Good Times (1974–1979): Season 1, Episode 10 - Springtime in the Ghetto - full transcript

ANNOUNCER: From
Television City in Hollywood:

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How's it going, James?

Almost ready, baby.

Oh, the plants are gonna
look real nice on that stand.

And they gonna grow better,
too, knowing that somebody cares

enough about them to build
them their own little home.



What are you
talking about, Florida?

I read it in a plant book.

It says that plants
are very sensitive.

And when they
know you love them,

they'll just blossom.

Yeah, well, in that
case, let's do it up right.

I'll break out the muscatel

and give 'em a
real housewarming.

James, plants don't
blossom on muscatel.

No, but I do.

Them plants can continue
to get high on fertilizer.

Well, I got the
slipcovers finished.

Oh, James, everything
is looking so good.

I'm getting so excited!

Now, baby, I know how
important this contest is to you,

but don't you think you
went overboard a bit?

I mean, the money you
spent for them slipcovers,

you could've made
yourself a new dress.

I saved money, James.

The sofa takes less
material than I do.

Don't you go putting
yourself down,

'cause I like you
just the way you are.

There's plenty to
hug, plenty to squeeze.

Oh, James.

And I know there's
always enough left over

for next time.

You sure know how to make

a Weight Watchers'
dropout feel good.

Ma, I got my room spotless.

And I even got
my lipstick stains

off my autographed
picture of Stevie Wonder.

That's what I call clean.

Come on, help me
put this on the couch.

Ooh, Ma, it's beautiful.

We're sure to get
the first prize this year.

I know this is the best-looking
apartment in the building.

Well, I don't know, baby.

The competition's
pretty stiff this year.

Mr. and Mrs. Russell

got a genuine antique umbrella
stand from Montgomery Ward.

Now that's gonna
be pretty hard to top.

I still think we'll win.

Anything else you
want me to do, Ma?

Well, you could clean
the inside of the stove.

Oh, Ma.

Oh, Thelma.

Okay.

Well, a loving daughter
is the next best thing

to a self-cleaning oven.

Oh, James, just
look at this place.

I know exactly where
I'm gonna put the plaque.

Now, baby, you gotta
win it before you hang it.

Now, look, I don't
wanna be no killjoy,

but you gotta be
prepared for the fact

that it ain't what you
do but who you know.

James, I feel too good to
let you rain on my parade.

Now I know that
the important thing

in the contest is
how good things look.

And Mrs. Vinson is the
head of the committee.

She is as honest
as the day is long.

That's the same thing they said
about them people in Washington.

You notice how short their
day's been getting lately?

The plants look the
way you like 'em?

Put the philodendron on top.

Now which one is that?

I don't know a philodendron
from a collard green.

This one. It's
the prettiest one.

I didn't mean that, all
the rest of you plants.

I love you all.

I think each and every
one of you is beautiful.

Baby, you talkin' to them
plants like they understand you.

They do, James.
You'd be surprised.

I guess you right.

Them turnip greens
we had for dinner

talked back to
me all last night.

Hi, JJ. Did you
get the plant food?

Yeah. Cost me $1.95.

Boy, them plants
eating better than we do.

Why don't we just
sprinkle a little grits on 'em?

JJ, the plants don't
like that kind of talk.

Now I'm sure you've upset them,

so I want you to go over there
and tell them you are sorry.

I'm hearing it, but
I don't believe it.

You want me to
apologize to a plant?

Pardon me, plants...

I'm sorry if I said
anything to offend you.

Since I'm making
a formal apology,

don't you think I should
be introduced formally first?

Okay.

Plants, I'd like you to meet
my smart-alecky son James Jr.

This is a philodendron.
That's a Boston fern.

This is a spreckle plant.
And that's an African violet.

Hello there, philodendron.

Hello there, Boston fern.

Hello there, spreckle plant.

And as for you, African
violet, right on, bro!

That's better.

Well, if y'all excuse me,

I have to go to
the bathroom now.

See, that's what us
human beings... JJ.

Well, good-bye, plants.

And good-bye, my African violet.

Hi, Florida!

Hi!

Are you ready for this?

Ta-da!

What have you got there?

Two adorable goldfish

to put the finishing touches
to your house beautiful.

Oh, Willona, they are beautiful!

Mr. and Mrs. Evans, I'd like
you to meet Ozzie and Harriet.

Precious.

Ain't they?

Now this one's Ozzie,
and that one's Harriet.

Or is this one Ozzie
and that one Harriet?

I can't tell the difference.

But they ain't got no problem,

'cause they can.
[SPEAKS BABY TALK]

Willona, your bread ain't baked.

Here.

Oh, it really is nice.

But, Willona, you shouldn't
have spent the money.

What money? I got
the bowl wholesale.

And Ozzie cost, what, 35
cents, and Harriet cost 50 cents.

How come Harriet
cost more than Ozzie?

'Cause Ozzie just
swims around the bowl.

Harriet lays the eggs.

Hi, Thelma. Hey, Willona.

Whoo, you really got
everybody working, haven't you?

Got to get it together.

Well, I'm glad to see the
house looking so good,

'cause I got news for you.

The judging committee is
coming around this afternoon.

This afternoon? Mm-hm.

Are you sure of that?
How did you find out?

They don't call me

the Rona Barrett of
the projects for nothing.

Willona, how did you find out?

You know Mrs. Vinson,
the head of the committee?

Well, her husband has a brother
who's married to some chick

who has a father-in-law
who has a nephew

who's a real handsome dude.

Took me dancing at the
Ambassador East last night.

Oh, and he told you about it.

No. I overheard
it in the laundry.

But I just wanted you
all to know I was dancing

at the Ambassador
East last night.

Willona, you're too much.

Better than not enough.

Well, I gotta go.
Uh-oh, almost forgot.

Here is some
food for the fishes.

Good.

When you feed them, make
sure you give more to Harriet.

Why?

Because the man
at the fish store

said she was pregnant.

She may be eating
for 46. Bye, fishies.

See y'all later.

Okay, Willona. And thanks again.

All right, good luck. Thank you.

You know something, baby?
You all too much for me.

How you supposed to know

which one of them
fish is Harriet?

Oh, that's simple.

If one of 'em gets up
in the middle of the night

and wants chocolate
crackers and sauerkraut,

that's Harriet.

You know, your loaf could
use another ten minutes, too.

Hello there, vegetation.

I'm back from the bathroom.

Hey, who'd you get
them goldfish from?

Willona brought 'em to
brighten up the place a little bit.

Suppose I have
to talk to them, too.

Well, they are living things.

It wouldn't hurt to
say something nice.

Okay.

Hello, little gold brothers.

May the water in your
bowl always be wet.

Move your easel.

Fixing up the apartment
and winning first prize

mean that much, huh, Ma?

It isn't just the first prize.

It's taking pride in
your surroundings

and trying to make
things look better.

Baby, I told you not to get
your hopes up too high, hear?

Just 'cause you the
best filly in the race

don't mean there
might not be a fix on.

James, I just know all this
work ain't going for nothing.

We got to win the
first prize! All right.

Mama, Daddy, can I ask you
an important question? Uh-huh.

If you meet a brother on
the street who was tired,

hungry, and had no place
to go, would you help him?

I guess so. That would
be the Christian thing to do.

I thought so, Mama.

Come on in, brother.

Ned the wino? Oh, not
in my apartment today.

Thelma, open the windows!

That won't be enough.
I'll get the Lysol.

Michael, come here.

Why, of all people,
and why, of all times,

did you bring Ned the
wino into this house today?

Well, Mama, he was
lying in the gutter.

That ain't nothing new.

We been stepping
over him for years.

He's the closest
thing the projects have

to a national monument.

Michael, come
here a minute, son.

Now we can't help this
brother. He's a hopeless drunk.

I may be drunk,
but I'm not helpless.

Yeah. Yeah. Could a
helpless man do that?

Get that man off my new covers!

Junior, come on.

Help him up.

Easy, Ned. What?

It's gonna be all right.

See, Michael, we
all know he's a wino.

He been on the grape for
years and he won't get off.

That's right.

His name's engraved in
the Ripple Hall of Fame.

Michael, honey, you just
got to get him outta here.

Mama, I had a
long talk with him.

He promised he'd give
up drinking and dry out.

That's right! I
promised. Easy, man.

All he needs is
someone to help him.

Mama, if he could just
spend a few days here,

he'd be all right.

A few days? Willona just told us

that the committee will
be here in a few minutes!

Michael, in order to help a man,

the man's gotta
wanna help hisself.

But, Daddy, he does
want to help himself.

Oh yeah? Well,
let's see about that.

Ned? Huh?

Ooh-whoo!

There's almost a
full bottle of muscatel

in the kitchen cabinet.

You're welcome
to it, if you want it.

No, James.

I said I was gonna dry
out, and that's what I'm...

Almost a full bottle, huh?

Yeah, help yourself.

No, no. I promised Michael.

I told you. He meant it.

We can make a new man
out of him. What do you say?

Honey, we just got the
place spick-and-span.

The committee is
due here any minute.

Michael, you picked a bad
time to be a Good Samaritan.

But, Mama, you always told us

we were put on this
earth to help others.

Daddy, if we don't
help him out, who will?

Look, folks, you
don't have to bother.

I don't blame you for
not wanting me here.

Oh, wait!

I wouldn't drink that
stuff if I was you, lady.

It's got fish in it.

Hold it, Ned.

Michael, tell him he can stay.

Really, Mom?

James, get out the muscatel.

For Ned?

No. For somebody
who really need it... me.

JJ: Come on, Ned!
Three down, one to go!

Try and get this...

Try and get one more down now.

Come on, Ned. You've
got to eat something.

What is this stuff?

It's something you haven't
tasted in a long while.

It's called "food."

Try one more now.
Come on. That's it.

I can't eat any more.

It's taking my
stomach by surprise.

I bet your liver wants to know
what the hell's going on too.

Ned, try and get this milk down.

Milk! Oh, no, I couldn't.

Oh, yes, you could. Just
make believe it's white muscatel.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm. By the time
he gets it to his mouth,

it's gonna be a milkshake.

All the way. Come on, Ned.

All right, Ned!

[COUGHING]

I guess he ain't used
to drinking nothing

don't come out a
brown paper bag.

Well, if he's through
eating, y'all clean him up.

Come on, Michael, Junior.

Give me a hand whipping
him off to the bathroom.

Bathroom? You better
off we just took off

all his clothes and ran
him through the car wash.

JJ.

Nobody'll notice.

They probably just
think he's streaking.

James, will you try
and hurry him in there?

And while you in
it, explain to him

about the contest and
the committee coming over.

You don't have to worry, lady.

I won't do anything
to embarrass you.

Uh, Ned? Ned.

The bathroom is this way.

Then that's the way I'll go!

Come on. Here we go.

Ohh! He's back
on the couch again!

Get him off!

Come on, Junior. Lift
him up. Here we go.

Latest bulletin...

The judging committee's
on the 16th floor and...

Is that who I think it is?

That's him. Ned the wino.

I didn't even recognize him. I
never saw him vertical before.

You may never see
him vertical again.

Don't worry, Ma.

We'll get him clean if
we have to sandblast him.

Florida, honey, the committee's
gonna be here any minute.

If they see Ned, you
ain't gonna have a chance.

Don't I know it?

Daddy and the boys are
gonna get him cleaned up, Ma.

Cleaned up? With
all that dirt on him,

It would be simpler
and faster if you dropped

a couple of seeds on him
and turned him into a planter.

He'd be the only real
potted plant in the projects.

It'll be all right, Ma.

Thelma's right.

Ain't nothing lost.
We still got time

to get him outta
here if you want to.

We promised to help him,
and that's what we gonna do.

James, y'all hurry up in there.

If we lose, well, there's
always next year.

Right, Thelma?

Right, Ma. All right.

Baby, we may win yet.

I'm gonna go
scrounge in my closet,

see if I can find some
old clothes for him.

I betcha we have him
lookin' more respectable

than any of them judges
who've been up here before.

Oh, James, that's sweet.

Hey.

James!

Hmm?

What was that for?

That's for being a
whole lot of woman.

And I don't mean weight neither.

Haven't they cleaned
up Ned yet, Ma?

Nope. I think it's taking them

a little longer
than they figured.

We about got him ready.

He'd have been ready
sooner, but we lost five minutes

trying to get them
gray socks off.

Five minutes?

Yeah. We found out
he wasn't wearing none.

Rusty!

Well, he's ready.

We washed off all the
dirt that wasn't moving

and killed everything that was.

Michael?

Bring him out for
a grand entrance.

[SINGING FANFARE]

FLORIDA: Well, well, well!

Ma, he looks great! Yeah!

Now who would've thought

that this Ned was hiding
underneath that other Ned?

Ned, you look fine, man!

I bet you feel better,
too, don't you?

Ned?

You all right, Ned?

He's so clean, he going
into a state of shock!

Come on over here and sit down.

I think you'll be more
comfortable staring from here.

Now look, let's sit down.

When the committee
gets here, Ned...

Sit down, man.

Ned, if you can hear
me, just wiggle a finger.

That's close enough.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Ooh, that must be the committee.

Lord, if you ain't too busy,
please stick around for a while.

Mrs. Vinson!

Oh, Mrs. Evans, how are you?

Come right in. Good evening.

I guess you all know
my husband James.

How are you?

And those are my children.

Hi!

This is my cousin. He's
visiting us from Mississippi.

Well, now isn't that funny.

I could have sworn
it was Ned the wino.

Aw, no.

Same profile. Same mustache.

Same breath.

Now why don't you folks
check the other rooms?

I'll take care of this area.

Very lovely, Mrs. Evans.

The slipcover is beautiful.

So are the plants.

So are the children.

Well, your apartment
certainly seems...

Something wrong
with your cousin?

Uh, no, he just trying
to tie his shoelace.

Michael, wanna
give cousin a hand

with his shoelace, please?

The old cuz got a
little touch of lumbago.

The bathrooms are beautiful,
and the bedroom is immaculate.

Then I don't think
there's any doubt.

You're the winner, Mrs. Evans.

Just a minute, Mrs. Vinson.
We promised the Russells

we'd go back and take
another look at their apartment.

It's my belief as
chairperson that this is by far

the best-kept and most
charming apartment.

I you don't agree, you
tell Mr. and Mrs. Evans.

Mrs. Evans,

I am happy to inform you
that you've won first prize.

[CHEERING]

Yeah!

Thank you! Thank you!

Well, committee,
our work is done.

Let's go, let's go.

Good-bye, now. Bye-bye.

Bye, Mrs. Vinson. Adios.

Bye-bye, and thank
you all so much.

JJ: Well... This calls
for a celebration!

Yes. Let's have some Kool-Aid!

All right! All right!

I'm so proud of you!

Oh, we did it!

And now, James,
what were you saying

about it ain't what you
do but who you know?

Well, that's supposed
to be the rule.

But as usual,
you're the exception.

And you really deserve it, baby,

'cause you did one fine
job on this apartment.

And don't forget, we also made
a fine new person out of Ned.

James, will you straighten
up that fine new person?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Mrs. Vinson!

Mrs. Evans, I just
had to come back

and tell you one more thing.

It was very close between
your apartment and the Russells'.

Yes?

But one thing made
me decide in your favor.

Oh, what was that?

The way you cleaned up Ned.

Mrs. Vinson, I know
there's a resemblance,

but like I told you,
this is my cousin...

Mr. Evans, believe
me when I tell you

I would know Ned
the wino anywhere.

How could you be so sure?

He's my husband.

Lord, have mercy.

Once I saw the way
you cleaned up Ned,

I didn't have to look
at the apartment.

You didn't?

Do you realize
this is the first time

in eight years I don't mind
taking this man home with me?

Home with her?

Did she say I got
to go home with her?

Everything is just the
way you left it, Ned.

My mama's still living with us.

The girls still come over three
times a week to play cards.

And I'm still taking
my polka lessons.

No, please! If you have
any charity in your hearts...

Ned!

Well, James, now I not
only got pull in the projects,

but thanks to Ned,

I also got connections
in the gutter.

JAMES: Well, here it is.

That plaque is gonna
look real nice up there.

Yeah, and that's something
we can all be proud of.

FLORIDA: Amen.

Hello, Ma. Hello, Michael.
Hello, Thelma. Hello, Dad.

Hello, plaque.

Hello, plants.

Hello, Ozzie. Hello, Harriet.

Hey, what's them little things
swimming around in there?

Harriet just gave birth
to seven new babies.

Fine thing. You leave
the house for a half-hour,

and you got seven new
dudes to say hello to.

Hello, Susan. Hello, Brenda.
Hello, Ricky. Hello, David.

Hello, fool!

♪♪♪

♪ Mmm ♪

♪ Just looking out
of the window ♪

♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinking how it all
looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

♪ Keeping your
head above water ♪

♪ Making a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good Times ♪

NARRATOR: Good Times is
recorded on tape before a live audience.

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good Times ♪♪