Glitch Techs (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - Karate Trainer - full transcript
See you later, Miko.
If you need me,
I'll be back at HQ getting stealthy
with the new Spec Ops Solid Gold Edition!
Right on, ghost recon.
See you after lunch!
In a while, Fiverdile!
Quiet now, Ally.
If Mom sees you, she'll blow a gasket.
Come on, Ally.
Your mom and I just don't see
what the problem is.
The problem is
my karate tournament's tonight
and there's no way I'm going to win
against Nancy McGillicutty.
She's too good.
Well, maybe you just need
a little coaching.
There's this great movie
where a kid learns karate
by painting fences and sanding floors.
That sounds
like the worst karate movie ever.
Lexi, if you're so unhappy,
let's just enroll you in ballet or chess.
But karate improves discipline,
physical grace, confidence...
Hey, all!
Just flew in for lunch.
Forgot to pack mine again.
But, hey, so nice to get out of the office
to kick it with the fam.
This guy knows what I'm talking about.
Am I right, Pop?
Miko, we're having a discussion.
Is it about me? What'd I do now?
For the last time,
I am not a superhero, you guys!
It's not about you, Miko.
Lexi may be giving up karate.
No.
Did we find the one thing
Lexi doesn't have a trophy for?
Shut it, Miko.
Have you ever won a single trophy?
I'm a ranked gamer.
I've unlocked, like, a bajillion trophies.
Yeah, imaginary ones.
The word is "virtual!"
That's enough.
Lexi, if you're so worried
about this tournament,
I'll just tell them you're not coming
- and sign you up for--
- I'm not worried.
I'm bringing home a trophy.
Come on, you're helping me practice.
Who come on? Me come on?
Come on!
I can't help you practice karate.
I have to get back to work.
Yeah, work.
Where you use all those
magicky powers of yours.
Magicky powers?
Me? Your mild-mannered sister-about-town?
That is completely ridiculous.
Okay. But just to be clear,
my powers are techy, not magicky.
How long have you known about my gauntlet?
Forever.
And don't try zapping me with that
forgetty thing you used on Mom and Dad,
because I've backed up the evidence.
I've been compromised!
You realize blackmail
is a violation of the sibling code!
Miko, I don't want
to tell anyone your secret.
I just love karate so much.
But since I'm not so good at it...
you're my only hope.
Fine.
Big sis will power level your karate
with some tae kwon tech.
But to sneak you into work with me,
we're gonna need a little help
from someone on the inside.
Yeah! I am the dusk.
Five.
Five!
Mission for me, sir? Is it dangerous?
Does the fate of the world depend on it?
Think you've been dipping
a little too hard into the stealth titles.
I just need you to mind the register
while B.I.T.T. and I inventory
this shipment of repair parts.
How about intel?
I'm great with intel.
Yeah, you're welcome
to keep it top secret from Bergy.
Okay, this is looking good.
He's an undercover agent.
Me_K.O.
Me_K.O. Me_K.O.
Transmission received, Miko.
- Why do you sound so whispery?
- I'm in stealth mode.
Perfect. I need your help with something.
But you can't tell anyone.
Like a top-secret stealth mission?
Like a top-secret
stealth mission?
I need you to get the key card
to the Tech training simulator.
But only Phil has that key card.
- Hey, you wanted a mission.
- Mission accepted.
This message will now self-destruct.
Please be okay. Please be okay.
Who knows what really happens
when a video game starts to glitch?
Here for a return? Right this way.
- Follow me, and don't let anyone see you.
- Okay.
I am a shadow on the wind.
Stealth mode!
Did I hear loose change?
- Hey, Five!
- Aah!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Bergy.
I didn't mean to do that.
- Do what?
- Right. You saw nothing.
- What's going on?
- I saw nothing!
Hey! Clean up this mess,
or I'm not paying you.
Wow.
You got down here fast.
I thought for sure I'd be the first--
You've been followed!
No memory wiping my sister.
- Your sister?
- I should explain.
My sister knows our secret identity
and wants to be OP in kiddie karate,
so I promised to help her train to win
a trophy using Glitch Techy powers.
There, I explained.
Hi.
It would probably be easier on all of us
if just I pretended
to understand any of that.
It would indeed. Thank you.
Okay, so, what game program
did you want to use for karate training?
I was thinking of Karate Trainer.
Yeah, that'd probably do it.
Let me see here. Calling up
the non-glitched game files,
looking for Karate Trainer...
One...Two... Three...
There's a fourth installment.
Now loading game file.
That's it?
Where's the techy magic?
We could have just played this
in somebody's dingy basement.
Karate Trainer 4!
Welcome, player one.
Choose your training belt.
You're darn right, ""
Soak it up, sister!
Big sis is busting out
some serious next-gen up in here!
- Ready to become a karate master?
- You know it.
Watch the door for us, Five.
Guard duty? I'm on it.
I shall be the eyes
in the front of your head.
Okay, let's belt one out!
Lesson one!
Can't make an omelet
without breaking a few yous.
Chicken style!
What is the point of this?
To defeat a series of foes,
to unlock enough chi power,
to take on the master or something.
But we don't have time for all that.
Just have fun punching stuff.
Fine.
Hey! No fair!
You're over... easy.
Your chicken style is weak, young one.
What are you even doing?
Karate! I start with the ready pose,
find my chi, then do a snap kick.
Player two
has joined the game.
Yeah, no, see,
you're in my dojo now, girl.
My moves are gonna take your game
to the next level!
Stealth mode.
Nothing to see here! Move along!
Did you say something?
I said, nothing to see here!
- See where?
- No, I said...
Hang on! Let me come over there!
Do you have a death wish?
I think you had a bee on you.
That's the logo on my shirt pocket!
Is that my key card?
You, must've dropped it.
K.O.!
Never underestimate the chicken style.
This is not karate.
I thought you were gonna help me
win that tournament tonight.
Hey! If you wanna beat Nancy McGillicutty
and take home that trophy,
you're gonna need more than a snap kick.
Lesson two!
Toad style!
All right, Lex, just do what I do,
and you'll be fine.
This is ridiculous!
Hey, guys. How's training going?
You love tutorials, right?
I think she needs some basics.
Zen gaming is about becoming
one with the combo.
Relying upon repetition and muscle memory.
Okay, that's kinda like karate.
That's what I've been saying
the whole time!
Now come on. Follow my lead, like so.
Hop, hop.
Ribbit, ribbit.
Lower kick, upper punch, spin.
- Do I really have to say "ribbit"?
- Yes, that's essential.
Ribbit, rib-rib-ribbit,
ribbit, ribbit...
- Hey, not bad.
- Now spiral whirligig crane kick!
Hey! I did it!
Crush him! Five...
Come on, sis!
- ...four...
- Bust out a sweet finishing move!
- ...three...
- A finishing what?
...two...
- Like this!
- ...one!
Toad style combo breaker!
Those moves are unreal!
Exactly.
Lesson three!
Monkey style!
Double fist monkey punch!
Swinging high kick!
Now give them a down up punch!
Duck low, then try a back swing kick
with a forward lunge!
Wait, what?
Counter, Lexi! Counter!
Hands up, Lexi! Hands up!
Forward attack!
Reverse block!
Double punch!
- Crouch dodge!
- Stop!
What now?
How am I supposed to focus
with both of you yelling at me?
It's Mom and Dad.
They're on their way to the tournament.
Now I'm out of time,
and I'm still terrible at karate.
Thanks for nothing, Miko.
So I guess this whole mission
kind of broke the fail scale?
Thanks for trying to help.
I should probably go after her.
B.I.T.T., what can I do for you?
Alert! This training room
is now due for repairs.
Repairs?
Please shut down all active programs.
Shutdown incomplete.
Player one belt is still active.
But Lexi was player one.
New stealth mission.
Lexi Kubota, you're up in five.
Sweep the leg, honey!
Did you come to fight Nancy for me?
No. Do you want me to?
No!
Look, if you're worried
about the deal we made, don't.
I won't tell your secret.
I'm not worried.
Sorry I gave you
such major aggro back there.
You don't need that stress.
I just got a little carried away
'cause you asked me for help
and I really wanted
to come through for you.
You did?
Sure, dude. Sibling code.
Thanks.
And now, for the silver trophy,
Kubota versus McGillicutty!
Ganbatte kudasai, Lexi.
Hello, Nancy.
Good luck and may you emerge uninjured.
Begin!
Point, McGillicutty!
Sides!
Hey, Five.
How'd you know it was me?
Anyway, Lexi may be in trouble.
No kidding.
That Nancy is a real junior ninja.
No, she's still wearing the training belt!
What?
Shouldn't it have de-rezzed
when we shut off the training room?
It wouldn't shut off!
- That's it, honey!
- Come on, Lex!
Round two, begin!
Point!
McGillicutty is the winner!
That was a great effort, honey.
And you said you weren't any good.
You gave it your best.
How about we all go get
a frosty freezie freeze?
I didn't win the trophy.
I, think Lex just needs
to say her goodbyes.
Meet you guys later?
Okay. Mwah!
I'm giving up stupid karate.
Lex, you said you loved karate.
Maybe you should stop worrying
about winning trophies
and just enjoy what you love about it.
At least this belt
didn't give you any trouble.
We should get it back to the training room
before anything bad happens.
Like being humiliated
in front of everyone?
Too late.
Here, take your glitchy old belt.
Wait, don't!
Lex, take that belt off!
Final lesson!
The master!
Student, defeat master.
Monkey, chicken...
Wait. Shouldn't he also have toad parts?
There it is.
Okay, guys, you can turn off
your magicky techy stuff now.
Working on it, sis.
- Ready, Five?
- Let's straight-up tank this fool!
- Aah!
- Not good!
If we can't de-rez him,
we can at least try to delay him.
Got you now!
Miko, what is he doing? Is he giving up?
Whatever it is, it's not good.
Lexi, take cover!
Miko!
Student, defeat master.
Student, defeat master.
This is not your fight.
This is my fight.
I can do this!
I have to!
Get away from them, you glitch!
Lexi, get out of here!
Sorry, sis.
That's against the sibling code.
I told you never underestimate
chicken style!
Your karate is weak!
I assure you, chicken man,
this is not karate!
- Yeah!
- Yeah! My baby sister's first combo move!
Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit!
Stand down, stealth ops.
My sister's got this.
Finishing combo!
- Crush him! Five...
- Do it, Lex!
...four...
three... two...
K.O.!
Trophy unlocked.
Perfect Combo.
That was awesome, Lex!
And you even got a trophy after all.
Too bad it's virtual.
Aw.
Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
Lexi?
I've got some new class brochures
for you to look at--
Mom, I'm sorry I didn't
tell you this before, but...
I don't want to quit karate.
I might still get frustrated,
but I love it.
And that's just going
to have to be enough for me.
Well, okay then.
Here, I brought you both some popcorn.
You too, Five.
Aw, how'd she know it was me?
How about a new game?
Like you gotta ask?
Bring on that sweet techy magic, kid!
If you need me,
I'll be back at HQ getting stealthy
with the new Spec Ops Solid Gold Edition!
Right on, ghost recon.
See you after lunch!
In a while, Fiverdile!
Quiet now, Ally.
If Mom sees you, she'll blow a gasket.
Come on, Ally.
Your mom and I just don't see
what the problem is.
The problem is
my karate tournament's tonight
and there's no way I'm going to win
against Nancy McGillicutty.
She's too good.
Well, maybe you just need
a little coaching.
There's this great movie
where a kid learns karate
by painting fences and sanding floors.
That sounds
like the worst karate movie ever.
Lexi, if you're so unhappy,
let's just enroll you in ballet or chess.
But karate improves discipline,
physical grace, confidence...
Hey, all!
Just flew in for lunch.
Forgot to pack mine again.
But, hey, so nice to get out of the office
to kick it with the fam.
This guy knows what I'm talking about.
Am I right, Pop?
Miko, we're having a discussion.
Is it about me? What'd I do now?
For the last time,
I am not a superhero, you guys!
It's not about you, Miko.
Lexi may be giving up karate.
No.
Did we find the one thing
Lexi doesn't have a trophy for?
Shut it, Miko.
Have you ever won a single trophy?
I'm a ranked gamer.
I've unlocked, like, a bajillion trophies.
Yeah, imaginary ones.
The word is "virtual!"
That's enough.
Lexi, if you're so worried
about this tournament,
I'll just tell them you're not coming
- and sign you up for--
- I'm not worried.
I'm bringing home a trophy.
Come on, you're helping me practice.
Who come on? Me come on?
Come on!
I can't help you practice karate.
I have to get back to work.
Yeah, work.
Where you use all those
magicky powers of yours.
Magicky powers?
Me? Your mild-mannered sister-about-town?
That is completely ridiculous.
Okay. But just to be clear,
my powers are techy, not magicky.
How long have you known about my gauntlet?
Forever.
And don't try zapping me with that
forgetty thing you used on Mom and Dad,
because I've backed up the evidence.
I've been compromised!
You realize blackmail
is a violation of the sibling code!
Miko, I don't want
to tell anyone your secret.
I just love karate so much.
But since I'm not so good at it...
you're my only hope.
Fine.
Big sis will power level your karate
with some tae kwon tech.
But to sneak you into work with me,
we're gonna need a little help
from someone on the inside.
Yeah! I am the dusk.
Five.
Five!
Mission for me, sir? Is it dangerous?
Does the fate of the world depend on it?
Think you've been dipping
a little too hard into the stealth titles.
I just need you to mind the register
while B.I.T.T. and I inventory
this shipment of repair parts.
How about intel?
I'm great with intel.
Yeah, you're welcome
to keep it top secret from Bergy.
Okay, this is looking good.
He's an undercover agent.
Me_K.O.
Me_K.O. Me_K.O.
Transmission received, Miko.
- Why do you sound so whispery?
- I'm in stealth mode.
Perfect. I need your help with something.
But you can't tell anyone.
Like a top-secret stealth mission?
Like a top-secret
stealth mission?
I need you to get the key card
to the Tech training simulator.
But only Phil has that key card.
- Hey, you wanted a mission.
- Mission accepted.
This message will now self-destruct.
Please be okay. Please be okay.
Who knows what really happens
when a video game starts to glitch?
Here for a return? Right this way.
- Follow me, and don't let anyone see you.
- Okay.
I am a shadow on the wind.
Stealth mode!
Did I hear loose change?
- Hey, Five!
- Aah!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Bergy.
I didn't mean to do that.
- Do what?
- Right. You saw nothing.
- What's going on?
- I saw nothing!
Hey! Clean up this mess,
or I'm not paying you.
Wow.
You got down here fast.
I thought for sure I'd be the first--
You've been followed!
No memory wiping my sister.
- Your sister?
- I should explain.
My sister knows our secret identity
and wants to be OP in kiddie karate,
so I promised to help her train to win
a trophy using Glitch Techy powers.
There, I explained.
Hi.
It would probably be easier on all of us
if just I pretended
to understand any of that.
It would indeed. Thank you.
Okay, so, what game program
did you want to use for karate training?
I was thinking of Karate Trainer.
Yeah, that'd probably do it.
Let me see here. Calling up
the non-glitched game files,
looking for Karate Trainer...
One...Two... Three...
There's a fourth installment.
Now loading game file.
That's it?
Where's the techy magic?
We could have just played this
in somebody's dingy basement.
Karate Trainer 4!
Welcome, player one.
Choose your training belt.
You're darn right, ""
Soak it up, sister!
Big sis is busting out
some serious next-gen up in here!
- Ready to become a karate master?
- You know it.
Watch the door for us, Five.
Guard duty? I'm on it.
I shall be the eyes
in the front of your head.
Okay, let's belt one out!
Lesson one!
Can't make an omelet
without breaking a few yous.
Chicken style!
What is the point of this?
To defeat a series of foes,
to unlock enough chi power,
to take on the master or something.
But we don't have time for all that.
Just have fun punching stuff.
Fine.
Hey! No fair!
You're over... easy.
Your chicken style is weak, young one.
What are you even doing?
Karate! I start with the ready pose,
find my chi, then do a snap kick.
Player two
has joined the game.
Yeah, no, see,
you're in my dojo now, girl.
My moves are gonna take your game
to the next level!
Stealth mode.
Nothing to see here! Move along!
Did you say something?
I said, nothing to see here!
- See where?
- No, I said...
Hang on! Let me come over there!
Do you have a death wish?
I think you had a bee on you.
That's the logo on my shirt pocket!
Is that my key card?
You, must've dropped it.
K.O.!
Never underestimate the chicken style.
This is not karate.
I thought you were gonna help me
win that tournament tonight.
Hey! If you wanna beat Nancy McGillicutty
and take home that trophy,
you're gonna need more than a snap kick.
Lesson two!
Toad style!
All right, Lex, just do what I do,
and you'll be fine.
This is ridiculous!
Hey, guys. How's training going?
You love tutorials, right?
I think she needs some basics.
Zen gaming is about becoming
one with the combo.
Relying upon repetition and muscle memory.
Okay, that's kinda like karate.
That's what I've been saying
the whole time!
Now come on. Follow my lead, like so.
Hop, hop.
Ribbit, ribbit.
Lower kick, upper punch, spin.
- Do I really have to say "ribbit"?
- Yes, that's essential.
Ribbit, rib-rib-ribbit,
ribbit, ribbit...
- Hey, not bad.
- Now spiral whirligig crane kick!
Hey! I did it!
Crush him! Five...
Come on, sis!
- ...four...
- Bust out a sweet finishing move!
- ...three...
- A finishing what?
...two...
- Like this!
- ...one!
Toad style combo breaker!
Those moves are unreal!
Exactly.
Lesson three!
Monkey style!
Double fist monkey punch!
Swinging high kick!
Now give them a down up punch!
Duck low, then try a back swing kick
with a forward lunge!
Wait, what?
Counter, Lexi! Counter!
Hands up, Lexi! Hands up!
Forward attack!
Reverse block!
Double punch!
- Crouch dodge!
- Stop!
What now?
How am I supposed to focus
with both of you yelling at me?
It's Mom and Dad.
They're on their way to the tournament.
Now I'm out of time,
and I'm still terrible at karate.
Thanks for nothing, Miko.
So I guess this whole mission
kind of broke the fail scale?
Thanks for trying to help.
I should probably go after her.
B.I.T.T., what can I do for you?
Alert! This training room
is now due for repairs.
Repairs?
Please shut down all active programs.
Shutdown incomplete.
Player one belt is still active.
But Lexi was player one.
New stealth mission.
Lexi Kubota, you're up in five.
Sweep the leg, honey!
Did you come to fight Nancy for me?
No. Do you want me to?
No!
Look, if you're worried
about the deal we made, don't.
I won't tell your secret.
I'm not worried.
Sorry I gave you
such major aggro back there.
You don't need that stress.
I just got a little carried away
'cause you asked me for help
and I really wanted
to come through for you.
You did?
Sure, dude. Sibling code.
Thanks.
And now, for the silver trophy,
Kubota versus McGillicutty!
Ganbatte kudasai, Lexi.
Hello, Nancy.
Good luck and may you emerge uninjured.
Begin!
Point, McGillicutty!
Sides!
Hey, Five.
How'd you know it was me?
Anyway, Lexi may be in trouble.
No kidding.
That Nancy is a real junior ninja.
No, she's still wearing the training belt!
What?
Shouldn't it have de-rezzed
when we shut off the training room?
It wouldn't shut off!
- That's it, honey!
- Come on, Lex!
Round two, begin!
Point!
McGillicutty is the winner!
That was a great effort, honey.
And you said you weren't any good.
You gave it your best.
How about we all go get
a frosty freezie freeze?
I didn't win the trophy.
I, think Lex just needs
to say her goodbyes.
Meet you guys later?
Okay. Mwah!
I'm giving up stupid karate.
Lex, you said you loved karate.
Maybe you should stop worrying
about winning trophies
and just enjoy what you love about it.
At least this belt
didn't give you any trouble.
We should get it back to the training room
before anything bad happens.
Like being humiliated
in front of everyone?
Too late.
Here, take your glitchy old belt.
Wait, don't!
Lex, take that belt off!
Final lesson!
The master!
Student, defeat master.
Monkey, chicken...
Wait. Shouldn't he also have toad parts?
There it is.
Okay, guys, you can turn off
your magicky techy stuff now.
Working on it, sis.
- Ready, Five?
- Let's straight-up tank this fool!
- Aah!
- Not good!
If we can't de-rez him,
we can at least try to delay him.
Got you now!
Miko, what is he doing? Is he giving up?
Whatever it is, it's not good.
Lexi, take cover!
Miko!
Student, defeat master.
Student, defeat master.
This is not your fight.
This is my fight.
I can do this!
I have to!
Get away from them, you glitch!
Lexi, get out of here!
Sorry, sis.
That's against the sibling code.
I told you never underestimate
chicken style!
Your karate is weak!
I assure you, chicken man,
this is not karate!
- Yeah!
- Yeah! My baby sister's first combo move!
Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit!
Stand down, stealth ops.
My sister's got this.
Finishing combo!
- Crush him! Five...
- Do it, Lex!
...four...
three... two...
K.O.!
Trophy unlocked.
Perfect Combo.
That was awesome, Lex!
And you even got a trophy after all.
Too bad it's virtual.
Aw.
Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
Lexi?
I've got some new class brochures
for you to look at--
Mom, I'm sorry I didn't
tell you this before, but...
I don't want to quit karate.
I might still get frustrated,
but I love it.
And that's just going
to have to be enough for me.
Well, okay then.
Here, I brought you both some popcorn.
You too, Five.
Aw, how'd she know it was me?
How about a new game?
Like you gotta ask?
Bring on that sweet techy magic, kid!