Gomer Pyle: USMC (1964–1969): Season 5, Episode 12 - The Wild Bull Returns - full transcript

Starring... as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring... as
Sergeant Carter.

♪ ♪

You wanted to see me, sir?

Sergeant Carter!

My old amigo!

General Cortez.

It's good to see you again.

Yes. Isn't it?

The general is on his
way to Washington,

and he made a special
stopover here just to visit with us.



He'll be staying overnight,

and I offered to have a
little reception in his honor,

but he said he'd rather spend
the time with you and your men.

I'm honored, sir.

Sergeant Carter, I
leave the responsibility

for the general's
comfort and entertainment

entirely in your hands.

Now, gentlemen, if
you will excuse me,

you're welcome to use
my office for your plans.

Thank you, Colonel.

I have not forgot how kind
you were to me, Sergeant.

Tonight, we will celebrate my
visit with a night on your town.

Well, I'll certainly be
looking forward to that, sir.

Is there anyplace
special you had in mind?



Special? The most special!

The best dancing,
the best dining,

the best wine!

Well, there's the Club Chi-Chi.

Chi-Chi. Muy bien.

That's where we will go.

Tell me, Sergeant, how is my
other good friend, Gomer Pyle?

Oh, he's fine, sir.

Good. Good. I like him.

He speak with
a... a funny accent,

but I like him.

Gomer!

Gomer Pyle, my number one amigo!

General Cortez!

What in the world
are you doing here?

Oh, excuse me, sir.

Oh, Gomer, you
don't have to do that.

We are friends.

I see that you have
your work to do.

We will talk more later.

You will be my guest tonight
in town with Sergeant Carter.

Oh, well, I sure do
appreciate the invitation, sir,

but, well, I wouldn't
want to be in the way.

Nonsense!

It would not be an
evening without you.

It's going to be a big reunion!

Golly! Sure sounds
like a lot of fun.

Good. I see you outside
your barracks at 6:00.

Well, I'll be ready.

Good. It's wonderful
seeing you again, Gomer.

I always get sentimental
when I see old friends.

I'm the same way.

I like you, Gomer.

Until tonight... hasta luego.

And a haster
loo-ager to you, sir.

Look, Bunny, what can I do?

It's an order from the colonel.

I can't take you.

Well, the general might
want to talk business.

You know, diplomatic
stuff, like foreign relations.

Bunny, there ain't
gonna be no dames!

Ah, good evening, Gomer.

Oh, hey, General.

Excuse me, sir, but
ain't that a naval uniform?

Si. I'm not only
general of the army...

I'm first admiral of the navy.

Navy?

Well, last time you was here,

you showed me a
map of your country

and it was all inland.

There wasn't any
water anywhere nearby.

Well, we don't have a navy yet,

but when we do
have one, I am ready.

Ah, Sergeant Carter!

Oh, good evening, General.

Uh, sir, that uniform...

He's also an admiral.

Oh.

That's nice.

You can call him
either one, it's proper.

Shall we go?

Uh, yes, sir.

Where are you going, Pyle?

Well... Gomer is
with us, of course.

Huh?

I invite him.

Can I talk to you a minute, sir?

Sir, it's very nice
of you to invite him,

but I, uh, thought
we'd be talking shop.

You know, foreign
relations and all.

Why, I even canceled a
date so's we could be alone.

You mean to say that
you canceled a date

with a young lady on my account?

Well, yes, sir.

But that's all right.

No, it's not all right.

I feel terrible.

Do you think that the senorita
would care to join us tonight?

Well, yeah, I guess she would.

Gomer.

Yes, sir?

Do you have any objection

if Sergeant Carter's senorita
joined us this evening?

Miss Bunny?

Golly, no.

The more the merrier.

The more the mer...
That's very clever.

That's very clever.

Did you make that up? Very good.

Uh, yeah... Well, fine.

Bunny's working late tonight,

but if you got a second,

I'll call her and
ask her to join us.

Magnifico.

That's real kind of
you to ask Miss Bunny.

She's a real nice person.

I'm sure she is.

I'm just sorry
that I did not know

a senorita was going to join us.

I would have worn
my dress uniform.

Very nice, Sergeant, very nice.

Thank you, sir.

This is one of your more
exclusive night clubs.

Oh, Sergeant, there's
Miss Bunny now.

Hey, Miss Bunny.

Hi, everybody.

Bunny, this is the gentleman
I told you about this afternoon.

General Cortez,
Miss Bunny Wilson.

How do you do.

They told me I was
going to meet a lady,

but I did not dream
it was going to be...

such a beautiful one.

Thank you, General.

Call me Manuel.

Manuel.

Waiter, a bottle of your
best wine immediately.

Why is not the musician playing?

Oh, I guess they're
just taking a little rest.

At a time like this?

We should have lovely music

to match the loveliness
of a lovely lady.

Look, Bunny, he's
kind of a character,

but just go along with him.

The colonel gave
me this assignment.

I got to do my best.

Oh, all right.

Actually, I think
he's kind of cute.

I have ordered the band
to play all night long.

They will feature
rumbas, sambas, tangos.

And also the favorite dance
of my country San Miguel...

the boogaloo.

May I have the honor
of this dance, please?

I'd love to.

He's gonna dip
her till she drops.

Boy, am I going to hear it from
Bunny when this night is over.

Well, I don't know, Sergeant,

she seems to be
enjoying herself.

That's very cute.

Yes, it is.

The more the merrier.

She's a good actress, that kid.

Ah, good, the wine.

It was charming, my dear.

You dance divinely.

Vino?!

Please bring me
something a little more dry.

Anything wrong, sir?

Oh, no, no.

Just changing brands.

Please see to it personally.

Price is no object.

I'll make it worth your while.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir!

May I have the honor again?

Oh, why, sure.

Boy, that guy don't
know when to stop.

Your rumba is even more
exquisite than your tango.

Are you sure that
you're not part Latin?

Oh, no, I'm all Irish.

Well, your blood may be Irish,

but your hips are Spanish.

Manuel!

A toast.

Another one?

Well, I have already toasted

to the rosy lobe
of your left ear.

I must pay equal
tribute to your right.

Well, it's got to be the last.

I'm running out of earlobes.

Waiter. Check please.

Just a minute,
General, I want to pay

some of that.

Absolutely not.

The evening is entirely on me.

Okay, if you insist.

There you are...
100,000 pesaros.

And you may keep the change.

Sir, I'm sorry, we don't
accept foreign money.

Nonsense.

You can exchange
this in any bank.

It's as sound as
your American dollar.

Come, my dear.

Gentlemen... Yeah?

Just a minute.

There isn't enough
here to cover the bill.

What are you talking about?

He says you can
exchange it at any bank.

That's right, but
100,000 pesaros

is seven dollars in
American money.

And the bill comes to $56.50.

Start digging,
Pyle, start digging.

Gomer.

Hey, General.

I thought you'd be on your
way to Washington by now.

Si, Gomer.

But I have decided to
extend my leave. Oh?

And for a very good reason.

What?

Gomer, you are my best amigo.

And I'm going to
tell you a secret

that I've not told
to anyone else.

You got boats for your navy.

No, Gomer.

This is a secret of the heart.

I'm in love.

In love?

Well, ain't that good news.

Who's the lucky girl?

Senorita Bunny.

Miss Bunny?

Si. Something is
wrong, my amigo?

You're not happy for me.

Well, it's not that.

It's just that Miss Bunny
is Sergeant Carter's girl.

His steady.

But how was I to know?

Last night at the dance,

he didn't dance a
single dance with her.

Well, you really didn't
give him a chance.

You kept Miss Bunny to
yourself pretty much all evening.

You're right.

I was selfish.

I feel so ashamed.

But I am a gentleman

and now that I know she's
engaged to Sergeant Carter

I will bow out
gracefully, of course.

When will they be married?

They haven't set a date.

See, they're not really
engaged yet, but...

They're not?

Then it's not official.

Well, not yet, but they...

Then there's still hope.

I will stay and woo her.

Well, what about
Sergeant Carter?

Let him woo, too.

The battle of love is on.

And may the best man win.

Gomer! What a surprise.

Miss Bunny, I
hate to disturb you,

but could I talk to
you for a minute?

Sure. Come on in.

Oh, boy, that was some
night last night, huh?

And Manuel is too much.

Look what he sent me.

And get a load of this card.

"The red of these
roses is only a start,

For when we we're apart,
there's a dart in my heart."

Oh, my gosh, he's fired
the first shot of the war.

War? What do you mean?

Well, that's what I came
here to talk to you about.

He's officially
courting you now.

Oh, Gomer, he can't
really be serious.

He's just a sweet, kooky guy.

Who else toasts ear lobes?

But he is serious.
He told me so hisself.

He's in love with you.

In love with me?

Oh, you're putting me on.

No, I'm not,

and when he sets
his mind to something,

he's like a snowball
rolling downhill.

How about that?

In love with me.

Well, you just have to tell him

you're Sergeant
Carter's girlfriend,

and that if he goes any further,

the sergeant's
gonna get awful mad.

Yeah, he would, wouldn't he?

And that there's no telling
what he'd do; no telling at all.

You're right. And
you know something?

Maybe I ought see
what he would do.

Huh?

Maybe it's about time
I let Vince stew a little.

Might even get him off the dime.

What are you saying?

I'm just saying I'm gonna

let nature and Manuel
take their course.

Might be very interesting
to see what happens.

But you shouldn't
encourage General Cortez

if you're not serious.

Oh, now, really, Gomer,

how long do you think
he's gonna be serious?

You know those Latins.

In two days, he'll be toasting
somebody else's ear lobes.

That's just the way they are.

Meanwhile, I'll
have a little fun

and Vince'll have
a little aggravation.

Excuse me.

Uh, Bunny Wilson? Yes.

This is for you.

Oh, thank you.

Gee... I wonder what this is.

Well, it's from Manuel.

And he remembered
my favorite perfume.

I didn't even know it
came in such a large bottle.

"May this beautiful
scent be an odorous tent

That covers your charms
when you're in my arms."

He's wild, I tell
you, just wild.

Gomer!

Oh, hey, General.

Gomer, I need your help.

What are you
doing this afternoon?

Well, not too much.

Sergeant Carter's
in a staff meeting,

and Duke's on leave.
Most of the fellows

just go into town on Saturday..

Good. Then you are free
to come along with me.

I want you to be my duenna.

Duenna?

Si. My chaperone.

I want to take Miss
Bunny out this afternoon,

and in my country,
when you are a courting

a girl whom you
love and respect,

it is improper not to
have along a chaperone.

Oh, well, I-I don't know
about being a chaperone.

You don't do anything.

You just sit between us
while we're holding hands.

Well, I just don't feel
right about this whole thing

and I think you ought
to ask Sergeant Carter

if it's okay to take Miss Bunny.

But you said yourself
that they are not engaged;

that she is free.

Well, I guess, but...

I'd just feel funny
being a party to this.

Gomer, if you do not come along,

I cannot promise
what will happen.

I don't trust myself with her.

I'm a Latin, a man of hot blood,

and I must have someone
else there to cool it.

Well, if you really think
I should come along.

Good. I will see
you here at 2:00.

Oh, Gomer, in my country,

chaperones usually
take along their knitting.

But if you prefer a
crossword puzzle, why...

♪ ♪

♪ Aye, aye, aye, aye... ♪

I don't know how to
thank you, General.

It was just a lovely afternoon.

Nonsense.

It is I who should thank you.

You have made this an afternoon

I will always remember.

The brightness of your eyes

is brighter than the
shimmer on the lake.

The warmth of your smile
was warmer than the sun.

The taste of your
Frosty Freeze is...

still on my lips.

Oh, Manuel.

I will pick you up
tonight at 7:00.

Tonight?

Oh, my goodness,

I haven't caught my
breath from this afternoon.

I don't know if I can.

Please, I must see you again.

Until tonight.

I'm sorry.

Gomer, you should watch that!

You're the duenna.

All right, General,
until tonight.

Good-bye, Gomer.

Good-bye, Miss Bunny.

Gomer, I have made a decision.

The biggest decision of my life.

You have?

Tonight, I will ask
Senorita Bunny

for her hand in marriage.

Sergeant Carter...

Oh, Pyle, I've been
looking for you.

The colonel just told me,

General Cortez is going to
be spending another night.

Yes, sir, I know.
As a matter of fact,

he's asked me to go
to the Chi-Chi Club

with him again tonight.

Good. That's what I
wanted to talk to you about.

Entertaining that General Cortez
has put me way behind schedule.

Look, Pyle, you
go with him tonight.

He likes you almost
as much as he does me.

Show him a good time.

Then later, when I finish here,
maybe I'll give Bunny a call

and we'll both come
down and join you.

Yes, sir, if you're sure

that's what you'd
really like me to do.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Now get out of here
and let me finish my work.

Sergeant...

do you have a standing date with
Miss Bunny every Saturday night?

Huh?

Well, you know, like being
able to call her up real late

knowing she's going to be there?

What are you doing,
Pyle, writing a book?

No, Sergeant, not that.

I was just wondering
what would happen

if, one Saturday night,
Miss Bunny wasn't there.

What are you talking about?

Well, are you sure
she's going to always

be there on Saturday
night? Yeah, I'm sure.

Why? Why?

Because she's
my girl, that's why.

Now get out of here
and let me finish my work.

I think tonight we
will have champagne.

This is a very special occasion.

What is your very best?

Well, I recommend...
I don't trust you.

General, why don't you go
and select the wine yourself?

Good idea, Gomer.

Take me to your wine cellar.

This way.

I suggested that so we could
have a minute to ourselves.

I had to warn you
about something.

What?

Well, the general's going
to ask you to marry him.

He's fixing to do it
tonight, right now.

That's the reason he's
ordering champagne.

Oh, come on, Gomer.

I mean it. He told
me so himself.

I warned you he's
like a rolling snowball.

But that's crazy.

I didn't mean for
it to go this far.

I'll just tell him
no, that's all.

Well, the general's a proud man.

He might not take
no for an answer.

Well, what am I supposed to do?

Well, you'll just have to
discourage him somehow.

I don't know how you
go about doing that, but...

What a ridiculous wine cellar.

It's upstairs over the kitchen.

Just leave it there.

I'll let you know when
we're ready for the toast.

And now, my dear,
I have something

very important to say to you.

Manuel... Tut-tut-tut-
tut-tut-tut-tut.

There comes a time
in every man's life

when he must choose a mate.

And I, Manuel Cortez,

choose you to become my mate,

Bunny Wilson. Oh,
well, that's very sweet...

Please, please, please, please.

Let me finish.
Don't say yes yet.

We'll be married the
first of next month.

And we'll honeymoon
in my chateau

on top of our glorious mountain.

And then we'll
return to my villa

where you'll be
cherished and pampered

and everything
will be done for you.

What exactly does
this mean, General?

Well, she will have
two personal maids,

a chef to do the
cooking, a limousine.

Even her clothes will
be selected for her.

You mean she don't even
get to pick out what she wears?

Well, why should she?

As the wife of
the military leader

of our country, she'll
be told what to wear,

who to entertain, where to go.

All she will have to do

is devote 24 hours of
her day to loving me.

Now you can say yes,

and we'll open the champagne.

Excuse me, Miss Bunny,

but, well, how does
that sound to you?

Knowing that you like to
pick out your own clothes

and do some of your own cooking?

Do you think you'd
like a change like that?

Um... yeah... You see, Manuel,

I'm pretty set in my ways

and I'm kind of used to
making my own decisions.

Now just take a little thing

like that honeymoon
on your mountain.

Oh, I wouldn't like that.

I like the seashore.

The seashore?

But I... I hate the seashore.

It's so sandy.

Well, that's where I
always spend my vacations.

And I don't know as I go for

that idea of having
a chef around.

See, I kind of like to knock
around the kitchen by myself

and rustle up some
fast corned beef hash

and some wieners and sauerkraut.

Wieners? Sauerkraut?

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

And, uh, oh, I couldn't

have you telling
me how to dress.

You see, I go through moods,

and sometimes I go
real wild in my clothes.

You know, way out.

Oh, and as far as
entertaining is concerned,

well, listen, I'm just
not the party type at all.

See, I like to stay home
put my hair up in curlers

and watch TV.

You can see that, can't you?

Well, now that we
understand each other,

the answer to your
proposal, my dear...

Senorita Bunny, I must
beg your forgiveness.

I'm afraid I was too hasty.

It was not fair to ask you
to marry me at this time.

My country is expecting

a revolution any day.

And I must return
to my regiment.

As far as our romance...

In English, that means

it was a lot of fun, but
just one of those things.

Very well, duty calls.

Take care of the check. Adios.

Ah, Sergeant Carter.

Never have I seen a
woman so stubborn,

so willful.

You're in for trouble
with this woman.

Trouble! Trouble! Trouble!

I hope you will be very happy.

Vince!

Oh! Am I ever glad to see you!

This is trouble?

Gomer.

General Cortez.

I don't have much time, Gomer.

My car is waiting outside,

but I could not leave
without a last good-bye.

We'll meet again someday.

Well, I sure hope so.

Can I walk you to your car?

If you wish.

I'm sorry things didn't
work out with Miss Bunny.

Which means, that's the
way the cookie crumbles.

That is my lot in life.

For years I've been searching
for the perfect woman.

But each time I
think I've found her...

poof, the balloon of
love bursts in my face.

Aw, well, what can I do.

Good-bye, old friend.

Good-bye, General.

Fortunately, when
one balloon bursts,

you can always blow up another.