Glee (2009–2015): Season 5, Episode 10 - Trio - full transcript

Sam, Blaine and Tina want to enjoy their last moments together in High School. Kurt has problems with the band because of Rachel and Santana's fight. Will and Emma try to get pregnant.

So here's what
you missed on Glee:

Rachel and Santana
are on the outs

because Santana
landed a job in Funny Girl

as Rachel's understudy,
even though Santana's Latin

and Fanny Brice
is clearly Jewish.

You and I have
never been friends.

Never have and never will be.

Nationals is fast approaching
and graduation's in two weeks.

- My fellow graduates.
- God, this can't be happening.

But not everyone knows what

they're going to do
once they graduate,

because New Directions!
Seem to plan their lives

like they plan
their set lists...

they pretty much figure it out
the night before.

I'm not ready to make
a decision yet.


And that's what
you missed on Glee.

They were encouraged to take the
shortcut by Lanford Hastings,

who had never
taken the journey with wagons.

This required them to traverse

through Utah's
Wasatch Mountains...

Will, it's time.
We have to do it right now.

Winter came and the Donner Party
got trapped in the mountains

and they ate each other...
everybody discuss.

What's up, buddy? How you doing?
All right, cool.

Oh, my goodness.

Yes. This is happening.

Oh, Will.


What's going on in there?

- Oh, my God.
- Oh.

Oh, ooh.

I am disturbed on every level.

And Becky has been
scarred for life.

Sue, I'm mortified.

We are so, so...

I am aware that the pheromones
emitted from the orifices

of your porous, bird-lady pelvis

can cause an overwhelming urge

to copulate in some emotionally
stunted man-children,

with butt-chins, who befriend
teenagers and can't rap.

But why could you not wait
to copulate until you returned

to the sickly-sweet stench
of your own conjugal bed?

I'm... well, Sue, uh...

Will and I are trying
to conceive a child...

Oh, God, why?

And-and there are
certain windows of time

where fertilization
is most likely.

See, we-we finally
feel like we have

some financial security;
I'm 37...

Yes, and I'm-I'm...
I'm of a similar age range,

and after the age of 35,

you know, the chances of birth
defects increase dramatically.

There's, um,
fragile X chromosome,

there's Down syndrome...

- What's wrong with Down syndrome?
- What's wrong with Down syndrome?

- N-No... nothing. There's... That's...
- No. N... No, Sue...

Look, Sue, we are so sorry.

This is not gonna happen
again, I promise.

Well, hopefully it won't have
to, if I hurry up right now

and lie down on the floor in my
office and put my feet up on a chair,

because we were able to achieve
a successful emission.

Okay, get the hell
out of my office.

Please. Thanks.

Oh, didn't need to know that.

Didn't need to know that.

♪ Ladies, leave yo man at home ♪

♪ The club is full of ballers
and their pockets full grown ♪

♪ And all you fellas leave
your girl with her friends ♪

♪ 'Cause it's 11:30 and the club
is jumpin', jumpin' ♪

♪ So you say you've
got a girl? ♪

♪ Yes, do you got a man? ♪

♪ But the party ain't gon'
stop, so let's make it hot hot ♪

♪ Last weekend you stayed
at home alone and lonely ♪

♪ Couldn't find your man, he was
chillin' with his homies ♪

♪ This weekend you goin' out ♪

♪ If he try to stop you,
you goin' off ♪

♪ You gotcha hair done
and your nails done, too ♪

♪ And your outfit
and your Fendi shoes ♪

♪ You parlaying
at the hottest spot tonight ♪

♪ You're gonna find
the brothas rollin' ♪

♪ In the Lexus,
trucks and Hummers ♪

♪ So you say you've got a girl?
Yes, do you got a man? ♪

♪ But the party ain't gon'
stop, so let's make it hot hot ♪

♪ Ladies, leave yo man at home ♪

♪ The club is full of ballers
and their pockets full grown ♪

♪ And all you fellas leave
yo girl with her friends ♪

♪ 'Cause it's 11:30 and the club
is jumpin', jumpin' ♪

♪ Ladies, leave yo man at home ♪

♪ The club is full of ballers
and their pockets full grown ♪

♪ And all you fellas leave
yo girl with her friends ♪

♪ 'Cause it's 11:30 and the club
is jumpin', jumpin' ♪

♪ Sexy women do your dance,
fly ladies work your man ♪

♪ All them fellas in the club
who can get down now? ♪

♪ Bounce, baby, bounce,
b-bounce, work it, work it ♪

♪ Shake, baby, shake sh-shake,
sh-shake, work it, work it ♪

♪ Twist, baby, twist, t-twist,
You better dip that thang ♪

♪ I'm gonna dip that thang ♪

♪ Bounce, baby, bounce,
b-bounce, work it, work it ♪

♪ Shake, baby, shake sh-shake,
sh-shake, work it, work it ♪

♪ Twist, baby, twist, t-twist,
you better dip that thang ♪

♪ Dip that thang ♪

♪ So you say you've got a girl?
Yes, do you got a man? ♪

♪ But the party ain't gon'
stop, so lets make it hot hot ♪

♪ Ladies, leave yo man at home ♪

♪ The club is full of ballers
and their pockets full grown ♪

♪ And all you fellas leave
yo girl with her friends ♪

♪ 'Cause it's 11:30 and the club
is jumpin', jumpin' ♪

♪ Boom. Oh! Nice. ♪

Doin' it for the people.

You guys, that was
amazing, but, um,

I'm not sure it's
right for Nationals.

Yes, 'cause Unique will not
be standing in the back swaying

while you guys go all
Three-yoncé in the spotlight.

Why does everything you say
have to sound like that?

We know it's not right
for Nationals, we just wanted

to do it for fun. Yeah, we were talking
and we realized that we'd never

actually done a number together.
No, and as seniors we...

realized we were running
out of time and we wanted

to feel the power of a trio.

Which, I learned
in my senior math class,

is about 25% less powerful
than a quartet.

Well, I'm really glad
that you guys did that.

You probably don't realize this,
but these are friendships

that you're gonna cherish
for the rest of your lives.

And you've got to squeeze in
as many experiences as you can

because, for you seniors,

you're all gonna be going
your separate ways very soon.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no... Tina,
don't, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. Stop, don't...
you don't have to cry,

No. No!
You don't have to cry.

It's okay. We're here.
We're here for you.

Tina. Guys.

You okay? Huh?

No, you had your turn.


I'm gonna miss you guys.
That's okay.

Okay. So I want to start
at the overture,

and then I want to do the
entire show from top to bottom.

Maybe two or three times.

Oh, my God, Elliot, hi.
Come on in.

Sorry, uh, when you said

you were gonna be
rehearsing on your day off,

I assumed it would just be you,
running scales.

Well, you know.
Since I have Gina Gershon, Jr.

Nipping at my heels here, I had
to have Rupert, my director,

ask Sidney, my producer,

if I could have a
full band on retainer

at all times, so I
could sing full voice,

just to keep my
instrument really sharp.

Wow, you have your own band.
That's impressive.

Oh, yeah, you can borrow
them anytime you want.


Um, in the meanwhile,

I got your rehearsal clothes

Green tea with honey and lemon,

and I got you your
very own key to my apartment.


Seriously, what would
I have done

if you'd have turned
me away at your door?

I was like some heroine from
a lost Tennessee Williams play.


They kicked me out.

- Hmm?
- I had nowhere else to go.

Uh... Ooh.

Then it was
so chivalrous of you

when you made up
your couch for me.

But then gave me your bed,
instead, when I explained

that after last week's
traumatic events, the only way

I could recover
is by sleeping in a real bed

and not some lumpy surrogate.

So you're sure you're okay with me
living with you, like, indefinitely?

Yeah, it's cool.
I mean, like I said,

my rent is so high,

and I've been looking
for a roommate,

And now you have one.

And I have a new best gay.

Yeah, yeah.

I kind of hate that term.
It makes me feel like a pet.

What do you mean?
It's so funny.

You have done more for me
in the past 24 hours

than that traitor Kurt Hummel
has since graduation.

I was just gonna sing the entire Funny
Girl score. Do you want to watch?

Uh, mm... Oh, please, it'll
be so fun... you can sing

all the chorus parts, if you want.

And I do want to sing with you,

but how about something
a little more rock and roll?

I was gonna suggest this
for Pamela Lansbury,

but maybe you and I
should give it a try.

I think this is the beginning
of a beautiful,

beautiful friendship.

Hit it.

♪ So this ain't the end,
I saw you again ♪

♪ Today... I had to
turn my heart away ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ You smiled like the sun ♪

♪ Kisses for everyone ♪

♪ And tales, it never fails ♪

♪ All right ♪

♪ You lying so low
in the weeds ♪

♪ Yeah, bet you wanna
ambush me ♪

♪ You'd have me
down, down, down ♪

♪ On my knees ♪

♪ Now, wouldn't you? ♪

♪ Barracuda ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪ Oh! ♪

♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh! ♪

♪ Back over time,
we were all trying ♪

♪ For free ♪

♪ You met the porpoise and me ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ No right, no wrong,
you're selling a song ♪

♪ A name ♪

♪ Whisper game ♪

♪ And if the real thing
don't do the trick ♪

♪ You better make up
something quick ♪

♪ You gonna burn ♪

♪ Burn, burn, burn ♪

♪ Burn it to the wick ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Barra-Barracuda ♪
♪ Barra-Barracuda ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah! ♪

♪ Ooh, no, no ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Come on, yeah ♪ Oh ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Come on, barracuda ♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪ Barracuda ♪

♪ Barracuda. ♪

All right.

We have to try them on
to see if they fit.

Small, medium, large, it's not that
complicated, okay? I'm sure they all fit.

Well, we should just try them on
to see what they look like.

Holy crap, I can't believe
this is actually happening.

Hey, guys. What's...?

Tina... Oh, no, no, ,no
No, please d...

No, no, Tina, Tina, no, no.

I know this is hard for you,
but come on, please.

No, don't... don't cry.
Try not to cry.

I'm not ready to say
good-bye to you guys yet.

Well, it's not good-bye.

They call graduation

because it's not the end of
something, it's the beginning.

You say that
so we'll go willingly.

Sam, you and Mike
were so close.

Puck, too. When was the last
time you talked to them?

I-I don't know.

I can't remember.

Rachel and I haven't spoken
on the phone in months.

And yes, I know we all
love each other,

but the fact is the glue that
holds high school friendships

together is high school.

Being around each other every day,
seeing each other in the halls.

Whenever something is up,
we don't have to do any work

to talk to our friends about it,
they're right there.

As soon as it takes effort,
we get lazy

and then we forget
and then we just move on.

I don't want to fade away.

But it doesn't have to
go down like that, though.

Like, my dad's best friends are
still his high school buddies.

And they can go, like, a year
without talking to each other

and they get together
and they don't miss a beat.

Yeah, and with Facebook
and e-mail and blogs and stuff

it's much easier
to stay in touch.

Look... here,
I'll make you a deal.

I promise that,
for the rest of our lives,

I will send one Vine of me doing
an impression every week,

And then you can send me one

of you soaping up your boobs.



Three years together,

and he finally notices my boobs?


We are all going

to be friends for life.
I promise.

And we still have some
high school left, right?

You know what we need to do?

We need to say
good-bye to this place

with some heroism
and some drama.

We got to do something so epic

that in 30 years time,

we can just call each other up
and reminisce about it.

I know, let's sneak a cow
into school.

I was thinking
more like an overnight lock-in.

I'll talk
to the student council,

and I'll get them to approve it.

- Sounds dangerous. I'm in.
- Yes! Me, too.

- Three-way show circle?

Get in there.

A... mazing!

I just did the pregnancy stick.


It came up negative.

Oh, Em.


Hey, hey, hey, hey.

There's no reason to panic.

I mean, it takes
15-20% of couples

a full year to get pregnant.

I know.

Look, just in case, I went ahead
and made an appointment

at the fertility doctor
on the 15th.

And we'll-we'll go,
we'll take a personal day,

and we'll both go in together.

I promise you,
we'll figure this out.

Uh, I'm-I'm sorry.

Excuse me.

Oh, Will, I'm real sorry.

Oh, I don't mean to intrude,
William, but, uh,

far be it from me to tell you

how to inseminate a
frail, neurotic woman

that I hate, but it occurs
to me, you might want to try

to relax your already
mentally fragile ape-wife

instead of making her cervix

snap shut like a barnacle

by bombarding her with a
barrage of pregnancy statistics.

Sue's got a point there, hon.

Oh, stop agreeing with me.

You don't know what
you're talking about.

The only thing
I can see you giving birth to

is a bushel of russet potatoes.

You know, when Michael
Bolton impregnated me,

he called in a favor from his
old friend Kenny G, who stood

at the foot of our bed
and serenaded us on soprano sax

as Michael used every
inch of his enormous,

silky-smooth vocal range

to soothe me into a state
of relaxation so deep,

it could only be described
as religious.

I'm serious, Will.

I was looser than a
Reno slot machine.

Punkin', it don't matter

if you got a
she-goat in heat.

You still gotta calm
her down before you

knock her up.

That's a saying
where I come from.

And where do you come from?

It seems like a dude ranch

on a nuclear waste site.

What I mean is,

if you're ready to get pregnant,

you gotta make it real natural.

It'll take the pressure
off of both of yous.

If you and Emma are
ready to start trying,

you got to stop trying.

Attention McKinley students.
I have just

been informed that the
McKinley High Student Council

has voted to approve the
First Annual Senior Lock-In

this weekend.

And I regret to inform you

that I'm cancelling this event,

due to budget cuts,
safety concerns,

and... oh, I don't know...

let's say Obamacare.

Oh, Tina... oh, my gosh,
are you okay?

The lock-in was cancelled!

Oh, Tina, why are you

so worried about it? We just
thought of that yesterday.

I know it would have been
our first lock-in, Blaine,

but it would have been
our last lock-in,

Blaine, and now,
we don't have that at all!

Every day that passes
is another day

closer to never
seeing each other ever again!

Okay, okay,
okay, okay, um, uh...

How about this? How about...
how about we, um, have

- our own lock-in? Just
the three of us? - Yeah.

How would we manage that?

Here's what we'll do, okay?

We'll climb in through one
of the choir room windows.

We'll leave one unlocked,

and no one will ever notice.

Yeah, how about it, Tina?
What do you say?

All right.
Let's get you up.

- Let's get you out of here.
- Okay.

Now, Tina, I've been
meaning to ask you.

Are your boobs getting bigger?

Is it possible?

Yes. Yes, they are, Sam.

Thank you.
You're the best.

Lady Hummel, come here.

I need your tiny,
delicate, elfin-like fingers

to help me fasten this weave.


It's Elliott, actually.

And... that's a lot of hair.

I will take that as a compliment.

It's all a part of my master
plan to psyche out Berry

so I can play Fanny Brice.

First comes
some amazing new hair,

then, incredibly sexy
rehearsal clothes,

which she could never pull off,

and then I'm gonna sneak
into the theatre and tack up

yearbook photos of her
from sophomore year,

when she was a chunky little
butterball, just to remind her...

hey, once a fatty,
always a fatty.

God as my witness,
I will break her down.

Oh, girl,
this is so high school.

Okay, life is very high school,

just with bigger stakes,
and if you knew Berry

the way that all of us did,
you would be applauding me.

In the beginning,
it's all sunshine

and giggles and stickers,
and then, the second

that you want the
same thing as her,

a dark cloud comes over
her whiskery little chin.

And she will chew you up

and spit you out,
like a Jewish Hillary Clinton.

You know, I... I'm actually just
here to get her sheet music.

Do you know where she keeps it?
Up her butt.

Seriously. She asked me to come
here and pick it up, and,

you know,
she's moving into my apartment.


Wait. Wh-Wh-What
did you just say?!

How could you do this to me?

You are such a traitor!

Well, A: I hardly know you,

so I'm not really
being a traitor.

And B: she needed a place
to stay, and I needed the money.

You need money?
Well, yeah.

Huh. Well, maybe Auntie Snixx
could help you out with that.

In a world
on the verge of graduation,

one hero stands against evil.

I, the Dark Feather.

Come on. Come on.


Okay, you made this way more
difficult than it needed to be?

Just for the record.


Any excuse
to put on that costume.

Well, it's the last chance
I get to put it on,

unless I'm in some kind
of creepy fetish club.

Shh. Did you guys hear that?
Hear what?

Sound of an epic
senior lock-in about to start?

(Simple Minds' "Don't You


♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Ooh... ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh, oh ♪

♪ Won't you come see about me? ♪

♪ I'll be alone,
dancing, you know it, baby ♪

♪ Tell me your troubles
and doubts ♪

♪ Giving me everything
inside and out and, uh ♪

♪ Love's strange,
so real in the dark ♪

♪ Think of the tender things
that we were working on ♪

♪ Slow change
may pull us apart ♪

♪ When the light gets
into your heart, baby ♪

♪ Don't you forget about me ♪

♪ Don't, don't, don't, don't ♪

♪ Don't you forget about me ♪

♪ As you walk on by ♪

♪ Will you call my name? ♪

♪ As you walk on by ♪

♪ Will you call my name? ♪

♪ When you walk away ♪

♪ La-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la ♪

♪ Come on, call my name ♪

♪ Will you call my name? ♪
La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ Come on, come on,
call my name ♪

♪ La, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ Call my name
♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪

♪ You can call my name ♪
La-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la-la ♪
♪ Yeah ♪

♪ La-la-la-la ♪
♪ You can call my name ♪

♪ La-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ La-la-la-la ♪
♪ Yeah ♪

♪ La-la-la-la ♪

♪ You can call my name ♪

♪ You can call my name. ♪


Your fat asses are mine.

Let's get this party started!

11-hour energies for everybody!

Uh, we don't want
to be rude, but...

I can't hear you, Chang-Chang!

I'm too busy drinkin'

my 11-hour energies!
Oh, yeah, baby!

Don't you think you need
to slow down a little bit

on the energy
drinks there, Becky?

By the way, how did
you even get in here?

I climbed
through the window, fool!

It's time for Twister!

Every time you fall down,
you drink one of these.

Becky, we'll die.

Party in the U.S.A.!

All right, that-that
sounds really fun,

um, but we were thinking

that we would just do
our own thing tonight.

Think again, Gay Blaine!

If you don't play
Twister with me,

I'm calling the cops.

Oh, snap!

What did you do
to the craft room?

Finally cleared it all out.

You know, the only work of art

that belongs in here is the one
we're gonna make together.

Wait, are you setting up
the nursery?

Well, that's bad luck.
We haven't even conceived yet.

You worry too much.

You're just figuring
that out now?

We both worry too much.

My dreams aren't big, Emma.

I don't want to go to the moon
or play third base for the Reds.

I just want to teach art to kids

and have a family
with the girl of my dreams.

The girl of your dreams probably
has a more fertile womb.

Hey, all the doctors said
that everything was fine

for both of us.

We just need to
relax and enjoy this.

We're so afraid of
letting each other down

that-that all there is
in our home is fear.

What baby's going
to want to be born

into that space? Not mine.

I love you so much.

I love you, too.

Then let's just enjoy the fact

that we finally found our one
and only true loves

and see what magical
little spirit wants

to come along and
join us for the ride.

Mind giving me a hand?


♪ People smile and tell me
I'm the lucky one ♪

♪ And we've just begun ♪

♪ Think I'm gonna have a son ♪

♪ He will be like she and me ♪

♪ As free as a dove ♪

♪ Conceived in love ♪

♪ Sun is gonna shine above ♪

♪ Even though
we ain't got money ♪

♪ I'm so in love
with you, honey ♪

♪ And everything ♪

♪ Will bring a chain ♪

♪ Of love... ♪

♪ And in the morning
when I rise ♪

♪ You bring a tear of joy
to my eyes ♪

♪ And tell me ♪

♪ Everything ♪

♪ Is gonna be all right ♪

♪ Pisces, Virgo rising ♪

♪ Is a very good sign ♪

♪ Strong and kind ♪

♪ And the little boy is mine ♪

♪ Now I see a family ♪

♪ Where there once was none ♪

♪ Now we've just begun ♪

♪ Yeah, we're gonna fly
to the Sun ♪

♪ And even though
we ain't got money ♪

♪ I'm so in love
with you, honey ♪

♪ And everything ♪

♪ Will bring a chain ♪

♪ Of love... ♪

♪ In the morning when I rise ♪

♪ You bring a tear of joy
to my eyes ♪

♪ And tell me ♪

♪ Everything ♪

♪ Is gonna be all right ♪

♪ Everything ♪

♪ Is gonna be all right. ♪

Hi, hot stuff. Hi.

You lose again!


I-I'm getting a cramp
in my leg.

How long have
Sam and Tina been gone?

Oh, who cares?

Tina is boring.

I hate Sam's haircut.

It makes his forehead
look too big.

You know what? I'm gonna...
walk this cramp off.


When you come back,
I'll be here.

I can have
some more energy drinks.




Oh! What the hell
are you doing?!

Uh, nothing!

What about Nurse Penny, Sam?

What, did you just
forget about her?

And, Tina, you're just, ugh!

Oh, I can't! I'm sorry, it
was the 11-hour energies!

- And cheap, sordid nostalgia. - This
was supposed to be our night.

Our little family,

our friendly threesome.

It was our last chance
to hang out together, and you...

you ruined it.

Actually, that was Becky!
With her Twister!

Blaine, come back!

Rachel, you're late! I'm
sorry, I was at a fitting.

Table Five... they've
been waiting for you.

Well, here we go.

- Hi, Rachel.
- What's going on here?

What's going on here? We have
a fatwa against her, remember?

Actually, I am paying
Eliot to run lines with me,

and they are going
to be letter-perfect

by the time you have
the tragic accident

that sidelines you and leaves
you horribly disfigured.

Or did that already happen?
I can't...

Okay, for the millionth time,

that is never,
ever going to happen.

I gave you the apartment,
I gave you Kurt,

and you are never...
let me repeat...

ever gonna play this part.
Ever, okay?

But you can't take
my new best friend.

You don't own him, Rachel.

I'm not speaking to you,

Rachel, Table Three
is requesting a number.

The husband and his wife
have been coming here every year

for the wife's birthday.

Her name is Gloria,
and she requested

a certain song be performed.

"Happy Birthday"?

"Gloria" by Laura Branigan.

Okay, well, Ronnie,
in that case, even though

I'm off duty, I think
I'll take the lead on this one,

since Rachel obviously
couldn't handle that song.

Come on, bestie, back me up.

Oh, you know, why don't you
back both of us up, and then

at the end you can decide
which one of us is better.

♪ Gloria ♪

♪ You're always on the run now ♪

♪ Running after somebody ♪

♪ You got to get him somehow ♪

♪ I think you got
to slow down ♪

♪ Before you start to blow it ♪

♪ I think you're headed
for a breakdown ♪

♪ So be careful not to show it ♪

♪ You really don't remember ♪

♪ Was it something
that they said? ♪

♪ All the voices in your head ♪

♪ Calling Gloria ♪

♪ Gloria ♪

♪ Don't you think
you're falling? ♪

♪ If everybody wants you ♪

♪ Why isn't anybody calling? ♪

♪ You don't have to answer ♪

♪ Leave 'em hangin'
on the li-ine ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Calling Gloria... ♪

♪ Gloria ♪

♪ Gloria ♪

♪ I think they got your number ♪

♪ Gloria ♪

♪ I think they got your alias ♪

♪ Gloria ♪

♪ That you been living under ♪

♪ But you really
don't remember ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Was it something
that they said? ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ All the voices in your head ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Calling Gloria ♪

♪ Ah... ♪

♪ Gloria ♪

♪ Oh, Gloria ♪

♪ Oh, Gloria ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, Gloria ♪

♪ Think they got your number ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪ Gloria ♪

♪ Gloria... ♪
♪ Gloria... ♪

♪ Gloria ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, Gloria ♪

♪ Gloria ♪

♪ Hey, oh... ♪
♪ Gloria ♪

♪ They got your,
they got your number ♪

♪ Gloria! ♪

All right, Starchild,
it is time

to settle this
once and for all.

Who was better?
You're both pretty... and...

I'm not gonna pick sides or
choose favorites or anything...

Yeah, well, sometimes
you have to.

Well, maybe, but not me,
and not for this.

You know what, until you guys
can figure out your stuff,

I'm done... I'm done with the band.
Yeah. What?

You know what, Santana? You
can find a new singing partner.

Rachel, you can be my roommate,

but I'm not your new best gay.

And, Kurt, you might be used
to this kind of drama,

but I'm not.

I'm over it.

come on, wait up.

I can't even look
at either of you...

that's how grossed out I am. Please stop.
We owe you an apology.

Yes, yes, you do.
The whole point of this lock-in

was for the three of us
to have fun together.

Instead, the two of you run off
and make it about yourselves

with your making out
and your gross boob talk.

Blaine, Sam and I just needed

- to get it out of our system.
- Yeah, we tried

making out and it was hot and
everything, but we decided that

we both don't want
to be a couple.

Exactly. We just
needed to explore

the possibility,
and now it's over.

It was a silly senior fling.
That's right.

Now I'm back to finding Tina
not attractive again, okay?

So, look, Tina and I,
we don't want to be a duet;

we want to be a trio again,
the three of us.

Why don't the three
of us hang out tonight,

no Twister, no making out,
no Becky.

No. We tried that,
and you ruined it.

You know, I turned down bumper
bowling with Kitty and Artie...

and you know how much
I love bumper bowling...

I turned it down
because I figured

they were just gonna
make out the whole time,

and I didn't want
to be a third wheel.

Fifth wheel. And then, lo and
behold, the two of you run off

during our fun night

of shenanigans and mischief,
and you turn it into

some kind of creepy

face-sucking slurp-a-thon
which I still

can't get out of my head!

So I guess you guys
can just have fun

hanging out
by yourselves tonight

and... fondle each other's
boobs, or whatever.

I mean...
do you want to?

There's no point in trying
to broker the peace, Kurt.

- I am not interested.
- Neither am I.

Although, if you can clear out
some space for us here,

I would be happy to settle
this Lima Heights style.

Two men enter, one man leaves.

Okay, I'm gonna give you both
one more chance

to put the stupidity aside
and act like adults.

Okay, my feelings
are my feelings, Kurt,

and they're not gonna change,
even if Santana

admits that she was wrong.
You broke this.

I'm gonna broke something, but
you are literally You broke it.

The most selfish bitch
I've ever met.

Okay, we promised
each other that

we would stick by each other
for two years,

and you guys haven't lasted
for two months,

because you don't care
about anyone but yourselves.

How about me?

How about the fact
that I lost my roommates, huh?

Or the fact that
you scared off Elliott

and now he wants
to quit the band?

This has nothing to do
with the band, Kurt, okay?

Santana and I are both professionals.

Blink 182 hated each other and
still found a way to continue

to suck as a band for years.
Oh, you know, you guys

don't have to worry about
the band, because you're out.

Pamela Lansbury is dead.

I'm starting a new band
with Elliott and Danny.

It's gonna be a trio.
Okay, wait, so my own girlfriend

agreed to kick me out
of the band?

Your girlfriend wants
to sing and have fun,

and she knows that's impossible
with you still in the band.

Okay, here is a flyer
for our first gig.

I hope the two of you
can declare an armistice

long enough to come and watch us play.
Thank you, Kurt.

Well, Santana, I hope
that you can rise above,

because I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Okay, well, just

make sure that you stay
on your side of the club, dwarf.

I think I saw a squirrel come
out of the back of your hair.

Okay, look, the way I see it is
we have two options right now.

One, we can have an all-out catfight
right here in the middle of this bar...

Which I would win.

for the sake of Kurt, we could
just pretend to be friends,

even if it's just for tonight.

But just for tonight,
and only because

I don't want to get your blood
all over my outfit.

Hello, everybody.

I'm Kurt, and welcome.

I know most of you
were excited to see

Pamela Lansbury perform tonight,

but unfortunately,
I have some sad news.

Pamela Lansbury... c'est fini.

Yeah, but do not worry,

because rising from the ashes
like a phoenix,

I give you New York's
new singing thruple...

One Three Hill!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Uh, you know, a year ago,
had someone asked me

if I thought I'd ever be
a part of a singing trio,

I would have said absolutely.

Maybe not this
combination exactly,

as amazing as they are,

Shut up and sing! but, uh...
I guess it's like what they say.

Life is one long and windy road,

and you're never sure
what might happen.

Speaking of which...

♪ Hey, life ♪

♪ Look at me ♪

♪ I can see the reality
♪ Beware of the happening ♪

♪ 'Cause when you shook me,
took me out of my world ♪

♪ I woke up ♪

♪ Suddenly I just woke up ♪

♪ To the happening, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ One day you're up
♪ One day you're up ♪

♪ Then you turn around
♪ Then you turn around ♪

♪ You find your world
♪ You find your world ♪

♪ Is tumbling down
♪ Is coming down ♪

♪ It happened to me ♪

♪ And it can happen to you ♪

♪ I was sure, I felt secure ♪

♪ Until love took a detour, yeah

♪ Beware of the happening ♪

♪ I'm riding high
on top of the world ♪

♪ It happened ♪

♪ Suddenly it just happened ♪

♪ The happening, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Now I see life
♪ Now I see life ♪

♪ For what it is
♪ For what it is ♪

♪ It's not all dreams
♪ It's not all dreams ♪

♪ It's not all bliss
♪ It's not all bliss ♪

♪ It happened to me ♪

♪ And it can happen to you ♪

♪ And then it happened
♪ And then it happened... ♪

♪ Ooh, and then it happened ♪

♪ And then it happened ♪

♪ Is it real? Is it fake? ♪

♪ Is this game of life a mistake? ♪
♪ Beware of the happening ♪

♪ 'Cause when I lost the love
I thought was mine ♪

♪ For certain ♪

♪ Suddenly I started hurting ♪

♪ The happening ♪ So sure ♪

♪ I felt secure ♪

♪ Until love took a detour ♪
♪ Beware of the happening ♪

♪ 'Cause when you got
a tender love you don't ♪

♪ Take care of ♪

♪ Then you better beware of ♪

♪ The happening ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh! ♪

Why are you digging
through my panty drawer, lezzie?

Well, because before
this drawer was filled

with crotchless panties
and stripper bras... ah...

it was my scented
candle drawer.

Elliott's lovely but he seems
to only know how to cook

with cumin and curry.

Okay, can we just talk
for a second about how you used

to have an entire drawer
dedicated to scented candles?

Maybe another time.

You know, it's funny,
but I realized

that I really don't have
any other girl friends here

in New York City, and you were
sort of my only one.

Well, maybe you should take that
as a sign

of your horrible personality

I'm sorry, but I don't see you
perusing around town

having cocktails with any
of your gal pals.

Okay. I guess we didn't have
a lot of girl friends

in high school.
Brittany doesn't count

'cause I was in love with her.
And I guess I had Quinn but...

the fact that she lives
an hour away and I never

thought about calling her
should say something to me.

Yeah. Sucks that we were all
so competitive about boys

and solos.
I mean, you know,

Kurt and Elliott are great,
but it's just different

having someone
who really gets it.

I just don't understand.
Like, why my part?

Why my understudy?

There was an opportunity
and I took it.

You would have done
the same thing,

and then you would
have fought to take down

whoever was in your way.
Even if it was me.

In New York City,

ask for a black coffee...

Well, you two in the same room
and there are no stitches?

- That's an improvement.
- We were just gonna rehearse.

Uh, Kurt picked out
the best trio song ever.

I was just leaving.
Yeah, I'm gonna go, too.

No, no, no, babe, stay.
It'll make me feel less guilty

about being okay with Kurt
kicking you out of the band.

I have to go to work.
Hey, for the record,

I think you guys
are both amazing.

If you manage to patch
things up at some point,

I would love to sing
with either of you or...

cook some curry.

We all would.

Right, well,

I don't really see
that happening any time soon,

and I have to go to rehearsal.

Excuse me.
You're a traitor.




So, I thought you were gonna
climb in through the window.

I think I'm retiring my cape.

Guess you're outgrowing
a lot of things.

No, I freaked out.

And I was wrong and I'm sorry.

I thought we were gonna have

the perfect senior year,
and the one that we got

has been so weird
and really hard.

Yeah. And so when
I tried to plan

the perfect night out
and it didn't go the way that...

that I'd hoped, I-I flipped out.

And I guess I found it shocking
to find two people kissing

that I never really
expected to find kissing,

but, really, that happens
all the time around here.

It does. Yeah. You
were right, Tina.

Everything is changing,

and I get why you
want to try everything

before it changes for good.

But the one thing I
can promise is

not gonna change is that we are
gonna be friends forever.

I like the sound of that.

I'm sorry, guys.

What do you all think's
gonna happen

to this place when we leave?

I mean, there's only
gonna be, like,

three kids in the glee club.
It feels so weird

to think about Glee Club
going on without us.

Well, at least
we can leave them with

a second national championship
to remember us with.

- Ménage-a-gross.
- Hey, Artie,

uh, you want to join us? We're
just having, like, a little

senior moment if you want to,
you know, take part.

No, I don't want
to interrupt your power trio.

All right, all right,
all right, all right!

All right.

Come on.


Ladies and gentlemen,

one week until nationals.

Okay, I was planning
on ordering dinner in

and working you guys deep into
the night, but then I realized

that worrying too much about
what you're trying to accomplish

actually gets in the way of what
you're trying to accomplish.

And as a coach

who knows what a national
championship team looks like,

I have to say...

you guys are ready.

Love you!

Except for one thing.

Don't forget your sunblock

because this time next week,

we are gonna be
in sunny Los Angeles.

Wait, Mr. Shue, Mr. Shue.

So, for us seniors,
this is one of our last

Glee Club meetings.
It's kind of a big deal.

We were wondering if we
could just do one last number.

Yes, please. And we wanted to ask Artie
to be a part of the trio with us.

Yeah, if memory serves,

a quartet is 25% more powerful.

We're just a little slow
at the math.

I was right.

♪ I know this pain ♪

♪ Why do you lock yourself up ♪

♪ In these chains? ♪

♪ No one can change your life ♪

♪ Except for you ♪

♪ Don't ever let anyone
step all over you ♪

♪ Just open your heart ♪

♪ And your mind ♪

♪ Mmm ♪

♪ Is it really fair to feel ♪

♪ This way inside? ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Someday somebody's
gonna make you want ♪

♪ To turn around
and say good-bye ♪

♪ Until then ♪

♪ Baby, are you gonna let 'em
hold you down ♪

♪ And make you cry? ♪

♪ Don't you know? ♪

♪ Don't you know
things can change ♪

♪ Things'll go your way ♪

♪ If you hold... ♪
♪ Hold on ♪

♪ For one more day ♪

♪ If you hold on
for one more day ♪

♪ Things'll go your way ♪

♪ Hold on for one more day ♪

♪ Mmm ♪

♪ You can sustain
♪ You can sustain ♪

♪ Oh, or are you comfortable
with the pain? ♪

♪ You've got no one to blame
for your unhappiness ♪

♪ You got yourself
into your own mess ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Lettin' your worries
pass you by ♪

♪ Lettin' your worries
pass you by ♪
♪ Baby ♪

♪ Don't you think it's worth ♪

♪ Your time
to change your mind? ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ Someday somebody's gonna ♪

♪ Make you want to turn around
and say good-bye ♪

♪ And say good-bye ♪
♪ Until then ♪

♪ Baby, are you gonna let 'em
hold you down ♪

♪ And make you cry? ♪

♪ Oh ♪
♪ Don't you know? ♪

♪ Don't you know
things can change ♪

♪ Things'll go your way ♪

♪ If you hold... ♪

♪ Hold on for one more day ♪

♪ Just hold on ♪
♪ Hold on ♪

♪ Hold on ♪

♪ It's gonna go your way ♪

♪ Hold on for one more day ♪

♪ Things'll go your way ♪

♪ Things'll go your way ♪

♪ Hold on for one more day. ♪

We leave for L.A.
in two days, Em.

You better start packing.

I know how you like to
vacuum-pack all your stuff.



I don't think
I'm gonna go with you.

You better go.

Hey, you're our good luck charm.

And, besides,

we can't miss a prime week
of baby-making time.


we can if one
has already been made.

I'm pregnant.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

This is amazing!

Wait, wait, wait.
Are-are you really pregnant

or are just pretending to be?
Because last time

somebody told me
they were pregnant,

it was really bad...

Listen, listen...
the doctor confirmed it.

I'm really, really pregnant
with your baby, Will.

I'm gonna have your baby.

Oh... mmm... Oh, my God.

We're gonna be a real family.

Just the three of us.

Oh, I love you so much.