Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 11, Episode 19 - Going Dutch - full transcript

OOH--

CUPCAKES.

YES, DO YOU
HAVE A RESERVATION?

NO, NO, I'M JUST, I'M JUST
GONNA GET SOMETHING TO GO.

QUITE... DO YOU HAVE
A RESERVATION?

NO, I WANT
JUST A CUPCAKE.

AND SO YOU THOUGHT
YOU'D JUST TRAIPSE ON IN

AND PICK ONE UP, DID YOU?
PRETTY MUCH THE PLAN.

ALL OF CHEF MAURICE'S
CREATIONS

ARE SPOKEN FOR
WEEKS IN ADVANCE.

HE COULD FIT YOU IN, UH...



AH, A WEEK FROM THURSDAY,

BUT IT WILL HAVE TO BE
A VANILLA, NO FROSTING--

CREDIT CARD?
FOR WHAT?

TO HOLD THE
RESERVATION, SIR.

FOR A CUPCAKE?

THIS IS
CHEZ GATEAU DE CUP.

YES, PLACE OF
CAKE OF CUP, I KNOW.

YOU MAKE CUPCAKES,

WHICH ARE SUPPOSED
TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY

AND CHILDLIKE.
HUH.

BUT INSTEAD, YOU AND
THE FOODIE COGNOSCENTE

HAVE CORRUPTED THEM

INTO FUSSY, HEAVY,
GROWINGLY CLEVER

AND SICKENINGLY SWEET CUPS
OF CONDESCENSION,



AND I THINK I SHALL
NOW WAGE WAR

UPON YOU AND YOUR ILK.

HMM. SECURITY.
OH, IN A
CUPCAKE PLACE!

OH, YES.
OH, THAT'S IT,
AMERICA,

IT IS UP TO US
TO TAKE BACK THE CUPCAKE

FROM THOSE
WHO WILL KEEP US DOWN.

CUPCAKES ARE THE PASTRY
OF AND FOR THE PEOPLE,

NOT HIGHBROW SNARF
FOR URBANATED SHARPS.

I'LL BE BACK, MISTER,

AND WHEN I COME,
I'M BRINGING...

Closed Captions provided by
Scripps Networks, LLC.

Captioned by
Closed Captioning Services, Inc.

ALTHOUGH TODAY'S UPWARDLY MOBILE
CUPCAKE MAY HAVE AN ANCESTOR

IN THE QUEEN CAKE,

A SMALL INDIVIDUAL POUND CAKE

WITH FRUIT BAKED
IN A PAPER CUP--

UH, IT WAS POPULAR

WITH UPPER-CRUSTY
18th-CENTURY BRITS--

THE PASTRY IS AS WE KNOW IT
IS STRICTLY AMERICAN FARE.

BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT ITS
HISTORY IS SIMPLE TO TRACE.

FOR INSTANCE, IN AMERICAN
BAKING, THERE IS THE CUPCAKE.

AND THEN THE CUP CAKE.

NOW THE CUP CAKE EVOLVED

OUT OF AN ALMOST COMPLETE LACK
OF STANDARD WEIGHTS AND MEASURES

IN COLONIAL AMERICA,

NOT THAT MOST AMERICAN
HOUSEHOLDS HAD THE SCALES

THAT MADE PRECISION
OLD-WORLD BAKING

POSSIBLE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

WHEN IT CAME TO VOLUMETRIC
MEASURE, ABOUT ALL WE REALLY HAD

WAS THE QUEEN ANNE GALLON,
WHICH WEIGHED TEN POUNDS.

ANYTHING UNDER THAT AND, WELL,
YOU WERE KIND OF ON YOUR OWN.

NOW SEEKING CONVENIENCE
AND CONSISTENCY,

AMERICAN BAKERS REACHED
INTO THEIR CUPBOARDS

FOR, IRONICALLY--

A CUP.

ALTHOUGH IT MIGHT NOT BE
THE 8-FLUID OUNCES

WE'RE USED TO TODAY,

IT WAS SOMETHING THAT COLONIAL
HOUSEWIVES COULD RELATE TO.

NOW THE SHIFT FROM
WEIGHTS TO CUPS

HERALDED IN A WHOLE
NEW AGE OF CAKE RECIPES,

WHICH CAME TO BE
KNOWN AS CUP CAKES,

BECAUSE THE CUP WAS
THE STANDARD OF MEASURE.

NOW WHAT DOES THIS
HAVE TO DO WITH...

CUPCAKES?

WELL, THAT DEPENDS
ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT.

WELCOME TO THE AVERAGE
COLONIAL KITCHEN. THAT'S RIGHT.

BACK IN THE DAYS BEFORE
THE ENCLOSED IRON OVEN,

MOST COOKING
WAS DONE RIGHT HERE.

STEWS, BEANS AND WHATNOT
SIMMERED IN DUTCH OVENS,

MEATS ROASTED ON SPITS.

AND A LOT OF BAKING GOT DONE,
TOO, BUT IT WAS TEDIOUS,

AND LARGE CAKES WERE
ESPECIALLY HARD TO PULL OFF.

AND SO FOLKS GOT INTO THE HABIT

OF BAKING LOTS
OF LITTLE-BITTY CAKES

IN THINGS LIKE,

THAT'S RIGHT, CUPS--
HEATPROOF, OF COURSE.

BATTER WOULD GO IN

AND THEY WOULD JUST SET THEM
RIGHT AT THE EDGE OF THE FIRE,

AND BINGO,
YOU COULD HAVE A CUP CAKE,

WHICH WOULD ALSO
BE A CUPCAKE, GET IT?

MOST CAKES SPRING FROM THIS
HUMBLE HANDFUL OF INGREDIENTS.

THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN
THE MANY FINAL FORMS

COME IN PART FROM
THE EXACT AMOUNTS,

BUT MORE OFTEN THAN NOT,
IT'S THE MIXING THAT MATTERS.

MOST AMERICAN CAKES ARE BORN
OF THE CREAMING METHOD

IN WHICH SUGAR AND
OR BUTTER OR SHORTENING

ARE BEATEN UNTIL THE SUGAR
PUNCHES ZILLIONS OF LITTLE HOLES

INTO THE FAT,

WHICH ARE THEN BLOWN UP
BY THE CHEMICAL LEAVENING

DURING THE BAKING PROCESS.

SUCH HIGH-FAT BATTERS
ARE TASTY TO BE SURE,

BUT I FIND THEM
TOO HEAVY FOR CUPCAKES.

THANKS TO A LOS ANGELES
INSURANCE SALESMAN,

WE HAVE AN OPTION.

LET ME TELL YOU A STORY.

ONCE UPON A TIME,
IN THE 1920s,

THERE WAS A LOS ANGELES
INSURANCE SALESMAN

NAMED HARRY BAKER.

NOW HARRY WANTED
NOTHING MORE IN LIFE

THAN TO BECOME
A FAMOUS CAKE BAKER.

AFTER YEARS OF EXPERIMENTING
WITH DIFFERENT RECIPES,

HE FINALLY CAME UP
WITH A LIGHT AND DELICATE CAKE.

IT TOOK HOLLYWOOD BY STORM.

IT WAS CALLED
THE "CHIFFON CAKE."

WHAT WAS THE SECRET?
HARRY WOULDN'T TELL.

FOR 20 YEARS HIS CAKES
WERE THE STUFF OF LEGEND

UNTIL FINALLY, IN 1947,
HE SHARED HIS SECRET

WITH THE MOST POPULAR, ALBEIT
NONEXISTENT, BAKER IN THE LAND--

BETTY CROCKER.

A YEAR LATER, BETTY SHARED IT
WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD.

THE SECRET INGREDIENT WAS...

OIL.

RATHER THAN BUTTER
OR SHORTENING,

HARRY JUST SKIPPED
THE SOLID FAT ALTOGETHER

AND WENT WITH COOKING OIL
TO CREATE A FLUFFY GOLDEN CAKE.

OF COURSE, YOU CAN'T BEAT
BUBBLES INTO LIQUID OIL.

SO HARRY DESIGNED HIS CHIFFON

TO GET IT'S LIFT,
FROM THE EGGS THEMSELVES,

BUT I'M PUTTING
THE CAKE BEFORE THE PAN.

OVEN-PROOF CUPS,
OR MUGS IN THIS CASE,

MAKE PERFECT BAKING VESSELS.

THE CUPCAKES THAT COME OUT
OF THESE WILL BE TWICE AS BIG

AS YOUR AVERAGE
PAPERBOUND CUPCAKES,

AND THAT MEANS, HA, THEY'LL
BE TWICE AS DELICIOUS.

AS IS TRUE OF MOST BATTERS,

WE WILL ASSEMBLE A DRY TEAM
AND A WET TEAM

AND THEN QUICKLY BRING
THE TWO TEAMS TOGETHER.

FOR THE DRY TEAM, WE BEGIN
WITH 5 1/4 OUNCES OF CAKE FLOUR.

BY THE WAY, PLEASE, OUR
CUPCAKES WILL NOT BE CUP CAKES.

TO THAT WE'LL ADD
A TEASPOON OF KOSHER SALT

AND 1 1/2 TEASPOONS
OF BAKING POWDER,

WHICH WILL HELP
TO INFLATE THE BUBBLES

PROVIDED BY THE EGG WHITES.

JUST GO AHEAD AND SIFT
THAT TOGETHER FOR LIGHTNESS.

NOW WE'RE GOING TO
MOVE OVER TO THE EGGS--

1 OUNCE OF REGULAR OLD SUGAR,

5/8 TEASPOON OF CREAM OF TARTAR,
AND 5 EGGS.

COME THIS WAY, PLEASE.

WHEN IT COMES
TO SEPARATING EGGS,

I USE THE QUARANTINE APPROACH,

WHICH ENSURES THAT
IF ONE OF MY EGG WHITES

BECOMES CONTAMINATED WITH ANY
FOAM-DESTROYING EGG YOLK,

THAT IT IS NOT SPREAD

TO THE REST
OF THE EGG WHITE POOL.

HERE'S HOW--

CRACK YOUR EGG,

DRAIN OUT YOUR WHITE--

I LIKE TO USE
THE SHELL-TO-SHELL METHOD,

BECAUSE THE SHELL LIKES TO HOLD
ONTO THE EGG. THERE WE GO.

THEN THE YOLK GOES HERE,

SHELL THERE,

WE INSPECT,

LOOKS GOOD,

AND GOES TO ITS
FINAL RESTING PLACE.

WE REPEAT FOR EACH
AND EVERY EGG IN THE BATCH.

NOW BRING YOUR EGG YOLKS BACK
OVER TO YOUR BATTER STATION

AND MOVE TO A LARGE MIXING BOWL

ALONG WITH 5 OUNCES OF SUGAR.

WE'RE GONNA BEAT THESE UNTIL
THEY REACH THE RIBBON STAGE.

AND I PREFER TO USE MY
HANDY-DANDY HAND MIXER.

THIS ONE CAME FROM
THE HARDWARE STORE,

WHICH IS KIND OF NICE.

¶

NOW THE MIXTURE
IS MUCH LIGHTER IN COLOR,

AND YOU CAN SEE,
THAT IS THE RIBBON STAGE.

SEE HOW IT KIND OF
FALLS ALL OVER ITSELF.

THIS IS READY FOR
THE NEXT LIQUIDUS ADDITION,

WHICH COMES IN THE FORM
OF 1/4 CUP OF WATER--

JUST ROOM TEMPERATURE IS FINE--
AND 1/4 CUP OF VEGETABLE OIL.

DON'T USE OLIVE OIL FOR THIS.
THAT WOULD TASTE FUNNY.

SPEAKING OF TASTE,
WE WILL ADD SOME FLAVOR

WITH A TEASPOON
OF VANILLA EXTRACT.

BEAT TO COMBINE.

ONCE THAT LOOKS GOOD AND SMOOTH,
YOU CAN ADD THE DRY MIXTURE,

BUT DO THIS VERY, VERY SLOWLY

OR YOU'LL TOSS IT
ALL OVER YOUR KITCHEN.

THERE, BATTER IS DONE
AND READY FOR THE EGGS.

A CHIFFON CAKE GETS ITS
LEAVENING FROM THE SAME SOURCE

AS AN ANGEL FOOD CAKE
OR A SOUFFLé--

AN EGG WHITE FOAM.

NOW EGG WHITES ARE
PRETTY MUCH BORN TO FOAM

DUE TO THEIR UNIQUE MIXTURE

OF PROTEIN AND WATER, OKAY?

ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS BUST UP
THE SURFACE TENSION A LITTLE

SO THEY CAN START
BLOWING BUBBLES.

SO WE ALREADY HAVE OUR
FIVE EGG WHITES HERE IN A BOWL.

GOING TO ADD 5/8 OF A TEASPOON

OF CREAM OF TARTAR

AND BEAT ON HIGH,
USING THE WHISK ATTACHMENT,

UNTIL IT BECOMES FOAMY.

NOW WE HAVE DEALT WITH EGG WHITE
FOAMS A FEW TIMES ON THIS SHOW,

AND I'M AFRAID THAT WE HAVE
PERPETUATED A COUPLE OF MYTHS,

SO I WANT TO SET THIS STRAIGHT.

FIRST, TEMPERATURE--
FOR YEARS I'VE BEEN SAYING

THAT YOU SHOULD SEPARATE EGGS
WHEN THEY ARE COLD

AND WHIP THEM
WHEN THEY ARE WARM.

WELL, TRUTH IS,
WITH MODERN MIXERS,

IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER, OKAY?

THEY DELIVER ENOUGH
WHAT'S CALLED "SHEER"

TO OVERCOME ANY
TEMPERATURE ISSUES.

NOW THE OTHER THING HAS TO DO
WITH CREAM OF TARTAR, OKAY?

TRUTH IS, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO ADD IT

AFTER THE WHITES BECOME FOAMY.

IN FACT, ADDING IT
RIGHT UP FRONT IS BETTER.

ALSO, MOST RECIPES,
INCLUDING SOME OF MINE,

DON'T TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE
OF TARTARIC ACID'S POWER.

FOR TOP VOLUME
AND THE BEST TEXTURE,

YOU OUGHT TO SHOOT FOR
ABOUT 1/8 OF A TEASPOON

PER EGG WHITE, OKAY?

THAT'S WHY THE FUNKY AMOUNT--
THE 5/8 OF A TEASPOON.

WHY? COME HERE.

LET'S SAY FOR A MOMENT THAT
THIS TWISTED PIECE OF DUCTWORK

IS ACTUALLY AN
EGG WHITE PROTEIN.

NOW IN ITS NATURAL STATE
IT'S ALL BALLED UP ON ITSELF.

TO MAKE IT CULINARILY USEFUL,
WE NEED IT TO DENATURE,

STRETCH OUT, RELAX AND TANGLE UP
WITH OTHER PROTEINS.

NOW WE CAN DO THIS JUST BY
THRASHING THE TAR OUT OF IT,

BUT IT'LL TAKE A LONG TIME,

AND THE RESULTING FOAM
WON'T BE VERY STABLE.

IT IS A FAR, FAR BETTER THING
TO MIX, UH, SAID THRASHING

WITH A BIT
OF CHEMICAL COAXING, OKAY?

AND THAT'S WHERE
THE CREAM OF TARTAR COMES IN.

SEE, CREAM OF TARTAR IS AN ACID,

AND ACIDS LOWER THE pH

BY BRINGING EXTRA
HYDROGEN IONS TO THE PARTY.

ADD ENOUGH OF THESE
TO THE PROTEIN

AND THEY'LL REACH WHAT'S
CALLED THE ISOELECTRIC POINT,

AND THEY WILL...

(whistling sound)

RELAX.

BY ADDING MORE
CREAM OF TARTAR AT THE GET-GO,

YOU START THE PROTEIN PARTY
EARLIER IN THE PROCESS.

AND THAT MEANS SMALLER BUBBLES,
ERGO A FINER TEXTURE,

AND THAT TRANSLATES TO A LIGHTER
AND MORE TENDER CUPCAKE FOR YOU.

¶

THE SUGAR IS GOING TO DISSOLVE

INTO THE WATER PHASE
OF THE WHITES,

CREATING A SYRUP THAT WILL
PROVIDE ADDITIONAL STRUCTURE,

BUT IF WE ADD THIS ALL AT ONCE,

THE PROTEINS WON'T HAVE ROOM
TO DO WHAT THEY NEED TO DO,

SO GO SLOWLY.

AHH--

THERE WE HAVE IT.

LIKE WEEBLES,
STIFF PEAKS WOBBLE,

BUT THEY DON'T FALL DOWN.

NOW I LIKE TO WORK
THE EGG WHITES

INTO THE BATTER IN THIRDS,

AND WE'VE ACTUALLY PUT IT
INTO THREE DIFFERENT BOWLS

TO KIND OF PROVE THE POINT.

THE FIRST ADDITION,
I DON'T ACTUALLY FOLD.

I JUST BEAT IT IN AS QUICKLY AS
POSSIBLE TO LIGHTEN THE BATTER.

THE SECOND THIRD
OF THE EGG WHITES,

WE WILL FOLD IN GENTLY
USING A RUBBER SPATULA.

AND THE TECHNIQUE, AS ALWAYS,

IS SIMPLY TO KIND OF PUSH
THE SPATULA DOWN AND FOLD OVER,

ROTATING THE BOWL, DOING THIS
AS FEW TIMES AS POSSIBLE.

THIRD BATCH, THE SAME THING,

ONLY THIS ONE WE'D LIKE
TO GET IN EVEN QUICKER.

IF YOU STILL SEE
A LITTLE JUST KIND OF

PLAIN EGG WHITE IN THE MIXTURE
AT THE END, THAT'S OKAY,

BETTER THAT THAN OVERBEATING.

NOW THIS BATTER IS DELICATE
AND OOEY AND GOOEY--

ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO POUR.

SO I LIKE TO DOSE IT OUT
WITH A DISHER.

SOME PEOPLE CALL IT
AN ICE CREAM SCOOP.

I CALL IT A DISHER.

NOW WE'RE LOOKING FOR JUST
3/4 FULL ON THE MUGS.

WE NEED ROOM FOR EXPANSION HERE.

NOW WHATEVER YOU DO,
DO NOT GREASE THESE MUGS

OR LUBE THEM IN ANY WAY.

THIS KIND OF EGG FOAM NEEDS
SOMETHING TO CLIMB.

IT HAS TO BE ABLE
TO GET HOLD OF THE CUPS.

IF WE DID THIS IN
JUST AN ORDINARY CAKE PAN,

IT WOULD FALL AS SOON AS IT
COMES OUT OF THE OVEN.

BECAUSE WE'RE USING A RELATIVELY
SMALL AMOUNT OF BATTER

IN AN NICE CONFINED SPACE,

IT SHOULD BE ABLE
TO HOLD ON PRETTY NICELY.

AHH, STASH YOUR MUGS

IN THE LOWER THIRD
OF A 325-DEGREE OVEN

AND BAKE FOR 30 MINUTES OR UNTIL
A TOOTHPICK COMES OUT CLEAN

OR THE CUPCAKE REACHES
AN INTERNAL TEMPERATURE

OF 205 TO 210 DEGREES.

¶

 ¶

IN MANY 18th-CENTURY KITCHENS,
THE USE OF CUPS FOR BAKING

GAVE WAY TO THE IRON GEM PAN,

WHICH OF COURSE,
WAS THE PRECURSOR

OF THE NONSTICK MUFFIN TIN,
WHICH WE WILL EMPLOY.

OF COURSE, WE COULD
LINE THIS WITH...

PAPER CUPS.

A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T
THINK IT'S A CUPCAKE

UNLESS THEY GET THE
CHRISTMASTIME EFFECT

OF UNWRAPPING THE CUPCAKE.

YOU CAN USE
EITHER PAPER OR FOIL,

BUT I WILL SAY THIS,

THE ONES THAT COME IN THE LITTLE
TUBES SEEM TO FIT BETTER

THAN THE ONES THAT COME IN
THE BAGS. DON'T KNOW WHY.

HEY, LET'S MAKE THIS
NEXT BATCH CHOCOLATE.

COMBINE 1 TEASPOON
OF KOSHER SALT

AND 1 1/2 TEASPOONS
OF BAKING POWDER

WITH 4 OUNCES
OF CAKE FLOUR AND SIFT.

YOU NOTICE THAT THIS IS
AN OUNCE AND 1/4 LESS

THAN IN THE FIRST RECIPE.

YOU'LL SEE WHY IN A MINUTE.

NOW WITH THE SIFTING DONE,
TURN TO THE CHOCOLATE PART.

ADD 1/4 CUP OF HOT WATER
TO 1 1/4 OUNCES BY WEIGHT

OF COCOA POWDER.

KEEP MIXING AND MASHING

UNTIL IT REACHES
THE CONSISTENCY OF A SPACKLE.

NOW SINCE IT ACTS A LOT LIKE
FLOUR IN THE FINAL BATTER,

THIS OUNCE AND 1/4
OF COCOA POWDER

REPLACES THE OUNCE AND 1/4
OF FLOUR THAT WE TOOK OUT.

NOW THAT WE HAVE
OUR CHOCOLATE SPACKLE MADE,

WE WILL MOVE TO THE EGG YOLKS--
FIVE, JUST AS BEFORE,

GO INTO THE MIXING BOWL WITH 5
OUNCES OF SUGAR, JUST AS BEFORE.

GUESS WHAT?

WE'RE GONNA BEAT IT TO THE
RIBBON STAGE, JUST LIKE BEFORE.

ONCE THE RIBBON STAGE
IS ACHIEVED,

WE WILL ADD THE CHOCOLATE MASH,
THE OIL AND THE VANILLA.

NO USE FOR WATER THIS TIME,

'CAUSE WE ALREADY STIRRED IT
INTO THE COCOA.

AND THE DRY PHASE--

REMEMBER, SPEED KILLS.

THERE. NOW ALL WE NEED

IS THE EGG WHITE FOAM.

4 EGG WHITES
THIS TIME PLUS,

THAT'S RIGHT--

1/8 OF A TEASPOON PER EGG WHITE

GIVES US 1/2 TEASPOON
OF CREAM OF TARTAR.

WE'RE GONNA BEAT THIS
ON HIGH UNTIL IT'S FOAMY,

THEN CUT THE SPEED,

GRADUALLY ADD 1 OUNCE OF SUGAR.

ONCE IT'S INCORPORATED,
THE SPEED WILL GO BACK TO HIGH,

AND WE'LL CONTINUE TO
BEAT UNTIL STIFF PEAKS FORM--

PROBABLY ABOUT TWO MINUTES.

WHEN THE FOAM IS FINISHED,

WE WILL DEPOSIT
IN THREE EASY INSTALLMENTS.

THE FIRST STIR-IN WILL
BE A LITTLE TOUGHER,

BECAUSE THIS BATTER IS
DEFINITELY STIFFER,

SO IT'S GONNA TAKE JUST A FEW
MORE SECONDS TO MAKE SMOOTH.

¶

AND JUST AS BEFORE,
WE WILL EMPLOY OUR DISHER.

ONLY THIS TIME, OF COURSE,
WE'RE FILLING PAPER CUPS,

WHICH ARE A LITTLE TRICKIER,

BECAUSE THEY TEND
TO STICK TO THE DISHER.

¶

OKAY, THESE GO IN--SAME TIME,
SAME TEMPERATURE.

OH, FORGOT ABOUT THOSE.

AHH, THESE ARE OBVIOUSLY, YEAH,
READY TO COME OUT.

ALL RIGHT, I'VE ALREADY
GOT A RACK STANDING BY

FOR THEM TO COOL THOROUGHLY ON.

NOW THE CHOCOLATE MUFFINS

NEED TO BE RIGHT
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OVEN,

SO I'M GONNA ADD A RACK HERE.

THERE WE GO.

30 MINUTES AND DO NOT
ROTATE THEM,

AND DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR,
OR THE CHIFFON MAY FALL.

¶

ALTHOUGH I DO NOT AGREE
WITH THOSE WHO INSIST

THAT A CUPCAKE IS SIMPLY
A DELIVERY DEVICE FOR FROSTING,

I WILL AGREE THAT
WITHOUT A GOOD FROSTING,

A CUPCAKE IS, WELL, A LITTLE
TOO MUCH LIKE A MUFFIN.

NOW I THINK THAT GIVEN THE
TEXTURE AND FLAVOR OF THESE,

THAT A NICE BUTTERCREAM
WOULD BE AN ORDER.

BUT WE HAVE ONE BIG
FAT QUESTION TO ANSWER.

WHO WANTS VANILLA?

(all) I DO!

OVER HERE,
WHO WANTS VANILLA?

(cheers)

DOESN'T ANYBODY
WANT CHOCOLATE?

(boy) I DO.
I WANT CHOCOLATE.

OH, SORRY, KID,
WE'RE OUTNUMBERED.

VANILLA WINS.

(cheers)

¶

6 OUNCES OF ROOM-TEMPERATURE
UNSALTED BUTTER

PLUS 2 OUNCES OF SHORTENING

GO INTO OUR WORK BOWL.

NOW USING THE PADDLE ATTACHMENT,

WE'RE GONNA CREAM ON HIGH

UNTIL THIS IS LIGHT AND FLUFFY--

PROBABLY TAKE
THREE TO FOUR MINUTES

DEPENDING ON
THE TEMPERATURE OF THE ROOM

YOUR BUTTER CAME
TO ROOM TEMPERATURE IN.

OKAY, NEXT, WE ADD
ONE ROOM-TEMPERATURE EGG

AND BEAT TILL WELL COMBINED.

IT'LL TAKE A COUPLE
OF MINUTES AT MOST--
(alarm sounds)

DAN, CAN YOU KILL THE ALARM?

YES, IT IS A RAW EGG,

AND YES, IT IS POTENTIALLY
DANGEROUS.

I GET MY EGGS FROM SOMEONE
WHO GROWS CHICKENS,

SO I'M NOT SO WORRIED.

BUT IF YOU ARE WORRIED,
I STRONGLY ADVISE YOU

SEEK OUT PASTEURIZED
SHELL EGGS AT THE MEGA-MART.

WELL, YEAH, YOU COULD
TECHNICALLY LEAVE THE EGG OUT,

BUT THEN YOU'D HAVE
TO REMOVE THE SHORTENING,

UP THE BUTTER TO 8 OUNCES
AND THEN REPLACE THE EGG WITH,

UH, AN OUNCE, A TABLESPOON,
AT LEAST, OF WHOLE MILK.

IT WOULD BE OKAY, BUT BELIEVE
ME, IT WOULD BE KIND OF GRAINY.

IT WOULDN'T BE VERY
UNCTUOUS AND DELICIOUS,

SO JUST MAKE--
MAKE PEACE WITH THE EGG.

ANYWAY, RETURN THIS
TO HIGH SPEED.

ALL RIGHT, WE ARE GETTING
CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE END.

BUT NOW WE'VE GOT TO WORK IN

AN ENTIRE POUND OF
CONFECTIONERS' SUGAR.

AND OBVIOUSLY, WE CAN'T JUST
DUMP THAT IN ALL AT ONCE

OR IT WILL BLOW UP
ALL OVER THE PLACE.

SO WE'RE JUST GONNA GO
ABOUT 1/2 CUP AT A TIME.

TURN OFF THE MACHINE,
ADD THE SUGAR,

AND THEN SLOWLY
RESTART THE MACHINE.

LET IT WORK UNTIL
THAT BATCH IS IN,

AND THEN KEEP REPEATING
UNTIL THE POUND IS GONE.

FINALLY--

1 TEASPOON OF VANILLA EXTRACT.

BEAT UNTIL THE FROSTING
IS SMOOTH AND LIGHT,

ABOUT THREE MINUTES.

YOU CAN USE YOUR
FROSTING RIGHT AWAY,

OR YOU CAN REFRIGERATE
FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.

BUT WHATEVER YOU DO,

MAKE SURE THAT YOU LET IT
COME TO ROOM TEMPERATURE

BEFORE YOU ATTEMPT TO APPLY IT.

OTHERWISE IT'LL BE SO HARD,

YOU'LL BASICALLY RIP
THE TOP OF YOUR CUPCAKE OFF.

NOW SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO APPLY
THIS WITH A LITTLE PIPING BAG,

AND THAT'S FINE,

BUT I PREFER THIS LITTLE
MINIATURE OFFSET SPATULA.

I THINK THAT'S A NICE JOB--
NOT TOO FUSSY.

NOW AS FAR AS OTHER TOPPINGS,

THE ONLY THING THAT I CAN
THINK OF THAT'S APPROPRIATE

IS PROBABLY SOME FORM OF--

AHEM.
MAY I HELP YOU, SIR?

NOT AT ALL.
IT IS I WHO WILL HELP YOU.

EAT THIS.
OH, I THINK NOT.

HO HO HO HO HO,
I THINK SO.

YOW, THAT WAS SO AWESOME!

HEY, HEY, HEY, MISTER,
CAN I HAVE ANOTHER CUPCAKE?

SURE YOU CAN, KID.
THANKS.

THERE YOU GO. HA HA HA!
LISTEN,

I WANT YOU TO RUN ON HOME
AND TELL YOUR MOM

YOU DON'T WANT
TO BE A MAîTRE D'...
MNH-MNH.

YOU WANT TO GROW UP
TO BE A BAKER.

OKAY. HEY,
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
BYE. SEE YA.

BE CAREFUL
ON THE STREET.
OKAY.

WHO KNEW THAT
ONE PUNY LITTLE PASTRY

COULD HAVE SO
MUCH POSITIVE POWER?

YOU KNOW, I GOT HALF A MIND

TO BAKE UP A COUPLE
HUNDRED MORE OF THESE

AND TAKE A DRIVE
OVER TO WASHINGTON, D.C., YEAH.

SEE YA NEXT TIME
ON "GOOD EATS."