Greek (2007–2011): Season 1, Episode 7 - Multiple Choice - full transcript

Previously on Greek:

- I broke up with you 'cause...
- I dumped you.

- Why do we have to do this?
- He's the teacher and we do as told.

I'm not here to coddle you
or inspire you.

So you hazed us?

I miss my boyfriend.

- I want to do that.
- You could if you wanted to.

But you're committed,
takes character.

I'm sorry, Case, but when I think about
you and Cappie I kind of lose my mind.

- You want to be with her?
- She's the greatest thing

- that ever happened to me.
- I hope I didn't hurt you



- when I ended things.
- Who said it's over?

Screw the poor?

Survival of the richest.

Doesn't that seem... wrong?

You want an A in Finsterbach's
macro-econ class,

then you have to understand Finster
hates anybody below the poverty line.

So just ignore chapters
ten through 13 for the midterm?

He calls them the homeless pages.

I think it's best to just close your
eyes and pretend they're not even there.

Nice. Omega Chi membership
certainly has its privileges.

Heads up, coming through.

It's like Christmas morning.

Are you guys group filing?

It's midterms. We're studying.



Beav, Clemo's past ten midterms
for American History 312-K.

Profiles in courage?

Be brave.

- You're handing out old tests?
- No. These are just study aids.

It's a sum total
of all Kappa Tau knowledge

compiled over the last 30 years.

These are weapons against
the insidious administration

and their C grade point average
requirements for fraternity membership.

You know, I've never gotten below an A.

- Boo!
- Spitter, get out of here!

Ape shall not kill ape!

Psychology 303:
From Dr. Freud to Dr. Phil.

It's like five years old.
Got anything more recent?

You'll be fine. Alkin recycles tests
every five years

- to stop people from cheating.
- But isn't this cheating?

Cheating?

Would our esteemed professors continue
to reuse the same tests over and over,

knowing full well that future students
could easily recycle them?

It's their unspoken
gesture of solidarity

against the evil administration.

I think it's brave
that they're doing this.

Can I offer you a study aid?

Oh!

Alas, poor Yorick.

I knew him, Heath.

We seem to be
a bit light in the polymer sciences.

That's all right.

- Hey.
- Ready for dinner?

I thought you had a physics
review session tonight.

Optional. I already studied everything.
I know it cold.

Besides, we've been going out for
11 days and you know what that means?

We've been going out for 264 hours.

Our two-week anniversary is coming up
and I was hoping that maybe we could...

So then Travis says he's done with
midterms and he can fly in for a visit.

He gets in tomorrow morning.

- Isn't that great?
- Super.

Did it dawn on him that we might
still be in midterms?

Of course it did,

which is why he volunteered
to tutor anyone who needs it.

He's really good at that.

Oh, my God, Rebecca just got
a grapeseed brown sugar rub.

I wish my dad would send me
to Canyon Ranch to recover.

- It was a gift to us all.
- Hey, Casey, when Travis gets here

- do you want to study?
- Excuse me. Hello.

Um, Casey, I was wondering if you could
help me find a book in the stacks.

Sorry, already got a study buddy.

Frannie?

Yeah, no.

I'm good. Thanks.

Casey, you and I have been
through an awful lot the past year.

You know, with the misunderstandings,
the cheating, problems with my parents.

Yeah, but we've been doing better.

Only because we've been
pretending that there's nothing wrong.

And sometimes...
it's not enough.

- Evan, are you?
- Listen, because I deserve more,

and so do you. And I've been
thinking about this a lot lately.

And I...

We... We can't go on like this.

So...

Your letters.
You're lavaliering me?

I mean, if you'll accept.

You're supposed to say congratulations.

Sorry, congratulations.
What's lavaliering?

It's when you
give your letters to a girl

as a symbol of your commitment to one
another. It's the first step to pinning,

- engagement...
- Oh, congratulations.

Oh, look at this.

The Cartwright Kids.

You know, you two should band together

and solve mysteries, fight crime.
You've got the perfect name for it.

There's a sketchy janitor
who I think is up to something.

Casey got lavaliered by Evan.

- Hey, that's supposed to be a secret.
- Why'd you tell me?

Good question.

Congrats, Case.

Thanks.

Your kids will be very... Aryan.

Good luck with midterms, Rusty.

Bye.

- So when did it happen?
- Last night, I guess.

That means one day until
the candle-passing ceremony

and another before Evan makes
his presentation on the ZBZ lawn,

which means she's still technically
"un-lava-ed" for two more days.

I still can't believe
she's with that jerk.

I didn't have a date to junior prom
which is when Travis called

except he thought he was talking
to my best friend Kristen.

Ashleigh was so excited to talk to me
that I completely forgot about

mixing up the phone numbers. And
obviously, I forgot about Kristen too.

And we've been together ever since.

He's the best thing
that ever happened to me.

- Aww.
- So you said. Five times.

Ashleigh neglected to mention the fact
that Kristen is now pre-law at Yale.

Ah. The frat house.

Evan and Calvin moved one of the actives
so you can stay the weekend.

- Wasn't that nice?
- Thanks, Evan.

- It's Calvin.
- Sorry.

He's really bad with names.

- Where can I wash up?
- Uh, upstairs.

Right past the bedchamber.

OK.

Do me a favor, all right?

Don't tell Travis how drunk I got
at the military mixer.

- He doesn't like when I drink too much.
- Yeah.

OK.

There are five stages
to the hero's journey.

Stage one is the call to adventure.

That's where an act of fate
actually chooses our hero.

OK, then we...

Can I help you?

Uh, yeah. Sorry I'm late.

- You're about two months late, Mr...
- Cappie.

Hey, Case!

- I thought you dropped this class?
- So did I.

Um, as I was saying, stage two is where
the hero proves himself worthy

on a road of travels. We go to stage
three, where he achieves self-knowledge,

usually through a mystical source.

Stage four,
he confronts his true desires.

And then in stage five,
the stakes are set,

the hero and the world are transformed.
Now do we have any examples of that?

- Uh, yeah.
- Prometheus? King Arthur?

- Mm-hmm.
- Star Wars and The Matrix.

You know, those are really
good examples, Mr. Cappie.

That segues us perfectly
into our midterm essay assignment.

We're going to compare and contrast
literary and cinematic heroes

and their relationship
to Campbell's paradigm.

You're going to work in teams.

My TA posted your team partner's names
on the board in the hallway.

So that's it, you guys. Good luck.

There's been a horrible mistake.

- Some might call it fate, partner.
- You can't be my partner.

You've only been to two classes.

- Uh, three. Including today.
- You haven't read the material.

- This is ridiculous.
- Really want to go against the teacher?

Fine. We'll write the paper together,
but you have to take this seriously.

This is a big part of our final grade.
It's huge.

So the adventure begins.

So collagen scaffolds
don't react to external positive ions?

- No. Well, I mean, they do but...
- It's not on the test. I got it.

I gotta finish my dissertation,
a paper on speech pattern recognition,

- clean my oven, wash my cat...
- And meet me at the library at nine?

Yeah, yeah. Nine o'clock. Library.

You're tutored for Hastings' physics
midterm by his teaching assistant?

I help him. Harville's in my purity
group and he's trying to find his way

back to the path of enlightenment,

so I volunteered to help
with his re-virginization.

- His what?
- To gain his second virginity,

it takes significant amounts
of prayer and testimony.

So in return for saving his soul,
Harville's offered physics tutoring.

But between you and me,
he's getting the better deal.

You know the material.
Couldn't leave the physics part?

Considering Hastings
sprung new material on us,

I'm just chalking this one up
to God's will.

New material? For a midterm?

Five new chapters
assigned at the review session.

Five? But the review session
was optional.

No, Harville's mine.
You can't have him.

That is for a candle-passing ceremony.

Please don't tell me you're pregnant.
That would be really weird.

Lavaliered.

I promised Evan
I'd keep it a secret.

Oh, I'm not good at secrets.
I get all hive-y.

Wow, this is so great.

Maybe one day Travis and I
could take the next step too.

It's pretty amazing that you guys
have been together so long.

Since high school. And tack on
750 miles of separation to that.

Yeah. Long-distance
relationships are hard.

But that's what makes us so great.

- It strengthens us.
- Yeah.

But sometimes...

...some people in that
situation would grow apart.

- Outgrow each other.
- But I owe Travis everything.

If not for him, I never would've
gotten into Cyprus-Rhodes.

- I never would've met you.
- Right.

But I... And I'm just saying
how it's really, really great

that Travis is
definitely who you want.

Of course he is.

Just like Evan is who you want, right?

Oh, come on.
Who wouldn't want Evan?

Right.

Yeah.

Dr. Hastings,
if you have a moment to talk...

We're talking.
We're also walking.

Thanks to my superior ability
to multitask.

Good one, sir.

Um, about the last class review...

Unhappy with the new chapters, are we?

Aren't review sessions about
previously taught material?

Hypothetically. We weren't progressing
fast enough in the curriculum,

so I took the liberty
of making this a lesson.

Science is an evolving field requiring
the ability to grasp concepts quickly.

Isn't it more important, though,
that you teach us physics... sir?

It's very simple, Mr. Cartwright.
Learn the new material or fail.

Oh, and I'll be giving the test
in room 407.

More space, less cheating.

Don't tell me, you're arranging
a Kappa Tau midterm party.

Better, a midterm barbecue. For two.

Cappieburgers, on account of you
picking that Isthmus guy.

- His name was Prometheus.
- Still like yours with pickles?

One of us has to take this seriously.
I bet you don't have a clue

- what film hero you want to go with?
- Keanu Reeves.

- Not a hero, he's an actor.
- He is a film icon.

I'll write the paper myself
and put your name on it, OK?

Prometheus,
a most historic Greek god dude,

who journeyed on a most excellent quest
to bring fire to mankind

only to incur the wrath
of the odious Zeus,

who chained the dude
on yonder mountaintop,

where an eagle egregiously scarfed the
dude's liver out for like... infinity.

Yeah. I full-on read Campbell's book.

Since this morning? That's impossible.

A most bodacious masterpiece
with many pages

in which I forgoed
an afternoon of non-bogus fun.

This is school.

- It's not supposed to be fun.
- Says who? Anything can be fun.

And everything should be fun.

We had crazy fun all the time
when we were going out.

Sex, drinking... sex.

Eating pie in bed.

You... bought an apple pie.

Remember the Hellraisers
and Heartbreakers party?

- That was lemon meringue.
- Or the pumpkin pecan?

Halloween.
We were dressed up as Equine Elvis.

You were the horse's ass.

Or that weekend when we got arrested
for protesting protests?

- Blueberry cream.
- Cappie.

Coconut custard.

It wasn't that bad, was it?
I mean, not all of it.

It was never bad.

It just was what it was and...
and then it was time we grew up

or at least for one of us.

Yeah, bummer that one of us had to go
and give up on all that fun.

Want a bite?

We should write the paper.

Just a nibble.

If I do, then can we focus on the paper?

What's the harm in taking
one little bite of an apple?

I'm not gonna make it.

That was just chapter 17. I have
four more to go and 36 hours to do it.

Rusty, you'll get by.
You'll cram, and you'll survive.

All my life, I was who I was
because I was smartest.

I never thought
I'd be the guy who got by.

You know, what I don't get is,
if you're having so much trouble,

how is everybody else
getting through this?

Polarity reverses
in a sub-quantum flux.

Harville?

I didn't get enough pills.
It's midterms.

Just stay with me.
I don't understand the polarity.

Just give me like two more...

Come on, Harville!

- Isn't this like prescription speed?
- It's what he takes to concentrate.

He has a medical condition.
That's what he told me.

I think he just needs
to sleep it off, Dale.

No, Harville needs to tutor me.
I need to find him drugs.

I need drugs.
It's as simple as that.

All right, I need drugs! Who's got them?
I'm not a narc. Just a guy in a bind.

We couldn't do this at the library?

So we could fall asleep?
Libraries are too quiet, boring.

This place is teeming
with inspiration.

Not to mention refreshing refreshments.

Iblis has only one S.

Since the Greek system is just an excuse
to have a bar in your house,

isn't this place kind of redundant?

Uh, there's actually a lot more
to the Greek system than drinking.

Sure. How could I forget
hangovers and throwing up? Right?

- Calvin.
- I'm terrible with names.

Babe, do you think you can go
grab us two glasses of Pinot Noir?

Sure.

You know, Frannie, Dobler's has
an exquisite wine selection.

Two Pinot Noirs, please.

Since when do you drink wine?

I've always enjoyed a sophisticated
drink with a nice bouquet.

- I hate Travis.
- Mm-mmm.

You just hate how Ashleigh turns into
a fake, subservient shell of herself

- when she's around Travis.
- Same difference.

Not unless this is the real Ashleigh,

and Travis brings out
the person she was meant to be.

Oh, uh, Helva is Egyptian, not Persian.

You really should have
read the book more closely.

Look, my point is,
maybe she is finally becoming

the person she was meant to be.

If that's the case, she'd be better off
not growing up at all.

Could not agree more, especially if
it turns you into someone you're not.

Someone pretentious,
boring... pie-less.

Is this your barely clever,
hardly subtle way

of commenting
on my relationship with Evan?

It's my barely clever,
hardly subtle way

of throwing monkey wrenches
into the works.

Want to know what I find
most pathetic about the Greek system?

It's all the pseudo-pageantry.
You know, the Greek letters,

the Latin phrases and nobody here has a
clue to what any of that actually means.

- Wait, excuse me? What in?
- Hey, let's talk about politics!

Look, I can't listen to this jackass
any longer. I'm going to the library.

You can stay here with your refreshing
refreshments and monkey wrenches.

What are you doing?

Don't worry,
I used to be a Latin major.

Translation:

How much wood would a woodchuck
chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Travis?

A round for the house?

- Come on, let's go.
- Bye.

- Bye, guys.
- Later.

Where were we?

Oh, stage two.
"A hero overcomes obstacles. "

Ow.

Midterms and you decide to go camping?

Three hours?

I only allocated
27 minutes for napping.

Then you'll definitely need this.

Caffeine. Trimethylxanthine.

I spent all last night trying to learn
five brain-cramping chapters of physics.

My brain's fried. Forget what I studied
last night, I can't remember

- what I learned three weeks ago.
- You'll be fine. You always are.

I've busted my ass, I've done
everything I could, but I'm gonna fail.

And the worst part about it?
The game's rigged.

Old tests,
paid tutors for cramming, drugs.

College isn't about learning,

it's a four-year course
on how to get by and beat the system.

The illusion is shattered, huh?

It's supposed to be
the last bastion for education.

A place removed from society
where you're inspired...

...not discouraged.

A place where teachers teach
and students learn.

Yeah, and animated deer
frolic through the quad.

Nothing is as simple
as you'd want it to be.

When you think you have everything
figured out, someone comes

- and complicates things.
- Someone?

Or something.

So with almost everyone cheating,
is it really cheating if you cheat?

Honestly, I don't think there are
right or wrong decisions anymore.

Everything is relative.

So I just need to decide
what's right for me?

Unfortunately,
the hard part isn't choosing...

...it's living with the choice you make.

Thank you.

The Beav seems pretty happy.

He got so excited
about his history midterm,

he went online last night and discovered
that JFK wasn't just an airport.

And that LaGuardia was a mayor?

No one appreciates
a show-off, Spitter.

Sorry.

So I was just wondering

if maybe you can take another look
in the filing cabinets for me.

- Honors physics?
- The cookie jar's empty.

I need help.

And... And I don't care where or how.

I'm willing to do anything.

Are you really sure you want to do this?

You need to do this?

Yeah. I'm positive.

You pick the hand with the jelly bean
and you go back to your dorm,

with a burst of fresh blueberry flavor
and no questions asked.

You take the other one, and you get
to see how deep the rabbit hole goes.

The rabbit hole?

So, Neo, which one do you choose?

So do you have big plans tonight?

I have more work to do
on that stupid paper with Cappie.

And the candle-passing ceremony.
That's tonight, isn't it?

Oh, yeah. Yes!
The candle-passing. Very exciting!

So, how is that paper coming?

Fine. Surprisingly well,
considering it's with Cappie.

On the other hand,
he's more motivated than usual.

Like he's turned over
a new leaf.

Well, I mean, not really.

He still came up with
the whole Keanu Reeves approach.

Keanu Reeves actually works
kind of, though, in the construct...

Of Campbell's monomyth.

Yeah, I know. I know. I know.

Strange things are afoot
at the Circle K...

...where Keanu must prepare
for his most momentous journey of all.

Saving the world
from non-bogus waterslides,

awesome malls,
and totally bodacious babes.

It's quintessential
outside-the-box Cappie logic.

No. It's smoke and mirrors.
It's parlor tricks.

You know, to prop up
a lifetime of mediocre grades,

getting by
and avoiding all expectations.

I mean, listen, Cappie is the same guy
I knew in freshman year.

OK, he's smart,
he is full of potential,

at the end of the day,
he's going nowhere.

As opposed to you. And me.

Cappie will probably be president
of Kappa Tau for the rest of his life.

Or the social director
of a Sandals resort.

You know, in ten years, I plan on
being a Harvard law school grad.

Look, I know where I want to be, Casey.
Do you?

OK, moving on to new business.

Ashleigh, we need to talk about Travis.

Uh, what about him?

We're all sisters here,
we look out for each other.

We stick together.
And to put it mildly,

Travis isn't exactly quality glue.
You need to dump him.

If this is about last night,
he was just joking.

In an unfunny way.

He's very dry.

- Casey.
- Uh, Frannie...

He publicly mocked the entire Greek
system in front of everyone at Dobler's.

- Not cool.
- But I thought everyone liked Travis.

- We do.
- We don't, we lied.

Ashleigh, even with such obvious pluses
that he's hot

and has good fashion sense,

his many ass-like qualities
completely outweigh his un-ass ones.

But he's an Ivy Leaguer.

Barely. He goes to Brown.

Now, I know this must be
difficult for you

so in the interest of
helping you out for the short term,

I've made a list of dating alternatives
that won't bring down the house.

We have Adam at Lambda Sig.

Alan at Pi Zeta.
A whole list just for you.

Casey, help me out.

Ashleigh, no offense,
but you deserve better than Travis.

Oh. Whoops!

Look at that. It's time
to bring everyone else in.

Hey, and I have something
special for you guys tonight.

A candle-passing ceremony!
I'm so excited.

Yeah. Me too.

Welcome to the CRU
Answer Center.

If you have the cash,
we have the answers.

Press one for English.
Para continuar en espanol...

English literature from Beowulf
to The Canterbury Tales, press one.

Organic chem and physics, press two.

For Dr. Hastings'
Honors Physics 205 midterm, press one.

OK, it's time
for our anonymous someone

to reveal herself
by blowing out the candle.

Once around, friendship.

Twice, lavaliere. Three times, pinning.

Four times, engagement.

What's five times?

Murder.

Kidding!

OK, settle, girls.

# Now we pass 'round the light

# Let our love glow and warm you

# Let our bonds through the years

# Let our hearts be joined as one

Could have warned me before
they blackballed Travis.

I'm sorry. I tried to talk
about this before.

I just didn't think
that you would join the mob.

Travis isn't right for you,

and if you weren't worried
about being single, you'd know.

- You and Evan are perfect together?
- This isn't about me and Evan.

Maybe it's about you and Cappie.
But no one knows how you really feel.

What are you talking about?

We're just writing a paper together.

If that were the case,
why aren't you blowing out the candle?

You're not still upset, are you?

Nope. In one ear and out the other.
Of course, on the way,

you drilled a big hole through my brain.
Not that it matters.

I know how much Travis means to you,

but there comes a time when
you have to put the past behind you.

Excellent advice.
Maybe you should take it yourself.

- I'm looking out for you.
- Oh, so you're being helpful.

Ashleigh.

I agree with Frannie,
but not because of the house.

When you're around Travis,
you turn from fun, interesting Ashleigh

into boring, horrible Ashleigh.
You disappear.

And as your friend,
I just thought you should know that.

But I love him.

Yeah. Sometimes...

...you outgrow the people you love.

How romantic of you.

Where are you going?

Case, true friends support one another,
no matter what.

No, real friends tell each other
the truth, no matter what.

Here's some truth.
What you did to me... sucks.

The midterm's in 13 hours.
It's 40 percent of our total grade.

Dale, you got to be careful
drinking all that caffeine.

No, my resting heart rate is 145.
That's well within tolerance.

For a hummingbird.

I only have 47 more pages to go.
It's fine.

I just bought the highest-priced
candy bars on the planet.

"Role of noncentrosymmetry

in liquid crystalline and
copolymer black self-assemblies. "

All the formulas
are listed as ingredients.

OK, I'm missing my Aviators.

I think they're downstairs.

Are you sure
you have to leave?

I've got a lot of work to do back
in Providence over the break.

Well, have a safe trip back.
We sure are gonna miss you!

Yeah. Thanks...

- I'll be down in a sec.
- OK.

Quick question, real fast.
What do you think of Travis? Honestly.

Um...

He's... not my type.

Good one.

My sisters want me to dump him.

- But what do you want to do?
- I don't know.

Ashleigh, it doesn't matter what
your sisters want or what I think.

- You date who you want to date.
- But Frannie said...

No, you love who you want to love.

You know?
And if that's a problem, you just...

- You keep your private life private.
- I'm not a very good liar.

It's not lying. It's your life.

The only person you have
to be honest with is yourself.

OK.

Thirty minutes left.

I suggest that if you haven't
begun the essay questions

at the end of page three by now,
you pick up your test,

go straight to the administration
and transfer to something simpler.

"Only the hero is chosen by fate. "

"And only he can transcend the obstacles

in order to fulfill his destiny... "

"To accomplish the impossible. "

"And to forever change the world. "

It's, uh... great.

We make a good team.

Do we?

Maybe it is fate.

I've got a little confession to make.

It wasn't exactly fate
that brought us together.

Define "exactly. "

I bribed the TA with a few bottles
of Sandusky Lager if he put us together.

- So fate was a six pack of beer?
- No. Two six packs.

I don't know what I was thinking.

I should have guessed
this was all just a big scam.

No scam. I just had to convince you that
getting lavaliered was a big mistake.

So I'd make
a bigger mistake with you?

Well, not the words I'd choose exactly.

I can't believe it. I have a boyfriend
and I was gonna give that all up

- for one of your jokes.
- This isn't a joke. A joke would be:

- A guy walks into a bar. He orders...
- Stop! Stop! Be a grown-up for once.

- Have a grown-up conversation!
- A dyslexic guy walks into a bra?

I can't go back to the way it was.

I can't spend the rest of my life
protesting protests and eating pie.

- Look, I have plans, goals.
- I know. I have them too.

Really? I know where I want to be
in ten years. Do you?

I want to be with you.

So I was thinking we could go
to this Swedish-Indian fusion place.

I heard they have the best curried
meatballs and smoked salmon nan in town.

Jen, do you know how to calculate
the surface waves of polymer films?

No, of course not.

Well, neither do I.
But the problem is, I'm supposed to.

I don't understand.

I forgot what learning is about,
why I wanted to study science.

It wasn't about getting good grades.
I wanted to learn.

I cheated.

- You what?
- I got desperate.

I don't... I didn't know what to do.
Well, that's not true.

I did, but I cheated anyway.

I cheated the school,
and worst of all, I cheated myself.

So, what are you going to do about it?

I'm so proud of you.
How did Travis take it?

He was pretty shook up. Very sad.

- Tears?
- A few.

Good. So on to bigger
and better things...

I'm thinking it would be best
to take a few days off from guys.

I so understand. The mourning process
can be very helpful.

Let's talk Saturday.

I'll be at Dobler's.

Excellent. Atta girl.

Ash, is there anything I can... do?

# Omega Chi girl
As sweet as can be

# Omega Chi girl
Look and you'll see

# Oh, fair and true and strong

# A woman whose charms
are worthy of song

# Omega Chi girl
Sent from above #

Hey.

So I took your advice, and I am
keeping my private life private.

Good for you.

But if I have to keep Travis a secret,

what do I do about the winter formal
and the spring mixer?

Well, if you don't have anyone else,
you can always take me.

You'll beard for me?

Strange as it may seem.

- Hey, Calvin.
- Hey.

You want to go catch that game?
That's playing?

Oh... are you good?

Yeah, go. I'll see you later.

OK.

Hey, Travis, I know you're on the plane,

but I just wanted to say
that I had a wonderful time

and I can't wait to see you next month
in Rhode Island.

I love you.

That movie sucked.
I totally guessed the ending.

That's not the point.
The point is the hero always wins.

- So it's like one of the rules.
- Absolutely.

The twists and turns they take,
that's just to make it interesting.

In the end,
good will always triumph over evil.

Always?

Without a doubt.

There we go.

I love you, Casey.

I love you too.