Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 2, Episode 6 - Crust Never Sleeps - full transcript

PIE...

MATHEMATICIANS HAVE
PONDERED THE DEPTHS OF
ITS NATURE FOR CENTURIES,

ONLY TO FIND MORE QUESTIONS.

FOR MANY COOKS, PIE IS
NO LESS ENIGMATIC.

OF COURSE, WHEN WE SAY
PIE, WE MEAN FRUIT PIE,

AND THEREFORE, CRUST.

AND THERE IN, LAYS
THE CONTRADICTION.

ASK ANY AMERICAN TO
DESCRIBE THE PERFECT CRUST,

YOU'RE GONNA GET THE SAME
COCKAMAMIE ANSWER...

OH, HOW THE OXYMORON
TORMENTS ME.

WHY CAN'T ANYONE SEE
THAT THEY'RE OPPOSITES.



I MEAN, FLAKY IS CRISP,
STRUCTURAL LIKE PUFF PASTRY.

TENDER IS SOFT AND
PLIANT LIKE A BISCUIT.

PUT 'EM TOGETHER AND YOU'VE
GOT A BISCUIT THAT GOES SNAP!

NO MATTER WHAT WE DO,

TENDER AND FLAKY WILL FOREVER
REMAIN POLAR EXTREMES

ON THE PIE CRUST CONTINUUM.

OF COURSE, OPPOSITES DO ATTRACT.

IF WE APPLY THE RIGHT SCIENCE
AND CUNNING TECHNIQUE,

THE RIGHT INGREDIENTS,

WE COULD--WE SHOULD--

WE WILL CREATE A PIE CRUST
THAT'S TRULY "GOOD EATS,"

WITHOUT BEING GOOD GRIEF.

YEAH.

NOW SINCE I WANT A CRUST
THAT CAN TAKE THE TRIP



FROM PAN TO PLATE WITHOUT
CHIPPING THE KNIFE,

I STICK TO THE MIDDLE OF
THE ROAD WITH ALL-PURPOSE

OR AP FLOUR.

I LIKE THE NONBLEACHED KIND
BECAUSE IT BROWNS BETTER.

MOST PIE RECIPES
CALL FOR ICE WATER,

BUT I DON'T SEE WHY THE LIQUID
SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BRING

SOME EXTRA FLAVOR TO THE PARTY.

TAKE... AH, WELL, APPLE
JUICE CONCENTRATE,

IT'S MOSTLY WATER, BUT
IT ALSO CONTAINS ACID,

WHICH WILL HELP TO
MODERATE GLUTEN FORMATION,

AND SUGAR, WHICH WILL
HELP TO BUILD THE CRUST.

AND IT'S COLD SO IT'LL
HELP KEEP THE FATS SOLID

WHILE WE'RE WORKING THE DOUGH.

SHORTENING MAKES AN EXCEEDINGLY
TENDER PIE CRUST.

SHORTENING REMAINS SOFT THROUGH
A WIDE RANGE OF TEMPERATURES,

SO IT EASILY INTEGRATES
WITH FLOUR.

NOW IT DOESN'T
CONTAIN ANY WATER,

SO IT DOESN'T ADD TO
GLUTEN PRODUCTION.

BUT SHORTENING DOESN'T
DO ANYTHING FOR FLAKES,

STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY
OR FLAVOR OR COLOR.

FOR THAT YOU NEED BUTTER,

WHICH MAKES A WHOLE
DIFFERENT PIE CRUST.

SEE, BUTTER CAN BE
CHILLED ROCK HARD

SO THAT WHEN IT'S ROLLED
INTO FLOUR IT STRIATES,

CREATING A FLAKY CRUST.

BUTTER ALSO BROWNS
WHEN IT'S COOKED,

WHICH BRINGS FLAVOR AND
COLOR TO THE PARTY.

BUT IT ALSO MELTS AT A
VERY LOW TEMPERATURE,

SO YOU GOTTA WORK FAST AND
COLD OR BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,

BUTTER WILL BE RUNNING
OFF OF THE DOUGH AND
ONTO THE DOG'S HEAD.

WHICH BUTTER'S BEST? WELL, I
LIKE PREMIUM HIGH-FAT BUTTERS

FOR SAUTéEING AND SAUCES,
BUT THAT'S ANOTHER SHOW.

WHEN IT COMES TO PIE CRUST,

I DON'T CARE IF THE COWS
HAVE BEEN GRAZING ON
ORGANIC MARIGOLDS,

WHAT I NEED IS FRESHNESS.

SEE, BUTTER LOSES ITS SWEETNESS,

AND PICKS UP FUNKY
FLAVORS AS IT AGES.

SO CHECK THE DATE AND GO FOR
THE YOUNGEST YOU CAN FIND.

OH, UNSALTED ONLY, PLEASE.

START BY PLACING YOUR
BOWL ON THE SCALE,

AND THEN HITTING THE ZERO
BUTTON, THE TARE BUTTON...
ZERO IT OUT

SO THAT WE'RE NOT WEIGHING THE
BOWL ALONG WITH THE
INGREDIENTS.

NOW THE FIRST BIG PLAYER,
THE FIRST BUILDING
BLOCK, SO TO SPEAK,

IS FOURTEEN OUNCES OF
ALL-PURPOSE FLOUR.

NOW THAT'S APPROXIMATELY
TWO AND ONE HALF CUPS.

ZERO OUT THE AMOUNT
AFTER EACH ADDITION.

NOW I'M BACK TO ZERO, SO
WE CAN START FRESH AGAIN.

NEXT THING UP IS STONE-
GROUND CORNMEAL,

I'M GONNA ADD THREE
OUNCES OF THAT,

WHICH IS APPROXIMATELY
A HALF CUP.

WE'LL SEE HOW THAT GOES.

ONE, TWO, THREE.

NOW SINCE IT DOESN'T DISSOLVE,

THE CORNMEAL'S
GONNA GIVE THE CRUST

A KIND OF A CRUNCHY TOOTHINESS,

AN ADDED TEXTURE
THAT I LIKE A LOT.

AND SINCE IT DOESN'T
PRODUCE GLUTEN,

IT'LL ALSO MAKE IT TENDER.

OF COURSE, THE SUGAR
DOES THE SAME THING,

WHICH IS WHY WE'RE GONNA ADD
THREE TABLESPOONS OF SUGAR.

BESIDES THAT OTHER THING WE
WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT,

SUGAR ALSO HELPS THE DOUGH
TO BROWN AS IT COOKS.

AND SINCE IT'S HYGROSCOPIC,
IT ALSO HELPS TO RETAIN

A LITTLE BIT OF MOISTURE.

NOW JUST BECAUSE
THIS IS DESSERT,

DOESN'T MEAN IT SHOULDN'T
BE PROPERLY SEASONED,

SO WE'RE GONNA ADD A
TEASPOON OF KOSHER SALT.

NOW SECOND BUILDING
BLOCK, BUTTER--

TWO STICKS TO BE EXACT...

WE WANT TO GET THIS PREPPED
FOR GOING INTO THE FAT,

SO WHAT I'M GONNA DO IS LAY
IT OUT ON SOME PARCHMENT.

BUT BEFORE IT JUST PLOP IT
DOWN,

I'M GONNA STREW AROUND JUST
A LITTLE BIT OF FLOUR.

THAT'S GONNA MAKE SURE
THAT THE CHUNKS OF BUTTER

DON'T JUST STICK TOGETHER
IN ONE BIG MASS.

AND THAT'S GONNA MAKE IT A
LOT EASIER DOWN THE LINE.

SO JUST TURN THEM RIGHT OUT,

KIND OF ROLL THEM AROUND A
LITTLE BIT IN THE FLOUR,

JUST TO GET 'EM SO THEY
WON'T BE QUITE AS STICKY.

NOW YOU COULD CHOP THESE
UP WITH A KNIFE,

BUT I REALLY LIKE
MY BOARD SCRAPPER.

IT MAKES IT EASY AND FUN, WHICH
IS A WONDERFUL COMBINATION.

SO JUST CHOP RIGHT DOWN
THROUGH THIS, JUST LIKE THAT,

JUST CHUNKS, JUST PIECES.

JUST LEAVE EVERYTHING
RIGHT ON THE BOARD.

MAYBE THROW IN JUST A LITTLE
BIT MORE FLOUR... THERE.

NOW WE HAVE REACHED THE GREAT
AXIOM OF PIE CRUST MAKING.

AND THAT IS THAT EVERYTHING,
SOLID AND FAT ALIKE,

HAS TO BE REFRIGERATED...

SO STRAIGHT INTO THE CHILL.

WHY BOTHER WITH THIS STEP?

BECAUSE FLAKY HAPPENS WHEN
COLD CHUNKS OF BUTTER

ARE ROLLED INTO THE FLOUR,
CREATING LAYERS OF FAT.

ON THE OTHER HAND,
TENDER HAPPENS

WHEN SOFT FAT IS THOROUGHLY
WORKED INTO THE FLOUR,

COATING THE INDIVIDUAL GRAINS.

OF COURSE, IT STANDS
TO REASON THEN

THAT A FLAKY TENDER
SYNERGY COULD BE ACHIEVED

IF BOTH COLD AND WARM BUTTER
WERE WORKED INTO THE FLOUR.

SO I'M GOING TO RETRIEVE A HALF
STICK, THAT'S FOUR TABLESPOONS,

OF BUTTER FROM THE FRIDGE AND
LET IT COME TO ROOM
TEMPERATURE.

NOW TOOL TIME.

HI, "W."
A.B., WHAT CAN
I DO FOR YOU?

WE'D LIKE TO BUY A FOOD
PROCESSOR TODAY, PLEASE.

ONE OF MY SPECIALTIES,
JUST FOLLOW ME.

OOPS!

OH, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT THAT... WE'LL
TAKE CARE OF IT.

JUST COME ON THIS WAY.

NOW THE MARKET IS FULL
OF FOOD PROCESSORS

WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF
FEATURES, ACCESSORIES,
AND PRICE TAGS.

SO HOW DO
YOU CHOOSE?

WELL, IN THE LONG RUN,
YOU WANT A MACHINE THAT
CAN RELIABLY PERFORM

A WIDE RANGE OF
TASKS, RIGHT?
LIKE THE COMMERCIAL,
WIDER IS BETTER.

YEAH, THAT'S
VERY GOOD.

THEN IT COMES DOWN
TO EASE OF USE,

AND THAT'S DETERMINED
BY DESIGN AND POWER.
OH, POWER! WELL, THAT'S
EASY TO FIGURE OUT.

WHAT YOU DO IS YOU
LOOK AT THE BOTTOM
OF THE MOTOR MOUNT,

AND IT'S GOT IT KIND
OF EMBOSSED RIGHT
THERE, 120 VOLT...
YA KNOW,

TOTAL WATTAGE
ISN'T AS IMPORTANT

AS HOW THE POWER IS
TRANSFERRED TO
THE WORK BOWL,

AND BOTTOM-MOUNTED
MOTORS DO THIS BETTER
THAN SIDE-MOUNTED.
OKAY.

WELL, WHAT
ABOUT DESIGN?

OH, I LIKE THIS ONE
WITH ALL THE BUTTONS,

THOUGH I CAN'T HELP BUT
NOTICE THAT I'M NOT
PUNCHING YOURS TODAY.

WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE
I'VE DECIDED

NOT TO ALLOW YOUR
CHILDISHNESS AFFECT ME.

AND ALL YOU REALLY NEED
IS AN ON, OFF SWITCH
AND A PULSE SWITCH.

OKAY, WELL, THAT TAKES
CARE OF THE POWER TRAIN.

HOW ABOUT FROM
THE BOWL UP?

WELL, IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T
HEARD, SIZE MATTERS.

ACTUALLY, WHAT
I HAD HEARD IS
THAT SIZE...

WELL, YOU KNOW, IF IT'S
TOO SMALL OF A BOWL,

THEN YOU CAN'T
BLEND SOUPS,

AND YOU CAN'T SHRED
LARGE AMOUNTS OF CHEESE.

TOO LARGE A BOWL AND
THEN WORKING WITH SMALL
AMOUNTS GETS TRICKY.

WELL, PICK ONE FOR
US, GOLDILOCKS.
WELL, YOU SEE, YOU
WANT A BOWL THAT...

NINE TO ELEVEN CUPS, LOOK
FOR A THICK HEAVY BOWL

THAT'S LESS LIKELY
TO BREAK,

AND IT MAKES FOR A
QUIETER MACHINE.
OH, OKAY.

AND YOU KNOW, IF YOU
HAVE A WIDE FEED TUBE
THAT'S GREAT,

THAT'S A GOOD
FEATURE.
WIDE... WIDER
IS BETTER.

WIDER IS BETTER,
I REMEMBER.

YOU KNOW, THIS ALSO
HAS A FLAT TOP

FOR WHEN YOU'RE NOT
USING THE FEED TUBE.

OKAY, SO WE'VE GOT...

"W," YOU'RE AMAZING!
ONCE AGAIN, YOU'VE
SOLD ME.

THANKS!
YOU'RE WELCOME.

BESIDES OUR SHINY
NEW FOOD PROCESSOR,

PHASE II HARDWARE INCLUDES--
ONE RUBBER SPATULA,

ABOUT A TWO FOOT LONG PIECE OF
EITHER WAX PAPER OR PARCHMENT,

A SQUIRT BOTTLE CONTAINING
THREE TABLESPOONS

OF OUR FROZEN APPLE
JUICE CONCENTRATE,

AND TWO TABLESPOONS OF H2O,

AND A STAINLESS STEEL BOWL...

THE VERY BOWL CURRENTLY HOUSING
OUR NOW CHILLED DRY INGREDIENTS.

HERE'S THE PLAN.

FIRST, WE'RE GONNA PROCESS
THE DRY INGREDIENTS

JUST TO MAKE SURE THAT THEY
ARE THOROUGHLY COMBINED.

JUST GET 'EM INTO THE
MACHINE, POP ON THE LID,

AND JUST PULSE TWO
OR THREE TIMES.

YOU JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT
THE CORNMEAL AND THE SALT

ARE FULLY INTEGRATED.

NOW WE'RE GONNA ADD IN
THAT HALF STICK OF ROOM
TEMPERATURE BUTTER.

REMEMBER IT'S TWO OUNCES.

AND JUST KIND OF
TOSS THAT AROUND,

MAKE SURE THAT DOESN'T
STICK IN THERE.

THERE WE GO.

LID IT UP AND PROCESS,

TILL THE FAT
COMPLETELY DISAPPEARS.

THE REASON I'M WORKING IN
PULSES IS BECAUSE THE
HEAT FROM THE MOTOR

WILL COME UP INTO THE BOWL
IF YOU PROCESS TOO LONG.

THERE, THE BUTTER IS
COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED.

BUT WHAT WE DO HAVE IS,

YOU SEE THAT THE FLOUR IS
NOW KIND OF FLAKY LOOKING.

WHAT THAT MEANS IS THE THAT
FAT HAS NOW COMPLETELY INCASED

ALL THOSE LITTLE
FLOUR PARTICLES.

AND THAT IS WHAT IS
GONNA GIVE US TENDERNESS.

OKAY, LET'S ADD THE
REST OF THE BUTTER.

THE TRICK HERE IS THAT THE
REST OF THE CHILLED BUTTER

NEEDS TO GO IN IN INSTALLMENTS.

SO WE'RE GONNA SPLIT IT IN HALF,

JUST LIKE THAT... YEAH,
KIND OF LIKE THAT.

THIS AMOUNT'S GONNA GO IN,
AND WE'RE GONNA PULSE, MAYBE,

AH, MAYBE TEN TIMES.

WHAT WE'RE LOOKIN' FOR HERE IS
KIND OF A PEA-MEAL TYPE THING.

I'M GONNA WORK IN
ONE SECOND PULSES,

AND WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR IS
SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE

ENGLISH PEAS DOWN THERE.

HOW LONG THIS TAKES
IS GONNA DEPEND ON

HOW COLD YOUR FLOUR IS, WHAT
KIND OF A DAY IT IS OUTSIDE,

WHAT KIND OF FLOUR YOU USED.

THERE, THAT LOOKS ABOUT RIGHT.

SEE, WE'VE GOT KIND
OF CHUNKS IN THERE.

THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.

NOW THE LAST INSTALLMENT GOES
IN, AND WE'RE GONNA PROCESS
THIS

FOR A VERY BRIEF AMOUNT OF
TIME,

BECAUSE WHAT WE'RE LOOKING
FOR IS SOME CHUNKS.

WE WANT SOME BIG HUNKIN'
PIECES OF BUTTER,

SO THREE, FOUR PULSES TOPS.

ONE, TWO, THREE...

I'LL GIVE IT A FOUR... FOUR.

OKAY, THERE.

NOW WE'VE GOT SOME NICE BIG
PIECES OF BUTTER IN HERE

LIKE THIS... AND THOSE ARE
THE VERY, VERY PIECES

THAT WHEN ROLLED OUT
IN THE FINAL DOUGH,

ARE GONNA CREATE THOSE NICE LONG
STRIATED PIECES OF FAT, SEE?

AND AS THEY MELT, THE
DOUGH AROUND IT SETS,

CREATING, GUESS WHAT? FLAKES.

AND FLAKES IS A
GOOD THING TO HAVE.

OKAY, NOW WE'VE COME TO THE
BIG CARDINAL RULE

OF PIE DOUGH MAKING.

AND THAT'S GOT TO DO WITH
THE INTEGRATION OF LIQUIDS.

SO I'M GONNA TURN
THIS WHOLE MASS

INTO A STAINLESS STEEL
BOWL, SAME BOWL IS FINE.

BY THE WAY, IF YOU PUT YOUR
FINGER UP IN THE MIDDLE OF
THIS,

IT'LL KEEP THE BLADE
FROM FALLING OUT.

AND WE'RE GONNA ADD AS
LITTLE LIQUID AS POSSIBLE.

I LIKE USING A SPRAY BOTTLE
BECAUSE I THINK IT COVERS

THE MOST AREA WITH THE
LEAST AMOUNT OF LIQUID.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
HAVE A DINOSAUR,

BUT IF YOU'RE LUCKY, YOU WILL.

YOU SPRAY THE TOP UNTIL
IT STARTS TO GLISTEN,

AND THEN FOLD WITH
A RUBBER SPATULA.

WE'RE GONNA PROBABLY WORK
IN A TOTAL OF, WELL,

AT LEAST THREE TABLESPOONS.

BUT IT MAY NOT TAKE THAT
MUCH...
AGAIN, IT DEPENDS ON THE DAY.

IT'S NOT A HARD-AND-FAST RULE.

HERE WE GO WITH A LITTLE
MORE, JUST ACROSS THE TOP.

GONNA SCRAP THAT OFF

AND FOLD.

NOW WHEN YOU THINK YOU
MIGHT BE GETTING CLOSE,

YOU'RE NOT REALLY SURE, JUST
REACH DOWN AND GRAB A HANDFUL

AND MAKE A FIST, LET GO,

TAKE A LOOK AT IT.

HAS IT TAKEN THE CREASE FROM
YOUR HANDS? DOES IT CRUMBLE?

OR DOES IT BREAK
CLEAN LIKE THAT?

THAT IS, BY MY ESTIMATION,
JUST ABOUT PERFECT.

BUT I'M GONNA GIVE IT
JUST A LITTLE BIT EXTRA

BECAUSE IT'S A DRY DAY.

AND I KNOW THAT THE FLOUR
IS GONNA BE ABLE TO TAKE
A GOOD BIT OF MOISTURE.

THERE, ONE MORE STIR.

NOW I'M GONNA PACK IT DOWN.

JUST KIND OF REACH IN,
MAKE A MOUND OUT OF IT,

LIKE THIS,

AND THEN PUSH DOWN
IN THE MIDDLE...

THERE, LIKE THAT.

I'M GONNA TAKE THE PARCHMENT
PAPER, WAX PAPER--WHATEVER--

PUSH RIGHT DOWN ON TOP OF THAT.

THEN I'M GONNA TURN
THE WHOLE THING OVER...

THERE.

NOW I KNOW THAT DOESN'T LOOK
ANYTHING LIKE DOUGH YET,

BUT IT WILL.

IT'S GONNA CRACK LIKE THAT,
SO JUST GENTLY FOLD IT UP.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE GIFT-
WRAPPING A PACKAGE.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS.

FOLD INTO THE WAX
PAPER, AND AGAIN,

THIS GOES INTO THE REFRIGERATOR
FOR A COUPLE OF REASONS.

I KNOW WE'RE DOING A LOT
OF REFRIGERATING HERE.

FOR ONE THING, WE WANT THE
FAT, WHICH HAS NOW LOOSENED
UP A LITTLE BIT,

TO KIND OF RESOLIDIFY
A LITTLE BIT.

BUT MORE THAN THAT, WE WANT TO
GIVE THE DOUGH TIME TO HYDRATE

TO SOAK UP THE LITTLE BIT OF
MOISTURE THAT WE'VE GIVEN IT,

AND THAT'S GONNA TAKE
ABOUT 20 MINUTES IN THERE.

NOW WHY BE SO SKIMPY WITH
THE MOISTURE TO BEGIN WITH?

IT'S ALL GOT TO DO
WITH BUNGEE JUMPING.

AS SOON AS YOU ADD
WATER TO FLOUR,

IT FINDS WHATEVER
PROTEIN IS AVAILABLE

AND CREATES THOSE LITTLE
ELASTIC FIBERS CALLED GLUTEN.

NOW THEY'RE JUST LAYING
THERE AT THE MOMENT,

BUT AS SOON AS YOU START
TO WORK THAT MOIST DOUGH,

(drumroll)
START ROLLING IT OUT, WELL,

IT'S A LOT LIKE WHEN
I GO BUNGEE JUMPING.

'CAUSE YA SEE, JUST
LIKE A BUNGEE CORD,

WHEN THOSE GLUTENS
COOK, THEY RECOIL,

WHICH IS WHY A LOT OF WET
PIE DOUGHS GO IN THE OVEN

THIS BIG AND COME
OUT ABOUT THIS BIG.

HANDSOME DEVIL, HUH?

WITHOUT THE RIGHT FILLING,
CRUST REMAINS UNFULFILLED.

BUT AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, IF
THE FILLING'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH

TO ENJOY OUT OF THE CRUST, IT
DOESN'T BELONG INSIDE THE CRUST.

BUT THIS FILLING IS ONE I'D
EAT PURéED THROUGH A STRAW.

IT'S THAT GOOD.

START BY HEATING YOUR CAST-IRON
SKILLET OR A HEAVY NONSTICK PAN

OVER MEDIUM HEAT.

ADD TWO ANJOU PEARS, PEELED,
CORED AND SLICED THIN.

TOSS FOR TWO MINUTES,

THEN SPRINKLE WITH THREE
TABLESPOONS OF BALSAMIC
VINEGAR,

THEN TOSS FOR 30 MORE SECONDS.

NEXT COMES FOUR
TABLESPOONS OF SUGAR.

THEN ONCE THE PEARS
HAVE SOFTENED,

GRATE ON A PINCH OF NUTMEG,

SPRINKLE ON A QUARTER
TEASPOON OF CINNAMON,

AND ADD TWO TABLESPOONS
OF BUTTER.

MELT SLOWLY AND THEN TOSS
IN A CUP OF BLUEBERRIES.

REMOVE FROM THE HEAT, SIFT ON A
TEASPOON OF FLOUR TO THICKEN,

AND BRING TO ROOM TEMPERATURE.

'CAUSE IF WE PUT THIS ONTO
THE DOUGH RIGHT NOW,

WELL, IT'S SO HOT IT WOULD
JUST MELT RIGHT THROUGH.

SO TIME TO ROLL, BUT WITH WHAT?

WHEN IT COMES TO ROLLING
PINS THERE ARE A LOT OF
CHOICES OUT THERE.

MY OWN PERSONAL COLLECTION
INCLUDES METAL, MARBLE,

FRENCH, THOSE THAT
MAKE IMPRESSIONS,

THOSE THAT CUT SHAPES, BUT
IF YOU'RE ONLY GONNA OWN ONE,

GO BIG AND GO HEAVY.

FOURTEEN INCHES OF SOLID
MAPLE'S THE WAY TO GO.

NOW OF COURSE, ANYBODY WHOSE
TRIED TO DO ANY SERIOUS ROLLING

KNOWS HOW TOUGH IT IS
TO GET A DISC OF DOUGH

DOWN TO ONE QUARTER OF
AN INCH THICKNESS.

LUCKILY, THIS IS A
MAC GYVERABLE DILEMMA.

THE ANSWER, OF COURSE,
IS RUBBER BANDS

USED AS SPACERS ON EITHER END.

JUST TO BE SURE THAT WE'VE
GOT THE CORRECT DEPTH,

WHIP OUT YOUR TAILOR'S RULER

AND MAKE SURE YOU'VE GOT
A QUARTER OF AN INCH.

OTHER HARDWARE FOR
PHASE III INCLUDES...

THIS IS AN INSURANCE POLICY

THAT WE'RE GONNA TAKE OUT,
BY PUTTING INSIDE THE FREEZER.

YOU REMEMBER THAT CRUMBLY
KIND OF PILE OF A MESS

THAT WE HAD TWENTY
MINUTES AGO?

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO IT.

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A DOUGH
HAS TIME TO REST AND HYDRATE.

IT FEELS PERFECT.

IF WE LEFT IT IN
THERE ANY LONGER,

WE'D PROBABLY HAVE TO LET
IT SET AT ROOM TEMPERATURE

BEFORE WE WORKED IT...

AND YOU NEED A
GOOD BIT OF FLOUR,

BECAUSE WE'RE GONNA DUST AS MUCH
REAL ESTATE AS WE CAN AFFORD.

SO JUST KIND OF STREW
THIS WITH FLOUR.

JUST FLING IT OUT EVERYWHERE.

THE DOUGH GOES RIGHT IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE TABLE.

START WITH THE PIN STRAIGHT
DOWN AND MOVE STRAIGHT OUT,

TURNING TEN MINUTES EACH TIME.

DON'T GET INTO THIS BUSINESS OR
YOU'LL TURN IT INTO A PROTOZOA.

JUST KEEP ROLLING FROM
THE MIDDLE STRAIGHT OUT,

AND IF IT STICKS,
JUST USE THE FLOSS

TO SEPARATE THE
DOUGH FROM THE TABLE.

NOW EVEN SKILLED ROLLERS
ARE GONNA END UP

WITH A SLIGHTLY
MISSHAPEN DOUGH.

IF THAT HAPPENS, JUST
USE THE PIZZA CUTTER TO
BRING IT BACK INTO ROUND.

IF YOU GET ANY MELTING OR
HEATING OF THE DOUGH,

APPLY THAT COLD PAN.

THAT'LL HELP TO RESET THE FAT

AND GIVE YOU A LITTLE
MORE WORKING TIME.

NOW KEEP ROLLING AND TURNING,
STRAIGHT DOWN AND STRAIGHT OUT

UNTIL YOU NO LONGER
FEEL ANY RESISTANCE.

THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW YOU'VE
GOT A QUARTER INCH THICK.

ROLL IT UP ON THE PIN, LAY
IT OUT ON A PARCHMENT-
COVERED PAN INVERTED.

JUST KIND OF SMOOTH OUT
THE CRACKS AND TEARS,
IF THERE ARE ANY.

AND WE'RE GONNA ADD A CUP
AND A HALF OF CAKE CRUMBS.

EITHER WHITE CAKE OR
POUND CAKE WILL DO FINE.

IT'LL ADD GREAT FLAVOR.

AND JUST SPOON ON THE FILLING.

SEE THE FILLING'S GONNA
STICK TO THOSE CUBES,

KEEPING IT FROM RUNNING OFF.

A COUPLE OF TABLESPOONS
OF BUTTER JUST FOR ADDED
FLAVOR AND COLOR,

AND WE'RE READY TO FOLD...
NO PAN NECESSARY.

SWEET, HUH?

JUST CRIMP AND ADD A
LITTLE BIT OF WATER

AS YOU FOLD UP THE DOUGH,
ALMOST LIKE PLEATS.

THERE'S ONE MORE LAYER OF
COLOR AND FLAVOR WE CAN ADD.

AND ALL WE HAVE TO HAVE
IS ONE BEATEN EGG

MIXED UP WITH A
LITTLE BIT OF WATER.

THIS IS WHAT'S CALLED
AN EGG WASH.

AND WE'RE JUST GONNA SLURP
THAT AROUND ON THE OUTSIDE.

THIS IS GONNA PROVIDE
EXTRA BROWNING.

EGG IS MOSTLY PROTEIN,
AND PROTEINS BROWN.

THAT'S WHAT THEY DO.

I THINK I'M GONNA ADD A
JUST LITTLE BIT OF SUGAR,

JUST A SPRINKLING.

THAT'S GONNA MAKE IT LOOK A LOT
PRETTIER WHEN IT COMES OUT.

IT'LL SPARKLE,

AND IT'LL ADD A BIT MORE
SWEETNESS TO THE CRUST.

THAT'S A TEASPOON, TOPS.

EVERYTHING IS IN PLACE,

AND THIS NOW FINDS ITS
PLACE IN A 400 DEGREE OVEN,

RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE,
ON THE TOP SHELF.

GONNA SET THE TIMER FOR ABOUT
25 MINUTES, ALTHOUGH,

ODDS ARE REALLY GOOD IT'S GONNA
TAKE AT LEAST 30 MINUTES.

I'M GONNA WANT TO
CHECK ON IT IN 25.

GET YOUR APPETITE READY.

THIRTY MINUTES LATER,

AND THIS IS WHAT WE'VE GOT
TO SHOW FOR OURSELVES.

NOW IT LOOKS DONE, GOT
A LOT OF GREAT COLOR,

BUT THAT COULD BE FROM THE EGG
WASH OR EVEN FROM THE SUGAR.

TO REALLY KNOW FOR SURE YOU'VE
GOT TO PUSH ON IT A LITTLE BIT.

IF THE PLEATS KIND OF GIVE,

BUT FEEL LIKE THEY'D BREAK
IF YOU KEPT PUSHING,

THEN YOU'RE THERE, IT'S SET.

YOU CAN ALSO TAKE A
LOOK AT THE FILLING.

IS IT KIND OF GLAZED OVER,
MAYBE
A LITTLE BUBBLE IN THERE?

YUP, THIS GALETTE IS A GO.

NOW YOU COULD PULL THIS, CUT
IT AND SERVE IT RIGHT AWAY,

BUT THOSE THAT ARE IN
THE KNOW ABOUT GALETTES

KNOW THAT IT'S BETTER TO
LET IT GO TO ROOM TEMPERATURE,

THEN SERVE.

OF COURSE, THE QUESTION
REMAINS,

WILL THIS FINALLY RID ME

OF THOSE DIMINUTIVELY
DEMONIC PUGILISTS?

ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.

MMM...

DEFINITELY FLAKY AND YET,

AND YET, TENDER TOO.

NOW LOOK, THE WAY I SEE IT, YOU
GUYS CAN DEFINITELY COEXIST,

FLAKY AND TENDER.

I MEAN, COME ON, WITHOUT
A LITTLE FLAKINESS,

A TENDER CRUST JUST LIES
THERE AND CRUMBLES IN THE PAN.

WHAT GOOD IS THAT?

YOU, I MEAN, COME ON!
WITHOUT A LITTLE TENDERNESS,

WHAT IS FLAKY, BUT ALL
STRUCTURE AND NO SOUL?

NO, YOU GUYS BELONG TOGETHER.

YOU SHOULD BE WITH EACH OTHER.

IT'S THE AMERICAN DREAM--
FLAKY AND TENDER.

GOSH, THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE A GOOD LOVE STORY,

UNLESS, OF COURSE,
IT'S "GOOD EATS."

SEE YA NEXT TIME.