Good Times (1974–1979): Season 5, Episode 7 - Wheels - full transcript
JJ and three friends buy Bookman's 1954 DeSoto.
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Any time You meet a payment ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Any time You need a friend ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Any time You're
out from under ♪
♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Easy credit Ripoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Scratchin' And survivin' ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Hangin' In a chow line ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Ain't we lucky We got 'em ♪
♪ Good times ♪
Michael, what you doing?
Missed him!
See that fly over there, Thelma?
He's about to
buzz his last buzz.
Oh, Michael! Wait, now.
Don't kill him.
If there's such a
thing as reincarnation,
that might be somebody we know.
Thelma, who do we know
that can walk upside
down on the ceiling?
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
Hey! What's happenin', Poppo!
How ya doin', Head.
What's happening, Cool Breeze.
Float like a butterfly,
stings like a bee.
We comes to see J.J.
Where is he?
You know, that's
pretty good, Head.
Howard Cosell, right?
Howard Cosell? What...?
You got it.
[MIMICKING COSELL]
For the record,
I would like to state
that I have perambulated
to the Evans abode
for the sole, express purpose
of our monthly confabulation
with the eminent Brother J.
Well... right now,
J.J.'s still at work,
but he'll be here in a minute,
so you know,
just... cop a squat.
Relax, you know.
That ain't like brother J
to be late for one
of our sessions, now.
Man, I split from
work an hour early.
I even left a customer waiting.
What you mean, a customer, man?
You work at Ferguson's
funeral home.
You should have
put him in layaway.
Ooh! Thelma, Thelma, Thelma!
Ooh!
Girl, where you
been hiding yourself?
You got to be the foxiest
chick there ever was.
Just say the word,
and I'm yours forever.
No.
That ain't the
word I had in mind.
Hey! What's happenin'!
Hey, what's happenin'! J.J.!
What's happenin'!
Put 'er there!
You got it! You got it!
Now we can get it
on with the roll call!
Dig it!
[IN UNISON] One! Two!
You know what to do!
♪ Down at the Bijou
He can be found ♪
♪ We call him Head
For his brain of renown ♪
♪ Sees all the movies
Whatever plays ♪
Two times nightly and matinees.
♪ Well, Poppo's charm
Is famous, y'hear ♪
♪ He comes on strong
When the ladies are near ♪
♪ Now he's got class
And he's got clout ♪
Come on, Mama,
we're steppin' out.
♪ Well, one of
Ferguson's Employees ♪
♪ Is this here dude
We call Cool Breeze ♪
♪ And with his
clients He has a ball ♪
'Cause in the
end, I dig them all!
♪ Now, this man here
Is the ebony prince ♪
♪ Ain't no one like
him Before or since ♪
♪ No one's smooth As Brother J ♪
Well, you know,
just what can I say?
♪ United we stand
Divided we fall ♪
♪ We're tighter than
pantyhose Two sizes small ♪
J.J.! Cool Breeze!
Poppo! Head!
♪ We're the Awesome
Foursome Until we are dead! ♪
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
Hey! Yeah, man! All right!
BOOKMAN: What took you so long?
Now he's out there doin' it.
Lookie, lookie, lookie.
Here is Bookie.
Well, if it ain't
the Dirty Dozen,
minus eight.
Hey, Bookman. What do we owe
the displeasure
of this visit to?
Well, your sister reported
some trouble with the stove.
And I rushed
right over to fix it.
Rushed over? I called
you six weeks ago.
Thelma, you know Bookman
is a very slow rusher.
Well, since you
rushed, go fix it!
Thelma! Thelma,
baby, wait a minute.
Girl, I can't live without you.
Oh. Now, Poppo,
check this out, now.
Why don't you meet me in
the park, huh? Ten o'clock.
Ooh!
You know, near the
statue of, uh, Jimmy Carter.
Oh! All right!
Ah, 10:00 in the park...
near the statue of Jimmy Ca...
Wait a minute, baby!
There ain't no statue of
Jimmy Carter in the park!
Well, when they put
one in, I'll meet you there.
[NASAL LAUGHTER]
MICHAEL: I'll see you all later.
All right, Michael. Hey, y'all,
what we gonna do tonight?
We got to do something.
Ah, man. I don't know.
Uh, what do you wanna do?
I don't know, man.
What you wanna do?
Come on, man. We've
been getting together
every month for
the last 12 years,
and we never know
what we gonna do.
Why don't we go
where some ladies are.
Maybe we can get lucky tonight.
Poppo, you couldn't get
lucky in a girls' seminary.
Did someone say cemetery?
Poppo couldn't get
lucky there, either.
Man, if we had wheels,
we could go anywhere.
Oh, now. Come on, Breeze.
Where are we gonna find wheels?
I could borrow the hearse.
Hey, look here, man.
Last time we
borrowed the hearse,
we got followed by 20 cars.
And had a police escort.
I got a car I might
be talked into selling.
That piece of junk?
That piece of junk
happens to be a classic.
It even has a bucket seat.
Bookman, anything you
sit in has a bucket seat.
What kind of car you got?
A 1954 pink and gray DeSoto.
1954?
Man, that car's
older than we are.
Bookman, let's get down
to the nitty and the gritty.
How much you want for that car?
Fifteen hundred dollars.
Fifteen hundred dollars?
Look here, Bookman.
I know I'm making a
couple of dollars now,
but that's a little
bit out of my league.
I've got 50 dollars.
Fifty dollars? Man,
I can match 50.
Me, too, man.
Well, 50 times four. That's...
200 dollars, Bookman.
Two hundred dollars?
You expect me to
accept that measly sum
for my little pink
and gray beauty?
Two hundred dollars!
Man, that's an insult!
Look here, Bookman.
Two hundred dollars is
all we can come up with.
It's a deal! All right!
[CHEERING]
Bought a car. Bought a car.
Hey, hey, hey.
What's going on in here?
Mr. Miguel,
you're looking at the
proud new owners
of a 1954 DeSoto.
Wanna run that by me again?
The boys here
just bought my car.
You bought a used
car from this man?
Hey, y'all.
Hi, Willona. Hi, Willona.
J.J., be a dear, and ask Thelma
to keep an eye on Penny.
I have to go downtown.
Willona, how would you
like a ride downtown?
Ooh, honey, I'd love it.
How you plan on
carrying me? Piggyback?
Or do you know
somebody with a car?
[IN UNISON] I do!
Willona, these four turkeys
just bought Bookman's old car.
You bought a used
car from this man?
Booga, I wanna talk to you.
Excuse me, honey. You too, J.J.
Hey, y'all. Let's go downstairs
and check out what's
under that hood.
Okay, lowlife, now what...?
A deal's a deal, Ms. Woods.
That's right.
Me and Bookman
shook on that thing.
And I'm gonna sign
the check out right now.
So look out. Let me see.
Check number 274.
Paid to the order of Nathan
"Buffalo Butt" Bookman.
Two hundred big greenies.
There you go. All right, then.
Oh, no, you don't!
It's a fair price.
Fair?
You call that fair?
For that gas guzzling,
pink-and-gray dinosaur?
Get out of my face!
J.J., honey, I know
you want a car,
but think about
the responsibility:
gas, upkeep, repairs...
Willona, we're gonna split
the expenses four ways.
Four guys own a car?
You're lookin' for trouble.
Willona, we're the
Awesome Foursome.
Can't nothin' split us up.
You're being taken
advantage of, J.J.
A junk dealer
wouldn't give Bookman
no more than 25 clams!
25 clams? Mm-hm.
Hey, Bookman.
What do you say if I give you
a hundred potatoes for that car?
You done already gave me
two hundred smackeroonies.
I mean, a deal is a deal.
Uh, keys, please.
Well, you're
stuck with that car.
But there ain't no
way I'm gonna let you
drive that ancient chariot
around town without insurance.
Now, either you prove to me
that you are a responsible driver,
or I will have to
confiscate the car
in the name of my
best friend, your mama.
Wait a minute, Ms.
Woods. Don't worry.
It just so happens,
my brother-in-law happens
to be an insurance salesman.
I'd be glad to take the
fellas over, personally.
I'm sure you would.
J.J.,
man, you know, you
should've checked that car out.
It's a pure lemon.
Well, it's your lemon
now. A deal's a deal.
Yeah, J.J. gave
him big greenies,
but Willona said a junk dealer
wouldn't give him clams.
So J.J. offered him potatoes.
But it was too late.
Bookman already
had the smackeroonies.
Well, fellas, we've
got ourselves a car!
All right.
♪ United we stand
Divided we fall ♪
♪ We're tighter than
pantyhose Two sizes small ♪
J.J.! Cool Breeze!
Poppo! Head!
♪ We're the Awesome
Foursome Until we are dead ♪
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
Well, gentlemen,
let's get down to business.
First we'll need
some information.
Which one of you
will be driving the car?
[IN UNISON] I will!
Oh, I didn't realize.
Are any of you under 25?
I am!
All under 25.
That's too bad.
That means your
insurance policy will be high.
What kind of car
will you be driving?
A classic, my man. A classic.
A 1954 pink-and-gray DeSoto.
You bought a used
car from this man?
[CACKLES]
On your insurance cost,
property damage,
personal liability,
I can give you a
ballpark figure of about
one thousand dollars.
One thousand dollars?!
Look here, my man.
You got a ballpark a
little smaller than that?
Look, Harry, I promised the
boys you'd do all right by 'em.
That's what you promised
my sister 20 years ago
when you married her.
And she's still waiting.
I'd like to help you fellas,
but one of the reasons
you'd be paying so much
is because you
live in the ghetto.
Mr. Taylor, you mean
rich people pay less?
That's not fair.
Sorry, I don't make the rules.
See, he don't make the rules.
I don't need your help!
Look here. A thousand dollars.
That's five times more
than we paid for the car.
Oh, no problem.
You can pay it off in 12
monthly installments of...
83 dollars and 34 cents.
Now, you can afford
that split four ways, huh?
Yeah, I guess.
We can handle that, right?
POPPO: That's cool.
HEAD: We got that.
Well then,
you are now insured
by Lucky Motoring:
the insurance company for those
who are not quite good
enough to be in good hands.
Well, if you'll excuse
me, I'll go draw this up.
Nathan, stay the
hell out of my chair!
J, lay those keys on me, man.
What for?
I'm gonna show off my wheels.
You can show off the
wheels, but I get the car tonight.
I got a heavy date,
dig? J, the keys, please.
Hey, Head, where does
it say you get the car?
I get the car 'cause
I put up the first 50.
If you don't like
it... Hey, man...
Hold on, man. Hold on here!
Take it easy! Take it easy!
I knew something like this
was gonna to come up, so...
that's how come I made
up a little schedule, see?
So I am the man, here,
with the plan. Heh-heh!
Now, here...
Now, there's four of us, right?
Seven days in a week.
Which figures out exactly
to a day and
three-quarters each.
Which is 42 hours.
Well, who gets the car first?
I do. You do?
Yeah! It's right here
on the schedule, see?
He's right. Yeah, yeah!
No wonder you get
it. You made it up.
I want the car first.
I got five women waiting for me.
I got six!
[QUARRELING]
Hey, hey, man!
Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
My brother here don't like
all this noise in his office.
You see how testy he can get.
Yeah. How come you
two don't get along?
Well, way back when
we were struggling,
Harry and I bought
a car together.
And all this car did was
get us into fights, man.
I mean, the car
was one big jinx.
Who ended up with the car?
You did. You just bought it.
Say what?
Mwah!
It'll cost you
three to stay, J.J.
Well, Thelma's cookies
are good for something.
They make great poker chips.
They're unbreakable.
Well, Poppo, my
man, it's up to you.
In or out?
Poppo!
Oh, man, I'm sorry.
I can't seem to concentrate.
I'm worried about Breeze.
You mean you're worried about
that car. That's what you mean.
You calling me a liar?
Man, you take that back,
Head, or step outside
right now, chump.
I'm calling you a liar
and your little
sister a liar, chump!
Take it easy! Hold on here!
Hold on! Sit down,
here! Sit down, here!
Alleviate yourselves.
Oh, man. Just 'cause
Breeze is three hours late,
and he's cutting
into my 42 hours,
that ain't no reason
to get excited.
Where is he!?
Hey, you guys,
I thought we were playing cards.
I'm in. I'm in.
I'm bettin' all my
cookies. All right.
Heh-heh-heh!
Well, little lady,
I think you made
a mistake this time.
Two pairs.
Kings and queens.
Beats me. I'm out.
I got two pairs too, J.J.
Fours... Fours? Ha!
And fours.
Hm. Four times four is 16.
Well, thanks for the game,
guys. I really appreciate it.
It's really fun.
Yeah, mm-hm, yeah.
You know, I really
like you guys,
'cause you're so easy to beat.
Ah, let's get you out of here.
POPPO: It was fun. HEAD:
Yeah, anytime, Penny.
Now we're gonna change your name
to Penny the Greek.
[MIMICS MAE WEST]
Well, so long, suckers.
Come on, now, don't
worry about the Breeze.
He probably just had
a flat or something.
Oh, man, I hope not.
The spare's got
a hole in it too.
That don't make no difference.
There ain't no jack.
Hey, bloods, sorry I'm late.
Had to fill the tank with gas.
You guys owe me
two bucks apiece.
Uh-uh. Why should
we pay for your gas?
One for all, and all for one.
Okay. If that's the
way you want it,
then cough up your share
for this here parking ticket.
Get that out of my face!
Hey, man, take it
easy! Relax, you guys!
♪ United we stand
Divided we fall ♪
Ah, shut up!
I'd ask you for your
share of the quarter
I just put in the parking
meter, only I'm not cheap.
Cheap?
Who you calling cheap, chump?
How'd you like to
become a customer
down at Ferguson's? Come on!
[ARGUING INDISTINCTLY]
Take it easy! Take it easy, man.
♪ We're tighter than
pantyhose Two sizes small ♪
Who needs you?
Hey, Breeze!
Come on back here!
Man, let him go. Let
him go. Who needs him?
It's your fault, J.J.
My fault?
Sure. Big time art director,
you just had to buy that car.
Now the Foursome is no moresome!
Look here, man. You messed
up the schedule by needing the car
to go to your
grandmother's funeral.
Two days in a row!
Yeah, yeah.
How come we went for that?
It's your fault!
You better be cool!
You're the one who
lost the hubcaps!
So I don't want to hear
nothing. Hubcaps! Hubcaps!
I've had it up to here
with this chicken outfit.
Get on, gizzard!
Ah, boy. I never
thought I'd see the day
when the Awesome Foursome
gets down to the
Gruesome Twosome.
And it's your fault, J.J.!
Hasta la vista!
Pssh.
Now the Awesome Foursome is
down to the Lonesome Mesome.
THELMA: Hey, Michael,
you think J.J. is gonna let
me borrow the car tonight?
Yeah, as soon as the bionic
dog marries Morris the cat.
I didn't think he'd
lend it to me, either.
Hi, J.J.! Ha, ha!
Uh, how was work today?
Did the boys call?
Uh, not since I was here.
Nah, sorry J.J.
Uh, J.J., are you gonna
use the car tonight?
No, Thelma. [GIGGLES]
Well, uh, you think
I could borrow it?
Sure, Thelma. Here are the keys.
All right!
I guess the bionic
dog is in trouble.
Wait up, Thelma! I'm going!
Drop me off at the gym.
Yeah, okay. Hurry, before
he changes his mind.
Hey, Willona, J.J.
let me borrow the car!
Whoo!
You're letting Thelma
borrow the car?
Honey, I know
you don't feel good.
Willona, I never had so
many troubles in all my life.
I don't know about
that car, Willona.
I don't know whether to take it
to an auto-mechanic or a priest.
J.J., it can't be all that bad.
I guess you're right, Willona.
What can you say about a car
that gets a half a
mile to the gallon?
I did drive it down to the
supermarket and back, though,
and it only stalled four times.
Well, look. That's
not too bad. I mean,
considering the supermarket
is a good two blocks away.
[LAUGHS]
Yeah, and then there
was that little accident
I had yesterday.
Report it to the
insurance company?
Yeah, but that was a mistake.
They cancelled the policy.
Oh, that's terrible.
J.J., Thelma's driving
the car with no insurance?
It's all right, Willona.
The battery's dead.
Oh!
Boy, you know, Willona,
I used to have
friends and no car.
Now I got a car and no friends.
You mean the guys
still aren't talkin'?
Willona, I never
knew a '54 DeSoto
could bust up a friendship.
No wonder they
stopped making 'em.
Honey, it could have been
a brand new Rolls Royce.
It wouldn't have
made no difference.
Friendships last forever.
Cars don't.
[FRANTIC KNOCKING AT DOOR]
I'll get it for you.
Hold on, hold on!
Hey, Willona!
We came as soon as we heard.
J.J.! Partner! Buddy!
Speak to me!
What's goin' on?
Man, don't move.
Somebody call a doctor!
Hey.
You don't look half bad
for a guy who's been
in a head-on collision.
A head-on collision? Yeah.
Who told you that?
Well,
glad you're feeling
better, J.J. Later!
Freeze!
Freeze, young lady.
Did you tell the guys that J.J.
had a head-on collision?
Well... sort of.
Penny, why did you do that?
I mean, it was only
a little fender-bender.
You didn't have to
make up a lie like that.
I know. But it was the
only way I could think of
to get Poppo, Head, and
Cool Breeze to come over.
You're all best friends,
and best friends
shouldn't fight.
She's absolutely
right about that.
But, honey, listen.
You shouldn't have
told a fib like that.
I know.
But they wouldn't have believed
that J.J. was eaten by a shark.
J.J., why you didn't tell
me the car wouldn't start?
You never asked.
Thelma.
Thelma, come on to my
house. Leave the guys alone.
That's kind of dirty,
don't you think?
Thelma, Thelma, Thelma.
Now look here, mama.
I'm giving you one last
chance for romance.
Love me or leave me, baby.
Bye!
I just love a challenge.
Yeah, J.J., it's a
shame you weren't
in a head-on collision, or
we'd be together by now.
Come on. Let's leave.
Wait a minute, y'all!
Hold on, man!
I mean, since y'all
got over here so quick,
it's obvious that y'all care.
Now, I got a confession to make.
Without you guys
for the last few days,
it's been nowhere.
Yeah, I hear you.
Same here, man. Me too.
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
What about that car?
Man, forget that car.
That lemon.
Hey, man, your car's
blocking the garbage cans.
You better move it. The
truck will be here soon.
Good. Let them haul it
away with the rest of the trash.
Oh! What's the matter?
You don't like the car anymore?
Nah, Bookman. It's not
that we don't like the car.
We love the car.
It's just that we're having
a little financial trouble.
Uh, you wouldn't consider
buying the car back, would you?
That piece of junk?
Well... seeing as
though you're in a bind,
I'll buy it back from you for...
a hundred dollars.
A hundred dollars?
You charged us twice that much!
Yeah, Bookman, you
said the car was a classic.
Of course, if you
don't want the money...
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Keys, please.
[CLEARS THROAT]
That's the easiest
hundred dollars I ever made.
I should be on Wall Street.
Bookman, you're wide
enough to be Wall Street.
It's a pleasure doing
business with you fellas.
[CRASH FROM OUTSIDE]
[HEAD LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY]
[CHEERING]
Let me see, man! Let me see!
Whoo! Lord, look at that mess!
Ha! Boy, that truck
sure wrecked your car!
Ha, ha, ha!
Bookman, it's not our car.
It is your car.
Hey, man, give me my money back!
Right now! Give
me my money back!
No way, Bookman.
BOYS [IN UNISON]:
A deal is a deal.
[JEERING]
♪ United we stand
Divided we fall ♪
♪ We're tighter than
pantyhose Two sizes small ♪
J.J.! Poppo! Cool Breeze! Head!
♪ We're the Awesome
Foursome Until we are dead! ♪
[♪♪♪]
♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪
♪ Watchin' the asphalt grow ♪
♪ Thinkin' how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Hey, yeah ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Easy credit Ripoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪
ANNOUNCER: Good Times was
videotaped in front of a studio audience.
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Any time You meet a payment ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Any time You need a friend ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Any time You're
out from under ♪
♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Easy credit Ripoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Scratchin' And survivin' ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Hangin' In a chow line ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Ain't we lucky We got 'em ♪
♪ Good times ♪
Michael, what you doing?
Missed him!
See that fly over there, Thelma?
He's about to
buzz his last buzz.
Oh, Michael! Wait, now.
Don't kill him.
If there's such a
thing as reincarnation,
that might be somebody we know.
Thelma, who do we know
that can walk upside
down on the ceiling?
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
Hey! What's happenin', Poppo!
How ya doin', Head.
What's happening, Cool Breeze.
Float like a butterfly,
stings like a bee.
We comes to see J.J.
Where is he?
You know, that's
pretty good, Head.
Howard Cosell, right?
Howard Cosell? What...?
You got it.
[MIMICKING COSELL]
For the record,
I would like to state
that I have perambulated
to the Evans abode
for the sole, express purpose
of our monthly confabulation
with the eminent Brother J.
Well... right now,
J.J.'s still at work,
but he'll be here in a minute,
so you know,
just... cop a squat.
Relax, you know.
That ain't like brother J
to be late for one
of our sessions, now.
Man, I split from
work an hour early.
I even left a customer waiting.
What you mean, a customer, man?
You work at Ferguson's
funeral home.
You should have
put him in layaway.
Ooh! Thelma, Thelma, Thelma!
Ooh!
Girl, where you
been hiding yourself?
You got to be the foxiest
chick there ever was.
Just say the word,
and I'm yours forever.
No.
That ain't the
word I had in mind.
Hey! What's happenin'!
Hey, what's happenin'! J.J.!
What's happenin'!
Put 'er there!
You got it! You got it!
Now we can get it
on with the roll call!
Dig it!
[IN UNISON] One! Two!
You know what to do!
♪ Down at the Bijou
He can be found ♪
♪ We call him Head
For his brain of renown ♪
♪ Sees all the movies
Whatever plays ♪
Two times nightly and matinees.
♪ Well, Poppo's charm
Is famous, y'hear ♪
♪ He comes on strong
When the ladies are near ♪
♪ Now he's got class
And he's got clout ♪
Come on, Mama,
we're steppin' out.
♪ Well, one of
Ferguson's Employees ♪
♪ Is this here dude
We call Cool Breeze ♪
♪ And with his
clients He has a ball ♪
'Cause in the
end, I dig them all!
♪ Now, this man here
Is the ebony prince ♪
♪ Ain't no one like
him Before or since ♪
♪ No one's smooth As Brother J ♪
Well, you know,
just what can I say?
♪ United we stand
Divided we fall ♪
♪ We're tighter than
pantyhose Two sizes small ♪
J.J.! Cool Breeze!
Poppo! Head!
♪ We're the Awesome
Foursome Until we are dead! ♪
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
Hey! Yeah, man! All right!
BOOKMAN: What took you so long?
Now he's out there doin' it.
Lookie, lookie, lookie.
Here is Bookie.
Well, if it ain't
the Dirty Dozen,
minus eight.
Hey, Bookman. What do we owe
the displeasure
of this visit to?
Well, your sister reported
some trouble with the stove.
And I rushed
right over to fix it.
Rushed over? I called
you six weeks ago.
Thelma, you know Bookman
is a very slow rusher.
Well, since you
rushed, go fix it!
Thelma! Thelma,
baby, wait a minute.
Girl, I can't live without you.
Oh. Now, Poppo,
check this out, now.
Why don't you meet me in
the park, huh? Ten o'clock.
Ooh!
You know, near the
statue of, uh, Jimmy Carter.
Oh! All right!
Ah, 10:00 in the park...
near the statue of Jimmy Ca...
Wait a minute, baby!
There ain't no statue of
Jimmy Carter in the park!
Well, when they put
one in, I'll meet you there.
[NASAL LAUGHTER]
MICHAEL: I'll see you all later.
All right, Michael. Hey, y'all,
what we gonna do tonight?
We got to do something.
Ah, man. I don't know.
Uh, what do you wanna do?
I don't know, man.
What you wanna do?
Come on, man. We've
been getting together
every month for
the last 12 years,
and we never know
what we gonna do.
Why don't we go
where some ladies are.
Maybe we can get lucky tonight.
Poppo, you couldn't get
lucky in a girls' seminary.
Did someone say cemetery?
Poppo couldn't get
lucky there, either.
Man, if we had wheels,
we could go anywhere.
Oh, now. Come on, Breeze.
Where are we gonna find wheels?
I could borrow the hearse.
Hey, look here, man.
Last time we
borrowed the hearse,
we got followed by 20 cars.
And had a police escort.
I got a car I might
be talked into selling.
That piece of junk?
That piece of junk
happens to be a classic.
It even has a bucket seat.
Bookman, anything you
sit in has a bucket seat.
What kind of car you got?
A 1954 pink and gray DeSoto.
1954?
Man, that car's
older than we are.
Bookman, let's get down
to the nitty and the gritty.
How much you want for that car?
Fifteen hundred dollars.
Fifteen hundred dollars?
Look here, Bookman.
I know I'm making a
couple of dollars now,
but that's a little
bit out of my league.
I've got 50 dollars.
Fifty dollars? Man,
I can match 50.
Me, too, man.
Well, 50 times four. That's...
200 dollars, Bookman.
Two hundred dollars?
You expect me to
accept that measly sum
for my little pink
and gray beauty?
Two hundred dollars!
Man, that's an insult!
Look here, Bookman.
Two hundred dollars is
all we can come up with.
It's a deal! All right!
[CHEERING]
Bought a car. Bought a car.
Hey, hey, hey.
What's going on in here?
Mr. Miguel,
you're looking at the
proud new owners
of a 1954 DeSoto.
Wanna run that by me again?
The boys here
just bought my car.
You bought a used
car from this man?
Hey, y'all.
Hi, Willona. Hi, Willona.
J.J., be a dear, and ask Thelma
to keep an eye on Penny.
I have to go downtown.
Willona, how would you
like a ride downtown?
Ooh, honey, I'd love it.
How you plan on
carrying me? Piggyback?
Or do you know
somebody with a car?
[IN UNISON] I do!
Willona, these four turkeys
just bought Bookman's old car.
You bought a used
car from this man?
Booga, I wanna talk to you.
Excuse me, honey. You too, J.J.
Hey, y'all. Let's go downstairs
and check out what's
under that hood.
Okay, lowlife, now what...?
A deal's a deal, Ms. Woods.
That's right.
Me and Bookman
shook on that thing.
And I'm gonna sign
the check out right now.
So look out. Let me see.
Check number 274.
Paid to the order of Nathan
"Buffalo Butt" Bookman.
Two hundred big greenies.
There you go. All right, then.
Oh, no, you don't!
It's a fair price.
Fair?
You call that fair?
For that gas guzzling,
pink-and-gray dinosaur?
Get out of my face!
J.J., honey, I know
you want a car,
but think about
the responsibility:
gas, upkeep, repairs...
Willona, we're gonna split
the expenses four ways.
Four guys own a car?
You're lookin' for trouble.
Willona, we're the
Awesome Foursome.
Can't nothin' split us up.
You're being taken
advantage of, J.J.
A junk dealer
wouldn't give Bookman
no more than 25 clams!
25 clams? Mm-hm.
Hey, Bookman.
What do you say if I give you
a hundred potatoes for that car?
You done already gave me
two hundred smackeroonies.
I mean, a deal is a deal.
Uh, keys, please.
Well, you're
stuck with that car.
But there ain't no
way I'm gonna let you
drive that ancient chariot
around town without insurance.
Now, either you prove to me
that you are a responsible driver,
or I will have to
confiscate the car
in the name of my
best friend, your mama.
Wait a minute, Ms.
Woods. Don't worry.
It just so happens,
my brother-in-law happens
to be an insurance salesman.
I'd be glad to take the
fellas over, personally.
I'm sure you would.
J.J.,
man, you know, you
should've checked that car out.
It's a pure lemon.
Well, it's your lemon
now. A deal's a deal.
Yeah, J.J. gave
him big greenies,
but Willona said a junk dealer
wouldn't give him clams.
So J.J. offered him potatoes.
But it was too late.
Bookman already
had the smackeroonies.
Well, fellas, we've
got ourselves a car!
All right.
♪ United we stand
Divided we fall ♪
♪ We're tighter than
pantyhose Two sizes small ♪
J.J.! Cool Breeze!
Poppo! Head!
♪ We're the Awesome
Foursome Until we are dead ♪
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
Well, gentlemen,
let's get down to business.
First we'll need
some information.
Which one of you
will be driving the car?
[IN UNISON] I will!
Oh, I didn't realize.
Are any of you under 25?
I am!
All under 25.
That's too bad.
That means your
insurance policy will be high.
What kind of car
will you be driving?
A classic, my man. A classic.
A 1954 pink-and-gray DeSoto.
You bought a used
car from this man?
[CACKLES]
On your insurance cost,
property damage,
personal liability,
I can give you a
ballpark figure of about
one thousand dollars.
One thousand dollars?!
Look here, my man.
You got a ballpark a
little smaller than that?
Look, Harry, I promised the
boys you'd do all right by 'em.
That's what you promised
my sister 20 years ago
when you married her.
And she's still waiting.
I'd like to help you fellas,
but one of the reasons
you'd be paying so much
is because you
live in the ghetto.
Mr. Taylor, you mean
rich people pay less?
That's not fair.
Sorry, I don't make the rules.
See, he don't make the rules.
I don't need your help!
Look here. A thousand dollars.
That's five times more
than we paid for the car.
Oh, no problem.
You can pay it off in 12
monthly installments of...
83 dollars and 34 cents.
Now, you can afford
that split four ways, huh?
Yeah, I guess.
We can handle that, right?
POPPO: That's cool.
HEAD: We got that.
Well then,
you are now insured
by Lucky Motoring:
the insurance company for those
who are not quite good
enough to be in good hands.
Well, if you'll excuse
me, I'll go draw this up.
Nathan, stay the
hell out of my chair!
J, lay those keys on me, man.
What for?
I'm gonna show off my wheels.
You can show off the
wheels, but I get the car tonight.
I got a heavy date,
dig? J, the keys, please.
Hey, Head, where does
it say you get the car?
I get the car 'cause
I put up the first 50.
If you don't like
it... Hey, man...
Hold on, man. Hold on here!
Take it easy! Take it easy!
I knew something like this
was gonna to come up, so...
that's how come I made
up a little schedule, see?
So I am the man, here,
with the plan. Heh-heh!
Now, here...
Now, there's four of us, right?
Seven days in a week.
Which figures out exactly
to a day and
three-quarters each.
Which is 42 hours.
Well, who gets the car first?
I do. You do?
Yeah! It's right here
on the schedule, see?
He's right. Yeah, yeah!
No wonder you get
it. You made it up.
I want the car first.
I got five women waiting for me.
I got six!
[QUARRELING]
Hey, hey, man!
Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
My brother here don't like
all this noise in his office.
You see how testy he can get.
Yeah. How come you
two don't get along?
Well, way back when
we were struggling,
Harry and I bought
a car together.
And all this car did was
get us into fights, man.
I mean, the car
was one big jinx.
Who ended up with the car?
You did. You just bought it.
Say what?
Mwah!
It'll cost you
three to stay, J.J.
Well, Thelma's cookies
are good for something.
They make great poker chips.
They're unbreakable.
Well, Poppo, my
man, it's up to you.
In or out?
Poppo!
Oh, man, I'm sorry.
I can't seem to concentrate.
I'm worried about Breeze.
You mean you're worried about
that car. That's what you mean.
You calling me a liar?
Man, you take that back,
Head, or step outside
right now, chump.
I'm calling you a liar
and your little
sister a liar, chump!
Take it easy! Hold on here!
Hold on! Sit down,
here! Sit down, here!
Alleviate yourselves.
Oh, man. Just 'cause
Breeze is three hours late,
and he's cutting
into my 42 hours,
that ain't no reason
to get excited.
Where is he!?
Hey, you guys,
I thought we were playing cards.
I'm in. I'm in.
I'm bettin' all my
cookies. All right.
Heh-heh-heh!
Well, little lady,
I think you made
a mistake this time.
Two pairs.
Kings and queens.
Beats me. I'm out.
I got two pairs too, J.J.
Fours... Fours? Ha!
And fours.
Hm. Four times four is 16.
Well, thanks for the game,
guys. I really appreciate it.
It's really fun.
Yeah, mm-hm, yeah.
You know, I really
like you guys,
'cause you're so easy to beat.
Ah, let's get you out of here.
POPPO: It was fun. HEAD:
Yeah, anytime, Penny.
Now we're gonna change your name
to Penny the Greek.
[MIMICS MAE WEST]
Well, so long, suckers.
Come on, now, don't
worry about the Breeze.
He probably just had
a flat or something.
Oh, man, I hope not.
The spare's got
a hole in it too.
That don't make no difference.
There ain't no jack.
Hey, bloods, sorry I'm late.
Had to fill the tank with gas.
You guys owe me
two bucks apiece.
Uh-uh. Why should
we pay for your gas?
One for all, and all for one.
Okay. If that's the
way you want it,
then cough up your share
for this here parking ticket.
Get that out of my face!
Hey, man, take it
easy! Relax, you guys!
♪ United we stand
Divided we fall ♪
Ah, shut up!
I'd ask you for your
share of the quarter
I just put in the parking
meter, only I'm not cheap.
Cheap?
Who you calling cheap, chump?
How'd you like to
become a customer
down at Ferguson's? Come on!
[ARGUING INDISTINCTLY]
Take it easy! Take it easy, man.
♪ We're tighter than
pantyhose Two sizes small ♪
Who needs you?
Hey, Breeze!
Come on back here!
Man, let him go. Let
him go. Who needs him?
It's your fault, J.J.
My fault?
Sure. Big time art director,
you just had to buy that car.
Now the Foursome is no moresome!
Look here, man. You messed
up the schedule by needing the car
to go to your
grandmother's funeral.
Two days in a row!
Yeah, yeah.
How come we went for that?
It's your fault!
You better be cool!
You're the one who
lost the hubcaps!
So I don't want to hear
nothing. Hubcaps! Hubcaps!
I've had it up to here
with this chicken outfit.
Get on, gizzard!
Ah, boy. I never
thought I'd see the day
when the Awesome Foursome
gets down to the
Gruesome Twosome.
And it's your fault, J.J.!
Hasta la vista!
Pssh.
Now the Awesome Foursome is
down to the Lonesome Mesome.
THELMA: Hey, Michael,
you think J.J. is gonna let
me borrow the car tonight?
Yeah, as soon as the bionic
dog marries Morris the cat.
I didn't think he'd
lend it to me, either.
Hi, J.J.! Ha, ha!
Uh, how was work today?
Did the boys call?
Uh, not since I was here.
Nah, sorry J.J.
Uh, J.J., are you gonna
use the car tonight?
No, Thelma. [GIGGLES]
Well, uh, you think
I could borrow it?
Sure, Thelma. Here are the keys.
All right!
I guess the bionic
dog is in trouble.
Wait up, Thelma! I'm going!
Drop me off at the gym.
Yeah, okay. Hurry, before
he changes his mind.
Hey, Willona, J.J.
let me borrow the car!
Whoo!
You're letting Thelma
borrow the car?
Honey, I know
you don't feel good.
Willona, I never had so
many troubles in all my life.
I don't know about
that car, Willona.
I don't know whether to take it
to an auto-mechanic or a priest.
J.J., it can't be all that bad.
I guess you're right, Willona.
What can you say about a car
that gets a half a
mile to the gallon?
I did drive it down to the
supermarket and back, though,
and it only stalled four times.
Well, look. That's
not too bad. I mean,
considering the supermarket
is a good two blocks away.
[LAUGHS]
Yeah, and then there
was that little accident
I had yesterday.
Report it to the
insurance company?
Yeah, but that was a mistake.
They cancelled the policy.
Oh, that's terrible.
J.J., Thelma's driving
the car with no insurance?
It's all right, Willona.
The battery's dead.
Oh!
Boy, you know, Willona,
I used to have
friends and no car.
Now I got a car and no friends.
You mean the guys
still aren't talkin'?
Willona, I never
knew a '54 DeSoto
could bust up a friendship.
No wonder they
stopped making 'em.
Honey, it could have been
a brand new Rolls Royce.
It wouldn't have
made no difference.
Friendships last forever.
Cars don't.
[FRANTIC KNOCKING AT DOOR]
I'll get it for you.
Hold on, hold on!
Hey, Willona!
We came as soon as we heard.
J.J.! Partner! Buddy!
Speak to me!
What's goin' on?
Man, don't move.
Somebody call a doctor!
Hey.
You don't look half bad
for a guy who's been
in a head-on collision.
A head-on collision? Yeah.
Who told you that?
Well,
glad you're feeling
better, J.J. Later!
Freeze!
Freeze, young lady.
Did you tell the guys that J.J.
had a head-on collision?
Well... sort of.
Penny, why did you do that?
I mean, it was only
a little fender-bender.
You didn't have to
make up a lie like that.
I know. But it was the
only way I could think of
to get Poppo, Head, and
Cool Breeze to come over.
You're all best friends,
and best friends
shouldn't fight.
She's absolutely
right about that.
But, honey, listen.
You shouldn't have
told a fib like that.
I know.
But they wouldn't have believed
that J.J. was eaten by a shark.
J.J., why you didn't tell
me the car wouldn't start?
You never asked.
Thelma.
Thelma, come on to my
house. Leave the guys alone.
That's kind of dirty,
don't you think?
Thelma, Thelma, Thelma.
Now look here, mama.
I'm giving you one last
chance for romance.
Love me or leave me, baby.
Bye!
I just love a challenge.
Yeah, J.J., it's a
shame you weren't
in a head-on collision, or
we'd be together by now.
Come on. Let's leave.
Wait a minute, y'all!
Hold on, man!
I mean, since y'all
got over here so quick,
it's obvious that y'all care.
Now, I got a confession to make.
Without you guys
for the last few days,
it's been nowhere.
Yeah, I hear you.
Same here, man. Me too.
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
What about that car?
Man, forget that car.
That lemon.
Hey, man, your car's
blocking the garbage cans.
You better move it. The
truck will be here soon.
Good. Let them haul it
away with the rest of the trash.
Oh! What's the matter?
You don't like the car anymore?
Nah, Bookman. It's not
that we don't like the car.
We love the car.
It's just that we're having
a little financial trouble.
Uh, you wouldn't consider
buying the car back, would you?
That piece of junk?
Well... seeing as
though you're in a bind,
I'll buy it back from you for...
a hundred dollars.
A hundred dollars?
You charged us twice that much!
Yeah, Bookman, you
said the car was a classic.
Of course, if you
don't want the money...
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Keys, please.
[CLEARS THROAT]
That's the easiest
hundred dollars I ever made.
I should be on Wall Street.
Bookman, you're wide
enough to be Wall Street.
It's a pleasure doing
business with you fellas.
[CRASH FROM OUTSIDE]
[HEAD LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY]
[CHEERING]
Let me see, man! Let me see!
Whoo! Lord, look at that mess!
Ha! Boy, that truck
sure wrecked your car!
Ha, ha, ha!
Bookman, it's not our car.
It is your car.
Hey, man, give me my money back!
Right now! Give
me my money back!
No way, Bookman.
BOYS [IN UNISON]:
A deal is a deal.
[JEERING]
♪ United we stand
Divided we fall ♪
♪ We're tighter than
pantyhose Two sizes small ♪
J.J.! Poppo! Cool Breeze! Head!
♪ We're the Awesome
Foursome Until we are dead! ♪
[♪♪♪]
♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪
♪ Watchin' the asphalt grow ♪
♪ Thinkin' how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Hey, yeah ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪
♪ Easy credit Ripoffs ♪
♪ Good times ♪
ANNOUNCER: Good Times was
videotaped in front of a studio audience.
♪ Good times ♪