Greek (2007–2011): Season 3, Episode 18 - Camp Buy Me Love - full transcript

This is a form for
declaring a major.

I saw the form.
Why did you lie to me?

Why didn't you tell me you're
nowhere close to picking a major?

OK, I'm sorry. I screwed up.

But the truth is,
I'm not ready to graduate.

Um... hi.

Will you accept my a-pollen-gy?

"A-pollen-gy?"

Well, ahem, it was
either that or, uh...

"please flor-give me."

I bought the flowers. I didn't steal
them from someone else's lawn.



So what do you say?

Come on, Case, we've barely
spoken since Mardi Gras

and now I'm apologizing.

Thank you for the flowers.

And how about the a-pollen-gy?

Do you really mean it? - Sure.
I'm sorry for our fight.

The fight? That's it?

And anything else I may have
done recently, hence the flowers.

Can we just make up and pretend
like this never happened?

When I thought I might have
had a chance in Washington

you told me you wanted to
declare a major, which implied

that you wanted to move forward
with us after graduation.

But now that you don't,

I'm a little freaked out about us.



Um...

I have to get to class.

Cool! Yeah, no, I'll just...

...bring the flowers
by later, then.

Your hair, it looks...

Like Madonna's Lucky Star video,
1983?

Exactly!

I'm just trying out some looks
for '80s Night at Dobler's.

Are you going?

'Cause you should really come

and dress as Anthony Michael
Hall in Sixteen Candles.

Or in The Breakfast Club.
Or Weird Science.

I might, but I wouldn't
know who to take.

You see, I'm kind of in this
complicated dating situation.

You see, there's Katherine
and there's Dana.

I'm sort of dating Katherine,

but Dana told me she likes me, too.

But if I'm gonna get into
another relationship,

I want to make sure that
I have the right match.

OK, so how serious
is it with Katherine?

She asked me to take her virginity,

but I turned her down.

Rusty. - What? I left
her a bunch of messages,

but I haven't heard from her yet.

Uh, you're never
gonna hear from her

'cause she is never going
to talk to you again.

You ran out on her when she tried
to lose her virginity to you?

It wasn't because of her.
The circumstances were completely wrong.

Rusty, she's gonna think
you thought she was fat.

- She's so not fat.
- It doesn't matter. She's a girl.

She's mortified,
and you blew it. Case closed.

Can anyone tell me what
movie that was from?

- A-heezy?
- Can't Buy Me Love, 1987.

Yes! Today we're looking
at marketing in the 1980s

and how companies started
using movies to sell to teens.

Teens were finally recognized for
their legitimate buying power.

They also flocked to movies
that could be made on the cheap,

and all it took to market them was
one great pop song on the soundtrack.

Can anyone name one of these songs?

Anyone? Anyone?

Anyone?

Bueller? Get it?

OK. Ferris Bueller...

Hey, so you're absolutely positive

that I blew it with Katherine?

Yeah. But doesn't that
solve your problem?

You are free to date Dana.

She is perfect for you anyway.

Yeah, she's pretty great.

So what if she thinks that
I slept with Katherine,

and I haven't talked to her
since she told me she liked me?

- I'm gonna go for Dana.
- Oh, Rusty.

She thinks I think she's fat, too.

Yeah, probably.

Hello.

Are you OK?

Yeah.

So I haven't seen you in a few days.
How are you doing?

You don't have to give
me that pitying look,

like I'm some kindergartener
who came to school

with a maxi pad around her knee
because she thought it was a bandage.

And if that did happen,
it would be a totally honest mistake...

- Your finger's stuck?
- No.

Let me help.

Nothing happened with Katherine
after the Mardi Gras party.

- Really?
- No.

Even though she's blonde and leggy

with high cheekbones
and a sure thing?

Yeah. That's right.

Uh, what I'm trying
to say now is...

Dana, will you go out
with me Saturday night?

I'll have to think about it.

I'm just kidding.

- Of course I will.
- Great.

I'm sorry, Case.

I just don't get why someone
as smart and amazing as Cappie

would want to stay
in college forever.

I understand wanting to party
and screw around for a while.

I've done plenty of that myself.

But I can't hehelp but wonder
if maybe you weren't right, Ash.

What if we are too different?

And what if we're...
not going to last forever?

No matter how much we try or
how much we love each other.

I don't want to be
right about that,

so you need to address
this with Cappie,

head-on. - OK, well,
how do I address someone

who says he might never
want to leave college?

He can't possibly mean that.
That'd just be crazy, right?

Would it? I mean, it's Cappie
we're talking about here,

and he definitely has his
own way of doing things.

And, didn't you kind of already know
that when you got back together?

So why are you trying
to change him now?

You're right. I know.

I love Cappie, and I
don't want to change him.

But if we're on
completely different paths

and he stays here forever
we're never going to work,

which scares the crap out of me.

Then you need to make
him understand that.

Cheap beer and The
Political Economy.

Wow, Evan, this is sad.

I am behind in my reading,
and I can't afford good beer.

I guess the economy and I
are both a bit depressed.

- About Rebecca?
- Mmm.

How could I have been so stupid?

You know, buying her that
necklace with money I didn't have?

I put my position in
the house at risk,

not to mention my
friendship with you.

And she slept with someone else.

You have any idea who it was with? - No.
I don't really care.

OK, I care a little.

God, why, when beer is called "something's
best", is it always the worst?

Good question. Hey, Grant went
to Michigan to see Kylie Minogue,

so I'm flying solo this weekend.

How about we go to this,
uh, '80s party?

Everybody Wang Chung
like a virgin! -

Maybe if my jokes were better
she wouldn't have cheated.

Look, don't beat yourself
up about it, all right?

Everybody knows Rebecca
Logan's got issues.

For what it's worth,
I got the impression

that she really did like you.

That's worth about as
much as a bottle of...

...Sandusky's Best.

Rusty!

Hey, Katherine.
I don't think you're fat.

Nor do I.

Oh, well, good. But you're
mad at me, though, right?

Well, I see my failure to return
all seven of your voice messages

has not gone unnoticed.
Rusty, I'm not angry.

- You're not?
- Initially, I was.

It was very embarrassing.

But I realized that you were completely
right to withdraw when you did.

The timing was completely off,

and for you to have the
restraint to realize that

in such a passionate moment
really was the height of chivalry.

I'm completely mortified
by my actions,

and I'm hoping that
we can move past this.

Of course we can.

So I guess we got through
our first big fight. -

You know what they say about relationships:
they all have speed bumps.

Relationships? - Furthermore,
I think we should take it slow.

- You know, no sex yet.
- No.

So do you have plans
tomorrow night?

- No.
- Great.

We can go to the Dobler's
'80s party together.

That's nice. I never have any
dates for these Greek events.

Um, but I'm late for my
hierarchy and hegemony seminar,

so we'll talk details later.

I promise I'll call you back.

I know how much you don't want to
talk about this, but we have to:

graduation, our future, all of it.

We have to figure it out.
I mean, I am graduating in May.

And I might be leaving CRU.

But you might get into CRU Law,

- and then we don't have to worry about it.
- But what if I don't?

- But what if you do?
- Cappie.

OK, look, if you go somewhere else,

then we'll just do long-distance.

But for how long? For 20 years,
until you graduate?

- How will that work?
- Graduation isn't even until May.

Why can't we just
deal with it then?

Because I'm not as good at
living in the now as you.

I just... I can't feel comfortable in our
relationship not knowing where we're going.

- You might be going to CRU Law.
- But what if I don't?

- But what if you do?
- Oh, my God, Cappie!

You... You have to accept you
can't be in college forever...

Surprise!

April? Tobias? What the hell
are you guys doing here?

Whoa! Too early for
a philosophy quiz.

It's great to see you!

This must be Casey. She's gorgeous!

- Hi.
- Amazing eyes.

Who are you?

- Oh!
- Oh! Uh, Casey, um...

These are my parents.

Wow! - So this is where
the magic happens, huh?

- Hurry up, Beav!
- Don't rush me.

- What color am I again?
- Red.

Damn it!

So, guys, I have a little problem.

I seem to have found
myself dating two girls.

At the same time.

And that's not enough?

You want a different girl for every
night of the week? Way to be greedy.

No. I think two girls
is one too many.

I think one girl's one too many.

I really need to figure this out.

Two girls liking me? Yeah,
never happened before.

It's like a syzygy or something.

- Yeah, it is!
- No.

A syzygy is the alignment of
three or more celestial bodies

along a straight line.

Never mind.

So, I need to figure out
which one is better for me

- and then go out with her.
- That sounds confusing.

- I say you just date them both.
- Never mind. Is Cappie here?

Uh, Spitter.

There's nothing wrong
with dating two chicks.

You just need to make sure they
both know things are casual.

Keep saying the word "casual,"

and make sure one never
finds out about the other.

- Lying helps.
- Beaver has a point.

And how are you ever gonna figure
out which one you like more

- without dating both of 'em?
- That's true.

You really think I
can pull that off?

- Casual.
- Thanks, guys.

Oh, Beav, I think Pledge
Snuggie is your next move.

Pledge Snuggie,

leapfrog Pledge Slanket
and get kinged.

- Ohh!
- Great effort, pledge.

Let's get out of here.
I don't want to run into Rebecca.

Oh, no, she's not here.
She went to visit her mom.

- She did?
- Yeah.

So we don't have to study at the union.
We can just stay here.

I only have an hour 'cause I'm meeting
Cappie and his parents for lunch.

Cappie's parents?

Yeah. They dropped in
for a surprise visit.

Sounds like April and Tobias.

You know, they're pretty
much the stereotype

of the flaky hippies
who never grew up?

Don't be such a snob, Evan.

They seem really nice,
and Cappie adores them.

It explains a lot
about Cappie, huh?

I'm sorry. It's weird
for you to talk to me

about my relationship problems.

Oh, are you and Cappie
having relationship problems?

Never mind. You can't be
objective about Cappie.

There's too much baggage
between you two.

Fair enough, but I can
be objective about you.

Listen, you're never
gonna be the aimless

and groundless kind of
people that they are.

And it is, it's fun at first,
but it's not real, you know.

And with them here, you're
gonna get to see that firsthand

because I am pretty sure
they are still exactly

the same irresponsible people
they were back at camp.

Good day to you, Casey.

- Deep-fried Divinity Square?
- Yeah. Um, thanks.

Got the recipe from my
church potluck last week.

- Evan, you want one?
- Yeah, I'll take...

Wait, wait. Evan Chambers?

Yeah. - Evan Chambers, the violent
predator of Rusty Cartwright?

The betrayer of Cappie?

You'll get one of
my deep-fried snacks

when you pry it out of my cold,
dead hands.

This... This week sucks.

And does every ZBZ know about
Rebecca cheating on me?

Yeah. It really sucks to
get cheated on, doesn't it?

You're right.
I'm... I'm sorry, Case.

I probably deserve it.

You know, truth is, though,
Rebecca was always upfront with me

about what she wanted,
and I was the one

that tried to force the relationship
into something it wasn't.

Right.

- These maple bars are good.
- I knew you'd like them.

I just love the smell
of maple, don't you?

Second only to the smell
of blue permanent marker.

I, uh, saw Katherine earlier.
You did?

What did you say? What did she say?

I didn't talk to her. Duh!

You know, I just sort
of feel bad for her.

I mean, are you guys
friends now or...

- No!
- No? Why not?

Um... because when I told her

that you and I were
casually dating,

she was really mad.
She yelled a lot.

She told me to go suck on a lot of
different things. It was brutal.

Jeez. Well, I'm sorry
to hear that, Rusty.

But you know what?
You did the right thing,

and I'm sure she'll come
to appreciate your honesty

and the fact that you didn't,
you know, just string her along

only to dump her later.
You know, like some big fat jerk.

Oh, right. Like a big fat jerk.

- Oh, hey.
- Case.

Hey, we turned pledge
checkers into pledge chess.

We haven't figured
out how to play yet.

Chess is hard.

I know it's not exactly a
future-oriented activity...

I get it. I know.
I sound like a broken record.

So why don't we just wait to talk about
this until after your parents leave, OK?

- Sounds great.
- Here they are, honey.

Oh, hey there, Mr. and Ms...

Please. April and Tobias.
Sorry we're early.

I always lose track of
the time when I'm baked.

- Tobias.
- I'm kidding.

I love doing that. People get so
freaked out by hippie parents.

Cappie, we just stopped for gas,

and the attendant was
such an interesting guy.

When I told him I was
visiting my son and his lover,

he told me about this fantastic
campground just a few hours from here.

Apparently it's hidden away,

so no fanny pack-wearing tourists

attracting bears
with their Twinkies.

So what do you say?

We skip lunch and go camping.
It'll be like old times.

I brought my pan-flute. - I can make
my bulghar burgers and my soy-mores.

Ooh.

Um, I don't really have
any equipment or...

It's OK. Guys, why don't we
just stick to lunch today?

Beaver! My brother
from another mother.

This guy!

It's your move, Cap.

Casey, I hope you don't think
we were being too pushy

with this whole camping idea.

We just thought it would
be the perfect setting

for us to have a serious
conversation with Cappie.

About what?

Future stuff. We just have
some things we need to discuss.

The future? Really?

Um, you know what?

I am sure that I can
rustle up a sleeping bag

somewhere in the ZBZ house.

- Really?
- Let's go camping.

Oh!

- Hey!
- Hey, Ash.

Um, OK, which of these
do you like better?

I'm sold on the jellies,

but then I watched Can't Buy
Me Love last night,

and I was reminded of the
charm of ankle boots.

I was so born in the wrong decade.

I have no idea. I need to talk to
you about my dating situation again.

Oh. Well, perfect timing.

I spent all last night
watching movies,

pretty much the complete
works of Molly Ringwald,

and then Just One of the Guys and
Girls Just Want to Have Fun.

So I have watched many
complicated dating sfenarios.

I am now an expert.

OK, then. Here's one:

Do you think it's possible for
a guy to date two girls at once

without lying and being a jerk?

Um, I think you know how I
feel about that subject.

I know, and I don't
want to be like Fisher,

but it turns out Katherine
and Dana both still like me.

And Beaver says I
should date them both.

- You asked Beaver?
- Cappie wasn't there.

How else will I know which one is the
right choice without dating them both?

Why can't life be easy,
like it is in those movies you watched?

Hey, '80s rom-com
dating is never easy.

You might have to give
your underwear to a nerd,

you might have to
dress up like a guy

and then fall for your best guy
friend who thinks that you're a guy.

And this was all before people
were allowed to be gay in movies.

And then, on top of it all,
your parents forget your birthday.

- Does that sound easy?
- No. So, what do I do?

I don't want to screw this up.

Rusty, your situation is easy.

Dana is the girl for you.

Katherine isn't the underdog
girl who dates the science nerd.

She's the imperious blonde
who dates James Spader,

the preppy jackass.

You're right.

I should stick with Dana.

It just feels right,when I'm wi.

- That's important, isn't it?
- Of course.

So you know what you
have to do now, right?

You have to tell
Katherine the truth.

I know.

It seems mosquitoes can't resist

my citrus vanilla body splash.

Oh, you're getting eaten alive. Thanks for
being such a good sport about this.

You sure you don't mind missing the
'80s party? - Not at all, not at all.

I mean, really,
the '80s were a dark time.

Trickle-down economics, The Super Bowl
Shuffle earning a Grammy nomination.

Although I gotta say
I was looking forward

to seeing you in that Madonna
pointy cones... thingamajig.

Well, who says I didn't
bring it with me?

A joke? A promise of sex?
Things are getting back to normal.

What say we get
lost for a few hours

while looking for some firewood?

And miss more stories
about little Cappie?

Not a chance. - Yes,
I'm very grateful my girlfriend knows

that I wore hemp diapers
until I was five.

We didn't want to rush you, hon, no matter
what that kindergarten teacher said.

That's why we started
homeschooling.

We moved around so much anyway:
Montana, Nova Scotia.

Then we got that job
with the theater company,

so we were all over New England.

Lived in a few ashrams.

Mmm!

Oh, look, this is his
first grade picture.

Wow! Uh, my first grade picture

was of a bunch of little girls
with Hello Kitty barrettes

and Disney princess dresses.

Well, this was taken in Vermont.

Then it was Panama,
and then Seattle.

A riverboat along the Mississippi Delta.
I felt like Huck Finn.

I can't even imagine.

We moved down the street
when I was in sixth grade

and I... I cried for a year.

Well, you can get used
to anything, so I did.

Well, um, that was a great
blast from the past.

But, April, didn't you have something
else you wanted to talk about?

Besides the past?

Well, not just yet.
How about some music?

- Oh!
- Look. Here she is.

Oh, wow.

Oh, man. Is that Eddie Murphy's
outfit from Raw?

Jealous? What are you wearing?

- Uh, I'll just take my socks off.
- That's weak.

I... I don't know. Maybe I'm just not
jaunty enough for the '80s today.

I just keep thinking about
how I'm just the schmuck

who gave away that necklace,

which is now sitting
somewhere in Rebecca's room

just taunting me.

All right, look,
I just can't take it anymore.

We need to go retrieve
your manly dignity.

Rebecca's over you,
so now it's time you got over her.

- Yeah? Like how?
- Like we get that necklace back.

Cal, I'm not... I can't
do that, all right?

I'm taking the high road here.

But, I mean, if we were going to go
get it back, how would that work?

We can't just walk up the
stairs at ZBZ, you know?

No, no. See, I think I may
have someone on the inside

to get us into that boy-free zone.

- You in?
- I'm in!

All right.

Schooled in manly dignity
by a guy in purple leather.

You know, it's going
to get dark soon.

Should we set up the other tent?

What other tent?

Looks like there's just one tent.

Awesome, awesome.

All that body heat
will keep us warm.

Don't worry, we'll give
you two some private time.

Thanks.

Mmm! Dinner is amazing, Mr...

- Sorry. Tobias.
- Thank you.

Some more soy-mores?

Yeah, sure. Thanks.

Mmm. - Took me years
to perfect those,

but the bulghar burgers
are all Cappie.

He came up with the
recipe one summer

when we spent the entire year
at a converted wheat silo.

I was inspired by my surroundings.

He even got $1,
000 in scholarship money

from the Wheat Growers
Society of America.

Really? - You can get a whole
bunch of crazy-ass scholarships.

I mean, I got one for spelling,
one for being ambidextrous,

one for shaving "Stu's Steak Shack"
on the back of my head for two months.

As vegetarians, we weren't too happy
about that one, but we let it go.

He's such a smart kid.

You know, he has almost
a free ride to CRU.

Oh, oh! He is really smart.

I mean, he has taken so many
different types of classes.

Knowing Cappie, he probably has
enough credits to graduate already.

- Is that so?
- Cappie, why the rush?

Sounds like you're kind of
overextending yourself here.

Stay at CRU until you're really ready
to leave, no matter how long that takes.

Don't feel pressured by some
bourgeois four-year construct.

Learning can be a lifelong
process. - Mm-hmm.

- "Lifelong?"
- Yeah.

Mom, Dad, Casey,

I assure you I have no
intentions of rushing myself.

But, I mean,
how is that even feasible?

Your scholarship money is
going to run out sometime.

We have an inheritance from my
father's free-range ostrich farm.

He can stay as long as he likes.

But why would you want him
to stay at a college forever?

I mean, that's crazy.

We believe that life is about doing

what you as a person need to do,

not what society tells you tw do.

I thought you were gonna
back off about this.

OK, well, I can't. So, excuse me.

- Hi, Katherine.
- Hey, Rusty.

We need to talk about our date.

Oh, OK. Is it a matter
of dress formality

or estimated time of arrival?
Because I'm very prompt.

No. I can't go out with you.

I'm sorry.

But I'm dating Dana.

Is it because I'm weird?

No. Dana's weird, too.

OK. Is it because I'm a whore?

Because I threw
myself at you, or...?

Oh, you're not a whore, and no.

Well, I can't say that I'm not...

...disappointed here, Rusty.

I thought I had truly
found my match.

Yeah, I know. I know
how important that is.

You know, I know I
came on too strong,

but I was so excited about finding
a fellow amalgam like you,

you know, a Greek
who's also a geek.

I thought...

...that we had a unique
understanding of each other.

I know. We do.

And I thought, you know,
how perfect,

someone who would really understand

if I got caught up at a
four-hour chapter meeting,

and who would totally
not make fun of me...

...when I get so excited
about just cracking open

a brand-new textbook.

I would understand all that.

It does make sense.

I'm sorry it didn't
work out, Rusty.

Then I guess I'll be
going to Dobler's solo.

OK, wait, I might be rethinking...

Goodbye, Rusty.

Crap.

What the hell was all that about?

I thought we agreed on putting a
pin on the future stuff for now.

Yeah, that's because I thought your
mother was going to talk to you

about the future like
a rational person

instead of condoning this idea you
should stay in college forever.

I don't see why it's
such a big deal,

especially since you might
get into CRU law school.

- But what if I don't?
- But what if I do?

Cappie, please!

We can't do this again.

Is your mom playing Physical
on the pan-flute?

Does she think we're
going to do it in here?

Probably, yeah.

Oh, my God.

I love you.

And I want to be with you.

But I don't know
how that can happen

if you never want to graduate.

And beyond that, I see so
much more out there for you.

You have the potential to do something
extraordinary with your life.

So here we are again.

You want me to change
and I don't want to.

You don't, do you?

You're going to be
like your parents.

That's what you want? - Maybe,
and what's wrong with that?

And what's wrong with growing up?

* Let me hear your body talk,
your body talk *

* Let me hear your body talk *

* Let's get physical, physical *

Oh, back up. Evan
Chambers is your friend

I'm supposed to help infiltrate ZBZ?
No way, no how.

Get out of here! I'm not
afraid to use this spatula.

Come on, Dale. - Yeah.
How about some Christian charity?

Don't use my faith as a
cheap ploy, Chambers.

And I'm not one of those wussy,
loving Christians, OK?

I believe in a scary God who brings
hellfire to sinners like yourself.

Wow! Well, this is pointless,
so I'm just gonna go.

Rebecca can keep the stupid necklace.
I don't even care.

- Wait, Rebecca Logan?
- Yeah.

Why didn't you say so?
I'd aid and abet Satan himself

to bring down that icy temptress.

Welcome to ZBZ.

- Cool.
- OK.

Um, so what's the plan?

'Cause we gotta sneak
past the girls,

so maybe we need some
kind of distraction.

I got that covered.

Hey, ladies! Snickerdoodles
in the kitchen!

Low-carb snickerdoodles!

Don't justtand there admiring me.
You've got maybe five minutes

to sneak through the front door and
get upstairs before they realize

these are made with
high-fructose corn syrup. Go!

Wow. Who knew Rebecca
was such a minimalist?

Yeah, well, you know,
when you have no soul

you don't crave the comfort
of sentimental knick-knacks.

You can't even tell
they're low-carb.

Dale should go on Top Chef.

A-ha! - Fat-free
potato chips, girls!

OK, let's go. - Guess what?
They have a laxative effect.

She kept this from our first date.

- Why would she do that?
- Yeah, uh, I don't know.

Let's get the hell outta here.

These snickerdoodles taste carb-y.

- Are they?
- No.

Don't you lie to me, Dale.
This is my fifth one.

Would a loving Christian lie?

Dale, the girls left the
dining room table a disaster.

- How impolite of them.
- Well, what are you waiting for?

The table's not going
to clean itself.

No, it's not.

- Nah.
- OK, I think I screwed up.

I dumped Katherine,
but now I think I shouldn't have.

Because breaking up with her was
like breaking up with myself.

The Greek-geek amalgam. I've never met
one before. What if I never do again?

What if this is my only chance at
finding my perfect counterpart?

- Wait, what about Dana?
- I know.

If you really think about it, though,
isn't Katherine a better match?

Hold up.

Maybe I've got this all wrong.

Maybe Katherine isn't
the imperious blonde.

She just looks like one.
She is an underdog, too.

It's like in The Breakfast Club

where you find out Molly
Ringwald has low self-esteem

even though she's popular and hot.

Well, I don't think
any of that matters

because she's never gonna talk to
me again after what I just did.

Eh, not so fast.

The romantic comedy isn't
over until the credits roll.

And even then, sometimes there's
a funny part after the credits.

OK, Rusty...

...we have to find her,

no matter how impossible it seems.

Even if she's about to get married

or leaving for a semester at sea,

or accidentally launching
herself into space.

I think she's just at the
'80s party at Dobler's.

Oh. Or that.

Yeah. Let's go!

Casey, wait up!

Oh, are you going to the bathroom?

There's a bathroom?

Sure, you just duck behind a
tree and wipe with a leaf.

Oh. Yeah, I don't...
I don't really have to go.

Um, I just wanted to be by
myself for a little while.

Well, actually I
wanted to talk to you.

Is everything OK
with you and Cappie?

- We had a fight.
- Oh.

Anything that can't be resolved?

For what it's worth,
I know it meant a lot to him

for you to come out here tonight.

You're the most important
person in his life.

Thank you.

We moved around so much,

he had trouble bonding
with anyone other than us.

Sometimes I worry that it
wasn't the st thing for him.

The place he's lived longest
is the Kappa Tau house.

Well, Cappie's turned out
to be such a great guy.

I'm sure you had a
lot to do with that.

Thanks.

But you're the one now.

You're his new family.
You, and those boys.

You have been a good sport.

I know there's a lot of other
things you'd rather be doing

than spooning with a
couple of aging hippies.

I could see that this is
really not your thing.

Well, I mean, that's kind of what
Cappie and I were fighting about.

It seems like his thing and
my thing are different,

and we haven't quite figured
out how to make that work.

Honey, he loves you
for who you are.

You can figure this out,
and I really hope you do

because he's gonna need
you now more than ever.

What do you mean?

Well, um, Tobias and
I are splitting up.

Tobias is telling him right now.

Um... You're getting divorced?

Oh, no, hon. Uh...

We were never really married.

Except for that Navajo ceremony,

but that was really more
of a group love thing.

Anyway, we're going
our separate ways.

But, um, why?

We've been fighting a lot lately,

and Tobias has this great opportunity
in Austin and I'd rather stay in Maine.

I don't know. Some
things just stop working.

The funny thing is, as soon as we
accepted it was going to be over,

the fighting stopped.

The pressure was off.

But you guys seem to
really love each other.

Isn't that worth fighting for?

Not all relationships are
meant to last forever,

even when you're in love.

Some love stories
are short stories.

But they are love
stories all the same.

Oh, don't use these.
They have kind of sharp edges, OK?

See you back at camp

I'm gonna go do some yoga.

* Hey, hey, hey, hey *

* Ooh, yeah *

Oh!

I guess '80s bad taste
extends to beverages.

Here's to the closing

of the Rebecca Logan
chapter of my life.

That was pretty convincing.

Why are you still angsting?
Is it that stupid ticket stub?

I can't start trying to
figure out her motives again.

You know? It's too late.

Right. You need to move on,
all right?

You gotta find another
girl to talk to.

Like, uh... Oh! Like her.

- What? Katherine?
- Yeah

I don't know.
She's a little... intense.

You don't have to marry her.
Just talk to her.

Get back on your feet.

Yeah, yeah.

You know what? You're right.

You're right. I'm just gonna
throw myself back out there.

All right.

Hey, Katherine! You having fun?

I was going to say I'm not
really into parties, but I won't.

Based on recent events, I think I
need to be more of a people person.

Um, well, hey,
can I buy you a drink?

OK. A sloe gin fizz would be fine.

OK.

Oh my God, Rusty, I got so
caught up in your love story

I forgot to put on my costume!

Really?

There. Flashdance.

OK.

Look, there she is and she's alone.

Go talk to her!

Wait, wait, wait!
What are you gonna say?

Ash, if you don't mind,
I'm gonna go off script on this one.

Ooh, improv. How '90s.

You're right. You go, you see her,

you look her in the eye
and in that moment,

you just know.

Go.

Katherine!

Hey, sorry it took
so long... Rusty.

The preppy jackass!

What did you call me?

You heard me.

Now just excuse us.
I have to talk to Katherine.

Yeah, well, you just
called me a jackass, so...

Rusty, look, why don't
you just back off.

Evan's in a rough spot,
he sorta broke up with Rebecca.

Oh! So he found out she
slept with Beaver then?

- What?
- Ooh.

Beaver? That piece of crap?

That's my brother
you're talking about.

Your brother can
hardly stand upright.

Rebecca didn't think so.

Evan, what the hell?!

You know what? You're right.
I feel a lot better.

The preppy jackass strikes again.

* I don't give a damn *

* About the castle on the hill *

* Or the gold that we could eat *

* Or the horse you have for sale *

* No, I'm getting kind of rich *

* On the side of any soul *

* Well, I *

* I don't give a damn... *

Are you OK?

Yeah.

Evan and I have kind of a history.

Oh, dear.

Can I ask... what you
wanted to talk to me about?

Oh...

I wanted to say...

Hi. Happy '80s.

Hi.

Happy '80s to you.

OK, see you later, Rusty.

Bye, Katherine.

Hey.

What happened? Are you OK?

Yeah. Evan's a jerk,

but he stopped me
from making a mistake.

What do you mean?

I looked into her eyes,
like you said.

I realized that I wanted a girl who
spits her gum out accidentally,

and wears a maxi-pad
around her knee,

and bakes really good maple
bars just to make me feel cozy.

A girl who that enough
confidence to turn me down flat

when I was dumb enough
to overlook her.

That doesn't even sound
like a real person.

It is.

Katherine and I are a lot alike,
that's true.

But Dana gives me something more.
She inspires me.

She's proud of who she is.
That's who I want to be.

That's who I want to be with.

Oh, Rusty!

Is that from Adventures
in Babysitting?

It's not from anything.
That's how I feel.

But I already left Dana a
message breaking our date.

So it's too late.

Maybe not yet.

I have one more movie idea.

Come on.

Moi?

So I guess you heard.

I'm so sorry, Cap.

You know, looking back at the past day,
all the signs were there.

They weren't making out in front
of me nearly as much as usual.

Oh.

I'm sorry if I made
everything worse.

But there's something I
want to talk to you about.

Casey, I'm really not
in the mood right now...

Wait. Just listen, OK?

I'm sorry I tried to change you.
I won't do that anymore.

I can accept you,
just the way you are.

What about graduation? And May?

We'll worry about that in May.

Dana! Dana Stockwell!

Crap. We forgot the Peter Gabriel.

See if you can find
something on the radio.

Wait...

Yeah.

Dana!

It's Rusty!

* It's all I can do *

I made a mistake and I'm really,
really sorry!

We are back and now with
the weather...

- If you're there.
- Who're you Lloyd-Doblering?

You. Didn't you get my message?

Oh! Yeah. About captions? I agree.

What? - There waa lot of static,
but you said we needed to talk?

It sounded like you like...
captions?

I assumed you meant
for the written report

for the grant project.

The... Yes. That is what I meant.

Captions will make the
illustrations so much clearer!

Did you need to talk to
me about anything else?

No.

That's the moment.

Hey, Ash.

Hey, happy camper!

Oh no, it was that bad?

Um... We camped. We ate. We talked.

There was flute-playing.

And I finally woke up.

In a tent, right?
Was it really uncomfortable?

Uh, it was surprisingly
comfortable once I let go.

So, how are things with Cappie?

Well, we're not fighting anymore.

Oh, great.

This whole time I've been
trying so hard to get him

to wake up and face reality.

But really, it was me who
needed to face reality.

What do you mean?

Cappie and I aren't
built to last, Ash.

We work here, in college.

And I don't think we'll
work anywhere else.

No. You can make it work.

There's... There's gotta be like,
a movie, or something.

Why did I put all my DVDs away? Where's St.
Elmo's Fire?

No, it's OK. It's OK, Ash. Um...

I'm OK with it.

Cappie and I aren't a movie.

We're a short story.

But a really good one.