Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 10, Episode 5 - Water Works 1 - full transcript

THIS PROGRAM HAS LONG
MADE A MISSION

OF EXPLORING THE PLAIN,
ORDINARY INGREDIENTS

OF EVERYDAY LIFE--

DRY PASTA, STEAK, POTATOES,

SALT, BISCUITS, PEAS,

THAT SORT OF THING.

AND YET, WE'VE NEVER TAKEN
MORE THAN A SIDEWAYS GLANCE

AT THE MOST BASIC
AND UNIVERSAL INGREDIENT

OF THEM ALL,

AN INGREDIENT THAT PLAYS A ROLE
IN EVERY EDIBLE ON EARTH.

SAY HELLO TO DIHYDROGEN
MONOXIDE, H2O,



THE SIMPLE YET UNFATHOMABLY
SIGNIFICANT

LOP-SIDED ARRANGEMENT
OF ONE OXYGEN

AND TWO HYDROGENS
THAT WE CALL WATER.

LIFE CANNOT EXIST
WITHOUT IT,

AND YET IT CAN SPREAD DEATH
AND DESTRUCTION AND DISEASE

LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS.

IT COVERS A GREAT MAJORITY
OF OUR PLANET,

AND YET AS OUR POPULATION
GROWS, MANY FOLKS WORRY

WE MAY SOON RUN OUT.

IT IS AS ORDINARY
AS AN UTTERLY UNIQUE

CHEMICAL COMPOUND CAN BE.

AND ALTHOUGH EVERY COOKING
OPERATION THERE IS

DEPENDS UPON
ITS SUCCESSFUL MANAGEMENT,

COOKBOOKS RARELY DISCUSS IT.



WELL, IN THIS PROGRAM,
WE'LL DEAL

WITH WATER'S VARIOUS
JOURNEYS TO OUR HOME.

WHAT HAPPENS ONCE
IT'S HERE--

WELL, THAT'LL HAVE TO WAIT
FOR ANOTHER SHOW.

WHY? BECAUSE WATER IS
A MIGHTY DEEP SUBJECT,

NOT TO MENTION...

¶

(voices)
GOOD EATS!

IF YOU WERE AWAKE
ON MARCH 30, 1972,

AT 1:17 PM IN MRS. BAKER'S
SCIENCE CLASS,

THEN YOU PROBABLY KNOW
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW

ABOUT THE WATER CYCLE.

IF, HOWEVER, LIKE MYSELF,
YOU WERE RENDERED UNCONSCIOUS

BY THE OLD GIRL'S DRONE BOX,
THEN LISTEN UP!

IT ALL BEGINS WITH...

CAN YOU SAY THAT? GOOD.
THAT IS THE EVAPORATION

OF WATER FROM OCEANS,
LAKES, AND SEAS,

AS WELL AS...

WHICH IS FROM PLANTS AND ANIMALS
LIKE YOU AND ME--

INTO VAPOR, OKAY?

NOW, CONDENSATION IS
THE ACCUMULATION

OF SAID MOISTURE
INTO CLOUDS.

AW, THEY'RE PRETTY.

WHEN CONDITIONS ARE RIGHT,
CONDENSATION TURNS INTO...

SOME OF WHICH IS ABSORBED
INTO PLANTS VIA...

THE REST EITHER STACKS UP
AS SNOW--

SOME OF WHICH BECOMES
GLACIERS AND POLAR ICE CAPS--

OR IT BEGINS ITS LONG,
GRAVITY-FUELED JOURNEY

BACK TO THE OCEAN,
SEAS OR LAKES.

SOME OF THIS WATER
TRAVELS DEEP UNDERGROUND,

AND IT'S CALLED,
ODDLY ENOUGH...

THE REST MOVES ON THE SURFACE,
VIA STREAMS, CREEKS, AND RIVERS.

WE CALL THAT--
YEAH, YOU GOT IT...

DECADES OF BEER ADVERTISING
HAVE CONDITIONED US

TO BELIEVE THAT WHEN IT
COMES TO PURITY,

YOU JUST CAN'T BEAT A COLD,
FAST-MOVING MOUNTAIN STREAM.

BUT THE TRUTH IS,

FINDING SAFE
DRINKABLE SURFACE WATER

HAS ALWAYS BEEN
SOMETHING OF A CHORE.

WHY? WELL, BECAUSE WATER
SUPPORTS

EVERY KIND OF MICROBIAL LIFE
THERE IS--

PROTOZOA, PARASITES,
VIRUSES, BACTERIA.

HOW DO THEY GET THERE?

WELL... YOU SEE, ANIMALS
COME TO DRINK THE WATER,

AND WHEN THEY
MAKE WITHDRAWALS,

THEY SOMETIMES
MAKE DEPOSITS.

HEY! LOOK, SOMEBODY
THREW A QUARTER IN HERE.

YOU KNOW, FOLKS WILL
THROW A COIN

INTO A STREAM OR A BROOK
LIKE THIS FOR "LUCK."

BUT ANCIENT PEOPLES
HAD ANOTHER REASON.

THEY BELIEVED THAT THEY
WERE BUYING FAVORS
OR SOMETIMES PROTECTION

FROM A WIDE ARRAY OF NYMPHS,
SPRITES, AND WATER FAIRIES

WHO SUPPOSEDLY POPULATED...

'COURSE, SINCE
SURFACE WATER MOVES,

IT'S A REALLY GREAT PLACE
TO PUT THINGS

THAT YOU WANT TO GET RID OF.
FOR INSTANCE, YOU COULD...

LOOK! LOOK OVER THERE!

IT'S A RARE PAIR
OF CORPORATUS CORRUPTIS!

OH, MY GOSH!
AND WE CAUGHT THEM

IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR
ANCIENT DUMPING RITUAL!

HEY, GUYS!
HOW YOU DOING?

OH, DON'T RUN AWAY.
COME ON, I JUST WANNA--OH.

OH, WELL. YOU KNOW,
LARGE-SCALE INDUSTRIAL DUMPING

IS REALLY PRETTY MUCH
A THING OF THE PAST.

BUT SURFACE WATERS LIKE THIS
ARE STILL VULNERABLE

ESPECIALLY TO RUNOFF--
THINGS LIKE INSECTICIDES

AND FERTILIZERS
FROM LARGE-SCALE FARMING.

AND, OF COURSE, SURFACE WATERS
HAVE SEASONS TO CONTEND WITH.

HEY, I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

ALTHOUGH A GREAT MAJORITY
OF SURFACE WATER

RUNS INTO LAKES, OCEANS,
OR SIMPLY EVAPORATES,

SOME OF IT IS CHANNELED
INTO RESERVOIRS

LIKE THIS ONE IN ATLANTA.

NOW, THIS WATER LOOKS
PRETTY GOOD RIGHT NOW,

BUT HECK--ANY RESIDENTIAL
POOL OWNER WILL TELL YOU

THAT IT'S EASY
TO KEEP WATER CLEAN

WHEN TEMPERATURES ARE LOW.
THAT'S PRETTY NICE.

BUT YOU KNOW, WHEN
THE MERCURY RISES,

ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE
PARASITES AND VIRUSES,

ALGAE AND WHATNOT COME OUT
TO PLAY--AND BREED.

ADD A LITTLE BIT OF MUD
AND SOME DECOMPOSING VEGETATION,

AND YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF
A POTENTIALLY DAMAGING

GASTRONOMICAL SOUP OF DOOM,
SO TO SPEAK.

NOW, YOU MIGHT THINK
THAT THE GROUND WATER,

BEING UNDERGROUND, WOULD BE
A HECK OF A LOT SAFER,

BUT THERE BE
MONSTERS THERE, TOO.

¶

(pulley squeaking)

ANYONE WHO HAS EVER PULLED
A BUCKET OF WATER OUT OF A WELL

HAS TAPPED INTO GROUND WATER

CONTAINED IN A GEOLOGICAL
FORMATION CALLED AN AQUIFER.

NOW, THE UNITED STATES MAINLAND
SITS OVER 11 AQUIFERS,

WHICH CONTAIN A STAGGERING

1 QUINTILLION
GALLONS OF H2O.

THAT'S "1" FOLLOWED
BY 18 ZEROS.

HOW DO AQUIFERS WORK?
WELL, I'LL TELL YA.

RAINWATER AND RUNOFF
FROM MOUNTAINS

SEEP DOWN INTO
SAND AND GRAVEL

AND FINALLY POOL ON TOP
OF LESS PERMEABLE LAYERS

LIKE CLAY AND SHALE.

NOW, THE TOP OF THIS POOL
IS CALLED THE...

AND ITS LEVEL CHANGES
WITH THE WEATHER,

WHICH IS WHY WELLS
THAT TAP INTO IT

RUN THE RISK
OF RUNNING DRY.

SINCE POLLUTION
LIKE FERTILIZERS
ALSO SEEP INTO THE GROUND,

THESE TYPES OF WELLS--WELL,
THEY CAN BE LESS THAN PURE.

HOWEVER, DEEP GROUND WATER
CAN FLOW

BETWEEN THE IMPERMEABLE LAYERS

AND THE EVEN DEEPER BEDROCK.

THESE CONFINED AQUIFERS
MOVE VERY, VERY SLOWLY,

AND WATER DRAWN FROM THEM
HAS OFTEN BEEN UNDERGROUND

FOR CENTURIES
OR EVEN MILLENNIA.

IF YOU DRILL DOWN
INTO AN AQUIFER YOU'VE
GOT YOURSELF A WELL.

IF YOU TAP INTO AN AQUIFER
THAT'S UNDER PRESSURE,

THE WATER WILL COME TO
THE SURFACE ALL ON ITS OWN,

SOMETIMES WITH
CONSIDERABLE FORCE.

THAT WOULD BE
AN ARTESIAN WELL.

MOST GROUND WATER, HOWEVER,
SEEPS TO THE SURFACE

IN THE FORM OF SPRINGS.

WE'LL GET BACK TO THOSE
IN A BIT.

SINCE THEIR PROTECTED
FROM SEEPAGE FROM ABOVE

AND FILTERED BY YEARS OF MOVING
THROUGH SAND AND ROCK,

WATERS FROM CONFINED AQUIFERS
ARE CONSIDERED TO BE

AS CLEAR AND AS CLEAN
AS WATER CAN GET IN NATURE,

WHICH IS NOT TO SAY
THAT THEY ARE SAFE TO DRINK.

IN FACT, REGARDLESS
OF WHETHER YOU'RE TALKING

ABOUT SURFACE WATER
OR GROUND WATER,

CLEAN DRINKING WATER IS ACTUALLY
PRETTY HARD TO COME BY.

WHY? WELL, IT ALL COMES DOWN
TO 104.45 DEGREES...

AND I DON'T MEAN
TEMPERATURE.

OH, AND BY THE WAY,
IF YOU'VE GOT A WELL,

THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT GOING
TO REGULATE THAT WATER FOR YOU,

SO GET IT TESTED FOR SAFETY
EVERY YEAR.

(pulley squeaking)


SO GET IT TESTED FOR SAFETY
EVERY YEAR.

104.45--THIS MAY BE
THE MOST SIGNIFICANT NUMBER

IN ALL OF HUMAN EXISTENCE

BECAUSE IT IS THE ANGLE
AT WHICH ONE OXYGEN ATOM

BONDS WITH TWO HYDROGEN
ATOMS...

LIKE THIS.

NOW THAT IS NOT, IN FACT,

A MASCOT FROM A FAMOUS
AMUSEMENT PARK.

IT IS A WATER MOLECULE.

AND THIS PARTICULAR,
EXACT ARRANGEMENT

MEANS WE HAVE A MOLECULE
THAT IS POLAR IN NATURE.

THAT MEANS IT HAS A NEGATIVE
CHARGE ON ONE END

AND A POSITIVE CHARGE
ON THE OTHER,

AND THAT MEANS IT IS ESSENTIALLY
A MOLECULAR MAGNET.

JUST AS A MAGNET CAN ONLY
PICK UP FERROUS METALS,

WATER CAN ONLY HYDROGEN BOND
WITH OTHER POLAR MOLECULES.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF THEM
OUT IN NATURE--

CALCIUM, MAGNESIUM,
RADIUM, LEAD...

DOZENS, IF NOT HUNDREDS,
OF COMPOUNDS.

SOME OF THEM ARE BAD FOR YOU
IN ANY AMOUNT.

BUT GENERALLY SPEAKING, EVEN
THE ONES THAT ARE GOOD FOR YOU

CAN BE BAD IF THERE ARE
TOO MANY OF THEM IN THERE.

'COURSE, WHAT'S REALLY
IMPORTANT TO COOKS

IS THAT HYDROGEN BONDING

MEANS THAT WATER CAN ACT
AS A VERY POWERFUL SOLVENT.

IT CAN EXTRACT, SAY,
PROTEINS FROM CHICKEN BONES

FOR MAKING A STOCK,

OR IT CAN EXTRACT CARBOHYDRATES
FROM A COFFEE BEAN.

AND AS IF WATER
WASN'T ALREADY

A POWERFUL SOLVENT
ON ITS OWN, GET THIS.

WHEN WATER FALLS
FROM THE SKY AS RAIN,

IT IS SO DESPERATE
FOR MOLECULAR BUDDIES

THAT IT'LL SNATCH CARBON
DIOXIDE RIGHT OUT OF THE AIR.

WILL YOU BE
MY FRIEND?

OKAY, I GUESS.

(Alton)
BUT HOLD IT!
THIS UNION FORMS

A WEAK FORM
OF CARBONIC ACID,

MAKING THE WATER EVEN BETTER
AT DISSOLVING THINGS.

AND, OF COURSE, THE MORE CO2
WE PUMP INTO THE ATMOSPHERE,

THE MORE ACIDIC
OUR RAIN GETS.

SEE THOSE LITTLE BLOBS?
THEY'RE CALLED FLOC,

AND FORMING THEM
IS USUALLY THE FIRST STEP

IN TREATING
SURFACE WATER LIKE THIS.

ALUM, A FORM OF ALUMINUM,
ODDLY ENOUGH,

IS THE FLOCCING AGENT HERE.

IT CREATES KIND OF THESE
LITTLE, STICKY BLOBS

THAT ATTRACT PARTICULATE
MATTER IN THE WATER

AS WELL AS BACTERIA
AND OTHER FLOATING NASTIES.

NOW, AS WATER MOVES
THROUGH THESE SLUICES,

THE FLOC GETS BIGGER,
AND BIGGER, AND BIGGER.

BUT IT DOESN'T SETTLE
DOWN AND OUT

UNTIL IT REACHES
THE SEDIMENTATION TANKS.

HERE THE FLOC SETTLES DOWN
TO THE BOTTOM,

LEAVING AMAZINGLY
CLEAR WATER.

NOW, BEFORE WE MOVE ON,
A WORD ABOUT DISINFECTANTS.

ALTHOUGH THERE ARE PLENTY
OF MECHANICAL AND PHYSICAL
PROCESSES

THAT CAN KILL VIRUSES,
BACTERIA, AND WHATNOT,

GOOD, OLD CHLORINE IS STILL
THE BEST AND CHEAPEST WAY

FOR BIG SYSTEMS LIKE THIS
TO PRODUCE SAFE WATER.

CHLORINE IS
A POWERFUL OXIDANT

THAT CAN BREAK DOWN CELL WALLS
OF MICROBIAL TROUBLEMAKERS

LIKE SIEGE GUNS
POUNDING CASTLE WALLS.

BEST OF ALL, CHLORINE HAS WHAT'S
CALLED RESIDUAL EFFECTIVENESS,

MEANING THAT IF
THE DOSE IS RIGHT,

IT CAN CONTINUE KILLING NASTIES
RIGHT UP TO THE MOMENT

YOUR WATER COMES
OUT OF THE TAP.

OH, THIS IS COOL.

THE SEDIMENT WILL PILE UP
ON THE BOTTOM OF THESE TANKS

AND GET IN THE WAY.

SO THESE GIANT STIRRERS
MOVE VERY, VERY SLOWLY

AND KIND OF RAKE ALL THE SLUDGE
DOWN INTO A BIG DRAIN.

THEN IT'S TAKEN AWAY AND USED
AS COMPOST OR FERTILIZER.

RECYCLING--IT'S A GOOD THING.

¶

IN THE FILTER HOUSE,
THE WATER PERCOLATES DOWN

THROUGH A FINE CARBON POWDER
AND A BIG, FAT LAYER OF SAND,

WHICH REMOVES MOST OF THE
REMAINING PARTICULATE MATTER.

IF YOU HAVE A SWIMMING POOL
WITH A SAND OR
DIATOMACEOUS EARTH FILTER--

SAME THING, JUST A WHOLE
LOT BIGGER.

NOW, AT ANY POINT
DURING THIS PROCESS,

THE ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION
AGENCY CAN SWOOP IN

AND RUN TESTS IN ORDER
TO ENFORCE STANDARDS

ON 90 CHEMICAL,
MICROBIOLOGICAL,

RADIOLOGICAL AND PHYSICAL
CONTAMINANTS.

WHO GIVES THEM THE RIGHT?

WHY, THE SAFE DRINKING WATER
ACT OF 1974, OR COURSE.

SHINY--SHINY, BRIGHT
BUTTONS, LOOK.

(muttering)
SHINY... NO!

ONCE THE WATER'S BEEN
FILTERED AND DISINFECTED,

OF COURSE IT HAS TO BE
DELIVERED.

NOW, IN SMALLER COMMUNITIES,
THAT USUALLY MEANS

PUMPING THE WATER UP INTO
A LARGE TANK ON TOP OF A TOWER.

AND IN THAT CASE, GRAVITY
DOES THE ACTUAL DELIVERING

BY PUSHING THE WATER
TO THE END USERS--

THAT IS, FOLKS WITH FAUCETS.

IN A BIG OLD METROPOLIS
LIKE THIS, THOUGH,

YOU'VE GOTTA HAVE BIG PUMPS
THAT ARE EITHER POWERED

BY ELECTRICITY
OR BY GAS TURBINES.

MORE SOPHISTICATED SYSTEMS
LIKE THIS MUST BE MONITORED.

A ROOM LIKE THIS CAN WATCH
OVER THE WATER LOADS

FLOWING TO HUNDREDS
OF THOUSANDS OF CUSTOMERS.

IN THE SUMMER,
WHEN CONSUMPTION IS UP,

OPERATORS CAN SEE EXACTLY WHICH
PUMPS NEED TO BE TURNED UP

AND EXACTLY WHERE
THAT WATER NEEDS TO FLOW.

THE END RESULT?
WELL, AMERICA ENJOYS

THE SAFEST, CHEAPEST,
TASTIEST

AND MOST RELIABLE TAP WATER
IN THE WORLD.

STILL, AS DR. MALCOLM PUT IT
IN "JURASSIC PARK,"

"LIFE WILL FIND A WAY."

AND OCCASIONALLY
EVEN THE BEST SYSTEM

DOES DEVELOP A CHINK
IN THE ARMOR.

FOR INSTANCE, IN 1999,

A RELATIVELY NEW BUG
CALLED CRYPTOSPORIDIUM

CREPT THROUGH A WATER
TREATMENT PLANT

IN MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN,
LEAVING 50 PEOPLE DEAD,

WHICH MAY EXPLAIN,
AT LEAST IN PART,

WHY MILLIONS ARE WILLING
TO SPEND BILLIONS

ON ALTERNATIVE SOURCES
OF DRINKING WATER.

¶

REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME
YOU SAW ONE OF THESE?

WE'LL, I SURE DO.
IT WAS 1979.

AND AS I QUAFFED
THE BUBBLY CONTENTS

SHIPPED ALL THE WAY FROM A VERY
FAMOUS SOURCE IN FRANCE,

I WAS CERTAIN THAT I WAS

ONE OF THE HIPPEST PEOPLE
ON EARTH--EXCUSE ME.

MMM. DESPITE THE FACT
THAT TAP WATER

COST THE AVERAGE AMERICAN
SOMETHING LIKE

A HUNDREDTH OF A PENNY
A GALLON,

AN EVER-INCREASING NUMBER
OF US ARE SPENDING BUCKS--

BIG BUCKS--ON BOTTLED WATER.
A NEW TREND? NO.

JUST LIKE SHIRLEY BASSEY
SINGS,

"IT'S ALL JUST A LITTLE BIT
OF HISTORY REPEATING."

FROM THE BEGINNING
OF RECORDED TIME,

WATERS ISSUING
FROM DEEP WITHIN THE EARTH

HAVE BEEN CREDITED
WITH POSSESSING MEDICINAL,

IF NOT MAGICAL, PROPERTIES.

PLINY THE ELDER, FOR INSTANCE,
WROTE OF SPRINGS

WHICH SUPPOSEDLY COULD
MAKE WOMEN CONCEIVE,

CHANGE YOUR VOICE, OR CONVERT
BLACK SHEEP INTO WHITE SHEEP...

WHICH, I SUPPOSE,
COULD BE USEFUL.

THROUGHOUT THE 18th
AND 19th CENTURY,

ACTUALLY RIGHT UP
INTO THE 20th CENTURY,

IT WAS NOT AT ALL UNUSUAL--
GOOD MORNING, NURSE.

GOOD MORNING,
DOCTOR.

FOR A RESPECTED PHYSICIAN,
SUCH AS MYSELF,

TO PRESCRIBE
MY CLIENT TO GO OFF,

SOMETIMES HUNDREDS OF MILES,

TO VISIT VARIOUS SPAS
AND SPRINGS

IN ORDER TO TAKE THE WATERS
AS A FORM OF TREATMENT

FOR MANY A MALAISE--
SOME REAL, SOME QUITE IMAGINED.

GOOD MORNING,
MISS MARY CATHERINE.
HOW ARE WE TODAY?

SHE'S MUCH IMPROVED,
DR. BROWN.

NO MORE FAINTING
SPELLS, THEN?

I REALLY DO FEEL
EVER SO MUCH BETTER.

YES, WELL...
TONGUE...
IS SHE CURED?

WELL, HER COLOR
IS IMPROVED, BUT
I'M AFRAID... NO.

SHE'S ONLY
MOSTLY CURED.

I WANT YOU
TO REMAIN HERE
FOR TWO MORE DAYS.

I WISH YOU TO HAVE
7 LITERS OF WATER
BEFORE 10:00 A.M.

I WISH YOU TO HAVE
A DIP IN A TEPID POOL
FROM 11:00 TO 12:00,

A NAP, IN BED,
FROM 1:00 TO 4:00,

2 LITERS OF WATER BEFORE
DINNER, AND THEN A DIP
IN THE CHILLING POOL.

THEN YOU MAY
GO HOME.

THANK YOU, DR. BROWN!
I FEEL CERTAIN

THAT YOU'VE SAVED
MY LIFE.
OH, NOT AT ALL,
CHILD.

NOT AT ALL.
WELL... MAYBE.

THE GROOVY THING IS
THAT THESE CURES

SOMETIMES ACTUALLY WORKED.

YOU SEE, AS IT TURNS OUT,
WATER WITH A LOT OF IRON IN IT

IS VERY GOOD FOR TREATING
WHAT THE DOCTORS USED TO CALL

"FEMALE TROUBLES."

SULFUR WATER IS GOOD
FOR SKIN DISEASES.

CARBONIC WATERS
OR CARBONATED WATERS

ARE VERY GOOD
FOR TUMMY TROUBLE,

AND CERTAIN ALKALINE MINERAL
WATERS ARE ACTUALLY GOOD
AT TREATING GOUT.

SPEAKING OF--
MR. SOMERSET,
HOW ARE WE TODAY?

OH, DOCTOR,
THE PAIN IS SIMPLY
INTOLERABLE.

OH, THAT'S DREADFUL.
WELL, IT DOES APPEAR

THAT YOUR CONDITION
HAS WORSENED.

LET'S SEE...
UM...

I WANT YOU TO GO
TO...

PRUSSIA.

THERE ARE THREE
POOLS THERE--
I WISH YOU TO SOAK

IN POOL NUMBER ONE
IN THE MORNING, NUMBER
THREE IN THE AFTERNOON,

NUMBER TWO BEFORE DINNER
AND THEN DO

THE ENTIRE THING
IN REVERSE

BEFORE BEDTIME.

(stammering)
AIX... UH, LE--
YES.

(stammering)
LE...UH, PRUSSIA?
PRUSSIA.

HOW LONG WILL IT
TAKE ME TO GET THERE?

I'M A DOCTOR, MAN,
NOT A TRAVEL AGENT!

DRINK THIS ALONG
THE WAY AND CALL MY
OFFICE IN THE MORNING.

(Alton)
EVEN IF THE SUBSTANCES
AVAILABLE IN THE WATER

WEREN'T THE RIGHT ONES
FOR THE AILMENT CONCERNED,

ODDS ARE ALWAYS GOOD
THAT THE HEALTH OF THE PATIENT

WOULD IMPROVE SIMPLY
BECAUSE THE WATER

FROM THE SPRINGS
WAS SO MUCH CLEANER

THAN THAT AVAILABLE
IN THE CITIES.

YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER--
THE CONCEPT OF SANITATION

DIDN'T REALLY EXIST
BEFORE THE 20th CENTURY

AND IN BIG CITIES
LIKE PARIS,

IT WASN'T UNUSUAL
FOR WELLS TO BE DUG

RIGHT NEXT TO OPEN
CESSPOOLS.

SO IN BIG CITIES,

UP TILL THE 20th CENTURY,

EVERYBODY STAYED SICK
ALL THE TIME TO SOME
DEGREE OR ANOTHER.

AND THAT IS WHY IN PLACES
LIKE LONDON,

BEER, MADE FROM BOILED WATER

AND PRESERVED
TO SOME DEGREE WITH HOPS,

BECAME THE BEVERAGE OF CHOICE--

EVEN IN SCHOOLS
AND HOSPITALS.

ALTHOUGH THE RICH COULD
AFFORD TO COME HANG OUT

AT SPRINGS AND SPAS
FOR WEEKS,

IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG
FOR THE OWNERS OF SAID SPRINGS

TO GET THE IDEA
OF BOTTLING THE WATERS

FOR DISTRIBUTION.

BY THE 1880s, YOU COULD
WALK INTO A GOOD STORE

IN JUST ABOUT ANY CITY
IN THE WORLD AND BUY WATER

FROM ALL OF THE BEST SPAS
AND SPRINGS IN THE WORLD--

NEW YORK, FRANCE, ITALY--
YOU NAME IT.

BUT THEY WERE NOT CHEAP.
IN FACT, IT WASN'T UNUSUAL

FOR THE PRICES OF SPA WATERS

TO BE COMMISERATE
WITH FINE PERFUMES.

WHAT'S FUNNY IS THAT
THE BURGEONING MIDDLE CLASS

WHO COULD AFFORD TO TRAVEL
AND COULDN'T TAKE OFF
THE TIME FOR TRAVEL

WERE WILLING TO COUGH UP
RELATIVELY BIG BUCKS

FOR THESE WATERS BECAUSE OF
THEIR POTENTIAL HEALTH VIRTUES.

AND THUS, THE BOTTLED WATER
INDUSTRY BOOMED,

ESPECIALLY FOR--THANK YOU--

THE SPRING OWNERS
THEMSELVES,

AND OF COURSE,
THE WILY PHYSICIANS

WHO ENDORSED THEIR WARES.
THANK YOU, SIR.

(laughing) BUT THIS IS
NOTHING COMPARED TO THE MONEY

THAT THE BOTTLES
BRING IN TODAY.

¶

OKAY, WE DON'T HAVE A WHOLE
LOT OF TIME LEFT HERE,

BUT THERE'S SOME THINGS
THAT EVERYBODY NEEDS
TO KNOW ABOUT BOTTLED WATER.

OKAY, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND
THAT UNLIKE TAP WATER,

WHICH IS REGULATED BY THE
ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY,

BOTTLED WATER FALLS UNDER
THE WATCHFUL EYE OF THE FOOD
AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION,

WHICH IS REQUIRED TO UPHOLD
THE STANDARDS SET FOR TAP WATER

BY THE ENVIRONMENTAL
PROTECTION AGENCY.

ALTHOUGH STATE GOVERNMENTS
MAY ADOPT HIGHER STANDARDS,

ALTHOUGH THERE HAVE NO INCIDENCE
OF FOOD-BORNE ILLNESS

ATTRIBUTED TO BOTTLED WATER,
THERE IS NO REASON TO ASSUME

THAT IS SAFER THAN WHAT IS
SUPPLIED BY YOUR MUNICIPALITY.

OKAY, LABELS...
IF IT SAYS "SPRING WATER,"

IT MUST HAVE BEEN HARVESTED
FROM AN UNDERGROUND AQUIFER

FROM WHICH WATER NATURALLY
FLOWS TO THE SURFACE

AT A SPECIFIC LOCATION.

WELL WATER MEANS THAT
THE WATER'S BEEN PUMPED

OUT OF A HOLE IN THE GROUND
DRILLED BY MAN, RIGHT?

NOW IF IT SAYS "ARTESIAN"
OR "ARTESIANAL WATER,"

THEN THAT HOLE IN THE GROUND
HIT AN AQUIFER THAT WAS
UNDER PRESSURE

SO THE WATER COMES UP TO
THE SURFACE UNDER ITS OWN,

SOMETIMES LIKE A BIG GUSHER.

NOW, IF IT SAYS
"NATURALLY SPARKLING,"

THAT MEANS THE WATER
HAD DISSOLVED CO2 IN IT,

ENOUGH TO BE NICE AND BUBBLY
WHEN IT COMES TO THE SURFACE--

BUT IT CAN'T BE ADDED.

IF THE WATER HAS MORE THAN
250 PARTS PER MILLION

OF TOTAL DISSOLVED SOLIDS,
THAT MEANS MINERALS,

THEN YOU CAN LABEL THE WATER
"MINERAL WATER."

MOST OF YOUR EXPENSIVE
EUROPEAN IMPORTS

ARE MINERAL WATERS AND THEY
HAVE A VERY DISTINCT FLAVOR

THAT SOME AMERICANS LIKE
AND SOME AMERICANS DON'T.

NOW, HERE'S THE POTENTIALLY
SURPRISING PART--

ABOUT 30% OF THE BOTTLES
BEHIND ME,

INCLUDING THE TOP
NATIONAL BRANDS,

HARVESTED
FROM MUNICIPAL SOURCES...

(whispering)
TAP WATER.

HEY, AMERICA, BEFORE YOU POP
THE CAP

ON YOUR NEXT DOSE

OF ARTESIAN-WELL-GLACIAL-RUNOFF-
SPRING-BUBBLY WATER

OR WHATEVER...
THINK ABOUT THE BOTTLE.

NOW THIS BOTTLE AND ABOUT 50
GAGILLION OTHERS JUST LIKE IT

IS MADE FROM
POLYETHYLENE TEREPHTHALATE,

OR P.E.T., WHICH WAS DEVELOPED
BY TWO BRITISH CHEMISTS

AND PATENTED IN 1973.

P.E.T. IS STRONG.
P.E.T. IS LIGHT.

P.E.T. IS STABLE,
CHEMICALLY SPEAKING,

AND P.E.T. IS CLEAR,

WHICH IS GOOD FOR AMERICANS,
BECAUSE WE LIKE TO SEE

WHAT WE'RE BUYING--
ESPECIALLY WHEN WE'RE PAYING

THREE BUCKS
FOR A BOTTLE OF WATER.

BEST OF ALL, THOUGH,

P.E.T. IS COMPLETELY
RECYCLABLE , OKAY?

RUN THIS LITTLE BUDDY
THROUGH THE CHIPPER,

AND YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF
THE MAKINGS OF SOME VERY NICE

WALL-TO-WALL CARPETING.

BUT, MY FELLOW AMERICANS,
THERE IS A CATCH.

DESPITE WHAT MANY OF YOU HAVE
APPARENTLY BEEN LED TO BELIEVE,

P.E.T. BOTTLES ARE INCAPABLE
OF ROLLING THEMSELVES

TO THE RECYCLING CENTER,
OKAY?

RIGHT NOW, FORESTS, BEACHES,
LANDFILLS, ROADWAYS,

AUTOMOBILE BACKSEATS
AND NEIGHBORHOODS

JUST LIKE YOURS AND MINE,
ARE STARTING TO LOOK
A LOT LIKE THIS--

(yelling)

SEE YOU NEXT TIME
ON "GOOD EATS."

Captioning provided
by Scripps Networks, Inc.