Glitch Techs (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Going, Going, Gauntlet! - full transcript
Mama, drop a triple mushroom
on this beast!
I gotta get to work!
Chill out, Miko.
Your lame little job isn't going anywhere.
Lame? My job is awesome in ways
incomprehensible to your muggle mind.
Name one awesome thing about it.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
- Miko?
Well, you can think
that's what you thought...
- Miko!
- ...but if you really knew,
I'd have to delete your brain!
I may have already said too much.
Miko! We're here.
Why didn't you tell me?
Miko, listen to me.
If you really want to keep this job,
or any job,
you must try to focus for once, okay?
Hey, I can focus.
I made you some brain food for lunch.
Mung beans and seaweed.
Thinks I can't focus?
I'm so focused, glasses need me.
Miko!
Just focus.
There you go, kid.
One used copy of Flunky Quest.
Yes! Time to catch some flunkies!
You have selected Ginko!
Let's go!
Let's see how focused you think I am
when I'm saving you
from giant glitch monsters!
I'm sorry!
No, me! I'm the sorry one.
What have I done?
Come on, dude, don't be broken. Restart!
Restart! Restart! Don't give up on me!
Is it okay?
- Yeah, think I'm good.
- Game on, sister.
Okay. Focus.
Flunky detected.
- Catch it.
- Yeah, got ya now.
What the...
It's... it's a Ginko!
Aah!
Flunky detected.
Who knows what really happens
when a video game starts to glitch.
Okay, Miko. You got this.
What's up, Miko? Happy first day of--
Five! Hey, buddy.
My partner, my loyal party companion!
Can't breathe...
Sorry.
Mom packs a healthy but potent lunch.
- Well, that's nice that your mom--
- First patrol!
You ready to crush this day
with a triple-S-flawless victory?
Fo sho!
You believe in me.
All right, break up
the team huddle, you two.
We've got some tech that needs support.
Today is your first official patrol
as level-one Techs,
so what does that mean, you ask?
Great question.
You partner up,
locate glitches in your assigned area,
debug 'em, reset any damage
and mind-wipe
whatever stooges witness the disturbance.
Now, every glitch you bag
grants you experience points.
The more XP you earn,
the more Tech levels you gain,
unlocking achievements, loot, upgrades...
Like an RPG!
Like an RPG.
We can get real rocket boots?
Dude, blazing gemsword!
Both requiring Tech level two,
which is currently 10,000 XP
out of your reach.
Just show me how to grind!
Please allow me to assign you
with your tier-one Glitch Tech gauntlets!
Ho-ho, ding!
Hype-hype!
Hello, my beautiful.
Today is the first day
of the rest of our lives!
An invasion of evil alien spaceships?
Not on my watch.
Miko, that took so much focus.
I never realized how awesome you were.
I'm so ashamed.
You should be, Mom. You should be.
Hey, just remember, those gauntlets
are your tools, not your toys.
You lose 'em, we lose you. Ya got it?
Sir, yes, sir. Phil, Mr. Boss, sir!
- BITT, just get 'em a vehicle, will ya?
- There's a vehicle?
Autopilot engaged.
Activating portal gate.
Nice!
The following signatures
have been added to your patrol map.
Please select a target.
Very open-world sandbox.
This lad looks promising--
Warning, the selected
glitch exceeds your skill level.
We can take that one on
once we've finished
leveling up our butt-kicking skills.
Let's go wreck some fools!
Engaging target.
Destroy the interloper!
- Whoo-hoo!
- Yeah!
We are crushing it. Literally!
Did we level?
Not yet.
What's a Tech gotta do
to get a little XP bump around--
Hello. What do we have here?
Weird, no stats on this one.
We should probably call it in.
- How much XP is it worth?
- Enough for us to level up and more!
Let's bag us a bird.
Did it just teleport?
Don't waggle your tuchus at me!
Stay focused. Don't let it--
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!
You're mine, turkey!
Shields up!
No.
Good birdie.
Okay, you have proven
a clever and worthy foe
with talents beyond my paltry skill level.
So if you'll just give me back
my brand-new gauntlet,
my partner and I will get you!
No!
Ma... Mama?
Don't look so disappointed, honey.
Winning galactic wars
takes focus, discipline
and not losing your gauntlet.
To the mung bean fields with her! Caw!
No!
No!
Miko! C'mon, snap out of it.
Aah! No, Mama, I can change!
That glitch just took your gauntlet!
I know. I know. And it's fine, though!
You know why it's fine?
Because this gives me focus.
Yeah, calm, cool focus.
The kind that gets gauntlets back
from deranged chicken glitches,
keeps people from
losing their awesome jobs
and keeps their mothers from
banishing them to the mung bean fields.
No reason to freak out,
so stop freaking out, Five!
I kinda feel
like you're the one who's--
Okay, yeah, I'm cool. I'm cool.
Look! An obvious trail!
The taunty little toucan
wants us to chase it!
Look, I wanna level up
as much as you do, Miko,
but this is our first day!
That bird teleports, breathes fire,
and who knows what else?
Five, it's a glitch.
Game code, acting out a pattern.
All we need is a little gamer logic
and a plan, right?
And you love plans.
I do love plans.
But if the plan tanks
and that thing goes all aggro on us again,
we retreat and call for backup, deal?
- Deal, baby seal!
- "Baby seal"?
Figure of speech I made up!
I'll workshop it! Let's go!
Okay, we still don't have
the stats for the bird,
but I cross-referenced
other known glitches that can teleport.
Crossing the references. Brilliant.
It says here if a porter
is physically restrained
by a creature who can't teleport,
it prevents them from using the ability.
So grab it,
and it can't poof out on us again.
Yeah. Grab it, basically.
Genius.
All right, chickadork, here we go!
All outta poof juice?
It's called research, glitch!
Don't worry. I got this!
Almost got it.
Give up the gauntlet, Tweety!
Aah!
Nerds.
It's using the gauntlet beams?
That means this thing gets
all the powers from whatever it eats!
Miko!
It takes the power from whatever it eats!
Neat fun fact.
What's your take on
whether it has a gag reflex?
I guess it'd require
something super disgusting...
The lunch!
Not cool!
All right, bird brain,
time to eat your vegetables!
Open wide!
Did it work?
Yup, that's one heck of a radiant yes.
The precious!
And guest.
Wow. I think it's saying
thank you!
Ew, dude! You just vommed!
Birdie wasn't
a fire-breather at all.
It just had glitchy heartburn
from this little dude it ate.
Getting a clear reading now.
That bird is a friendly NPC
from a game called Bravestone XII.
You weren't an enemy.
You were just a big, feathery ally
with a tummy ache!
It reads as level one now.
Apparently, it only read as higher before
because it had gobbled up
something apparently much worse.
Watch out, Ally!
Who's Ally?
I just named the bird!
Holy smokes!
Flunky detected!
Okay, I think it's safe to say things
have escalated above our difficulty level.
I know.
And if I'd kept it together
and let you call for backup,
we wouldn't be in this mess now.
My mom is right. I can't focus.
I'm a total fail fish who couldn't even
make it through her first day at work
without an epic disaster!
Hey, Miko, that's not true--
Heh.
Incoming call from...
Your boss.
It's Phil. I have to tell him.
I know.
I'll take full responsibility for this.
No point in both of us losing our jobs.
Just a quick heads-up.
We're showing a major glitch pattern
in your area right now.
Where's your partner?
We're not getting
a signal on her gauntlet.
That's weird, 'cause she's fine.
We're both fine.
We are crushing it out here!
And totally not in danger of anything
crushing us.
Yeah. Just, get her back online
and come to HQ to turn in your XP.
Okay. Bye!
Why didn't you tell him?
Look, you didn't drag me into this.
We got into it together.
So let's just get out of it.
New deal, baby seal?
Need to breathe. Always to breathe.
Sorry, partner. So, what's the plan?
You said it before.
They're just glitches, right?
Game codes, acting out patterns.
Right!
With his pattern,
he exposes some kind of power gem
on his back with every third step.
So if we break it, we break him.
Gamer logic!
Okay, look, he's a higher level,
so the trick would be doing max DPS
with a close and powerful shot.
I know I haven't made
the best choices today,
but if Ally helps me get close,
I think I could--
I think you could, too.
You'd trust me with your gauntlet?
Even after--
You're not a fail fish, Miko.
You can focus when it counts.
So make it count.
Hey! Down here!
I picked up this little maneuver
from a taunty glitch bird!
One step. Two steps.
Aah!
Wreck that fool!
Not good!
Hi-yah!
Get us right up
on that gem, Ally!
Yeah, yeah, yeah! That's it!
Come at me, bro!
Nerds! You're really scary!
One step.
Two steps.
Hold on, Miko!
Miko!
I love this face!
Now let's dive-bomb that flunky!
That was amazing!
You're the greatest bird
that's ever lived!
Actually, I don't know
if you're technically alive,
and thinking about that
makes me feel kind of weird,
but, anyway, you're amazing!
No time to lose focus, partner!
We still have an entire city block
of stooges to mind-wipe!
Mr. Boss, sir,
I have failed my station to epic degree,
and I humbly await the consequences.
What are you doing?
- You said if we--
- I said don't lose it.
I didn't say
you couldn't bang it up a little.
Happens all the time.
So, I'm still a Glitch Tech?
Yeah.
- Yeah!
- Yes!
Okay, then, let's just count up the XP.
Welcome back, Techs!
Please insert your gauntlets
into the main repository
to offload all glitches and claim your XP!
You have exceeded your XP goal
and achieved Tech level two!
Noobs.
You may now preview
potential power upgrades.
Ha ha! Sparkly hack and slash!
Rocket boots...
Surprisingly difficult!
Yeah, you could purchase those items
with your individual XP points,
or pool 'em together
to purchase unique loot,
like... I don't know...
a companion pet.
A companion pet?
Yeah. You know, like the unauthorized one
you tried to hide in your Tech van?
Yeah. Didn't have the heart to zap her
after all we'd been through.
So, we can keep her?
Well, if you want
to pool your points together...
Let's do it!
I'm not sure boots were meant
to have rockets on them, anyways.
Aw, thanks.
Now combining XP.
Companion pet acquired.
Yeah!
Well, you both did great today.
Good first patrol.
Right up until this hug.
- Miko?
- Mama?
- I brought you a snack.
- Thank you.
I know you came home late today.
I'm proud you're working so hard.
What was that?
You've got a video game
under there, don't you?
No fooling you.
Well, enjoy it.
You work hard, you play hard.
Just not too late, now.
Save some for me, ya turkey!
Aw, you...
on this beast!
I gotta get to work!
Chill out, Miko.
Your lame little job isn't going anywhere.
Lame? My job is awesome in ways
incomprehensible to your muggle mind.
Name one awesome thing about it.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
- Miko?
Well, you can think
that's what you thought...
- Miko!
- ...but if you really knew,
I'd have to delete your brain!
I may have already said too much.
Miko! We're here.
Why didn't you tell me?
Miko, listen to me.
If you really want to keep this job,
or any job,
you must try to focus for once, okay?
Hey, I can focus.
I made you some brain food for lunch.
Mung beans and seaweed.
Thinks I can't focus?
I'm so focused, glasses need me.
Miko!
Just focus.
There you go, kid.
One used copy of Flunky Quest.
Yes! Time to catch some flunkies!
You have selected Ginko!
Let's go!
Let's see how focused you think I am
when I'm saving you
from giant glitch monsters!
I'm sorry!
No, me! I'm the sorry one.
What have I done?
Come on, dude, don't be broken. Restart!
Restart! Restart! Don't give up on me!
Is it okay?
- Yeah, think I'm good.
- Game on, sister.
Okay. Focus.
Flunky detected.
- Catch it.
- Yeah, got ya now.
What the...
It's... it's a Ginko!
Aah!
Flunky detected.
Who knows what really happens
when a video game starts to glitch.
Okay, Miko. You got this.
What's up, Miko? Happy first day of--
Five! Hey, buddy.
My partner, my loyal party companion!
Can't breathe...
Sorry.
Mom packs a healthy but potent lunch.
- Well, that's nice that your mom--
- First patrol!
You ready to crush this day
with a triple-S-flawless victory?
Fo sho!
You believe in me.
All right, break up
the team huddle, you two.
We've got some tech that needs support.
Today is your first official patrol
as level-one Techs,
so what does that mean, you ask?
Great question.
You partner up,
locate glitches in your assigned area,
debug 'em, reset any damage
and mind-wipe
whatever stooges witness the disturbance.
Now, every glitch you bag
grants you experience points.
The more XP you earn,
the more Tech levels you gain,
unlocking achievements, loot, upgrades...
Like an RPG!
Like an RPG.
We can get real rocket boots?
Dude, blazing gemsword!
Both requiring Tech level two,
which is currently 10,000 XP
out of your reach.
Just show me how to grind!
Please allow me to assign you
with your tier-one Glitch Tech gauntlets!
Ho-ho, ding!
Hype-hype!
Hello, my beautiful.
Today is the first day
of the rest of our lives!
An invasion of evil alien spaceships?
Not on my watch.
Miko, that took so much focus.
I never realized how awesome you were.
I'm so ashamed.
You should be, Mom. You should be.
Hey, just remember, those gauntlets
are your tools, not your toys.
You lose 'em, we lose you. Ya got it?
Sir, yes, sir. Phil, Mr. Boss, sir!
- BITT, just get 'em a vehicle, will ya?
- There's a vehicle?
Autopilot engaged.
Activating portal gate.
Nice!
The following signatures
have been added to your patrol map.
Please select a target.
Very open-world sandbox.
This lad looks promising--
Warning, the selected
glitch exceeds your skill level.
We can take that one on
once we've finished
leveling up our butt-kicking skills.
Let's go wreck some fools!
Engaging target.
Destroy the interloper!
- Whoo-hoo!
- Yeah!
We are crushing it. Literally!
Did we level?
Not yet.
What's a Tech gotta do
to get a little XP bump around--
Hello. What do we have here?
Weird, no stats on this one.
We should probably call it in.
- How much XP is it worth?
- Enough for us to level up and more!
Let's bag us a bird.
Did it just teleport?
Don't waggle your tuchus at me!
Stay focused. Don't let it--
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!
You're mine, turkey!
Shields up!
No.
Good birdie.
Okay, you have proven
a clever and worthy foe
with talents beyond my paltry skill level.
So if you'll just give me back
my brand-new gauntlet,
my partner and I will get you!
No!
Ma... Mama?
Don't look so disappointed, honey.
Winning galactic wars
takes focus, discipline
and not losing your gauntlet.
To the mung bean fields with her! Caw!
No!
No!
Miko! C'mon, snap out of it.
Aah! No, Mama, I can change!
That glitch just took your gauntlet!
I know. I know. And it's fine, though!
You know why it's fine?
Because this gives me focus.
Yeah, calm, cool focus.
The kind that gets gauntlets back
from deranged chicken glitches,
keeps people from
losing their awesome jobs
and keeps their mothers from
banishing them to the mung bean fields.
No reason to freak out,
so stop freaking out, Five!
I kinda feel
like you're the one who's--
Okay, yeah, I'm cool. I'm cool.
Look! An obvious trail!
The taunty little toucan
wants us to chase it!
Look, I wanna level up
as much as you do, Miko,
but this is our first day!
That bird teleports, breathes fire,
and who knows what else?
Five, it's a glitch.
Game code, acting out a pattern.
All we need is a little gamer logic
and a plan, right?
And you love plans.
I do love plans.
But if the plan tanks
and that thing goes all aggro on us again,
we retreat and call for backup, deal?
- Deal, baby seal!
- "Baby seal"?
Figure of speech I made up!
I'll workshop it! Let's go!
Okay, we still don't have
the stats for the bird,
but I cross-referenced
other known glitches that can teleport.
Crossing the references. Brilliant.
It says here if a porter
is physically restrained
by a creature who can't teleport,
it prevents them from using the ability.
So grab it,
and it can't poof out on us again.
Yeah. Grab it, basically.
Genius.
All right, chickadork, here we go!
All outta poof juice?
It's called research, glitch!
Don't worry. I got this!
Almost got it.
Give up the gauntlet, Tweety!
Aah!
Nerds.
It's using the gauntlet beams?
That means this thing gets
all the powers from whatever it eats!
Miko!
It takes the power from whatever it eats!
Neat fun fact.
What's your take on
whether it has a gag reflex?
I guess it'd require
something super disgusting...
The lunch!
Not cool!
All right, bird brain,
time to eat your vegetables!
Open wide!
Did it work?
Yup, that's one heck of a radiant yes.
The precious!
And guest.
Wow. I think it's saying
thank you!
Ew, dude! You just vommed!
Birdie wasn't
a fire-breather at all.
It just had glitchy heartburn
from this little dude it ate.
Getting a clear reading now.
That bird is a friendly NPC
from a game called Bravestone XII.
You weren't an enemy.
You were just a big, feathery ally
with a tummy ache!
It reads as level one now.
Apparently, it only read as higher before
because it had gobbled up
something apparently much worse.
Watch out, Ally!
Who's Ally?
I just named the bird!
Holy smokes!
Flunky detected!
Okay, I think it's safe to say things
have escalated above our difficulty level.
I know.
And if I'd kept it together
and let you call for backup,
we wouldn't be in this mess now.
My mom is right. I can't focus.
I'm a total fail fish who couldn't even
make it through her first day at work
without an epic disaster!
Hey, Miko, that's not true--
Heh.
Incoming call from...
Your boss.
It's Phil. I have to tell him.
I know.
I'll take full responsibility for this.
No point in both of us losing our jobs.
Just a quick heads-up.
We're showing a major glitch pattern
in your area right now.
Where's your partner?
We're not getting
a signal on her gauntlet.
That's weird, 'cause she's fine.
We're both fine.
We are crushing it out here!
And totally not in danger of anything
crushing us.
Yeah. Just, get her back online
and come to HQ to turn in your XP.
Okay. Bye!
Why didn't you tell him?
Look, you didn't drag me into this.
We got into it together.
So let's just get out of it.
New deal, baby seal?
Need to breathe. Always to breathe.
Sorry, partner. So, what's the plan?
You said it before.
They're just glitches, right?
Game codes, acting out patterns.
Right!
With his pattern,
he exposes some kind of power gem
on his back with every third step.
So if we break it, we break him.
Gamer logic!
Okay, look, he's a higher level,
so the trick would be doing max DPS
with a close and powerful shot.
I know I haven't made
the best choices today,
but if Ally helps me get close,
I think I could--
I think you could, too.
You'd trust me with your gauntlet?
Even after--
You're not a fail fish, Miko.
You can focus when it counts.
So make it count.
Hey! Down here!
I picked up this little maneuver
from a taunty glitch bird!
One step. Two steps.
Aah!
Wreck that fool!
Not good!
Hi-yah!
Get us right up
on that gem, Ally!
Yeah, yeah, yeah! That's it!
Come at me, bro!
Nerds! You're really scary!
One step.
Two steps.
Hold on, Miko!
Miko!
I love this face!
Now let's dive-bomb that flunky!
That was amazing!
You're the greatest bird
that's ever lived!
Actually, I don't know
if you're technically alive,
and thinking about that
makes me feel kind of weird,
but, anyway, you're amazing!
No time to lose focus, partner!
We still have an entire city block
of stooges to mind-wipe!
Mr. Boss, sir,
I have failed my station to epic degree,
and I humbly await the consequences.
What are you doing?
- You said if we--
- I said don't lose it.
I didn't say
you couldn't bang it up a little.
Happens all the time.
So, I'm still a Glitch Tech?
Yeah.
- Yeah!
- Yes!
Okay, then, let's just count up the XP.
Welcome back, Techs!
Please insert your gauntlets
into the main repository
to offload all glitches and claim your XP!
You have exceeded your XP goal
and achieved Tech level two!
Noobs.
You may now preview
potential power upgrades.
Ha ha! Sparkly hack and slash!
Rocket boots...
Surprisingly difficult!
Yeah, you could purchase those items
with your individual XP points,
or pool 'em together
to purchase unique loot,
like... I don't know...
a companion pet.
A companion pet?
Yeah. You know, like the unauthorized one
you tried to hide in your Tech van?
Yeah. Didn't have the heart to zap her
after all we'd been through.
So, we can keep her?
Well, if you want
to pool your points together...
Let's do it!
I'm not sure boots were meant
to have rockets on them, anyways.
Aw, thanks.
Now combining XP.
Companion pet acquired.
Yeah!
Well, you both did great today.
Good first patrol.
Right up until this hug.
- Miko?
- Mama?
- I brought you a snack.
- Thank you.
I know you came home late today.
I'm proud you're working so hard.
What was that?
You've got a video game
under there, don't you?
No fooling you.
Well, enjoy it.
You work hard, you play hard.
Just not too late, now.
Save some for me, ya turkey!
Aw, you...