Girlboss (2017): Season 1, Episode 10 - Vintage Fashion Forum - full transcript

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com

Hello, Vintage Fashion Forum.

I have an emergency on my hands.
Pun intended.

Please help date these gloves, ASAP.
Pics attached.

[Betsy] Those gloves are the bee's knees,

the cat's pajamas,
and the duckling's waddle all in one!

Def from 1950s.

Watch the caps lock, Skirt_Russell.

The pattern on the cuff means they're
from the '30s.

To shop TimesAndTreasures, click here.

As the moderator, I must remind you



that this thread is only to talk about
our decline in sales.

ItTakesAVintage, please start
a separate thread for your gloves,

which are from the '40s
and are clearly Nazi gloves.

Great find.

Good eye, Gail,
and even better moderating.

Thanks, Frederick.

We have fun here.

[keyboard playing]

Can we please ban GIFs?

They're more distracting
than they are cute.

Plus, they trigger my epilepsy.

Separate thread.

As I was saying, we have all been hit
by a lull in sales the past few months.

And I don't think it's a coincidence that
it started when you-know-who showed up.



Spot on again, Gail.

Nasty Girl has sullied the sanctity
of vintage fashion.

Like slapping a butt patch
on a pair of gabardine slacks.

BRB! Gonna see
if my hummingbirds came back.

Made a homemade suet...

First off, it's Nasty Gal.

Second, this message board should be
called David Lynch's Elephant Man,

because it's full of freaks
and sad as fuck.

You all saw that post, right?

It's gone now, but I saw it.

Was that the Nasty Gal?

She called us freaks.

Even worse, she completely missed
the point of The Elephant Man.

Everybody, stop.

She's reading all these posts,
laughing her rear end off.

We are not freaks.

Let's not give her any ammunition
to make fun of us.

No hummies, guys.
Hope my cat didn't eat them again.

What'd I miss?

Fine, fine, I deleted it.

Do not engage.

You do not come across fun online.

It wasn't even my best burn.

I got good ones.

Ones so mean,
they make you cry with your mouth open.

No! Let sleeping dogs lie.

I never got that saying.

If I come upon sleeping dogs,
I'm gonna wake them up.

It's 2:00 p.m., dogs.
Why you sleeping so much?

[chuckles]

Oh, they are still talking shit about me.

Skirt_Russell just Photoshopped my head
onto an ostrich's body.

- [Annie] What?
- Even their insults are weak.

Basically, they're saying I'm long, lean,
have nice bone structure, run really fast.

Lay the dopest eggs.

[Sophia] I don't care.
I can't have these dick licks

putting neggy vibes out there about me.
It affects my business.

Oh! Sorry, vintage fashion nerds.
Get out your aloe vera

'cause you about to get hit
with a third-degree burn!

Sophia! Do not engage!

The Internet is the most powerful force
in the universe.

You're right.

I won't engage.

I'll just silently observe
until the hatred boils inside of me

and gives me severe acid reflux

and I can't enjoy
my favorite foods anymore.

Hey! So, I took it upon myself

to organize your inventory binders.

Ooh! Nice.

You make this place look cool as shit.

Oh, stop.

But keep going, and slowly,
'cause I like it. [chuckles]

I'll finish the rest after my shift.

We need something over here.
I'll know it when I see it.

Get it, girl, money's no object.

Hey, don't forget. Today's the last day
to ship that order to London.

Yes.

Solid reminder.

Can you believe it? We inter-natch.

We inter-natch for days.

We inter-natch for datch!

- We inter-natch for datch, batch!
- [laughs]

- Love you, in case I die.
- Love you, in case I die.

♪ Can't pass the people, can't pass the...
Hit me! ♪

[James Brown's "Get on the Good Foot"
continues playing]

♪ Get on down now ♪

♪ I'm gonna get on the good foot ♪

Yo, Annie! Jump in!

No, thanks. I'm a responsible adult
on her way to work.

The last thing I have time for is...

this!

- [yelling]
- [all cheering]

Who wants to see some fly shit?

[cheering continues]

Here's the fly shit. Here's the fly shit.

Here's the fly shit. Here's the fly shit.

Ooh! Yeah! Here it comes!

Here it comes!

Here it comes!

[whooping and cheering]

Bye, Annie!

♪ I got to do it on the good foot ♪

♪ Come on! ♪

♪ Get it! ♪

Hey, Pilar.

Question.

Do you think I should take...

urban dance classes?

No one's gonna think you're racist
if you use the word "urban."

But I can't say churro?

That's different. In the context
you used it, it sounded very racist.

- Receipt's in the bag.
- Thank you.

So, I got the call.

[gasps] You got the Amazing Race?
Who's your partner?

Don't take your busted mom.
She's just gonna drag you down.

No, it's better than that.

- I got promoted.
- [both scream]

- Pilar!
- [both laughing]

Congratulations.

- Can I help you with something?
- Moisturizers.

Aisle one.

- Walk with me.
- [woman] Where?!

Here's the thing.

I'm getting a new office over at 525,

which is what us in corporate
call the place we work.

- I don't even know what street it's on.
- Mm.

And when I go,
I want you to take over my job.

Be the new manager.

Wait, for real? Me?

Duh, you were born to manage people.

And I'm sure as shit
not gonna promote Gina.

Man, going on birth control did not have
the desired effect on her social life.

Yesterday, I saw her alone in her car
eating an ear of corn.

What?

So, what do you say?

[Annie] Mm.

Me as manager? [chuckles]

Yeah, I think I can see it.

I always wanted to be drunk on power.

Hey, Gina! Unpack those new eyeliners
and spit that gum out of your mouth!

I'm sorry.

Oh, oh, God, no.
No, no. That felt terrible.

But also kind of great.

You'll get used to it.

I mean, I personally
would have let the gum thing go.

But you'll learn
what hills are worth dying on.

Having met Sophia,

I wouldn't be surprised if there's
shill bidding going on at Nasty Gal.

"Shill bidding," for any newbs,
is when you have friends

enter fake auction bids
to drive up the price on real bidders.

"Newbs" is Internet slang for new people.

The Internet is... Hee-hee, JK,
we have fun here.

[singing "Peanut Butter Jelly Time"]

Gail, you met Nasty Gal?

Catch up, Betsy.

I met her a while ago.
There's a whole other thread about this.

HTTP, colon, back slash, back slash,

www.forums.VFforum,

back slash threads, back slash 6834.

Sorry, one sec.

Wow, I just read the whole thing!

Caps lock.

So, get this. I just got back
from my ear, nose and throat specialist,

and he said I have problems in all three.

That's unfortunate,

but what's most unfortunate
is that it's off-topic.

Now, who out there has evidence
of Nasty Gal's shill bidding?

Oh, no. Not cool.

[sighing] Forgive me, Father,
for I must engage.

Hi. Long-time lurker here.

I just wanted to tell you how much light
and beauty you've brought into my life.

You all sell with such integrity.

As the moderator,
I must note this is off-topic.

But thank you.

This is the forum to discuss
Nasty Gal's ethics or lack thereof.

If you have a civilized way to bash her,
lock and load!

Nasty Gal.

I feel like I need to scrub
my browser history

every time I visit her site.

LOL. LOL.

LOL. LOL.

LOL. LOL.

But I don't think she's shill bidding.

I was once the only bid
on a Nasty Gal top,

and I got it for a very low price, $69.

Sixty-nine? That's very fair.

Yes, 69 is fair for both parties.

Agreed.
Both parties were completely satisfied.

[chuckling]

[sighs]

With all due respect,
this is your first time on this forum

and you're immediately defending
the enemy. It seems suspicious.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought you were a group
of like-minded individuals

who might embrace someone
with a wallflower lifestyle.

I just have a hard time connecting
with people.

I spent all morning
practicing my hello to the mailman,

but when he came by, he was just so fast.

Just threw the Valpak in there and ran.

Silver lining:

if anyone's looking to install
an above-ground pool,

I have a 20-percent-off coupon.

- If you're not gonna use it...
- If we're being honest,

I bought a pencil skirt from Nasty Gal
at a reasonable price.

Maybe we've been too hard on her?

Maybe.

I wouldn't wanna be a part
of an Internet witch hunt.

Right, Sharon?!

[Annie] Me, neither.

Shouldn't this be a safe space
to talk about our passions?

AnnieGreenGables,
welcome to the forum for 'em.

9-11 was an inside job!

- Troll!
- Mods!

Nerds. Uggos. Pwned!

Banned him.
Let's continue our civilized discussion.

I mean, it's possible that Building 7
was a controlled demolition.

No. Locking the thread.

[cell phone chimes]

- Hey, you wanna go eat?
- Totally. I'm starving.

Hey, Gina, you wanna come to lunch?

Is it far?

It is, but I'll grab you some Sun Chips.

If they don't have Harvest Cheddar,
I'm not interested.

Okay.

[Annie] Sucks they only had original.

Hey, can we stop at Walgreens
on the way back? Gina really needs a win.

Sure. She's your problem now.

Yeah, I don't know. I've been thinking.

I'm not sure about being manager.

It's a big commitment.
A lot more hours, more responsibility.

Since when have you been afraid of work?

Don't you want a shot at an actual career?

Ah, maybe someday.

If I have a career before I get married,
then I become unmarriable.

You don't actually think that.

No. [chuckles]

[sighs]

I'm just afraid that if I become manager,

it'll force me
to give up working at Nasty Gal.

Your friend's eBay store?
What do you even do there?

A lot. I organize the whole office,
I do makeup on all her shoots,

I basically run the PR Department.

It's fun,
and I get to work with my best friend.

I don't wanna give that up.

If that's the case,
why not work at Nasty Gal full-time?

'Cause it's not even,
like, a real job yet.

Sophia doesn't even pay me.

I mean, she totally could.
I've never asked her.

- I should ask her.
- Yeah, you should.

Then again, a career in makeup
has always been my dream.

I just don't know what to do.

[gasps]

This is your Sliding Doors moment.

You know, I never saw that movie.

I bought a ticket and then didn't go.

I always wondered
where my life would be if I'd seen it.

Well, just... think about
what makes you happy.

Then you'll know what to do.

How about this marketing idea:
free samples at the DMV.

Then every time they look
at their kick-ass driver's license,

they'll say, "Damn,
those products make me look good."

Hey, look at this little guy.

[soft rock playing]

[Sophia] Annie? Annie, I need your help.

- ♪ I'm gonna take it easy ♪
- Right here, Sophia.

I've got all this vintage stuff.

♪ I'm gonna let my worry... ♪

Singapore called.
They need a million more blazers.

Typical Singapore.

Don't worry.

[dings]

I just filled the order.
They should be getting them... now.

Annie, what will I ever do without you?

Oh, it's not like I'm a hero.

[rattling]

[grunts]

- [glass shattering]
- [explosion]

- [exhales]
- You just saved Nasty Gal.

Someone's getting another raise.

- [footsteps]
- Annie. Let's get married on horseback,

which, contrary to what I've been saying,
is really cool. [exclaims]

Oh!

[grunts]

["I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend
How to Dance with You" playing]

♪ You are the girl ♪

♪ That I've been dreaming of ♪

She only took one urban dance class.

♪ You are the girl
That I've been dreaming of ♪

Annie, come on. I don't like
to leave Gina alone for too long.

Okay, just one sec.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I can't find the extra shipping labels.
Oh, my God. Are those meditating frogs?

- Are they too much?
- Too much?

If those Zen motherfuckers are wrong,
I don't wanna be right.

One of them has a gimpy foot and I didn't
have the heart to leave her there.

So, I got 'em both.

I had to. They're best friends.

- They're our amphibian doppelgangers.
- Exactly.

So, Sophia.

There is something
I wanna talk to you about.

Anything to do with the shipping labels,
specifically their current location?

No. I mean, they're, um, on your desk.
They've been there the whole time.

But, no, it's something else.

- I've been promoted to manager at work.
- Annie, that's great!

Holy crap. Look at us, we own this town.
Suck it, Nash Bridges.

Yeah, but, um...

I'm not gonna take it,

because I'd rather work here with you.

Aw, that's sweet.
I like working with you, too.

I mean, for real.

Yeah, totes for real.

Hey, can you grab me
those shipping labels?

Um...

Sophia, I'm trying to say that I wanna
work here with you officially.

As an employee.

You mean, like I... I pay you money?

You have a job.

Yes, and I would like to have a new one,
where we work here together.

There's no job for you here.

Why not?

I know you can afford me and...

it's not like I'm not already
doing everything.

Well...

if it's really about the money,
maybe you should take that promotion.

Oh...

Okay. Yeah, I get it. Good to know.

You know what, I have an appointment
with a vendor, so...

I gotta go.

Are we cool?

Yeah, totes cool.

Bye.

Now, technically,
the rules of eBay do state

we should not be linking
to external websites.

I'm totally with Gail on this one.
That is what the rules say.

But it is a gray area since we all do it,
including you, Frederick.

Couldn't agree more.
Glad you called me out. I deserved that.

Seeing as we all do it on eBay,
I see no reason

to stop TimesandTreasures from linking
to their site on this message board.

Thank you. To shop TimesandTreasures,
click here.

I will not click there.
I beg you to reconsider, mod.

Apologies.
I know how you dislike getting off-topic,

but I must take back everything I said
about Nasty Gal.

As moderator, I will let it slide.
Please continue.

A friend of mine,

we'll call her Ramona Quimby,

just had a horrible encounter
with Nasty Gal.

So, I can no longer vouch for her
as a seller or as a person.

This is what I've been saying all along.

Hey, totally normal people
leading totally interesting lives.

Just making an unbiased observation here.

AnnieGreenGables praised Nasty Gal
earlier and now she's flip-flopping.

Why should we believe anything she says?

This is a safe place in which people
are allowed to change their minds,

especially when it's pointing
out the shortcomings of Nasty Gal.

I just think, again,
as an unbiased observer,

that you're all ganging up on Nasty Gal
for no reason.

Don't know why you're defending Nasty Gal.
She can defend herself.

She can do everything herself.

I'm sure she can. She certainly
wouldn't turn to you, Internet stranger.

No one cares when they use all caps?

- [computer chimes]
- What was that all about?

I am away from my computer right now.

Hello?

Come on. Where are you?

What's up, girl?
It's Jake from high school.

Been a minute.

Still as hot as I remember?

I know you're there.

So, what's your sitch?

Single? It's complicated?

'Cause we can make it complicated.

Oh, that's real nice. Go invisible on me.

You're like a six at best.

I'm here now. What do you want?

What do I want?

Are you seriously that upset
about me not hiring you?

Sophia, I help you with everything.

I'm sorry.

I thought you were helping me
because you're my friend.

Of course I was.

But I thought that you, as a friend,
would want me, your friend,

to be a part of Nasty Gal.

But Nasty Gal is my thing.

You haven't been doing it alone
and you know it.

What are you talking about?

"You've made this place look cool as shit.

Thanks for always having my back.

We inter-natch."

I'm the one who created this company
from nothing.

I'm the vision. I'm Nasty Gal.

Everything you do could be done
by an intern.

I'm sorry, but you're...

Watch it.

Replaceable.

What?

Just say it.

Fuck you.

Fuck me? Fuck you.

No. Fuck you.

Fuck you!

- I quit.
- You can't quit a job that you don't have.

No, I quit this.

Us.

You wanna leave? Great.

I don't need someone hanging on
to my coattails.

I was fine before you,
and I'll be fine after you.

ItTakesAVintage,
if you are cleaning your gloves

with anything other than a damp cloth,
you are, quite frankly, a monster.

Ditto. And don't get me started
on proper storage.

Not again.

Do not get him started!

All right, jabronis. Let's do this.

- Sophia.
- OMFT.

Sorry, typo. I meant, oh, my fucking God.

Yeah, it's your gal.

Your Nasty Gal. And I don't give two shits
what you all think.

Honestly, I'd be worried
if you weren't hating on me.

Because I know every second
that you spend thinking about me

comes from a deep-rooted fear
that you'll never be me.

You think your sales are low now?

I'm gonna go
through your seller feedback,

track down each of your customers

and add them to my ever-growing list
of Myspace friends,

which is currently at 67,000.

And all it takes is one post
from me to make sure

none of you ever have another sale
in the 21st century.

Where did she get that self-esteem?

I am closing this thread.

Remember, this is a private thread
no one else can see. So, speak freely.

I avoid driving downtown
because it scares me!

About Nasty Gal.

What are we going to do about her?

She's threatening our livelihoods.

She's completely lost her mind.

We all eventually lose our minds.

Did no one read the link I sent
about chemtrails?

Find another outlet, Sharon.
We're all worried about you.

BRB, my cat's caught
in the recliner again.

Maybe we just ignore her
and hope for the best?

- To shop TimesandTreasures, click here.
- Okay, enough TimesandTreasures.

I don't care if we all link
to our sites on eBay.

The rules say we shouldn't,

and we shouldn't be
allowed to here either.

Hold the vintage rotary phone,
that gives me an idea.

Gail, I think we're thinking
the same thing.

What if we all took down our site links
on our eBay listings?

We strangle her with a phone cord.

Let's do Gail's thing.

That way, Sophia would be the only one
linking to an external website.

So, when we all report her,
eBay will have to reprimand her.

I'm in.

I'm also in.

In.

In.

A little Vaseline
and she popped right out.

What'd I miss?

Gosh darn it, Betsy. Scroll up!

I'm in.

[music playing over radio]

What the...?

"Dear Nasty Girl Vintage,

after reviewing your eBay account,

we have found violations
of the User Agreement.

As a result,
we have taken the following actions.

Your eBay account has been
suspended indefinitely.

Please be advised, you are prohibited
from using eBay in any way.

This includes the registering
of a new account."

[Kaiser Chiefs' "I Predict A Riot"
playing]

No.

This can't be right.

[keyboard clacking]

♪ Ooh, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ I predict a riot ♪

♪ I predict a riot ♪

♪ I predict a riot ♪

♪ I predict a riot ♪

♪ And if there's anybody left in here ♪

♪ That doesn't want to be out there ♪

♪ I predict a riot ♪

♪ I predict a riot ♪

♪ I predict a riot ♪

♪ I predict a riot ♪

♪ I tried to get in my taxi ♪

♪ A man in a tracksuit attacked me ♪

♪ He said that he saw it before me ♪

♪ Wants to get things a bit gory ♪

♪ Girls run around with no clothes on ♪

♪ To borrow a pound for a condom ♪

♪ If it wasn't for chip fat
They'd be frozen ♪

♪ They're not very sensible ♪

♪ Ooh, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ Ooh, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ I predict a riot ♪

♪ I predict a riot ♪

♪ And if there's anybody left in here ♪

♪ That doesn't want to be out there ♪

♪ I predict a riot ♪

♪ I predict a riot ♪

♪ I predict a riot ♪

♪ I predict a riot ♪