Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 12, Episode 14 - Orange Aid - full transcript

YEARS WE HAVE
DEDICATED QUITE A FEW SHOWS

TO POPULAR PANTRY STAPLES.

YOU KNOW, DRY PASTA, BEANS,
TOMATO SAUCE, LENTILS,

VINEGAR, HONEY, AND THE LIKE.

BUT PERHAPS IT'S TIME
WE DUG A LITTLE DEEPER.

AH...

YOU KNOW, VENTURING BACK
INTO THE DARK RECESSES OF
YOUR PANTRY

IS KIND OF LIKE BECOMING
AN ARCHAEOLOGIST OF YOUR
OWN COOKING.

YOU SEE THINGS THAT YOU BOUGHT
ONE TIME FOR ONE DISH

AND THEN YOU JUST SHOVED IT ALL
FURTHER AND FURTHER BACK.

YOU KNOW, LIKE MATZO MEAL,
MARASCHINO CHERRY VINEGAR,



MEAT EXTRACT...

OH, AND I BET MOST OF US HAVE
A JAR JUST LIKE THIS

SITTING IN THE DUSTY SHADOWS.

MOLASSES.

I PROBABLY BOUGHT IT,
YOU KNOW, TEN YEARS AGO
FOR SPICE COOKIES.

BUT YOU KNOW, ONCE UPON A TIME,
THIS WAS THE SWEETENER OF CHOICE

FOR MOST AMERICANS WHO COULDN'T
AFFORD THE HIGH PRICES OF
REFINED SUGAR.

BUT HISTORICAL PRECEDENT
NOT WITHSTANDING,

MOLASSES IS FAR MORE VITAL STUFF
THAN YOU MIGHT THINK.

IT CAN DO REAL MIRACLES
WITH FLAVOR AND TEXTURE,

THINGS THAT SUGAR COULD
ONLY DREAM ABOUT.

YEAH, IT MAY BE A LITTLE SLOW
ON THE POUR,

AND I DON'T KNOW,
OPINIONATED ON THE PALATE,

A LITTLE OLD-FASHIONED.



BUT BELIEVE ME, MOLASSES IS
DEEP, DARK, AND DARING...

¶

MOLASSES IS A BY-PRODUCT OF
SUGAR MAKING.

AND MOST AMERICAN SUGAR IS BORN
IN THE RICH MUCK OF
SOUTHERN FLORIDA

WHERE SUGARCANE STRETCHES AS FAR
AS THE EYE CAN SEE.

A HELICOPTER IS THE PREFERRED
METHOD OF TRAVEL.

NOW WHEN THE TROPICAL GRASS
MATURES IN WINTER,

THE GREEN LEAVES ARE BURNED AWAY
SO THAT THE HARVESTERS CAN REAP
THE SUGAR BEARING STALKS.

THIS IS A PROCESS, BY THE WAY,
THAT JUST ONE GENERATION AGO

WAS ACCOMPLISHED EXCLUSIVELY
BY HAND, IF YOU CAN IMAGINE.

THE CHOPPED CANE IS LOADED
INTO TRAILERS

AND THEN TRUCKED TO A MILL

AND DUMPED ON CONVEYORS
WHICH FEED THE TANDEMS,

MASSIVE ENGINES OF DESTRUCTION,

WHICH REPEATEDLY CHOP, GRIND,
MANGLE, SQUEEZE, WASH,

AND THEN SQUEEZE
THE PLANT FIBERS

UNTIL THEY SURRENDER EVERY
POSSIBLE MOLECULE OF SUCROSE.

AND JUST SO THAT NOTHING
GOES TO WASTE,

MOST MILLS TAKE THE SPENT CANE,
OR BAGASSE, AND BURN IT,

IN ORDER TO GENERATE
THE ELECTRICITY REQUIRED
BY THE PROCESS.

NOW THE RESULTING CANE JUICE,
OR MOTHER LIQUOR,
AS IT'S CALLED,

MUST BE CLARIFIED TO REMOVE
ANY IMPURITIES LIKE DIRT
OR BUG PARTS

BEFORE IT CAN CONTINUE THROUGH
THE REFINING PROCESS.

THE SQUEAKY CLEAN CANE SYRUP IS
THEN BOILED

IN MACHINES CALLED VACUUM PANS
TO INITIATE THE FORMATION OF
SUGAR CRYSTALS.

THE MIXTURE THAT COMES OUT OF
THESE MACHINES

IS THEN SPUN IN A CENTRIFUGE,

WHICH WORKS LIKE THE SPIN CYCLE
OF A HOME WASHING MACHINE,

TO SEPARATE THOSE RAW SUGAR
CRYSTALS FROM THE FIRST STRIKE,

OR WHAT'S CALLED
'FANCY' MOLASSES.

NOW SOME OF THIS IS SHIPPED TO
A GRATEFUL WORLD.

THE REST IS BOILED AND SPUN
SEVERAL MORE TIMES,

UNTIL FINALLY, EVERY SCRAP OF
CRYSTAL WORTHY SUCROSE

HAS BEEN GLEANED,

AND ALL THAT'S LEFT IS
THE HARSH, SMOKY, EDGY MOLASSES

KNOWN AS BLACKSTRAP.

A PRODUCT GOOD FOR FEEDING
THE COWS

AND, ONCE UPON A TIME,
DISTILLING INTO RUM.

ALTHOUGH WE USUALLY THINK OF
MOLASSES AS AN INGREDIENT
IN COOKING,

ITS PRIMARY USE IN COLONIAL
AMERICA WAS DISTILLING.

YOU SEE, LONG BEFORE THERE WAS
A SUGAR INDUSTRY IN FLORIDA,

THERE WERE MASSIVE CANE
PLANTATIONS IN THE CARIBBEAN,

WHERE AFRICAN SLAVES TOILED
UNDER THE WHIPS OF GREEDY
COLONIALS,

WHO, LIKE MODERN DAY DRUG LORDS,
GREW FAT SELLING EUROPE ITS FIX

OF THE WHITE POWDER -- SUGAR.

NOW THERE WAS NO OLD-WORLD
MARKET FOR THE LEFTOVER
MOLASSES, RIGHT,

SO IT WAS HAULED UP TO
NEW ENGLAND

WHERE IT BECAME KILLDEVIL,
RUMBULLION, RUM.

WHICH AMERICANS CONSUMED
AT A PER CAPITA RATE

OF 3 GALLONS A YEAR.

LITTLE KIDDIES TOO.

NOW RUM WAS SO CHEAP THAT
EVEN THE BUDGET STRANGLED
CONTINENTAL CONGRESS

QUAFFED A STEADY RIVER
OF THE STUFF

WHILE DEBATING
RICHARD HENRY LEE'S RESOLUTION
FOR INDEPENDENCY.

HEY, FRANKLIN, GET YOUR MITTS
OFF THE HELP

AND GO FLY A KITE OR SOMETHING,
ALL RIGHT?

TAKE JEFFERSON WITH YOU,
THIS FIDDLE SCRATCHIN' IS
GIVING ME A MIGRAINE!

SORRY.

IRONICALLY, MOLASSES USE ALSO
LED TO FREEDOMS.

BRITISH TARIFFS CONCERNING
SUGAR AND MOLASSES

FIRED UP COLONISTS FAR MORE THAN
ANYTHING DEALING WITH TEA.

EVEN JOHN ADAMS HIMSELF WAS
LATER QUOTED AS SAYING...

(slurring)
I KNOW NOT WHY WE SHOULD BLUSH
TO CONFESS THAT MOLASSES

WAS AN ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT
IN AMERICAN INDEPENDENCE.

MANY GREAT EVENTS WERE PROCEEDED
FROM MUCH SMALLER CAUSES.

HEY, FRANKLIN,
WAIT UP!

VERY ELOQUENT, VERY NICE,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

NOW YOU HAVE TO REALIZE THAT
NOT ALL OF THE MOLASSES

THAT CAME INTO THE DOCKS
OF NEW ENGLAND ENDED UP AS RUM.

TAKE BOSTON FOR INSTANCE,

TWO CLASSIC...
UM, DISHES FROM THERE...

UH, DEPEND ON MOLASSES
AND IT'S....
SPICY GOODNESS.

CONSIDER FOR INSTANCE,
BOSTON BAKED BEANS,

AND OF COURSE,
BOSTON BROWN BREAD.

ORIGINALLY, BOSTON BROWN BREAD
WAS COOKED ON THE HEARTH

OR EVEN OVER A CAMPFIRE,

BY STEAMING IT IN A CYLINDRICAL
MOLD,

MORE OR LESS CONFORMING TO
THE TRADITION OF AN ENGLISH
PUDDING.

NOW THESE MOLDS ARE PRETTY TOUGH
TO FIND THESE DAYS,

BUT AN EMPTY COFFEE CAN
WILL DO JUST FINE.

JUST REMEMBER THIS IS NOT
A NO-STICK SURFACE,

SO LUBE LIBERALLY WITH SPRAY
OR SHORTENING.

BESIDES THE MOLASSES,
BOSTON BROWN BREAD IS DEFINED
BY A TRIO OF GRAINS.

WHEAT, RYE, AND CORN.

NOW THIS ARRANGEMENT PROBABLY
RESULTED FROM THE FACT THAT

EVER-THRIFTY NEW ENGLANDERS
NEEDED A BREAD THAT WORKED

WITH THEIR LIMITED
AND EVER-SHIFTING RESOURCES.

OF COURSE, EACH IS USED IN
THE MANUFACTURING OF SPIRITS,

SO MAYBE THIS BREAD REALLY WAS
BORN EXCLUSIVELY OF THE HOOCH
INDUSTRY.

ALL RIGHT, OVEN PREP,

WE'RE GONNA SET IT FOR
325 DEGREES

AND PUT A 3-QUART OVEN-APPROVED
PAN OR POT RIGHT SMACK DAB
IN THE MIDDLE.

I'LL EXPLAIN LATER.

ALL RIGHT, TIME TO INTRODUCE
THE BOSTON BROWN BREAD BATTER
TEAMS.

WE BEGIN WITH THE DRY TEAM --
2 1/2 OUNCES BY WEIGHT OF
CORNMEAL,

AND THE SAME AMOUNT OF
RYE FLOUR,

AND THE VERY SAME AMOUNT OF
WHEAT FLOUR.

THAT'S EASY TO REMEMBER.

NOW THE LEAVENING,
1/2 TEASPOON EACH OF BAKING SODA
AND BAKING POWDER.

WHILE WE'RE AT IT,
1/2 TEASPOON OF KOSHER SALT

AND OF ALLSPICE,
FRESH GROUND WOULD BE BEST.

GRAB YOURSELF A WHISK
AND BRING THAT TOGETHER.

THEN THE WET TEAM.

8 1/2 OUNCES OF BUTTERMILK,
1 TEASPOON OF VANILLA EXTRACT,

THERE WE GO.

AND 1/2 TEASPOON OF FRESH ORANGE
ZEST.

AND YES, WE DO USUALLY CONSIDER
THAT TO BE A WET INGREDIENT.

AND I'M NOT MEASURING,
THAT LOOKS LIKE ENOUGH.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST,
6 OUNCES BY WEIGHT OF MOLASSES.

AND BY THE WAY, A PLUNGER CUP
IS A MUCH EASIER DISTRIBUTION
DEVICE.

THERE WE GO,
NOW WHISK TO COMBINE.

NOW WHEN IT LOOKS...
REALLY DISGUSTING,

YOU ARE READY TO DOUBLE CHECK
THE WEIGHT.

NOW THIS IS JUST FOR
DISTRIBUTION PURPOSES.

WE'VE GOT 1.9 POUNDS,
I'M GONNA CALL THAT 26 OUNCES,

WHICH WE WILL DISTRIBUTE INTO
TWO SMALL CANS,

WHICH WE DISCUSSED BEFORE,

AND I'M GONNA USE A CANNING
FUNNEL TO TRY TO GET AS CLOSE
TO 13 OUNCES INTO EACH ONE.

WE'RE DEFINITELY GONNA LOSE
SOME IN THE BOWL,

SO WE'LL PROBABLY END UP WITH
ABOUT 12 1/2.

NOW IF A DENSE, MOIST, CAKE-LIKE
BREAD IS DESIRED,

AND IT IS,
WE'VE GOTTA DO TWO THINGS --

WE HAVE TO SLOW THE ABSORPTION
OF HEAT INTO THE BATTER,

AND WE ALSO NEED TO LIMIT
THE BATTER'S EXPANSION,
WHAT'S CALLED "OVEN SPRING."

SO THE CANS WILL BE TOPPED WITH
DOUBLE LAYERS OF FOIL

TIED IN PLACE WITH STRING.

THOSE GO INTO THE MIDDLE OF
THE POT.

WE'RE GONNA ADD ENOUGH BOILING
WATER TO COME ABOUT HALFWAY UP
THE SIDE OF THE PAN.

THERE, NOW WE'RE GONNA SET
THE TIMER FOR ONE HOUR
AND 15 MINUTES.

NOW I KNOW THAT IT LOOKED LIKE
THERE WAS PLENTY OF ROOM
IN THOSE CANS,

BUT BELIEVE ME, IF I HAD PACKED
ALL OF THAT BATTER INTO ONE,

WE WOULD BE FACING A MASSIVE
MOLASSES EXPLOSION IN THAT OVEN.

AND THERE IS A PRECEDENT
FOR THAT KIND OF THING, OKAY?

JANUARY 15th, 1919,
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS,

CARBON DIOXIDE BUILT UP
IN A GIANT STEEL TANK

FILLED WITH 12,000 TONS OF
MOLASSES.

THE TANK EXPLODED, RELEASING
A 15-FOOT-TALL TIDAL WAVE OF
STICKY GOO,

WHICH RACED ACROSS THE NORTH END
OF THE CITY AT ABOUT 35 MILES
PER HOUR.

OKAY, NOW 21 PEOPLE DIED
AND ANOTHER 100 WERE HURT.

BUILDINGS WERE DESTROYED
AND TRAINS ACTUALLY LIFTED
RIGHT OFF OF THE TRACKS.

NOW PEOPLE WHO INHABIT THE AREA
TODAY SAY THAT YOU CAN STILL
SMELL MOLASSES ON HOT DAYS.

WE'RE NOT GONNA LET THIS HAPPEN
TO US.

OKAY, TIME IS UP
AND WE WILL TAKE A LOOK.

SO JUST SNIP THE STRING
OFF OF ONE CAN.

DON'T WORRY IF IT FALLS
INTO THE WATER.

AND KINDA WORK THE FOIL OFF.

NOW IF YOU SEE THAT THE BREAD
HAS ACTUALLY PULLED AWAY FROM
THE SIDE OF THE CAN,

THEN WE ARE GOOD TO GO.

BUT LET THESE REST OUT ON A RACK
FOR ABOUT AN HOUR
BEFORE DE-CANNING.

AH, THERE YOU GO.

WOW, UM, IT MAY NOT BE PRETTY,
BUT THE FRAGRANCE IS HEADY,
ISN'T IT?

HOW WOULD YOU KNOW,
I'M SORRY.

NOW AS YOU CAN SEE,
IT'S DENSE, IT'S MOIST,
IT'S DARK,

AND TRUST ME, IT'S...
IT'S CHEWY.

A FABULOUS HOLIDAY LOAF.

ALSO APPROPRIATE WITH
BOSTON BAKED BEANS.

NOW I REALIZE, OF COURSE,
THAT THE TRUE MOLASSES HEADS
AMONG YOU

ARE HOLDING OUT FOR DESSERT.

FINE,
LET'S TAKE A LITTLE DRIVE.

"I BREAK FOR SHOOFLY PIE"
IS THE OFFICIAL STATE BUMPER
STICKER FOR PENNSYLVANIA.

AND WE'VE GOT THE PENNSYLVANIA
DUTCH TO THANK.

ACTUALLY WE HAVE
THE PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH TO THANK
FOR A LOT OF THINGS.

BUT ESPECIALLY THIS GOOEY,
OR WET-BOTTOM PIE,

WHICH IS SAID TO BE SO SWEET
AND DELICIOUS THAT

YOU JUST CAN'T KEEP THE FLIES
OFF OF IT.

IT IS ESPECIALLY ALLURING TO ME
BECAUSE UNLIKE MOST MODERN
AMERICAN DESSERTS,

WHICH ARE SWEET,
BUT LITTLE ELSE,

SHOOFLY HAS CHARACTER, DEPTH,
MOLASSES.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?
PLAIN ENOUGH?

OKAY, LET'S DO IT.

BY THE WAY, THE DUTCH OF
PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH DOES NOT
REFER TO HOLLAND,

BUT TO DEUTSCHLAND.

YOU SEE, MOST OF THE SETTLERS
IN THIS REGION WERE GERMANS
OR SWISS

WHO CAME HERE IN
THE 17th CENTURY TO ESCAPE
RELIGIOUS PERSECUTION

BACK IN THE HOMELAND.

NOW THE PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH
BECAME AMERICA'S PREEMINENT
DESSERT DESIGNERS.

AND PIE, WHICH THEY CONSIDER
APPROPRIATE AT ANY TIME OF DAY,

EVEN BREAKFAST,
IS AT THE TOP OF THEIR TOTEM.

NOW BEHOLD, THE SHOOFLY PIE,

WHICH ALMOST LOOKS LIKE
SOMEONE SPILLED MOLASSES
ON A COFFEE CAKE BATTER

AND THEN TRIED TO HIDE
THE GAFF BY BAKING IT INTO
A PIE SHELL.

HISTORIANS SUSPECT THAT THIS ODD
HYBRID EVOLVED AS A WAY

TO UTILIZE RESIDUAL HEAT
LEFT OVER IN AN OVEN

AFTER BREAD BAKING,
VERY THRIFTY.

AH, WHEW,
THAT'S BETTER.

I'LL JUST EAT THIS
IN THE BUGGY.

BAKING SHOOFLY PIE IS WELL...
RIDICULOUSLY EASY.

JUST OBTAIN A 9-INCH PIE CRUST,
BY USING THE BASIC VERSION THAT

WE PUT TOGETHER IN OUR
AWARD-WINNING EPISODE "I PIE,"

OR YOU COULD BUY ONE
AT THE GROCERY STORE.

BUT WE WON'T TELL,
JUST MAKE SURE IT'S THAWED
BEFORE YOU...

DOCK IT,
THAT IS, POKE IT FULL OF HOLES
WITH A FORK

TO LET STEAM OUT.

THEN LINE THIS WITH PARCHMENT
PAPER AND FILL WITH PIE WEIGHTS,

OR BEANS, WHICH ARE CHEAPER.

SLIDE THIS INTO THE MIDDLE
OF A 425-DEGREE OVEN

FOR TEN MINUTES.

OKAY, TIME FOR THE WEIGHTS
TO GO.

NOW I ALWAYS BRING A RECEPTACLE
TO CATCH THESE IN

'CAUSE THEY'RE GONNA BE HOT.

AND TRY TO WORK QUICKLY
AND PULL STRAIGHT UP

BECAUSE THE DOUGH IS STILL
FRAGILE.

THERE, NOW WE'LL BAKE FOR
ANOTHER SEVEN MINUTES.

ONE OF THE KEY INGREDIENTS
IN SHOOFLY PIE IS...

BROWN SUGAR.

OH, NUTS, IT'S EMPTY!

ARE WE DOOMED?

NOT AS LONG AS WE HAVE REGULAR
SUGAR AND MOLASSES ON HAND
WE'RE NOT!

ONCE UPON A TIME, BROWN SUGAR
WAS SIMPLY UNREFINED SUGAR.

BUT TODAY IT'S LILY-WHITE
TABLE SUCROSE WITH MOLASSES
ADDED.

AND WE CAN DO THAT OURSELVES.

SO ONE POUND OF PLAIN OLD SUGAR
GOES INTO THE FOOD PROCESSOR

ALONG WITH 3 OUNCES BY WEIGHT
OF MOLASSES.

WE'LL JUST TAKE THIS FOR A SPIN,
SCRAPING DOWN THE BOWL EVERY NOW
AND THEN

UNTIL THE MOLASSES IS COMPLETELY
INCORPORATED.

IT'LL TAKE ABOUT A MINUTE.

STORED IN AN AIRTIGHT CONTAINER
THIS MIXTURE SHOULD REMAIN
VIABLE FOR UP TO A MONTH,

AFTER THAT IT'LL GET A LITTLE
CRUSTY.

YOU SEEM SURPRISED.

I MEAN, WHAT DID YOU THINK
BROWN SUGAR WAS?

SUCROSE WITH A TAN?

LET'S MAKE PIE.

FIRST WE'RE GOING TO ASSEMBLE
OUR CRUMB MIXTURE,

THIS IS 5 1/2 OUNCES BY WEIGHT
OF ALL-PURPOSE FLOUR,

WE'VE GOT 2 TABLESPOONS OF
COLD UNSALTED BUTTER,

4 OUNCES OF DARK BROWN SUGAR,
YES, HOMEMADE,

AND 1/4 TEASPOON OF KOSHER SALT.

NOW JUST LID UP
AND BUZZ THAT TO COMBINE.

THERE.

NOW WE'RE GONNA SAVE
JUST 1/4 CUP OF THIS
FOR A LATER PURPOSE.

TO MAKE OUR FILLING WE'LL NEED
A BIG MIXING BOWL,
METAL OR GLASS WILL DO,

PLACE INTO THE BOTTOM
3/4 TEASPOON OF BAKING SODA

AND TOP THAT WITH
3/4 CUP OF BOILING WATER.

NOW IN ALL THE BAKING THAT
WE HAVE DONE ON THIS SHOW,

WE HAVE NEVER ATTEMPTED THIS
MANEUVER.

SO WHY BOTHER?

WELL, MOLASSES IS ACIDIC,
SODA IS ALKALINE.

BY BRINGING THEM TOGETHER
WE CREATE A SLIGHTLY ALKALINE
BATTER,

AND ALKALINE BATTERS TEND TO
BAKE UP DARK, RICH, AND MOIST.

SO WHY NOT JUST DUMP THE POWDER
INTO THE BATTER THE WAY WE'VE
DONE BEFORE?

WELL, BECAUSE WHEN BAKING SODA
AND ACIDS COME TOGETHER

CARBON DIOXIDE IS RELEASED.

NOW THIS ACTION PROVIDES
LEAVENING TO MANY BAKED GOODS,

BUT HERE'S THE THING --
IN THIS CASE, WE DON'T WANT
ANY LEAVENING.

SO BY DISSOLVING THE SODA,
WE THUS CREATE AN ALKALINE
AQUEOUS SOLUTION,

AS WITNESSED BY THIS
LITMUS PAPER.

NOW WHEN MIXED INTO THE BATTER,
THE CO2 WILL QUICKLY BE RELEASED

LEAVING US WITH A HIGHER PH,
BUT ZERO LIFT.

I TOLD YOU THOSE PENNSYLVANIA
DUTCH ARE CRAFTY.

ALL RIGHT, WE CONTINUE.

NEXT IN, 8 OUNCES BY WEIGHT
OF MOLASSES.

ONE WHOLE BEATEN EGG.

AND A TEASPOON OF VANILLA
EXTRACT.

WHISK THAT TOGETHER
AND THEN INTRODUCE THE LARGER
AMOUNT OF THE CRUMB MIXTURE

TO THE PARTY.

WHISK TO COMBINE.

ALL RIGHT, LET US MOVE
TO THE CRUST.

POUR THAT IN,

AND THEN WE TOP WITH
THE RESERVED BIT OF
THE CRUMB MIXTURE.

ALL RIGHT, PIE GOES INTO
THE 350-DEGREE OVEN.

AND SET YOUR TIMER FOR LET'S SAY
40 TO 45 MINUTES,

OR UNTIL THE PIE PUFFS SLIGHTLY
AND STARTS TO SORT OF DRY
AND CRACK ON TOP.

OKAY, GOOD.

THERE WE GO, LOOKS PERFECT.

NOW GET THIS OUT ONTO A RACK
AND LET IT COOL 1 1/2 TO 2 HOURS
BEFORE CUTTING.

MMM, MMM, SWEET,
BUT NOT CLOYING.

COMPLEX WITHOUT BEING BOSSY.

AND EVEN AFTER A LONG HIATUS
IN THE HEAT,

IT IS LUSCIOUSLY MOIST,
HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

WELL, LET US REMEMBER,
MOLASSES IS A BY-PRODUCT OF
SUCROSE REFINING.

AND IT STILL CONTAINS
A CONSIDERABLE NUMBER OF THOSE
DOUBLE SUGAR MOLECULES,

BUT MOST OF THEM HAVE BEEN SPLIT
INTO SINGLE SUGARS,
I.E. GLUCOSE AND FRUCTOSE.

NOW FRUCTOSE IS SPECIAL STUFF
BECAUSE IT IS FAR, FAR MORE
HYGROSCOPIC,

OR WATER LOVING, THAN SUCROSE,

WHICH IS WHY MOLASSES BAKED
GOODS TEND TO COME OUT OF
THE OVEN VERY MOIST.

AND SINCE THEY CAN LITERALLY
PULL HUMIDITY OUT OF THE AIR,

THEY REMAIN MOIST.

NOW AS TO WHETHER OR NOT
FLIES ACTUALLY LIKE THIS TYPE
OF THING...

(fly buzzing)

HELP ME!

NOW THE VERY ATTRIBUTES THAT
ENABLE MOLASSES TO HOLD ONTO
MOISTURE IN BAKED GOODS

CAN BE EMPLOYED IN MARINADES
FOR MEAT.

NOW NOT ONLY WOULD A SOAK
IN A MOLASSES-ADE, SO TO SPEAK,

HELP WITH MOISTURE RETENTION
AND UP THE FLAVOR QUOTIENT,

THE LIQUID CAN BE BOILED DOWN
INTO A SAUCE AS THE MEAT COOKS.

NOW SPEAKING OF MEAT, I CAN
THINK OF NO BETTER MOLASSES
MATE THAN PORK CHOPS.

AND I SEEM TO BE IN POSSESSION
HERE OF FOUR OF THEM,

IN THE 6 TO 8 OUNCE RANGE.

AND LOOK! THEY'RE ALREADY
CONVENIENTLY CONVALESCING
IN A 1-GALLON ZIP TOP BAG.

SO TO THIS WE WILL ADD 6 OUNCES
OF THE MOLASSES OF YOUR CHOICE,

EVEN BLACKSTRAP WOULD BE FINE.

AND FOR A LITTLE MORE LIQUID,
I'M GONNA ADD 1 CUP OF STRONG,
COLD COFFEE.

YES, I SAVE MY LEFTOVER COFFEE
BECAUSE I LIKE ICING IT LATER.

NOW I NEVER MARINATE WITHOUT
AN ADDED ACID OR TWO.

SO IN THIS CASE WE'LL GO WITH
2 TABLESPOONS OF APPLE CIDER
VINEGAR.

AND 1 TABLESPOON OF
DIJON MUSTARD.

NEXT, TWO CLOVES OF GARLIC,
MINCED.

WE'LL SAY 1 TEASPOON OF
KOSHER SALT.

1/2 TEASPOON OF GROUND GINGER,
VERY NICE.

SIX TO EIGHT SPRIGS OF
FRESH THYME.

AND 1/2 TEASPOON OF
BLACK PEPPER.

THERE, NOW SEAL THE BAG,
REMOVING AS MUCH OF THE AIR
AS POSSIBLE.

THEN GENTLY MASSAGE
TO COMBINE.

WHEN EVERYTHING LOOKS NICE
AND STIRRED TOGETHER

WE WILL RETURN THIS TO
ITS APPOINTED CONTAINMENT

AND INTO THE CHILL CHEST
FOR A MINIMUM OF TWO HOURS.

BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU,
OVERNIGHT WOULD BE A WHOLE LOT
BETTER.

WHEN THE TIME COMES FOR
YOUR CHOPS TO FACE THE FIRE,

IN OUR CASE IT WILL BE FIRE,

DRAIN THE MARINADE INTO
A SMALL SAUCE PAN

AND GET THAT OVER HIGH HEAT.

YOU'LL REDUCE THAT DOWN
UNTIL IT'S ABOUT 1/2 TO 3/4 CUP
OF LIQUID.

THAT'LL BE JUST ENOUGH TIME
TO GRILL YOUR CHOPS OVER
MEDIUM-HIGH HEAT,

I'M GONNA CALL THAT 400 TO 425.

FLIP ONCE OR TWICE AND MAKE SURE
YOU HIT 145 DEGREES OF INTERNAL
TEMPERATURE BEFORE EXTRACTION.

OH, AND DON'T FORGET THE SAUCE,
AH, THAT'S NICE.

LET YOUR CHOPS REST FOR
FIVE MINUTES

AND THEN TOP WITH THE REDUCED
MARINADE.

IT'S KINDA LIKE HAVING
YOUR OWN FREE MOLASSES BARBECUE
SAUCE.

(fly buzzing)
ALMOST AS GOOD AS SHOOFLY PIE.

AH, WELL, I HOPE THAT WE'VE
CONVINCED YOU TO MOVE MOLASSES

OUT OF THE PANTRY SHADOWS
AND INTO THE LIGHT.

MAYBE NOT RIGHT UP FRONT,
BUT AT LEAST THE SECOND ROW.

NOW AS FOR THE REST OF
THE PANTRY,

WELL, GIVE US A LITTLE BIT OF
TIME

AND MAYBE WE'LL EVEN FIND A USE
FOR THAT MATZO MEAL

AND MARASCHINO CHERRY VINEGAR.

GOSH, LOOKS LIKE THIS THING
KEEPS GOING.

NOW YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO EXCUSE
ME, I THINK I'M GONNA GO
SPELUNKING

FOR SOMETHING REALLY ANCIENT,

MAYBE SOME QUINOA OR HOREHOUND,
OR GRANDMA BROWN'S PICKLED
PRUNES.

SEE YOU NEXT TIME
ON "GOOD EATS."

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