Gossip Girl (2007–2012): Season 2, Episode 22 - Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes - full transcript

Gossip girl here--

Your one and only source

Into the scandalous lives of manhattan's elite.

i actually thought this time wueen finds herself

But you're just the same girl you always were.

It's stupid for you to want her to be anything other

Than she is. no, she just needs someone to believe in her.

Dan was denied financial aid at yale.

- i mean, - i could help

I think this is something i have to handle on my own.

- I'm gabriel. - gabriel and poppy were over.



And it's not like either one of us planned this.

This--this thing between us just happened,

And we couldn't stop it. would you like to join us?

I'd love to meet the people in serena's life.

Eventually, every queen finds herself

In unfamiliar territory outside the castle walls.

In blair waldorf's case-- the village.

N.y.u.? what was i thinking?

You know how i feel about ironic facial hair.

Well, you were thinking

"A," you're lucky to get into a school at all,

And "B," you're super lucky 'cause where you got in

Happens to be in the same city as your

Fantastic boyfrieate bubble burst



I've been coming down here for years,

And i'm gonna teach you everything you need to know--

The best latte, the best slice, the best pot dealer.

But first, the most important lesson of all--

How to ride the subway.

Nate, you're sweet...

But obviously, you've inhaled too much patchouli.

There's no way i'm going down there.

It's full of mole men and middle-class professionals.

Well, you have to learn.

How else are you gonna visit me at columbia?

Why do you think god gave us car service?

Our schools are at opposite poles of manhattan.

I mean, in traffic, it could take hours.

The subway's definitely the quickest way.

Please don't adds these stuff to me

Anything you want, dan.

You're graduating high school-- that's a big deal.

How about a trunk? trunks are great for storage.

Books--you're gonna have a lot of books at college.

Hey, jenny, maybe you need a trunk, too. any one you want.

Dad, what's with this newfound interest in antiquing?

Oh, i'm just stimulating the economy

By rewarding my fantastic kids,

And it so happens that the, uh, gallery was a great investment

It's listing for three times what i paid for.

You didn't get sold when the real estate bubble burst?

Well, it's not as much as i would've gotten

At the top of the market, but i'll be able

To send you both to school

and have a little breathing room to figure out what i want to do

Setting up cooking classes

I mean, even i'm getting tired of your waffles,

Not cool.I sometimes make chili.

It looks a little delicate for your hand.

Don't get any ideas

I'm just looking.

It's lily. one sec.

Check out what dad was looking at.

Rats go underground. not waldorfs.

Well, you can always borrow chuck's helicopter.

Kidding.

Chuck... what a waste of time that was.

You know, it's not a real relationship

If you can't hold hands.

Oh, but nate is good to me. good for me.

And he's learned a thing or two.

Hmm. so being a kept man does have its perks.

Yeah, but no man is worth suffering the indignity of mass transit.

How's the foreigner?

Blair, gabriel is from north carolina.

- That's in the united states. - not by choice.

Let me remind you of a little thing called the civil war.

Everything with gabriel is perfect.

No strings, no demands...

Except he is so focused on building his new company

That he can never commit to anything--

Dinner reservations, movies.

Sometimes, he'll get a text for a meeting,

And then, poof, he's gone.

Well, if it's casuald like you were saying

No strings... then what do you expect?

It's not like you're gonna marry the guy

I kind did marry him.

We got carried away. i talked to cyrus.It doesn't count

Let me get this straight.

He goads you into making the ultimate commitment,

Anoenow he can't stick it out through a whole dinner?

He didn't goad me. it was... romantic.

Gabriel is disappearing for a reason.

- We need to get to the bottom of it. - no, we don't.

Oh, come on! let's follow him tonight.

We can dress up, use code names.

Dorota is a great help with surveillance equipment.

Doesn't that sound at all fun?

No, not even a smidgen.

So what exactly are you guys doing tonight?

No.

Well, you suck more than usual today.

A little distracted.

Things with--

It's okay. you can say her name. blair.

I feel weird talking about her with you.

Nathaniel, she's your girlfriend.

If we want to be friends like we were,

It's just part of the deal.

so it's okay to just talk about her guy to guy

Like we used to?

Well, i was there for you last week, wasn't it?

Yeah, you were. i think next year's gonna be harder

Than i thought, you know? with me in morningside heights

And her all the way down in the village,

It's basically like we're in a long-distance relationship.

Well, it's too bad you don't have a place

In the middle like my room at the palace.

Just say a word, and she can crash with me.

That's not funny.

You're right. i'm sorry.

But, archibald, let's face it--

You won. i lost.

You have nothing to worry about with me.

I'm out of that game.

Well, i certainly don't have to worry

About your weak-ass jumper, do i?

And then my grandfather says,

"if it's menthol you want, it's menthol you're gonna get."

I didn't know your family was in the tobacco industry.

Yeah, they are.

But gabriel doesn't want anything to do with it.

They were grooming me to take over,

But i had to break out on my own and do something positive.

So i started researching new technologies

And found a company that wants to provide wireless access

To the developing world, so i've been backing them.

I mean, it sounds like such a good thing,

But to my family, it is betrayal.

oh, i'm sorry to hear that

Family is so important.

Oh, excuse me. oh, i asked the caterer

For a '99 brunello. this isn't a pta meeting.

Though nothing's as important as the right wine.

Look, i apologize. i'm hosting the co-op meeting tomorrow,

And it'll be an hour-long battle over lobby renovations,

Followed by cocktails and appetizers.

You're welcome to join us. keep serena company.

Oh, yes, please.

- I'd be honored. - hey, who's up for a movie?

Yeah. yes.

Do you know what? that sounds lovely, but...

I'm sorry, honey. i have some work to do.

So... this has been great, thank you very much.

But i'm afraid i have to go.

Gabriel, it's a movie.

You know, most of 'em are only, like, 80 minutes these days.

And you know that there's nothing else i'd rather do,

But i'm a little behind on reviewing the prospectus.

This is important to me.

Yeah, and you spending time with my family

- Is important to me. - my deal will be closed soon,

And then i'm all yours, i promise.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Let me get my coat.

Blair.

I see you're wearing your beret.

Who are we spying on tonight?

Serena's shady southerner.

Well, i can't say he does much for me, either.

But why the intrigue? don't tell me--

Not enough drama in domestic bliss with nate?

You know, when people step outside their relationship for a thrill

It's usually not alone and in the dark.

I happen to be worried about my best friend.

Serena said gabriel just disappears. poof!

Well, i'm gonna find out where he's poofing to.

And besides, it's good for couples to have different interests.

This feels eerily familiar.

Shut up!

Look.

Poppy?

And when a queen discovers her best maiden

Is with a dragon in disguise...

The only thing to do is pull up the drawbridge and trap him.

Metaphorly of course

You have to dump him!

We caught that redneck red-handed.

Well, b., obviously i'm not thrilled,

But i'm gonna get to the bottom of this on my own.

Now why can't you worry

About your own relationship problems for a change?

- What does that supposed to mean? - it was friday night,

And you were out spying on my boyfriend,

Instead of seeing a movie or something.

Why can't anybody see a movie around here?

I have to call you later.

Serena, there's something you should know.

Last night i was...

Spying on that boyfriend of serena's. phila

- Chuck and i saw him with poppy. - wait. chuck?

You were with chuck?

Yeah, we ran into each other outside the building.

It's not a big deal. you know that, right?

Yeah. of course. it's no big deal.

Good, because unlike some people we know... serena...

We have a relationship without secrets or lying.

Yeah, i know.

We're really lucky.

Good. ready to go have lunch? sure.

Are you sleeping with her?

No. no.

Not since i met you.

I told her that i just needed space

And time to think.

But the truth is,

I'd--i'd just like to never see her again.

You know, when i first came to new york,

I didn't know many people.

And all the investors in my company are her contacts.

And when she found out about us,

she threatened to pull them

So i told her that you and i were over.

If she found out the truth...

I could lose-- i could lose everything.

Do you hate me?

No, i don't hate you.

But i hate lying.

And you lied to me.

And you lied to poppy

despite everything she is still my friend

and I care about her

I didn't plan on falling love with you

Gabriel, you--you have to tell her about us.

I can't.

You know how jealous she is.

And i've spent two years developing this company.

It's--it's everything to me.

It's a chance to be free from my parents.

By tying yourself to poppy?

I've done the 2-girlfriend thing.

I can't do that again.

Listen, these contracts will be done in one week.

And after that, i promise you i will tell her everything.

Trust me. the money she'll make, it'll cushion the blow.

As long as it's not physical,

Then i...

I guess i can live with it.

But only for a week. i mean it.

Okay.

Believe me,

I only have eyes for one girl.

And she is the most exquisite thing i've ever seen.

So am i not supposed not to mention the outfit?

I'm a cater waiter now. where you been?

Just... working.

Okay. well, i was hoping to never speak about this,

But it might actually feel good to.

Oh, hey, there you guys are.

So have you told her about the ring yet?

ring? what ring?

We caught our dad eyeing one yesterday.

a ring ring?

Oh, my god. wait. this is good news, right?

Well, i mean, he--he looked. he didn't buy.

He chickened out. why?

maybe because jenny baeally told him

She'd never move in with the v.d.-dubs.

Okay, or he's worried about dan having slept

With his maybe stepsister. well, i hope that's not it,

'cause there's really zero chance

Of serena and i ever getting back together.

So you guys are okay with it.

Yeah, well, it'd be weird-- dad marrying lily.

Sharing bunk beds with chuck. yeah,

i mean, it would defenitely be wired.

But, i don't know, you should've seen dad yesterday.

I mean, he was practically skipping.

I don't think i've ever seen him this happy.

I don't think i've ever seen anyone that happy.

Then you should tell him you support him.

No, that's not-- that can't be right.

That's not what we dis-discussed. ??

-that's, uh... -dad?

Uh, no. no, no, no. no. though...

Maybe not today.

Let me get this straight.

gabriel is still popping poppy,

And you're okay with that?

No, no, this is too m.o.b.

Go put on the vena cava.

for the hundredth time,

He's not still sleeping with her.

And while it's not ideal,

He is gonna break up with her next week.

And what proof did he offer of that?

he doesn't need proof

Because i trust him.

We have this amazing connection.

Do you know he said he fell in love with me

The first time he ever saw me

Oh, that is interesting, considering the fact

That he was on vacation with his girlfriend.

Actually, the first time he saw me was a year ago

When i was out with georgina.

He busted me on my fake southern

and what was that night-

Don't tell me it was that night--

That night that you blacked out

And don't remember anything?

He fell in love with you while you were roofied.

How romantic.

no, no, no. it wasn't like that.

He said i was completely lucid.

It must've been before georgina drugged me.

I just don't happen to remember it.

Believe me, i had to learn the hard way.

Trust is the most important thing in relationship

and we have that

The way i trust nate and he trusts me?

Even though he may be going to school in guam next year

I wouldn't worry if i can't find him

Because i know he'll always be true to me.

I hope so, b.

Because, no offense, but we both know that

That hasn't always been the case.

What are you saying-- that nate is in love with you?

What are you saying-- that gabriel isn't?

No. i'm just saying he's not gonna break up with poppy.

Why would he? he's having her cake

and eating yours,too

So--so both nate and chuck are obsessed with you,

But my boyfriend can't stay faithful

to me for seven day

I love you.

I just don't want to see you get hurt, okay?

Go put that back on.

it was beautiful on you.

Oh, vanessa. i-i thought you left with dan and jenny.

I was just about to close up.

you--you can go home now.

Figure i'll savor my moments here while i can.

Gonna miss this place.

Yeah, well, it, uh, looks like your job will be safe

For quite a while. what do you mean?

The real estate agent hasn't received one call

About the place. she thinks it might be months

Before we find a buyer. it's the market.

That's why you were so upset earlier.

Is there a plan "b"?

Yeah, last year, after the tour,

A music publishing company offered to buy

The lincoln hawk catalog.

You're gonna sell your life's work?

Yes.

And, apparently, now that we're not touring,

It isn't even worth what it was last year.

You know, i stopped touring to spend time with my family.

It turns out it might've been the worst thing

I could've done for them.

I'm sorry. this isn't your burden.

Hey, let's get outta here.

Archibald, what are we doing here?

This place is great, but murray hill?

Even your mother's too hip for this zip code.

It's for me.

It's halfway between n.y.u. and columbia.

I just figured i'd lease this

So i could be close to blair next year.

Well, congratulations, but couldn't you

Have told me this over the phone?

you're my friehere all right

I brought you here as my friend

To show you i found a solution to my problem.

Okay, friend, i hope you'll be very happy here.

I just wanted to show you

That blair and i are really serious now.

You understand that, right?

She told you about our little run-in last night.

You told me you'd back off.

I did and will continue to do so

Last night was nothing.

We ran into each other on the street.

It was no big deal.

with you two, it's always a big deal.

We just have to be clear with each other.

I want you to know that blair and i are in a good place.

What place is that--

Some tacky apartment where you can keep your eye on her?

No, that's not the reason i got--

If you needed to mark your territory so badly, nathaniel,

Maybe you should just pee on her.

I don't want you to go near her again

I mean that

It's blair.

I think i'll take this one outside.

I thought if i proved the north caro-liar

Was cheating with his ex, that would be it,

But she fell for his business meeting excuse--

Monkey business, more likely.

With serena and poppy both fighting over the banana.

I'm really worried, chuck.

You know how serena is.

she gets in over her head.

We need to expose this two-timer for what he is.

So what do you say, bass?

one last mission?

Do you have poppy lifton's phone number?

Queen of hearts or queen of heartache?

Careful, b.,

Cut off the head of one love triangle,

what of your own mircoback in its place

And that concludes our co-op business at this time

And now for the real reason you came here for refreshments

you and I simply have not had time to found

we will walk

blair where are we going?

Of my house?

I've been here before.

First, we'll start with serena's room.

While i appreciate you playing the peacemaker, chuck,

I'm not sure serena will want to see me.

Trust me, this should be exciting for everyone.

And this is serena's dresser

Where she keeps all her pajamas and peignoirs.

But maybe you've already been in there.

blair, what are you doing?

Poppy. gabriel.

Nice. i knew it.

Poppy, i know. we--we need to talk.

what do you want to talk about?

The fact that you stole my boyfriend?

i didn't steal him. you left

You know what? don't.

Cause it's not even you that i'm mad at. it's him.

You are a lying, cheating-- i am gonna kill you!

No one's killing anyone. it's a co-op cocktail party.

What an idiot i am!

Using my connections for your company?

Poppy, it is not like that.

You know it's not.

Then leave with me right now.

And if you don't, i will call every investor

And tell them to take their money back.

Poppy, you and i are done.

Things haven't been good with us for a long time.

And i'm sorry.

Serena didn't steal me.

She swept me away.

You tell your investors whatever you want.

Fine.

I'll tell them the truth.

That you're ruined.

Good-bye, Gabriel

Gabriel...

I'm sorry. I just... need a minute to clear my head.

I guess he really likes you.

- At least now we know. - I'll deal with you later.

Hello.

Since when did my apartment

Become your watering hole of choice?

Rufus and Jenny let me in on their way out.

I thought I'd wait for you,

Maybe play a little "I never."

I-I kind of already started.

Yeah, I can see that.

- I'll go first. - All right.

I never slept with Chuck Bass.

That's why I've been avoiding you.

I know. It's repulsive.

It is...

Completely repulsive, but you didn't--

But you--you--you--you've been going through a lot lately.

I mean, the whole Blair-Nate reunion and all and--

Plus the whole "looking up while looking down" thing

Really had a certain appeal to it.

So you--you get no judgment from me.

Everyone makes a mistake at least once.

I never... nearly slept with Georgina Sparks.

I never slept with Chuck Bass twice.

Dan, you're lucky.

However bad your life sucks right now,

You didn't need an std panel this week.

Oh. yeah, there's that.

Wait, why does my life suck right now?

So you going to Lily's now?

Yeah, the co-op meeting should be done by now.

There's a party after. You should come.

No offense. That sounds really boring,

Especially with Eric being out of town.

So, uh...

You kinda haven't been yourself tonight.

All day, actually.

I mean, is everything all right?

I'm just a little tired, but I'm fine.

You're not.

And I know why.

Jenny, whatever you think you know--

I know that you want to propose to Lily.

And I want you to know that

Dan and I are totallad okay with it.

But you have to let me make the bridesmaid dresses, okay?

I think those bridesmaid dresses are a bit premature.

Why? Dan saw you looking at that ring yesterday.

It's not a good time. There are some, uh,

Complicated things happening right now.

Well, whatever they are, you can fix them.

You just have to want it bad enough.

Dad, my whole life, you said that I could do anything

If I was willing to risk falling flat on my face.

So why doesn't that same advice apply to you?

- Right? - Good point.

And you know I'm right.

I gotta go.

So I'm really glad you chose me over money.

I never really had a choice.

I'm just glad everything's in the open.

I'll go back to North Carolina and work with my father.

Maybe he'll let me design a public service campaign.

Oh. I'm sorry. I know how hard you've been working.

Well, you shouldn't be.

I 100% brought this on myself.

I could have really made a difference with this company.

And I have to admit,

I wanted to rub that money in my father's face.

It was that good of a deal, huh?

Poppy's investors would have tripled their money

By the end of summer.

Well, then you have to still do it.

Come on, without you,

How else will all of the African teenagers

Send in posts to "gossip girl"?

Poppy was serious about calling off her investors.

Well, then find new ones. look around. these are residents

Of one of the wealthiest co-ops in manhattan, and smartest.

Our board rejected Bernie Madoff five years in a row.

I thought we found out today

Was a mistake-- mixing business and pleasure.

Please. I would be so proud to help you.

- Really? You sure? - Yes, of course.

- Let me go find my mom. - Okay.

Gabriel.

The martinis are great, right?

So I heard you, uh, first met Serena

On one of her infamous nights with Georgina.

You know, I've always wanted to know what happened.

It must be quite a story.

Oh, Nate, what are you doing here?

I thought there was a mets game.

I saw dorota wearing a hat.

Yeah, I can just catch the highlights on "sportscenter."

I wanted to surprise you.

- Are Chuck and Serena here? - Somewhere.

I can't believe I let him talk me into

Operation gone with the weasel.

It's a long story and unimportant.

What matters is how glad I am you surprised me.

Good. I'm not done.

I know you're nervous about us being far apart next year,

So I got something.

- It's a 1-bedroom in Murray Hill. - Oh, my god.

Will you move in with me?

- Yes. - Yeah?

Yes, of course I will.

You're moving in?

Yes, she is. I'm taking her there now, actually.

Well, before you birds fly off to your love nest,

There's something you should know.

Gabriel says he met Serena the night before the s.a.t.s.

He said they were at butter.

No, that's impossible.

I know. We should go tell Serena.

No, no, no. Chuck can handle this by himself.

Why don't we go see our apartment?

Sometimes a queen has to make a choice--

A castle with a white knight or a quest with a dark prince.

So, b., what'll it be--

Netflix night with Nate or battling a beast with Bass?

The governments, the i.s.p.s

And the big companies need to use these satellites.

We could be the only game in town.

And it has a charitable component, too--

Free wireless access for all local schools nd community groups.

Well, this is just the sort of thing

That some of us at Bass have been pushing for.

Doing well by doing good.

Yes. but the only thing is there's a ticking clock.

Some of the major internet corporations

Are pushing to do a similar thing.

If we act now, we block them completely

And we make at least triple our investment.

Ok, Gabriel, why don't you send a prospectus to my assistant?

Of course I have to look at it,

But, um, you can tell your backers I'm in.

You were great! Now all you have to do is

Tell the rest of the co-op members that she invested,

And with my mom's approval, you are golden.

Serena, I need to see you in your room.

Another tour?

He's lying to you.

Seriously, you two, enough.

He told Chuck that he met you at Butter,

But I know for a fact that butter was closed that night

Because I used their bartender

For the Nelly Yuki s.a.t. sabotage party.

Not that I need to explain this to either of you,

But I was with Georgina that night,

And she knows the manager,

So it was probably a private party.

Or he just misremembered.

Well, Chuck also saw him making a secretive phone call.

Oh, wow. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

The smoking gun-- a secretive phone call.

Blair, I support you in all of your crazy choices, case in point.

Why can't you show me the same respect?

Gabriel is a good guy. He's trustworthy.

Even my mom trusts him,

Or she wouldn't have invested in his project just now.

Just face it, you two.

You're using this as an excuse to get together again.

I'm going back to my boyfriend now.

If you know what's good for you, you'll go back to yours.

Butter? Really?

It does sound kinda stupid when you say it out loud.

There's only one person who knows what really happened

That night Gabriel supposedly met Serena.

Wow. I'm not going to Yale.

I'm so sorry I let it out like that.

But maybe this way it'll be a little easier on Rufus.

Having to tell you would have killed him.

- Yeah, I know. - You don't blame him, do you?

I-I blame the financial aid office

And... the recession

And...

A certain imbecile former president.

My dad has gotta be the only person in the world

Who's more upset about this news than me.

He was so excited about...

Selling the gallery and moving on.

Do you think he'll still propose?

He's got a lot of pride.

I'll write you a check right now.

- I look forward to working with you, Gabriel. - Absolutely.

Gabriel, can I speak to you for a moment?

Yeah, of course. Excuse me.

I'd like to invest as well.

And as much as I appreciate your support,

There are other investments

Better suited for someone in your situation--

Municipal bonds, mutual funds.

I'd be happy to show you how to set something--

I know how to open a mutual fund.

I don't appreciate being peicialnized

Oh, no, no, that wasn't my intention. I apologize.

My money is just as good as anyone else

It's how the game works, isn't it?

Opportunity arises in the private rooms of restaurants

And on exclusive golf courses, and the rich get richer

And the guys in the middle are never there.

Well, i'm right here. i want in.

I need to see the apartment tomorrow.

- There's something i have to do now. - with chuck?

Serena didn't believe us.

You mean she didn't just dump her boyfriend

'Cause you two told her to?

What's wrong with her

No, i'm not going. neither should you.

- I mean, it's just chuck playing games. - i don't think it is,

And if you don't want to come with us,

Then please, just let me go. i need you to trust me.

The limo's waiting.

You're right.

I need to trust you, and i do, so...

Go.

You should call eleanor. we won't be back tonight.

Wait. what? i thought she was back home in connecticut.

You thought wrong. yes. hello.

What time are your visiting hours?

We're coming to see georgina sparks.

Get out your brooms, kids.

We're off to see

The wicked witch of the east side.

Mr. bass?

Visiting hours have started.

I can't believe i have to see my sworn enemy

With nancy pelosi hair.

Now that you mention it,

Maybe it's best if i go in alone.

What?

You just said it. you're enemies.

- Why would she help you? - because i'm gonna threaten

To send her back to boot camp if she doesn't.

Blair, georgina and i go way back.

We have a special bond.

I'll handle this one.

You didn't even need me here.

You just wanted to get me alone,

Away from nate,

Away from our first night in our apartment.

And his motives were pure, of course.

I'm sure it's a simple coincidence

That he asked you to move in right when you and i

Began speaking again.

He asked me so i wouldn't have to take the subway next year.

That's maybe why he got the lease on the place.

But asking you to move in was for my benefit.

Ask him yourself. or you could just trust him.

Still, the fact remains--

You chose to spend a night in a car with me

Over a night in your honeymoon suite with nate.

I guess we all knew your weakness for limos.

I came here for my best friend.

Is that the only reason?

What is this place?

Welcome. are you a wayward soul in serching of direction?

- I think i'm in the wrong place. - chuck bass?

Have you been saved, too?

Blair was so wrong about you.

What do you mean?

I didn't want to make you feel bad,

But she and chuck have this weird vendetta against you--

Some nonsense about butter being closed that night.

That's ridiculous.

If she would have heard

"savannah's" terrible southern accent that night...

She'd have a vendetta against you instead of me.

So--so what'd you think of georgina anyway?

She didn't make that much of impression.

Not even her hair?

That flaming red?

I mean...

I swear her colorist is masochistic.

I mean, of course i remember that.

But who cares?

If you'd met you that night,

You'd forget everything else, too.

I should, uh,

I should go home before my mom wakes up.

It's a 7-day session all about forgiveness,

And at the end of it, we put on a passion play.

You're more than welcome to come with me.

I have to supervise the kids

making paper mashall puzzles for the set.

It's, brilliant.

Oh, it's not that hard. it's just sd flour and paste.

Getting these jesus freaks to believe you're one of them

So you don't have to go back to boot camp?

Still the same old chuck.

Why can't you believe that people can change?

Oh, people can change, but you?

You're wrong, chuck.

You know, as--as bad as boot camp was,

It really gave me time to think

about the person I'd become.

Scheming, manipulative.

It sickened me.

So one day i decided to do something about it.

I went to church, found jesus

And i told him all my sins. well,

I bet that was a long talk.

He forgave me.

Look, i know it seems crazy,

But for the first time in my life,

I'm--i'm happy.

But if i know chuck bass, you're not here to be reformed.

I came to ask if you know a man named gabriel edwards.

I don't think so. why?

He claims he met you at butter

that night you feign serena.

Ooh. yeah, i've been praying overtime for that one.

But... that's impossible.

We never went to butter.

We were back in my hotel by midnight, watching "the hills"

As serena drooled on my shoulder.

- Did you forget something? - yes!

To thank you for your amazing performance last night.

I think we're a good team.

You and blair were right about gabriel.

He's lying about meeting me that night. i-i don't know why.

Yeah, i know. look, hang tight.

- Blair and i will be there as soon as we can. - okay.

Actually...

Since my limo's gone, that might be a while.

And eventually a queen realizes

That a dark prince only has one thing on his mind,

And it ain't slaying dragons.

So she takes her pumpkin carriage

And goes back to the castle.

With all these investments from the party,

We should have everything we need by the end of the month.

You know i thought we were screwed when chuck bass called me,

But you found a way to make it work,

And when you chose being poor and being with serena...

She left me a message.

She's awfully needy, i't she

Hey, gabriel. it's me.

Listen i'm coming back to your hotel. we have to talk.

Don't go anywhere. i'll see you soon.

She sounds nervous.

Yeah, she does.

Well, why would she be? did something happen?

No, it's more like something that didn't happen--

You doing your research properly.

She told me this morning that butter was closed

The night that i allegedly

And what the hell is butter?

We gotta get out of here, fast.

Just don't answer it.

Okay, it's--it's fine. i can handle this.

Rufus.

I, uh, just wanted to bring you my check in person.

I made a mistake.

I shouldn't have gone with chuck.

Oh, it's okay.

I'm just glad you came back.

Well, come in. let me show you around.

You know...

I loathe murray hill.

Why did you get this apartment?

I got it so we wouldn't be so far apart next year.

And is that also why you asked me to move in with you?

Blair.knowing you and chuck were hanging out made me jealous.

You said that you trusted me,

But you really don't, do you?

Blair...

I'm so sorry.

I love you.

So take your coat off and stay. please.

- It's serena. - ooh! say hi for me.

I have so much love in my heart for that girl.

- Did you find him? - no, i'm too late.

What do you mean, you're too late?

I mean the drawers and closets are empty.

- He's gone. - what do you mean, gone?

I have to call you back.

He can't be gone. i need to talk to him.

I gave him half a million dollars.

Hey, dan.

Oh. oh, coffee. thank you, dad.

If you're here to deliver the bad news, it's okay.

I already know about yale. actually, that's, uh--

I don't know i was--was so set on going there anyway.

I mean, it's basically a big version of st. jude's.

We all know how well i fit in there. well, dan--

I got accepted into a lot of other great schools,

A couple--a couple of great schools.

N.y.u.--they offer financial aid. i can always live at home.

Or at our new home.

- New home? - yeah, we, uh, we got you a little somethin'.

We pooled our savings.

Fortunately, your tastes are very modest.

This is an amazing gesture.

Well, we want you to be happy, dad.

And whatever you and lily means for us,

I mean, you know, we'll--we'll figure

You kids have explanation.

But i insist on, uh, writing you a check,

Cause there are certain things a man has to do on his own.

Oh, thank god. thank god. yeah, we

were hoping that you will say that.

The reason i came here was not to deliver bad news but good,

And if things work out the way i hope they will,

Yale will be happening

Load a lot of other good stuff for this family.

What happened to your limo?

Arthur won't answer his phone,

But i'm guessing blair took it.

Blair? you came here with blair?

You know what?

It's actually my day off, and i really miss the city.

Oh, dear queen, heed the words of a king--

Look like an angel, talk like an angel,

But the devil in disguise.