Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 13, Episode 14 - Twas the Night Before Good Eats - full transcript

GREETINGS, AMERICAN COOKS.

IF YOU'RE A FAN OF THIS PROGRAM,
YOU NO DOUBT RECOGNIZE THIS

OFT REPEATED SCENARIO
WHEREBY I RAIL AT YOU
FOR SLACKING OFF

AND ALLOWING SOME CLASSIC
AMERICAN DISH TO
FALL INTO DISREPAIR.

WELL, TODAY IS GOING
TO BE DIFFERENT.

DON'T WORRY, I'M STILL GONNA
RAIL AT YOU,

BUT THE DISHES WE WILL ATTEMPT
TO MEND WERE NOT ACTUALLY
CONCEIVED IN THE UNITED STATES,

THEY WERE DAMAGED HERE...

SO I FEEL IT'S OUR DUTY
TO REPAIR SAID DAMAGE
AND IN DOING SO,

MEND OUR BRUISED
INTERNATIONAL FOOD IMAGE.

NOW I SHOULD POINT OUT
THAT THEY'RE NOT
ACTUALLY DISHES,



THEY'RE BEVERAGES,
COCKTAILS IN FACT,

AND BY SOME REPORTS,
THE MOST POPULAR COCKTAILS
IN THE LAND.

AND YET, BOTH HAVE BECOME
BLOATED, MANGLED VERSIONS

OF THEIR FORMER SELVES.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
ALLOW ME TO PRESENT TO YOU

THE TWO ONCE‐GREAT LADIES
OF THE AMERICAN BAR.

HERE, WE HAVE THE BLOODY MARY,

WHO IN THE HANDS OF FERN‐BAR
MIXOLOGISTS SEEKING TO
MODERNIZE HER

HAS DECAYED INTO A MURKY
MIASMA OF DISCORDANT SPICES

AIMED AT BUZZ‐EAGER BRUNCHERS.

AND HERE, BESIDE HER,
THE POOR, PUT‐UPON MARGARITA,

HER AGAVE WARMTH NOW MUFFLED
BY A ICY SLUSH,

HER SMOKY CITRUS BITE
BURIED BENEATH SICKENING
SHAWLS OF SWEETNESS.

NECTAR, YES,
BUT FOR SPRING‐BREAKERS.



A PLAGUE ON BOTH OUR HOUSES,

LEST WE RIGHT THE WRONGS
SUFFERED BY THESE LADIES' HONOR.

LUCKILY, WITH A FEW QUALITY
INGREDIENTS, SOME SOUND SCIENCE,

A DASH OF PROPERLY APPLIED
TECHNIQUE AND SOME UH,
HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE,

WE CAN DO JUST THAT.

NOT TO MENTION CREATE SOME
QUAFFABLE...

♪

TO BETTER UNDERSTAND
THE BLOODY MARY,

WE NEED TO VENTURE
TO UH, PARIS IN THE 1920s,

AND HARRY'S NEW YORK BAR.

HARRY'S, FOR SHORT,
WHICH HAD BECOME
A HOME‐AWAY‐FROM‐HOME

FOR A GAGGLE OF AMERICAN EX‐PATS
AND JAZZ‐AGE REFUGEES

FROM FITZGERALD TO GERSHWIN,

WHO, UH, THEY SAY WROTE
MOST OF "AN AMERICAN IN PARIS,"

AT THE DOWNSTAIRS PIANO.

NOW, AN HISTORIC SETTING
AND SUPPORTING CAST TO BE SURE,

BUT THE REAL STAR OF
THIS PARTICULAR DRAMA

WAS A BARTENDER NAMED PETE.

(knocking)

AH! SALUT, PETE...CA VA?

PAS MAL, ET TOI?
OH, BIEN, BIEN!

FERDINAND "PETE" PETIOT
CAME TO WORK THE PLANK
AT HARRY'S IN 1921...

NOW PETE WAS FRIENDLY WITH
SOME RUSSIAN FAMILIES

WHO HAD FLED THE BOLSHEVIKS
BACK IN 1917, OKAY?

AND ONE OF THESE FAMILIES,
THE SMIRNOFFS,

HAD SUPPLIED A CURIOUS SPIRIT
CALLED VODKA,

OR "LITTLE WATER" TO THE CZAR
HIMSELF.

IT WAS THIS ASSOCIATION THAT
INSPIRED THE YOUNG MIXOLOGIST

TO EXPERIMENT WITH THIS
CHAMELEONIC ELIXIR.

NOW, NOBODY KNOWS EXACTLY
WHEN PETE HAD HIS BIG

MONKEY TOUCH MONOLITH MOMENT,

BUT I LIKE TO THINK

THAT ON ONE FATEFUL MORNING,

A YOUNG REPORTER CAME IN
WITH NERVES A‐JANGLE,

HEAD THROBBING FROM
A LATE NIGHT OF DRINKING

AND PROBABLY FIGHTING
WITH HIS FIRST WIFE.

NOW GOOD OL' PETE KNEW
THAT HEMINGWAY REALLY NEEDED

A LITTLE HAIR OF THE DOG.

BONJOUR, MONSIEUR HEMINGWAY.

FIGURED HE'D TRY OUT SOME OF
THAT NEW VODKA STUFF

HIDDEN WITHIN THE TOMATO JUICE
THAT HE KNEW THE WRITER LIKED.

IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT
CANNED TOMATO JUICE

WAS BECOMING VERY POPULAR
IN PARIS AT THE TIME
AS AN EYE OPENER...

THAT IS SOMETHING THAT ONE
DRINKS WHEN DRINKING IS WHAT

SOMEONE'S BEEN DOING TOO MUCH OF
THE NIGHT BEFORE.

PETE ALSO FIGURED HE WOULD
ROUND OFF THE FLAVOR OF
THIS NEW CONCOCTION

WITH A FEW DROPS OF SOMETHING
SALTY AND SPICY,

SO HE REACHED FOR
WORCESTERSHIRE AND TABASCO,

WHICH HAD BOTH BECOME
STANDARDS IN THE BAR.

BEFORE YOU KNEW IT,
SOMETHING BRAND‐NEW
WAS CROSSING THE BAR.

HEMINGWAY DRANK IT DOWN.

PETE, WHAT DO YOU CALL
THIS BLOODY THING?

COMMENT VOUS APPELEZ‐VOUS?
JE M'APPELLE MARY.

I'M NOT SAYING THAT'S
EXACTLY HOW IT WENT DOWN,

BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE DO THINK
THE DRINK WAS NAMED FOR

THE ORIGINAL "BLOODY MARY..."
MARY TUDOR.

IT'S THE PERFECT THING
AFTER A LONG DAY OF
DEALING WITH PROTESTANTS.

OF COURSE, SHE'D BEEN DEAD
FOR A FEW...NEVER MIND.

NOMENCLATURAL ISSUES
NOTWITHSTANDING,

PETE'S CONCOCTION TOOK OFF
LIKE A SHOT,

AND THE REST IS HISTORY.

LIKE ANY OTHER SPIRIT,
VODKA IS BORN OF
A CARBOHYDRATE‐RICH MASH

THAT IS FERMENTED BY YEAST.

WHAT'S PARTICULARLY INTERESTING
ABOUT VODKA IS THAT

IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER
WHERE THE CARBOHYDRATES
COME FROM ‐‐

FRUIT, ROOTS, CORN, POTATOES,
GRAIN, WHATEVER ‐‐

BECAUSE ONCE THE MASH IS
FERMENTED,

THE RESULTING BREW,
OR BEER AS IT'S CALLED,
IS DISTILLED,

MEANING THAT THE ALCOHOL
WHICH BOILS OUT AT
173 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT

IS COOKED OUT AND THEN CONDENSED
BACK INTO LIQUID FORM.

THE PROBLEM IS THAT SOME
IMPURITIES REMAIN KIND OF
CHEMICALLY GLUED

TO THIS YOUNG VODKA,
AND SO IT HAS TO BE
DISTILLED AGAIN,

AND SOMETIMES IT'S
DISTILLED A THIRD TIME,

OR EVEN A FOURTH TIME.

THE DISTILLATE IS THEN FILTERED,
USUALLY THROUGH THE VERY SAME

ACTIVATED CHARCOAL
FOUND IN HOME WATER SCRUBBERS ‐‐

IN FACT, I'VE HEARD TELL
THAT YOU CAN TURN

MEDIOCRE VODKA INTO TOP‐DRAWER
HOOCH JUST BY RUNNING IT

THROUGH ONE OF THESE
FOUR OR FIVE TIMES.

BUT, I CAN NEITHER CONFIRM
NOR DENY WHETHER THAT
REALLY WORKS.

FINALLY, WATER IS ADDED
TO DILUTE THE ABV,
OR ALCOHOL BY VOLUME,

TO WHATEVER THE DISTILLER WANTS.

AT THAT POINT, THE VODKA
SHOULD LIVE UP TO
THE LEGAL DEFINITION,

WHICH MEANS IT SHOULD BE
ODORLESS, COLORLESS
AND TASTELESS,

WHICH MAKES YOU KIND OF WONDER,

WHAT THEN IS THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN DECENT VODKA

AND REALLY, REALLY GOOD VODKA ‐‐
I'LL SHOW YOU.

ON THE RIGHT,
WE HAVE A $25 BOTTLE,

ON THE LEFT, AN $80 BOTTLE.

THE DIFFERENCE, IN THIS CASE,
$55 WORTH OF BOTTLE.

I'LL TAKE THIS ONE.

NOW, THE BLOODY MARY
NEVER WOULD HAVE SEEN

THE LIGHT OF DAY
OR HEMINGWAY'S THROAT

HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR
CANNED TOMATO JUICE
BECAUSE BACK THEN,

THE ONLY FRESH TOMATOES
IN A BAR WERE SITTING ON
THE STOOLS... RIGHT?

OH, TOUCHE... OH!

SO, THESE DAYS,
FOR BETTER OR WORSE,

MODERN AMERICAN MEGAMARTS
HAVE A CONSTANT TOMATO SUPPLY
ON HAND,

SO I SAY WE CAN THE CAN...

I BET YOU DANCE A MEAN CAN‐CAN.

I GOTTA GET OUT OF
THIS BUSINESS.

WHEN WE TALK ABOUT THE WAY
A TOMATO TASTES,

WE'RE ACTUALLY REFERRING
TO A FLEET OF FLAVORS.

A CHEMICALLY COMPLEX STEW
OF SUGARS, AROMATIC COMPOUNDS,

ACIDS AND AMINO ACIDS.

AND TO FULLY CAPTURE THAT
IN A GLASS

REQUIRES THAT WE EXTRACT
EVERY POSSIBLE MOLECULE
OF GOODNESS

FROM THE BEST TOMATOES
WE CAN FIND.

NOW RIPE CHERRY OR GRAPE
TOMATOES ARE HIGH IN SUGAR
AND JUICE,

BUT RELATIVELY LOW IN
THE PITHY FLESH THAT MAKES UP

THE INNER STRUCTURE OF
LARGER TOMATOES.

SO I'M GONNA USE 1 3/4 POUND
OF THOSE.

NOW THESE LARGE HEIRLOOMS,
ON THE OTHER HAND,

ARE POSITIVELY ZAFTIG,
BUT UH...

THEY'RE MIGHTY NICE AND RIPE
SO THEY CAN COME TO THE PARTY
AS WELL...

WE'LL JUST USE THEM
IN A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT WAY.

TOMATOES, BOTANICALLY SPEAKING,
ARE BERRIES,

AND AS SUCH, CONTAIN BOTH
WATER AND ALCOHOL‐SOLUBLE
FLAVORS.

NOW VODKA,
BEING ALCOHOL AND WATER,

IS AN IDEAL SOLVENT
FOR EXTRACTING THOSE
TOMATO FLAVORS.

BUT TO DO SO THOROUGHLY
TAKES TIME ‐‐

A LOT LONGER THAN
IT WOULD TAKE TO MIX
AND DRINK A BLOODY MARY ‐‐

THE ANSWER, OF COURSE,
IS TO MAKE TOMATO VODKA, RIGHT?

NOW TO DO SO,
WE WILL NEED A POUND OF
LARGE, RIPE TOMATOES,

THAT'S WHAT OUR
HEIRLOOMS ARE FOR.

JUST CUT THEM INTO, SAY,
EIGHT PIECES,

AND PLACE IN A LARGE,
CLEAN GLASS JAR,

AND TOP WITH...

AND AGAIN, THIS IS DEFINITELY
THE $25 VARIETY.

THERE, NOW SEAL THAT UP TIGHT
FOR FIVE TO SEVEN DAYS,

STIRRING THE INGREDIENTS
AT LEAST ONCE A DAY.

THEN, AFTER A WEEK,

REMOVE THE LID,

AND STRAIN THROUGH A FINE MESH.

THEN JUST DISCARD THE SOLIDS

AND RETURN THE VODKA
TO ITS BOTTLE.

KEEP IN A COOL, DRY PLACE
AND ENJOY...NEAT.

SOMETIMES I ADD A COUPLE OF
DROPS OF HOT SAUCE
AND JUST CALL IT A DAY ‐‐

BUT WE'VE GOT
A BLOODY MARY TO MAKE ‐‐

SO, ONTO THE BASE.

ALL RIGHT, INTO YOUR BLENDER
CARAFE GO...

AND THEY SHOULD FIT INTO

MOST RESIDENTIAL
AND COMMERCIAL MODELS.

TO THAT, WE ADD...

AND YES, THIS NEEDS TO BE
FRESHLY SQUEEZED

SO THAT THE ACIDITY WILL
PROPERLY BALANCE THE FRUIT
WITH THE BOOZE.

NEXT, WE WILL GO WITH...

PETE USED IT BACK IN 1921,

AND IT'S STILL ON THE STANDARD
PARTS LIST TODAY, WHY?

WELL, IT'S SALTY FOR ONE THING,
AND TOMATOES NEED THAT,

BUT THREE OF THE INGREDIENTS
INSIDE WORCESTERSHIRE ‐‐

SOY SAUCE, ANCHOVIES
AND TAMARIND,

CONTAIN GLUTAMATES,
WHICH HIGHLIGHT THE SAVORY
ASPECTS OF THE TOMATOES.

FOODIES REFER TO THIS
AS UMAMI, WHICH IS JAPANESE
FOR "DELICIOUSNESS."

WORKS JUST LIKE GOOD,
OLD‐FASHIONED MSG,

AND IT WILL ADD A MEATY
GOODNESS TO THE COCKTAIL,

OF COURSE, I PREFER HOMEMADE,
BUT THAT'LL HAVE TO WAIT
FOR ANOTHER SHOW.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST...

THE LID GOES ON
AND WE BLEND ON HIGH

FOR 1 1/2 MINUTES.

I SHOULD MENTION THAT
ALL ALONE THIS MAKES
A PRETTY FABULOUS TOMATO JUICE

THAT'LL KEEP IN THE FRIDGE
FOR UP TO A MONTH.

NOW WHEN IT COMES TIME
TO CONSTRUCT THE DRINK,

I LIKE A TALL COLLINS GLASS ‐‐

IT HOLDS PLENTY OF LIQUID
BUT IT'S NARROW,

SO WHEN YOU TURN IT UP
TO GET AT THE ICE CUBES,
THEY WON'T FALL IN YOUR FACE.

SPEAKING OF ICE CUBES,

I MAKE MINE OUT OF
THE BLOODY MARY MIX ITSELF ‐‐

THREE CUBES WILL DO THE TRICK ‐‐

ADD...

AND THEN TOP THAT OFF WITH...

STIR, IF YOU WANT,
OR YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

AS FOR GARNISHES,

WELL, WE DON'T NEED NO
STINKIN' GARNISHES.

IT'S A DELICIOUS DRINK,
BUT ONE OF THE THINGS
I REALLY LOVE ABOUT IT

IS THAT ONCE
THE BEVERAGE IS GONE,

YOU STILL GET TO CRUNCH
ON ALL THOSE DELICIOUS
TOMATOEY ICE CUBES.

HERE YOU GO, PETE.

PAS MAL.

DANG TOOTIN' IT'S PAS MAL.

NOW IT SHOULD BE NOTED
THAT ALCOHOL ANTHROPOLOGISTS

CREDIT HARRY'S BAR WITH

CREATING YET ANOTHER COCKTAIL
A DECADE LATER,

BUILT UPON BRANDY,
ORANGE LIQUEUR AND LEMON JUICE.

DUBBED "THE SIDECAR,"
IT BECAME THE POSTER DRINK

FOR AN ENTIRE CLASS OF
CITRUS‐BASED DRINKS

REFERRED TO AS "SOURS."

AND THE SIDECAR IS
FIRST COUSIN TO THE MARGARITA.

IRONIC, DON'T YOU THINK?

♪

ALTHOUGH THEY ARE BOTH
CLASSIC FRUIT‐BASED COCKTAIL,

THE BLOODY MARY
AND THE MARGARITA
COULD NOT BE MORE DIFFERENT.

IN THE BLOODY MARY, VODKA,
MORE PHANTOM THAN SPIRIT,

PLAYS SILENT PARTNER
TO THE CRIMSON NIGHTSHADE,

BUT EVERYTHING IN A MARGARITA,
A GOOD ONE AT LEAST,

SERVES THE TEQUILA.

AND WHEREAS VODKA CAN BE
MADE ANYWHERE FROM ANYTHING,

AS LONG AS IT'S THOROUGHLY
DISTILLED AND FILTERED,

TEQUILA IS ONE OF THE MOST
JEALOUSLY GUARDED AND REGULATED

VARIETAL PRODUCTS
ON THE PLANET.

IT IS ALSO ONE OF THE MOST
MISUNDERSTOOD.

NOW I WOULD LOVE TO
GO ON FOR HOURS

ABOUT THIS MYSTERIOUS SPIRIT,
BUT WE'RE A LITTLE PRESSED
FOR TIME,

SO HERE ARE THE TOP FOUR THINGS
YOU SIMPLY MUST KNOW
ABOUT TEQUILA...

ONE, TEQUILA IS MADE FROM
THE BLUE AGAVE PLANT,

NOT A CACTUS.

NOW WHEN THE AGAVE'S ABOUT
A DOZEN YEARS OLD,

WHICH IS CONSIDERABLY LARGER
THAN THIS,

THEY ARE DUG OUT BY HAND,
THE SPIKES ARE REMOVED
TO REVEAL THE HEART,

WHICH LOOKS SO MUCH
LIKE A PINEAPPLE,
THEY ACTUALLY CALL IT A PINA.

YES, THAT WAS AN ACTUAL
PINEAPPLE, SORRY ABOUT THAT.

NUMBER TWO, TEQUILA,
LIKE CHAMPAGNE
AND VIDALIA ONIONS,

CAN ONLY LEGALLY BE CALLED
TEQUILA

IF IT IS PRODUCED
IN VERY SPECIFIC AREAS,

INCLUDING THE STATES OF JALISCO,
AND LIMITED REGIONS OF

GUANAJUATO,

MICHOACAN, NAYARIT,
AND TAMAULIPAS.

ANY AGAVE‐BASED SPIRIT
MADE OUTSIDE THESE AREAS
ARE CALLED MEZCAL.

TEQUILA FACT NUMBER THREE...

THERE ARE ACTUALLY TWO
DIFFERENT CATEGORIES OF TEQUILA.

THERE IS 100 PERCENT AGAVE
TEQUILA

AND THEN THERE ARE
MIXTO TEQUILAS,

WHICH, BY LAW,
ONLY HAVE TO CONTAIN

51 PERCENT AGAVE,

THE OTHER 49 PERCENT OF WHICH
CAN BE...

WELL, WE CALL IT
HEADACHE IN A BOTTLE.

NOW IT'S WORTH NOTING
THAT THE NUMBER‐ONE SELLING
TEQUILA IN THE UNITED STATES ‐‐

VERY POPULAR WITH
THE COLLEGE KIDS ‐‐

IS IN FACT A MIXTO,
WHICH IS MISTAKEN
AS THE GOOD STUFF,

BECAUSE IT USUALLY HAS
THE WORD "GOLD" ASSOCIATED
WITH IT

BECAUSE OF THE CARAMEL COLORING.

NOW THE REALLY GOOD STUFF,

THE 100 PERCENT AGAVE,
DOES COST MORE THAN THE GOLD
STUFF,

BUT IT DOESN'T REALLY COST YOU
AN ENTIRE BUCKET OF MONEY,

IT'S JUST WE ALREADY HAD
THE PROPS AND THE WARDROBE
RENTED,

SO THERE YOU GO,
THAT'S THE GOOD STUFF.

FOUR...

WITHIN THE 100 PERCENT AGAVE
TERRITORY,

THERE ARE SEVERAL
CLASSIFICATIONS....

IT'S CRYSTAL CLEAR, LIKE VODKA,

AND STRAIGHT FROM THE STILL.

THE FLAVOR IS PURE AGAVE,
WHICH IS FLORAL, SPICY,
EVEN A LITTLE FRUITY...

OR RESTED, THE PALE GOLD
IS FROM THE WOOD,

WHICH ALSO LENDS A SUBTLE
SMOKINESS...

AND THE WOODINESS AND SMOKY
FLAVORS RESEMBLE THOSE OF
OTHER SPIRITS

THAT ARE AGED SIMILARLY,
SUCH AS SCOTCH WHISKEY,

AND OF COURSE, BOURBON.

THEN WE HAVE...

THEY ARE VERY, VERY DARK,
DUE TO SPENDING MORE
THAN THREE YEARS IN WOOD,

AND THESE ARE
REALLY EXPENSIVE TEQUILAS,

WHICH SHOULD BE SIPPED
AND SAVORED THE WAY YOU
WOULD ENJOY A FINE COGNAC,

OTHERWISE YOU'RE GONNA MISS OUT
ON THE SUBTLETIES,

AND THAT'S THE REAL WORD HERE.

I KEEP 100 PERCENT AGAVE SILVER,
OR WHITE TEQUILA, AROUND

FOR ALL MY MIXING NEEDS,

INCLUDING, OF COURSE,
THE MARGARITA.

NOW, MANY HAVE LAID CLAIM
TO THE CREATION OF
THE FIRST MARGARITA,

BUT WHOEVER DID THE MAKIN',
I'M WILLING TO BET FIVE TO ONE

IT WENT DOWN JUST LIKE THIS...

NOW IMAGINE, ONE NIGHT
IN THE MID '30s,

SOME SPIFFY GRINGO SWELLS
WERE WHOOPING IT UP IN
A HOT NIGHT CLUB,

MAYBE IN TIJUANA OR JUAREZ
OR MONTERREY,

AND ONE OF THEM TURNS TO
THE BARKEEP AND SAYS,

"WE'LL HAVE TWO SIDECARS."

COMO?
TWO SIDECARS.

S .

THE BARKEEP TURNS AND HE GRABS
THE ORANGE LIQUEUR,

BUT THEN HE REACHES FOR
THE BRANDY, THE KEY INGREDIENT,

AND OOH, HE'S JUST ABOUT OUT.

NOW THE BARTENDER,
WHO LOOKS LIKE PETE,
BUT ISN'T ACTUALLY PETE,

UM, SIZES UP THE CUSTOMERS
AND FIGURES THEY'LL NEVER NOTICE

IF HE SWITCHES IT OUT FOR
SOMETHING ELSE,
MAYBE TEQUILA, YEAH...

AND HE'S GOT PLENTY OF TEQUILA
RIGHT THERE,

AND IT'S NICE AND CHEAP TO BOOT.

OF COURSE, ON TOP OF THAT,
HE'LL ALSO NEED SOME
LEMON JUICE.

OH, HE'S OUT OF THAT,
SO HE REACHES FOR THE LIME ‐‐

NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER
OF INVENTION ‐‐

HE SHAKES IT UP
AND HE POURS IT DOWN

AND OF COURSE,
THE CUSTOMERS DRINK THEM DOWN
WITHOUT EVER NOTICING

THAT THEY WERE ACTUALLY
CONSUMING THE FIRST MARGARITAS
ON EARTH.

GOOD JOB, BARKEEP.

AND THAT'S HOW I JUST KNOW
IT HAPPENED.

THE REASON I KNOW IS THAT
IF THE MARGARITA HAD BEEN
BUILT FROM SCRATCH ‐‐

AND WELL I KNOW I'M ABOUT TO
COMMIT BEVERAGE HERESY HERE,

BUT, IF IT HAD BEEN DESIGNED
FROM SCRATCH,

THE ORANGE LIQUEUR WOULD
NEVER HAVE BEEN IN THE GLASS
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

AND SO, I SAY TO THOSE OF YOU
AT HOME,

UNLESS YOU REALLY LIKE
DRINKING ORANGE LIQUEUR,
OR SIDECARS,

JUST SKIP IT ALL TOGETHER,
AND SPEND THE MONEY
ON BETTER TEQUILA

AND A LITTLE BIT OF

AGAVE NECTAR.

HERE COMES THE MARGARITA
HARDWARE...

ONE COCKTAIL SHAKER ‐‐

UM, I LIKE THE TWO‐PIECE BOSTON
STYLE,

A SMALL LIQUID MEASURE ‐‐
I PREFER THE PLUNGER,
WHICH IS ADAPTABLE,

ONE CITRUS REAMER, A MUDDLER,
A COCKTAIL STRAINER,

AND A 12 OUNCE GLASS...
MARTINI OR COCKTAIL GLASS
WE CALL THAT.

TWO SAUCERS...

ONE WITH...

THE OTHER WITH...

IT SHOULD JUST COVER THE BOTTOM.

PERFECT.

NOW TAKE THE COCKTAIL GLASS,
INVERT,

AND DIP INTO THE TEQUILA THUSLY.

NOW JUST COUNT TO TEN.

BECAUSE IT EVAPORATES
FASTER THAN WATER

AND IS JUST A LITTLE BIT
ON THE STICKY SIDE,

TEQUILA WILL PROVIDE A BETTER,
WELL PRIMER, IF YOU WILL,

FOR THE SALT TO COME.

TIME'S UP.

SO JUST PLACE THE RIM
STRAIGHT DOWN IN THE SALT,

GIVE IT A WIGGLE, TAP OFF
THE EXCESS AND INVERT ‐‐
THAT PREP IS DONE.

NOW, AS FAR THE MARGARITA
ITSELF, WE START WITH
THE CITRUS.

WE'RE GONNA NEED...

YES, IT'S A LOT OF LIME,
BUT WE'RE ONLY GONNA BE
USING THE JUICE FROM PART OF IT,

THE REST WE'RE GOING TO BE
MUDDLING FOR THE OILS
IN THE SKIN,

THAT'S A VERY DIFFERENT
KIND OF FLAVOR.

SO, HERE WE GO, I LIKE TO USE
A REAMER

THAT ACTUALLY FITS
RIGHT ON THE COCKTAIL SHAKER,

BUT YOU CAN USE WHATEVER
JUICING DEVICE YOU'VE GOT.

THERE WE GO.

AND NEXT, JUST DUMP IN
THE ORANGES,

AND THEN COME BACK FOR
THE LIMES.

THERE WE GO, PERFECT.

NOW TYPICALLY, WE WOULD MUDDLE
WITH SUGAR,

BUT IN THIS CASE,
I'M GOING TO USE
THE AGAVE NECTAR ‐‐

2 TABLESPOONS OF IT ‐‐

IT IS MOSTLY FRUCTOSE,
SO IT'S SWEETER THAN
AN EQUAL AMOUNT OF SUCROSE,

BUT UNLIKE SAY, HONEY,
IT IS RELATIVELY NEUTRAL
IN FLAVOR

AND IT'S HIGHLY SOLUBLE
IN COLD LIQUIDS,
SO IT'S PERFECT FOR COCKTAILS.

MUDDLE THUSLY FOR
2 FULL MINUTES,

TO RELEASE, AGAIN,
NOT JUST THE JUICES,

BUT THE OILS IN THE SKINS.

NOW THIS STEP IS OFTEN
KIND OF GLOSSED OVER

IN THE FAST‐PACED PROFESSIONAL
BARTENDING WORLD.

DON'T MAKE THAT MISTAKE.

THERE, I THINK THE FRUIT
HAS GIVEN UP ALL THAT
IT'S GOT TO GIVE,

SO STRAIN INTO THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE COCKTAIL SHAKER,
OR JUST ANOTHER GLASS,

IF YOU'RE USING
THAT KIND OF MODEL.

AND MAKE SURE YOU GET
EVERY DROP POSSIBLE.

THEN, BRING FORTH...

AND OH, DON'T FORGET ABOUT
THAT 1/2 OUNCE BACK DOWN
IN THE SAUCER.

DON'T WANT TO WASTE THAT,
THAT GOES IN ON TOP.

THERE, NOW WE'RE GONNA
SHAKE THAT WITH...

AND THE BETTER QUALITY
THE ICE IS, THE BETTER QUALITY
THE DRINK WILL BE.

SHAKE FOR A FULL 30 SECONDS,

OR UNTIL THE OUTSIDE OF
THE SHAKER IS ICE COLD.

THEN SIMPLY STRAIN INTO
THE PREPARED GLASS THUSLY.

OH, AND OF COURSE,
APPLY THE LIME WHEEL.

THERE.

NOW THAT IS THE MARGARITA
THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN

IF THE MARGARITA HADN'T BEEN
A SIDECAR FIRST.

HMM...OH YEAH.

WELL, I CERTAINLY HOPE
THAT YOU HAVE ENJOYED LEARNING

A LITTLE ABOUT A COUPLE OF
PERFECTLY GOOD COCKTAILS

THAT WE AMERICANS LED ASTRAY.

LUCKILY, AMERICANS POSSESS
THE INGENUITY, SAVVY,

MATERIALS AND SKILLS NECESSARY
TO REPAIR WHATEVER

ETHNO‐CULINARY HABIT
WE WREAK, RIGHT?

WELL, SOMETIMES WE DO.

THIS TIME WE DO...
SEE YOU NEXT TIME
ON "GOOD EATS,"

AND OH, REMEMBER,
PLEASE ENJOY RESPONSIBLY ‐‐
THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT.

Closed Captions Provided by
Scripps Networks, LLC

I GOTTA GET OUT OF
THIS BUSINESS.

THAT'S REALLY THE BEST
YOU'VE GOT, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I WAS SO NERVOUS.
CUT!