Good Times (1974–1979): Season 1, Episode 11 - The TV Commercial - full transcript
The family helps Florida prepare for a role in a television commercial for a questionable health tonic.
ANNOUNCER: From
Television City in Hollywood:
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Any time you meet a payment ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Any time you meet a friend ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Any time you're
out from under ♪
♪ Not getting hassled,
not getting hustled ♪
♪ Keeping your
head above water ♪
♪ Making a wave when you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Scratching and surviving ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Hanging in a chow line ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good Times ♪♪
Hey, Daddy, listen to this.
Not now, Michael.
I got a big stack of
bills to get through.
Oh, let's see,
I'll pay this one,
stall this one,
have to argue about this one,
and this one I'm gonna
put in the funny papers.
Lord, would you look
at this electric bill?
This is ridiculous.
Has the gas bill
gone up too, Daddy?
Oh, not too bad.
At least if you can't afford
to pay the electric bill,
you can still put
your head in the oven.
I think all the poor people
ought to get together
and send letters of
protest to Washington.
No way, son.
They stopped us from doing
that by raising the price of stamps.
If things are getting
rough, Daddy,
maybe I can get a
part-time job after school.
So could I.
Oh, no. You guys just
concentrate on your education.
I'll take care of this family.
But thanks anyway, 'cause
I appreciate the thought.
You know, me and your
mama's still pretty lucky.
We're lucky too, Dad.
Yeah, we got ourselves
some wonderful kids.
Hey, Dad, I could use $18.
Well, two out of
three ain't bad.
What you need $18 for?
A set of barbells! Barbells?
Yeah, when I go to
the beach this summer,
I want to drive the girls crazy
with my massive body.
I don't know what
you want with barbells.
With that skinny
body and that big head
and those big feet,
you look like a barbell.
Go ahead, make fun of me, y'all.
But if I get those barbells,
I may get me a
job as a lifeguard.
And if I like it,
I may even learn how to swim.
Stop bumping your gums, will ya?
I got enough problems.
Hey, who made a
toll call to Oak Park?
Not me!
I got to go to the bathroom.
Junior, did you
make a toll call?
Well, Dad, see, what happened
is that I met this classy chick,
and when I called her, I
couldn't reverse the charges.
Otherwise, she would
have thought I was cheap.
I told her I was the
head of Motown.
I didn't lie, 'cause
actually what I told her
was that I was the
head of No Town.
Junior, I got a
fat phone bill here
that's a result of your
playing Casanova.
Now the next time
you make a toll call,
you and me gonna
go to knuckle junction.
The boss of No Town.
Willona, have I got
something to tell you.
The most exciting thing
happened at the supermarket.
I still can't believe it.
Let me guess.
They got in some
fresh meat by mistake?
No, I was standing in
the vegetable section,
you know, thumping
melons and squeezing lettuce
and squishing squash,
when this man walked over to me,
tapped me on my shoulder,
and said he was from
an advertising agency
that does TV commercials.
You're jiving. No!
He said he needed an honest face
to try to sell
their new product.
A TV commercial?
Ooh! What you say!
Rodney Allen Rippy,
eat your little heart out!
Hold on.
Oh, Florida, that's outta sight.
The only trouble is when
you're watching television,
you won't be able
to run to the john
during the commercial,
'cause it might be you.
Take it easy now. It's
nothing definite yet.
He said he had to look
at some other faces
before he decided.
Then how can you lose?
If he's looking for
an honest face,
he's not gonna find a more
honest face than yours.
Oh, Willona.
I mean it. You got
the perfect face.
You got the kind of face they
look for in commercials now.
You got that nice plain,
ordinary, everyday face.
Thanks, Willona.
I mean it. They
could look for a month
and not find a plainer
face than yours.
Florida Evans, you got
it made in the shade,
Miss TV Star.
Oh, that'll be the day
when they have Florida
Evans on television.
I got to go.
Well, I still say
they gonna pick you,
'cause when it comes
to a plain, ordinary face...
Willona, I heard you
the first five times.
What I mean is, Florida,
they couldn't have found
a more beautiful one.
Hi, folks.
Hey, Ma, let me help you.
Oh, thank you, baby.
Well, baby, you sure
was gone a long time.
James, I bet you
can't guess why.
Why?
The most exciting
thing happened!
I was standing in
the supermarket,
just standing there and
looking at the squash,
and a man asked me
to do a TV commercial.
What? You gonna
do a TV commercial?
You, Mama?
And why not?
This man was watching me
while I was walking
around at the market,
and he decided he
liked what he saw.
You ain't doing no
brassiere commercial.
James.
Ain't no wife of mine
advertising nothing
below the neck.
I'm sure he won't be calling me.
But anyway, he gave me his card
and told me he'd get in
touch with me if he needed me.
A card? Let me see it.
I'm an expert on cards, Mama.
Here it is.
Hey, look at that
fancy gold lettering.
Well, fancy or not, let's
not count our chickens.
I ain't got that job yet.
But, Mama, you said the
man was interested in you,
and they pay big
for commercials, Ma.
I'll bet you'll get
at least $100.
$100?
Mmm-mmm!
Yeah, they'll probably put
Mama in some long evening gown,
stick her on top of a mountain
with the wind blowing
through her hair.
Picks up a bottle of ketchup
and smacks her lips.
And says, "Mmm, dat's good!"
"Dat's good"?
It's a commercial. She
can't say, "dat's bad."
Mama's not going
to speak bad English
when she goes on television.
Right, Ma? Dat's right.
Ma, please!
Thelma, how you know they don't
want Mama to speak street talk?
Why you think they picked
a black woman anyway?
I don't care why
they picked her, JJ.
All I know is my mother
is not going to speak...
Thelma, baby,
don't worry about it.
If they let me go on television,
ain't no way I'm gonna use
anything else but good English.
That's right, baby. Your
mother's a proud black woman.
If they ask her to
say, "Dat's right,"
she'd take that bottle
of ketchup and throw it
off that mountain
right into da ribber.
I don't like to hear that, Dad.
If JJ says it again,
I'm gonna throw
him in da ribber.
Oh, Thelma baby,
we're just teasing.
Now you all got me on
television advertising ketchup
when I don't even
know the product is,
and the man ain't
even called yet.
He'll call, Mama.
And when you get paid,
I could use $18
for a set of barbells.
There he goes again...
"Skinny Sam, the Gimme Man."
What barbells?
Mama, summer's coming
on. I need muscles.
When I put on a
T-shirt this summer,
I just don't want
to look like a "T."
Now listen, all y'all.
If your mother gets
some money, it's all hers.
And, baby, you can
spend it any way you like...
Gas bills, phone
bills, anything at all.
Thanks, James.
Now why don't we all get
our heads out of the cloud?
I'm still a mother
with a family,
and I'm late getting
dinner started.
Mama, did the man say
when he was gonna call you?
Well, he said he'll call by 4:00
if they was gonna use me.
It's ten after now. Ten after?
Well, I guess won't
become the Mrs. Olsen
of the projects.
You know, baby,
it's all for the best.
You start off doing
TV commercials,
the next thing you know,
you'll be putting your footprints
in the cement at
Grauman's Chinese Theatre.
While you're doing
that, I'll be in the back
of the crowd walking
your French poodles.
Oh, James!
Ain't no way in the world
for me to embarrass you
by asking you to walk
my French poodles.
I'll let the chauffeur do that.
Thank you.
You'll have to stay at home
and babysit with
my Siamese cats!
You crazy!
Hey, that'd be groovy,
being the son of a
famous movie star.
I'd have my own
Cadillac to drive down
and get my food stamps.
I don't think that's funny, JJ,
'cause if the man had called,
Mama would have had
a golden opportunity.
Dat's right.
You ought to learn
how to speak English.
That's enough of that. I
want you to stop arguing.
[EVERYONE TALKS AT ONCE]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
[RING]
[RING]
Answer the phone, baby!
Uh-uh, James.
[RING]
Hello.
Yes, this is the
Evans' household.
Mrs. Evans?
Sure, just one moment, please.
Baby, it's him!
Hello?
Yes, Mr. Moore.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Yes, I'll be home this evening.
Mm-hm.
How much did you say?
Oh, my. Yes.
Good-bye, Mr. Moore.
Mama, what did he say?
Somebody get me
a glass of water.
Junior, get your
mother a glass of water!
Come on, baby, sit down.
Tell me, what did he
say? What happened?
Well... he said I got the job!
He said I'll be selling a
new product called Vita Brite,
and it's a health tonic, and
they're going to send over
the script with
what I have to say.
And then, James,
he said something
I don't think I
heard right. What?
About how much they
was gonna pay me.
They said something
about repeats
and reruns and
re-something-or-other.
And then he said I
could make as much as...
$5,000!
Whoo! All right!
$5,000?
JAMES: Have mercy!
That's more than the
president of No Town makes!
I can't believe it! Junior,
give me that water.
Water? For a big star like Mama?
She ain't drinking nothing
but the best from now on...
Kool-Aid!
$5,000.
[GIGGLING]
[GASPING FOR
BREATH] H-Hi, folks.
This is Florida Evans, and I...
Oh, I won't be able to
do that! I just know I won't!
Oh, Mama, listen to me!
I've been going to the
Community Workshop Theater,
and I can teach you all
there is to know about acting.
Just follow my directions.
Thelma, don't try and
change your mama, hear?
The commercial man said
he wanted what she was,
and what she was is
what he's gonna get.
And believe me,
that's mighty good.
I know that, Dad,
but it won't hurt
for her to speak like a real
TV commercial announcer.
Now, Ma, here's a
great diction exercise.
Just do what I do and
repeat after me, okay?
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Come on, Ma.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
[WITH EXAGGERATED
ENUNCIATION] The br-own cow
has speck-led spots.
Come on, Mom, now you can do it.
Right from the
diaphragm. Come on.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
[WITH EXAGGERATED
ENUNCIATION] The br-own cow...
[MOUTHING ALONG WITH FLORIDA]
has speck-led spots.
That's all right!
That's all right!
I think we owe
it to the brothers
to make it the black cow.
Michael, it ain't gonna
make no difference.
Brown cow or black cow,
the milk is still
gonna come out white.
And the money we gonna make
is still gonna come out green.
Come on now, y'all, stop jiving
while I'm rehearsing Mommy.
You're making her nervous.
I don't need no help
in that department.
I'm already a wreck.
Oh, Mama.
Naw, besides, to be a TV star,
you got to be a real natural.
Now here's the way
you should do this spot.
Hi, y'all out there in TV land.
This is Florida Evans,
star of stage, screen
and the ghetto.
I'm here to tell you about
Vita Brite health tonic.
My husband James
used to have slow blood.
He would cut himself
shaving on Monday
and wouldn't bleed
until Thursday.
But now...
thanks to Vita
Brite health tonic,
my blood is fast, fast, fast.
Now I bleed all the time.
Thank you, husband James,
for that unsolicited testimony
for which the grateful
folks at Vita Brite
will send you an
additional check for $1,000.
And remember...
Vita Brite is dy-no-mite!
Now, Mama, when
you do the commercial,
you have to get into character.
So try and think of yourself
as an average
housewife with three kids.
One of which needs
a set of barbells
to be tall, tan and terrific.
And a hard-working husband.
Who could sure use the $5,000.
Boy, that's a lot
of money, baby.
Who would've ever thought
you'd be making that?
Well, now, James, wait a minute.
That $5,000 is put-away money.
That's for the children's
education and our old age.
I only hit the jackpot once,
but you're the one that
comes in with it every day.
Hey, I must be somebody
special too, huh?
I've just been kissed by a
lady that makes $5,000 a day.
Less $18 for a set of barbells.
JJ, don't you think of
anyone but yourself?
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Baby, that must be
the man with the script.
This is it, Mama.
Time to do it, 'cause
opportunity is knocking.
That's right.
Wait a minute, y'all.
Baby, it's the real
thing. Now come on.
Package for Miss Florida Evans.
Thank you.
Hey, wait a minute.
Do you use Vita Brite?
Day and night.
Damn, I'd hate to think
what he looked like
before he was using it.
Oh, Ma, that must
be the TV commercial.
Ooh.
This is your
passport to stardom!
Hollywood, here she comes!
Here, Ma, read it.
And when you do, remember
everything I taught you.
I'll try, honey,
but if they don't have nothing
in here about speckled cows,
we in a lot of trouble.
Come on, Ma, read
us the TV commercial,
and make believe
you really on TV.
"Hi... hi there...
"I'm... I'm Florida Evans
"here to tell you
about Vita Brite,
"America's wonderful
new health tonic.
"Make it a daily habit.
"Stop at your
favorite supermarket
"and pick up a..."
Oh... "Pick up a
6-pack of health."
Come on, baby,
you're doing great!
Yeah, you sound like you was
right here in the living room.
JJ, let Mama finish!
Go ahead, Mama.
"I used to wake up listless
"and tired every morning.
"And then my family
doctor suggested that I try..."
What family doctor?
All we got is a bottle of
iodine and three band-aids.
Baby, you sound real
good. Keep going. Come on.
"I have been using Vita Brite
"for three months and..."
James, I ain't been using
this stuff for three minutes.
I ain't never
even used it at all.
James, they got me telling lies.
Baby, it ain't lying.
It's called selling.
I don't care what you call it.
They hired me
for an honest face,
and I ain't gonna give
it a crooked mouth.
Mama, everybody knows that
what you see on TV isn't for real.
You think Redd Foxx really
makes his living from a junkyard?
Yeah, he's just playing the part
of a man who owns a junkyard.
Yeah, like you're playing
the part of a woman
who's been drinking Vita
Brite for three months.
It ain't lying,
Mama, it's acting.
You think Henry Fonda would lie?
What's he gotta do with it?
When you see him doing
those floor wax commercials,
do you think he really
waxes his own floors?
When his floors get dirty,
he just buys a new house!
And how about those
milk commercials?
How do we know Mark
Spitz really drinks milk
to build strong teeth?
How do we know he
even got strong teeth?
How do we even know
he's even got teeth?
And Joe Namath is doing those
pantyhose commercials now.
You think he really wears 'em?
Not in the locker room.
Baby, everybody knows
that what you see on TV
ain't exactly real.
I mean, like that
guy in the little boat
that goes sailing
around the toilet.
I ain't never seen no
yachtsman in our john.
And he's living dangerous.
One flush and
he's buried at sea.
Mama, it's not like you're
doing anything wrong.
All it is is a little white lie.
Thelma, when it comes
to lying, I am color blind.
They all look the same to me.
Now you kids are
just making excuses
'cause you're excited
about that $5,000.
Baby, there ain't nothing
wrong with having $5,000 now.
You said yourself
you wanted the money
for the kids' education.
Yeah, Ma, I want to be a lawyer.
And I want to become
a great actress!
And I'm torn between
a life as an artiste
and a great barbells man.
Look, kids, I want you
to have all those things,
even the barbells,
but I don't want you
going around saying,
"I owe it all to my
mother the liar."
Baby, I ain't gonna try
and talk you into nothing
that's gonna make you
go against your principles.
But, Florida, $5,000
is a lot of money.
And, baby, this is a
dog-eat-dog world out there,
and I'm tired of being
inside the dog looking out.
James, should there
be a price on truth?
I don't know, baby,
but for $5,000,
the price is right.
And besides,
it's a health tonic.
I mean, just 'cause you
ain't used it for three months
don't mean it might
not be good for folks.
Yeah, look what it did
to that little, scrawny
fella that delivered it.
Come on, baby, at least try it.
Yeah, here's a Vita Brite, Dad.
I'll get some glasses.
Huh? Oh, all right.
I wonder how much of this
stuff you're supposed to take.
Well, it can't hurt, baby.
It's a health tonic.
Give me a double.
I'm gonna be the
fastest blood in the west!
Smells pretty good.
Well, here's to you, baby!
Here's to Vita Brite.
It brings you health
and brings us wealth.
Hey...
Not bad.
Ooh, it makes me
warm and tingly all over.
I ain't felt like this
since I stopped drinking.
Wonder what they
got in this stuff.
"Vitamin C, Vitamin
D, "Vitamin E."
"18 percent alcohol."
18 percent alcohol?
James, Vita Brite is Vita Booze!
"Keep out of the
reach of children."
♪ Oh, tie a yellow ribbon ♪
♪ 'Round the old oak tree ♪
Michael!
Come here, son. Here, sit down.
♪ Do you still want me? ♪
It's gonna be all right.
We gonna take good
care of you. James?
Oh, he'll be all right, baby.
The best thing he can
do is just sleep it off.
Oh, James, we were getting so
turned around by all that money,
we got too busy to
look after our own kids.
♪ I get on the bus ♪
After drinking all that stuff,
it's a wonder you
can feel anything.
James, after seeing what
this stuff did to Michael,
there's no way I'm
gonna do that commercial.
You're right, Florida, and
I ain't got no argument.
Now hold on.
Somebody's gotta be the
voice of reason around here.
We finally got a chance
to get a piece of the action.
I'm not interested in no action
that's gonna sell 18 percent
booze as a health tonic.
It's only selling, Mama.
It's part of America.
Junior, this is
the Evans' house,
and your mother
ain't selling nothing
that's gonna put
11-year-old kids on skid row.
Now let's just worry
about your brother, huh?
Mama, I'm glad you're
not doing that commercial.
I can do it.
"Take Vita Brite
and sleep tight."
Yeah, he'll be all right, baby.
I'll put him in our room.
♪ Tie a yellow ribbon... ♪♪
WOMAN: So do what I do...
Give your family Kasey's
Korn Krinkles for breakfast.
Kasey's Korn
Krinkles are delicious
with sugar,
strawberries and cream.
Your family will love them.
With sugar,
strawberries and cream,
a bale of hay
would be delicious.
Mama, that could have
been you doing a commercial.
No way.
Mr. Moore said the
government wouldn't let them
advertise Vita
Brite on television.
Besides, if they did, I
know a much better person
than me to do that commercial.
Who's that?
Dean Martin!
♪ Fly me to the moon ♪
♪ Da-da-da ♪♪
Ha-ha!
♪♪♪
♪ Mmm ♪
♪ Just looking out
of the window ♪
♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪
♪ Thinking how it all
looks hand-me-down ♪
♪ Good Times Good times ♪
♪ Keeping your
head above water ♪
♪ Making a wave when you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
NARRATOR: Good Times is
recorded on tape before a live audience.
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good Times ♪♪
Television City in Hollywood:
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Any time you meet a payment ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Any time you meet a friend ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Any time you're
out from under ♪
♪ Not getting hassled,
not getting hustled ♪
♪ Keeping your
head above water ♪
♪ Making a wave when you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Easy credit rip-offs ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Scratching and surviving ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Hanging in a chow line ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good Times ♪♪
Hey, Daddy, listen to this.
Not now, Michael.
I got a big stack of
bills to get through.
Oh, let's see,
I'll pay this one,
stall this one,
have to argue about this one,
and this one I'm gonna
put in the funny papers.
Lord, would you look
at this electric bill?
This is ridiculous.
Has the gas bill
gone up too, Daddy?
Oh, not too bad.
At least if you can't afford
to pay the electric bill,
you can still put
your head in the oven.
I think all the poor people
ought to get together
and send letters of
protest to Washington.
No way, son.
They stopped us from doing
that by raising the price of stamps.
If things are getting
rough, Daddy,
maybe I can get a
part-time job after school.
So could I.
Oh, no. You guys just
concentrate on your education.
I'll take care of this family.
But thanks anyway, 'cause
I appreciate the thought.
You know, me and your
mama's still pretty lucky.
We're lucky too, Dad.
Yeah, we got ourselves
some wonderful kids.
Hey, Dad, I could use $18.
Well, two out of
three ain't bad.
What you need $18 for?
A set of barbells! Barbells?
Yeah, when I go to
the beach this summer,
I want to drive the girls crazy
with my massive body.
I don't know what
you want with barbells.
With that skinny
body and that big head
and those big feet,
you look like a barbell.
Go ahead, make fun of me, y'all.
But if I get those barbells,
I may get me a
job as a lifeguard.
And if I like it,
I may even learn how to swim.
Stop bumping your gums, will ya?
I got enough problems.
Hey, who made a
toll call to Oak Park?
Not me!
I got to go to the bathroom.
Junior, did you
make a toll call?
Well, Dad, see, what happened
is that I met this classy chick,
and when I called her, I
couldn't reverse the charges.
Otherwise, she would
have thought I was cheap.
I told her I was the
head of Motown.
I didn't lie, 'cause
actually what I told her
was that I was the
head of No Town.
Junior, I got a
fat phone bill here
that's a result of your
playing Casanova.
Now the next time
you make a toll call,
you and me gonna
go to knuckle junction.
The boss of No Town.
Willona, have I got
something to tell you.
The most exciting thing
happened at the supermarket.
I still can't believe it.
Let me guess.
They got in some
fresh meat by mistake?
No, I was standing in
the vegetable section,
you know, thumping
melons and squeezing lettuce
and squishing squash,
when this man walked over to me,
tapped me on my shoulder,
and said he was from
an advertising agency
that does TV commercials.
You're jiving. No!
He said he needed an honest face
to try to sell
their new product.
A TV commercial?
Ooh! What you say!
Rodney Allen Rippy,
eat your little heart out!
Hold on.
Oh, Florida, that's outta sight.
The only trouble is when
you're watching television,
you won't be able
to run to the john
during the commercial,
'cause it might be you.
Take it easy now. It's
nothing definite yet.
He said he had to look
at some other faces
before he decided.
Then how can you lose?
If he's looking for
an honest face,
he's not gonna find a more
honest face than yours.
Oh, Willona.
I mean it. You got
the perfect face.
You got the kind of face they
look for in commercials now.
You got that nice plain,
ordinary, everyday face.
Thanks, Willona.
I mean it. They
could look for a month
and not find a plainer
face than yours.
Florida Evans, you got
it made in the shade,
Miss TV Star.
Oh, that'll be the day
when they have Florida
Evans on television.
I got to go.
Well, I still say
they gonna pick you,
'cause when it comes
to a plain, ordinary face...
Willona, I heard you
the first five times.
What I mean is, Florida,
they couldn't have found
a more beautiful one.
Hi, folks.
Hey, Ma, let me help you.
Oh, thank you, baby.
Well, baby, you sure
was gone a long time.
James, I bet you
can't guess why.
Why?
The most exciting
thing happened!
I was standing in
the supermarket,
just standing there and
looking at the squash,
and a man asked me
to do a TV commercial.
What? You gonna
do a TV commercial?
You, Mama?
And why not?
This man was watching me
while I was walking
around at the market,
and he decided he
liked what he saw.
You ain't doing no
brassiere commercial.
James.
Ain't no wife of mine
advertising nothing
below the neck.
I'm sure he won't be calling me.
But anyway, he gave me his card
and told me he'd get in
touch with me if he needed me.
A card? Let me see it.
I'm an expert on cards, Mama.
Here it is.
Hey, look at that
fancy gold lettering.
Well, fancy or not, let's
not count our chickens.
I ain't got that job yet.
But, Mama, you said the
man was interested in you,
and they pay big
for commercials, Ma.
I'll bet you'll get
at least $100.
$100?
Mmm-mmm!
Yeah, they'll probably put
Mama in some long evening gown,
stick her on top of a mountain
with the wind blowing
through her hair.
Picks up a bottle of ketchup
and smacks her lips.
And says, "Mmm, dat's good!"
"Dat's good"?
It's a commercial. She
can't say, "dat's bad."
Mama's not going
to speak bad English
when she goes on television.
Right, Ma? Dat's right.
Ma, please!
Thelma, how you know they don't
want Mama to speak street talk?
Why you think they picked
a black woman anyway?
I don't care why
they picked her, JJ.
All I know is my mother
is not going to speak...
Thelma, baby,
don't worry about it.
If they let me go on television,
ain't no way I'm gonna use
anything else but good English.
That's right, baby. Your
mother's a proud black woman.
If they ask her to
say, "Dat's right,"
she'd take that bottle
of ketchup and throw it
off that mountain
right into da ribber.
I don't like to hear that, Dad.
If JJ says it again,
I'm gonna throw
him in da ribber.
Oh, Thelma baby,
we're just teasing.
Now you all got me on
television advertising ketchup
when I don't even
know the product is,
and the man ain't
even called yet.
He'll call, Mama.
And when you get paid,
I could use $18
for a set of barbells.
There he goes again...
"Skinny Sam, the Gimme Man."
What barbells?
Mama, summer's coming
on. I need muscles.
When I put on a
T-shirt this summer,
I just don't want
to look like a "T."
Now listen, all y'all.
If your mother gets
some money, it's all hers.
And, baby, you can
spend it any way you like...
Gas bills, phone
bills, anything at all.
Thanks, James.
Now why don't we all get
our heads out of the cloud?
I'm still a mother
with a family,
and I'm late getting
dinner started.
Mama, did the man say
when he was gonna call you?
Well, he said he'll call by 4:00
if they was gonna use me.
It's ten after now. Ten after?
Well, I guess won't
become the Mrs. Olsen
of the projects.
You know, baby,
it's all for the best.
You start off doing
TV commercials,
the next thing you know,
you'll be putting your footprints
in the cement at
Grauman's Chinese Theatre.
While you're doing
that, I'll be in the back
of the crowd walking
your French poodles.
Oh, James!
Ain't no way in the world
for me to embarrass you
by asking you to walk
my French poodles.
I'll let the chauffeur do that.
Thank you.
You'll have to stay at home
and babysit with
my Siamese cats!
You crazy!
Hey, that'd be groovy,
being the son of a
famous movie star.
I'd have my own
Cadillac to drive down
and get my food stamps.
I don't think that's funny, JJ,
'cause if the man had called,
Mama would have had
a golden opportunity.
Dat's right.
You ought to learn
how to speak English.
That's enough of that. I
want you to stop arguing.
[EVERYONE TALKS AT ONCE]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
[RING]
[RING]
Answer the phone, baby!
Uh-uh, James.
[RING]
Hello.
Yes, this is the
Evans' household.
Mrs. Evans?
Sure, just one moment, please.
Baby, it's him!
Hello?
Yes, Mr. Moore.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Yes, I'll be home this evening.
Mm-hm.
How much did you say?
Oh, my. Yes.
Good-bye, Mr. Moore.
Mama, what did he say?
Somebody get me
a glass of water.
Junior, get your
mother a glass of water!
Come on, baby, sit down.
Tell me, what did he
say? What happened?
Well... he said I got the job!
He said I'll be selling a
new product called Vita Brite,
and it's a health tonic, and
they're going to send over
the script with
what I have to say.
And then, James,
he said something
I don't think I
heard right. What?
About how much they
was gonna pay me.
They said something
about repeats
and reruns and
re-something-or-other.
And then he said I
could make as much as...
$5,000!
Whoo! All right!
$5,000?
JAMES: Have mercy!
That's more than the
president of No Town makes!
I can't believe it! Junior,
give me that water.
Water? For a big star like Mama?
She ain't drinking nothing
but the best from now on...
Kool-Aid!
$5,000.
[GIGGLING]
[GASPING FOR
BREATH] H-Hi, folks.
This is Florida Evans, and I...
Oh, I won't be able to
do that! I just know I won't!
Oh, Mama, listen to me!
I've been going to the
Community Workshop Theater,
and I can teach you all
there is to know about acting.
Just follow my directions.
Thelma, don't try and
change your mama, hear?
The commercial man said
he wanted what she was,
and what she was is
what he's gonna get.
And believe me,
that's mighty good.
I know that, Dad,
but it won't hurt
for her to speak like a real
TV commercial announcer.
Now, Ma, here's a
great diction exercise.
Just do what I do and
repeat after me, okay?
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Come on, Ma.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
[WITH EXAGGERATED
ENUNCIATION] The br-own cow
has speck-led spots.
Come on, Mom, now you can do it.
Right from the
diaphragm. Come on.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
[WITH EXAGGERATED
ENUNCIATION] The br-own cow...
[MOUTHING ALONG WITH FLORIDA]
has speck-led spots.
That's all right!
That's all right!
I think we owe
it to the brothers
to make it the black cow.
Michael, it ain't gonna
make no difference.
Brown cow or black cow,
the milk is still
gonna come out white.
And the money we gonna make
is still gonna come out green.
Come on now, y'all, stop jiving
while I'm rehearsing Mommy.
You're making her nervous.
I don't need no help
in that department.
I'm already a wreck.
Oh, Mama.
Naw, besides, to be a TV star,
you got to be a real natural.
Now here's the way
you should do this spot.
Hi, y'all out there in TV land.
This is Florida Evans,
star of stage, screen
and the ghetto.
I'm here to tell you about
Vita Brite health tonic.
My husband James
used to have slow blood.
He would cut himself
shaving on Monday
and wouldn't bleed
until Thursday.
But now...
thanks to Vita
Brite health tonic,
my blood is fast, fast, fast.
Now I bleed all the time.
Thank you, husband James,
for that unsolicited testimony
for which the grateful
folks at Vita Brite
will send you an
additional check for $1,000.
And remember...
Vita Brite is dy-no-mite!
Now, Mama, when
you do the commercial,
you have to get into character.
So try and think of yourself
as an average
housewife with three kids.
One of which needs
a set of barbells
to be tall, tan and terrific.
And a hard-working husband.
Who could sure use the $5,000.
Boy, that's a lot
of money, baby.
Who would've ever thought
you'd be making that?
Well, now, James, wait a minute.
That $5,000 is put-away money.
That's for the children's
education and our old age.
I only hit the jackpot once,
but you're the one that
comes in with it every day.
Hey, I must be somebody
special too, huh?
I've just been kissed by a
lady that makes $5,000 a day.
Less $18 for a set of barbells.
JJ, don't you think of
anyone but yourself?
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Baby, that must be
the man with the script.
This is it, Mama.
Time to do it, 'cause
opportunity is knocking.
That's right.
Wait a minute, y'all.
Baby, it's the real
thing. Now come on.
Package for Miss Florida Evans.
Thank you.
Hey, wait a minute.
Do you use Vita Brite?
Day and night.
Damn, I'd hate to think
what he looked like
before he was using it.
Oh, Ma, that must
be the TV commercial.
Ooh.
This is your
passport to stardom!
Hollywood, here she comes!
Here, Ma, read it.
And when you do, remember
everything I taught you.
I'll try, honey,
but if they don't have nothing
in here about speckled cows,
we in a lot of trouble.
Come on, Ma, read
us the TV commercial,
and make believe
you really on TV.
"Hi... hi there...
"I'm... I'm Florida Evans
"here to tell you
about Vita Brite,
"America's wonderful
new health tonic.
"Make it a daily habit.
"Stop at your
favorite supermarket
"and pick up a..."
Oh... "Pick up a
6-pack of health."
Come on, baby,
you're doing great!
Yeah, you sound like you was
right here in the living room.
JJ, let Mama finish!
Go ahead, Mama.
"I used to wake up listless
"and tired every morning.
"And then my family
doctor suggested that I try..."
What family doctor?
All we got is a bottle of
iodine and three band-aids.
Baby, you sound real
good. Keep going. Come on.
"I have been using Vita Brite
"for three months and..."
James, I ain't been using
this stuff for three minutes.
I ain't never
even used it at all.
James, they got me telling lies.
Baby, it ain't lying.
It's called selling.
I don't care what you call it.
They hired me
for an honest face,
and I ain't gonna give
it a crooked mouth.
Mama, everybody knows that
what you see on TV isn't for real.
You think Redd Foxx really
makes his living from a junkyard?
Yeah, he's just playing the part
of a man who owns a junkyard.
Yeah, like you're playing
the part of a woman
who's been drinking Vita
Brite for three months.
It ain't lying,
Mama, it's acting.
You think Henry Fonda would lie?
What's he gotta do with it?
When you see him doing
those floor wax commercials,
do you think he really
waxes his own floors?
When his floors get dirty,
he just buys a new house!
And how about those
milk commercials?
How do we know Mark
Spitz really drinks milk
to build strong teeth?
How do we know he
even got strong teeth?
How do we even know
he's even got teeth?
And Joe Namath is doing those
pantyhose commercials now.
You think he really wears 'em?
Not in the locker room.
Baby, everybody knows
that what you see on TV
ain't exactly real.
I mean, like that
guy in the little boat
that goes sailing
around the toilet.
I ain't never seen no
yachtsman in our john.
And he's living dangerous.
One flush and
he's buried at sea.
Mama, it's not like you're
doing anything wrong.
All it is is a little white lie.
Thelma, when it comes
to lying, I am color blind.
They all look the same to me.
Now you kids are
just making excuses
'cause you're excited
about that $5,000.
Baby, there ain't nothing
wrong with having $5,000 now.
You said yourself
you wanted the money
for the kids' education.
Yeah, Ma, I want to be a lawyer.
And I want to become
a great actress!
And I'm torn between
a life as an artiste
and a great barbells man.
Look, kids, I want you
to have all those things,
even the barbells,
but I don't want you
going around saying,
"I owe it all to my
mother the liar."
Baby, I ain't gonna try
and talk you into nothing
that's gonna make you
go against your principles.
But, Florida, $5,000
is a lot of money.
And, baby, this is a
dog-eat-dog world out there,
and I'm tired of being
inside the dog looking out.
James, should there
be a price on truth?
I don't know, baby,
but for $5,000,
the price is right.
And besides,
it's a health tonic.
I mean, just 'cause you
ain't used it for three months
don't mean it might
not be good for folks.
Yeah, look what it did
to that little, scrawny
fella that delivered it.
Come on, baby, at least try it.
Yeah, here's a Vita Brite, Dad.
I'll get some glasses.
Huh? Oh, all right.
I wonder how much of this
stuff you're supposed to take.
Well, it can't hurt, baby.
It's a health tonic.
Give me a double.
I'm gonna be the
fastest blood in the west!
Smells pretty good.
Well, here's to you, baby!
Here's to Vita Brite.
It brings you health
and brings us wealth.
Hey...
Not bad.
Ooh, it makes me
warm and tingly all over.
I ain't felt like this
since I stopped drinking.
Wonder what they
got in this stuff.
"Vitamin C, Vitamin
D, "Vitamin E."
"18 percent alcohol."
18 percent alcohol?
James, Vita Brite is Vita Booze!
"Keep out of the
reach of children."
♪ Oh, tie a yellow ribbon ♪
♪ 'Round the old oak tree ♪
Michael!
Come here, son. Here, sit down.
♪ Do you still want me? ♪
It's gonna be all right.
We gonna take good
care of you. James?
Oh, he'll be all right, baby.
The best thing he can
do is just sleep it off.
Oh, James, we were getting so
turned around by all that money,
we got too busy to
look after our own kids.
♪ I get on the bus ♪
After drinking all that stuff,
it's a wonder you
can feel anything.
James, after seeing what
this stuff did to Michael,
there's no way I'm
gonna do that commercial.
You're right, Florida, and
I ain't got no argument.
Now hold on.
Somebody's gotta be the
voice of reason around here.
We finally got a chance
to get a piece of the action.
I'm not interested in no action
that's gonna sell 18 percent
booze as a health tonic.
It's only selling, Mama.
It's part of America.
Junior, this is
the Evans' house,
and your mother
ain't selling nothing
that's gonna put
11-year-old kids on skid row.
Now let's just worry
about your brother, huh?
Mama, I'm glad you're
not doing that commercial.
I can do it.
"Take Vita Brite
and sleep tight."
Yeah, he'll be all right, baby.
I'll put him in our room.
♪ Tie a yellow ribbon... ♪♪
WOMAN: So do what I do...
Give your family Kasey's
Korn Krinkles for breakfast.
Kasey's Korn
Krinkles are delicious
with sugar,
strawberries and cream.
Your family will love them.
With sugar,
strawberries and cream,
a bale of hay
would be delicious.
Mama, that could have
been you doing a commercial.
No way.
Mr. Moore said the
government wouldn't let them
advertise Vita
Brite on television.
Besides, if they did, I
know a much better person
than me to do that commercial.
Who's that?
Dean Martin!
♪ Fly me to the moon ♪
♪ Da-da-da ♪♪
Ha-ha!
♪♪♪
♪ Mmm ♪
♪ Just looking out
of the window ♪
♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪
♪ Thinking how it all
looks hand-me-down ♪
♪ Good Times Good times ♪
♪ Keeping your
head above water ♪
♪ Making a wave when you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs ♪
♪ Good Times ♪
NARRATOR: Good Times is
recorded on tape before a live audience.
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪
♪ Good Times ♪♪