Greek (2007–2011): Season 1, Episode 22 - Spring Broke - full transcript

- Previsously...
- You're my little brother.

- To trust me, take this back.
- Going back to Omega Chi.

So Evan wins.

We said we weren't gonna let our houses
get in the way of us being friends.

- You did nothing.
- It was a prank!

I used to see everything in terms
of whether it would piss off my parents.

I just didn't want people to think
I was dating you to get to her.

- You like Michael, right?
- I think so.

Gentlemen,
it's time to get your fake Ids.

Chad Stewart.

I'm not interested in being
anyone's warm body.



I'm gonna go tell Casey I'm an idiot
and I want her back.

She wants us to be friends,

I said I was on board,
but I don't think I am.

Did you pay Shane Mullen
to stay away from me?

- How could you be so spiteful?
- I didn't do it to be.

- Why?
- Because I love you.

I think you should take some time.

- Get your head together.
- We're done.

Maybe instead of trying to keep
all the guys away from one girl,

find a girl who thinks
you're the only guy.

Why do you want to be a lawyer?

It was easier to follow Evan's path.

I know what kind of law
I want to practice: none.

Can you pick up my mail
while you're... You're packing?



It's spring break.
Why would I not be?

I assumed that you were gonna
be sticking around campus.

I need a break.
I'm not a machine,

contrary to what my academics imply.

So while you're submerged in surf, sand

and sin with your fraternity brothers
in South Carolina,

I am gonna be engaged in something
far less reckless in Virginia.

You're...

- I have no idea.
- Wild turkey hunting with my family.

Killing turkeys is safer
than going to the beach?

Are you familiar with the dangers
of spring break?

Drunken injury?

Pregnancy?
Parasailing gone awry?

What about the people injured
or killed while hunting?

They're just morons.

This is spring break.

This is the most sacred
of college traditions.

Why waste that on your parents?
Do something with your friends,

like take a road trip to warmer weather.

As if it ever gets that cold here.

Have fun killing turkeys.

Have fun perpetuating stereotypes
of wasted, reckless, youth.

Two minutes, girls.

And windows...

Check.

The house is officially ready
for lockdown,

which means in two minutes
I am officially on spring break!

I can feel the weight of my presidential
duties lifting from my shoulders.

Could you put it on my suitcase?

We're going to Myrtle Beach for a week,
not a year-long expedition to Mars.

I have to bring everything
Teresa bought me.

- Teresa Visa. She's very generous.
- But your card is a Credit Plus.

I know, but nothing cute rhymes
with Credit Plus.

- There!
- Think this will fit in your car?

Lucky for you, I packed light.

All I need is sunscreen, a sarong
and an iPod filled with beach music.

I'm leaving the rest of my baggage
behind: literally and figuratively.

No Jimmy Buffet.

We have plenty of time to listen to him
when we are old and sad.

No Buffet.

No ex-boyfriends.
No Zeta Beta business.

Most of all, no worrying
about the gaping hole that is my future.

I plan to flirt with boys

and check things
off the spring break list.

Oh my god, where did you find this?

In my old beach towel. Remember
when we made these freshman year?

We were such wide-eyed
spring break virgins.

There are still things on here.
I'd like to finish it.

- Like what?
- Playing a drinking game,

entering a contest and skinny dipping.

Casey Cartwright gone wild!

It's time.

Let's go, let's go!

Spring break awaits!

Lift off!

Season 1 - Episode 22 (FINAL)
" Spring Broke "

- Synchro : Kasius
¤AkaZab¤

Hurry up!
You're wasting valuable party time!

Get in here!

Welcome aboard.

We know you have many choices in travel
and we thank you for choosing KT Air.

I love this bus.

It has taken the Kts to Myrtle Beach
for 32 spring breaks in a row.

It is a legend.

Pledge Cartwright will be serving chips
and fries in the main cabin.

And this bus makes only five stops
and five stops only for gas.

- What about...?
- Only for gas.

So cool.

Come on, come on.

Are we there yet?

Wait for me!

Final answer!

Excuse me.
Hi, we're checking in.

Welcome to the Yacht House Inn,
where your vacation is shipshape.

- How may I help you?
- Reservation under ZBZ, CRU Chapter.

Two rooms for the week. Enjoy.
I said: "Final answer!"

I think there's been a mistake.
We have five rooms reserved.

No you don't.

We'll take three more rooms, please.
And you can put it on the card.

We're sold out, suge. I don't know
if you've heard, but it's spring break.

Connie?

We'd like some ice in my room,
please, and a few extra towels.

Rebecca, you're here.

- And so are you, finally.
- How did you beat us?

We took her father's jet
and it was awesome!

And Daddy's travel staff booked us
this huge suite.

You should come up to our floor later.

Wait up.

There's been a minor snafu
with our reservation.

Would you and the pledges be willing to

share your rooms with us sisters?

After all, nobody wanna
sleep on the floor.

Actually we're going to use this week
to bond as a pledge class.

Having sisters in the room
would change the dynamic, so...

No problem, little sis.

Who plans on sleeping anyway?

Check out this dingy motel.
This is even dingier than I imagined.

- Was that a...?
- It was a car backfiring, probably.

Whoever wants to hit downtown,
we're leaving ahora!

Isn't this place great?
Only $199 a night!

Has anyone seen my bag?

Coming through!

Watch the outfit!

That's a brand-new flip...

- ... flop.
- Sorry.

I've got these giant clown feet
that aren't always under my control.

Giant feet.

How about let my flip flop
make it up to yours.

- How did you... do that?
- It's my secret weapon.

Double-fisting tonight, huh?

Just single-fisting.
I mean, I'm single.

Just an FYI.

I hope to see you around.

You will.

Where have you been?
That beer run was more of a marathon.

I just met the man I'm going to molest.

He is crazy gorgeous

super generous.
He opened our beers with his shoe.

What's up?

So who is he? Where's he from?

No clue! That is the great thing
about spring break!

All new boys to play with.

Please tell me
it's not the guy in the doo-rag.

I know how you love men
with accessories.

Where the hell is he?

I'm sure he's around here somewhere.

He's like Bigfoot.

He's the Hot Ness Monster.

This is a party!
It's great, huh?

It's like an Omega Chi party,
only with less clothes.

And that, my friend,
that is the beauty of spring break.

Some pretty chilly body language.

I think I'm ready
for a new conversation.

- Happy spring break, Evs.
- Right back at ya, Frannie.

Keep moving.
Nothing to see here.

- Wishing you'd taken the jet?
- Miss Beaver moon a state trooper?

Never. Our spring break pilgrimage
is a sacred tradition.

If you want a ride home,
the skies are very friendly.

Miss Logan, you're putting my tray table
in its upright position.

- Let's go for a walk on the beach.
- But I was gonna meet the boys out.

We're gonna go to a bar
with all-you-can-drink beer for $5.

- You spent all day with 'em on the bus.
- It's happy hour.

- You should come with us.
- Look around.

We've got you, me, the moon, sand, surf.

Pretty romantic, huh?

Spring break's for being rowdy,
not romantic.

Our romance is often rowdy.

I guess I can take a little stroll.

Great!

I'll grab my jacket.

I'll grab a beer.

- If it isn't President Cartwright.
- Actually, it isn't.

Tonight I'm just
Spring Break Cartwright.

With patented dual beer grip.

- A gift.
- Thank you. I love gifts.

Enjoy. I've got to get going.
We're playing Thumper.

A drinking game?
With your gag reflex?

It's on my spring break list.

Blast from the past.

- You gonna pierce your belly button?
- Once was enough, thank you.

I'm just tackling
some unfinished business.

Like Thumper.

- You in?
- You might wanna find an easier target.

- Is anyone easier than you?
- How I would love to prove you wrong,

but I promised a walk on the beach.

Very romantic.

- Am I interrupting something?
- Not at all.

Enjoy your walk.

Maybe we can spend two hours.

- Think of how far we've come.
- I just want to dance it out.

- I need to see Ids.
- What? I'm a really good dancer.

Get ready.

Chad Stewart?
The musician?

Isn't that you?

We can say that guy stole your ID.
We'll totally back you up.

What are the odds?
I can't go in now.

We'll just go somewhere else.

It's OK.

I'm gonna go back to the motel.
I'll rest up for tomorrow night,

I'm gonna go bananas!

Ids, please.

Look at that line.

There's no way
we're waiting in this line.

So we are looking
for someone to buy drinks for.

Blueberry barnacle
with a vita-boost, please. Thank you.

I don't know what I was thinking.
That was at least 50 yards or something.

This shirt does not work.

- Sorry I missed you last night.
- Did you and the pledges get rowdy?

- You OK?
- Just a little asthma flair-up.

- If you need anything, let me know.
- Will do.

Healthy.

Cheers.

Are you in Myrtle?
Are you having fun?

Things are fine.
I'm just sitting on the beach.

Just relaxing
from a full night of partying.

Are you using your inhaler?

You're so using your inhaler.
Liar.

I'm using my inhaler.

I meant about you having fun.

I just kind of expected this to be
kinda the most amazing time of my life.

It's the New Year's Eve Syndrome.

It can't always live up to the hype.
I blame the media.

I've been up since 4am,

when the rest of the pledges got home
from that club that I couldn't get into

because of stupid Chad Stewart.

- Who's Chad Stewart?
- I have no clothes.

I have no travel guide.

And, for some reason,
my stupid asthma's back.

But the worst should be behind me, huh?

Are you wearing sun block?

Any spottings?

The Hot Ness Monster
is an elusive beast.

What do you think, Mandi.
Over there?

Prime real estate.

That'll do, thank you.

Tropical Storm Rebecca.

I slept in the bathtub because of her,
and now she's ruining our boy view.

Why can't she get over it?

Have you ever considered
she might be threatened by you?

Why? She's the senator's daughter
with the invisible jet.

Because you're Zeta Beta president.
You're beautiful.

Go on.

You're the ex-girlfriend
to a certain Cappie,

with whom you looked
pretty chummy last night.

In about five minutes,
we start the sand castle contest.

Winners get free drinks at Club Paradox!

- Whatever.
- Cappie and I are finally friends.

Truly. I'm over him.

Just like I'm over drama, remember?

Which means I'm not gonna let
this beached whale get me depressed.

- Let's go build a sand castle!
- I don't want to get my bikini wet.

- Display purposes.
- Entering a contest is on my list.

You seem to not be enjoying
the parade of possibility.

It's not really my kind of parade,
you know?

We could go to the gay bar around here.
They have cages.

That was a lot of information.

When Casey and I came down here

our sophomore year,
she wanted to go...

She heard they had cages
you could dance in. So we went.

Thanks for the offer,
but I'm not looking for a guy.

I miss the one I already have.

You remember when you're so excited

about someone you want to spend
every moment with them

to make up for the time
you're not together.

- I'm sorry.
- No, that's all right.

- You up for some volleyball?
- Absolutely.

What do you think?
It'll be fun.

- I don't know.
- Well, my friend thinks you're cute.

- You go. Have fun.
- Are you sure?

Go on.

You're sure you have to go?

Honestly, I totally forgot
that I have this project due

or my polymeric materials class.
It's due on the Monday we get back.

Damn the competive world
of polymer science.

Don't be too hard on yourself.
You can't win 'em all.

Travel safe, Spitter.
I got you a little gift for the road.

I'll see you next week.

No way.

- This is she.
- I'm calling from The Washington Post.

I don't need a subscription.

I'm in college.
I have no need for a newspaper.

Actually, this isn't
about a subscription.

A matter we'd like to talk to you
about if you have a couple moments.

Isn't this fun?

I haven't built a sand castle
since I was 12.

Back when my biggest burden
was having to play with Rusty.

I just wish there wasn't all this sand.

It lingers in places long
after you leave the beach.

I think the Hot Ness Monster
has breeched the surface.

Go get him!

I got it!

Sorry about that.

- Can I give you a hand?
- Actually, I could use a torso.

Lucky for you,
I'm well-versed in torsos.

You sure you have time? Rebecca's
not planning another walk on the beach?

I've got all the time in the world.

As long as we're done by five.
She booked us a banana boat ride.

A banana boat? You?

I'm man enough to ride
a giant yellow phallus.

Besides, it's her first spring break.

I vaguely remember you riding one
your freshman year.

It was the first thing
I crossed off my list.

I guess it's the circle of life.

It's really good to see you so...

... relaxed.
You're like your old self again.

But your mermaid is in dire need
of a breast augmentation.

I'll be right back.

Wait up.

- Where are you headed?
- Back to my room.

- Thought I'd take a nap.
- Want some company?

Go, have fun.

Are you OK?

Why wouldn't I be?

Excuse me.

Folks, just got off with dispatch.

We should have another bus
to take us back in about six hours.

Thanks very much.

- Where are you going?
- Gotta be a town up ahead.

I was gonna head over and find a car.

Can I go with you?

Suit yourself.

I think we need another round.

- I'll go get them.
- Let us contribute something.

What are you gonna contribute?

Thank you for your contribution.

You're welcome.

I'll get the drinks.

- What's up?
- This place is wild!

Look how packed it is.

I bet you've met a majority
of the female population.

You wanna come hang out with us?

You go have fun.

I need to rent a car, please.
Just one-way to Cyprus, Ohio.

I need to see your driver's license
and a major credit card.

When did you get your own credit card?

I'm sorry.
You gotta be at least 21 years of age

to rent an automobile
in the state of North Carolina.

I can die for my country
but I can't rent a car?

I've heard that one before.
I'm sorry, the law's the law.

I'll get it.

And this is faker than my hair color.

There's no way on God's green earth
that you're 24.

I am.

My name is Chad Stewart.

I live at 2343 Homer Terrace.

- What color are your eyes?
- What color?

That's what I thought.

- I'm gonna need to confiscate this.
- Take it. It's cursed or something.

When did you get a fake ID?

- We shouldn't have left the bus.
- This isn't my fault.

I didn't invite you to join me.

I didn't want to let you walk off
in the dark alone.

I feel so much safer
now that you're here.

You're on your own.
I'm gonna get my own ride home.

Just how I wanted it.

Your target is about six-foot-two,
brown hair, dreamy eyes.

And he's got a bottle opener
in his flip-flop.

- Could you be a little more specific?
- Check your phones.

Yesterday, I got close but was thwarted
by a rogue football game.

Luckily, I was close enough
to snap a cell phone pic.

I've texted it to each of you.

This is just a blob.

A hot blob, and we must find him.

But be warned, he's elusive.

So if you spot him, pin him down
and text me immediately.

- Are you sure...?
- There's no time!

Have you seen this blob?

Maybe it's hanging out
with Rebecca somewhere.

- Birds of a feather...
- I can't find her.

- She missed the banana boat.
- I wouldn't worry too much.

Rebecca's a big girl.

It's time for the event
you've all been waiting for.

Let's hear it for our spring break

wet T- shirt contestants!

I might be able to take a break
for a sec. Recharge.

We want boobs!

No, you don't!

What the hell are you doing?

I'm gettin'rowdy!

- Get down from there.
- Set those glorious mounds free!

Mounds? Really?

Fine. Almond Joys!

You need to get down.
Get down from there.

- You're making a scene.
- Big sis is pissed.

You gonna tell my parents?

News flash: what I do on spring break
is none of your business.

- It is when you're wearing ZBZ letters.
- Fine, I'll take them off.

Let me get my camera first.

You're seriously doing this?
This is really beneath you.

Beneath me?

- You know what's beneath me?
- Don't do this.

- Not right now, please.
- You're beneath me.

Whenever you're ready.

You can't even get
over your ex-girlfriend.

- Don't bring me into this.
- You've always been in this.

And you always will be.

Maybe you should get up there, too.

My only regret:
wasting the last four months on you.

Stop acting like a spoiled daddy's girl
who didn't get her way.

- It's a cliché.
- You know what?

We're done.
Consider this our spring breakup.

Don't go!

You chased the boobs away!

Are you OK?

- Man, where have you been?
- What? I made some new friends.

Friends? As in plural?

You guys, Chambers is on a roll!

All right, settle down.
What's going on?

You guys going to the condo?

What are you, my grandpa?
We're going to Paradox.

There's no way
I'm going back to that club tonight.

- Wanna raid the vending machine?
- Sounds so good. Let's go.

I'm sorry you had to drive all this way.

You can take us
to the nearest bus station if you want.

I'll drive you guys back to Cyprus.
No big deal.

What about the hunting trip
with your parents?

My mom's been hitting the firing range

pretty hard, has developed quite an ego.

Do you wanna tell
your side of the story first?

Not really. We've got four more hours
to go, It's been a long day.

- Let's get back to school.
- All right.

Anybody hungry?
I got some turkey jerky in the trunk.

I'm starving.

Did you kill it?

Does it matter?

You wanna jump out
and find that jerky bag?

Trunk food.

I don't see anything back here.

It's back there.

Would you go help him?

There's really nothing back here.

I'm not letting either one of you jokers
back in until you work out your issues.

You feeling better?

Feels like my brain is taking
clogging lessons.

I was worried about you.
You got hit hard.

And then the drunk guy punched me.

- Do you have any idea why she...?
- Can we not talk about Rebecca?

Please It was awkward
enough before all this.

You know what, you're right.

We're on spring break!

We get to spend an entire week
on the beach with our best friends.

- There's only one more of these...
- One more? Speak for yourself.

And they kick us out into
the harsh reality of 40-hour work weeks.

Forty hours? Wake up,
Mary Tyler Moore. Try 80.

In cubicles.
With two weeks vacation.

By the way,
did I tell you I'm switching my major?

Anatomy was fun
but less hands-on than I expected.

I'm sorry, Cap.

About what?
The fact that I don't have a "plan"?

About the fact that I judged you for it.

I was wrong.

- What has gotten into you?
- What do you mean?

You're so nice and carefree
and beach-babe beautiful.

I feel like I'm in a tampon commercial.

That's because in four days
I have to go back to school

figure out what I wanna do
with the rest of my life.

What about that ten-year plan?

Let's just say I copied off
of someone's else's paper.

And now I don't know
what I'll be doing in ten minutes.

I'm staring out into the...

vast empty ocean

that is my future.

Feels good, doesn't it?

It does.

And it feels...

... terrifying.

Please unlock the doors.

No can do, buddy.
Not until you two make amends.

Look either turn off the music
or leave us out here to die.

The scary thing is I actually knew
the words to that song.

I just wished you would have at least
called after the prank war thing.

Do you want to know why I didn't?
Because I was mad.

You made me feel like the bad guy

because I chose to stay with OC
and the friends I have there.

Like Evan Chambers?

When I was outed
and was gonna quit the fraternity,

Evan asked me to trust him and I did.

- He hasn't let me down yet.
- Well, what about me?

I was the first person
that you came out to, remember?

Doesn't that count?

It does, but you're demonizing
a fraternity full of people I like...

It's hard to have a rational
point-of-view of people

when they're duct-taping you
to the side of a building.

What about your fraternity?

The Kts are such good guys because
they're laid back and aren't ambitious?

When did ambition become
such a terrible attribute?

I think in the eighties.

You know, maybe they're right.

Maybe you just can't have friends
who are in rival houses.

This is the officially the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.

If your stupid houses are so important,

why are both of you here now
instead of down at Sinner's Beach?

You've gotta stop putting your houses
before everything else in your life.

Before your schoolwork,
before your roommate

and before each other.

Think you can do that?

We can agree we were both wrong.

I'd say there was plenty of fault
on both sides.

I'm sorry.

Sunburn.

The Three Musketeers are back!

Take me home!

I'm Betsy!

You sure are.
Loud and proud.

I'm so glad that we're sisters!

We really need to get you a boyfriend
so he can manage these moments.

You're so soft!

He's here. I smell him.

No, that might have been my chili dog.

I'm gonna come right back here
and be disgusted by that comment.

But right now I need to run
find someone.

So here, meet my friend,
Mr. Lifeguard Stand.

I liked you on Baywatch.

Here we are.
Back at the hotel.

- You think you might wanna...?
- I don't think that's a good idea.

You've suffered head trauma. Besides,

there are ten people
sleeping in my room.

I was going to say get some breakfast.

That sounds nice.

Let me go get my purse.

Ohio senator Ken Logan, known for
his strong stance on family values,

has been implicated in a sweep
of a high-end prostitution ring.

As the nation reacts to the scandal,
we'll have all the latest...

Go.

She needs you.

About tonight...

It was nothing.

"Kissing a boy on the beach"
was 11 on my list.

Thanks for the help.

I'm starting to feel human again.

Processed food will do that
for some reason.

I kinda feel like you've been blowing me
off the past couple of days.

Not at all.
You had a lot of things you need to...

... do this weekend.

You pushed me to be

more assertive,
and go after what I want.

Sorry things didn't work out
with you and Casey...

I'm not.

I'm...

... not looking to be another notch

in the Myrtle Beach belt.

Warm body rule applies even here.

I've had plenty of warm bodies.

Million-dollar question:

Are you doing this because...

... you want to be with me

or because you wanna get back at Casey?

Both.

Million-dollar question:

Are you going to do this
because you want to be with me

or because you want to be
with Evan Chambers?

Both.

It doesn't matter now.

I heard about your dad.

They didn't even call me.

I found out from a reporter.

What a night.

You can say that again.

Care to explain the flip flop?

It's proof
that the Hot Ness Monster does exist.

And it gives me hope
that I might see him again.

He made quite an impression.

Do you think it's possible
to meet someone

and just feel they're your soulmate?

But I have to believe
that we have many soulmates.

If not, the world has

a twisted sense of humor, right?

What happened tonight?

I was on a search mission
for your monster when I ran into...

You know what, no.
I'm not gonna tell this story.

You've heard it a million times anyway.

- But it sounds important.
- What's important is...

I'm watching a beautiful sunrise

with my best friend.

No matter what,
we'll remember this moment forever.

You know what would make it
even more memorable?

If we were naked.

Didn't see that coming.

It's the only thing left on my spring
break list. Skinny dipping.

Wanna?

- Please.
- Let's do it.

Dude, naked chicks!

You thinking what I'm thinking?