Girls5eva (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Episode #2.1 - full transcript
In "Feel Good News,".
Girls5eva, the one-hit
wonders best known
for each having been
engaged to Carson Daly,
have reunited
after decades apart
and are hoping to
become two-hit wonders.
After crashing the stage
at Jingle Ball last month,
one brand new label,
Property Records,
liked what they heard
enough to give them a deal.
- Yes, finally.
- Oh, my gosh, we made the news!
[all squealing]
Okay, we are officially
in Album Mode.
We are four
uncompromised vessels
for genius.
♪ Whoa-o-o-o ♪
[laughs]
You saw your thing then?
- Yeah!
- Yes.
- Okay, bye.
- [breaks squeal]
Whoa!
Uh, sorry, sir, can you
please drive us home?
- My shift ended two hours ago.
- I live in the Poconos.
$191.
- I got it.
- [sighs]
[tires squeal]
We were on TV! [All squealing]
[upbeat music]
All: ♪ Gonna be famous 5eva ♪
♪ 'Cause 4eva's too short ♪
♪ It's too short ♪
♪ Gonna be famous 3gether ♪
♪ 'Cause that's 1
more than 2gether ♪
♪ Gonna be famous 5eva ♪
♪ 'Cause 4eva's too short ♪
♪ So what are you waiting 5? ♪
♪ Girls5eva ♪
[upbeat music]
I don't like these.
Buddy, foot health starts
with a native foot splay.
Let's not be late to the label.
Bye, I love you.
Mwah. Bye.
[notification chimes]
Hudson's mom Cara wants to know
if Max can do karate
class on Tuesdays at 4:00?
Uh, his ballerino class
ends at 2:30, so yeah.
Dawn, Album Mode.
Yes.
Our studio time doesn't
start till next week.
#AlbumMode is a state of mind.
It started when our
deal was announced
and ends when I'm at the
Met Gala in a catheter
because my dress
is too complicated.
I thought maybe you'd use
the advance to rent a place,
but guess not.
Well, we didn't get
"eff you" money.
So until the back end rolls in,
I'll live like every other
hot person in Rome...
Dressing like a billionaire,
sleeping in a hovel.
- Rude. We have an air fryer.
- [notification chimes]
My God! I got into Raya!
Really? I couldn't.
The dragon has hair
and doesn't sing.
It's the secret dating
app for celebrities.
I've applied 30 times. [Gasps]
It's already suggesting.
"Goldbergs" regular,
Tim Meadows.
Do it. Get back out there.
Right.
I haven't dated anyone
since I got dumped by Cray.
- You should.
- [notification chimes]
Not now, phone.
[chuckles]
Album Mode.
[exciting music]
I'm scouring TikTok for
my new "The Excelsior."
What do you think of this one?
Honey, that's a tutorial
for how to cut cake
with a wineglass.
- Well, it's very hot.
- [chuckles]
- Water in glass bottles?
- They love us here.
I know all the subtle signs,
like I knew L.A. Reid lost
faith in my solo album
when the chopper they flew me in
started also doing
traffic and weather.
- Sorry!
- Oh!
- Oh!
- Hey!
- Oh!
- [laughs]
Oh, my goodness.
So much to do when you're
launching a new thing.
[laughs] Guys.
Celebrity brand
expansion is no joke,
but that's our world now.
Rihanna's getting into
the mattress space.
Reese is doing motorcycles.
Bobby Flay launched a
line of eyebrow pencils
for redheaded boys.
I mean, everyone's just doing
whatever the fuck they want,
so why not the Property
Brothers, right?
- [all laughing and clapping]
- Oh, we're such big fans.
We love their show and
their country album.
They're my favorite set of...
[western accent] Twins.
We're just happy that
this time we don't have
a contract with a clause called
"Acceptable Pubic Hairstyle."
- Ugh, the '90s. I was four.
- [laughs]
So tonight's new talent
showcase is gonna be super fun.
You'll meet the rest
of Tate's slate,
and then I'll show you
all off to the big bosses.
[gasps] The Property Brothers?
A bunch of money and PR
people at Property Inc.
The brothers are in Greece
renovating everything.
Good. It's so old.
- [laughs]
- So what are we singing?
After you signed us,
I wrote us an anthem
about how we're
feeling, and it goes...
♪ We got ♪
all: ♪ We got, we got momentum ♪
♪ Yeah, um, it's our moment ♪
Love! Ugh.
And I'm so happy
you started writing
because we need the
album done in six weeks.
[quirky music]
That... that's fast. Wow.
The goal is to drop
it when we launch
the brothers' new line
of scented hammers
available exclusively at Kohl's.
- Ooh.
- Mm.
- Cedar Plank Salmon?
- Bingo. [Laughs]
You guys good with
that time line?
I know people over
30 tend to have
other things in their lives.
February's a slow tooth month
and my dad's anti psychotic is...
[kisses] Kinda working.
I have a kid.
But she never talks
to me, so I'm V avail.
And I have a job I can blow
off literally any time.
My boss is... forgive the
expression... a pussy.
With a tremendous work ethic
I inherited from my father...
Which turned out to
be a smoke screen
for his constant cheating,
but by the time I found
out, it was ingrained.
I love how you're all in.
When I saw you storm that
stage, I was like, "What?"
And then I was like, "Who?"
And then I was like,
"Okay!" [laughter]
I love how you risk it
all for what you want.
To Girls5eva!
Wow! [All cheering]
[upbeat music]
That cake said, "G5E."
We're on cakes now.
The cake said, "G5E."
- [laughs]
- Summer, are you okay?
No. Will you look at my skin?
It's as flawless as
a bulldog's belly.
And my bald spot
from 30 years of extensions
has started to fill in.
- That's great.
- Yeah, it's great.
Everything is just
a little too great.
It has been over a month
since I asked for a divorce,
and God still
hasn't punished me.
Stevia took it fine.
Kev's, like, coming up here
to announce it our fans.
We got this album deal.
Like, what kind of sick thing
is He setting me up for?
Oh, my God, is it skin tags?
- Will you look?
- Summer.
Maybe things are going well
because you're taking
control of your life.
- I am?
- You're growing.
You know, I'm only
doing vocal fry now
if I'm scared or
I need something.
- That's huge.
- I know.
Stop worrying that the
other shoe's gonna drop.
Okay. Thanks, Dawn.
You're such a good
friend. [laughs]
- What do you want?
- Gum and a phone charger.
[upbeat music]
So when did you start
singing together?
Well, we knew we
had beautiful faces.
But then we thought,
what if we also had
beautiful voices?
And we did.
- Hey.
- [laughs]
Dawn, they're ready
for our run-through.
Those guys got
discovered on TikTok
doing push-ups to the
audio of Reagan being shot.
Anyway, they seem cool.
I say we do a stripped-down
version of "Momentum."
Four stools. One spotlight.
That way, we back-pocket the
dance version for the album
and blow minds.
- [phone buzzing]
- Wow.
Shit. One second.
Hi, hi. I just got, like,
five more emails from Cara.
Can Max do karate on Wednesdays?
Jane's son has peanut
reintroduction on Tuesdays.
- Dawn.
- Okay, love you, bye.
One of my gifts is noticing
inefficient bullshit.
- Why don't they email Scott?
- I don't know.
It's just a bunch of
moms I barely know.
This chain is sexist.
Moms assuming other moms
manage their kids' schedules?
It's 2022. Moms reserve
the right to be terrible.
Thank you.
Wait.
Yeah, like, why does this chick
just automatically
reach out to me?
Vag.
This is a bias we have
to examine as a society.
- Oh, my God, I'm so bored.
- Do it.
"Wednesday works.
Adding Scott in case there's
anything else to hash out."
- Ha ha!
- [laughs]
This is how change happens.
Here we go, the boys of Collab.
All: ♪ Of course I'll wait
till you're ready, girl ♪
- ♪ But like, how long though? ♪
- ♪ How long though? ♪
All: ♪ It's hot to go
slow and steady, girl ♪
♪ But like ♪ [muffled singing]
I mean, come on.
- My guys are hot, huh?
- [all groan]
You rep Collab, Larry?
They live in my hype house.
Well, technically it's
my mother's house,
but she's too sick
to leave her room.
Anyhoo, good luck
out there tonight.
May the best man win.
Well... well, it's
not a competition.
I mean, we're all
on the same label.
- Of course it's a competition.
- Property Records is brand new.
Every new thang
casts a wide net.
But they only push the horse
that's gonna put
them on the map.
Those execs out there are
trying to pick Property's horse.
Ignore him. Mind games.
Remember, when Netflix
started, right?
It was all about
"House of Cards."
- Spacey innocent.
- Ugh!
But that same year, they
also dropped "Bad Samaritans"
starring David Faustino... It
didn't even get a billboard.
I know because I
had a bit part in it
as "Picnic Freak."
Yeah, we both know
their horse'll probably
be the country kid with a lisp
because "inclusion" or whatever.
Is tonight a horse race?
Collab: ♪ One
month? That's cool ♪
[gasps]
That's the exact
same face I make
when I wear adventurous jeans.
Tate is judging
people's reactions.
Well, then we shouldn't leave
anything to the imagination.
Let's do the club
version of "Momentum."
[sighs]
Please welcome Girls5eva!
All: ♪ We got, we got,
we got, we got, we got ♪
♪ We got, we got, we
got, we got, we got ♪
♪ Momentum, yeah,
um, it's our moment ♪
♪ We're contenders ♪
♪ But we can be tender ♪
all: ♪ Unstoppable,
this unst, unst ♪
- ♪ Ain't toppable ♪
- ♪ Toppable ♪
all: ♪ Courageous, don't
care what our age is ♪
♪ Intensity, we're
tens in the city ♪
♪ We're outstanding ♪
♪ Ding, we stand out ♪
♪ We got momentum ♪
[upbeat music]
♪ We're climbing higher ♪
♪ Oh ♪
all: ♪ We got momentum,
we got, we got ♪
- ♪ Momentum ♪
- ♪ We got, we got ♪
- all: ♪ Yeah, we're on fire ♪
- ♪ Momentum! ♪
- All: ♪ We got, we got... ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah! ♪
- It's all right.
- I'll give it back.
Momentum!
Death drop! [Yelps]
- Oh!
- [crowd gasps, cheers]
- [gasps]
- Oh, my God!
Oh, God. I did it.
[laughs] Yeah!
Oh, no. Come on, giddyap.
Keep going!
All: ♪ Storm the
stage, momentum ♪
♪ Broke the cage, momentum ♪
♪ Turn the page, momentum ♪
♪ Time to rage, momentum ♪
♪ Took the wheel, momentum ♪
♪ Stainless steel, momentum ♪
- ♪ Sign the deal, momentum ♪
- ♪ Sign the deal ♪
all: ♪ Guess it's real ♪
♪ We got momentum, we got,
we got, we got, we got ♪
♪ Yeah, we're on
fire, we got, we got ♪
♪ We got, we got,
we got momentum ♪
[cheering and applause]
Shit, I had too much momentum.
[quirky music]
Ugh, I knew the other
shoe was gonna drop.
You got my divorce smite...
Maybe because, you know, you
were the one that pushed me
to ask for it, but
still. It should be me.
Here, Dawn. Bash my knee!
- Come on!
- No.
- Ms. McManus?
- What do you do for a living?
Lay railroad tracks?
Are you in "Stomp"?
- We're a girl group.
- Ah.
Well, your knees absorbed
years of sustained damage.
You need a knee
replacement. [all gasp]
- What?
- No.
You can get a second opinion,
but it will signal to me
that you don't trust
a female doctor.
- [phone ringing]
- It's Tate.
Don't tell him.
- Hey, boy, hey.
- Where'd you guys go?
What? We totally said bye.
You were drunk, bunny.
Well, you blew everyone
away tonight...
So much so that our PR team
wants to start the
promo train now.
[all gasp] Instagram takeovers,
charity concerts, cooking
dog food with Rachael Ray...
Just, like, a million
things, so that by April,
the world will be
begging for your album.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
It's gonna be a ton more work
but I know you're all in.
[laughs] Okay, bye.
- God, we're Property's horse.
- They're betting on us.
Larry was right.
Shit!
How long is the
recovery for this?
- It's a major surgery.
- 12 weeks.
- Oh.
- 12 weeks?
Well, that's a
momentum murderer.
- Maybe Tate will understand.
- Yeah.
They have an April roll out.
They're not gonna want
me to promote their label
post-op from a
Hannibal Lecter board.
Oh, hey, Hoda, I know you booked
us to lead a hip-hop yoga class.
But what if instead,
we just teach America
how to drain an incision sight?
I might watch that.
What would happen
if I put it off?
What do you use to prop
up half-dead NFL players?
Steroid injections, painkillers.
But you'd be in a lot of pain.
And your compensation
patterns could lead to damage
- in your surrounding joints.
- "Could lead."
Not guaranteed though.
Okay, but, Gloria, is this
the best thing for you?
- Come on.
- We have all played through pain.
True.
Summer, did you stop
our Teen Choice duet
with Lou Bega when you found
out your snake was poisonous?
No. I am profesh.
And I definitely
didn't let anyone know
when my gallbladder exploded
at our Live-to-VHS
Christmas Special.
All: ♪ Oops, oh, no, Jesus'
birthday's on Christmas ♪
- ♪ Ho, ho, no ♪
- ♪ Ho, ho, no ♪
all: ♪ He gets an Xbox and
hears it's for both... ♪
- [passionately]
- ♪ Fall on your knees ♪
♪ Oh, hear the angel voices ♪
[ornament shatters]
♪ Night ♪
♪ Divine! ♪
Sure,
I can't digest fatty meats now,
but you don't cut
and run when you have
George Wendt playing Santa.
George freaking Wendt!
[notification chiming]
Well, press starts tomorrow.
Tate just booked us on a
"Spin Magazine" podcast.
- Come on!
- Wait, wait, you guys. Hold on.
Gloria, this is
totally your call.
We are a group, and we
will support your decision
no matter what because we
all believe in self-care.
- Absolutely.
- I'll allow it.
Doc, shoot me up.
I want steroids, stem
cells, Impossible Burger.
Just give me a couple months.
'Cause we are in Album Mode!
- Oh, honey.
- [squeals]
Gloria, in solidarity,
I too will play through pain.
Time to break a heart.
[elegant string music]
Wickie?
Hello, Timothy.
I was so pumped you
wanted to meet up so fast.
I was already in
Midtown buying comics.
I got two Hulks and
the original Cathy
where she finally
decides to kill herself.
Please, Timothy Meadows.
Obviously, I wanna cut ribbons
at steakhouses with you,
meet your boat,
inspire your niece
to go into fashion.
I wanna be there when
a hurricane takes
your childhood home because
the tragedy brings us closer.
But I can't.
I cannot let you Yoko Girls5eva.
I am in Album Mode.
Wait, are you dumping me?
Because we're strangers, miss.
I wrote, "Do you like comics?"
And you wrote for
me to meet you here.
- I can see you're hurt.
- And I'm hurt.
Because it is hard for
me to be the one...
The one that got away.
So I guess I'll pay
for your fish tower?
[phone chimes]
- [notification chimes]
- Shit. Sorry, sorry.
My phone just came
off airplane mode.
I was sort of up.
I think I was weird during
morning announcements.
I said "first and
foremost" three times.
Hey, did you chime in
on all these emails
about buying the karate uniform?
I didn't get any emails.
[gasps] It didn't take.
Cara made a new thread
and left you off.
- She did?
- Oh, my God, your breath.
Yeah, sorry. I smell it too.
I'm coming to drop-off tomorrow.
Album Mode. [Upbeat music]
- All right, love you, buddy.
- Bye!
- Bye.
- The lychees have pits.
♪ ♪
That kid's scooter says Hudson.
- Wait, they all do.
- Hey, mamacita!
Oh, hey, Cara. I'm glad
I ran into you, actually.
Um, so super small,
but I'd love to add Scott
to the karate emails.
Oh, yes. I saw that.
First and foremost, Cara,
with Dawn's girl group,
I am the point person for Max.
And, uh, and... And
first and foremost...
Why do you only email the moms?
- What?
- You only email moms.
I do? So?
Did you ever think about
writing both partners
and whoever knows their
kid's deal writes back?
Not really.
Why not?
Oh, my God.
Am I sexist?
I didn't think I was.
I mean, I have a sequined
pillow of Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
And yet, yeah, I thought,
"I'll just reach out to
the moms about karate."
Why'd I do that?
- I don't know, Cara.
- Do the work.
Maybe it's because I get
put on so many mom emails,
even though I'm a
partner of a law firm
and my husband is a painter.
Or maybe it's because, you know,
moms just feel more comfortable
reaching out to other moms.
Because what if the dad gets
mad if I spam his in box?
And yet why don't I ever
worry about bothering a woman?
Or maybe, if I really
think about it,
there's a tiny, ugly corner
of myself that worries
if I get all the dads' emails...
I might try to
fuck all the dads.
I think we need to embrace
the unknown here, Cara.
Ms. Mara, we want
all the dads' emails.
Those emails are private.
Oh, what am I doing?
My tote bag says,
"Modern Day Goddess."
I'll do it.
[bright music]
Is Hazel finally gonna
get invited to something?
Thank God!
- Have you heard from Gloria?
- No, and I'm worried.
Last night, she couldn't
even bend her knee.
I know. When I drove her home,
she had to ride backwards
with it shoved into that
hole meant for skis.
- Ugh.
- Hey!
- Oh!
- Hi!
- Oh!
- [laughter]
The injections murdered
the inflammation.
- And then I took a Percocet.
- Ooh.
And then I swung by the office
and threw a little novocaine in
and I am all good.
Okay, as long as you're
good, we're good.
But promise me you'll make
the call if its ever too much.
Ooh, just use the
codeword that we had
for visible tampon string
when we did MTV4's "The Grind's
Spring Break Slam Palace."
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
Jack Bauer.
♪ ♪
Obvs. But I feel great.
- And I can get through a podcast.
- Ah!
Look at us.
Four killers in Album Mode.
- Both: Yes!
- And I did what had to be done.
Tim Meadows was heartbroken.
Wait. You met up
with him to end it?
To make it crystal clear
that I cannot be involved
because Album Mode
all in, etcetera.
You just wanted to dump someone.
No, I didn't. I love love.
Wickie?
Wow, look at you.
You look even taller
than your pictures.
Joey Sasso,
winner of the reality
show, "The Circle,"
it's over.
I'm in Album Mode.
[dramatic music]
- Ha.
- Fine.
I'm enjoying the
control for once.
Just let me have this.
You shouldn't be allowed
to use Raya like that, bro.
Oh, hey, it's Girls5eva.
[door buzzes]
Ah!
Clear eyes, numb knee,
can't lose. Let's hit it.
Up here!
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Oh, crap.
- I dropped my lip stuff.
[quirky music]
♪ ♪
Just bring it up
with you. Thanks.
Gloria, again, if it's too
much, you say the word.
I told you, I'm good.
[grunts]
Come on, clomp, clomp.
[jazz music]
[laughs]
Hi.
♪ ♪
- [Wickie laughing]
- Come here. Mwah!
- Hi, hi.
- Hi.
- Mwah.
- Hi.
Hello.
- Living with ease.
- Thank you.
Welcome to mile one of the
Girls5eva press marathon!
[imitates air horn] I'm fun.
So this pod is legit, okay?
This is where Miley first
started smiling with tongue.
Okay? So just be fun,
upbeat, drum up the hype.
[voice fading] Then
we're gonna head...
♪ Imagine a place in
a mountainous forest ♪
♪ A land full of wonder
where all joints are fine ♪
[sweeping music]
♪ A beckoning paw leads
the way to a clearing ♪
♪ Get ready to run with
your new reckless pride ♪
♪ Pink-eyed rabbits
charging on claws ♪
♪ Eternally tender ♪
♪ Pink-eyed rabbits
charging on claws ♪
♪ Eternally tender ♪
♪ Pink-eyed rabbits
charging on claws ♪
♪ Eternally tender ♪
You're listening to
"Pop Goes the Reasel"
with Nathan Reasel," a
deep dive into pop music
sponsored by "Spin Magazine."
My guests today are
mounting a comeback.
You may remember them
as the first women
to wear thong-thong-
thong-thong-thongs
to the White House.
[all laughing]
Welcome, Girls5eva. How
you feeling today, ladies?
- Blessed.
- Great.
- Amazing.
- God-like.
God-like.
Okay.
Now, I hear
you are about to go
back into the studio
to record your first
album since 2k01.
- Now is that accurate?
- Absolutely, Nathan.
We start next week, and
we're just super excited.
[English accent]
I love New York.
I like to eat burgers
and look at the skyline.
Yes, and we're hungry
to get back at it.
- Right, ladies?
- Absolutely.
- Yum, yum. Chomp, chomp.
- [laughs]
We're the best
band in the world,
and anyone who says otherwise
is jealous and senile
and not getting enough
fucking meat pies.
Okay.
Why is Gloria acting all
Liam Gallagher-cocky?
Every time I look in the
mirror, God looks back.
As I said, we are blessed.
Blessed with voices,
voices that can...
♪ Do a little
something like this ♪
- Gloria, are you okay?
- ♪ And do a little something ♪
- ♪ Like that ♪
- If you're not, say Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer.
♪ Because we don't
just smell good ♪
Ah, that's what
I'm talking about.
Now, as a pop music
anthropologist,
I'm always fascinated by
how groups stay together for
a beat, so my question is,
how goes Girls5eva
keep it going?
I think we're all
just super committed.
We know what we want
and we go for it.
Yes, and we're tough, Nathan.
Because in this business,
you have to be, right?
- That's true. That's true.
- That's very true.
Toughness is admirable.
But I often wonder, is it the
very act of being in a group
that's part of what
sustains an artist?
That feeling of safety
that comes from knowing
that no matter what the
music world throws at you,
or how much it takes from you,
you always have that
handful of people
that are looking out for you?
Well, at least that's
what Iron Maiden told me.
[chuckles] Would you all agree?
George Harrison is
a fucking nipple.
[laughs] You are a pill.
Now are you the one
that does the crazy move
that your label rep
was telling me about?
Guilty. Show him, Gloria.
I live for now.
She's gonna really hurt herself.
But we said she can stop
if it's ever too much.
It's better from higher.
Think we only said that
because we knew
she wouldn't stop.
We need to stop her.
Jack Bauer! Get down.
- Oh.
- No!
Yes.
[grunts]
Are y'all all right?
No, we're not.
Nathan, sometimes, the
hardest thing to do
is enter human mode.
[sentimental music]
♪ ♪
Girls5eva needs to take a pause
from our promotional blitz
because one of us needs
urgent medical treatment...
For a rampant sexual addiction,
no further questions.
That'll at least get us into
the "Daily Mail," come on.
- Go! Let's go.
- All right, thank you so much.
- No problem.
- Thank you for coming...
Oh, you just gonna leave with
my sunglasses, all right.
I'm telling you.
You could've ChapSticked
me down all the way
because I still
can't feel a thing.
- The Uber's here.
- Oh, my God.
Thank you so much for
understanding, Tate.
Of course. Wellness first.
There's power in "no."
Boundaries, I see you.
Just get the surg
and feel bett'.
I'll see if we can
pause the promo ramp.
People at the company
respect me a ton,
so I feel really
good about it, okay?
You're gonna wanna Nama-stay
exactly where you are
'cause up next, it's
"Hip-hop Yoga With Hoda."
Joining me is the up and
coming boy band, Collab.
- All: Hey!
- And they are hot, hot, hot.
Well, we just have to make
the most undeniable album
of all time.
Idea.
"Purple Rain," but now.
- How cute is this?
- Aww!
I'm so glad the group
email's working.
- I haven't even checked in.
- Totally. Well...
Cara fucked some dads?
Yeah.
There's always
hiccups with progress.
Mm.
[phone buzzing]
Hi.
She just went in. She's good.
I offered to be the knee donor,
and she's like, "That's
not how this works."
And I'm like, "Okay, dentist."
Okay, we'll be there
when she wakes up.
Guys, I'm really proud of us.
We did empathy. We sacrificed.
My debt with God
is finally paid.
Oh, my God. Is that a skin tag?
What do you want from me, Lord?
Dawn, I'll meet you there.
I have a stop to make
now that I'm experimenting
with human mode.
[quirky music]
♪ ♪
Timothy.
- How'd you find me?
- You geotagged your apartment.
I was rash and a little selfish.
I needed the ego boost
that can only come
from dumping another.
And I know the wound
is still fresh, but...
I'm willing to pry open
Album Mode just a bit.
Can we try again?
We are and will remain
strangers, miss.
Oh, and I met someone.
[upbeat music]
She's gonna meet my boat.
Raya works. [Chuckles]
Good luck. [Car door closes]
An adult man into
comics is just stupid.
♪ ♪
all: ♪ We got, we got ♪
- ♪ We got, we got, we got ♪
- ♪ We got ♪
all: ♪ We got, we got ♪
♪ Momentum, yeah,
um, it's our moment ♪
♪ Moment ♪
♪ We're contenders
but we can be tender ♪
♪ Unstoppable, this unst, unst ♪
- ♪ Ain't toppable ♪
- ♪ Toppable ♪
all: ♪ Courageous, don't
care what our age is ♪
♪ Intensity, we're
tens in the city ♪
♪ We're outstanding ♪
♪ Ding, we stand out ♪
- ♪ We got momentum ♪
- ♪ Momentum ♪
all: ♪ We're climbing higher ♪
♪ Oh ♪
all: ♪ We got momentum,
we got, we got ♪
- ♪ Momentum ♪
- all: ♪ We got, we got-we got ♪
- ♪ Yeah, we're on fire ♪
- ♪ Momentum! ♪
- All: ♪ We got, we got ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah! ♪
♪ ♪
all: ♪ Storm the
stage, momentum ♪
♪ Broke the cage, momentum ♪
♪ Turn the page, momentum ♪
♪ Time to rage, momentum ♪
♪ Took the wheel, momentum ♪
♪ Stainless steel, momentum ♪
- ♪ Sign the deal, momentum ♪
- ♪ Sign the deal ♪
all: ♪ Guess it's real ♪
♪ We got momentum, we got,
we got, we got, we got ♪
- ♪ Yeah, we're on fire ♪
- ♪ Momentum ♪
all: ♪ We got, we
got, we got momentum ♪
- Good night, everybody.
- Good night.
[food crunching]
Girls5eva, the one-hit
wonders best known
for each having been
engaged to Carson Daly,
have reunited
after decades apart
and are hoping to
become two-hit wonders.
After crashing the stage
at Jingle Ball last month,
one brand new label,
Property Records,
liked what they heard
enough to give them a deal.
- Yes, finally.
- Oh, my gosh, we made the news!
[all squealing]
Okay, we are officially
in Album Mode.
We are four
uncompromised vessels
for genius.
♪ Whoa-o-o-o ♪
[laughs]
You saw your thing then?
- Yeah!
- Yes.
- Okay, bye.
- [breaks squeal]
Whoa!
Uh, sorry, sir, can you
please drive us home?
- My shift ended two hours ago.
- I live in the Poconos.
$191.
- I got it.
- [sighs]
[tires squeal]
We were on TV! [All squealing]
[upbeat music]
All: ♪ Gonna be famous 5eva ♪
♪ 'Cause 4eva's too short ♪
♪ It's too short ♪
♪ Gonna be famous 3gether ♪
♪ 'Cause that's 1
more than 2gether ♪
♪ Gonna be famous 5eva ♪
♪ 'Cause 4eva's too short ♪
♪ So what are you waiting 5? ♪
♪ Girls5eva ♪
[upbeat music]
I don't like these.
Buddy, foot health starts
with a native foot splay.
Let's not be late to the label.
Bye, I love you.
Mwah. Bye.
[notification chimes]
Hudson's mom Cara wants to know
if Max can do karate
class on Tuesdays at 4:00?
Uh, his ballerino class
ends at 2:30, so yeah.
Dawn, Album Mode.
Yes.
Our studio time doesn't
start till next week.
#AlbumMode is a state of mind.
It started when our
deal was announced
and ends when I'm at the
Met Gala in a catheter
because my dress
is too complicated.
I thought maybe you'd use
the advance to rent a place,
but guess not.
Well, we didn't get
"eff you" money.
So until the back end rolls in,
I'll live like every other
hot person in Rome...
Dressing like a billionaire,
sleeping in a hovel.
- Rude. We have an air fryer.
- [notification chimes]
My God! I got into Raya!
Really? I couldn't.
The dragon has hair
and doesn't sing.
It's the secret dating
app for celebrities.
I've applied 30 times. [Gasps]
It's already suggesting.
"Goldbergs" regular,
Tim Meadows.
Do it. Get back out there.
Right.
I haven't dated anyone
since I got dumped by Cray.
- You should.
- [notification chimes]
Not now, phone.
[chuckles]
Album Mode.
[exciting music]
I'm scouring TikTok for
my new "The Excelsior."
What do you think of this one?
Honey, that's a tutorial
for how to cut cake
with a wineglass.
- Well, it's very hot.
- [chuckles]
- Water in glass bottles?
- They love us here.
I know all the subtle signs,
like I knew L.A. Reid lost
faith in my solo album
when the chopper they flew me in
started also doing
traffic and weather.
- Sorry!
- Oh!
- Oh!
- Hey!
- Oh!
- [laughs]
Oh, my goodness.
So much to do when you're
launching a new thing.
[laughs] Guys.
Celebrity brand
expansion is no joke,
but that's our world now.
Rihanna's getting into
the mattress space.
Reese is doing motorcycles.
Bobby Flay launched a
line of eyebrow pencils
for redheaded boys.
I mean, everyone's just doing
whatever the fuck they want,
so why not the Property
Brothers, right?
- [all laughing and clapping]
- Oh, we're such big fans.
We love their show and
their country album.
They're my favorite set of...
[western accent] Twins.
We're just happy that
this time we don't have
a contract with a clause called
"Acceptable Pubic Hairstyle."
- Ugh, the '90s. I was four.
- [laughs]
So tonight's new talent
showcase is gonna be super fun.
You'll meet the rest
of Tate's slate,
and then I'll show you
all off to the big bosses.
[gasps] The Property Brothers?
A bunch of money and PR
people at Property Inc.
The brothers are in Greece
renovating everything.
Good. It's so old.
- [laughs]
- So what are we singing?
After you signed us,
I wrote us an anthem
about how we're
feeling, and it goes...
♪ We got ♪
all: ♪ We got, we got momentum ♪
♪ Yeah, um, it's our moment ♪
Love! Ugh.
And I'm so happy
you started writing
because we need the
album done in six weeks.
[quirky music]
That... that's fast. Wow.
The goal is to drop
it when we launch
the brothers' new line
of scented hammers
available exclusively at Kohl's.
- Ooh.
- Mm.
- Cedar Plank Salmon?
- Bingo. [Laughs]
You guys good with
that time line?
I know people over
30 tend to have
other things in their lives.
February's a slow tooth month
and my dad's anti psychotic is...
[kisses] Kinda working.
I have a kid.
But she never talks
to me, so I'm V avail.
And I have a job I can blow
off literally any time.
My boss is... forgive the
expression... a pussy.
With a tremendous work ethic
I inherited from my father...
Which turned out to
be a smoke screen
for his constant cheating,
but by the time I found
out, it was ingrained.
I love how you're all in.
When I saw you storm that
stage, I was like, "What?"
And then I was like, "Who?"
And then I was like,
"Okay!" [laughter]
I love how you risk it
all for what you want.
To Girls5eva!
Wow! [All cheering]
[upbeat music]
That cake said, "G5E."
We're on cakes now.
The cake said, "G5E."
- [laughs]
- Summer, are you okay?
No. Will you look at my skin?
It's as flawless as
a bulldog's belly.
And my bald spot
from 30 years of extensions
has started to fill in.
- That's great.
- Yeah, it's great.
Everything is just
a little too great.
It has been over a month
since I asked for a divorce,
and God still
hasn't punished me.
Stevia took it fine.
Kev's, like, coming up here
to announce it our fans.
We got this album deal.
Like, what kind of sick thing
is He setting me up for?
Oh, my God, is it skin tags?
- Will you look?
- Summer.
Maybe things are going well
because you're taking
control of your life.
- I am?
- You're growing.
You know, I'm only
doing vocal fry now
if I'm scared or
I need something.
- That's huge.
- I know.
Stop worrying that the
other shoe's gonna drop.
Okay. Thanks, Dawn.
You're such a good
friend. [laughs]
- What do you want?
- Gum and a phone charger.
[upbeat music]
So when did you start
singing together?
Well, we knew we
had beautiful faces.
But then we thought,
what if we also had
beautiful voices?
And we did.
- Hey.
- [laughs]
Dawn, they're ready
for our run-through.
Those guys got
discovered on TikTok
doing push-ups to the
audio of Reagan being shot.
Anyway, they seem cool.
I say we do a stripped-down
version of "Momentum."
Four stools. One spotlight.
That way, we back-pocket the
dance version for the album
and blow minds.
- [phone buzzing]
- Wow.
Shit. One second.
Hi, hi. I just got, like,
five more emails from Cara.
Can Max do karate on Wednesdays?
Jane's son has peanut
reintroduction on Tuesdays.
- Dawn.
- Okay, love you, bye.
One of my gifts is noticing
inefficient bullshit.
- Why don't they email Scott?
- I don't know.
It's just a bunch of
moms I barely know.
This chain is sexist.
Moms assuming other moms
manage their kids' schedules?
It's 2022. Moms reserve
the right to be terrible.
Thank you.
Wait.
Yeah, like, why does this chick
just automatically
reach out to me?
Vag.
This is a bias we have
to examine as a society.
- Oh, my God, I'm so bored.
- Do it.
"Wednesday works.
Adding Scott in case there's
anything else to hash out."
- Ha ha!
- [laughs]
This is how change happens.
Here we go, the boys of Collab.
All: ♪ Of course I'll wait
till you're ready, girl ♪
- ♪ But like, how long though? ♪
- ♪ How long though? ♪
All: ♪ It's hot to go
slow and steady, girl ♪
♪ But like ♪ [muffled singing]
I mean, come on.
- My guys are hot, huh?
- [all groan]
You rep Collab, Larry?
They live in my hype house.
Well, technically it's
my mother's house,
but she's too sick
to leave her room.
Anyhoo, good luck
out there tonight.
May the best man win.
Well... well, it's
not a competition.
I mean, we're all
on the same label.
- Of course it's a competition.
- Property Records is brand new.
Every new thang
casts a wide net.
But they only push the horse
that's gonna put
them on the map.
Those execs out there are
trying to pick Property's horse.
Ignore him. Mind games.
Remember, when Netflix
started, right?
It was all about
"House of Cards."
- Spacey innocent.
- Ugh!
But that same year, they
also dropped "Bad Samaritans"
starring David Faustino... It
didn't even get a billboard.
I know because I
had a bit part in it
as "Picnic Freak."
Yeah, we both know
their horse'll probably
be the country kid with a lisp
because "inclusion" or whatever.
Is tonight a horse race?
Collab: ♪ One
month? That's cool ♪
[gasps]
That's the exact
same face I make
when I wear adventurous jeans.
Tate is judging
people's reactions.
Well, then we shouldn't leave
anything to the imagination.
Let's do the club
version of "Momentum."
[sighs]
Please welcome Girls5eva!
All: ♪ We got, we got,
we got, we got, we got ♪
♪ We got, we got, we
got, we got, we got ♪
♪ Momentum, yeah,
um, it's our moment ♪
♪ We're contenders ♪
♪ But we can be tender ♪
all: ♪ Unstoppable,
this unst, unst ♪
- ♪ Ain't toppable ♪
- ♪ Toppable ♪
all: ♪ Courageous, don't
care what our age is ♪
♪ Intensity, we're
tens in the city ♪
♪ We're outstanding ♪
♪ Ding, we stand out ♪
♪ We got momentum ♪
[upbeat music]
♪ We're climbing higher ♪
♪ Oh ♪
all: ♪ We got momentum,
we got, we got ♪
- ♪ Momentum ♪
- ♪ We got, we got ♪
- all: ♪ Yeah, we're on fire ♪
- ♪ Momentum! ♪
- All: ♪ We got, we got... ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah! ♪
- It's all right.
- I'll give it back.
Momentum!
Death drop! [Yelps]
- Oh!
- [crowd gasps, cheers]
- [gasps]
- Oh, my God!
Oh, God. I did it.
[laughs] Yeah!
Oh, no. Come on, giddyap.
Keep going!
All: ♪ Storm the
stage, momentum ♪
♪ Broke the cage, momentum ♪
♪ Turn the page, momentum ♪
♪ Time to rage, momentum ♪
♪ Took the wheel, momentum ♪
♪ Stainless steel, momentum ♪
- ♪ Sign the deal, momentum ♪
- ♪ Sign the deal ♪
all: ♪ Guess it's real ♪
♪ We got momentum, we got,
we got, we got, we got ♪
♪ Yeah, we're on
fire, we got, we got ♪
♪ We got, we got,
we got momentum ♪
[cheering and applause]
Shit, I had too much momentum.
[quirky music]
Ugh, I knew the other
shoe was gonna drop.
You got my divorce smite...
Maybe because, you know, you
were the one that pushed me
to ask for it, but
still. It should be me.
Here, Dawn. Bash my knee!
- Come on!
- No.
- Ms. McManus?
- What do you do for a living?
Lay railroad tracks?
Are you in "Stomp"?
- We're a girl group.
- Ah.
Well, your knees absorbed
years of sustained damage.
You need a knee
replacement. [all gasp]
- What?
- No.
You can get a second opinion,
but it will signal to me
that you don't trust
a female doctor.
- [phone ringing]
- It's Tate.
Don't tell him.
- Hey, boy, hey.
- Where'd you guys go?
What? We totally said bye.
You were drunk, bunny.
Well, you blew everyone
away tonight...
So much so that our PR team
wants to start the
promo train now.
[all gasp] Instagram takeovers,
charity concerts, cooking
dog food with Rachael Ray...
Just, like, a million
things, so that by April,
the world will be
begging for your album.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
It's gonna be a ton more work
but I know you're all in.
[laughs] Okay, bye.
- God, we're Property's horse.
- They're betting on us.
Larry was right.
Shit!
How long is the
recovery for this?
- It's a major surgery.
- 12 weeks.
- Oh.
- 12 weeks?
Well, that's a
momentum murderer.
- Maybe Tate will understand.
- Yeah.
They have an April roll out.
They're not gonna want
me to promote their label
post-op from a
Hannibal Lecter board.
Oh, hey, Hoda, I know you booked
us to lead a hip-hop yoga class.
But what if instead,
we just teach America
how to drain an incision sight?
I might watch that.
What would happen
if I put it off?
What do you use to prop
up half-dead NFL players?
Steroid injections, painkillers.
But you'd be in a lot of pain.
And your compensation
patterns could lead to damage
- in your surrounding joints.
- "Could lead."
Not guaranteed though.
Okay, but, Gloria, is this
the best thing for you?
- Come on.
- We have all played through pain.
True.
Summer, did you stop
our Teen Choice duet
with Lou Bega when you found
out your snake was poisonous?
No. I am profesh.
And I definitely
didn't let anyone know
when my gallbladder exploded
at our Live-to-VHS
Christmas Special.
All: ♪ Oops, oh, no, Jesus'
birthday's on Christmas ♪
- ♪ Ho, ho, no ♪
- ♪ Ho, ho, no ♪
all: ♪ He gets an Xbox and
hears it's for both... ♪
- [passionately]
- ♪ Fall on your knees ♪
♪ Oh, hear the angel voices ♪
[ornament shatters]
♪ Night ♪
♪ Divine! ♪
Sure,
I can't digest fatty meats now,
but you don't cut
and run when you have
George Wendt playing Santa.
George freaking Wendt!
[notification chiming]
Well, press starts tomorrow.
Tate just booked us on a
"Spin Magazine" podcast.
- Come on!
- Wait, wait, you guys. Hold on.
Gloria, this is
totally your call.
We are a group, and we
will support your decision
no matter what because we
all believe in self-care.
- Absolutely.
- I'll allow it.
Doc, shoot me up.
I want steroids, stem
cells, Impossible Burger.
Just give me a couple months.
'Cause we are in Album Mode!
- Oh, honey.
- [squeals]
Gloria, in solidarity,
I too will play through pain.
Time to break a heart.
[elegant string music]
Wickie?
Hello, Timothy.
I was so pumped you
wanted to meet up so fast.
I was already in
Midtown buying comics.
I got two Hulks and
the original Cathy
where she finally
decides to kill herself.
Please, Timothy Meadows.
Obviously, I wanna cut ribbons
at steakhouses with you,
meet your boat,
inspire your niece
to go into fashion.
I wanna be there when
a hurricane takes
your childhood home because
the tragedy brings us closer.
But I can't.
I cannot let you Yoko Girls5eva.
I am in Album Mode.
Wait, are you dumping me?
Because we're strangers, miss.
I wrote, "Do you like comics?"
And you wrote for
me to meet you here.
- I can see you're hurt.
- And I'm hurt.
Because it is hard for
me to be the one...
The one that got away.
So I guess I'll pay
for your fish tower?
[phone chimes]
- [notification chimes]
- Shit. Sorry, sorry.
My phone just came
off airplane mode.
I was sort of up.
I think I was weird during
morning announcements.
I said "first and
foremost" three times.
Hey, did you chime in
on all these emails
about buying the karate uniform?
I didn't get any emails.
[gasps] It didn't take.
Cara made a new thread
and left you off.
- She did?
- Oh, my God, your breath.
Yeah, sorry. I smell it too.
I'm coming to drop-off tomorrow.
Album Mode. [Upbeat music]
- All right, love you, buddy.
- Bye!
- Bye.
- The lychees have pits.
♪ ♪
That kid's scooter says Hudson.
- Wait, they all do.
- Hey, mamacita!
Oh, hey, Cara. I'm glad
I ran into you, actually.
Um, so super small,
but I'd love to add Scott
to the karate emails.
Oh, yes. I saw that.
First and foremost, Cara,
with Dawn's girl group,
I am the point person for Max.
And, uh, and... And
first and foremost...
Why do you only email the moms?
- What?
- You only email moms.
I do? So?
Did you ever think about
writing both partners
and whoever knows their
kid's deal writes back?
Not really.
Why not?
Oh, my God.
Am I sexist?
I didn't think I was.
I mean, I have a sequined
pillow of Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
And yet, yeah, I thought,
"I'll just reach out to
the moms about karate."
Why'd I do that?
- I don't know, Cara.
- Do the work.
Maybe it's because I get
put on so many mom emails,
even though I'm a
partner of a law firm
and my husband is a painter.
Or maybe it's because, you know,
moms just feel more comfortable
reaching out to other moms.
Because what if the dad gets
mad if I spam his in box?
And yet why don't I ever
worry about bothering a woman?
Or maybe, if I really
think about it,
there's a tiny, ugly corner
of myself that worries
if I get all the dads' emails...
I might try to
fuck all the dads.
I think we need to embrace
the unknown here, Cara.
Ms. Mara, we want
all the dads' emails.
Those emails are private.
Oh, what am I doing?
My tote bag says,
"Modern Day Goddess."
I'll do it.
[bright music]
Is Hazel finally gonna
get invited to something?
Thank God!
- Have you heard from Gloria?
- No, and I'm worried.
Last night, she couldn't
even bend her knee.
I know. When I drove her home,
she had to ride backwards
with it shoved into that
hole meant for skis.
- Ugh.
- Hey!
- Oh!
- Hi!
- Oh!
- [laughter]
The injections murdered
the inflammation.
- And then I took a Percocet.
- Ooh.
And then I swung by the office
and threw a little novocaine in
and I am all good.
Okay, as long as you're
good, we're good.
But promise me you'll make
the call if its ever too much.
Ooh, just use the
codeword that we had
for visible tampon string
when we did MTV4's "The Grind's
Spring Break Slam Palace."
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
Jack Bauer.
♪ ♪
Obvs. But I feel great.
- And I can get through a podcast.
- Ah!
Look at us.
Four killers in Album Mode.
- Both: Yes!
- And I did what had to be done.
Tim Meadows was heartbroken.
Wait. You met up
with him to end it?
To make it crystal clear
that I cannot be involved
because Album Mode
all in, etcetera.
You just wanted to dump someone.
No, I didn't. I love love.
Wickie?
Wow, look at you.
You look even taller
than your pictures.
Joey Sasso,
winner of the reality
show, "The Circle,"
it's over.
I'm in Album Mode.
[dramatic music]
- Ha.
- Fine.
I'm enjoying the
control for once.
Just let me have this.
You shouldn't be allowed
to use Raya like that, bro.
Oh, hey, it's Girls5eva.
[door buzzes]
Ah!
Clear eyes, numb knee,
can't lose. Let's hit it.
Up here!
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Oh, crap.
- I dropped my lip stuff.
[quirky music]
♪ ♪
Just bring it up
with you. Thanks.
Gloria, again, if it's too
much, you say the word.
I told you, I'm good.
[grunts]
Come on, clomp, clomp.
[jazz music]
[laughs]
Hi.
♪ ♪
- [Wickie laughing]
- Come here. Mwah!
- Hi, hi.
- Hi.
- Mwah.
- Hi.
Hello.
- Living with ease.
- Thank you.
Welcome to mile one of the
Girls5eva press marathon!
[imitates air horn] I'm fun.
So this pod is legit, okay?
This is where Miley first
started smiling with tongue.
Okay? So just be fun,
upbeat, drum up the hype.
[voice fading] Then
we're gonna head...
♪ Imagine a place in
a mountainous forest ♪
♪ A land full of wonder
where all joints are fine ♪
[sweeping music]
♪ A beckoning paw leads
the way to a clearing ♪
♪ Get ready to run with
your new reckless pride ♪
♪ Pink-eyed rabbits
charging on claws ♪
♪ Eternally tender ♪
♪ Pink-eyed rabbits
charging on claws ♪
♪ Eternally tender ♪
♪ Pink-eyed rabbits
charging on claws ♪
♪ Eternally tender ♪
You're listening to
"Pop Goes the Reasel"
with Nathan Reasel," a
deep dive into pop music
sponsored by "Spin Magazine."
My guests today are
mounting a comeback.
You may remember them
as the first women
to wear thong-thong-
thong-thong-thongs
to the White House.
[all laughing]
Welcome, Girls5eva. How
you feeling today, ladies?
- Blessed.
- Great.
- Amazing.
- God-like.
God-like.
Okay.
Now, I hear
you are about to go
back into the studio
to record your first
album since 2k01.
- Now is that accurate?
- Absolutely, Nathan.
We start next week, and
we're just super excited.
[English accent]
I love New York.
I like to eat burgers
and look at the skyline.
Yes, and we're hungry
to get back at it.
- Right, ladies?
- Absolutely.
- Yum, yum. Chomp, chomp.
- [laughs]
We're the best
band in the world,
and anyone who says otherwise
is jealous and senile
and not getting enough
fucking meat pies.
Okay.
Why is Gloria acting all
Liam Gallagher-cocky?
Every time I look in the
mirror, God looks back.
As I said, we are blessed.
Blessed with voices,
voices that can...
♪ Do a little
something like this ♪
- Gloria, are you okay?
- ♪ And do a little something ♪
- ♪ Like that ♪
- If you're not, say Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer.
♪ Because we don't
just smell good ♪
Ah, that's what
I'm talking about.
Now, as a pop music
anthropologist,
I'm always fascinated by
how groups stay together for
a beat, so my question is,
how goes Girls5eva
keep it going?
I think we're all
just super committed.
We know what we want
and we go for it.
Yes, and we're tough, Nathan.
Because in this business,
you have to be, right?
- That's true. That's true.
- That's very true.
Toughness is admirable.
But I often wonder, is it the
very act of being in a group
that's part of what
sustains an artist?
That feeling of safety
that comes from knowing
that no matter what the
music world throws at you,
or how much it takes from you,
you always have that
handful of people
that are looking out for you?
Well, at least that's
what Iron Maiden told me.
[chuckles] Would you all agree?
George Harrison is
a fucking nipple.
[laughs] You are a pill.
Now are you the one
that does the crazy move
that your label rep
was telling me about?
Guilty. Show him, Gloria.
I live for now.
She's gonna really hurt herself.
But we said she can stop
if it's ever too much.
It's better from higher.
Think we only said that
because we knew
she wouldn't stop.
We need to stop her.
Jack Bauer! Get down.
- Oh.
- No!
Yes.
[grunts]
Are y'all all right?
No, we're not.
Nathan, sometimes, the
hardest thing to do
is enter human mode.
[sentimental music]
♪ ♪
Girls5eva needs to take a pause
from our promotional blitz
because one of us needs
urgent medical treatment...
For a rampant sexual addiction,
no further questions.
That'll at least get us into
the "Daily Mail," come on.
- Go! Let's go.
- All right, thank you so much.
- No problem.
- Thank you for coming...
Oh, you just gonna leave with
my sunglasses, all right.
I'm telling you.
You could've ChapSticked
me down all the way
because I still
can't feel a thing.
- The Uber's here.
- Oh, my God.
Thank you so much for
understanding, Tate.
Of course. Wellness first.
There's power in "no."
Boundaries, I see you.
Just get the surg
and feel bett'.
I'll see if we can
pause the promo ramp.
People at the company
respect me a ton,
so I feel really
good about it, okay?
You're gonna wanna Nama-stay
exactly where you are
'cause up next, it's
"Hip-hop Yoga With Hoda."
Joining me is the up and
coming boy band, Collab.
- All: Hey!
- And they are hot, hot, hot.
Well, we just have to make
the most undeniable album
of all time.
Idea.
"Purple Rain," but now.
- How cute is this?
- Aww!
I'm so glad the group
email's working.
- I haven't even checked in.
- Totally. Well...
Cara fucked some dads?
Yeah.
There's always
hiccups with progress.
Mm.
[phone buzzing]
Hi.
She just went in. She's good.
I offered to be the knee donor,
and she's like, "That's
not how this works."
And I'm like, "Okay, dentist."
Okay, we'll be there
when she wakes up.
Guys, I'm really proud of us.
We did empathy. We sacrificed.
My debt with God
is finally paid.
Oh, my God. Is that a skin tag?
What do you want from me, Lord?
Dawn, I'll meet you there.
I have a stop to make
now that I'm experimenting
with human mode.
[quirky music]
♪ ♪
Timothy.
- How'd you find me?
- You geotagged your apartment.
I was rash and a little selfish.
I needed the ego boost
that can only come
from dumping another.
And I know the wound
is still fresh, but...
I'm willing to pry open
Album Mode just a bit.
Can we try again?
We are and will remain
strangers, miss.
Oh, and I met someone.
[upbeat music]
She's gonna meet my boat.
Raya works. [Chuckles]
Good luck. [Car door closes]
An adult man into
comics is just stupid.
♪ ♪
all: ♪ We got, we got ♪
- ♪ We got, we got, we got ♪
- ♪ We got ♪
all: ♪ We got, we got ♪
♪ Momentum, yeah,
um, it's our moment ♪
♪ Moment ♪
♪ We're contenders
but we can be tender ♪
♪ Unstoppable, this unst, unst ♪
- ♪ Ain't toppable ♪
- ♪ Toppable ♪
all: ♪ Courageous, don't
care what our age is ♪
♪ Intensity, we're
tens in the city ♪
♪ We're outstanding ♪
♪ Ding, we stand out ♪
- ♪ We got momentum ♪
- ♪ Momentum ♪
all: ♪ We're climbing higher ♪
♪ Oh ♪
all: ♪ We got momentum,
we got, we got ♪
- ♪ Momentum ♪
- all: ♪ We got, we got-we got ♪
- ♪ Yeah, we're on fire ♪
- ♪ Momentum! ♪
- All: ♪ We got, we got ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah! ♪
♪ ♪
all: ♪ Storm the
stage, momentum ♪
♪ Broke the cage, momentum ♪
♪ Turn the page, momentum ♪
♪ Time to rage, momentum ♪
♪ Took the wheel, momentum ♪
♪ Stainless steel, momentum ♪
- ♪ Sign the deal, momentum ♪
- ♪ Sign the deal ♪
all: ♪ Guess it's real ♪
♪ We got momentum, we got,
we got, we got, we got ♪
- ♪ Yeah, we're on fire ♪
- ♪ Momentum ♪
all: ♪ We got, we
got, we got momentum ♪
- Good night, everybody.
- Good night.
[food crunching]