Greek (2007–2011): Season 2, Episode 10 - Hell Week - full transcript

Previously on Greek:

I'm saying I don't want
to throw down with you.

- Which means?
- Don't remember?

Maybe I hit you too hard
with the pledge paddle.

You hit me from
behind and ambushed me.

That's pretty pathetic.

I'm staring out
into the vast, empty ocean

that is my future.

- Feels good, doesn't it?
- It does. And it feels, terrifying.

I'm so happy when I'm around you.

And I'm happy when
I'm around you, too.



Casey, what do you know about Casey?

We're dating.

Good seeing you.

What a douche.

Our new ZBZ president is Ashleigh.

What?

Calvin Owens!

Hell Week, buddy! Let's go!

Awkward.

Welcome to Hell Week.
Your ass is mine.

Get him outta here!

Don't worry about
these love handles.

- What love handles?
- Pledge frolicking session in five,

those puppies
will melt right off, big guy.



Remember, you may leave for class,

but you go straight there and back.

No stopping for eating

or sleeping or socializing.

Your souls

belong to us.

Show me angry, pledges.

Come on, angry!

Yeah. That's it.
That's it. Work it.

Now you're sad. You're sad.

I'm lost in the forest.

Now, uh... now you're a cobra!

Dude, they painted
my pepperonis blue.

It's permanent ink!

We've come this far,
only a few more days,

we're as good as initiated.

Initiated?

Sure, Rusty. You pledges have
endured many a Hell Week trial.

Like, Bobbing for Hairballs,

the Rhinoceros Walk,

and even that rousing game
of Hide the Pickle...

we found eventually.

I had a sweet hiding spot.
Back in line, sweetie!

But what you don't know, Rusty...

- Why do you keep calling him "Rusty"?
- Because, Keith,

"Spitter" is his KT name.

And,

he has no guarantee

of becoming

a Kappa Tau. Oh, no.

None of you do.

Every Hell Week at least one pledge
is found wanting and expelled.

You'd really kick one of us out?

Or more.

The brothers will use
a final round of trials

to determine which pledges
will become initiated,

And which ones will go home...

for good.

Just like Dancing With the Stars,

except there's no dancing
and there's no stars.

Remember, it's three strikes
and you're out.

Just like baseball,

except there's no bases and
there's really no balls.

Now frolic!
Come on, pledges, frolic!

Let's see it. Like nymphs,
like nymphs, come on.

You're in the woods,
you're frolicking in the woods.

You're having a car wash.
Suds are being thrown everywhere.

We've been at this
for three days and

still some of you maggots
can't do 50 push ups?

Come on, let's go.

This sucks.
I can't do any more.

Come on. It could be worse.

We got another one.

God,

that stinks.

- There goes Owens.
- Next victim.

No, no. Wait.

I got a special punishment
for Calvin.

He's got to clean
O'Toole's bathroom sink.

But he manscapes in there!

I don't want to hear it.
Let's go.

This does not look
like O'Toole's bathroom.

This, Pledge Owens
is our Honor Room.

And you're just here to clean it.

That's it? I don't have to...

use my toothbrush or anything?

Nope. I mean,
consider yourself spared.

Can you do that?

Calvin, I can do whatever
I want, I'm the president.

Big Bro to the rescue.

Where to start?

No way.

Quit whining, man, you're a pledge!

Dude, eat it!

Eat the chocolate poo!

I gotta be openly mean to you,

to offset the homoeroticism
of so many of our rituals.

So eat it!

Damn! That was nasty, bra!

But, dude, I'm ready
to get initiated.

That was so real.

Yeah, Beth.

Hey, got a sec?

I wanted to talk to you
about the gift exchange...

Casey, your boyfriend
is ruining Inspiration Week.

One sec, Becks.

Hurry or you'll miss Sister Circle.

- He just walked right in.
- It was open.

I'm sorry.

Come on, don't worry about it.

- Sorry, I didn't...
- It's OK...

Thanks for saving me from
all the sister bonding, I need a break.

Like a summer of fun break.

Since I'm no longer ZBZ president,

I'm no longer obligated
to prep for next year's rush.

It's just you and me.

Barbequing, sipping mojitos...

- I got accepted to grad school.
- I know, at CRU.

Which I was excited about
the first time you told me.

No. A different school...

In California.

California, Ohio?

No, uh, California, California.

Cal-Tech. I applied
before we even met.

And I hadn't heard anything,
so I just figured, I assumed...

So, Cal-Tech.

Which means after
our summer of fun...

We'd only be two thousand, two hundred
and twenty-nine point three miles...

away from each other.

Greek 2x10
Hell Week

Synchro : 7844, Arrow, Coke.

OK, look, here we go.

We could book a red eye leaving
for Kona right after your last final.

Evan, we can't.

There's so much to do. We have all those
appointments booked with the realtors.

Besides, we're going to meet your family
in the Hamptons Memorial Day weekend.

Yeah, well I thought we could
do something just the two of us.

Do you not wanna see your parents?

No, fine, whatever. I'll go.

Good.

Because for a minute there
I thought it was about the realtors.

- I know it's a big commitment.
- No, that,

I am actually excited about.

Me, too.

- I'll see you later?
- Yeah.

Big Sis, ready for
Sorority Massacre Movie Night?

Yay, done naked girls.
One sec, Becks.

The pledges want more rootbeer floats.
We're out of rootbeer. Help me out?

This isn't part of your duties,

Frannie's Pledge Educator,
she's in charge of I-week.

I haven't seen her since yesterday.

Two weeks ago
she was killing for the Presidency,

now she's skipping Movie Night.

- I'll get some more rootbeer.
- Thank you.

Oh, and let's walk on the wild side.

Get regular, not diet.

Um, can I ask you a question first

Is it about the Big-Little
gift exchange?

It's about you and Travis.

I wanted to know what it was like
being in a long distance relationship.

Well, it sucked.

I basically wasted two years of college
dating a total jerk.

We were never around each other
long enough to realize it.

Then there's the travel costs,
the phone bills,

the trying to have phone sex
when you get spotty reception.

The pressure to make
the most of your visits,

not to mention
the fear of him cheating on you.

OK, I get it.

Max is leaving for Cal-Tech
in three months,

and he wanted to know
if we're still staying together.

But, it'll be great for you guys.

I'm... I'm sure Max
has good cell phone service.

How am I supposed to make
this kind of commitment,

when we've only dated
for a month and a half?

Well, why do you have to decide now?

Just enjoy the next three months
and whatever happens, happens.

Get down.
They might see us.

I am going to get dung out.
Come on,

they love you over there,
you're the president's Little Brother.

- Sure you get special treatment.
- From Cappie?

He blindfolded me and made me
reach into the upstairs toilet.

- OK, that's enough.
- No, it was just peanut butter.

- That's actually kinda funny.
- No, he made me eat it.

And it's disgusting again.

I'm sure Evan enjoys
inflicting pain on you guys.

Not me. If anything,
Evan's intentionally going easy on me.

How do your pledge brothers
feel about that?

I don't think they know.

I mean, I've been cleaning
the Honor Room instead.

Which reminds me.
Guess what I found?

- What?
- Your old Omega Chi pledge paddle.

The one I hit Evan with?

I'd think he would've
torched that by now.

It's definitely yours. There's
a nose-shaped dent in it.

That was a pretty big swing.

Thanks, man. You almost
made me forget about Hell Week.

You wouldn't know hell if it stuck you
in the bottom with a pitchfork.

Here, no peanut butter,
just like you asked.

Thanks.

Don't forget.
I'm leaving tomorrow at 3:00.

I'll be there. Stop worrying.

- Wait, finals aren't until next week.
- I already took them.

I'm taking off early to Rockdale,
Alabama 4- H circuit with Darwin Lied.

We're opening up for Intelligent-D.

- It's gonna be off the hook.
- Rock on.

All right, I'm out.

Hopefully the next time you see me,

I'll be a Kappa Tau brother
and not a wash out.

Stop worrying, just embrace the
humiliation and you'll be fine.

How would you know?

Listen, just don't let
them tie a brick to your goat-whacker.

Why? You're laughing.

Everybody laughs
when their feet get tickled.

It's a reflex,
as you know, science dork.

Stop! Oh, stop!

We're gonna be fine.

You mean you're OK
with a long distance relationship?

But, I am ready to commit to you

an amazing summer with you.

And figuring it out from there.

Summer for now.

That'll be fun.

How much fun?

I don't know.

Surprise!

Oh, God.

So cute.

I can do this.

I got the eye of the tiger
and I'm ready to fight.

Let the Trial by Fish begin.

Feisty little guy.

Be careful...

I accidentally scooped you
three fish, Rusty.

But, we have faith in you.

Now pledges,
take your cups and first of all...

Done.

What do you mean "done"?

Finished.

That was quick.

It's empty!

- Where the hell are they?!
- In my belly.

What the hell were you thinking?!

You're supposed to
take care of the fish, not eat them!

Why'd yougive us bibs?

This is a baby fish papoose pouch!

He murdered the poor little fishies.

That's officially strike one,
Sushi Boy.

No! Cap! Cap, n... no!

I was only doing what you
wanted me to do. Embracing humiliation.

I can't protect you on this one.

You're going to have to pass
Judgment Day with flying colors.

Or else!

Oh, my God!

Did someone strangle a chipmunk?

Big-Little gifts are so cheesy.

Yay, can I please
get a sterling silver ZBZ cat

to put on my shelf
of stuff I'll throw away in a month?

I know, right?

Can I please get
a ZBZ patchwork quilt?

I'm redecorating my cabin
up at Lake Tacky-Crap.

Brenda, this is for you.

- Oh, my God! I love it! I love you!
- I love you, too.

Isn't Ivy the sweetest?

I got

a blender!

For protein shakes.

But if that's true, why did she include
this little bag of margarita salt?

It's perfect for the summer.

Fun summer.

So you got any crazy parties
coming up with your high school friends?

I do, however, have front
row seats to my parents' divorce.

I'll take pictures.

But I like your blender.

Did you get
a Big Sis gift for Casey?

Yes. I decided I won't kill her

for kissing Cappie
over Spring Break.

Well, she got you a Little Sis gift.

Really?

She did?

I mean, not that I care.

No matter what's
gone on between you two,

Casey really does
believe in sisterhood.

It's a really nice gift, too.

Be seated.

Look only at the candle

or else you fail Judgment Day.

So, this is heaven.

This is heaven's lobby.

If this were real heaven,
there'd be bi-curious Playmates

making out in a corner somewhere.

Voice of an angel, you.

Thank you.

Tell the jury,

why do you think
you belong in Kappa Tau?

As you know, I struck down
Evan Chambers with a pledge paddle.

I defeated the Omega Chis
at Beer Pong.

I made it rain beer

with Vesuvius,

and I even got the upstairs toilet
to flush after Chili Night,

with little to no splatter.

Guilty!

- Of what?
- Of everything! You beat Calvin

at Beer Pong not their entire house.

And you know Calvin's hand
cramps easily.

And made Vesuvius rain beer?

Another minute and that Remington
Hertzog Atmospheric Destabilizer

would have evaporated our blood
and rained it on our mummified corpses.

Wikipedia.

In fact, weren't you
initially thinking

about being an Omega Chi pledge?

You went
there and ignored our Bid Night.

We were your second choice,
remember?

- But I ended up here!
- Eyes on the candle!

Kappa Tau is where I belong.
I did all this stuff all year

and it's not good enough?
- "A" for effort,

but no, sorry.

I'm afraid this is strike two.
Last chance,

go forth in the world

and find a way to demonstrate
to us that you are a KT.

How?

The true Kappa Tau
wouldn't have to ask that.

And you gotta do it
before Initiation Night,

or don't bother showing up.

Tick-tock, Rusty.
Tickety-tock.

And remember, if anyone asks,
this is not hazing.

You are simply
pruning the rose bushes...

with your hands,
with no gloves, by choice.

I can't. I need a break.

You will break when
I tell you to break, Trip.

Evan, he looks broken, man.

Well, then it's
your job to revive him.

Come on, Owens, cool off.
I'm gonna go get us some snacks.

How you doing there, Owens?
That fan looks heavy.

Look, man, I didn't make
the pledge assignments, what can I do?

But you're Evan's pet Little Bro,
talk to him, he's going too far.

Come on, man,
we're almost there, OK?

You're almost there.

He's giving you all the easy jobs.

The rest of us are dying here.

OK, boys, who's up
for mayonnaise pot stickers?

Last load.

Nine months of temptation, God,
and I proved myself.

And I have to prove to the Actives
why I'm a true Kappa Tau.

Well...

you could always show them a biopsy
of your decayed liver.

Come on, Russ, you'll always
be my little frat boy.

Thanks, Dale.

Well, you're off.

Yeah, yeah. Till the fall.

Sophomore year, baby.

- Can't wait.
- I can't wait for this year to be over.

I burned this for you.

Darwin Lied cut a new track.
Carpool to Salvation.

I'll save you a seat.

You never have a moment of doubt
that you're right,

or that you are right
where you belong, do you?

I sometimes wish
I had what you have.

I just have faith.

I mean, that cross is just two sticks
tied together without that.

You know, and I...

know in my heart that the Big Guy
has a plan for all of us.

And I happen to know a little bit
about his plans for you, too.

Something that includes
Kappa Tau, I hope.

No. But we are
gonna be roommates again.

He told me.

Come here.

I applied to bartend here
over the summer.

I haven't heard back.
Which is maybe OK,

since I plan to spend
the summer maximizing my time with...

Max. And then, from there,

you'll re-evaluate the
relationship's staying power.

Long and prosperous, no doubt.

Isn't that the manager?
Why don't you go ask him about the job?

Can't just go up and ask him.
That's bad form.

I'll call him tomorrow.

While you're out you should
buy a gift for Rebec...

Unknown number.

Oh, maybe it's the manager.

Hello?

Of course I'm interested.
Totally.

Yes, I'll call you
tomorrow. Thank you.

I just got a job.

No you didn't.
I just talked to the manager.

They're going with someone else.
You have no bartending experience.

Not here.

In Washington.

There's a Dobler's in Washington?

Remember Paula Baker?

From the convention, former ZBZ
and current US Congresswoman?

She just offered me
a summer internship in DC.

No way! When did you even apply?

I didn't. She just
remembered me from the convention.

She had a last minute opening,

she thought of me
and she tracked down my number.

Well, this is awesome!
Right?

I'd have to be in DC in two weeks.

I screwed, I mean, I seriously
don't know what to do.

I want the internship in DC,
it's the career direction

I've been waiting for,
but I finally found

some incredible guy
who I might lose.

It's so what happened
with Jason going to Paris, remember?

I know, right.
So how did you decide, L.C.?

I don't know.
I guess I just followed my heart, Case.

Which I guess was
a mistake or whatever.

Because you and Jason broke up?

But I wouldn't have known
he was the wrong choice

unless I had spent
the summer with him in Malibu.

- Which you saw in season two.
- True.

Also, I could have spent
my whole summer in France

wondering if I had
left behind my one true love.

But he wasn't?

God, no.
I totally should have gone to France!

But what if Max
is more my future than Washington?

What if I suck there?

But, I mean,
it's allabout the "what if?"

Either way,
you're always gonna wonder...

what if?

- That's so deep.
- I know, right?

- Ash, what're you doing here?
- It's fricking L.C.!

I love your hair. How do you get it
so shiny and straight?

You never ask me that.
I always go with a ceramic iron.

Ah, genius.

So, tell me, L.C.,

what would you do?

Casey, the answer's crystal clear.

- It's me, it's me.
- What are you doing here?

- I need your help.
- Good God, what is that smell?

- Desperation?
- No...

You smell like dog poo.

And your breath,
it's like the pond at Grandpa's house.

How did Cappie prove he was a KT
during Hell Week?

- I need to know.
- He didn't.

If I recall correctly,
I think that assignment

was just for dorky pledges
who were gonna get dung out.

- I'm so tired...
- Not the comforter.

And freaked out.

I can't even remember why I wanted
to join KT in the first place.

Because you were
too good for Omega Chi.

Not at first, I wasn't.

Maybe that's why
I'm in so much trouble.

I need to rid myself
of any last vestiges of Omega Chi.

What are you talking about?

- I knew I could count on you.
- Don't even!

Get off the...

- Don't do anything stupid.
- I'm not.

I'm doing something Kappa Tau.

For you. Your Big Sis present.

Rebecca, that's like,
the sweetest thing ever.

I know.

I love it. Thanks.

Becks, listen,

things have been so crazy with Max

- that I forgot to...
- Bring this down.

You left it upstairs on the dresser.

Exactly what I was about to say.

What is it?

Something awesome.

Like what?

Don't wanna spoil the surprise.

I don't mind.

Just open it, K?

Thanks.

You up for some competition?

- You know I rock at pool.
- I know. I learned the hard way.

Subtle.

I just came here to figure out
what to do about a personal matter.

On my own.

I didn't expect that you'd be here.

Handicap?

For who? You?

Keep dreaming. Rack 'em.

I'll break.

So, a personal problem, huh?

Let me guess.

Max...

is having an emotional affair with his
World of Warcraft teammate, right?

He's going to grad school

in the fall

in California.

California, Ohio?

We were going to spend
the summer together

here and figure out
what to do about the fall.

But I just got offered
a summer internship in DC,

I'd have to leave in two weeks.

Congrats, Case.

I haven't committed yet.

I mean, I don't want to leave Max,

but this is

a US Congresswoman
we're talking about here.

- Paula Baker.
- Paula Baker?

Maryland, Fifth District.

Soft on energy,
but a staunch protector

of the Loggerhead sea turtle.
I like that.

So, Max

or a possible career.

Long distance. That's a...

big commitment for a guy
who just started dating.

Good shot.

That's it?

Great shot? I don't know
what you want me to say.

As my friend,

what do you think I should do?

You said it yourself.
Max and I just started dating.

What if I pass on this awesome
opportunity in DC...

and he's not the one?

Fine,

as your friend, Case, I...

think you should...

bank the nine ball.
Go for the side pocket.

And?

And...

I think you should...

take the internship instead of Max.

Really?

So you're suggesting
I break up with Max?

I'm saying that you shouldn't discount
the fact that you spent

the past year trying to find something
to build a future on and...

now you may have found it.

As for finding the one,
I think if it's...

meant to be eventually, it will be.

Thanks for the advice, Cap.

Eight ball, corner pocket.

How's your BFF taking
doing it national?

That's in the past.

And, I'm here to discuss the future.

- Do I hear ticking?
- Just open it.

Lovely.

What's the catch?

Just hear me out.

That's beautiful, Frannie.

Who knew you could give
as well as you take?

This is just my final,
end of the year gesture,

as Pledge Educator.

At least Frannie picked out
her own gift.

- I wanted to...
- Later.

You were saying?

I just noticed that you made the pledges
sleep in the backyard last night,

in the mud.

We left you inside for that one,
didn't we?

Don't you think you're being
a little hard on them

and easy on me?

Look,

you're my Little Brother,
you're a Legacy,

you're entitled to special treatment,
so just enjoy it.

As much as you are?

Ever since you signed up for that trust,
you seem to just wanna

show off what it means
to be Evan Chambers.

That's crap.

Maybe so, but you know,
those are my pledge brothers, so...

if you're gonna haze them that way,
you gotta haze me the same.

- Fair is fair.
- You serious?

I am.

You're right. It's not fair.

So grab the pledge manual
and follow me.

- Where we going?
- No questions. Move it, pledge.

I have to leave in two weeks.

I guess we'll be starting the long
distance thing a lot sooner then, huh?

You wanna break up.

I want to be in two places at once.

You're science-y.

Have they made that possible yet?

Funny isn't...

I'm sorry.

What if I...
What if I come to DC with you?

Then we'd still have to say good bye
at the end of summer.

No chance you'd move to California?

I can't keep making decisions
based on the guys in my life.

I need to stay here for me.
I need to take this internship for me.

Guess that sounds kinda selfish.

I'm the one leaving.

And you have to.

It's what's best for you.

It's not what's best for us, though.

I'd better go.

No regrets?

No regrets.

Checkmate.

All right, let's get
those blindfolds on.

- This isn't the Kappa Tau house.
- Guys!

Come on, hurry up!

What is that?

- Who wants more cookies?
- I do!

Where's Rusty? I hope
he's not kidnapping a Tri Pi for us.

We got in a lot of trouble
for that last time.

Yeah, we did.

We can't wait any longer.
Initiation has to be tonight.

When it comes to initiation, even I
must abide by the rules. Except for one.

- Naked beneath the robe?
- You, too?

I called Rusty's dorm
like ten times. No answer.

Hark!

I recognize that girlish
scream anywhere. Spitter!

Come on, let's go!

Move! Hurry up!

We're on our way, Spitter!

Take off your blindfolds!
Take 'em off! Take 'em off!

- Should we do it?
- It's a trick.

- No one take 'em off.
- He sounds serious.

You know what? I'm just gonna...
I'm gonna double check here.

Wait a minute. You forgot this.

- Come on.
- Get him outta here.

This handshake
symbolizes our sacred bond.

Brotherhood, above all.

And finally,

a Chapter President must choose
one pledge during initiation

to carry the final burden
for his pledge class,

for at least one hour.

Calvin Owens has carried
the burden for...

over three hours.

You can lower the book now, Cal.
You're a brother.

Congratulations, brothers!

All right.

Now listen up. Report to the backyard,
so we can paddle our new initiates.

I'd pick sleeping in mud
over holding that book any time.

It was amazing.

I just can't keep my arms down.

- Brother Owens.
- Brother Chambers.

Nice hazing tactic.

- Be careful what you wish for, right?
- I may have been a little harsh

with the show off comment.

You said what you need
to say to get what you wanted.

And I respect that.

You and I are not so different.
Here, let me help you with that.

What happened to you guys anyway?
Your lip looks pretty bad.

I guess Rusty and I are even.

What, did you hit him
with a paddle or something?

I was protecting the house.

From Rusty?

Look, he started this
and I ended it.

Like I said, he and I are even.

Why would you go to the Omega Chi house
during Hell Week and incite a brawl?

I guess I thought it was the only way
to prove that I was a Kappa Tau.

Not that trying to get that paddle back
was the coolest thing

in the world, but you could have just
bought us beer like your pledge bros.

- You called me "Spitter".
- Wouldn't know you by any other name.

So no more overcompensating.

What about all those pledges
that didn't get in?

In the last 50 years
there was only one guy

who ever left after pledging,
and he did it voluntarily.

So this whole time you and the Actives
were screwing with us.

You should not have locked us
out of the house last month.

That's so messed up.

Why you won't think that way next year
when you're doing it to the new pledges.

Come with me.

Who wants to get initiated?

I will now read
from the Kappa Tau-ra.

- Shalom.
- Shalom.

I love that part.

And the crossed
identical arrows symbolize

that while we may cross each other,

we are all the same
under this hallowed roof.

Blow the arrows.

Blow the arrows.

Rise.

Now,

you are a man.

L'Chaim!

What is this music?

Bernie went to Israel last summer
and insisted we use his mixed CD.

Just go with it.

Holy crap!

Aren't you supposed to be
at ZBZ's initiation?

On my way. But I wanted
to say congrats, first.

- Thanks.
- What happened to your...

Hell Week gets
crazier every year, huh?

Yeah. It was worth it.

I'm a brother now.

And I can attest from personal
experience, you are a great one.

- Geez.
- What?

Everyone gets a little mushy
by the end of I-Week.

I'll have total deniability
by Monday.

- Go celebrate.
- Thanks, Case.

Remember, you have three more years.
Pace yourself.

How is your dilemma?

I'm going to Washington.

You are?

So...

good luck.

Thanks.

Hi, Dr. Lewiston?

Yes, this is Max Tyler from CRU.

Pledges of Zeta Beta Zeta.

As you begin your ascent to sisterhood
on the wings of Zetas past,

know that those sisters
that came before us

smile down upon you
from Chapter eternal.

Before we replace your pledge pins
with the holy badges

of an initiate...

We're starting initiation.

Then I'm just in time.

For you, Ash.

- Your Active pin?
- I'm moving out of the house.

You don't have to deactivate
the sorority just to move out.

I do if I'm moving
into another sority house.

What are you doing?
You can't join another sorority.

- Pan-Hellenic doesn't allow that.
- I'm starting my own sorority.

In fact, I rented the house today.

You rented a whole house?

That's a lot of space
for you and your ego.

That's not gonna be a problem.

Let's go, girls.

Bye, Casey. Bye, Ashleigh.

- Bye, you guys.
- No, don't go.

As your president,
I command you to stop!

Brenda, you're leaving ZBZ?

For what? To pledge all over again?

Who says I'm pledging? And yes.

Shall we?