Girlboss (2017): Season 1, Episode 8 - The Trip - full transcript

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com

[X's "Los Angeles" playing]

[doorbell buzzing]

[lock buzzes]

Sophia, unplug that steamer.

Back away
from the motherfucking keyboard, sister.

Dax is on his way,

and we need to rock 'n' roll.
There is no time for jazz. What's wrong?

Tell me there's a wasp here and buh-bye.

No. This is the first time
I'm seeing Shane post-hern,

and I have no clean undies.



Rock a swimsuit.

I don't have a swimsuit.
What am I, a Kennedy?

I don't have time for your judgments.

I'll go without.

Yeah, girl. Let it breathe.
Don't keep that tiger in a cage.

[car horn honking]

There's Dax.
He got us a convertible for our...

[in unison] Road trip!

Ooh, I know.

Earthquake kit underwear.

Goodnight Moon?
Spectacular end-of-the-world reading.

God, why couldn't I have packed a thong?

Okay. I'm sorry.

This is who you're gonna be
in the New California?



Walking around wearing granny panties,
holding a Discman, listening to what?

- Hootie?
- [car horn honks]

[in unison] Road trip!

- That's the last time we'll say that.
- For sure.

I can make these work.

You better,
'cause you haven't seen Shane in months,

and I saw this website
called Sorority House Sluts,

and all the sluts in that sorority house
were super flexible.

And I'm not suggesting that Shane
has looked at this particular website,

but if he has, all I'm saying is,

the young girls are coming for us,
you better step up your game.

Oh, man. I hate being a woman.

[car horn honking]

[in unison] Road...

Oh, my God. This is better than I thought.

Hey, anything for my girl.

Ooh!

Where did you get this?

- And how will Danny Zuko get to heaven?
- [Annie laughs]

It's my uncle's.

He sounds rad. Love to meet him.

Huh. So, your family is cool,
you're just rebelling against it?

Hey, I'm cool. I spent a night in jail.

It was for a school project.

I got a B-minus.

All right. Let's drop that top and roll.

- Sorry, babe. It's staying up.
- But I had this picture in my head.

Top down, wind on my cheeks.

How is my head scarf gonna fly off my head
as I laugh without a care in the world?

[chuckles]

Come on.

So, what am I supposed to do
with my long cigarette holder?

Not puff on natural tobacco?

We can't drive with the top down
on the freeway.

We'll get shitty gas mileage,
bugs in our teeth,

and I don't wanna have to yell
when I try to explain

how agribusiness is crushing
the small farmer.

Is it the seventh of the month?
'Cause I am cramped back here.

No? Nothing?

'Cause of my monthly?

[Dax] The driver controls the buttons.

[Annie] You focus on driving.

[Dax] When you talk about corporate greed,
you're talking about Monsanto.

- [Annie] Fuck me.
- [Dax] You don't believe me?

[Annie] Ugh! I'm sure they'll get around
to answering all of your questions.

[Dax] Locke's ability to walk,
Smoke Monster, the DHARMA Initiative,

- how fat man never slimmed down...
- Then don't watch. God.

What? And then get it spoiled for me
in the Starbucks line?

[Annie groans]

You want us to come with?

Okay.

Okay. We're in L.A.
Can we please put the top down now?

Yeah. We're so close to the hotel.
I mean, what's the point, you know?

Yeah. Fine.

All right.

[woman] Kick drum, please.

[drum beating]

Floor tom.

[drum beating]

All right, cymbals.

- Whoa!
- Oh!

- Are you okay? I'm sorry.
- Yeah. I'm good. I'm good.

I almost didn't recognize you
without your computer.

Left it at home.

This weekend is about you and me.

[Josh] Uh, lover boy?

Testing, one, two.

Testing my patience.

Check, one, two. Check, one, two.

Sorry, man. This is my girlfriend Sophia.

Sophia, that is Billy, Mickey,
and Dr. Josh.

What's up?

Sophia, huh?

Shane won't shut up about you.

Hey, Shane. I'm feeling a bit nasally,
so, get my Claritin-D before the show.

Since we've been on tour,
have I let you down?

- Tucson.
- That was one time,

and the Rite Aid was out of D.

It's a big city, Tucson. Surprisingly big.
Place like that has a lot of Rite Aids.

- Went to three. None of them had D.
- If it isn't D, why get it at all?

- When sound check is done, I have to go.
- Check with the medical board

- to find out if he's a real doctor?
- Yeah.

It's cool. I'll grab a cab to the hotel.
I'll see you later.

If you swing by Rite Aid,
you should pick up a couple Red Bulls,

and some Band-Aids,
'cause I'm gonna fuck your dick off.

- Whoa! Where did that come from?
- I don't know. The sad thing is,

that phrase was rolling around
in my head for six hours,

and I did nothing to stop it.

[Josh] Talking about a lot of things
that are not Claritin-D.

Okay.

[woman on TV] For the weary traveler...

Okay. I finally washed off that car ride,

and I'm ready to hit reset on this trip.

I'm worried about this show tonight.
Got a feeling it's gonna be me

and a bunch of white dudes,
bobbing their heads like:

"Huh. Gee whiz, Caleb.
This independent rock music's outrageous."

Tonight doesn't matter.
This trip is all about tomorrow.

Ooh, okay. We should go buy a map
of the stars and go find Britney.

She could really use my support right now.

That prime rib does look world-class.

After that whole umbrella incident,
she needs a steady hand on her shoulder,

and I can be that hand.

We just have to find her.

We'll start at a Chevron bathroom.

I already got us tickets
to the Eames House tour.

Oh, yes, right.

The Eames House.

Hmm. Mm-hm.

Yes.

Should I keep pretending to know
what that is or...?

It's an icon
of mid-century modern architecture.

- Architecture. The science of buildings.
- I told you about this last week.

The tour would take most of the day,
but you're gonna love it.

Wait. So, you're telling me
that the entire time I'm in Tinseltown,

not only am I not helping Britney,

but there's a chance
I won't even get to meet Katie Holmes

and learn the secrets of her side smile?

You really think you're gonna meet
Katie and Britney wandering the streets?

No.
But we should be open to the possibility.

Or, yeah, whatever.
Eames House is cool, too.

Okay.

♪ The truth about love
It's great when you're in it ♪

- Who writes this stuff?
- [chuckles]

♪ Comes out of bed
Picks her clothes off the floor ♪

♪ Yesterday... ♪

Hey, okay. Hey, hey, hey.

Penny Lane.

You have gotta stop bumping into me.

I'm so happy to meet you.

Do you wanna get inside the music with me?

Oh... Yes. [chuckles]

- What do you think you're doing?
- Drugs.

She offered them to me.

It would be an insult to her culture
not to take them.

Annie, taking mysterious shit
from strangers is crazy.

It's not mysterious shit. It's drugs.

- Annie.
- Fine.

No drugs for me.

Okay.

♪ By the weekend she'll be over him ♪

♪ It's her routine that is
Keeping it sane ♪

Why the face? You need a conference?

I thought my first trip
with Dax was gonna be amazing,

but we're totally not vibing.

Hmm.

You want me to break up with him for you?

"Dax, Annie's dead. She left no note."

[Annie chuckles]

Man...

I really thought we were soul mates,
you know?

- I mean, we both love weekends.
- [Sophia] Yeah.

- We're great in the boning department.
- [Sophia] Mm-hm.

Now he wants to go take me
to some stupid old boring house.

- To bone?
- [Annie] No.

To, like, look at.

I mean, shit, man.
I can see old houses anywhere.

Stamps, money,

insurance commercials, salsa labels...

I don't know.

[Sophia] I'm sorry.

I'm sure tomorrow will be better
for you guys.

Yeah. Tomorrow is gonna be just fine.

Go. Go to your man.

Mm-hmm? Okay.

Hey. Remember me?

Yeah. Come on in. I'm just pooping.

♪ By the weekend she'll be over him ♪

♪ Over him ♪

[cheering]

Thank you, Los Angeles, I love you.

Could do without those Santa Ana winds,
but...

For our next song,

our tour manager wanted
to do something special for his lady.

So, Shane...

Yeah, everybody, give Shane a hand.

[cheering]

Yes.

Now, all tour long,
this guy here has been giving me the D.

Gratitude, bro.

[Shane playing drums]

Hi.

♪ All I wanna do
When I wake up in the morning ♪

♪ Is see your eyes ♪

♪ Sophia, Sophia ♪

♪ I never thought that a girl like you
Could ever care for me ♪

♪ Sophia ♪

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

What are you doing?

No sorority house sluts
are swooping in here stealing my man.

Get over here.

I did it once in high school.
It's not a big deal.

I saw some pretty colors
and took a nap on the softball field.

Getting acid from a stranger on a toilet?

Damn it, Annie. That's just dumb.

Uh-uh. It's not dumb, it's fun.

Unlike forcing me to use my trip
to Tinseltown to look at a house.

You're being so close-minded.

And you're making your gums recede,
and there's no cure for that.

♪ That's what you get ♪

♪ That's what you get ♪

♪ That's what you get ♪

Whatever. The only way I'm gonna get
through your stupid shack in the woods

is if I'm high as a goddamn kite.

This is moronic, and it's not like you,
and I forbid you to take that acid.

Oh, you forbid me?

I forbid you.

[scoffs] Okay.

[laughs]

- You took the whole thing?
- Yeah.

Call 911.

Whoa, calm down. It's fine.
I'll just spit it out.

Wait. I don't feel it.

- Wait. Do you see it?
- Oh, shit.

I don't see it.

Wait. I got big teeth. Deep pockets.
Look higher up.

No. It's not in there.

Holy fuck.

I was just being dramatic
to prove a point.

- I was gonna spit it out.
- That's not how acid works.

Fuck. Okay...

What do I do?
You wanna tie down all my limbs?

- No. Just quiet. I'm trying to think.
- Okay.

No. What? Why?

You were supposed to babysit me.

Oh. Wait...

Oh... [chuckles]

It was behind my wisdom tooth.

- No, no. It's okay. You spit it out.
- Okay.

- Mm-hmm.
- [coughing]

- Mm-hmm. Yep.
- It's right there. I feel it.

Nope. It's gone.

Okay.

- Bet it's just paper.
- Yeah.

Totally.

This is a bad idea, bad idea, bad idea.

- Stop, stop, stop.
- Bad idea, bad idea...

Stop saying "bad idea."

Idea.

Ooh, do I not know
what the word "idea" is anymore?

We gotta distract ourselves.

- [woman] Come join us at...
- Turn the TV off.

- Where the steaks are world-class...
- The sounds are bright,

and the colors are loud.

Do you hear all those dogs?

This isn't like high school at all.

[Shane] Hey.

Wanna take a shower?

[groans] I'm kind of just waking up.

Come on, it'll be fun.

Never, ever...

pull a soft hotel comforter off a woman.

Hop on my back, I'll take you.

Get on.

I don't care if you're dead,
we're showering together.

That sounded so creepy.

Okay, I know this is fulfilling
some fantasy of yours.

Probably a random summer camp memory.
Not my business.

But I'm cold.

Definitely not getting any cleaner.

I could wash your boobs.

Sure, if you're on your way to my pits.

Yeah.

Mm. Hmm.

All right, let's hit the pool.

We just came from water.
There is more to life than being wet.

You can't stay at a hotel
and not use the pool.

It's like burning money.

Well, unplug the smoke detector,
'cause I'mma light it up.

Okay.

[guitar music playing]

I can feel you moving.

I'm on a boat.

Are you on a boat?

[Annie chuckles]

I am now.

[Dax chuckles]

[Dax gasps]

[Annie] Big Dipper.

[Dax] Little Dipper.

[Annie] Did you just see that?

Is it possible
we're seeing the same thing?

Try switching the space for me.

- [Dax] Do you see it?
- I see...

walls, simple lines...

What is this?

This is Eames.

[Sophia laughs]

- You changed your mind.
- Don't make fun of me.

Only the survivors of the big one
were supposed to see these.

Marco. Marco.

Marco.

Marco.

Your girl made another $400.

Minus shipping, minus service fees,
minus eBay dipping its beak.

No work. Get in,
so we can do that thing

where the girl gets on the guy's shoulders
in the pool for some reason.

Okay, but only if I can get in slow.

Get in fast.

Get in fast. Get in fast.

- Ow, ow, ow!
- Ooh!

[both laughing]

Okay.

Nice.

Oh, goodness.

[shivering]

[Josh] Yo, lover boy.

- Lover boy.
- Yeah?

- I need a cab.
- Okay, just a minute.

- Whoa, is this for real?
- It's cool.

No, I will give you three reasons
why it's not cool, doctor.

One, what?

Two, there are plenty of people
who work here

whose only job is to get cabs,

and three, get it yourself,
Claritin D-bag.

She's a lot.

I know what you're really after.
You're gonna miss me.

You needed a goodbye hug.

Come on.

Tucson is bygones, buddy.

It only took two days to build that frame.

[Annie] How do you know all of this?

Before business school,
I took classes in architectural drafting.

I loved it.
We used these really great pencils.

We'd put them
in these hand-cranked sharpeners.

[whirring]

- It was great.
- I've never used a pencil.

That's not true.

Are you sure you didn't
wanna order any fries from here?

They're so good.
None of that crinkle-cut bullshit.

Nah, I'm not that hungry.

All right, your burger will be out soon.

I'm still checking to see
if we can make a quesadilla.

I mean,
it's just cheese and flat bread, right?

Found this purse the other day,
behind this blanket

that I'm 99 percent sure a man died under,
but the beading on this thing was crazy.

I mean, Bob Mackie meets,
I don't know, Jesus' orgasm.

Old-school Gucci, you know?
So, definitely handmade

- by some badass Italian broads.
- Yeah.

You should see my apartment.
It is completely unrecognizable.

Totally out of control. Fully packed.

Things are just really blowing up for me.

What's wrong?

That burger sitting weird?

Nothing's wrong.

Yes, there is.

So, just say it.

Hey, I went swimming.

In my undies.

Would you stop pretending
to look for something? Shit.

I'm looking for my ChapStick.

Oh, what, was that the first thing
that popped into your head?

Shane.

It was the fries. I like to wait,
so I can eat them with my burger.

- That's what you're pissy about?
- Yeah.

Okay.

Sorry I ate too many fries.

They were my fries.
You said that you didn't want any.

Then you took all of them
because that's what you do.

Dude,
you're gonna have to learn how to share.

You... You're totally missing the point.

- Which is what?
- Which is that you do whatever you want.

- It's selfish.
- Since when do I do whatever I want?

Are you kidding me? Always.

No one always does anything.

Okay, today at the pool,
that shit you pull in front of Josh?

Oh, you mean Dr. Josh?

- Yeah.
- Dude, that guy is a tool.

I would never let anyone speak to me
the way he speaks to you.

- Yeah, well, I was doing my job.
- Really?

You attacked me
when I was trying to do my job.

I didn't attack...

You attacked me
when I even glanced at my phone.

Don't give me the "doing my job" thing.

Can't you apologize for eating the fries?

- They were just fucking fries!
- Lower your voice.

- Don't tell me what to do.
- Because you do whatever you wanna do.

Oh, I'm bored. Just call me a bitch
and get it over with.

- I'm not gonna do that.
- Fine. I'll do it.

I'm a bitch. I'm the devil.

Mm... You're so perfect.
Sophia, she's a monster.

Don't do that. Grow up.

I am so sick of people telling me
I'm not a grown-up.

I run a fucking business.
What is it that you do?

This is insane.

You get that I dropped everything,
just to come see you this weekend.

Right? Just for you?

Mm-hmm.

For what?
To watch you get an adult man a cab?

I'm a tour manager, Sophia.
I manage people.

Client asked me to get him a cab,
I got him a cab,

ensuring that he'd wanna work
with me again in the future.

It's called professionalism.

Yeah, well, I'd never put up with that.
And maybe that's why I'm doing so great.

You would get so fired from my job,

because it's not
for self-absorbed narcissists.

I would never do your job.

It's a joke.

Fucking glorified errand boy.

Well, thank you for a terrible end
to an otherwise great weekend.

Do whatever the fuck you want
for the rest of the day.

[Annie] I'm feeling a lot
of things right now.

Like what?

Things like...

you're embarrassed of me,
because you think I'm flighty.

You're not flighty.

You're the fireworks.

You're Pop Rocks.

You're birthday cake,
every day of the week.

[chuckles]

Well...

then why haven't I met your parents?

We've been together a whole year,

and they only live 20 minutes away.

I MapQuested it.

- There's a reason.
- Is it because you think I'm dumb?

I still don't understand the difference

between partly sunny and partly cloudy.

Partly cloudy is at night,
when there's no sun.

[chuckles]

And you're not dumb.

It took me a long time
to figure that cloudy thing out, too.

[laughs]

Well, then what is it?

Well...

[sighs]

you're white.

And my parents...

It's gonna be this whole thing.

And you don't wanna deal with it,
'cause you're not sure about me.

You're the only thing that I'm sure of.

I just don't wanna deal with it
because they're crazy.

[laughs]

I'm serious.

I mean, most black parents are cool
with stuff like that, but not my parents.

I'll charm 'em. You'll see.

I love you, Annie.

I love you, too.

[Lanie Lane's "Heartbeat" playing]

Man,
you would've killed it as an architect.

I'm not a very good drawer.

[Annie] Mm.

See, I hold my pencils like this.

[laughs]

- No.
- I really do.

♪ The world's gone for you ♪

♪ You're mine ♪

♪ Things exactly
Our heartbeat ♪

Sorry.

♪ And your heart beats ♪

♪ And I'm gonna thank you ♪

♪ Though your heart beats now... ♪

[Shane sighs]

You said some pretty mean things up there.

I did.

I get really mad
when people are right about me.

Well, I said some pretty mean things
up there, too.

Is the only reason we're together
because we've been apart for so long?

I don't know.

Do you wanna find out?

Yeah.

[Lanie Lane's "Ain't Hungry" playing]

Come on, get in.

No.

- No, no, no, no!
- Come on.

These granny panties are made
of one long old grandma waistband.

They will not survive the... No!

♪ Breakfast, brunchin'
We don't ever get hungry ♪

♪ We forgot lunch
Don't need food at our party ♪

♪ Dinner, supper
What do they mean? ♪

♪ By the middle of the morning
We're dripping with the sweat ♪

♪ Of lovers who don't got nothin'
And no regret ♪

♪ Middle of the afternoon in the shower
Red-hot water running with a keen desire ♪

♪ Middle of the morning
We're dripping with the sweat ♪

♪ Breakfast, brunchin'
We don't ever get hungry ♪

♪ We forgot lunch
Don't need food at our party ♪

♪ Dinner, supper
What do they mean? ♪

♪ Back in our room
Just sit here, sipping cider ♪

♪ He said, don't you look pretty
Sitting in no attire ♪

♪ But ain't that the way
It's supposed to be ♪

♪ If we were down in the jungle
Nothin' strange to see ♪

♪ Back in our room
Still sittin' here, sippin' cider ♪

♪ Breakfast, brunchin'
We don't ever get hungry ♪

♪ We forgot lunch,
Don't need food at our party ♪

♪ Dinner, supper
What do they mean? ♪