Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 2, Episode 5 - The Fungal Gourmet - full transcript

THIS BIG OLD
WORLD OF OURS

SUFFERS NO SHORTAGE
OF EDIBLE ODDITIES.

CONSIDER THE ROAST
GUINEA PIGS OF PERU

OR ZANZIBAR'S ANT PIES,

THE BIRD NEST SOUPS
OF SOUTHEAST ASIA.

IF I TOLD YOU WHAT TACOS WERE
ORIGINALLY MEANT TO HOLD,

YOU'D NEVER LOOK AT A BAIT
SHOP THE SAME WAY AGAIN.

AND YET THE WEIRDEST
FOOD OF ALL

MAY JUST BE LURKING IN YOUR
REFRIGERATOR RIGHT NOW,

OR AT THE VERY LEAST,
YOUR BACKYARD.

MUSHROOMS, LIKE THIS
AGARICUS BI-SPOROUS



ARE STRANGE FEED INDEED.

A FUNGUS ONCE
SINISTER YET SUBLIME,

THEY KIND OF OCCUPY
THAT MIDDLE GROUND

BETWEEN MEAT AND
VEGETABLE, BETWEEN
SCIENCE AND SUPERSTITION,

BETWEEN THE PIT
OF MAN'S STOMACH

AND THE SUMMIT OF HIS
CULINARY KNOWLEDGE.

AND YET WITH THE RIGHT
CARE AND SIMPLE COOKING,

WELL, MUSHROOMS ARE
WELCOMED CITIZENS

IN THAT ZONE WE'RE PROUD
TO CALL "GOOD EATS."

WEIRD THOUGH IT MAY BE,

THE MUSHROOM ACTUALLY HAS
MORE IN COMMON WITH AN APPLE

THAN ATHLETE'S FOOT.

THAT'S BECAUSE, LIKE AN APPLE,
A MUSHROOM IS A FRUITING BODY--

KIND OF SEED
DELIVERY DEVICE.



ONLY THE TREE HAPPENS
TO BE EMBEDDED

EITHER IN THE GROUND
OR AN OLD LOG,

WHATEVER IT HAPPENS
TO BE GROWING ON.

NOW THESE UNDERGROUND
TREES CALLED MYCELIUM

CAN LIVE FOR 100 YEARS AND CAN
COVER UP TO AN ACRE OF LAND,

WHICH MAKES THEM
SOME OF THE LARGEST

LIVING CREATURES ON EARTH.

LIKE MOST VEGETABLES, MUSHROOMS
CONTINUE TO BREATHE POSTHARVEST,

BUT UNLIKE, SAY, LETTUCE,

MUSHROOMS DON'T LIKE
HOLDING THEIR BREATH.

LOCKED AWAY IN PLASTIC, ANY
MUSHROOM WORTH ITS CAP

IS GOING TO SWEAT
ITSELF TO GOOINESS

IN A MATTER OF HOURS.

ON THE OTHER HAND, THEY
DRYOUT EASILY TOO.

SO THE BEST WE CAN DO
IS PLAY THE MIDDLE.

AS SOON AS I GET THEM HOME, I
SEAL MINE IN A SMALL PAPER BAG.

NOW PAPER IS A GOOD CHOICE,

BECAUSE IT HOLDS
ON TO MOISTURE

WHILE LETTING
AIR PASS THROUGH.

EVEN IN HERE, THOUGH, MUSHROOMS
ARE GOING TO GO CRAZY

IN THREE OR FOUR DAYS.

SO USE THEM AS
SOON AS YOU CAN.

IF YOU INSIST ON KEEPING
THEM IN THEIR LITTLE BUCKET,

AT LEAST GIVE THEM
A FEW AIR HOLES.

LASTLY, DON'T WASH THEM

UNTIL YOU'RE READY TO
COOK THE MUSHROOMS.

WHAT IS ZIS CRAZINESS
YOU SPEAK ABOUT?

ZE CHAMPIGNON MUST
NEVER TOUCH ZE WATERRE.

YEAH, YEAH,
YEAH.

I HOPE HE KNOWS
THIS MEANS WAR.

WE'VE ALL HEARD THAT
TIRED OLD KITCHEN MYTH

THAT WASHING MUSHROOMS
WATERLOGS THEM,

RENDERING THEM....
INEDIBLE,
THAT'S IT.

WELL, THE
WAY WE SEE IT,

A FRESH MUSHROOM
IS ALREADY LIKE
A SATURATED SPONGE.

SO IN ORDER TO
WATERLOG IT, YOU'D
HAVE TO SOAK IT

IN A LOT MORE WATER
THAN IT WOULD TAKE

TO JUST GIVE IT
A GOOD BATH.

RIDICULOUS.
TO PROVE THE POINT,

I'M GOING TO WASH
THESE MUSHROOMS

WHILE MY RAVING
FRENCH COLLEAGUE

CLEANS THE EXACT
SAME AMOUNT HIS WAY...

THE BRUSH.

JUST TO KEEP THINGS
COMPLETELY SCIENTIFIC,

WE WILL GIVE
MINE A WEIGH

BOTH PRE- AND
POST-WASH.

SO WE WILL KNOW IF
WATER HAS BEEN
ABSORBED.

WE'VE GOT
32 OUNCES,

OR TWO POUNDS,
INCLUDING THE BOWL.

NOW CHEF, JUST TO MAKE
YOU FEEL MORE AT HOME,

WE'VE ENLISTED THE AID
OF A KITCHEN APPRENTICE

FOR YOU TO
SQUAWK AT.
OH, THAT'S VERY
THOUGHTFUL OF YOU!

LET'S DO IT.
ALLEZ (snap!)
LET'S GO!

(whistling)

FASTER!

I AM FINI! WHERE
IS THAT SHOEMAKER?

WHAT, TIME TO
WEIGH IN ALREADY?

WELL, IT SEEMS THAT
MY MUSHROOMS,

WHICH WERE CLEANED
AN HOUR AGO,

HAVE PICKED UP A HEFTY
TWO OUNCES OF WATER.

AH, THERE,
YOU SEE, I WIN.

NOT SO FAST,
FRENCHY.

BESIDES THE FACT
THAT TWO OUNCES

HARDLY QUALIFIES
AS WATERLOGGED,

I DO DECLARE I SPY
A PIECE OF DIRT.

AAAHHHH!

IN DAYS OF YORE, FOOD
SCRIBES DESCRIBED MUSHROOMS

AS VEGETABLE MEAT.

THEY MAY HAVE BEEN OFF
THE MARK BOTANICALLY,

BUT THEY WERE DEAD
ON CULINARILY,

BECAUSE THE SECRET TO
COOKING MUSHROOMS

IS TO TREAT THEM
LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT.

AND TO US, THAT MEANS HOT,
FAST, DRY COOKING METHODS

LIKE BROILING, ROASTING,
AND SAUTéING.

NOW LITERALLY TRANSLATED,
SAUTé MEANS "JUMP" IN FRENCH,

BUT SPECIFICALLY, IT MEANS...

NOW THE FIRST KEY TO
SUCCESSFUL SAUTéING

IS UNIFORMITY OF SIZE,

WHICH IS WHY I'M CUTTING
ALL MY CREMINI MUSHROOMS

INTO EXACTLY 1/4-
INCH-THICK SLICES.

NOW GRANTED,

I'VE DONE A GOOD BIT OF
KNIFE WORK OVER THE YEARS,

AND HEY, PRACTICE
DOES MAKE PERFECT.

OKAY, SO I CHEAT.

SO DON'T HATE ME JUST
BECAUSE I'M LAZY.

BUT THE TRUTH IS
IS THAT AN EGG SLICER

REALLY IS THE PERFECT TOOL FOR
CUTTING UP MEATY MUSHROOMS

LIKE CREMINIS AND
WHITE BUTTONS.

NOW IF YOU'RE USING WOODIER-
STEMMED MUSHROOMS,

LIKE SHIITAKES, JUST USE
YOUR KITCHEN SHEARS...

BEATS A KNIFE ANY DAY.

OKAY, NUMBER TWO, HEAVY
PAN, HIGH HEAT.

I GUESS THAT'S TWO
AND THREE, ACTUALLY.

HEAVY PANS ARE DENSE,

AND DENSE MEANS THAT
WHEN FOOD HITS THE PAN,

THE HEAT WILL BE
MAINTAINED.

THAT'S HOW BROWNING
GETS DONE.

ORDINARILY I WOULD DO
THIS IN CAST-IRON,

BUT WATCHING MUSHROOMS
COOK ON A BLACK SURFACE

IS KIND OF LIKE
TAKING A NAP.

SO I'M USING A
TRADITIONAL SAUTé PAN.

IT'S NAMED FOR THE JOB,
BECAUSE THESE STRAIGHT SIDES

PROVIDE FOR THE WIDEST
POSSIBLE COOKING AREA.

THIS GOES OVER HIGH HEAT.

THAT LEADS US TO
RULE NUMBER FOUR,

CHOOSE THE RIGHT FAT.

NOW WE NEED A HIGH SMOKE
POINT TO PREVENT BURNING,

BUT SINCE MUSHROOMS ARE
ABSORBENT LITTLE SUCKERS,

FLAVOR WOULD BE GOOD TOO.

NOW OLIVE OIL WOULD
BE OKAY FOR THE JOB,

SO WOULD BACON DRIPPINGS.

BUT AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,
SAUTéING GOES BEST

WITH BUTTER.

I KNOW, YOU'RE SAYING BUTTER
HAS A LOW SMOKE POINT.

WELL, YOU'RE RIGHT,
IT DOES,

UNLESS IT'S BEEN CLARIFIED.

DON'T HAVE TIME TO BOTHER?
I'LL MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU.

IF I CAN EXPLAIN
IT IN ONE BREATH,

YOU'LL DO IT, OKAY?

FINE, I MUST PREPARE...

(deep breathing)

... DEPENDING ON THE WATER.

SEE THAT WAS A BRE...

(thud)

UH, JUST PUT AN OUNCE OF
THAT BUTTER IN THE PAN.

I'M GOING TO CATCH MY
BREATH A LITTLE BIT, OKAY?

YOU'LL KNOW WHEN IT'S READY
WHEN IT RIPPLES ON THE SURFACE.

OVERCROWDED PANS

ARE THE NUMBER ONE
CAUSE OF FAILED SAUTéS.

YOU SEE, IF THE FOOD'S
ALL PILED UP IN THERE,

THEN IT CAN'T
TOUCH THE PAN.

AND IF IT DOESN'T
TOUCH THE PAN,

IT CAN'T UNDERGO
BROWNING...

THAT MIRACULOUS
SET OF REACTIONS

THAT CREATE
FLAVOR AND TEXTURE

AND THAT, WELL, NEITHER
SCIENCE NOR PHYSICS

HAS BEEN ABLE TO
EXPLAIN... HAVE YOU?

COME ON GUYS, BLIND
ME WITH SCIENCE.

LAB PUNKS.

NOW YOU SEE HERE, MOISTURE
IS ALREADY SEEPING

OUT OF THESE MUSHROOMS,
BUT THE PAN IS SO HOT

THAT IT'S EVAPORATING THE
SECOND THAT IT HITS THE FAT.

YOU HEAR THAT SOUND?

AH, THAT IS THE
MUSIC OF THE SAUTé.

THAT MEANS THE MOISTURE
IS BEING PULLED OUT--

IT'S GETTING OUT OF
THE PAN IN VAPOR FORM.

THAT MEANS A CRUST IS
GOING TO BE FORMING

ON THIS FOOD IN
NO TIME FLAT.

AS LONG AS YOU HEAR THAT
SOUND, YOU ARE SAUTéING.

NOW YOU WANT TO KEEP
THINGS MOVING AROUND,

JUST KIND OF TURNING
THINGS OVER.

BUT WHAT YOU WANT TO AVOID

IS THAT FLASHY, KIND OF,
RESTAURANT BUSINESS

OF TOSSING THE FOOD
AROUND IN THE AIR,

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW WHAT?

UNLESS YOU'RE
INSIDE AN OVEN,

FOOD DOESN'T COOK IN THE AIR...
AND WE'RE NOT IN AN OVEN, OKAY?

JUST TURN THINGS OVER.

SEE, THIS IS ALREADY STARTING
TO GET A CRUST ON IT.

THAT IS WHAT
SAUTé IS ALL ABOUT.

IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THIS
WAS A PORKCHOP OR SHRIMP,

THAT IS THE EXACT THING
THAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR.

AS SOON AS THE FIRST
BATCH STARTS TO TAKE ON

A REALLY NICE
COLOR, LIKE THIS,

PUSH IT OUT TO THE
PERIMETER OF THE PAN.

JUST GET IT OUT TO
THE COOLEST AREA--

IT'S KIND OF LIKE MOVING
OUT TO THE SUBURBS--

AND LEAVE ROOM RIGHT IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE PAN

FOR THE NEXT ADDITION...

JUST ANOTHER HANDFUL.

I USUALLY GET ABOUT
FOUR HANDFULS TO A PAN,

BUT I MAKE EACH ADDITION
JUST A LITTLE SMALLER

THAN THE ONE BEFORE, AGAIN,
BECAUSE OF OVERCROWDING.

DID YOU KNOW THAT RUSSIANS
ARE SO MUSHROOM CRAZY

THAT THEY ACTUALLY HAVE A
WORD FOR "MUSHROOM CRAZY"?

RASZH.

THEY ACTUALLY SAY THAT LENIN
HAD A REAL SERIOUS RASZH (rash),

WHICH I THINK IS
KIND OF FUNNY!

THAT'S JUST ME... ANYWAY,

FIGHT THE DESIRE TO
TURN THE HEAT DOWN.

YOU MAY THINK THAT THINGS
ARE ABOUT TO BURN,

BUT BELIEVE ME,
THEY'RE NOT,

BECAUSE AS LONG AS
YOU HEAR THAT SIZZLING--

AND I STILL HEAR SIZZLING--
THEN THERE'S WATER IN THERE.

AS SOON AS THE SIZZLING STOPS,
THAT'S WHEN BURNING CAN HAPPEN.

OF COURSE, WE DON'T
WANT TO STRANGLE

EVERY LITTLE BIT OF JUICE
OUT OF THE MUSHROOMS,

OR THEY'LL BE LIKE
SHOE LEATHER.

SO JUST WATCH FOR THE
COLOR ON THE OUTSIDE.

OKAY, TIME FOR
ANOTHER ADDITION,

SO I'M GOING TO MOVE
EVERYTHING BACK OUT TO
THE SIDES OF THE PAN

AND IT'S STARTING TO LOOK
A LITTLE BIT DRY IN THERE,

SO I'M GOING TO ADD JUST
A FEW DROPS OF BUTTER

RIGHT TO THE MIDDLE OF
THE PAN, LIKE THAT,

AND GO WITH
ANOTHER HANDFUL.

THIS ONE'S A LITTLE BIT SMALLER
THAN THE ONE BEFORE... THERE.

NOW AS SOON AS YOU'VE GOT THE
FINAL ADDITION IN THE PAN,

IT'S OKAY TO GO
AHEAD AND SEASON.

UP TO THIS POINT, YOU WOULDN'T
WANT TO THROW SALT IN THERE,

BECAUSE ONE SMALL
GROUP OF THE MUSHROOMS

WOULD TAKE IT ALL AND
LEAVE NONE FOR THE REST.

SO I'M GOING TO ADD A PINCH
OF KOSHER SALT RIGHT NOW.

AND BE SURE TO SCATTER
IT VERY EVENLY.

DON'T DUMP IT IN ONE PLACE.

I'M ALSO GOING TO OPEN UP
A LITTLE HOLE RIGHT THERE

FOR ABOUT A TABLESPOON
OF SHALLOT,

JUST MINCED, CHOPPED UP,
RIGHT THERE IN THE MIDDLE.

TOSS IT IN WITH THE
REST OF THE MUSHROOMS.

EVERYTHING IS GETTING TO A
GOOD, EVEN COOKING POINT.

IN THE MIDDLE,
OVER THE HIGH HEAT,

THEY'RE STILL A LITTLE ON
THE UNDERDONE SIDE,

BUT OUT ACROSS THE SIDES
HERE, IN THE SUBURBS,

THINGS ARE LOOKING
REALLY GOOD.

NOW ONCE THE HEAT HAS WRUNG
OUT MOST OF THE MOISTURE,

THE PAN'S GOING TO DARKEN WITH
KIND OF STUCK MUSHROOM GUTS.

IT'S TIME TO DEGLAZE
WITH A JIGGER OF COGNAC.

JUST POUR IT RIGHT INTO
THE MIDDLE OF THE PAN.

THERE.

NOW JUST KIND OF
SCRAPE AROUND.

WE'VE DONE SOME
DEGLAZING BEFORE,

BUT IT'S ALWAYS BEEN
IN ROASTING PANS,

AFTER THE FOOD'S
BEEN REMOVED.

IN THIS CASE, YOU
WANT TO DEGLAZE

WITH THE MUSHROOMS
IN THE PAN,

SO THAT ONCE THE
LIQUID HAS DISSOLVED

ALL THOSE NICE BROWN BITS, THE
FOND ON THE BOTTOM OF THE PAN,

THEN THE SAUCE CAN JUST JUMP
RIGHT BACK ONTO THE MUSHROOMS,

COATING THEM.

I'M GOING TO FINISH THIS
WITH A LITTLE HERB...

A LITTLE CHIVE, AND
SOME GRINDS OF PEPPER.

TIME TO GET OUT OF THE PAN.

GOOD-LOOKING STUFF AND
DARN VERSATILE, TOO.

NOW BESIDES PLAYING SIDEMAN
TO EVERY MAJOR ENTRéE

FROM STEAK TO SCRAMBLED,

SAUTéED MUSHROOMS CAN FUEL
A PLETHORA OF OTHER DISHES,

FROM MUSHROOM SOUP
TO MEAT LOAF.

NOW JUST ABOUT ANY
MUSHROOM IS SAUTéABLE,

AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T
HAVE A THICK, WOODY STEM.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,
ONE OF MY FAVORITES

IS THE ASIAN NEWCOMER,
THE SHIITAKE.

IT'S JAPANESE
FOR "WOOD-GROWN."

YOU SEE, SHIITAKES DON'T
DO DIRT, THEY DO LOGS.

IN FACT, IF YOU WERE
TO PICK UP AN OAK LOG

THAT A SHIITAKE COLONY
HAD FINISHED WITH,

YOU NOTICE THAT IT
FEELS LIKE BALSA--

THERE'S JUST NOTHING LEFT.

NOW WE'VE WORKED UP A PRETTY
GOOD APPETITE FOR SHIITAKES

OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS.

PROBLEM IS IS THAT ONCE A
LOG HAS BEEN INOCULATED,

IT TAKES YEARS TO FRUIT,

WHICH JUST ISN'T FAST
ENOUGH FOR OUR DEMAND.

SO THE ANSWER... FAUX LOGS--

WOODCHIP COMPOSITES WITH
'SHROOM SPORE AND 'SHROOM CHOW

ALREADY IN THE MIX.

CUTS YEARS TO WEEKS.

HAVING MADE THE
ULTIMATE SACRIFICE,

OUR ADOBE FRIEND OVER THERE IS
ON HIS WAY TO THE COMPOST HEAP,

BUT WE GOT A NICE
PANFUL OF SHIITAKES.

THE VERY SAME DISH, IN FACT,
THAT WE DID WITH THE CREMINIS,

EXCEPT NOW WE USE
THE STEMMED SHIITAKES.

SO IT'S A SLIGHTLY
DIFFERENT DISH.

NOW AS DELICIOUS
AS THIS SAUTEé IS,

YOU KNOW, I'M REALLY JUST NOT
IN THE MOOD FOR IT ANYMORE.

SO I THINK I'M GOING TO
TURN IT INTO A PASTE

BY ADDING ABOUT 1/3 CUP OF HEAVY
CREAM RIGHT TO THE HOT PAN.

NOW SINCE IT'S GOT A
LOT MORE FAT IN IT

THEN, SAY, WHIPPING
CREAM OR HALF AND HALF,

IT'S GOING TO
THICKEN MUCH FASTER,

BECAUSE THERE'S LESS
MOISTURE TO EVAPORATE OFF.

ALSO, THINK I'M GOING
TO TOSS IN,

OOOHHH, A QUARTER OF A CUP
OF SHREDDED PARMESAN.

PART OF THAT'S FOR FLAVOR,
BUT IT'LL ALSO THICKEN TOO,

BECAUSE IT MELTS AND
THOSE PROTEINS UNCOIL

AND REACH OUT FOR
OTHER THINGS.

NOW JUST ABOUT 30 SECONDS
OVER HIGH HEAT,

AND THIS WILL TIGHTEN
UP CONSIDERABLY.

WHILE WE'RE AT IT,
THINK I'M GOING TO ADD

A LITTLE BIT MORE
FLAVOR, TO BOOT.

I'M GOING TO GO WITH ABOUT A
TEASPOON OF DRIED TARRAGON.

NOW TARRAGON IS KIND OF THE
MUSHROOM HERB OF CHOICE,

BOTH IN FRANCE AND RUSSIA.

OH, AND RUSSIA... DID I MENTION
LENIN HAD A REALLY BAD RASZH?

I MENTIONED THAT, DIDN'T I?

OKAY, STIR A
COUPLE OF TIMES.

IT'S ALREADY THICKENED UP.

AND WE'RE GOING TO
GET IT OFF THE HEAT,

BECAUSE IF IT OVERCOOKS, THE
CHEESE WILL DEFINITELY BREAK.

NOW THE NEXT STEP
TO MAKING A PASTE

WILL BE TO BIND THIS UP,

AND MY FAVORITE BINDER
IS BREADCRUMBS.

GOING TO SPRINKLE
ON JUST ENOUGH

TO COVER THE SURFACE
OF THE MUSHROOMS

AND THEN STIR THAT IN.

THE REASON THAT BREADCRUMBS
BIND SO WELL IS,

WELL, ONE, THEY HAVE A VERY
KIND OF ABRASIVE SHAPE.

THEY'VE GOT LIKE THESE PITONS
THAT GO OFF IN EVERY DIRECTION,

AND THAT KIND OF STICKS INTO THE
FOOD AND HOLDS IT TOGETHER.

AND THEY'RE EXTREMELY
ABSORBENT,

SO THEY'LL SOAK
UP ANY MOISTURE

THAT TRIES TO SEEP IN
OR OUT OF THE FILLING.

IT IS NOW A DELICIOUS
AND STABLE FILLER.

BUT WE REALLY DON'T HAVE
ANYTHING TO FILL, DO WE?

I DON'T KNOW, IF WE COULD FIND
SOMETHING AROUND HERE, MAYBE...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT.

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO FILL?

OH, THAT'S CRAZY TALK.

YOU WANT TO PUT
MUSHROOMS INSIDE MUSHROOMS?

THAT'S CRAZY...
YOU CAN'T...

WELL, THEY DO HAVE A
PRETTY GOOD SHAPE.

THEY GOT A NICE
LITTLE POCKET THERE

THAT WE COULD PUT
THE FILLING...

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT,
THIS ISN'T GOING TO WORK...

THESE ARE RAW,
THAT'S COOKED.

BY THE TIME THESE DID COOK,
THE MOISTURE WOULD COME OUT.

THAT STUFF WOULD FLOAT AWAY.

IT WOULD BE COMPLETELY...

ROAST THEM, HUH?

ROAST THEM BEFORE WE FILL
THEM... THAT COULD WORK.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT... IF WE'RE
GONNA PUSH HEAT INTO THESE,

WE MIGHT AS WELL ADD A
LITTLE BIT OF FLAVOR

WHILE WE'RE AT IT.

SO YOU KNOW WHAT, I THINK I'LL
GET LIKE A BIG, BIG, BIG BOWL.

SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

AND WE'LL JUST PUT ABOUT TEN OF
THESE IN HERE, ALL RIGHT?

JUST KIND OF A BIG CLUSTER,

AND WE'LL DRIZZLE
THOSE WITH SOME OIL.

OKAY, A LITTLE OIL, MAYBE
A TABLESPOON OF OLIVE OIL.

KIND OF TOSS THAT AROUND AND
HEY, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT,

WE'VE GOT SOME HERBS TOO.

SAY A TEASPOON OF ROSEMARY,
AND THYME--

THYME'S ON OUR SIDE, RIGHT?--
A TEASPOON OF THYME

AND A COUPLE CLOVES
OF GARLIC, CRUSHED.

NOW WHY DON'T YOU
KICK THE OVEN ON--

350 I THINK WILL BE FINE.

NOW ONCE WE'VE GOT THESE
ALL KIND OF HERBED UP

AND LUBED DOWN,

WE NEED TO PUT SOMETHING,
PUT THEM ON SOMETHING.

HEY, I KNOW.

BAKING SHEET WITH
A COOLING RACK.

THAT WILL ALLOW THE MOISTURE TO
FALL AWAY FROM THE MUSHROOMS,

SO THEY WON'T WATERLOG.

JUST PUT THEM UPSIDE-DOWN, SO
THE EXTRA MOISTURE RUNS OFF.

JUST LINE THEM UP ON
THE PAN LIKE THAT.

THEN SCOOP UP THE
REST OF THE HERBS

AND JUST SPRINKLE
RIGHT ACROSS THE TOP.

YEAH, THAT'LL WORK.

NOW AS FAR AS LENGTH OF TIME...

WE DON'T WANT THESE
THINGS TO COOK TOO LONG,

'CAUSE THEY'RE GOING TO COOK
AGAIN ONCE THEY'RE STUFFED.

SO WHY DON'T WE GO WITH
ABOUT, WELL LET'S SEE,

WE WANT THEM TO BE KIND OF
AL DENTE, RIGHT?

I MEAN BASICALLY YOU'LL
KNOW THEY'RE DONE

WHEN YOU TAKE THE TIP
OF A PARING KNIFE

AND KIND OF JUST PUSH
INTO THE MUSHROOM,

AND THEN IT'LL SLIDE
OUT NICE AND EASY.

THAT'S HOW YOU
KNOW THEY'RE DONE.

I'M FIGURING
TEN MINUTES, TOPS.

(whistling)

WELL, I SAID
TEN MINUTES, TOPS.

THEY WERE DONE IN EIGHT.

YOU SEE, SOMETIMES
TIME'S NOT ON YOUR SIDE,

AND YOU'VE GOT TO ACTUALLY
LOOK AT THE FOOD.

SO ANYWAY, HERE WE ARE.

PRETTY CUT AND DRIED
FROM HERE, REALLY.

JUST KIND OF MOUND
A TABLESPOON'S WORTH,

KIND OF RIGHT ON TOP
OF THAT LITTLE CAVITY.

YOU DON'T WANT TO PUSH DOWN,

OR THE FILLING WILL
JUST KIND OF PACK,

AND IT WILL TAKE ON
A REALLY BAD TEXTURE,

AND IT WILL ALSO
COOK VERY SLOWLY.

SO, THERE...
UH, ONE LAST TOUCH...

MORE BREADCRUMBS.

THIS IS GOING TO HELP FORM A
CRUST ON TOP OF THE FILLING,

AND IT'LL ALSO TAKE SOME
COLOR FROM THE BROILER.

OH, WHILE YOU WERE
WATCHING THE CLOCK,

I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF MOVING
THE RACK UP ONE LEVEL

AND TURNING ON THE BROILER.

SO THIS IS DONE.

BACK INTO THE OVEN IT GOES,

BUT THIS TIME, I REALLY
SUGGEST THAT YOU DON'T
LOOK AT THE CLOCK.

YOU'VE GOT TO WATCH
THESE THINGS,

BECAUSE AS SOON AS THE FILLING
BUBBLES A LITTLE BIT

AND THE TOP BROWNS,
THEY ARE DONE.

SO DON'T GO AWAY.

NO, REALLY, YOU NEED
TO WATCH THE MUSHROOMS.

NOW DESPITE THE FACT

THAT COMPUTERIZED
REFRIGERATED TRUCKS

AND PONY-EXPRESS-STYLE
DRIVER SWAPPING

ARE GETTING 'SHROOMS TO THE
STORE QUICKER THAN EVER,

IT STILL PAYS TO BE
VIGILANT RIGHT HERE.

FOR INSTANCE, DON'T ASSUME

THAT BULK WHOLE LOOSE
MUSHROOMS ARE ANY FRESHER

THAN MUSHROOMS THAT
ARE PACKAGED.

SEE, IT ALL COMES DOWN TO
WHAT SELLS THE QUICKEST

AND GETS RESTOCKED MOST
OFTEN IN YOUR STORE.

BUT I WILL SAY THIS--

IF YOU SEE CONDENSATION INSIDE
THE PACKAGE, BEWARE.

SAME GOES FOR
UNREFRIGERATED MUSHROOMS

OR MUSHROOMS THAT ARE, HEAVEN
FORBID, UNDER THE MISTER.

AS FOR PRESLICED MUSHROOMS
OR PRESLICED ANYTHING

SHORT OF LOAF BREAD,

JUST LET ME REMIND YOU,
QUALITY AND CONVENIENCE

ARE RARELY SEEN
HOLDING HANDS.

FORAGING FOR MUSHROOMS
IS A LOT OF FUN.

AND HECK, ANY TIME YOU
CAN GO OUT IN THE WOODS
AND FIND FREE FOOD,

IT'S GOT TO BE A
GOOD THING, RIGHT?

TROUBLE IS, IF YOU DON'T
KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING,

AND I MEAN REALLY KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING,

YOU'RE BASICALLY PLAYING
BOTANICAL RUSSIAN ROULETTE.

BECAUSE SOONER OR LATER YOU'RE
GOING TO GET AHOLD OF A BAD CAP,

AND IF THAT CAP HAPPENS TO BE,
SAY, THE EXTREMELY COMMON,

YET DECEPTIVELY DOCILE-
LOOKING, DEATH CAP,

THEN YOU'RE GOING
TO END UP CONSUMING

A WIDE RANGE OF TOXINS,

SOME OF WHICH HAVE THE
HABIT OF THINGS LIKE,

SAY, DISSOLVING YOUR LIVER
INTO A LITTLE PUDDLE OF GOO,

WHICH I HEAR DOESN'T
FEEL VERY GOOD.

TO AVOID THAT, HERE
ARE YOUR OPTIONS...

YOU EITHER TAKE THE TIME
AND GET THE TRAINING

TO BECOME AN
EXPERIENCED MYCOLOGIST,

YOU FORAGE WITH AN
EXPERIENCED MYCOLOGIST,

OR YOU GO AHEAD AND SET A PLACE
AT THE TABLE FOR JOE BLACK.

BUT I ASSURE YOU, DEATH DOESN'T
LOOK ANY MORE LIKE BRAD PITT

THAN I DO.

NOW SINCE I AM DECIDEDLY NOT
AN EXPERIENCED MYCOLOGIST,

I STICK WITH STORE-
BOUGHT MUSHROOMS.

NOW BESIDES RIBOFLAVIN
AND POTASSIUM,

MUSHROOMS CONTAIN
HIGH CONCENTRATIONS

OF GLUTAMIC ACID,

A KIND OF CHEMICAL COUSIN
TO MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE.

THAT MEANS THAT, BESIDES
TASTING
GREAT ALL ON THEIR OWN,

MUSHROOMS ACTUALLY HAVE THE
ABILITY TO TURN UP THE FLAVORS

OF THE FOODS THAT ARE
COOKED WITH THEM.

PRETTY COOL, HUH?

I HOPE THAT WE'VE TURNED UP YOUR
INTEREST IN MUSHROOM COOKERY.

IF YOU'RE A FUNGAL FRESHMAN,

JUST KIND OF CONSIDER
THIS AS A PRIMER.

BELIEVE ME, THERE ARE FAR MORE
FLAVORFUL CAPS ON DOWN THE LINE,

CHANTERELLES, WOOD EARS,
PUFFBALLS--YOU NAME IT.

BUT CONSIDER THIS... IF YOU'RE
CAPABLE OF CONVERTING

A COMMON CREMINI INTO
TRULY GOOD EATS,

JUST THINK OF WHAT
YOU'LL BE ABLE TO DO

THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE A
PORCINI POP UP IN YOUR YARD.

SUPERMARKET! POP UP
IN YOUR SUPERMARKET...

THAT'S WHAT I MEANT TO SAY.

NOW I'M ALTON BROWN,
THIS IS "GOOD EATS,"

AND I THINK HE'S
TAKIN' A HOLIDAY!