Greek (2007–2011): Season 2, Episode 2 - Crush Landing - full transcript

Previously on Greek

I just met the man
I'm going to molest.
Where the hell is he?

- He is like BigFoot.
- No, he is the Hot Ness monster.

- Rebecca what the hell are you doing?
- I'm getting rowdy.

- What?
- Pledge gone wild at spring break.

Ohio's Senator Ken Logan

has been implicated in a sweep
of a hired prostitution ring .

- I heard about your dad.
- He didn't even call me.

Rebecca is in trouble,
and I can't hold her together all by myself.

You're stronger than you think.

I don't want to be hated at ZBZ.



Which it would be if
Casey sees me as an enemy.

OK. Bad news ...
We're out of milk.

I'd hug you right now but I'm afraid to get
my hands too close to your mouth.

Is it just me or do all my exboyfriend has
some weird ZBZ finish?

- It does appear to be a patern.
- First ... She breaks Evan and me,

and now she is all frontaly kissing
him in very public places,

doing all what all the crap people done me
before spring break.

I know, I'm over Evan and I know
I should be all Jennifer Aniston,

and rise all above it
but I just want to bite things.

Hey calm down, just let the "empty calories"
work their way into your bloodstream.

Casey can we talk?

I want to bite her. Please... just, just once in
the jugular.

- Try back later.
- Casey please, just let me in.

- Let her in.
- Fine. Sit.



- Ash
- Stay

I've a lot of nice things in here,
I don't want blood on them.

Case, I know you must hate me.

This all happened so fast.

During spring break,
Evan and I...

Well, we made a connection ...
I tried to tell you all week

but with the chaos of Greek Week,
and the visit from Tegan, I couldn't find the right time.

I think she wants you to continue...

I don't know what else to say.

Try "I'm sorry."

I'm sorry you'd to find it that way
But I hope we could move beyond this.

I am not ready to move beyond this Franny.

I need time to process...

- Well, if we could just talk about it, then maybe ...
- Processing!

Yeh, her mouth is empty.
You should probably go.

Right.

Okay.

Well I'll just check back in later then.

I need a ding dong, stat.

It's time to laundry drop off.
- I can't talk. I'm already late for class.

Oh, your pants are already down there ?

Oh damn.

It's not your bear legs that just makes me chuckle

But that happy girly attitude does not
extend for my boxers.

They need to be folded in quarters,
not rolled.

I need it delivered by 5 tomorrow.
I'm in emergency on this right up...

- My door is closed.
- I bet the keys are in the pants?

- What do I do now?
- Get the RA to open your door.

My what?

Come here.

It's RA's room.
He never comes out.

You're sure your an honor engineering?

RA stands for...

Regular Afordy ...?

What is it? I swear my mind going out.
I hope it's not from drinking.

Resident Adviser.

Thank you, God.
I can keep boosing.

Where did he go?

I don't know.

Tell you what? Your big brother
wants you to borrow a pair of jeans.

The stain in front is from toothpaste,
I think ...

Hey ho, calling Dr. Genius ...

- There they are.
- Take and make a class and suck a platz of smartiness.

I'm so late already, I'll probably just skip.

Wait you're serious?

Yeah

Episode 2x02 ...
Crush Landing

Allysiah, § § AkaZab, Coke,
Nemone, Odonata , Kasius, Pasjoma.

You are cordially invited
to the ZBZ Crush Party.

Where? Dobler's.
When? Friday night, 8pm.

calm down

Don't scratch me!

Those girls could turn "Crush Party" litteraly here.

May I have an extra one?

- Oh, You have two crushes?
- No, I want to give one to that crusty guy

who is always scratching himself and tell
him it's from Frannie.

- Would that make you feel better?
- Only if he shows up

and licks her face.

These are great thought,
you truly are a glue gun goddess.

Thanks. A skill that
would come in handy

since I'm going to grow old all alone

with nothing to live for either than
my love of scrapbooking.

Come on, there's gonna be someone
you're crushing on!

There is, but I do not know his address,
or what school he goes to

or his name.

The Hot Ness monster?

- Ash, you met him once.
- Once was enough.

OK, prepare yourself for some tough love :

You may never see him again.

You bitch.

OK, it's cruel but true.

Is that flip flap in there?

No.

Really?

That is my bottle opener
that I keep for emergencies.

You sleep with that thing,

and I think it is time that you stop.

There are tons of guys out there who would kill
to get a Crush Party invite from you.

Well said.

Crush Parties are so exciting :
anonymous invitations

chances encounters.

- Are we speaking yet? Because there are some...
- Still processing.

I have got to run to the career sonar.
I'm late for my intro appointment.

It is a complicated process.

Crush Party.
Friday night.

Isn't the whole point of Crush Parties
that the invitation is anonimous?

Who said it's from me?

I have a crush?
I wonder who it is.

Wait, are you going to be there?
I'm just wondering because it could get awkward.

Or you could join us,
and it could get awsome.

My dad has totally humiliated me.

- I admire Chelsea Clinton too.
- Me too.

Now that she grunder
her face, she is foxy.

I wish this would all go away.

What would you do if you were me?

I'd propably distract myself with other pressing issue

like what you would be wearing to set crush party?
Heels or flat?

- A bag over my head?
- Like an actual bag or ...

This story is on the cover of USA Today
for the third day in a row.

Do they still have Garfield?

- He is a cat that likes lasagna.
- Will you be serious for a moment?

The most personal aspects of my life
are painfully public.

- Worked for Paris Hilton.
- We'll not be making a sextape, Cap.

- I've been the star of enough wild videos,
thank you very much.
- I'm not talking about a sextape,

though we could talk about that
whenever you're ready.

I'm talking about fame.

You are already famous, Rebecca.
Your father took care of that for you.

The question is:
are you going to taste the perks of that fame?

This is the place where they're
handing out jobs, right?

I sure hope so.

I thinking puppeteer honestly.
Or dolphins trainer.

Maybe rollercoaster tester.

I'll be happy with international pop-star.

- Andrew Collins
- Casey Cartwright.

That'd look great on a business card.

I don't think international pop-star carries them.

I have a favor to ask you.

Ask away.

Please save me from having to read
about the pregnant man

but telling me your life story.

You want to know
how he got pregnant?

No, no, not at all.

Where to begin?

Nerd word on the street is that you skipped your
polymer seminar today.

I over slept.
That happens.

Then maybe the cons in middle torture
inflicted on you by your fraternity brothers,

has finally taken its toll.
- No, I'm not tired of pledging,

I'm bored with class.
All we do is read and regurgitate.

Read and regurgitate. You know?

I bet your regurgitate of this RA didn't show up soon.

Yeah, well maybe it wants to make a dramatic entrance,
to assert its authority.

He's gonna find out pretty quick that there's certain
habits that nobody's gonna change in me.

- Such as?
- Such as ...

occasionally not wearing underwears.

You're not the only one taking a walk on
the wild side in college, my friend.

You know what, I think
that this all meet the RA thing is a scam.

It's the senior kicking of senior's dockades
cause it's the exact right time of the year.

What's the senior's dockades?

Are you sure that you're even in the
honor engineering program?

Because everybody knows
what the senior's dockades are.

- Just enlight me.
- Okay.

The senior barricade their rooms
and the interclassmen try to break in.

- And we do this because ...
- We do this because it's an awesome tradition

passed down throught the generations
by our engineering forefathers.

- Fun.
- The seniors also usually leave prizes behind

for those who get in.

Like last year, I heard this one guy got the box
"Star Trek: The Next Generation."

So this better not be a wet blanket.

I'm Max,
and my intention is not to be a wet blanket.

I prefer to be a dry blanket.

What ever that means.
Or, I don't know, I was gonna say...

Never mind .

I assume you all sort of know the drill.

I'm your new residential advisor.

Yeah, I'm here in the unfortunate even,
you know, lose your keys,

miss your parents.

Which I hope, by now, you all
kind of come to terms with.

Or in case you try to kill each other,
or yourselves,

which, you know, for what it's forth,
I hope you wouldn't do either.

But I don't really know any of you.

I'm here.

He didn't set
much authority.

That's because he knows that nobody
can make me wear underwear.

Almost.

- What are you guys doing?
- Invented this game called "Kappa Tau Tower".

We've been playing for 4 hours.

Your breath is making it move.

Looks like somebody is digging
the old hair ball of my draining.

Damn it!

Evil these things.

I finished your laundry.

- You ironed my jeans?
- Yeah, don't you do that?

What has gotten into you, Spitter?

- What do you mean?
- You're skipping classes,

you're avoiding schoolwork.
It's like you're a real life boy.

I'm taking this honour seminar polymers
and it has become non stop drudge work.

I'm having a really hard time
staying motivated.

- And the problem is ...?
- It is not like me.

- Never mind. You wouldn't understand.
- Why not?

Because it is a serious problem.

This week, I'm learning how to

be sympathetic to other people's serious problems.

So give me the scoop.

When I was 11 years old and
I got my first allowance,

I went out and bought Sully Putty.

I think I bought porn, but go on.

This was the coolest toy ever.
You could balance it like a ball,

stretch it like clay,

throw it up on the wall
like a "Water-Gum"

You could press it in the comics and the paper
in order to transfer the images.

Like Garfield, right?

- I love him.
- It was this amazing material,

and people made it.
I know sounds strange,

but I had to know how.
So I was went to the library

and I found this book about inorganic polymers
and this all world just opened up.

Kevlar,
nylon,

Post-it notes,

duck tape.

The world is filled with man made miracles.

And I couldn't wait to get to college ...

Boredom.

Life's too short man.

Did you ever think that maybe you
are in the wrong major.

There you go, serious problem solved.
See I'm good at this.

OK, let's review the plan.

Yes, he comes out of class, I hand him the invite.
It's not that difficult.

I know, I know, but its all about you present it to him.

You can't just show it at him.

You have to present it with some fan effects.

Wow, you're crushing hard.

I can tell because you are obsessing
over the weirdess things.

I believe that's the case of the
flip flop calling sandal black.

Touch?.

So you're sure he'll be here?

He orgasms on his history class.

I know because we bonded over
the way she says Matisse.

You think this is so funny too.

OK Tom, just point out your KT.

There he is.
Hot Ness monster.

I can believe he goes to school here.

I don't understand how this can happen.

- We never liked the same guy before.
- You pit on Clooney!

We are on untreat territory.

You know what?
You should take him.

After all, you've been obsessed with him longer.

- OK.
- Really?

Because ...

Maybe we could share him.
I'll take the top half and ...

Wait.

Let me think that through.

It's not just us inviting him you know.

Someone else is inviting him?

Is it Laura?
Oh that little slut.

No. I mean, he should get some saying too, right?

I guess so.

So we give him an invitation, he comes to the party,

we see who he clicks with the most and,

the other respectfully bass out.

- Well, that sounds so mature of us.
- I know, right.

I like mature us.

So how do we get the invite to him
and both remain anonymous?

- How is going?
- Uh, good.

We have a favour.
Take this crush invite.

A ZBZ invite?

I've always dreamt of getting one of these.

And just give it to that guy over there.

Yeah, but don't tell him it's from us.

Genetic freak.

This just knows wrong.

Honey, when life gives you lemons, make lemon drops.

Let's go to Dobler's and sit in the back and talk.

Why talk when you can do?

Now lets mess up your hair,
and don't forget to be out of breath,

and busted.

Mister ... Kwon.

You're looking at a pair of students
who have been hunted across campus.

Our predators?
Photographers.

She can not walk all the way to and from her classes.

She needs one of those platinum faculty parking passes.

The most covered parking pass on campus?

Can you think of anyone more deserving

or vulnerable right now than
Miss Rebecca Logan?

- Paparazzi, uh?
- They are vicious.

Just ask Amy Winehouse.

Help me, Toby Kwon,
you're my only hope.

Okay, but you didn't get this from me.

Let's capture this moment, shall we.

Lemon drops, Miss Logan.

There it is.

I think I need some advice from an upper class man
in honour engineering program.

In my polymer seminar, I'm just having a
very difficult time staying focused and motivated.

- OK, so you're bored.
- Which I've never been before in science.

- Is it too hard for you?
- Not really.

- That's pretty arrogant.
- I didn't mean it that way.

It sounded that way.

Look, have you ever questioned whether
or not you should be an engineer?

No.

But if you are bored,

maybe it's best that you leave the program.

Really?
Wouldn't that be a fairly complicated process?

I mean getting in to honour engineering
is pretty complicated.

No, you just fill out a form.

That my parents need to sign?

No.

That my adviser needs to sign?

No.

So that's it?

It's that easy to drop out of honour engineering.

My life long dream of being a polymer scientist

can end, with filling out one form.

This is so exciting, it's like we're
bachelor and we made it to final ceremony.

Yeah, only we're not skinky thirty something
who's trying to sabotage eachother.

Yeah mature us!

Have you seen my lucky lip gloss?

Are you wearing heels?

Of course why?

It's just that it gives you an unfair height advantage.

You'll get more eye contact.

I'll tell you what, I'll wear flats if you
take out your chicken cotelets.

I don't know what you are talking about?

Oh, those?

I bet these get more eye contacts than my heels.

You're being ridiculous.

I'm being ridiculous?
Maybe it's you who's being ridiculous.

Sorry, I'm interrupting something?

No, I was...

I was just telling Casey how much
I wished I had her eyes.

They're beautiful.

Well, I wish I had your smile.

Your teeth are like
snow-capped mountains.

- We're gonna have so much fun, I can wait to see...
- Still processing.

Choosing is a tough decision
because we are both beautiful.

Inside and out.

And if there's anyone I'd rather be rejected for,

- it's you.
- Dido.

Now when is he getting here?

I'm Ashley, from spring break.

Right. What a coincidence.

- And Casey Cartwright too.
- In the flesh.

And I suppose one of you
sent me this invite.

- Maybe!
- I did!

Someone left you a form outside.

- What is it?
- Nothing.

Did you enter some kind of contest, academic
or worst thing either I should know about?

Request for withdraw?

You're droping out of polymer science?

- I'm just thinking about it.
- No Rusty, you can't do this.

I said I'm just thinking about it.

Trust me, you can't do this,
this would be a huge mistake.

Finally. Thank you.

Because than I'd have to get a new roommate,

and I'm not spending the last two months of
my freshman year with some fanatical nutjob.

Yes, that'd be horrible.

Why would they make me move anyway?

Because this is the honours engineering hall,
not the average engineering hall.

Who is this RA guy?

Let's go see who protocols this, come on.

This isn't a done deal, it is just that...

- I've been questioning whether or not...
- Hold on.

Wait, wait, where did this door go?

The seniors dockades!

We have to go in there.

I don't know Dale
I'm kind of having a late crisis.

We need to be wearing protective eyewear.

I'm in.

So why would you want to
drop out of polymer science?

It's not just as exciting as I thought it would be.

Brenching out, joining a fraternity,
that's been awesome.

Maybe I need to explore academicly as well.

You should join me in electrical engineering.
It rocks.

Or as I like to say, it shocks.

Let's get this out.

This guy is good, who would have guessed
I mean he incased the whole room in plastic.

This isn't just any plastic,

ths is a poly-methyl methyculate.

No, I know that I just...

I didn't want you to feel stupid
if you didn't know.

You know what this means?

Let's here who's Johnny.

Wait!
This is solid shatter proof glass.

The ax would bounce right off of it.

What do we do now, then?

Chloroform would dissolve it.

Oh, you know, I used my last bottle of
chloroform when I was on murdercy road.

- We could try acetone.
- I got some nill posh for ever.

I explain but that is

all and long involving story,
and we don't have time right now.

- Hi Casey!
- Still processing.

- She seems touchee.
- Well you got your wish.

Casey's freaking out.

- And you have a problem with that because?
- Because it's a situation I have to manage.

Yeah but why do you care?

I mean were you and Casey ever really that close?

We were.

But she has always been closer to Ashleigh.

Her giant siamese twin.

- Someone's jealous.
- I'm not jealous.

Their birds of a feather easily
distracted from the big picture.

They are also very liked in the house which means

- if they make me a pariah again I'm...
- What is she gonna tell them?

Frannie is dating my ex-boyfriend?

You know it already happened with Rebecca.

If anything, that's just gonna make her look like a...

jealous lunitate.

You are so damn sexy.

And that's how I got this scar.

That is the most fascinationg story I ever heard.
Let me see.

I know it sounds stupid, but it's the
first time I realized my own mortality.

- And I even kept the glasses as a reminder.
- That is so sweet.

Ashleigh likes to keep little momentoes too, don't you?

I keep things that means something to me.

Objects, not ex-boyfriends.

- So you guys are best friends, right?
- And roommates.

Since all four years.

It's been so long I don't even
notice her snoring anymore.

Yeah, we've seen each other
throught good times and bad.

Like that time you hooked up with that 16 year-old.

Too funny!

Or that time that you through yourself at the gay guy.

My Gosh.
Hilarious.

But enough about us.
We want to hear more about you.

Like do you have any pets?

- I have a dog at home, named Shadow ...
- Ash is terribly allergic!

Do you like icecream?
Cause Casey is crazy lactose intolerance.

- Ash hate Will Ferrell movies.
- Casey loves Mariah Carey.

I've got to go to the bathroom.

- Things gotten softer.
- Yeah but not enough to matter.

We could try irradiating it.
Can we get a hold on the laser?

There is one upon the ship, Captain Kirk.

Samir Elizabeth use dynamite to blow up
some senior door over in Daphne hall.

Do you want to go?

No, we've come so far.

All right Rusty, listen I'm getting
in the dorm room tonight.

It's dynamite,
it's literally gonna be a blast.

No, you go ahead.

Heat.

- Hey guys!
- Hey, Betsy!

I wanted to let you know that
I'm commited to living sober

- and my 12-step plan for a success.
- That's great.

One step in my plan is making amends.
So I wanted to apologize.

I know that my drinking cause problems for both of you.

And when I think

that my crazy behavior kept either of you from

having a potential relationship with a
boy that could have been awesome.

- Well it makes me feel like...
- Incredibly selfish?

Like you've been a huge flirty butt face?

Like you stood in the way of two soulmates
who were meant to be together.

OK wow, I get it, all right! I messed up!

It's gonna be a lot harder than I thought.
I have to go call my sponsor.

- OK, I have a solution to stop all this.
- Me too.

You leave.

Or we each get 15 minutes with him, alone.

After that, he has to choose.

Works for me. I'm much better one on one anyway.

I'll go first!

So you can tell him about my waxing regiment?
I don't think so.

I'm first.

So you can tell him
I'm afraid of little people?

Pretty sneaky, sis!

Fine, we flip a coin.

Heads!

You're still at it?

It's thermal plastic so it should respond to heat.
How do you do?

Let's just say it's a mere exaggerate quite a bid:

his dynamite was 3 cherry bombs.

Wouldn't have blown out my little sister's doll house.

but I could get away with this close hanger.
I mean it could have been easier.

So I can sleep victorious.

- What was the reward?
- Oh, the dude left his batteries.

Heat is just too diffuse.

You better find a way to focus it in a hurry,
you've got 30 minutes.

- What do you mean?
- The senior dockades end at midnight.

Maybe this will help you.

- One digital card.
- Check.

- 2 diner passes to restaurant.
- Check.

Kobe beef with first gelato who knew?

I have to admit Cappie.

You've proven the scandals do have an up side.

This must be how it feels to be
Heidi and Spencer.

What do girls have to do here
around to get a Lemon Drop?

Turn 21 years?

I am working on that.

- So where is Cassie?
- She'll be back in 14 and a half minutes.

Can you believe that we are seating here together!

I mean, first we meet at spring break.

And then we both end up going to the same school!

It has to be fate.

Totally, spring break was awesome.

The awesomest.

So was your volleyball spike.
Are you on a team here?

No, I don't play volleyball.
I wear too much jewelry.

Isn't that how we met?

No, we met at a party.

At the Hot House.

You tripped me with your giant foot.

That party was insane!

In fact, weren't you wearing a lifejacket!

No, I was actually wearing an
adorable green tunic,

with flower bouquet.

Chuncky.

A "Peace" necklace.

A pink hat.

The whole week is a fuzzy blair.

In fact, I lost one of my favourite flip flap.

- I gonna go get another drink.
- I can grab you one.

No, you just stay put.

He's all yours.

But you still have 13 minutes.

He is so not my type. I don't know what
I was thinking? Temporary insanity, I guess.

But he is your Hot Ness monster.

Correction: was ...

Now it's your fun new guy.

Yeah, fun new guy.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, go.

Oh wait.

I found your lucky lip gloss,
some how it ended up in my purse.

Right on time.

Surrounded to Spitter.

It is locked.

It's over.

You've been in there this whole time?

Yeah and I will use the torch,
so you may well stand back.

So what did you think of your first Crush Party?

It's heavy.

Crush, heavy.

Got it.

I'm sorry about all the weirdness.

You're just worried about Ashley, it's fine.

She is an amazing girl,

great personality,

unique fashion sens, beautiful body.

She is gonna make some guy crazy happy.

Maybe they'll even get married on a reality show.

They could invite the pregnant man.

They could, yes. Thought, by then he'd
probably wouldn't be pregnant.

The point is that she'll be fine.

You should add "cheering people up"
to your r?sum?,

under special skills.

I should.

Right below "kissing."

You're hired.

Good night.

What should we do now?

- You're still here?
- Where is your key hole?

I changed the door.

- That can't be fair.
- Senior dockades has no rules so.

- Ipso facto, there is no fair.
- Well, then I guess you've won.

Come inside.

What is this?

The suicide prevention hotline.

- They are open 24 hours.
- I'm not suicidal.

Good, I've heard it's tons of paperwork.

I'm just looking for a reason to be a
polymer scientist.

Do they have a hotline for that?

Well, my reason is kevlar,
you can borrow it if you want.

You're in polymers?

First time I knew it, I was in my dad tire shop
where I worked on the weekends,

I was trying to tear appart this thread of kevlar from
a busted tire which, of course, you can't

because it's indestructible.

I actually cut my hand up pretty badly.

And it dondon me that some guy

just created this,

it was a guy and a girl actually,
Stephanie Kwolec and ...

Robert whatever, sorry.

My point is

someone thought to take the tiniest
of particules to create something

far superior to anything that is naturally forming.

Like Sully Putty.

Incredible stuff, huh?

Consider it your reward for almost getting in.

I'm impressed you didn't give up.

- I guess I can't walk away from a puzzle.
- Which is why you are a scientist.

And that's why you're a
polymer scientist.

- Time to go.
- No way. You work for NASA.

So you must be a genius.

I guess so.

Alright, it's a mixed bag.

Steve Dobbler won't budge a whole
serving alcohol to minors thing.

But if you don this shirt every Thursday

he'll compense nachos for the rest of the year.

Free nachos.

lipped in salt, grease, covered in sour cream ...
Lord I'm hungry!

- Look, I'll give you some more stuff, I'm...
- Cap, my parents just called.

They're getting a divorce.

I'm sorry.

I bet going back savage will cheer you up.
Give me a straw,

and I'll drink apple juice through my nose.

That's it?

I can also burp the Star-Spangled Banner.

You want me to go with you?

I don't think Lemon Drops can fix this, Cap.

Up freeing some feelings?

What happened with Hot Ness?
I mean, Drew.

Let's just say I'm not Frannie.

He's into Frannie now?

He needs to seriously make up his mind.

He was walking me home

when I saw Frannie kissing her new boyfriend.

And it dondoned me.

What got me so ticked off about Frannie
is not she's with Evan,

it's that she chose the possibility
of a relationship with a guy

over our friendship,

and I was in the process of doing the same thing to you

with Drew.

No, Case. Really.

It's fine. Drew is a great guy

and he's totally into you, not me.

- He didn't even remember me.
- What?

That's impossible. You're unforgettable.

- Apparently not.
- Well you are to me.

And there is no guy on earth, dreamy enough

to come between us.

Come here.

Except maybe Christian Bale.

Or Johnny Depp.

Johnny Depp.

For you totally. Totally for you.

May I have some?

Of course.

Sometimes, you just have to wake up
and smell the coffee, you know.

You're smilling.

- May take it as you're done processing?
- It's been processed,

packaged and put on a shelf.

so we're friends again?

Absolutely not.

What does that mean?

Evan cheated on me,

and lied to me and tried to manipulate me, Frannie.

By dating him, you're basically saying that's OK.

You're choosing him over me.

- I don't see it that way, Case.
- I don't care, Fran.

What happens now?

What happens to big sis, little sis?

We're sisters forever, Frannie.

We're just no longer friends.