Greek (2007–2011): Season 1, Episode 8 - Separation Anxiety - full transcript

Previously on Greek:

I've been through a lot the past year.
And sometimes... it's not enough.

Evan, are you about to?

Your letters.

- Casey got lavaliered by Evan.
- That was a secret.

I thought
this was just a fling.

I realized that I really like you.

And I don't know what that means.
I would like to find out.

Travis isn't exactly quality glue.
You need to dump him.

I thought everyone liked Travis.

It doesn't matter
what your sisters want or what I think.



No, you love who you want to love.

If that's a problem, you just...
you keep your private life private.

Friends
tell each other the truth.

What you did to me sucks.

Sometimes
you outgrow the people you love.

Uh... I saw that first.

Oh, look. Going after something else
that's mine. Must be Monday.

It's tough to avoid when you think
everything's yours, isn't it?

Speaking of yours,
is that Jen K. Wearing your skirt?

Now, to prepare you.

I was talking to this girl
in my Spanish class.

She says she knows this guy who
worked on Laguna Beach second season.

And he says that it's not really real,

which makes a little bit of sense.



Reality just isn't that good.

- What do you think?
- Whatever.

Ash, I know breaking up sucks.

You and Travis had a long history,

but it'll help if you just
get your mind off things.

- Forget about him.
- I'm fine.

So National just called
asking about our philanthropy hours,

which we have very few of, thanks
to ex-sisterlphilanthropy chair, Libby.

Yeah. The last thing we need
is National on our backs.

The good news is,
Libby did set something up

with an after-school program
called the Bible Bunch.

Bad news, she didn't follow through.
We need to set something up.

No worries.
The dynamic duo are on the case.

Thank you.

I can't help.

You can do this. It's just what
you need to get over Travis.

You handle wardrobe. Think charitable,
nonprofit. I'll call Bible Bunch...

No, really, I can't.

I have a paper to write, a project.

I'm also growing my bangs,
which requires extra sleep.

But I need you.
And it'll take your mind off things.

Come on, we're Mary-Kate and Ashley.

Sorry. I just have a lot
going on right now.

Uh-oh. Looks like
Mary-Kate lost her Ashley.

Oh, basic scuba. That'd be fun.

Or not.

- It's your elective.
- It could be ours.

Think we should take a class together?

Why didn't I think of that?

You're such a smart guy.
I bet you're full of good ideas.

My boyfriend from high school
never thought of anything like that.

Your high school boyfriend?

Grady, he never initiated,
especially in the romance department.

Like what?

Like our first date, our first kiss.

Ignore it. You were saying.

I was the one who was always
pushing things forward.

And then, finally, I broke up with him.

Right. Not like ours where we held
hands, we kissed, the first night.

Exactly.

It's funny because,
before you mentioned it,

I was thinking we should
take a class together.

Who's SkynyrdAngel1501?

Dale, I'm right here.

I promised I'd leave you guys alone
until ten. Look, 10:20.

I do not appreciate you
taking advantage of my good nature.

My interpretation was that
you'd leave the room.

There's two names
on that door. Read them.

It's fine. I actually have
to meet somebody downstairs.

- Walk me to class in the morning?
- I was gonna suggest that.

Yes, I was going to suggest that.
Stop IMing me.

- You're cleaning?
- The house is a mess.

Have you seen the surface buildup?
There's mold growing on mold.

It never bothered you before.

Oh, the keg explosion of '06.
Goodbye, old friend.

I actually came to get your advice
on something.

I think I'm ready
to use the L-word with Jen.

That's a bold move. What makes you think
she's a lesbian? Is that a deal-breaker?

Not that L-word.
I want to tell her I love her.

Look, if you need to say,
"I love you," call your mom.

All right. Listen, young Padawan,

love was invented by women

to rob men of their reason
for living and their manhood.

Love is a vicious trap.

It's an E-ticket ride
straight to the depths of hell.

It can't be that bad.

Yeah, until it's over and you're
curled up with a pint of ice cream,

watching Never Been Kissed
and writing in your journal.

So just kick back, relax.

Don't ruin everything by making it
all serious and mushy.

You're wrong.
I need to make a move.

A bold move. Standing still
is the worst thing I can do.

You're... defying the master?

Be careful, Spitter. Remember
what happened to Anakin?

Cap, I'm ready.

You've only been
dating her for three weeks.

When you know, you know.

I'm gonna tell her, and my big bro's
gonna be happy for me.

Well, I'm worried for you.
Does that count?

Um, I'm looking for the director
of the after-school program?

That'd be me.

Hi. Casey Cartwright, Zeta Beta.
I'm here about volunteering.

Rusty's sister?
I'm his roommate, Dale Kettlewell.

You're the Confederate flag guy.

Thank you.

Boy, you don't look
anything like your brother.

Thank you.

I, uh, I gave up on you guys
after I never heard from Libby.

Let me assure you,
that is not the Zeta Beta way.

I chalked it up to the unreliability
of organizations whose sole purpose

seems to be personal pleasure,
bodily self-destruction

and the relinquishment of all virtue.

So, what's a nice girl like you
doing in a place like that?

Oh, our sorority
is all about philanthropy.

How can we help you all? Lmmediately?

Well, let's see, uh, the basketball
court needs repainting,

the gym floor needs waxing.

You could hose bird feces
off the building exterior

with a pressure washer.
It's more fun than it sounds.

So many to choose from.

This is a great room.
It'd be perfect for a party.

Or... I know, a show. A show.

For the kids. We have the perfect thing.
It's called Leading a Good Life.

A catchy title. It sounds positive.

Oh, it is.

It's an edu-taining musical

that covers everything
from dental hygiene to menopause.

These kids could use
some old-fashioned values.

It would be perfect.

I don't know. The Bible Bunch kids
are serious at-risk youths.

I mean, some of them are gang members,
some are even atheists.

All right, yeah, let's give it a shot.

Yes.

Amen.

- It was nice to meet you.
- Yeah. You too.

Waiting for Godot?
More like waiting to go home.

- I didn't think it was that bad.
- What, you liked it?

No, I thought it was kind of slow
and a little pretentious,

but at least we
tried something new.

Why can't we do something old
that we know is fun?

Like bowling? Again?

You can only enjoy it so many
times before you start to understand

why it's not a real sport.

OK, this is dumb.

Want to grab some ice cream?

Actually, I'm pretty beat.

You know, and I got that chem lab
in the morning, so...

Sure. Right. Wouldn't be bad
to get a decent night's sleep.

Yeah.

I'll see you later.

Ash,
you should have been there.

The outfit worked like a charm,
and he loves Leading a Good Life.

Great.

You think Frannie'll
be Marie-Antoinette again?

Uh-huh.

I need to find a replacement
for the Fuzzy Bunny. Any ideas?

- Mm-hmm.
- Are you listening to me?

Yep. Fuzzy Bunny. 'Night.

If you're not gonna help with the show,
the least you can do

is talk to me about it.
Is that too much to ask?

I had a hard day too, but you
didn't ask me about that, did you?

Right, sorry.
How are those bangs coming?

OK, I have apologized, like, 50 times

for being part of the anti-Travis mob.

Though I think dumping him
was the right decision.

Now you need to
stop moping and move on.

It's not about Travis.
This is about you not supporting me.

I am supporting you
by supporting what's best for you.

What's best? According to who?

Maybe you're just too close to the
situation to have a healthy perspective.

Maybe you don't know everything.

I did what everybody else
wanted me to do about Travis.

At least let me feel
how I want to feel afterwards.

Fine. I mean, if you want to brood
and withdraw and blame me...

Where are you going?

I'm moving on.

If you find my behavior so annoying,

then I'll spare us both
and sleep downstairs. Fine?

Fine.

Jen, I love...

...chimichangas.

Have you ever noticed
how the majority of the dishes

are made from the same
three ingredients?

Every dish is
meat, cheese and tortilla.

I know. It's in everything.
Burritos, tacos, enchiladas.

It's all the same basic combo.

- Did you do something with your hair?
- What? No.

Well, I really love...

...it. I...
- Thanks.

Anyhow, so I used to work at this little
Mexican restaurant for a week.

They had five or six pots.

No matter what you ordered,
it came out of those pots.

That's crazy.

- And there was a sauce for the taco...
- I love you.

Thank you.

Hey!

What the hell are you doing?

Sorry. I didn't expect anyone
to be sleeping on the couch.

Three-second rule.

What are you doing here?

Don't tell anyone,

but the cook stashes Cheesaritos
for me in the pantry.

A trick I learned
at my father's townhouse.

He always said fat
was a bad photo op.

That explains why the cook's
fingers are always orange.

- I thought it was some skin disease.
- My dad said that about our cook too.

So why are you down here?

I couldn't sleep.

Before or after
your gigantic fight with Casey?

I'm right next door.

It wasn't a fight.
It was a disagreement.

She just always thinks she
knows how to manage my life.

And a lot of the time, she does.

No, I get it. Friends fight.

What?

I just never thought of you
as a person with...

...friends.
- I have several.

Like my best friend in D.C.,
she and I used to fight constantly.

We always made up, though.

I really miss her now.

Would you prefer I drop them
on the ground first?

No.

Cap?

In here, Spitter.

- You're still cleaning?
- Dirt works 24l7.

So my dinner with Jen K. Was a disaster.

I'm not going to say I told you so,

but you completely screwed up
by not taking my advice.

You were right.

It was horrible.
I said it and she thanked me.

Do you say "you're welcome"
to something like that?

Then we just sat there
for the next hour eating dinner.

Complete awkward silence.

Well, at least she's polite.

Maybe it'll blow over,
and she won't even notice.

Maybe I just need a break
from girls for a while.

Well, your instincts aren't all bad.

I have a sure-fire way to do that,

if you can trust me.

- I'll never doubt you again.
- Good.

Then it's off to...

...the lunch buffet.

Oh, here's your toothbrush.

Why does it taste
like corn chips and feet?

Don't you worry about that.

You just worry about what
you're gonna order at the lunch buffet.

No. I have class.

Come after. And send out the Bat-Signal
to all interested parties.

At least he stopped cleaning. Good job.

Wait, what's the lunch buffet?

Caitlin will be playing the role
of dental floss.

Eva, you'll be the pine cone.

And Frannie will direct
and embody the beautiful

yet powerful Marie-Antoinette.

I know, right?
Actress, director, double threat.

Case, uh, what about you and Ashleigh?

Ashleigh seems to have
a lot of stuff going on right now.

I thought Jen K. Could sub in?

Sub in for Ashleigh?

Are you OK with that, Ash?

It's fine. I'd prefer a dance
with a little more freedom anyway,

so I'd love to pair up
with a new partner.

- Like who?
- Rebecca.

Rebecca who?

We have some amazing ideas
for the Sweet Tooth number.

Maybe we'll dress up as cupcakes.

You have the body for it.

Let's get to work.

- OK, great.
- Yay.

Hey, uh, you guys
haven't seen Heath, have you?

- I need notes from class.
- Haven't seen him since yesterday.

Oh, I'll just get the notes later then.

Hey, you care to join us for lunch?
We're going to get our minds off girls.

All I know is lunch buffet.

A man's gotta eat, right?

Uh, sure. Why not?

Welcome to the second
happiest place on Earth.

Let me show you guys around.

Didn't you expect a strip club
would be bigger? And cleaner?

Can't say I've had too many
expectations on the subject.

This is the lunch buffet.
Complimentary, I might add.

Ah. They serve casserole.

No, no, those are Buffalo wings.

- Mincemeat pie?
- Warm taco meat.

- OK, enough of Name That Tray.
- What, you don't like tacos?

That and I'm about to puke.

Don't worry, all right?

The food gets better after a few rounds.

Fake.

Fake.

Oh, I bet she has back problems.

Look where she's putting those bills.

Which will go
right back into circulation.

By the end of the week,
it could end up

under some kid's pillow
from a tooth fairy.

- Lunch is on me today. Three beers.
- Three beers.

- What do you guys want?
- Uh... Coke.

Excuse me, miss, do you
take student health insurance?

Yes, I do.

How'd you get wrangled into this?

What's the worst thing you can imagine?

This.

Telling your girlfriend "I love you"
and getting a "thank you" back.

Ouch.

Hey, man, don't panic, you know? I'm
having trouble with my he-friend too.

But that's... it's dating.
It's all about communication.

Maybe I should call her.

Mmm. Face-to-face is usually better
in these situations.

She said "thank you" to my face.

Right, probably better to call.

Hello? Rusty?

- Say something.
- Rusty?

What?

We could've planned that better.

In less then 24 hours I went
from boyfriend, to moron, to stalker.

Honeys, I'm home.

Two tacos.

Last time we were here
we owned this place.

Out. Out.

- Are you OK?
- Just scouting out the other acts.

Maybe I should just stand
and you could dance around me.

Trust me, you'll be fine.
There's a great dancer in all of us.

Yeah, buried deeper in some than others.

But they don't have me as a teacher.

All right, let's go.
Five, six, seven, eight.

Oh!

I'm OK.

I don't want to put pressure on you,
but the show is tomorrow.

I know. I'm just a little preoccupied.

Rusty said, "I love you. "

Aww.

Oh.

After three weeks?
What did you say?

- "Thank you. "
- At least you were polite.

- You don't feel the same way?
- I don't know.

I mean, he just kind of
took me by surprise, you know?

Well, just know Rusty's new to all this.

Hey. I was just in the neighborhood,
thought I'd see how our show's doing.

Oh, really well.

Oh, you. Hello.

I'm just gonna go... away.

Well, thanks for stopping by.

Oh, uh, no, this is for you.

It's just some guidelines I typed up
last night. You know, content control.

"Lyrics should be printed and presented
prior to performance for approval.

No nudity during any part
of the performance... "

Or implied intercourse.

"Side-breast and buttocks crack
is also prohibited.

Displays of anti-social behavior,
gang activity, vulgarity

or the occult are prohibited. "
OK. "See next page. "

- I'm sure we can handle this.
- Great.

Um... Oh, also, one more thing.

I have great news.
I want my band to play.

You... have a band.

We call ourselves Darwin Lied.

That I'm sure is awesome. But we
can't break the continuity of the show.

See, the dental hygiene section,
it comes before table manners...

We'll come on afterwards.
Really go out with a bang.

Our show's more of a sunny experience.

Well, I admit, Darwin Lied
has a punishing sound,

but we're pretty positive too.
They're my purity pledge brothers.

Hey, maybe, maybe
you could work the lights?

You know, maybe we'll just scrap
the whole show, just use the band.

OK, I guess you're in.

Great. Trust me,
you have no idea how hard we rock.

Yeah.

Good to see you...

Your first lap dance.

Oh, I remember when Egyptian Joe
treated me to my first

and 17th through 20th.

You like, huh?

She had Jen K.'s watch.

Spitter, what possessed you
to ignore my advice?

Have I ever led you afoul?
Like really afoul, like of the law?

I did it because of a law.

Which one? Together we'll fight it.

Newton's first law of motion.
It deals with inertia.

Ah.

In an isolated system,
a body at rest,

your love life, will remain at rest,

unless disturbed by an unbalanced
force... you and your L-word.

You were a physics major for a while.

Bingo.

Yeah, I thought she was telling me

if I didn't take control of the
relationship and keep it moving forward

then I'd lose her.

OK.

Relax. Mm-hmm.

Oh, uh-huh.

You see how we make rash decisions
when we disregard medical advice?

What you need is more lap dances, stat.

Hey, should we get a lap dance?

You know, just to say
we experimented through college?

What are you doing here?

Rusty invited me. Don't worry,

I'll try not to hit on you too hard
in front of your brothers.

Relax, it's fine.

It's not that. It's, um...

...after I saw you last night,
I met this guy.

We hooked up.

With who?

Doesn't matter. I was...
I was mad at you.

It was stupid.
It'll never happen again.

No, it won't.

- I'm leaving.
- Why? What's wrong?

Relationships suck.

Wait. Beav,

lunch buffet was great,
time to round them up, let's go.

I think Cappie's gonna be a while.

- Did you finish it already?
- Yeah.

Looks like your plan's working. Casey's
definitely sitting up and taking notice.

Yep.

Is it just me or is there like
this weird vortex in this house?

Casey's at the center of it and we're
all defined by our relationship to her.

You're the sidekick. I'm Satan.

Uh, you've done plenty
to earn the Satan name.

But that's not all I am, any more
than all you are is her sidekick.

Can we please not use that term?

Exactly. We should be defining
our own terms.

Casey's still my friend.

I just don't want her to keep
seeing me as... what you said.

Exactly.

Just because you
and I shared a snack food

and a dance doesn't mean we're friends.

We don't have to be enemies either,
just because of who we are to Casey.

For what it's worth,
I was appalled by the way our sisters,

Casey included,
ganged up on you to dump Travis.

- Why would you care?
- Because I've seen it before.

My dad almost divorced my mom
because she didn't poll well.

But there was a four percent margin
of error so they're still together.

They're bringing the check now,
so we can go home.

We are home.
We got everything we need right here.

Not everything.

Are you still hung up
on that little minx? After all this?

I had a little minx once.

She was the fairest of all
the forest creatures,

but I let her get away. Bad Cappie.

All this and the cleaning?
That was about a girl?

We better get going.

No. No, I'm not leaving.

I can sleep in the booth.

I can live off the casserole and dance
on the stage to work off the casserole.

It's been nice knowing you, Spitter.
Take care. You and your family.

There's something
definitely wrong with him.

He's fine.

I hear you,
but drunk and sloppy Cappie

is way better
than mop and scrub Cappie.

Your friend's credit card was rejected.
I hope you've got some cash.

$275?

Hey, he said he was buying.

None of you have any money
to cover Cappie?

Cap. Cappie.

Lucky for you,
I am an amazing boyfriend.

By the way, why
couldn't Ashleigh play the lizard?

Yeah. We're kinda in a fight.

She's bummed about her breakup
with Travis and taking it out on me

because I didn't like him.

I thought I'd give her some space,

and she said thank you
by pairing with Rebecca,

which is fine by me.

I'm not her punching bag.

Yeah, you seem fine.

Yeah.

So if Ashleigh asked you
to dump me, would you do it?

I... It wasn't just me. It was Frannie
and the Standards Board too.

You know how much
your opinion matters.

She's been your biggest fan
since freshman year.

Yeah.

During Rush, I was actually close
to taking a bid at Tri-Pi.

Ashleigh found out
one of the girls hated me

and was gonna ding me out
two weeks later.

And she keyed the girl's car.

You never told me that.

Someone keyed my car this rush.

But like I was saying,
we totally know each other.

We share the same opinions
and feelings about stuff.

We were always so in sync.

Now, it's all... weird.

No. If you're that much in sync, then
I'm sure she feels the exact same way.

She probably misses you too.

Yeah, that's you.

Hello?

Whoo!
Check out the sexy librarian.

I'd like to check you out
and get a late fee.

I'm not a stripper!

Oh, come on, baby.

Good work, guys.

- Save us, Wonder Woman.
- It's for Leading a Good Life.

- Yeah, I bet it is.
- Guys. My sister.

You want me to bail
you dorks out or not?

Yes, please.

Girlfriend doesn't say "I love you"
and you end up in a strip club?

She told you?

We're in a sorority,
not a secret society.

What'd you guys do, taser him?

Come on. Let's go.

That better be a 20, bro.

He's messed up. I think
some girl dumped him or something.

275 bucks? This is so typical Cappie.

What are you not saying?

Um...

Cappie and I may have
revisited our history recently.

Things kind of escalated.

Escalated how?

We kissed. That's it.

It was a big,
stupid lapse of judgment.

You're his minx.

His what?

I thought it was over
between you guys.

Just because we stopped dating
doesn't mean all the feelings were gone.

When he finally tells you how he feels,
you dump him for Evan?

Surprising, right?

You led him on, Case.

He probably thought all he had
to do was make his move.

And when he finally opened up,
you broke his heart.

Did you at least thank him?

We weren't right for each other,
and he knew it.

Evan and I have plans,
goals, ambitions.

Cappie has... Kappa Tau.

But what about love?
Do you love Evan?

Of course I do.
But love isn't simple, Rusty.

And considering what
you're going through right now,

you of all people
should appreciate that.

Hey, Spitter.

You're psychic?

Waxed floors, remember?

I'd know that depressed
shuffle anywhere.

What's with this welt
on my head? Did I enjoy it?

Absolutely.

Although, yesterday's excursion
has opened my eyes

- to the perils of women.
- It's just a bump, Spitter.

No, I mean relationships, they suck.

I never want to go through
what you did with Casey.

I missed something here.

She's the one who bailed us out.

- She told me. About you two.
- Ah.

I should've taken your advice
in the first place.

But you were right, Spitter.
I was wrong.

What about?

Saying the L-word.

I said it, but I'm not
even sure if I meant it.

At least you said it. By the time
I came clean to the pretty Cartwright,

the Evan train
had already left the station.

So how do you know when you mean it?

I don't know. I...

I guess it's a kind
of burning, itching sensation.

But, you know, in a good way.

You think if you would have
told Casey how you felt sooner,

you would be together?

Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe she
just would've said... "Thank you. "

The point is
it's not some law or equation.

You can't predict the outcome.

Then why go through with it
if all you know is,

if it doesn't work out,
you'll be destroyed?

Because what you get before it ends,
no matter how it ends, can rock.

The truth is, I wouldn't trade my time
with Casey for anything.

Even a night with the naughty nurse?

Oh, that would explain the stethoscope.

Two minutes. Let's go, ladies.

I need Casey's eyebrow pencil.
It's the perfect color.

You know what? I'm fine, thanks.

Jen K., why aren't you dressed?

Come on, everyone. Come on, please.

Find that phone.

- Who didn't turn off their phone?
- It's mine. I turned it off. Sorry.

OK.

Come on. Let's go.
Let's go. We're on.

- Hey.
- Hey.

You left without saying anything.

Probably better you didn't hear
what I had to say.

I messed up, I know.
We should've talked about it first.

Talk about it?
Before you cheated on me?

I'm not sure I even really
cheated on you.

I mean, this isn't exactly
a traditional courtship.

You said you wanted
to keep things loose.

So now you can be free to
play the field. If you want.

Oh, yeah.

Totally.

Heath.

Guess I'll see you around.

Rusty.

I don't love you.

What?

I only said it because I wanted
to prove that I wasn't like your ex.

That I could take the initiative
in the romance department.

I just...
I took it a little too far.

- So you don't love me?
- No.

I mean, not yet.

Well, maybe I do.

I don't know. I'm not sure.

Look, here's what I do know:

I want an experience
that I wouldn't trade anything for

and I want that experience
to be with you.

Thank you.

Me too. With you. Um...

Will you?

- What the hell was this show?
- I'm stuck.

Not all angels are in heaven.
This song's for you, Casey Cartwright.

# There once was a young lad

# Who dreamed of a girl
with a pretty, pretty smell

# She forced him through
the valley of the shadow of doubt

# And their slumber felt like heaven

# But they woke up in hell

# Heathens be warned
You better listen to me

# Or it's fire
and brimstone for eternity

# Repent all your sins
'cause your life is at stake

# You better pray the
Lord for your soul to take

# Heathens be warned
You better listen to me

# Or it's fire
and brimstone for eternity

# Repent all your sins
'cause your life is at stake

# You better pray the Lord
for your soul to take #

Travis says he's sorry he had to cancel
your visit to Providence next week,

but he misses you, a lot.

So now what?

Now, I apologize.

First, for judging your love life.

I'm in no position to judge
or organize anyone else's.

Want to talk about it?
Is it that bad?

No, Ash. For once,
we need to talk about you.

We think alike so much, I just
assumed that applied to everything.

I quit checking in on what you needed.

That's the second apology I owe you.

Accepted.
I know you want what's best for me.

Yeah.

- I missed my Mary-Kate.
- I missed my Ashleigh.

I love...

...the cottage cheese on the ceiling.

I love...

...this song.

- I love... my comforter.
- Hmm.

I think I might love you.

I think I might too.

We can still move
our relationship forward.

If you want to.

I'd love that.