Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 10, Episode 4 - Cubing a Round - full transcript



(Alton Brown)
GOOD EVENING, AND WELCOME
ONCE AGAIN TO THE FOOD GALLERY.

TONIGHT, LET US STROLL

THROUGH THE HALL OF
HOME-COOKED HORRORS.

LIVER AND ONIONS ARE
ON PERMANENT DISPLAY HERE,

ALONG WITH OTHER
SUPPERTIME NIGHTMARES
OF OUR YOUTH, LIKE BEETS.

AND OF COURSE,
WHO COULD FORGET MOM'S

"DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL"
CASSEROLE?

THESE, OF COURSE,
PALE IN COMPARISON

TO THE HORRORS
OF CUBE STEAK.

IN ANY SANE UNIVERSE,



THIS PRODIGIOUSLY PERFORATED
MONTAGE OF MISMATCHED MEATS

WOULD BE USED TO PATCH TIRES
RATHER THAN FILL STOMACHS.

MOST MOMS MAKE MATTERS WORSE

BY ENCASING EACH SLAB
IN A THICK MORASS

OF FLAVORLESS, FRIED FLOUR,

WHICH THEY THEN
TOP WITH "GRAVY."

BUT LIKE MANY A MONSTER
FROM CHILDHOOD MYTHOLOGY,

THE ONLY THING
CUBE STEAK NEEDS

IS A LITTLE LOVE,
A LITTLE CONSIDERATION,

A LITTLE HOMESPUN KNOW-HOW.

BECAUSE WHEN IT'S TREATED RIGHT,
EVEN THE CHEAPEST CUTLET IN TOWN

CAN CAST A TALL
CULINARY SHADOW.

WHETHER IT'S SLOW-COOKED,
OR CHICKEN-FRIED,

CUBE STEAK CAN
AND WILL BE...



¶

¶ GOOD EATS ¶

(Alton)
CUBE STEAK.

IT'S A BIT OF A MISNOMER
IF YOU ASK ME.

I DON'T THINK THERE'S
ANYTHING CUBIST ABOUT IT.

BUT HEY, I GUESS THAT
SOUNDS A LOT BETTER

THAN PERFORATED MEAT, WHICH IS
WHAT CUBE STEAK REALLY IS.

NOW WHY WOULD YOU PERFORATE
A PERFECTLY GOOD PIECE OF MEAT?

WELL, TO CONVERT A FLAVORFUL
BUT TOUGH HUNK OF MEAT

INTO SOMETHING THAT IS
FLAVORFUL AND TENDER.

NOW, WHERE MIGHT YOU FIND
SUCH A BIT OF GOODNESS?

WELL, OF ALL
THE PRIMAL CUTS,

I WOULD SAY THAT THE ROUND
IS THE BEST CANDIDATE.

OF COURSE, IT'S DIVIDED
INTO THE TOP ROUND,
THE BOTTOM ROUND,

AND THE KNUCKLE,
AND OF ALL OF THESE,

THE BOTTOM ROUND
IS IDEAL FOR CUBE STEAK.

IT'S LEAN, FAIRLY TOUGH,
BECAUSE IT DOES
A LOT OF EXERCISING,

BUT IT'S ALSO GOT
A GREAT DEAL OF FLAVOR IN IT,

AND IT CAN BE HAD FOR
A VERY, VERY REASONABLE PRICE.

NOW WHEN SHOPPING
FOR A CUBE STEAK,

YOU'RE PROBABLY GONNA RUN
ACROSS TWO DIFFERENT TYPES--

CUBE STEAK
AND SPECIAL CUBE STEAK.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

ACCORDING TO
THE NORTH AMERICAN MEAT
PROCESSORS ASSOCIATION,

ITEM NUMBER 1-1-0-0,
A.K.A. CUBE STEAK,

CAN BE PREPARED FROM
ANY POTION OF THE CARCASS,

EXCLUDING THE SHANK
AND HEEL MEAT.

HOWEVER,
ITEM NUMBER 1-1-0-1,

A.K.A. BEEF CUBE STEAK
SPECIAL,

IS TO BE PREPARED
EXCLUSIVELY

FROM THE ROUND, LOIN, RIB
OR CHUCK SECTIONS.

ADDITIONALLY, THE KNITTING
TOGETHER OF TWO OR MORE
PIECES OF MEAT,

OR THE FOLDING OF THE MEAT
DURING THE CUBING PROCESS

IS PERMISSIBLE ONLY IN
THE CUT SOLD AS CUBE STEAK,

NOT AS CUBE STEAK SPECIAL.

THAT'S RIGHT,
HE SAID "KNITTING."

BUT IN THIS CASE,
HE'S NOT TALKING
ABOUT MAKING A SWEATER.

HE'S TALKING ABOUT
THE PROCESS OF MELDING

MULTIPLE PIECES OF MEAT
INTO ONE SINGLE FRANKEN-STEAK.

NOW THESE LOOK PRETTY GOOD,
BUT IN SOME CASES,

YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO TELL
WHICH BODY PARTS

WENT INTO YOUR CUBE STEAK,
AND FOR ME,

THAT'S REASON ENOUGH JUST
TO AVOID THEM ALTOGETHER.

BESIDES, A TWO-POUND BOTTOM
ROAST--BOTTOM ROUND ROAST--

WHEN PERFORATED PERSONALLY
IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR KITCHEN

WILL TASTE BETTER,
AND IT WILL PROBABLY
BE A GOOD BIT CHEAPER.

NOW YOU CAN
CUT THIS YOURSELF,

BUT IF YOUR BUTCHER
IS READY AND WILLING,

AND MOST ARE, JUST ASK THEM

TO SLICE IT DOWN
INTO 1/2-INCH PIECES.

IT'LL BE PERFECT.

NOW IF WE ARE GOING
TO CUBE OUR MEAT OURSELVES,

WE WILL NEED A DEVICE--
A DEVICE OF LETHAL CUNNING,

CAPABLE OF GOING MEDIEVAL
ON A PIECE OF MEAT.

TO THAT END,
I PUT A CALL IN THIS MORNING

TO MY DUNGEON KEEPER.
HELLO, ANYBODY HOME?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
BUILDING STUFF!

OH, MASTER, DON'T
BE JEALOUS

THAT I'VE BEEN
CHATTING ON-LINE

WITH BABES ALL DAY.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S FINE.
I'LL GET WHAT I NEED
FROM "W."

(imitating Gollum)
OH, NO! MASTER MUSTN'T!

MEAN AND CRUEL SHE IS.

SHE HATESES US!

LOOK! LOOK WHAT I'VE
MADE FOR YOU, MASTER,

WITH MY OWN
LOVING HANDSES.

EW.

LOOK, MASTER, LOOK!

(laughing evilly)

86 TENDERIZING BLADES...

ELEVENTY-HUNDRED
AND EIGHTEEN
CUTTING EDGES...

SLICES AND KNITS MEATS
SIMULTANEOUSLY

FROM BOTH EDGES!
WOW.

AND IF YOU HAPPEN
TO HAVE ANY
BAD BUNNIES AROUND...

HEY, HEY, HEY!
THAT'S FINE,
I GET THE POINT.

NOT IF YOU USE
THE HAND GUARD.

SAFETY FIRST,
MASTER.

THIS IS VERY SNAZZY.
MADE IT YOURSELF,
DID YOU?

OH, YES, I HAD
A LOT MORE TIME
ON MY HANDS

SINCE YOU MADE ME
CUT BACK ON THE
TORTURING AND ALL.

YEAH, I CAN'T HELP
BUT NOTICE--
IT SAYS HERE,

"MADE IN
SWITZERLAND."
WHY DO YOU
HATE ME SO, MASTER?

YOU BOUGHT THIS
ON THE INTERNET,
DIDN'T YOU?

OH, A COUPLE
OF PARTS, PERHAPS.

HOW'D YOU PAY
FOR IT?

THIS LITTLE
PLASTIC THING WITH
THE NUMBERS ON IT.

IT'S MY CREDIT CARD!
I--HOW MUCH?

OH, NOT MUCH.
15...
DOLLARS?

HUNDRED.
(yelling)

OH, PLEASE
HAVE MERCY ON US!

WE ONLY WISHES
TO PLEASE.

AND MAYBE CUBE
A GUPPY OR TWO?

NO, NO, NO!
IT GOES BACK NOW!

I'LL FIND ANOTHER
WAY OF DOING THIS.

AND YOU, SIR--
YOU'VE BEEN A VERY
BAD DUNGEON MASTER!

AND AS PUNISHMENT,
I WANT YOU TO...

GO...SKIM THE MOTE!
(laughing)

LUCKY STRAW!

IF, LIKE ME, YOU ARE NOT
WILLING TO PART COMPANY

WITH $1,500 JUST
TO CUBE SOME STEAKS,

THERE ARE SOME ALTERNATIVES.

FOR INSTANCE,
HUNTERS REALLY LIKE

THIS LITTLE HAND-CRANK MODEL

THAT SUPPOSEDLY CUBES MEAT,

BUT I THINK IT REALLY JUST
KIND OF CUTS IT INTO PIECES.

NO, NO GOOD.

OH, YOU CAN GO WITH
A MORE CLASSIC TOOL.

FOR INSTANCE, EVERY
AMERICAN HOME

HAS ONE OF THESE--
IT'S CALLED A MEAT TENDERIZER.

IT ISN'T--IT SHOULD BE
CALLED A "MUSHER,"

BECAUSE THAT'S ALL IT DOES
IS MUSH THINGS INTO...

YOU KNOW, BLECH.

THERE IS ANOTHER LITTLE
DEVICE, THOUGH, THAT NOT TOO
MANY PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT--

I LIKE TO THINK OF IT AS
MY OWN LITTLE, PERSONAL SECRET.

CHECK THIS OUT--

WHOOSH, WHOOSH!

IT'S CALLED A NEEDLER.
CHECK THIS OUT!

FOR THE SAKE OF ILLUSTRATION,
LET US PRETEND

THAT THIS SLAB OF GELATIN
IS A STEAK TO BE CUBED.

OBSERVE--NOW REMEMBER,
THE GOAL IS TO BREAK DOWN

AS MANY FIBERS OF CONNECTIVE
TISSUE AS POSSIBLE.

SO I LIKE TO MAKE FOUR
OR FIVE PASSES

ACROSS THE MEAT
IN ONE DIRECTION,

AND THEN TURN THE DEVICE
90 DEGREES

AND MAKE 4 MORE PASSES.

FLIP AND REPEAT
ON THE OTHER SIDE.

CHECK IT OUT. SEE ALL THOSE
LITTLE PERFORATIONS?

OH, LET ME HELP.
THERE, NOW YOU SEE 'EM?

IMAGINE IF EACH ONE OF THOSE

WAS CUTTING A PIECE
OF CONNECTIVE TISSUE.

IMAGINE THE TENDERIZING
POWER THAT WOULD HAVE.

'COURSE, BEFORE WE ACTUALLY
PUNCTURE A PERFECTLY
GOOD PIECE OF MEAT,

WE SHOULD CONSIDER
SOME COOKING OPTIONS.

¶

IF YOU WANT TO RESEARCH
CUBE STEAK,

THEN YOU REALLY OUGHT
TO GET YOURSELF DOWN

TO YOUR LOCAL ROADSIDE
DINER--THANK YOU.

BECAUSE THERE'S
NO BETTER PLACE.

OF COURSE, IF YOU COULD
PICK THE DINER UP

AND MOVE IT AROUND THE COUNTRY,
YOU WOULD PROBABLY FIND

THAT CUBE STEAK-RELATED
TERMS AND DEFINITIONS

CHANGE WITH THE TOPOGRAPHY.
FOR INSTANCE--

IN NORTH CAROLINA,
I KNOW FOR A FACT

THAT ORDERING COUNTRY-FRIED
STEAK GETS YOU A CUBE STEAK,

WHICH HAS BEEN DREDGED
IN FLOUR, BROWNED,

AND THEN BRAISED
IN A BROWN SAUCE.

NOW UP IN MARYLAND,
THIS MIGHT BE SERVED TO YOU
AS A SALISBURY STEAK,

WHICH IS ODD,
BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE

THAT DR. SALISBURY HIMSELF--
HI!

DESIGNED HIS DISH
AROUND GROUND MEAT.

STRANGER STILL,
IN PARTS OF MINNESOTA,

THIS DISH MIGHT BE SERVED
TO YOU AS SWISS STEAK,

EVEN THOUGH IT DOESN'T HAVE
ANY ONIONS OR TOMATOES ON IT.

IN THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS,
ORDER A COUNTRY-FRIED STEAK,

AND YOU'LL PROBABLY GET
A BATTERED CUBE STEAK

PAN-FRIED AND SERVED
WITH A PEPPER-CREAM GRAVY.

IN OTHER WORDS--
NO MATTER WHERE YOU ROAM,

CUBE STEAK CONFUSION
IS SURE TO FOLLOW.

WELL, IN THE NAME
OF CULINARY CLARITY,

I'M GONNA STICK OUT MY NECK
AND DECLARE

THAT A CUBE STEAK
LIGHTLY DREDGED IN FLOUR,

LIGHTLY PAN-FRIED

AND THEN BRAISED
IN A BROWN SAUCE

IS INDEED
COUNTRY-STYLE STEAK.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL TUNE,
AND HERE'S HOW IT GOES.

HERE WE HAVE OUR TWO POUNDS
OF BEEF BOTTOM ROUND

TRIMMED OF EXCESS FAT.

WE WILL LIBERALLY SEASON
ON BOTH SIDES--SALT AND PEPPER.

AND THEN BEFORE
WE PERFORATE,

WE WILL DREDGE LIGHTLY
IN ALL-PURPOSE FLOUR.

WHY? BECAUSE THE FLOUR
WILL HELP THE MEAT

HOLD ONTO MOISTURE
AS WE POKE HOLES IN IT.

PLUS, IT'LL HAVE
THE FLOUR TO STICK

AND THAT WILL MAKE
A BETTER OUTER COATING.

SO PUNCH IN BOTH DIRECTIONS

BOTH SIDES OF THE MEAT.

IT'LL TAKE A FEW MINUTES,
BUT IT'S FUN.

AND THEN WE RETURN
TO THE DREDGING PAN

FOR ANOTHER COATING
OF FLOUR.

MAKE SURE YOU DUST OFF
ALL OF THE EXTRA

AND THEN LAY THAT OUT
ON A WIRE RACK

OVER A SHEET PAN.

BEGIN BY PLACING
A 4- TO 5-QUAROVTCH DUEN

OVER MEDIUM-HIGH HEAT--
CAST IRON IS ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA.

THEN ADD JUST ENOUGH
VEGETABLE OIL,

CANOLA OIL,
OR WHAT HAVE YOU,

TO--OH, WHAT THE HECK--
COVER JUST THE BOTTOM
OF THE POT.

THEN WATCH IT CLOSELY,
BECAUSE AS SOON AS

IT STARTS TO SHIMMER
LIKE THAT

IT'S TIME TO ADD THE MEAT.

AND THE GOAL HERE IS
TO GET THIS DONE

WITHOUT OVERCROWDING IT.

SO KINDA BE CAREFUL
HOW YOU ARRANGE IT.

THERE. AS LONG AS
THERE'S SOME SPACE

BETWEEN THE MEAT
AND THE EDGE OF THE PAN,
AND EACH PIECE OF MEAT,

YOU WILL HAVE THOROUGH BROWNING
INSTEAD OF STEWING.

IT'S GONNA TAKE
ABOUT TWO MINUTES PER SIDE.

WHEN THEY ARE NICELY BROWNED
ON BOTH SIDES,

MOVE THEM TO A PLATE,
OR IN THIS CASE, THE POT LID,

AND COVER WITH A NICE, BIG
PIECE OF FOIL

UNTIL YOU ARE DONE WITH
THE REST OF THE MEAT.

WHEN THOSE LAST PIECES
ARE READY TO EXIT THE PAN,

YOU WANT TO GET THEM OUT
PRETTY QUICKLY,
'CAUSE YOU DON'T WANT

THE LITTLE BROWN BITS ON
THE BOTTOM OF THE PAN TO BURN.

YEAH, I KNOW YOU CAN'T SEE THEM,
BUT THEY'RE THERE.

SO GET TWO CUPS
OF CHICKEN BROTH,

CANNED OR HOMEMADE,
INTO THE PAN TO DEGLAZE.

AND FLAVOR THAT UP

WITH ONE TEASPOON
OF DRIED THYME.

WHISK NOT ONLY TO COMBINE,
BUT ALSO TO HELP GET THOSE BITS

OFF OF THE BOTTOM.

AS SOON AS THE LIQUID
COMES TO A BOIL,

IT'S TIME FOR EVERYBODY
TO GET BACK IN THE POOL.

NOW I KNOW THIS LIQUID
ISN'T MUCH OF A SAUCE NOW,

(evil voice)
BUT IT WILL BE...
IT WILL BE.

(normal voice)
AND REMEMBER,
WHEN POSITIONING THE MEAT,

EVEN DISTRIBUTION
MEANS EVEN COOKING.

THERE WE GO.
NOW LID ON.

THIS NOW GOES INTO
THE MIDDLE

OF A 300 DEGREE OVEN

FOR ONE AND A HALF
TO TWO HOURS,

OR UNTIL THE MEAT IS
THE CONSISTENCY OF BUTTER.

AH, THIS IS WHAT
WE CALL "D.M.T."--

DEEP, MAHOGANY, AND TENDER--

SO TENDER YOU DON'T EVEN
NEED A KNIFE TO CUT IT.

YOU KNOW, THE LONG, SLOW,
COVERED MOIST COOKING METHOD,

OR BRAISING THAT WE USED,

NOT ONLY CONVERTED THE HUMBLE
LIQUIDS THAT WE ADDED

INTO A DELICIOUS SAUCE,

IT FINISHED WHAT
THE NEEDLES BEGAN--

THAT IS, THE COMPLETE DECIMATION
OF CONNECTIVE TISSUE.

NOW THIS IS A COOKING METHOD
THAT LENDS ITSELF WELL

TO A WIDE VARIETY OF DISHES,

ALL BASED ON
THIS SAME CHEAP CUT OF MEAT.

OH, ONE THAT COMES TO MIND
RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD

IS SWISS STEAK, WHICH, UH...

IS NOT REALLY WHAT IT SEEMS.

LIKE... NEVERMIND.

OH, CONVENTIONS
OF CULINARY NOMENCLATURE

WOULD SUGGEST
THAT SWISS STEAK

WOULD ORIGINATE IN
A PLACE CALLED SWITZERLAND.

THE TERM ACTUALLY COMES
FROM AN OLD BRITISH WORD,

SWISSING, WHICH IS A PROCESS

OF RUNNING A PIECE OF FABRIC

THROUGH A SET OF ROLLERS
IN ORDER TO SOFTEN IT.

NOW THE BEGINNING
OF THE PROCEDURE
IS EXACTLY PRECISELY

LIKE THE BROWNING PHASE
OF OUR COUNTRY-STYLE STEAK,

WHICH IS WHERE WE WILL
PICK UP THE ACTION.

REMOVED THE MEAT
AND TUCK IT UNDER OUR TENT

JUST AS BEFORE.

THEN WE'LL INTRODUCE
SOME AROMATICS TO THE PARTY--

ONE LARGE ONION
SLICED THIN,

TWO STALKS OF CELERY
CHOPPED FINE,

AND TWO CLOVES
OF GARLIC MINCED.

AND JUST SAUTé THAT AGAIN
OVER MEDIUM-HIGH HEAT

FOR ABOUT TWO MINUTES,
OR TILL THE ONIONS

TURN GOLDEN BROWN
AND DELICIOUS.

WE WILL REQUIRE THE SERVICES

OF ONE TABLESPOON
OF TOMATO PASTE,

ONE 14.5 OUNCE CAN
OF DICED TOMATOES,

ONE TABLESPOON OF
WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE,

ONE TEASPOON
OF DRIED OREGANO,

AND ONE TEASPOON
OF SMOKED PAPRIKA.

NOW FOR THOSE OF YOU
WHO ARE NOT FAMILIAR

WITH THIS FINE SPICE,
SMOKED PAPRIKA HAILS

FROM THE LA VERA REGION
OF SPAIN.

AT IT'S AVAILABLE IN SWEET,

BITTERSWEET,
AND IN HOT VARIETIES.

AND YOU GET THEM
FROM ON-LINE SPICE MERCHANTS

AND SOME
WELL-STOCKED MEGAMARTS.

NOW IF YOU CAN'T GET HOLD
OF THE SMOKED STUFF,

YOU CAN USE
JUST REGULAR, OLD PAPRIKA,

BUT THE FINAL DISH
WILL BE MISSING

A CERTAIN SMOKY GOODNESS.

OH, AND YOU'RE GONNA NEED
A CUP AND A HALF OF BEEF BROTH.

BRING THAT BREW
UP TO A BOIL,

AND THEN ADD THE STEAKS

BACK TO THE POT,

BEING CAREFUL TO THOROUGHLY
SUBMERGE THEM.

BE CERTAIN THAT YOU
LITERALLY WIGGLE THE STEAKS

DOWN INTO THE VEGETATION,

BECAUSE IF THEY FLOAT UP
TO THE SURFACE

DURING THEIR TIME
IN THE OVEN,

THEN THEY'LL ONLY
GET HALF THE FLAVOR
THEY SO RICHLY DESERVE.

NOW PARK THIS IN THE MIDDLE
OF YOUR OVEN,

325 DEGREES, ONE AND A HALF
TO TWO HOURS,

OR UNTIL THE MEAT IS--
THAT'S RIGHT, LIKE BUTTER.

AH, WHAT
A DELECTABLE DEVICE,

SMOTHERED IN ONIONS AND INFUSED
WITH THE SMOKY GOODNESS

THAT CAN ONLY BE CALLED
GOOD EATS.

HEY, MISTER, YOU
CAN'T BRING YOUR
OWN FOOD IN HERE,

YOU GOTTA ORDER
SOMETHING.

YOU KNOW, I USED
TO HAVE TO SAY,
NUTRITIONAL ANTHROPOLOGIST

TO SUMMON YOU UP--
NOW YOU JUST

POP IN AND OUT
WHENEVER YOU WANT!
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

WELL, I JUST HAPPEN
TO BE HERE DOING
UNDERCOVER SOCIAL RESEARCH

ON MIDDLE-AGED,
SUBURBANITE MALES

AND SOCIAL BONDING
THROUGH CAFFEINE
CONSUMPTION.

FASCINATING.
SO WHATTGO
YANNA HAVE?

WELL, I THINK I'LL
HAVE A C.F.S.--

THAT'S CHICKEN-FRIED
STEAK, THE UNOFFICIAL
STATE DISH OF TEXAS,

WHICH JUST HAPPENS
TO BE BASED ON...

WIENER SCHNITZEL!
THAT IS CORRECT.

BUT WHAT I WANT
TO KNOW IS HOW

A NICE, LITTLE
GERMAN CUTLET BECAME

THE CORNERSTONE
OF LONE STAR CUISINE?

CULTURAL ADAPTATION.
YOU SEE, DURING
THE 19th CENTURY,

THOUSANDS OF GERMANS
ACTUALLY IMMIGRATED

INTO THE HILL COUNTRY
OF CENTRAL TEXAS.

WHICH EXPLAINS WHY
I LIKE TEXAN BEER
SO MUCH, I GUESS.

WHEN THEY GOT THERE,
THEY FOUND THERE WAS
LOTS OF BEEF,

BUT NO MARKET
FOR VEAL.

THEY JUST ADAPTED THEIR
WIENER SCHNITZEL RECIPE

BY TENDERIZING
TOUGHER CUTS OF MEAT.

EVEN THAT WHITE GRAVY
THAT THEY PUT
ON CHICKEN-FRIED STEAK,

THAT HAS ROOTS
IN GERMAN CUISINE

FROM RAMAN SCHNITZEL,
WHICH IS

A FRIED CUTLET
WITH CREAM SAUCE.

BUT OVER TIME,
CHUCK WAGON COOKS

STARTED MAKING IT,
AND THAT RESULTED

IN THE MYRIAD VARIETIES
WE HAVE TODAY.

EVEN OUR GENIUS CHEF
HERE IN THE DINER

IS EXPERIMENTING
WITH USING CRéME FRAîCHE

AND CHANTERELLES.

EW... WELL, YOU KNOW,
IN THAT CASE,

DEB, MAYBE I'LL JUST
TAKE MATTERS
INTO MY OWN HANDS.

SEE YA!

(man)
YO, DEB!
OH, KEEP YOUR
PANTS ON, HAL!

(Alton)
SO, HERE WE GO AGAIN
WITH ANOTHER TWO POUNDS

OF BEEF BOTTOM ROUND
TRIMMED OF EXCESS FAT

AND CUT INTO
HALF-INCH STEAKS.

AFTER THE INITIAL SEASONING
AND DREDGING,

AND, OF COURSE, NEEDLING,
WE'LL GO BACK INTO FLOUR,

KNOCK OFF THE EXCESS,

THEN INTO THREE WHOLE EGGS,
LIGHTLY BEATEN.

BE SURE TO HANDLE
THE MEAT BY THE CORNERS

SO YOU DON'T GET
CLUB HAND.

AFTER THE EGG, WE'LL GO
WITH ANOTHER LAYER OF FLOUR.

THAT'S GONNA HELP TO CREATE
A NICE, THICK

CHICKEN-FRIED STEAK
EXTERIOR.

AFTER THE STEAKS ARE DONE,
MOVE THEM TO A WIRE RACK,

AND ALLOW THEM TO SIT
FOR AT LEAST 10 OR 15
MINUTES BEFORE COOKING.

PLACE A 10- TO 12-INCH
SLOPED-SIDED FRY PAN

OVER MEDIUM-HIGH HEAT,

AND APPLY JUST ENOUGH OIL
OR BACON DRIPPINGS

TO BARELY, BARELY COVER
THE PAN IN A THIN FILM.

NOW YOU'LL NOTICE WE
HAVE SWITCHED OVER
FROM THE DUTCH OVEN.

THAT'S BECAUSE, WELL,
ONE--WE'RE NOT MAKING
A STEW THIS TIME,

SO WE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE
A LITTLE MORE REAL ESTATE
TO WORK IN,

BUT THE MAIN REASON IS THAT WE
WILL BE BUILDING A GRAVY,

AND THIS TYPE OF PAN
IS FAR MORE WHISK-FRIENDLY.

LET'S INTRODUCE
THE MEAT TO THE HEAT.

AGAIN, WE DO NOT WANT
TO CROWD THE PAN,

BUT WE DON'T WANT TO WASTE
TIME OR ENERGY EITHER.

ALWAYS PLACE THE ROUNDED
PART OF THE MEAT

TOWARD THE ROUNDED PART
OF THE PAN.

IF I DO THIS RIGHT,
I SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET
THREE PIECES IN HERE.

I'VE GOT A SMALL ONE.
THERE WE GO.

NOW THESE ARE GONNA COOK
FOR ABOUT FOUR MINUTES PER SIDE.

IN THE MEANTIME,
YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE

THAT YOU HAVE A WAITING
PLACE FOR THESE TO SIT.

I'VE GOT A WIRE COOLING RACK
OVER A HALF SHEET PAN.

I'VE GOT A WIRE COOLING RACK
VER A HALF SHEET PAN.

AS EACH BATCH OF YOUR STEAKS
FINISH UP,

YOU WANT TO STASH THEM JUST
ON A WIRE RACK

SET ON A SHEET PAN
IN A 250 DEGREE OVEN

TO KEEP THEM NICE AND COZY.

NOW WE BUILD THE GRAVY.

FOR THAT, WE WILL REQUIRE
SOME STARCH,

AND WE JUST HAPPEN
TO HAVE SOME HERE.

ALSO NEED A WHISK,
WHICH I'VE ALSO GOT.

SO THIS PAN WILL
GO BACK OVER,

LET'S SAY,
MEDIUM HEAT.

AND WE'LL ADD A LITTLE BIT
MORE VEGETABLE OIL,

NOT ENOUGH TO COAT, JUST...

MAYBE A TABLESPOON
WILL DO.

AND I'M GOING TO ADD

THREE TABLESPOONS OF FLOUR

LEFT OVER FROM
THE DREDGING PROCESS.

JUST KINDA SPRINKLE IT
AROUND THE PAN.

ONE... TWO...

THREE... IF IT'S NOT EXACT,
THAT'S OKAY.

AND WHISK.
WHY THE WHISKING?

BECAUSE WE WANT EVERY SINGLE
LITTLE GRAIN OF FLOUR

TO BE COVERED WITH FAT SO THAT
THERE WON'T BE ANY CLUMPING

WHEN THE LIQUID
ENTERS THE PAN.

SPEAKING OF--WE HAVE
TWO CUPS OF CHICKEN BROTH.

AND JUST WHISK UNTIL

THIS COMES JUST TO A BOIL,

AND IT WILL THICKEN UP
VERY NICELY INDEED.

WHY? WELL, BECAUSE THAT'S
WHAT STARCH DOES!

WE SUSPENDED ALL THOSE LITTLE
FLOUR GRANULES IN FAT, RIGHT?

SO THEY'RE EVENLY DISTRIBUTED
NOW THROUGH THE BROTH.

AND AS THE BROTH GETS
HOTTER,

THESE LITTLE GUYS WILL
ALL OF A SUDDEN OPEN UP,

DELIVERING THEIR STARCHY PAYLOAD
ALL THROUGH THE LIQUID!

(laughing)

AND, OF COURSE,
WHAT DOES THAT DO?

WELL, ALL OF THESE
LITTLE TANGLES

FORM A MESH TO TRAP LIQUID.

THUS, WE HAVE GRAVY.
SORRY.

CHICKEN-FRIED STEAK
WON'T BE CHICKEN-FRIED STEAK

IF IT DOESN'T HAVE
A WHITE GRAVY ON IT.

WHITE GRAVY MEANS DAIRY.
THE QUESTION IS WHICH ONE?

WE HAVE SOME HEAVY CREAM
HERE--

NICE, BUT NOT FOR THIS
KIND OF GRAVY

BECAUSE IT WILL SEPARATE
AND BECOME GREASY

BEFORE IT EVEN GETS
TO THE TABLE.

HALF & HALF DOESN'T
HAVE AS MUCH FAT.

BUT IT'S STILL A LITTLE
TOO MUCH--IT'LL OVERWHELM

THE SUBTLE PEPPERY FLAVOR
THAT WE'RE GOING TO HAVE.

SKIM MILK--TO FAR
IN THE OTHER DIRECTION.

IT'S BASICALLY JUST,
YOU KNOW, WHITE WATER.

SO THE IDEAL SUGGESTION?

ONE-HALF CUP OF GOOD,
OLD-FASHIONED WHOLE MILK.

YOU JUST CAN'T BEAT IT
FOR SAWMILL GRAVY.

AH, AS SOON AS THE STOCK
BEGINS TO THICKEN UP,

THE BROTH, RATHER,
AND IT HAS--

WE'LL HAD HALF A CUP
OF THAT MILK

AND CONTINUE TO WHISK

WHILE ADDING IN
ABOUT A TEASPOON,

OR WE'LL SAY HALF
A TEASPOON, OF FRESH THYME.

AND CONTINUE
OVER MEDIUM HEAT

UNTIL THIS COATS
THE BACK OF A SPOON.

THERE. WE'LL CHECK--

AND IT COATS THE BACK
OF A SPOON VERY, VERY NICELY.

HOW'S IT TASTE?

COULD USE A LITTLE SALT
AND A WHOLE LOT MORE PEPPER.

I'M GONNA SAY A GOOD, HEAVY
PINCH OF KOSHER,

AND WE'LL SAY ABOUT
FIVE GOOD GRINDS--

AH, WHAT THE HECK, WE'LL MAKE IT
TEN GOOD GRINDS--OF PEPPER.

THAT SHOULD DO THE TRICK.

NOW THAT, MY FRIENDS,
IS CUBE STEAK

TAKEN TO ITS HIGHEST
POSSIBLE ELEVATION.

CHEWY ON THE INSIDE,
LITTLE CRUSTY ON THE OUTSIDE,

ALL SMOTHERED IN
A PEPPERY, CREAMY GRAVY.

YUP, THERE'S ONLY ONE THING
MISSING FROM THIS PICTURE.

CORRECTION--
LIFE'S COMPLETE!

WELL, IT APPEARS
THAT CUBE STEAK

DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE
IN THIS EXHIBIT AFTER AL

CUBING, LIKE ATOM SMASHING,
IS A MIGHTY FORCE.

BUT WITH A LITTLE KNOW-HOW
IN YOUR NOGGIN,

YOU, TOO, CAN USE
YOUR POWER FOR GOOD...

EATS, THAT IS.

Captioning provided
by Scripps Networks, Inc.