tell her we just recently
lost our pet snake.
No, the whole house
is the problem.
It either has to be fixed up
or it'll have to be torn down.
- Torn down?! - The city can't risk
somebody getting hurt in there.
- What about in here?
- Wait. Can we appeal?
- My girlfriend makes straight As in law school.
- There is one solution.
If Nationals won't pay for repairs,
suppose somebody just buys it from them,
- fixes it up?
- Yeah, who'd give a bat's ass about KT?
- I meant me.
- You'd do that?
Well, I don't throw my money
around at just any cause,
but if my house is about to hit the
wrecking ball, then yeah, I would do that.
Lasker's buying the house.
We're saved!
Goodbye, Shanty Tau!
Oh, my God,
I didn't want to say anything,
but I've been praying for it.
Well, your prayers
have been answered.
The Amazing Spider-Man
doesn't look too amazed.
- Papa Parkes just saved the house.
- It's great.
I'm just used to it. My dad saving the day
is kind of a recurring theme in my life.
- You want to get out of here?
- You don't want to stay and celebrate?
You know how many times
I've saved this dump?
Besides, I know a sorority
where the food is hot
and the women are cold.
No. No, they're both hot.
Come on. Let's go.
Adequate.
More flowers over here.
Who's on pillow poofing?
Poofier! Poofier!
- Heather, I love that top.
- Thanks, Rebecca.
It looks just like the one JWOWW wore when
she was beating up that girl in that club.
Go change now. The Council
will be here any minute.
You know, Becks,
in managing people,
I've learned you get a lot more out of them
if you at least pretend to respect them.
Oh, really? Is that why your IKI house
turned into a bunch of slutty losers
and totally imploded? Was
it your management skills?
Wow.
The old me never said
anything that bitchy.
Yes, you did. To Laura.
Sophomore year.
Why do you think
she bites her nails?
Hey. So this is pretty
exciting, isn't it?
Four ZBZ presidents coming together to make
this the number one chapter in the nation.
- Yeah, you're goin' down, Guam.
- OK, we have a small problem.
- Bieber canceled.
- What?!
He's flying to New York
to do The View.
- Oh, my God.
- Well, how do you say no to Whoopi?
- I knew this was too good to be true.
- OK, relax.
- It's not the Golden Globes.
- No, it's just the Golden Lily.
- It's bigger for us.
- That is so sad.
You know what's sad, is you coming here
and messing with us all over again.
- Once a sociopath, always...
- Rebecca...
OK, the only reason you're even
president of this stupid house
is because I courted you, poodle!
Oh, my God,
what's happening to me?
I don't know, I mean, you're
just so totally different.
I was trying to help!
- Madame President! Welcome!
- Hello!
Thank you. Oh, sisters,
it is so wonderful to be here
at such an impressive chapter.
And to think, Justin Bieber, too!
- I can't wait!
- Oh, neither can we!
Hey.
I should have known you weren't helping
me out of the goodness of your heart.
And I shouldn't have let my
feelings get in the way last night.
I should have just stuck to
the facts like any good lawyer.
Instead of caring
about my mom and dad.
And Rebecca. That's what
you meant about putting
personal stuff second, right?
Whatever.
It's probably a good thing that
you got that off your chest.
You obviously wanted to show
them you don't need them.
I don't need them.
But they already knew that.
They've been stalking
me this whole time.
I don't think they're stalking
you. It's more like checking up.
It's like me with my wire.
I saw it through breakthroughs
and setbacks, and one time,
it lanced my nipple.
But even when it ticked
me off, I stuck with it.
I'm not trying to control it,
I can't, it isn't mine anymore.
I just want to make sure
that it'll be OK.
- Is there a point in there?
- So you can either accept them for who they are
and know that they care about you, or you
can keep them out of your life for good.
- So, what are gonna do about your wire?
- My wire's gone.
But you can still
get your parents back.
Just let me bring
in someone else!
I think the guy from Castle is
visiting his grandmother in Toledo.
- I can make a call.
- In an hour? Just stop.
You're not going to do that, just like
you were never going to get Bieber.
I had Justin Bieber.
Then how did you lose him?
You said you were his agent!
OK, technically, I never said I was his agent.
Or an agent at all.
I'm an assistant. And when he found
out the call was coming from me
and not one of the agents, the little
pipsqueak bailed for The View.
You let us think that you were his agent
and that this could've really happen!
That is so typical you.
You haven't changed at all.
So I embellished
a little to impress you,
but you're so stuck seeing
everything the way you always did.
Casey, you're the only person
who hasn't changed!
Hey, everybody!
Kappa Tau is saved.
Do you guys have any
of that honey ham I like?
Proving my point.
I can't believe you're
still dating this guy.
And I can't believe
I actually still care.
I so seriously need
to get back to LA.
Oh, it's nice
to see you, too, Frannie.
This is Pledge Spidey.
Please don't turn him to stone.
We lost Bieber.
If we ever had him.
No Bieber? Oh, that blows.
I mean, I have a friend
who wanted an autograph.
What?
Cap, can we borrow him?
That concludes old business.
Which brings us
to Saturday's mixer.
I'm hearing the ladies of Tri-Pi are chomping
at the bit to score with you gentlemen.
- What gentlemen?
- Oh, are we getting another one
of those patented
Owens diatribes?
If you don't like it here,
you can leave.
- You know what? I think I will.
- Don't do that.
Speaking of people
who can't take a hint...
Can it, Prince Harry.
You're gonna hear me out.
I trusted you guys as my brothers.
And Trip, you were my big brother,
the most sacred role of all.
And you lied to my face
every day for months.
- You made me feel like an ass.
- A big one.
Seriously, guys?
Don't you see the guts that it took for
him to come down here and face you?
That's courage!
That is the Omega Chi
that I want to be a part of.
Without it, we're just a bunch of
guys who drink beer and chase girls.
Sometimes guys. Don't you
want to be more than that?
To be honest,
me and the rest of the pledges,
we really got close to Dale,
and we kinda miss him.
Did anyone
ask the pledges to speak?
Hold up. The pledges are gonna be
running this house in a few years.
We should at least
hear them out.
I'm just saying
Dale's a funny guy.
He's cool.
He didn't deserve
to get the boot.
Especially the
way we booted him.
Seriously? You guys...
That was a wonderful poached
salmon, Mr. and Mrs. Chambers.
- And you have a beautiful home.
- Well, thank you. You take care.
Good luck with all
your future projects.
So, uh, we still have a
little more negotiating to do.
- Evan, please just stop...
- I'm not coming home for Thanksgiving.
I will consider
every other Christmas,
and I don't want your money.
- What do you want?
- I want to be able to call
and talk to you about my life,
about how I screwed up
another relationship,
and the fact that I have been
doing law school on my own,
and how hard that's been.
Deal.
I'm proud of you, son.
I love you guys.
Uh, there is one more thing.
Bieber! Bieber! Bieber!
- Do you think this will work?
- I have no idea.
I'm gonna pretend
you just said "hell, yes!"
Y'all ready to save some frogs?!
- Hey.
- It's going well, isn't it?
Um, I think I
just signed FART as a client...
whose name
I'm going to change tomorrow.
So it's all
good, no thanks to Frannie.
Can you believe she had the nerve to
say I'm the one who hasn't changed?
- Well, you know Frannie...
- You definitely know her
and you don't even seem to care about
all the horrible stuff she did to you.
Well, it was a year ago.
I'm over it.
- Why am I not?
- Because of ZBZ.
Because you still really
care about this place.
And ZBZ means a lot to me, too.
It was a great chance to hang out
with you and all our friends,
and being president was cool.
Cool? For me,
it was... transformative.
Is it wrong to want to give back to the place
that gave me so much of who I am today?
No, it's not wrong, but how much
more are you planning to give?
How amazing is that!
I even got us an autograph.
I think he spelled his name
wrong, but hey, he's only 16.
Can't wait to hear
your decision, Madame President.
Oh, we'll be in touch.
- Pretty awesome, big sis.
- I know, right?
So you pulled off another
signature ZBZ caper.
Yeah, I guess
you were right about me.
- Some things never change.
- How could they?
I've been gone a year,
I'm an assistant at CAA
and I'm back here for 24 hours and
suddenly I'm calling people "poodle"
and worrying about who did what
for some stupid Golden Lily.
- It's not stupid.
- After a while, we have to let it go.
You know, here, all of that
stuff, the mixers, the formals,
the fraternity sweethearts...
it's life and death.
But once you leave,
I mean really leave,
it all becomes nice memories.
For the most part.
I guess you can't be nostalgic
for something you've never left.
So I have to leave
early in the morning.
Get back to the office, cover my
ass over the whole Bieber thing.
Frannie?
Email me when you
get back to LA.
This is Frannie.
Oh, I'm in Ohio. But tomorrow,
I'll be gone like LeBron.
I know, right?
What, you need
help with a satellite now?
Apparently my advisor, Professor
Hastings, got a call from your dad.
He said Chambers lnternational is
pouring a ton of money into my wire.
They really believe in it.
That's great news.
Look, man, I really gotta study.
I'm kind of...
He said I could be a part of
the project when I graduate.
Wow.
- Just like that?
- Yeah.
Did you talk to them?
Well, apparently,
your dad referred
to me as "Evan's friend."
- Friend?
- Yeah, it creeped me out, too.
Told you I could negotiate.
Well, anyways, thanks.
You, too.
I'm gonna step down.
They want Dale, so clearly I don't
have the support of the brothers.
But you do.
So you can be president again.
Happy?
No.
You see, we're pledge brothers.
And I remember when you weren't out to get
people, you actually had their backs.
- Like who?
- Me.
Like the time when I got flowers
in front of the entire house,
and I was horrified, and you
said, "Flowers from a guy?
That's cool."
That set the tone
for the rest of the house.
Everyone was cool, thanks to you.
I never forgot that.
So all of my
"patented diatribes?"
I just want what's
best for the house.
For it to be
a real brotherhood.
Like you used to.
And I don't need to be
president to do that.
So keep your job.
Just try and remember
what it's for.
And that's my last diatribe.
Hey, house mom. The whole house
is going to Dobler's Friday night
to wait for the Golden Lily vote.
You're coming, right?
I think I'm gonna pass.
I thought you'd be excited.
You were such a huge help.
Oh, really? Even though you went
with another coach's playbook?
Right, well, you don't
have to hire an exorcist.
- I'm not turning into Frannie, OK?
- Really? I hadn't noticed.
I might have used some
of her tactics.
The difference is she never cared
about this house the way I do now.
Now that what, you don't
have Evan to care about?
That's not it at all.
I'm just saying, there are
better ways to show you care.
You wanted to show
that you were a good leader.
I think maybe part of that
is leading by example.
- I think I'm a great example.
- Mm-hm...
Maybe I could tone it
down a little.
But I can't promise
it won't happen again.
I've had my share of psycho sorority
sister moments in my day,
putting you through hell
most of your pledging.
So enjoy this place
while you're here,
because one day you're gonna
go off into the big bad world,
and there won't be little sisters to
ream or Golden Lilies to get crazy over.
Guess I'll do a shot for you
if we win the Lily.
I know we'll...
- I know you'll win it.
- Oh, we totally will.
That is, if little Tyler Gentrie-Manning
ever wants to see his nana again.
- Um...
- Kidding.
Well, I'm off
to meet Ash for coffee.
See you later, Becks.
So I take it the evil empire
isn't using your wire
to create nuclear warheads
or cause oil spills?
Actually, they're gonna let me
work on it when I graduate.
- That's great!
- In exchange for what?
Your kidney?
Your first born?
No, Evan totally helped me out.
From one nerd to another, I'm
glad you got your wire back.
I'm happy we got our house back.
Thank your dad for me when you talk to him.
Yeah. My dad's the
hero once again.
Hey, Cap, I got this letter
for you from the university.
It goes in the
extra TP stack, right?
No, I'll take it.
What's up with him?
- Daddy issues.
- I get it.
It's like Evan. Sometimes guys
do stuff to piss off their dads.
You know, the attacks on KT, it
all started rush night, right?
- Yep. - And we were looking for
someone who had the know-how
- to mess with Joshua Whopper.
- And you thought it was Dale?
Because he's a big nerd, right.
Well, maybe we were looking
at the wrong nerd.
Maybe young Mr. Parkes...
is our Villain X.
Spidey? We can totally trust
him. He loves this house.
Hey, don't you think?
Cap?
What's that?
It's nothing.
Can't we just admit
we both made some mistakes,
- and move on?
- I deserve better.
- Even Casey thinks so.
- Chambers.
It's no free pass,
being the progeny of the elite.
I believe it took JFK Jr.
Three tries to pass the bar.
- Dale's pledging Omega Chi.
- Maybe they were the ones who called the cops
on our rush party, to get
back at us for spring break.
They're definitely messing with Dale.
His being a pledge, it's all a lie
to get back at you for spring break.
Now, Dale's gonna embarrass himself
- at the Pledge Talent Show.
- In the market for a marketing job?
Actually, yeah.
Do you know anyone who's hiring?
- Me! - If you're to proud to
accept help from time to time,
- then you really are a terrible president.
- Tegan doesn't think
that I can do this on my own.
I have to prove that I can.
To Tegan or to you?
The Stanford girls have a
three-eight cumulative GPA,
and completed
a major beach clean-up.
Well, according to
their Facebook photos,
the only trash they picked up
were some local surfers.
Sisters, give it a rest.
The votes are tallied.
And the finalists are...
ZBZ Boston University,
Epsilon Rho chapter,
ZBZ San Diego State,
Gamma chapter.
And the final chapter is...
Where the hell is Cyprus-Rhodes?
Send out the emails.
Drop what you're chewing
and listen up!
I just got an email
from Nationals.
We are... finalists
for the Golden Lily!
- This is awesome!
- So deserved!
- What's a Golden Lily?
- The Golden Lily is like Nationals'
Congressional Medal of Honor, given to
the best ZBZ chapter in the nation.
- Including Puerto Rico and Guam.
- Wow, given our past,
I guess everyone loves
a comeback story.
The Grand Council is visiting each
finalist's house before voting,
and we're up this weekend, which
means I'll need all hands on deck,
- including house mother hands.
- Oh, absolutely.
We could host a nice tea,
put out the china.
Tea's not going to win us
the Golden Lily, Case.
As you said, we're the underdogs
and I hate being the underdog.
We need something big to show the
Grand Council what we can do
- with just a few days notice.
- What are you thinking, Becks?
Laura, I want a bouquet of lilies
waiting in the Council's hotel rooms
the minute they arrive.
Borrow from the scholarship fund if you have to.
- Can I finish eating first?
- No. Everyone else,
start brainstorming ideas
for an event.
We'll have a strategy
meeting tomorrow.
I don't care if we
have to kidnap
Mary Beth Gentrie-Manning's
granddaughters,
let's make this happen, girls.
Oh, um, you were joking about the
kidnapping her granddaughters thing, right?
Duh! M.B.G.M.
Only has grandsons.
But I need to win this, Case.
This is my chance to prove to Tegan
and all my doubters at Nationals
- that I am a good leader.
- I get it.
Thanks. And you'll be
at that strategy meeting.
- Well, I have class, but...
- That wasn't a question.
Becks, how can the pledges help?
Walk with me, poodle.
"Poodle?"
That's it!
Yeah! Keep going!
Please don't be her.
Higher! Higher!
Whoo! Higher!
Higher!
- What's going on?
- We're seeing who can jump the longest!
- How long have you been going for?
- Twenty-five...
seconds.
You wanna jump on?
Show us what you got?
- Oh, I got a lot!
- Yeah!
Whoa! Hey!
♪ I am an aeroplane ♪
♪ Point me at the sky ♪
♪ I am gazelle sprint ♪
♪ Running away
from the policeman ♪
- Ah! Synchronize jumps!
- Copy that!
- Synchronizing!
- And... go!
Anthony Hopkins,
they're all sitting up there.
- We were just jumping on the bed.
- Yeah, like this.
- It was like...
- Beav, maybe you shouldn't.
- ...synchronizing...
- Holy crap, Beav!
- Whoa!
- God!
Oh, no, no! It's
holding my blood! Don't!
I can't watch.
It's fine.
It just went through
your pants, man.
Well, while you guys were
playing True Blood,
I was on the phone with our national
rep trying to get money for repairs.
- What'd he say? - After he reminded
me that we're already on thin ice
for having one pledge
and being on academic probation,
he said he was excited to see how
we're gonna handle this on our own.
So we can thank our mysterious
saboteur, Villain X.
Well, if Trip's telling the truth
and it wasn't the Omega Chis,
then who the hell
is messing with us?
Mr. Spitter, I got big news!
Maybe it can wait.
- What's up? - I was in freshman physics
and I overheard Professor Hastings
talking about how some company is interested
in buying your self-healing wire patent.
Seriously? Did he say who?
Yeah, uh, Chambers lnternational?
Ever heard of them?
Chambers lnternational
creates evil things
like vertically integrated
telecommunications monopolies,
- and jerks named Evan. - What would the
Dark Lord's empire want with your wire?
It's not my wire anymore.
But I'd like to know what's happening with it.
I deserve to know.
Ah, a boy and his wire.
The unconventional
love story of the summer.
You know what? I think I know someone
who can help us out with the house.
Well, I'm gonna go do something
I really don't want to do:
Talk to a Chambers.
- Hey, Ash.
- Hi.
- I have some big news.
- Me, too!
Working for Clarissa's
marketing company isn't lame.
I got her off that mobisode kick,
she totally loves all my ideas
and I even brought
in my first client today.
- Pouty Plump Lip Gloss.
OK, so your turn. Go. - Yay!
OK. Did you hear
about the Golden Lily?
Oh, are they delivering now?
'Cause I could really go for some moo shu.
No, ZBZ is nominated
for the Golden Lily Award
- for the best chapter in the nation!
- Oh, right. Yes.
- Including Puerto Rico and Guam.
That's great. - Mm-hm.
- So great. It's just, um...
- Guam has a kick-ass house?
No. It's Rebecca.
She's super determined to win.
She's dipping into
the scholarship fund,
ordering around sisters
like they're lackeys.
It kinda reminded me of...
- ...Frannie. - OK. I know it's
your job to look out for the house,
but don't you think you're
overreacting, like, a little?
It's a really big awar Of
course she's gung ho on winning.
OK, maybe you're right,
but it's weird.
Would you just come
with me to the meeting?
If for nothing more then to
lend the house your expertise.
Well, I am pretty expertise-y
now that I'm dominating
the marketing world of the
lower central Rust Belt, so...
Exactly.
OK, do you still want to order
Chinese? 'Cause I could eat.
Trip, if I didn't know any better, I
would say you've been avoiding me.
Yeah, because I don't need to
hear your whole Team Dale rant.
You've made your feelings perfectly
clear about the Pledge Talent Show.
Did you really think I was just
gonna let you humiliate my friend
in front of the
entire Greek system?
You don't let me do anything.
I'm president now, not you.
Back off, Owens!
No. You started all this when
you gave Dale a fake bid!
We only messed with him to get revenge for
spring break, which you were a part of!
Are you saying
this is all my fault?
I'm saying we're even with Rusty
and the KTs, so let it go.
Look, Dale is gone,
but you're not.
Yeah? Not yet.
- What do you want?
- I came to talk.
It's not about my sister
or the fraternities.
It's actually
about your family.
Make it quick.
It's about my self-healing wire,
which I'm sure you've heard of.
- It was a pretty big breakthrough.
- I'll take your word for it.
Well, the university thought enough of it to
take it from me and give it to a research team,
but now your dad's company
is buying the patent.
- What do you want from me? - I just want you
to find out what they plan to do with it.
I don't know, Rusty. I haven't spoken
to my parents in almost a year,
and I'm not
gonna start for you.
I'm not asking you
to make up with them.
I was just hoping you could tell
me what they're doing with it.
No. Now, get out.
I can't imagine why your parents wouldn't want
to talk to a kind, selfless son like you.
Rusty, I'd go now, before paddles
start coming off the wall.
OK, we need to show Nationals
just what CRU ZBZ can accomplish.
Charity fundraiser.
My father always used to say,
what good is altruism
if you can't benefit from it?
Thoughts?
- Laura.
- I was thinking...
Can you lean back
so I can see Casey?
Oh, yeah, I think
that sounds like a great idea.
Our chapter has had a history
of successful philanthropy.
And there are so many great
causes. Literacy,
- women's rights...
- Tree frogs.
- Huh? - Mary Beth
Gentrie-Manning's favorite charity
- is the Foundation for the Amazon Red-Eyed Tree Frog.
- Pandering through charity.
I like it. Good job, Heather.
You pledges could
learn from her.
But we can't just do our usual lame
theme party, carnival, dance, whatever.
I think we should do
a big benefit concert.
Anybody know if the
stadium's available?
That's pretty ambitious.
- Don't you think, Ash?
- That is a lot of people.
A lot of people who might
want to try Pouty Plump,
the new up-and-coming
lip gloss line I'm working with.
It makes your lips bigger,
it only burns a little.
I'm sure once they hear
"sorority," they'll totally want
to donate free product
and sponsor us.
Totally. What?
I think realistically we're not going
to get the stadium in a day's notice.
How about the backyard?
We can hardly fit
a hundred people there.
But if we charge
$500 a person...
We'll need a great performer.
Well, this guy in my
English class has a friend
who has a workout partner who is
good friends with Drew Lachey.
Fortunately, I've contacted one of
our alums who I'm hoping can help.
She lives in Los Angeles and works
in the entertainment industry.
Oh, here she is now!
Everyone, I'd like you
to please welcome back...
Oh, my God.
- Frannie!?
- Hi, girls. Miss me?
Oh, my God, look at this place.
Look at you guys.
Laura! Hi.
Well, Frannie,
I haven't seen you since...
you tried to have me expelled.
But it didn't work,
'cause I graduated, so... yay.
I'm sorry about that, Ash.
But congratulations, though!
So, yeah, it's been a while.
Yes, it has.
So, um, what exactly
are you up to now?
Oh, I actually work at CAA.
Chi Alpha Alpha?
Creative Artists Agency.
One of the world's
largest talent agencies.
You thought this
organization had secrets?
Oh, wow.
They rep all the big names.
Reese, Alyssa, Hillary.
- They're all over US Weekly.
- Frannie came here to help out.
- It's what I do. I represent.
- For which sorority?
We all know I wasn't
a model ZBZ my last two years.
My leaving and starting
the I-Kaps was bad, I know.
So when Rebecca called and said you guys
were nominated for the Golden Lily,
- I pulled a weekend vacay.
- We're throwing a benefit concert
- for the Amazon red-eyed tree frogs.
- Oh, Mary Beth's fave.
Wow, I can't believe
I actually still remember that.
Well, we're pretty much all set,
except for booking a performer,
but Laura is close, personal
friends with Drew Lachey...
Not gonna happen. He's doing a reality
bass fishing show in Wyoming.
I helped package it. I don't
want to step on any toes,
but I could get
a guest performer.
Maybe... Justin Bieber?
- Seriously?
- Seriously?! I love him!
The kid owes me for a booking I did.
It's just a matter of making a call.
- Well, we might...
- Bieber me.
So you know that dream where you're naked
and the whole school is laughing at you?
They're applauding, but go on.
Well, Trip and some of his crew,
they made that come true for Dale.
- And then they kicked him out.
- They dung him out?
Yeah. I'm so tired of their crap.
I'm gonna quit, too.
Wait, so you're caving to
those losers propping up Trip?
For a guy who talks about wanting to
make a difference and change the world,
Cal, you're just
not showing me that much.
It's not the world.
It's a fraternity.
Of which you've been a member
for over two years.
The purpose of the house is to
build guys up, not tear them down.
Oh, not anymore. We've become that cliché,
jerk fraternity that everybody hates.
Well, then do something about it.
For the house and for Dale.
Tackle Trip and those guys head on and be a leader.
Trust me, you're doing them a favor.
Like you helping Rusty?
Can't you just find out what your
dad's company is gonna do with it?
It would mean
talking to my parents.
You mean, "tackling
the problem head on"?
As you can see, the Kappa Tau house
truly is a historical landmark.
That's what
I'm here to find out.
An historical grant would
definitely help repair
and preserve
this natural wonder.
Not that these
gentlemen are desperate.
Thank God you're here.
This is the Lasker Parkes,
world-renowned software mogul,
and this is his birthplace.
Well, no, actually, that would
be Punta Gorda, Florida.
But this room is where I got the idea for my
first educational application, "Piece of Math."
You see, I was tutoring
some sorority girls.
- You called my dad? - Yeah.
And he came right away. Is he great or what?
- "Let's talk. Evan."
- Let's not talk Evan.
Have I showed you
our historical asbestos?
- Come this way.
- Right this way.
Rebecca! I can't believe
you invited Frannie.
- You hated her! - A necessary evil.
I want that Golden Lily.
You used Frannie's playbook
with Tegan and it worked.
I skipped the playbook and called the coach.
And she delivered.
What makes you think we can trust her?
I mean, Justin Bieber?
A Bieber in the hand is worth
two Lacheys in the bush.
- I don't know what that means.
- Look, if she double-crosses us,
we blame her publicly and
get Nationals' sympathy vote.
Oh! Sorry.
- Looks serious.
- Actually, it is.
- Becks and I were just talking about...
- Bieber, Bieber!
Can't wait.
Thank you, Frannie!
How crazy is this, huh?
You, me, Ash, all back
here from the real world.
- So where are you living now?
- Upstairs. I'm the house mom.
Oh. Great. Anyway, um,
Ashleigh and I are gonna
hit up Dobler's, catch up.
- Why don't you come?
- Ashleigh, really?
Yeah, I can't. There's still a
lot of Golden Lily stuff to do.
We can do that, too. I need to get you up
to speed on the rider in Justin's contract.
- A rider is... - I know what a
rider is, I am in law school.
You're in law school? See, we have so
much to catch up on. And it'll be on CAA.
I'll just say I'm doing research for a series
about the Greek system or some crap like that.
Yeah. Look, Frannie, last week
Rebecca won the Pledge Talent Show
by using the same slutty dance you
made her do when she was a pledge.
And then I hear she threatened to
burn down the Gamma Psi house again.
- What do you mean again?
- The point is, Rebecca is going a little...
you, and it's starting
to affect the pledges.
And I worry you being here, giving
her tips from your playbook,
- it's just gonna make things worse.
- That was the old me.
- I've changed.
- We'll see about that.
- OK, who's ready for alumni lady drinks?
- I could use a drink.
Whoa! This is where you grew up?
- You are Lex Luthor.
- I heard that.
Just like I had to hear NPR's Science
Friday the whole drive down.
All right, so here's the deal.
I'm letting my parents
think I'm here to make amends.
So don't bring up
the wire right away.
- So you're lying to them?
- Rusty,
this is how you deal with them.
You don't tip your hand too soon.
All right?
Just let me handle it.
- Evan?
- Mom.
- You look good.
- Thanks.
- Your hair's shorter.
- It's been a year.
- So who is this?
- Oh, this is my buddy, Rusty Cartwright.
- Yeah, good buddies.
- Cartwright? Um...
- Stacy's brother?
- Casey.
- Casey.
- Right.
- Is Dad home?
- Oh, he'll be around.
Come on in.
We'll get reacquainted.
Thank you.
Rusty.
- So, Evan, how's law school?
- It's good.
You still thinking about
running for office one day?
I have a friend
in our state senator's...
Actually, I think I'm gonna
practice law instead.
Mm. That's good water,
Mrs. Chambers.
It's the best I've ever had.
So, um, what are your
favorite classes?
Uh, constitutional
law's interesting.
Torts. Contract law.
You know, one of the contracts
the company signed
was for a self-healing wire
that Rusty here invented.
Yeah. He was wondering what
you're gonna use it for.
So this isn't
just a friendly visit?
All right. You're up.
Well, as the inventor,
I was hoping that you could...
A year goes by,
we don't see you,
and now you just show up
to talk about electronics?
- It's not just electronics.
- If I'd known this was a business meal,
- I would have come prepared.
- Jonathan...
Excuse me.
- What are you doing?
- I'm helping you with your stupid wire.
- What's it look like? - It looks like
you're trying to piss off your parents.
Back off, Rusty.
I'm doing this for you, OK?
So just shut up
and let me handle it.
So, law school! That was always
the original plan, right?
Are you back to the original
plan with Evan Chambers?
Actually, I'm with Cappie.
Oh. Great.
And you,
you're already an agent.
- Didn't you just graduate last year?
- I slept my way to the top.
That was a joke.
We need some drinks! What
is up with the service today?
- It was never this bad when I worked here.
- You worked here?
Yeah, for, like, a week or two.
Then I got fired for breaking in.
But I think they're over it.
So I'm gonna go grab us some drinks.
Maybe even on the house.
Ash, I can do it.
I can really... I can... OK.
I guess even after a year, things
are still awkward with us.
- I'm really trying.
- Why?
Because you're
the reason I'm here.
- Me? - Don't look so surprised.
I sent you like a dozen emails
after I graduated,
but you never responded.
Rebecca told me she called you, I
didn't realize it was from downstairs.
I thought coming here would
give us a chance to reconnect.
You and I were friends once,
and so much has changed.
- I'm a different person.
- Yeah, I'm different, too.
I mean, I'm still here.
That's the same.
And I'm still living in the
house. That's the same, too.
- But I'm different in so many other ways.
- I'm sure you are.
I just wanted you to know
that I've missed you.
OK, so the girl at the bar
still seemed really mad at me.
So I guess they're not over it.
Oh, God, you don't think
they spit in it, do you?
How about a beer
in a bottle instead?
There is only true messiah,
and his name is Jesus.
There is only one.
Hey, Dale. What are you doing?
Reacquainting myself with the only
institution that ever accepted me.
OK, look. Omega Chi
did not reject you.
- A few bad apples did.
- Trip's more of an orange.
Like a blood orange
I'd like to squeeze dry.
OK. Well, yeah,
let's not take this lying down.
The whole house humiliated me.
Trip and his friends
are not the whole house.
They took everything that was
good away from Omega Chi,
and I want it back,
but I cannot do it alone.
Do whatever you want, but
don't expect any help from me.
I've turned down my collars,
I'm done.
- What about the future Mrs.
Dale Kettlewell? - I've hung that up, too.
I'm don't think Laura's an option
now that I'm not an Omega Chi.
Uh, well, I don't know
about Laura, but what about
all the things that you
learned at Omega Chi?
Brotherhood? Honor? All that?
Why should I believe it
if they don't?
The only reason I rushed is 'cause
Evan said loyalty and camaraderie
make fraternities more than just a
place to drink beer and chase girls.
- I can't believe I ever bought any of that bunk.
- It's not bunk to me.
At least it wasn't.
I don't think it has to be.
...Jesus Christ!
So your mother's very happy
that you agreed
to spend the night.
Well, you know,
she's hard to say no to.
Well, you came all this way to talk
business, let's talk business.
Before you get too excited,
we buy dozens of patents
for healing cable insulation,
and the crap never pans out.
- So we scrap it. - My wire doesn't just
heal its insulation, it keeps conducting.
We're not looking for creative
control or net profit participation,
but by involving the original creator,
you have access to the origins...
No offense, but why do I need
access to the original origins?
The past is irrelevant.
I own it.
Evan, you're appealing
to me personally when...
Personal relationships always take
a back seat to professional ones.
I forgot that one, Dad.
That's the Chambers rule, isn't it?
You couldn't have
called us once? In a year?
We're your parents.
Yeah, it's not exactly like my
phone was ringing off the hook.
- No one's asked me how I've been doing on my own.
- I know how you're doing.
You live in a five-by-nine dorm room,
$304 in your checking account,
good grades, despite getting your butt
trounced by your ex in mock trial last week.
- You've been spying on me?
- Checking up on my son.
None of your sons
are even speaking to you.
Do you think that's all on us?
Maybe you and Mom should take a
look at yourselves for a change.
Maybe we should just
talk about the wire.
I don't wanna talk about your damn wire!
I wanna talk to my son!
Good night, Dad.
- Well?
- I'm sorry, guys.
The inspector is determined that she's not
gonna declare our house a historical landmark.
And that's not
even the bad part.
She also said the house
should be condemned.
Condemned?! Is this
about the rat problem?
Tell her we just recently
lost our pet snake.
No, the whole house
is the problem.
It either has to be fixed up
or it'll have to be torn down.
- Torn down?! - The city can't risk
somebody getting hurt in there.
- What about in here?
- Wait. Can we appeal?
- My girlfriend makes straight As in law school.
- There is one solution.
If Nationals won't pay for repairs,
suppose somebody just buys it from them,
- fixes it up?
- Yeah, who'd give a bat's ass about KT?
- I meant me.
- You'd do that?
Well, I don't throw my money
around at just any cause,
but if my house is about to hit the
wrecking ball, then yeah, I would do that.
Lasker's buying the house.
We're saved!
Goodbye, Shanty Tau!
Oh, my God,
I didn't want to say anything,
but I've been praying for it.
Well, your prayers
have been answered.
The Amazing Spider-Man
doesn't look too amazed.
- Papa Parkes just saved the house.
- It's great.
I'm just used to it. My dad saving the day
is kind of a recurring theme in my life.
- You want to get out of here?
- You don't want to stay and celebrate?
You know how many times
I've saved this dump?
Besides, I know a sorority
where the food is hot
and the women are cold.
No. No, they're both hot.
Come on. Let's go.
Adequate.
More flowers over here.
Who's on pillow poofing?
Poofier! Poofier!
- Heather, I love that top.
- Thanks, Rebecca.
It looks just like the one JWOWW wore when
she was beating up that girl in that club.
Go change now. The Council
will be here any minute.
You know, Becks,
in managing people,
I've learned you get a lot more out of them
if you at least pretend to respect them.
Oh, really? Is that why your IKI house
turned into a bunch of slutty losers
and totally imploded? Was
it your management skills?
Wow.
The old me never said
anything that bitchy.
Yes, you did. To Laura.
Sophomore year.
Why do you think
she bites her nails?
Hey. So this is pretty
exciting, isn't it?
Four ZBZ presidents coming together to make
this the number one chapter in the nation.
- Yeah, you're goin' down, Guam.
- OK, we have a small problem.
- Bieber canceled.
- What?!
He's flying to New York
to do The View.
- Oh, my God.
- Well, how do you say no to Whoopi?
- I knew this was too good to be true.
- OK, relax.
- It's not the Golden Globes.
- No, it's just the Golden Lily.
- It's bigger for us.
- That is so sad.
You know what's sad, is you coming here
and messing with us all over again.
- Once a sociopath, always...
- Rebecca...
OK, the only reason you're even
president of this stupid house
is because I courted you, poodle!
Oh, my God,
what's happening to me?
I don't know, I mean, you're
just so totally different.
I was trying to help!
- Madame President! Welcome!
- Hello!
Thank you. Oh, sisters,
it is so wonderful to be here
at such an impressive chapter.
And to think, Justin Bieber, too!
- I can't wait!
- Oh, neither can we!
Hey.
I should have known you weren't helping
me out of the goodness of your heart.
And I shouldn't have let my
feelings get in the way last night.
I should have just stuck to
the facts like any good lawyer.
Instead of caring
about my mom and dad.
And Rebecca. That's what
you meant about putting
personal stuff second, right?
Whatever.
It's probably a good thing that
you got that off your chest.
You obviously wanted to show
them you don't need them.
I don't need them.
But they already knew that.
They've been stalking
me this whole time.
I don't think they're stalking
you. It's more like checking up.
It's like me with my wire.
I saw it through breakthroughs
and setbacks, and one time,
it lanced my nipple.
But even when it ticked
me off, I stuck with it.
I'm not trying to control it,
I can't, it isn't mine anymore.
I just want to make sure
that it'll be OK.
- Is there a point in there?
- So you can either accept them for who they are
and know that they care about you, or you
can keep them out of your life for good.
- So, what are gonna do about your wire?
- My wire's gone.
But you can still
get your parents back.
Just let me bring
in someone else!
I think the guy from Castle is
visiting his grandmother in Toledo.
- I can make a call.
- In an hour? Just stop.
You're not going to do that, just like
you were never going to get Bieber.
I had Justin Bieber.
Then how did you lose him?
You said you were his agent!
OK, technically, I never said I was his agent.
Or an agent at all.
I'm an assistant. And when he found
out the call was coming from me
and not one of the agents, the little
pipsqueak bailed for The View.
You let us think that you were his agent
and that this could've really happen!
That is so typical you.
You haven't changed at all.
So I embellished
a little to impress you,
but you're so stuck seeing
everything the way you always did.
Casey, you're the only person
who hasn't changed!
Hey, everybody!
Kappa Tau is saved.
Do you guys have any
of that honey ham I like?
Proving my point.
I can't believe you're
still dating this guy.
And I can't believe
I actually still care.
I so seriously need
to get back to LA.
Oh, it's nice
to see you, too, Frannie.
This is Pledge Spidey.
Please don't turn him to stone.
We lost Bieber.
If we ever had him.
No Bieber? Oh, that blows.
I mean, I have a friend
who wanted an autograph.
What?
Cap, can we borrow him?
That concludes old business.
Which brings us
to Saturday's mixer.
I'm hearing the ladies of Tri-Pi are chomping
at the bit to score with you gentlemen.
- What gentlemen?
- Oh, are we getting another one
of those patented
Owens diatribes?
If you don't like it here,
you can leave.
- You know what? I think I will.
- Don't do that.
Speaking of people
who can't take a hint...
Can it, Prince Harry.
You're gonna hear me out.
I trusted you guys as my brothers.
And Trip, you were my big brother,
the most sacred role of all.
And you lied to my face
every day for months.
- You made me feel like an ass.
- A big one.
Seriously, guys?
Don't you see the guts that it took for
him to come down here and face you?
That's courage!
That is the Omega Chi
that I want to be a part of.
Without it, we're just a bunch of
guys who drink beer and chase girls.
Sometimes guys. Don't you
want to be more than that?
To be honest,
me and the rest of the pledges,
we really got close to Dale,
and we kinda miss him.
Did anyone
ask the pledges to speak?
Hold up. The pledges are gonna be
running this house in a few years.
We should at least
hear them out.
I'm just saying
Dale's a funny guy.
He's cool.
He didn't deserve
to get the boot.
Especially the
way we booted him.
Seriously? You guys...
That was a wonderful poached
salmon, Mr. and Mrs. Chambers.
- And you have a beautiful home.
- Well, thank you. You take care.
Good luck with all
your future projects.
So, uh, we still have a
little more negotiating to do.
- Evan, please just stop...
- I'm not coming home for Thanksgiving.
I will consider
every other Christmas,
and I don't want your money.
- What do you want?
- I want to be able to call
and talk to you about my life,
about how I screwed up
another relationship,
and the fact that I have been
doing law school on my own,
and how hard that's been.
Deal.
I'm proud of you, son.
I love you guys.
Uh, there is one more thing.
Bieber! Bieber! Bieber!
- Do you think this will work?
- I have no idea.
I'm gonna pretend
you just said "hell, yes!"
Y'all ready to save some frogs?!
- Hey.
- It's going well, isn't it?
Um, I think I
just signed FART as a client...
whose name
I'm going to change tomorrow.
So it's all
good, no thanks to Frannie.
Can you believe she had the nerve to
say I'm the one who hasn't changed?
- Well, you know Frannie...
- You definitely know her
and you don't even seem to care about
all the horrible stuff she did to you.
Well, it was a year ago.
I'm over it.
- Why am I not?
- Because of ZBZ.
Because you still really
care about this place.
And ZBZ means a lot to me, too.
It was a great chance to hang out
with you and all our friends,
and being president was cool.
Cool? For me,
it was... transformative.
Is it wrong to want to give back to the place
that gave me so much of who I am today?
No, it's not wrong, but how much
more are you planning to give?
How amazing is that!
I even got us an autograph.
I think he spelled his name
wrong, but hey, he's only 16.
Can't wait to hear
your decision, Madame President.
Oh, we'll be in touch.
- Pretty awesome, big sis.
- I know, right?
So you pulled off another
signature ZBZ caper.
Yeah, I guess
you were right about me.
- Some things never change.
- How could they?
I've been gone a year,
I'm an assistant at CAA
and I'm back here for 24 hours and
suddenly I'm calling people "poodle"
and worrying about who did what
for some stupid Golden Lily.
- It's not stupid.
- After a while, we have to let it go.
You know, here, all of that
stuff, the mixers, the formals,
the fraternity sweethearts...
it's life and death.
But once you leave,
I mean really leave,
it all becomes nice memories.
For the most part.
I guess you can't be nostalgic
for something you've never left.
So I have to leave
early in the morning.
Get back to the office, cover my
ass over the whole Bieber thing.
Frannie?
Email me when you
get back to LA.
This is Frannie.
Oh, I'm in Ohio. But tomorrow,
I'll be gone like LeBron.
I know, right?
What, you need
help with a satellite now?
Apparently my advisor, Professor
Hastings, got a call from your dad.
He said Chambers lnternational is
pouring a ton of money into my wire.
They really believe in it.
That's great news.
Look, man, I really gotta study.
I'm kind of...
He said I could be a part of
the project when I graduate.
Wow.
- Just like that?
- Yeah.
Did you talk to them?
Well, apparently,
your dad referred
to me as "Evan's friend."
- Friend?
- Yeah, it creeped me out, too.
Told you I could negotiate.
Well, anyways, thanks.
You, too.
I'm gonna step down.
They want Dale, so clearly I don't
have the support of the brothers.
But you do.
So you can be president again.
Happy?
No.
You see, we're pledge brothers.
And I remember when you weren't out to get
people, you actually had their backs.
- Like who?
- Me.
Like the time when I got flowers
in front of the entire house,
and I was horrified, and you
said, "Flowers from a guy?
That's cool."
That set the tone
for the rest of the house.
Everyone was cool, thanks to you.
I never forgot that.
So all of my
"patented diatribes?"
I just want what's
best for the house.
For it to be
a real brotherhood.
Like you used to.
And I don't need to be
president to do that.
So keep your job.
Just try and remember
what it's for.
And that's my last diatribe.
Hey, house mom. The whole house
is going to Dobler's Friday night
to wait for the Golden Lily vote.
You're coming, right?
I think I'm gonna pass.
I thought you'd be excited.
You were such a huge help.
Oh, really? Even though you went
with another coach's playbook?
Right, well, you don't
have to hire an exorcist.
- I'm not turning into Frannie, OK?
- Really? I hadn't noticed.
I might have used some
of her tactics.
The difference is she never cared
about this house the way I do now.
Now that what, you don't
have Evan to care about?
That's not it at all.
I'm just saying, there are
better ways to show you care.
You wanted to show
that you were a good leader.
I think maybe part of that
is leading by example.
- I think I'm a great example.
- Mm-hm...
Maybe I could tone it
down a little.
But I can't promise
it won't happen again.
I've had my share of psycho sorority
sister moments in my day,
putting you through hell
most of your pledging.
So enjoy this place
while you're here,
because one day you're gonna
go off into the big bad world,
and there won't be little sisters to
ream or Golden Lilies to get crazy over.
Guess I'll do a shot for you
if we win the Lily.
I know we'll...
- I know you'll win it.
- Oh, we totally will.
That is, if little Tyler Gentrie-Manning
ever wants to see his nana again.
- Um...
- Kidding.
Well, I'm off
to meet Ash for coffee.
See you later, Becks.
So I take it the evil empire
isn't using your wire
to create nuclear warheads
or cause oil spills?
Actually, they're gonna let me
work on it when I graduate.
- That's great!
- In exchange for what?
Your kidney?
Your first born?
No, Evan totally helped me out.
From one nerd to another, I'm
glad you got your wire back.
I'm happy we got our house back.
Thank your dad for me when you talk to him.
Yeah. My dad's the
hero once again.
Hey, Cap, I got this letter
for you from the university.
It goes in the
extra TP stack, right?
No, I'll take it.
What's up with him?
- Daddy issues.
- I get it.
It's like Evan. Sometimes guys
do stuff to piss off their dads.
You know, the attacks on KT, it
all started rush night, right?
- Yep. - And we were looking for
someone who had the know-how
- to mess with Joshua Whopper.
- And you thought it was Dale?
Because he's a big nerd, right.
Well, maybe we were looking
at the wrong nerd.
Maybe young Mr. Parkes...
is our Villain X.
Spidey? We can totally trust
him. He loves this house.
Hey, don't you think?
Cap?
What's that?
It's nothing.