Gossip Girl (2007–2012): Season 2, Episode 6 - New Haven Can Wait - full transcript

Serena decides to visit Yale and gets even with Blair. Dan learns that none of his recommendation letters made it to Yale.

Gossip Girl here,
your one and only source...

...into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite.

Andr? Leon Talley is raving about...

...the finale dress. He loved it.
- My dress?

You don't care about
the school you missed.

I'm not coming back.

I tried to write but I couldn't focus.

You'll get no
letter of recommendation.

The Captain is being charged
with embezzlement and fraud.

This is an absolute disaster.

Serena is in Women's Wear Daily.



I'm just tired of trying to hold myself
back so I don't outshine you.

- Excuse me?
- From now on...

...I'm gonna be who I am.

Where has she been?

And who am I?

That's one secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me. XOXO...

...Gossip Girl.

The rain in Spain...

...stays mainly in the plain.

Again.

The rain...

...in Spain...

...stays mainly in the plain?



Well, I'm a straight-A student, I am.

The rain in Spain...

The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain.

By George, I think she's got it.

I do?

No, she does.

Ow!

Rise and shine, early birds,
Gossip Girl here.

We all have dreams. Some good,
some bad, some fun and Freudian.

Morning, Miss Blair.

And some are the dreams
we've had our whole lives.

Can you believe in three short hours, I'll
be stepping through the gates of Yale?

You used to sleep in your father's
sweatshirt every night until it fell apart.

I'll get a new one. After I attend
the Dean of Admissions' private reception.

Most candidates think it's legend but
Daddy was invited when he visited.

Your mother left for work but
was very specific about your breakfast.

Some kombucha, Miss Blair?

Since the dean handpicks the guests
right after their interviews, I'm a shoo-in.

If there's one thing I know,
it's that I give good interview.

I could make Larry King cry.

I am so proud of you.

And I'm so ready to be surrounded
by people more like me and less like...

...her.

You've got to be kidding me.

- Ready?
- Oh, yeah. I'm all packed up.

You excited, me at your alma mater?

So that means you turned down
this personal invitation to tour Yale?

- Brown's always been my plan.
- And I loved it there.

But if Yale had invited me,
I would have said "yes."

The invitation is handwritten, Serena,
in cursive.

Yale is for overachieving bookworms
and preppies. The Blairs of the world.

Though the two of us
aren't on speaking terms...

...there's no way I would step on
that particular land mine.

Miss Serena and you
are still not speaking?

Not a word in a week,
though I can't seem to escape her.

Since Mother's show,
Manhattan has turned into Serenaville.

I heard Marc Jacobs named a purse
after her.

Well, I simply don't understand
the fascination.

Fortunately, Yale is out of her reach.

It's okay, Serena, you don't have to hide
the photo. I've seen it.

I'm sorry they called you
my "unidentified friend."

- It's better than "mother."
- What's in the bag?

It's my dress for the fall dinner
at the Frick. Eleanor sent them over.

I don't know why there's two.

This one's a little edgier than I thought,
but I like it.

Apparently, it's for me.

This must be mine.

It is a really nice color, though.

- What do you think about this color?
- The paper? It's white.

No, no, no. It's not white,
it's soft ecru. This is white.

I like the ecru
but I'm not sure about the font.

Don't worry,
you're the perfect Yale candidate.

But I can't help thinking
Yale is for presidents, not Humphreys.

- As the man who cursed you with...
- I didn't say "cursed."

I feel compelled to give a speech.
Daniel, my son...

...you have near-perfect grades,
excellent SATs.

- More talent than money could buy.
- But.

- After that, you find a "but"?
- What if it's not enough?

If that's not enough, there's something
wrong with Yale, not you.

Thanks, Dad. All right. Well, I'm off.

It's just me, the best English Department
in America...

...and a hundred highly competitive,
extremely nervous, wannabe Yalies.

Get excited, Archibald.

We're three hours away from
horny Women's Studies majors...

...wanting to work out all their anger
towards men in their bunk beds.

My heart's still set on USC.

I wish my mom
wouldn't push Yale so hard.

She's pushing because the Vanderbilt
side of her family practically owns it.

Think of it this way.
Yale is your safety school.

I could get away from all the drama
on the other side of my family.

Someplace they don't know
me or the Captain.

Blow off the formal visit crap
and focus on what really matters.

Creating your own "freshman 15."

Are you not seriously considering
Yale either?

I'm evaluating colleges
based on secret societies.

The Skull and Bones.

My goal is to get in
their inner sanctum.

How exactly are you planning
to do that?

By showing up.

This weekend concludes college visits.

The schools you will be visiting,
Harvard, Yale and Brown...

...are among the best in the world.

You are ambassadors
of Constance Billard and St. Jude's...

...as well as your own families.

We urge you to present yourselves
in the best possible light. Good luck.

I wonder what lucky school
will be the subject...

...of the next nursery rhyme penned
by Brooklyn's lamest fiction writer?

The Dean of Admissions at Yale
will appreciate my ability...

...to write about damaged characters.

Looks like we'll be spending
the weekend together. How nice.

Say hello to the characters
on public transportation for me.

Hey. So you're off to Yale?

Your deductive-reasoning skills
are perfect for a place like Brown.

A place like Brown?

An enclave of trustafarians
and children of celebrities...

...who major in drum circles
and semiotics, whatever that is.

I can't wait for you to come home
next Thanksgiving...

...a militant veganista,
anemic and proud.

Brown is an Ivy League school.

Everyone knows the only real Ivies
are the holy trinity:

Harvard, Yale and Princeton.

You may find this hard to believe
but not everyone wants to go to Yale.

Not everyone wants
to be Blair Waldorf.

Not everyone can be.

Since we're not friends anymore,
let me speak frankly.

You're not that smart.
You lack focus and discipline.

Charm is all well and good but,
in the real world, knowledge is power.

You wouldn't make it past admissions,
no matter how hard you tried.

Have fun in Providence.

Oh, and, you know, maybe you can get
your hair dreadlocked while you're there.

Gossip Girl's hardly a war buff...

...but I did cram for a quiz or two
on the American Revolution.

The last time New Haven was invaded
was in 1779.

Hey, Mom, change of plans.
Tell the driver we're going to Yale.

Heads up, B, there's a cannonball
coming your way.

After that shower,
there won't be any hot water.

I wasn't in the shower the whole time.
I was waiting.

- I got here as fast as I could.
- I know. I saw you running up the block.

What's going on here?

Did you know Vanessa's applying
for NYU next fall?

You wouldn't be able to
without high school.

Which she's doing by homeschooling.

Because she has to work
to support herself.

Living as an adult when a teenager
is not something any parent wants.

What about what I want?

Until you're 18, what you want
gets trumped by what I want.

Plan B.

Come to the atelier with me.

- Come with you?
- Spend the day with me.

End of the day, if you think
I should go back to Constance, I will.

Jenny, I've seen all your designs,
heard about your internship all summer.

- What more is there?
- Well, things are different now.

Well, at least we'll be moving forward
in one way or another.

- It's a deal.
- You mean it?

- You have my word.
- Thank you.

We hear there's nothing
like Yale in October.

The crisp air, the turning leaves,
the invasion of prospective freshmen.

Better hurry up, Lonely Boy,
the future's waiting.

To summarize, I really feel
that I have something to say.

- Well, by all means, say it.
- Via my writing.

With its world-class English Department,
Yale would be the ideal place...

...for me to grow as a writer.
To flourish and thrive.

Kudos to you and your inner thesaurus.
There's a problem with your application.

A problem...? No, there's...
I double... I triple-checked it.

It seems you only have one letter
of recommendation, from J.L. Hall.

Noah Shapiro declined to write
on your behalf.

Mr. Shapiro and I had
creative differences.

But if you look further down...

...you'll see I spent the summer interning
with Jeremiah Harris.

A fact which Mr. Harris
has not been able to confirm himself.

Oh. Did you call him early in the morning?

Because he's not a morning person.
He's not an afternoon person either.

- Lf you try like after...
- Mr. Humphrey.

If you want your application
to stand out...

...you need another letter,
one about your work.

Another letter from whom?

- And how?
- This is Yale.

If you haven't noticed, we traffic
in brick buildings full of professors.

I suggest you put on your walking shoes,
head to the English Department...

...and find someone to read your work.

I thought
we were gonna do something.

What happened to your master plan,
finding the Skull and Bones?

You don't find them, they find you.

Oh. That's good.
So we'll just sit here and wait.

I mean, there's a football game at 1...

...or a tour
of the university art gallery at 3.

Whoa.

Good luck sitting on your ass.

Hey, excuse me.
May I ask you a question?

- What the hell?
- Come on, get him.

Oh, my, the dean hasn't
laughed like that in years.

It was an utter delight to meet
you, Miss van der Woodsen.

- What a lovely surprise.
- And who doesn't like a surprise?

I do hope you enjoy
the rest of your visit.

Thank you so much.

- Looks like he's ready for you.
- Shall we, Miss Waldorf?

I've never been more prepared.

So whatever major you decide
on, you can mix up with electives.

- Yale's are better than most.
- Really? What's your favorite?

It's a tossup
between The Role of Sex in Art...

...and Great Hoaxes in Archaeology.

Those are seriously classes?

- What school are you from?
- St. Jude's, in New York.

St. Jude's?
Then you must know Nate Archibald.

- I heard he's on campus.
- Why does that sound familiar?

He's the son
of Howard "The Captain" Archibald.

We've been talking about him in Econ.
The guy's like a modern Milken.

Hey, Jordan,
wanna show me around campus?

- I'd love to see it.
- Sure.

But before I go anywhere
with a stranger...

...maybe you should tell me
your name.

Oh, my name, of course...

...is Dan.

- Dan Humphrey.
- All right.

Chuck Bass, heir to Bass Industries...

...champion of the legendary
Lost Weekend.

You've slept with more Maxim covers
than John Mayer.

And better, I might add.

If our intel's correct, you're our
prime candidate from next year's class.

But we don't take anything
on hearsay.

We need to know firsthand
if you're as good as your advertising.

Well, I come prepared.

How about a little private party
to kick things off?

What do you have in mind?

I have to say, your application
is most impressive, Miss Waldorf.

There's just one thing I'd like to know.

Tell me something about you
that isn't in that packet.

- Not in there?
- Do you like to drive racecars?

Can you cook authentic Sichuan?

The young lady before you
told me a delightful story.

She was recently in a fashion show,
just for fun.

I know I must seem rather traditional
compared to that young lady...

...but isn't tradition
what Yale is all about?

Well, yes, but we've been trying
to change that image.

Too stuffy.

So?

Well...

...I'm aware I lack some people's
easy grace with strangers...

...and I don't exactly make you feel
like you've known me forever...

...even though we just met.

When I laugh, you might not smile
just at the coquettish sound of it.

And I may not be spontaneous...

...or delightful or full of surprises...

...and my hair might not sparkle
when it catches the light...

Everything worth knowing about me
is in that folder.

I made sure of it.

Isn't there anything else
you'd like to ask me?

Maybe about what my plans are
for tonight?

There's so much to do on campus,
I'm sure you'll find something.

It was so nice to meet you.

Right.

Good luck, then.

Oh, God.

Great Hoaxes in Archaeology?
Is that even a class?

What are you doing, Serena?

Oh, these lovely people were just
showing me the course catalog.

No, here, Yale. Yale is mine.

While I'll admit I came to punish you
for the things you said...

Fine. Consider me punished.
You can go home now.

I actually like it here.

The campus is beautiful,
the people are so nice.

Do you know how great
the Drama School is?

Of course I do, it's world-renowned.

The dean made me realize
that by being so set on Brown...

...I closed myself off
to all other options.

While that's a lovely epiphany,
I'm afraid it's irrelevant.

It's not as if you'd actually get in here.

Hello?

An intimate gathering
at the dean's house tonight?

I'd be honored. Thank you.

You were invited to my gathering?

You might wanna make other plans.
She said I was her last call.

Of all the things...

Nate, my mom, the girls at school.

- You wouldn't take this from me.

Because if you do,
I swear I will take you down.

I'm not taking anything from you.
I was invited.

And as for taking me down,
I'd love to see you try.

When it comes to war,
the rule is, never retreat, never surrender.

But whoever said that
never met the new Serena.

Spotted: Little Jenny Humphrey...

...off her high horse
and in high demand.

Did you look at the resort samples?
Eleanor wants your opinion.

- I didn't, but I'll do that right now.
- Okay.

And we got in the chambray you
like. I need your advice on what to do.

I didn't realize it was
Bring Your Father to Work Day.

Well, it was Jenny's idea to show me
why this is so important to her.

- Do you have a moment?
- Just.

I gave Jenny my word about something
this morning that...

- I'm not sure if I can keep it. I need help.
- What can I do for you?

Fire her.

I'll do no such thing.

Fashion is a young person's career.
This is Jenny's moment.

She's only 15 years old.
Opportunity can wait till she's ready.

Do you remember the dreams you had
when you were 15, Mr. Humphrey?

What if they all started to come true?
Would you have told them to wait?

Just make sure they're up for anything.
This crowd could get particular.

You're not a geography whiz, but you
are aware Providence is in Rhode Island?

I don't have time.
I've been invited to the dean's.

- I have to get ready.
- The dean's house? Nice.

What's your answer to his question?

- "Yes"?
- No, no, no.

What person, real or imagined...

...living or dead, would you most like
to have dinner with?

The rumor is, if your answer
impresses the dean enough...

...it gets you on the shortlist
for early admission, or so says Blair.

I should've given my spot to her.

You got invited, and she didn't?
You're lucky to be alive.

Well, I won't be much longer
if I don't find an answer fast.

Steal Blair's.
She has no use for it anymore.

No. No, I can't,
no matter how good it is.

- George Sand.
- I did not wanna know that.

And how do you even know that?

Why does Blair wanna go to dinner
with some guy...?

A hot girl named George,
dressed like a man...

...and apparently
is the dean's favorite writer.

I know this because talking to Blair about
how she's going to Yale gets her really...

Chuck, no, you just told me two things
I never wanted to hear.

And one is gonna haunt me
for the rest of my life.

Okay.

Okay, before we go any further,
I have to know something.

And tell me the truth.

As a writer,
what do you think of M?rquez?

M?rquez.

- That's a tough one.
- Okay, you're right. It's too broad.

Let's just talk Cholera.

Ooh. Very painful.

No, I'm not kidding.

I tried to read it, couldn't get through it.
It's ridiculous.

You're funny.

And sweet.

Not like most writers I meet.

Hello?

- Hi, Jordan Steele?
- Do I know you?

No, I was told that you work
for the chair of the Lit. Department...

Yeah, can you come back later maybe?

I apologize for hunting you down,
but I'm desperate.

I need someone to read my work
and write a letter...

...and I was hoping you could help me.

- Nate?
- Help you what?

Is that...? That's Nate Archibald.
Don't say my name.

No, that's Dan Humphrey.

No... What?

- Nate Archibald.
- Dan Humphrey.

No, she was into me. Next thing I know,
she's throwing a book at my head.

Yeah, Faulkner, a first edition,
not that you'd know.

I do know you didn't have to mess it up
for me then.

Should I have watched you
screw up my chance...

...at a connection in the department
for pseudonymous sex?

- That's not...
- My future's not a joke.

- Just let me explain, okay?
- Look, Nate...

...I'm sure that your life is complicated,
with your family...

...and, I don't know, girls,
but you can't pretend to be me.

Maybe it's okay to use people
in your world.

You ever get tired of carrying that chip
on your shoulder?

No wonder Serena dumped you.

Hello, Shirley, I would like an invitation
to the reception at the dean's house.

- You're going to get me one.
- I'm sorry.

I'm not in charge
of the dean's private affairs.

I have it on good authority
that you are.

I need to get back in the good graces
of the dean.

Interviews are so stressful
for you students.

Check your e-mail.

Eighteenth century.

Do you know how rare a pair is?

I had someone at Christie's
put them on hold...

...just in case.

1100 Hillhouse Avenue.

Poor S.
She should know B's rules by now.

When someone leaves you off a list,
don't get mad, get in.

Thank you.

- Well?
- I'm impressed.

You're clearly valued here...

...and you handle yourself
very professionally.

Thank you.

But I think you should go back
to school.

But you just said you were impressed.

I don't...

- I don't understand.
- I'm sorry, sweetheart.

I just think school's too important.

Okay.

If that's what you think,
that's what you think.

We made a deal,
and I agreed to it, so...

I have to say,
I thought there'd be some yelling.

You said you'd give me a day,
and you did.

Can you at least take me to complete
one last errand before we go home?

- Sure.
- Thanks.

Oh, nice to meet you.

Trying to come up with an answer
for the dean's parlor game?

You manipulated your way in here?

I get what I want, Serena,
just like I'm gonna win tonight.

What's your answer?

No, let me guess: Lauren Conrad.

Try George Sand.

- Wait, that's...
- Your answer? Not anymore.

If you're gonna cheat your way in,
then why should I play fair?

And the dean asks his question
in alphabetical order.

So since V comes before W,
looks like the answer's all mine.

You gentlemen
wanted a Chuck Bass party.

Well, your party has arrived,
straight from...

I can't tell you where,
but they're the best money can buy.

Before you ask,
they don't speak English.

And they don't care.

By the way,
that's not one for each of you.

They do their best work in threes.

Not bad, Bass.

But you're not done.

The girls are all right,
but they're just girls.

You still need to prove your loyalty.

We want Nate Archibald.

We know you're tight with him.
We know he's on campus.

- Archibald's not worth your time.
- We think he is.

My family lost our compound
because of his father.

Pull him in, take him down.

You've got one hour.

You want in, you'll bring us Archibald.

Et toi?

Actually, it's "vous,"
as a sign of respect.

I'm sure that's why you don't know it
very well.

Blair Waldorf.

You were my father's favorite teacher.
I've been looking for you.

You inspired his expatriation to France.

I'd love for you to hear about it.
Shall we?

- Where have you been?
- I got tied up.

You wouldn't wanna leave tonight,
would you?

I think I'm completely done
with this place.

- You strike out?
- More like abruptly thrown out.

People know who I am,
know the stuff about my dad.

Plus there was this thing
with Dan Humphrey.

I'd love to say, "Tell me all about it,"
and mean it...

...but since I can't,
why don't we meet and get blazed?

Yeah, yeah, okay.

There's this place off campus
called Mike's Bar.

I'll meet you there.

- Stay put.
- Perfect.

It's done. Let's go.

Although I love Henry VIII,
I prefer Sir Thomas More.

It's great that Pope Benedict
canonized him when he did.

Thank you.
Don't you mean Pope Pius XI?

- Quite right, Miss...?
- Van der Woodsen.

- Van der Woodsen, is it?
- Hi.

Most people don't know their popes
in succession.

- May I borrow you for a minute?
- Excuse me.

How do you know that?
You slept through History last year.

I love The Tudors.
Henry Cavill is a total babe.

You look calm for someone
who no longer has the perfect answer...

...to the dean's question.

You don't think I came all the way here
without a backup answer, do you?

Oh, and it's a real crowd pleaser.
It's gonna kill.

Everyone, everyone.

It's time for my favorite part
of the evening...

...which has delightfully become known
over the years as Probatur.

That's Latin for "the quiz."

We will begin with Mr. Applebaum.

Oh, hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey! Hey!

And now on to Miss Steinberg.

Your answer is Artemis.

Artemis is the goddess of the forest
and the hills.

As a freegan, I believe in all living things
being equal to all people.

I'm so glad they did this alphabetically.

Now I get to see the look on your face
when I use your answer even sooner.

I can tell you right now,
the look will be of vindication.

And also screw the Man
at the same time.

Very nice, Miss Steinberg.

And now on to Miss van der Woodsen.

The person you would most like
to have dinner with...

...real or imagined, living or dead, is...

...Pete Fairman.

I do not know this person.
Who is Pete Fairman?

Um...

He...

- He's...
- He's the man she killed.

I cannot believe you did this.
- Why? It's not like you don't deserve it.

Miss van der Woodsen,
would you like to explain?

No, of course, Dean Berube.

Pete Fairman was a man that I knew.

- Man-slash-dealer.
- Miss Waldorf, let her speak.

He died almost two years ago,
when I was with him.

What happened was a tragedy,
and I am filled with regret over it...

...but I was not responsible.

Were you responsible for the sex tape?
It wasn't sexy, if you ask me.

That's enough, let's go.

Dean Berube, do you mind
if we sort this out privately, please?

- Take all the time you need.
- My answer was George Sand.

Love her. Idolize. Worship.

Get your hands off of me.
Are you trying to kill me too?

A guy died,
and you use it as part of a game?

It isn't a game. This isn't
another thing on a laundry list.

This is Yale, my dream.
You crossed a line.

And so did you,
when you brought up Pete.

As far as my being here,
you take that up with the school.

- You did not just do that.
- Why do you think you were invited?

You know you're not Yale material.

Could it be your face on Page Six?
Your name everywhere? Face it, Serena.

Yale needs to up their Q rating
like other schools.

They're gonna use girls like you
to do it.

- You shut up.
- You shut up.

- No.
- Blair...

- I hate the stupid headbands.
- My headband!

God.

I'm gonna eff you up.

No. You...

Ow! Ow!

You sure it's okay
for us to just come up like this?

Yeah, the maid's expecting me.
Larissa.

Whose maid is Larissa?
You didn't say where we were going.

- Jenny.
- Lily's not here.

I didn't think you'd mind.

- Rufus.
- Whoa.

Oh, um...

This is not my dress.
I was just trying it on for fun.

Sorry. Larissa said you were going out,
and I could leave this with her.

I forgot to include it in the garment bag
with your dress.

But clearly,
I don't even think you need it.

This dress looks so great on you.

The only thing wrong is the shoes.
I can pick you out a different pair.

- Oh, upstairs, third door on the left.
- Okay.

- How have you been?
- Fine.

- Sorry for the intrusion.
- Oh, it's no bother.

I'm always happy to see you.

- The house seems quiet.
- Well, Bart is out of town.

Serena and Charles are on college visits,
and Eric has a new friend, so I hear.

Well, the place looks amazing.
As do you.

- It's quite a dress.
- Of course it is.

Your daughter made it.

You're so lucky
to have a daughter that's this good...

...at what she wants to do
so early in her life.

It's a gift.

You had one too,
if I remember correctly.

Here, the perfect pair of Jimmy Choos.

I'll lend these to Serena
when she wears the dress.

- Okay.
- Jenny, we should get going.

- Okay. See you.
- Bye.

By the way...

...no matter what you wear,
you look fantastic.

Hey, man, where are you?

I've been sitting here forever.
Please, just call me back.

- Round of shots, Mike.
- Coming right up, guys.

We taught Nate Archibald
a lesson. He'll never come back to Yale.

Archibald is such a loser.

Excuse me.
Did you say Nate Archibald?

We just tied that chump
to the statue in the gazebo.

- It's priceless.
- I hope he freezes his ass.

Well, you got the wrong guy.
I'm Nate Archibald.

I look forward to coming here
next year and kicking your ass.

In fact, why wait?

- Okay, it can wait.
- Get him.

Come on.

Hey, excuse me. Excuse me, hi.
I know this is a strange request.

Could you untie me? Sir, hey.
Yeah, hey, come on. Hey, excuse me.

- Would you be so kind as to...
- Dan?

Hope you at least
bought the statue a drink first.

- I don't want you to help.
- You might if you knew...

...the reason you're here is
they thought you were me.

How is that even possible?
I didn't lie about my name.

Yeah, but I have a feeling
someone else did for you.

Why would anyone want to hurt
Mr. Perfect, Nate Archibald?

Apparently, my legacy at Yale involves
people hating my father's guts.

Turns out he killed
a lot of trust funds around here.

- By the way, this knot is ridiculous.
- Yeah, I know.

Could you try a little faster...

...because I see something approaching
that looks female.

I'm not entirely proud of
my choice of boxers.

You two again.

- Yeah.
- Hi.

Is this performance-art piece
your new plan to get my attention?

- Would it work if it was?
- Move over, my mom was in the Navy.

Oh, my God.

I can't do it anymore, Blair.

That's because you almost lost.
I had you pinned with that chicken wing.

- Don't deny it.
- I don't mean this. I mean, everything.

The wars, the betrayal...

...the watching out
for every possible land mine.

- It's exhausting.
- I'm sick of it too.

I'm sick of
always looking like Darth Vader...

...next to Sunshine Barbie.

Life's too short,
but you make it feel so long.

If that's how you really feel,
maybe we shouldn't be friends.

We were probably gonna
grow apart in college anyway...

...so might as well
just start now. Right?

Fine by me.

You live your life, I'll live mine.

- Sounds great.
- I agree.

From comrades to combat,
we thought we'd seen it all.

Serena and Blair calling a cease-fire.

After so much scorched earth,
can either side claim victory?

- You're gonna tell me the cat died?
- No, no, it's nothing bad.

When I was your age,
all I wanted was to be a musician.

My parents
didn't think it was a good idea.

It made for some uncomfortable years.

And last night I realized that...

...we don't have to do things that way.
- I don't understand.

Your dad asked me to bring over
all my stuff on homeschooling.

After Christmas, we can re-evaluate.
If everything works out, you apply to...

...Professional Children's School next.
- Like Vera Wang.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

- I won't let you down, I promise.
- I know you won't.

What are you doing here?
Making sure the dean knows...

...it's all my fault?
- No.

I came to tell him
that Yale is your dream...

...and you deserve to go here
more than I do.

- What are you doing here?
- Doing the same thing for you.

I was up all night thinking about...

...the first time we came here
when we were 9.

Your dad took us to
that Harvard-Yale game...

...and you tackled
Senator Schumer's daughter...

...for wearing a Harvard sweatshirt.
- I bet those grass stains never came out.

I don't want to not know you.

I can't not know you.

Maybe we just had that fight...

...because the reality
of being separated next year...

...is just too scary to think about.

So...

Wait here for me.

- We'll ride home together.
- Okay.

So you think you can
maybe help him out a bit?

Well, I can't promise anything...

...but I'm pretty sure I can get
someone in the department...

...to read these
and write you a recommendation.

Thank you.
My dream of going to Yale isn't dead.

It might be embarrassed and humiliated,
but not dead.

And I'm sorry about lying to you.

I just needed to be
someone else for a while.

Yeah, well, next time you're up here,
why don't you just be yourself?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

I would have liked you
whatever your name was.

- Bye, Dan.
- Bye.

You do Dan Humphrey
better than Dan Humphrey.

- That 1000-yard squint, can I steal that?
- Why, thank you.

Here he is.

Looks like someone messed up last night
and sent us after the wrong guy.

Maybe the wrong guy for you,
but the right guy for me.

- You'll pay for this when you get here.
- I'm not coming here next fall.

Those girls I brought to the party...

...they witnessed some incriminating
acts with their lipstick cameras.

You may be
the future leaders of America...

...but you're now
under the control of Chuck Bass.

I own you.

Keep it. I've got plenty.

- Missed you last night.
- Did you?

Or was it your plan all along
just to get me out of the way?

- What?
- I know what you did.

Be glad. Those guys
were coming for you. I saved your ass.

- You didn't have to send them after Dan.
- Two birds, one stone.

Since when do you care about
humdrum Humphrey, anyway?

He's nothing.

- He's less than nothing.
- I actually think he's pretty cool.

- We'll talk about this in the car.
- No, I think I'd rather take the train.

- The dean seemed inscrutable to you?
- I don't think he even blinked.

Since we're probably both gonna
end up at Hunter after what happened...

...I think
we ought to say a proper goodbye.

- Hello?
- Serena, it's Dean Berube.

- Oh, hello, sir.
- I just thought you should know...

...despite events
at last night's reception...

...I remain most impressed with you.

And come time for early acceptances
in December...

...I'd check that list
to see if your name was on it.

Okay, but what about Blair?

Well, like all the other students
with Blair's qualifications...

...she will learn her fate in the spring.

All right,
I'd like to issue a press release...

...that you came up
to visit our glorious campus.

I'm gonna have to call you back.

- I won't accept. I can't like this.
- What? No, you have to.

It doesn't matter how you got it or why.
It's an opportunity.

No, you're my best friend.
What's mine is yours.

You can't share this.

We'll find a way together.

Dreams. Everybody has them.

Some good, some bad.
Some you wish you could forget.

Sometimes,
you realize you've outgrown them.

Sometimes,
you feel like they're finally coming true.

And some of us just have nightmares.

But no matter what you dream,
when morning comes, reality intrudes...

...and the dream begins to slip away.

Dream a little dream of me.

XOXO, Gossip Girl.