Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 4, Episode 19 - Afterboom - full transcript

PREVIOUSLY ON GILMORE GIRLS:

RORY GILMORE.

YOU'RE TAKING THIS
CLASS? YES, I AM.

WONDERFUL. I LOOK FORWARD TO IT.

I'M SUING YOUR COMPANY.

MY LAWYERS WILL BE
CONTACTING YOU MONDAY MORNING.

FLOYD, YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS.

WHICH P.I. DID YOU
HAVE ON ME, DAD?

PALUSO, I ASSUME?

HE'S THE BEST. HE
GETS EVERYTHING.

IT'S HOW I FOUND OUT YOUR
DAUGHTER IS DATING MY SON.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

YOU'LL COME BACK TO THE FIRM.

HAVE YOUR OWN COMPANY
UNDER OUR UMBRELLA.

AND JASON IS OUT.

JASON'S OUT.

HEY.

OH, I LEFT A TIP THIS TIME.

AND I DIDN'T PUT IT
UNDER THE WATER GLASS,

I KNOW YOU HATE
IT, AND I MADE SURE

IT DIDN'T TOUCH THE
SYRUP, THAT MAKES IT STICKY

AND I DIDN'T LEAVE THE
LAST DOLLAR IN PENNIES

JUST TO GET RID OF THEM. I KNOW.

WHY ARE YOU RUNNING DOWN
THE STREET, YELLING AT ME?

I WASN'T RUNNING, I WAS WALKING.

I WASN'T YELLING, I WAS TALKING.

OH, WHAT DID YOU SAY? HEY.

OH, HEY. YOU ARE A LOT OF WORK.

NO, YOU ARE A LOT OF WORK.

YOU'RE HEADING IN
THERE? YES. I NEED STAMPS.

YOU HEADING IN THERE?

YES. I'M GETTING MY DIVORCE.

WHAT?

YEAH.

YOU'RE GETTING A... A
MAIL-ORDER DIVORCE?

THESE ARE THE PAPERS
WE HAD DRAWN UP BEFORE.

I JUST HAVE TO SIGN THEM.

AND YOU'RE SIGNING
THEM IN THERE?

THERE'S A NOTARY IN THERE.

LUKE, THAT IS A MAIL BOXES, ETC.

SO?

SO YOU BUY ENVELOPES
AT A MAIL BOXES, ETC.

YOU DON'T GET DIVORCED
AT A MAIL BOXES, ETC.

WHY NOT? BECAUSE I
DON'T... IT'S NOT DIGNIFIED.

WELL, CRAPPING OUT IN A MARRIAGE

ISN'T THAT DIGNIFIED,
EITHER, BUT I DID THAT.

I JUST WANT TO GET THIS
OVER WITH. IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.

I JUST NEED TO SIGN A PAPER.

YOU'RE ENDING A MARRIAGE.

I'M SIGNING A PAPER.

THAT SAYS YOU'RE ENDING A
MARRIAGE. PLEASE LET ME DO THIS.

WHY DON'T YOU GO
TO A LAWYER'S OFFICE?

I HATE LAWYERS.

HOW ABOUT A FRIEND'S HOUSE?

DOUGIE AND SCOOTER
ARE OFF AT CAMP.

THIS IS WRONG.

THIS IS FINE. THIS IS PRACTICAL.

GETTING A DIVORCE
SHOULD NOT BE PRACTICAL.

BUT I ONLY HAVE 20 MINUTES
UNTIL I HAVE TO BE BACK AT WORK.

A DIVORCE SHOULD NOT BE RUSHED.

FOR SOMEONE WHO'S NEVER
ACTUALLY BEEN THROUGH A DIVORCE,

YOU SURE KNOW A LOT ABOUT IT.

YOU SHOULD TAKE A
FEW MINUTES TO THINK.

I HAVE THOUGHT. IT'S
OVER. I KNOW IT'S OVER.

AND ALL I HAVE TO
DO IS GO IN THERE

AND SIGN THIS PAPER
IN FRONT OF A NOTARY

AND THEN IT'S OFFICIALLY OVER.

I'M FINE. PLEASE,
I'M BEGGING YOU.

LET ME GET DIVORCED.

ALL RIGHT, THEN.

GO AHEAD. THANK YOU.

I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED STAMPS.

I CAN GET THEM LATER.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I JUST THOUGHT I'D
GIVE YOU SOME PRIVACY.

I'M NOT TAKIN' A SHOWER,
I'M SIGNING A PAPER.

I'LL COME BACK LATER.

WILL YOU PLEASE GET IN
THERE AND BUY YOUR STAMPS?

OK, FINE.

LOTS AND LOTS OF WORK.

WELCOME TO MAIL BOXES,
ETC. HOW MAY I HELP YOU?

YOU GO AHEAD.

I NEED TO GET
SOMETHING NOTARIZED.

TERRIFIC. WE ARE
HAPPY TO HELP YOU

WITH ALL OF YOUR MAILING
AND NOTARIZING NEEDS.

I WILL NEED YOU TO FILL OUT
YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS,

AND THEN I WILL
NEED A THUMBPRINT.

I KNOW HOW IT WORKS, KIRK.

YOU HAVE A PEN?

I HAVE A PEN.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU TODAY?

I CAN WAIT TILL HE'S DONE.

SHE NEEDS STAMPS. I CAN WAIT...

JUST GET YOUR STAMPS.
JUST GET YOUR STAMPS.

BUT, I... OH, MY GOD, THE WORK.

I NEED STAMPS.

WELL, YOUR TIMING IS PERFECT.

THE BREAKFAST-FOOD SERIES
JUST CAME OUT LAST WEEK.

OH! LOOK AT THE DANCING TOAST.

AREN'T THEY A KICK?

AND HERE IS OUR CARTOON SERIES.

HEY, DO YOU HAVE ANY
LUCILLE BALLS LEFT?

YES, I HAVE SOME BALLS.

I'M SORRY. ARE YOU A FAN OF

THE '50s/MID '60s
SITCOM HEROINES?

I DON'T KNOW. AM I?

I THINK YOU ARE.

BEWITCHED? I LOVE BEWITCHED.

ME, TOO. DR. BOMBAY WAS
A BIG INFLUENCE ON ME.

OH, MY GOD. SERENA?

I WANTED TO BE
SERENA WITH THAT HAIR.

AND THE MINISKIRTS.

AND THE GROOVY,
PSYCHEDELIC MUSIC.

DID YOU PRACTICE THE TWITCH?

WHO DIDN'T PRACTICE THE TWITCH?

TABITHA WAS SO LUCKY.

AND WHAT EVER HAPPENED
TO HER LITTLE BROTHER, ADAM?

THEY DETERMINED IN EPISODE 242

THAT HE WAS A
WARLOCK, AND THEN...

I'M TRYING TO GET DIVORCED HERE.

SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

REMEMBER WHEN ENDORA
CALLED HIM DERWOOD?

SORRY.

♪

♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪

♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪

♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪

♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW, OH ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪

OH, MAN. BEAT UP
THE TOASTER AGAIN?

THE DAMN THING STOPPED WORKING.

YOU COULD GET ANOTHER
ONE. THIS'LL BE FINE.

SURE. AS SOON AS
IT LEARNS ITS PLACE.

YOU GONNA GO 10 ROUNDS
WITH THE COFFEE MAKER, OR...

THANK YOU.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR THUMB?

IT'S FROM THE
THUMBPRINT YESTERDAY.

I THOUGHT THEY HAD
INKLESS PADS NOW.

THEY DO, KIRK DOESN'T.

MMM, RIGHT.

HE HASN'T EVEN HEARD OF
THEM. HE USES THE STUFF THAT

CAME IN THE NOTARY
KIT HE SENT AWAY FOR.

I'VE BEEN SCRUBBING
MY THUMB FOR 2 DAYS.

I'VE TRIED SOAP, CLEANING FLUID.

HAVE YOU TRIED FIRE?

NOW, NOT ONLY AM I DIVORCED,
EVERY TIME I LOOK AT MY BLACK THUMB,

I'M REMINDED THAT I'M DIVORCED.

SORRY ABOUT YOUR THUMB.

IT'S OK. I HAVE ANOTHER ONE.

YOU KNOW WHAT MIGHT
MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?

WHAT?

HANDING ME A CHERRY DANISH.

IT'S CERTAINLY WORTH A TRY.

OUT. BUT I JUST GOT MY COFFEE.

FOLLOW THE THUMB.

HELLO? WHO IS THIS?

THIS IS LORELAI GILMORE.

NO, THIS IS LORELAI GILMORE.

OOH, GHASTLY.

SO YOU HAVE MY PHONE.

YES, YOU LEFT IT IN THE KITCHEN.

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS,
DON'T YOU? YOU MISS MOMMY.

YES, OR THAT THE REFRIGERATOR
WAS EMPTY, AND I ORDERED FOOD.

OH, THAT MAKES MUCH MORE SENSE.

JUST HOLD ONTO IT. I'LL GET
IT FROM YOU WHEN I SEE YOU.

OK. OOH, HOLD ON, HON.

HELLO?

SO I'M OFFICIALLY TAKING
THE ONE HOUR I HAVE OFF

TO GO TO THE DRIVING
RANGE TO HIT GOLF BALLS

TO TRY TO IMPROVE MY SUCKY GAME,

THEREBY REDEEMING MYSELF
IN YOUR FATHER'S EYES.

I LIKE THE USE OF "SUCKY" AND
"THEREBY" IN THE SAME SENTENCE.

HEY, WHO'S THAT?

IT'S JASON. TELL HIM HI.

HEY, RORY SAYS HI.

TELL HER HI BACK.

HE SAYS HI BACK. HI.

THIS IS A SICKNESS.

I'LL BE IN, IN A MINUTE.

WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?

MY OTHER 2 PERSONALITIES.

I'LL BRING THIS BACK INSIDE.

WAIT, WAIT, BITE.

A FRIGHTENING PICTURE
OF THINGS TO COME.

DID YOU TALK TO ANYONE YET?

I LEFT A MESSAGE FOR DAD.

I TALKED TO MOM, BUT SHE TOOK
HER MORNING MR. HAPPY PILL,

SO OF COURSE, SHE WAS
HAVING A HAPPY MORNING

AND WAS ABSOLUTELY
NO HELP. BUT I'M ON IT.

A MAN ON A MISSION. THAT'S ME.

FIRE! WHAT?

NOTHING. I WAS JUST
FEELING LEFT OUT.

OH, SORRY.

I FIGURE, IF HE
DOESN'T CALL ME BACK

BY 4:00, I'LL JUST
GO OVER THERE.

OK, I'M AT THE CLUB.
I'M GONNA HANG UP NOW.

CALL ME LATER. ME?

NO. NO?

NOT YOU. NOT ME?

UH, I'M CONFUSED.
WHO'S HANGING UP NOW?

THAT WOULD BE ME.

GOOD. OK. I'LL
TALK TO YOU LATER.

JASON'S GONE.

FINALLY HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.

OH, YEAH. IT TOOK 3
HOURS OF MY HULA-DANCING

"SMALL WORLD" DOLL
IMPRESSIONS, BUT I BROKE HIM.

SO, HOW'S WORLD WAR III GOING?

THE FIRST BOYS OFF THE
BOAT WERE MOWED DOWN,

BUT THE NEXT PLATOON IS
MOVING IN. WHICH MEANS?

JASON'S MAKING THE
LAWSUIT GO AWAY.

HAVE YOU TALKED TO
GRANDMA OR GRANDPA? NO.

HAVE YOU TRIED TO TALK TO
GRANDMA OR GRANDPA YET?

NO.

THAT'S MY LITTLE KOFI ANNAN.

JASON WILL FIX IT.

JASON'S NOT THEIR DAUGHTER.

THEN HE MIGHT HAVE BETTER LUCK.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL THEM
YOU GUYS WERE DATING?

COME ON. YOU KNOW WHY.

WE WERE GOING TO TELL
THEM WHEN THE TIME WAS RIGHT.

I HAD NO IDEA WE WERE
DEALING WITH THE CARRINGTONS.

ALL WE NEEDED WAS A SWIMMING
POOL AND SOME BALL GOWNS

TO REALLY END THE EVENING RIGHT.

THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.

I LEAVE YOU PEOPLE ALONE FOR AN
HOUR AND ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE.

LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING
HAPPY. HOW WAS YOUR PAPER?

IT SUCKED. WHY DID IT SUCK?

I JUST COULDN'T
FIND THE RIGHT HOOK.

IT DIDN'T FEEL FOCUSED
ENOUGH. I DON'T KNOW.

PROFESSOR FLEMING'S
CLASS IS SO HARD.

HON, I BET IT WAS GREAT.

YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT
'CAUSE YOU'RE MY MOTHER.

OH, NO. I'M NOT.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR
THE RIGHT TIME TO TELL YOU.

OK, I HAVE TO GO NOW.

YEAH, ME TOO. DANISH CALLS.

TALK TO PARENTS.

I'LL TAKE ADVICE FROM YOU
AFTER THAT PAPER YOU TURNED IN?

GOODBYE. GOODBYE.

COME ON, I WANT TO
DO A HEAVENLY PRAYER.

HOLD ON. I'M TRYING
TO DO A VULCAN STING

AND I JUST LET YOU DO A
HALF MOON DEATH COMBO.

YOU DIDN'T LET ME, I
USED MY SOUL CHARGE.

GUYS, THE BAND MEETING
STARTED 10 MINUTES AGO.

WE CAN HEAR AND PLAY
AT THE SAME TIME, LANE.

WHAT? WHAT?

OK, FINE.

I'M GOING TO DECIDE THE
SET LIST WITHOUT YOU.

HEY, GIL, I THINK NOW
WOULD BE A GREAT TIME

TO ADD A LITTLE MATCHBOX
20 TO OUR SOUND, DON'T YOU?

THANK YOU, LANE.

YOU'RE WELCOME,
ZACH. OK, LET'S DO THIS.

THE GIG IS FRIDAY NIGHT.

WHO'S TAKING CARE
OF THE GUEST LIST?

I NEED TO PUT MY WIFE DOWN.

WE GOT A SITTER THAT NIGHT,
SO WE ARE FREE TO PARTY.

HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE
WE ALLOWED TO INVITE?

MY AUNT SUSAN LEFT MY UNCLE SID,

SHE'S STAYING WITH MY PARENTS,

AND SHE'S BRINGING
MY COUSIN, TURNER.

I'M SURE THAT'S FINE.

HE'S ALWAYS DRESSED LIKE ZORRO.

THAT STILL SEEMS FINE. HE'S 16.

ONE LESS WEDDING YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE TO GO TO, MY FRIEND.

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.

HERE.

WHAT'S THIS?

IT'S THE NAMES OF A COUPLE
OF CHICKS I MET LAST NIGHT.

PUT 'EM ON THE LIST.

WHY AM I SUDDENLY IN
CHARGE OF THE GUEST LIST?

BECAUSE YOU'RE
THE MOST RELIABLE.

HOW VERY ROCK 'N' ROLL.

HEY, WAIT. IS ONE OF
THOSE NAMES DIXIE?

YES.

WRONG NIGHT.

I WANT YOU GUYS
TO SEE SOMETHING.

I'VE BEEN WORKING ON
THE FLIER FOR THE GIG.

WHY IS THERE A SANDWICH ON IT?

I USED A FLIER FROM THE SANDWICH
SHOP TO GET THE DIMENSIONS RIGHT.

IT'S JUST A PROTOTYPE.

THE REAL ONE WON'T
HAVE THE SANDWICH ON IT.

SO, WOULD THERE BE A
PICTURE OF US INSTEAD?

OR PUT THE BAND NAME
WHERE THE SANDWICH IS.

JUST THE NAME, I THINK.

DIAGONAL. ACROSS
WHERE THE SANDWICH IS.

EVERYONE NEEDS TO STOP SAYING
"SANDWICH." I'M GETTING HUNGRY.

ME, TOO. DO WE HAVE
ANYTHING TO EAT?

IT WAS YOUR TURN TO SHOP.

THEN, NO. GREAT.

WHAT KIND OF SANDWICH IS THAT?

THAT'S THE MEATBALL EXPLOSION.

THAT SOUNDS FANTASTIC.

I WOULD DRESS UP LIKE ZORRO
FOR A MEATBALL EXPLOSION.

WHY WOULD THOSE BE CONNECTED?

IT'D BE LIKE A DARE.

I ATE CHEESECAKE OFF
THE FLOOR ON A DARE.

CHEESECAKE.

CHEESECAKE WOULD BE GOOD
WITH THE MEATBALL EXPLOSION.

OK, FINE.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I'M GOING TO GO TO THE STORE,
AND I'M GOING TO GET US SOME FOOD,

SO MAYBE WE CAN
GET BACK TO WORK. OK?

THANKS, MOM!

YEAH, SURE, THAT'S
EXACTLY WHAT I MEANT TO DO.

HEY, OWEN, GOOD TO SEE YOU.

YES. GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO, JASON.

YOU KNOW, I WAS GONNA CALL YOU

ABOUT THE CHANGES IN
THOSE CONTRACTS I SENT.

I'LL CALL RICHARD
ABOUT THEM TOMORROW.

OK, OR... GOODBYE, JASON.

ALL OF THE WOODWORK WAS
HAND-CARVED BY A UNION SOLDIER

THAT THE OWNER, MRS. TINLEY, TOOK
PITY ON AND NURSED BACK TO HEALTH.

HE GOT BETTER, WENT OFF,

SLAUGHTERED A FEW DOZEN
CONFEDERATE SOLDIERS,

CAME BACK, AND MADE THE STAIRS.

NICE STORY, YES?

YES, YOUR AMERICAN
HISTORY IS ALL OVER THIS INN.

OH, LOOK, A DEER.

I THINK I KNOW THAT LITTLE GUY.

HE WAS HERE FOR
BREAKFAST THIS MORNING.

CREEP UP QUIETLY.

TAKE A BETTER LOOK.

I HAVE THESE PEOPLE
IN THE PALM OF MY HAND.

TRAVEL AGENTS ARE SO EASY.

ARE THE HORSES WASHED?

THEY'RE WASHED.

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THEM TO
BE DISGUSTED BY SMELLY HORSES.

TRUST ME. THEY'VE
BEEN HOSED DOWN

WITH NEW CAR
SCENT. THEY'RE GREAT.

OK, LET'S SEE. UH, THEY SAW THE
DEER, WE RELEASED THE DOVES,

I'VE GOT THE STEVENS BOY

WHITEWASHING THE FENCE, IN
SHORT PANTS AND A STRAW HAT.

NO ONE CAN MANUFACTURE A QUAINT,

SMALL-TOWN MOMENT
LIKE YOU, MICHEL.

OH, TRAVEL AGENTS
ARE COMING BACK.

ADORABLE, YES?

OK, LET ME SHOW YOU THE
UPSTAIRS, THE BEDROOMS.

OH, WHAT IS THAT
DELICIOUS SCENT?

WHY, I BET OUR AMAZING
CHEF, SOOKIE ST. JAMES

IS EXPERIMENTING WITH
HER COOKIE RECIPE AGAIN.

WHY DON'T WE SNEAK
INTO THE KITCHEN

AND SEE IF WE CAN CONVINCE
HER TO GIVE US A TASTE?

OK? FOLLOW ME. COMING THROUGH!

COMING THROUGH!

SOOKIE. I'M OK.

WHAT HAPPENED?

DID YOU MAKE YOUR
COOKIES? IS IT YOUR FOOT?

I DON'T THINK I BROKE IT.

I DIDN'T EVEN HEAR
A SNAP THIS TIME.

WHAT ABOUT THE COOKIES?

THE COOKIES ARE ON THE COUNTER.

CARAMEL-MARSHMALLOW-
CHOCOLATE-CHUNK.

WHERE ARE YOU
TAKING HER? DR. SU.

OH, GREAT. HE'S THE BEST.

CALL ME THE MINUTE
YOU GET THERE.

OK.

GOD, I LOVE HAVING
A KITCHEN AGAIN.

PUT THE DOCTOR ON SO
I CAN TALK TO HIM. I WILL.

HEY. WHAT?

I'M BACK.

OK.

AH, THIS IS A NICE SURPRISE.

WELL, APPARENTLY THIS
IS A DAY FOR SURPRISES.

OH, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY TRYING
TO TRACK DOWN YOUR FATHER.

DO YOU WANT TO
SIT OR PLANT OR...

I LEFT MESSAGES AT HIS
HOUSE, ON HIS CELL PHONE,

FINALLY, I WENT TO THE
OFFICE, AND HE WASN'T THERE.

O-OK.

THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT WERE THERE

WERE 2 EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE
LOOKING SECRETARIES,

WHO PRACTICALLY THREW THEIR BACK
OUT TO AVOID EYE CONTACT WITH ME.

WHY? WHY? YES. A GOOD QUESTION.

I ASKED MYSELF THE SAME THING.

AND THEN I GOT A CALL
FROM RICHARD'S LAWYER.

WHAT DID HE WANT? TO
TELL ME THAT RICHARD

IS GOING BACK INTO
BUSINESS WITH MY FATHER.

WHAT? JASON,

NO, MY FATHER WOULDN'T DO THAT.

HE DID IT.

NO, THAT COMPANY FORCED HIM OUT.

NOW THEY HAVE
WELCOMED HIM BACK IN.

HE HAS HIS OWN BOUTIQUE
COMPANY UNDER THEIR BANNER,

A BIG OFFICE, NO OVERHEAD.

WELL, THERE MUST BE SOME...

AND HE IS TAKING ALL
OUR CLIENTS WITH HIM.

I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

I THOUGHT IT WAS ONE OF
THOSE CRAZY, NOT-SO-FUNNY,

BILLY-CRYSTAL-AT-THE-OSCARS
KIND OF JOKES,

SO I SPENT THE LAST 2 HOURS
CALLING EVERY CLIENT I COULD,

AND THEY'RE ALL GONE.

OH, JASON.

THE ONES I BROUGHT IN
FROM MY FATHER'S COMPANY,

THE ONES I'VE BROUGHT
IN SINCE. ALL GONE.

HOW COULD HE DO THIS?

HOW COULD MY FATHER JUST
TAKE THE BUSINESS FROM YOU?

OH, NO, NO, NO.

HE LEFT ME THE BUSINESS,
BUT WITHOUT THE CLIENTS

THE BUSINESS CONSISTS OF
SOME STATIONERY, A COFFEE MAKER,

AND SOME RUBBER PENCIL GRIPS.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

WHY WOULD MY FATHER DO THAT?

BECAUSE IT'S
BRILLIANT. IT'S PERFECT.

HE GETS MY DAD TO
DROP THE LAWSUIT,

HE MAKES SOME EXTRA CASH, AND HE'S
SITTING PRETTY. MAKES PERFECT SENSE.

BUT HE WAS YOUR PARTNER.

AND NOW HE'S THE GUY RUNNING
AROUND TOWN, BADMOUTHING ME.

IT IS AMAZING.

YOUR FATHER HAS DONE
A VERY THOROUGH JOB.

I'VE GOT NOTHING.

HE HAS RUINED MY REPUTATION.

WHAT DO I DO NOW?
I... I DON'T KNOW. MOVE?

START OVER SOMEWHERE ELSE? WHAT?

YOU CAN'T MOVE.

I HAVE TO WORK.

AND HE'S MAKING IT PRETTY
IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO WORK HERE.

OH, MY GOD. I'M GONNA
END UP IN HOUSTON,

WHERE ALL THE FINANCIAL
WASH-UPS WASH UP.

IT'S GONNA BE ME
AND THE ENRON BOYS

SMOKING CIGARS WHILE THEIR ANKLE
CUFFS BEEP IN THE BACKGROUND.

WHAT CAN I DO? NOTHING.

I... I JUST NEEDED TO
VENT. I'M OK. THANK YOU.

COME IN. NO, NO, I... I CAN'T.

I'LL CALL YOU LATER.

"I SAW THEN WHAT I
HAD NOT SEEN BEFORE.

"I SAW THE STOOP OF HIS
SHOULDERS, THE LINES ON HIS FACE

"LIKE A MAP OF A COUNTRY I
HAD ONCE TRAVELED WITH HIM.

"I HOPED THESE MARKS
OF AGE REFLECTED WISDOM,

"BUT I FEARED THEY
WERE MERELY TOKENS

"PURCHASED WITH LACK OF SLEEP

"AND THE KIND OF
ARTIFICIAL GOODWILL

"THAT'S SQUEEZED FROM
A MAN IN THE PUBLIC EYE

LIKE OIL FROM A RAG."

WELL, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU. YOU'RE VERY KIND.

THANK YOU, ASHER FLEMING

FOR THAT VERY MOVING EXCERPT
FROM YOUR NEW NOVEL, JAGLON.

IT IS AN ABSOLUTELY
ELECTRIC BOOK.

NOW, PROFESSOR FLEMING HAS BEEN

KIND ENOUGH TO GIVE US ONE HOUR,

SO IF YOU LINE UP BEHIND THE
TABLE, YOU CAN GET YOUR BOOK SIGNED

AND THEN TAKE THEM OVER TO THE
CASH REGISTER TO PURCHASE THEM.

IF YOU'LL JUST FOLLOW
ME. MY PLEASURE.

GOD, HE WAS GREAT.
WASN'T HE GREAT?

HE WAS VERY IMPRESSIVE.

HE IS SO COMMANDING.

IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT NECESSARY
FOR A BRILLIANT NOVELIST

TO ALSO BE AN EXTRAORDINARY
PUBLIC SPEAKER, BUT HE IS.

YES, HE IS.

AND HE'S SEXY AS HELL.

TEACHER. MINE. THANKS.

LOOK AT ALL THESE GIRLS,
JUST FLOCKING AROUND HIM.

THEY'RE SO OBVIOUS.

HELLO, THERE. HELLO,
PROFESSOR FLEMING.

I CAN'T TELL YOU
WHAT A THRILL THIS IS.

WELL, I'M... I'M FLATTERED.

YOU'RE A GENIUS.

AM I? HOW DELIGHTFUL.

I'M BUYING A COPY
FOR EVERYONE I KNOW.

WELL, THEN YOU SHOULD
MEET MORE PEOPLE.

YOU'LL MAKE MY PUBLISHER'S DAY.

WHO IS SHE KIDDING?

LIKE HE CAN'T SEE RIGHT THROUGH

THE MULTIPLE-BOOK-BUYING PLOY?
WHAT GIRL HASN'T USED THAT ONE?

GOD KNOWS I HAVE. YOU
WANT TO GO UP AND SAY HI?

NO, THANKS. YOU GO.

WE WON'T BE DISTURBING HIM.

I'M HIS GIRLFRIEND.

IT'S OK. REALLY.

ARE YOU HIDING FROM HIM
BECAUSE OF YOUR PAPER?

I'M NOT HIDING.

I JUST DON'T NEED TO KNOW HOW
MUCH IT SUCKS BEFORE IT'S TIME.

YOU MIGHT BE OVERREACTING.

OH, NO. SMELL THAT?
WHAT'S THAT? OH, YEAH.

I BELIEVE THAT'S MY PAPER.

THANKS. I'LL STAY HERE.

PLEASE. SHE'S GOING
TO HOVER. PATHETIC.

DID I SHOW YOU THIS? LOOK.

"TO A WISE, WILLFUL,
WONDERFUL WOMAN."

THAT'S ME. HE
DEDICATED IT TO ME.

WOW. THAT'S VERY NICE.

I KNOW.

IT'S NOT VERY SPECIFIC,
BUT IT'S VERY NICE.

WHAT'S HE SUPPOSED
TO DO, WRITE MY NAME?

PERISH THE THOUGHT.
YOU KNOW THE SITUATION.

I DO.

AS LONG AS I KNOW THE "WISE,
WILLFUL, WONDERFUL WOMAN" IS ME,

WHO CARES WHO ELSE KNOWS?

YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY.

I'M JUST STRESSED
ABOUT MY PAPER.

DON'T TAKE YOUR
LOSER PAPER OUT ON ME.

IS HE OUT OF WATER?

I'M GOING TO GET HIM SOME WATER.

PARIS, I'M SORRY.
THE DEDICATION'S NICE.

THANKS.

OH, YES. LIKE THEY READ.

WELL, THIS WAS A
ROYAL WASTE OF MY TIME.

HOWEVER, THERE WERE COOKIES.
HOLD SOME SO I DON'T LOOK LIKE A PIG.

YOU DIDN'T ENJOY THE READING?

I WASN'T HERE TO ENJOY IT.

I WAS HERE TO COVER
IT, FOR THE PAPER,

TO GO WITH THE
REVIEW OF THE BOOK.

AND THEN I ARRIVE
ONLY TO REALIZE

THAT EVERY SINGLE
AVAILABLE GIRL AT YALE IS HERE

INCLUDING 4 OF MY REPORTERS.

I'M NOT HERE ON PAPER BUSINESS.

I'M HERE BECAUSE I ENJOY
BOOKS, AND BECAUSE I READ BOOKS.

PLEASE. I DO.

AND PARIS? SHE'S WITH ME.

AND ANNA AND
CASSIE? POINT, DOYLE?

EVERYBODY'S HERE BECAUSE
FLEMING'S AN INTELLECTUAL DREAMBOAT.

I'M NOT HERE FOR THE DREAMBOAT.

GOD, THAT MAN.

HE'S GOT A CONSTANT
ROTATION GOING.

A NEW GIRL EVERY YEAR.

VERY YOUNG, OF COURSE.

LAST YEAR IT WAS TREY MYERS.

GOD, WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL.

SHE LOOKED LIKE A
SWEDISH STEWARDESS.

REALLY? YEP. THEN THEY BROKE UP

AT THE END OF THE TERM, AND SHE
REBOUNDED WITH A DRAMA MAJOR.

SO, ANY IDEA WHO
HE'S SEEING NOW?

ACTUALLY, NO.

THIS YEAR'S GIRL IS
A BIT OF A MYSTERY.

MAYBE HE'S ALREADY
BROKEN UP WITH ONE,

AND HE'S TROLLING FOR ANOTHER.

MY MONEY'S ON THE REDHEAD.

HI. UM, I'M LOOKING
FOR MY FATHER.

BIG GUY, BOW TIE.

MR. GILMORE'S IN
THE LIVING ROOM.

THANK YOU.

OH, YOU'RE HERE. LORELAI.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
WERE COMING OVER.

I CALLED.

YES. WELL, I HAVEN'T
BEEN IN THE MOOD TO TALK.

WELL, WE NEED TO.

I FELT LIKE READING.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS, DAD?

READING IS GOOD FOR
YOU. YOU LEARN THINGS.

JASON WAS YOUR PARTNER.

IF WE ARE GOING TO DISCUSS
THIS, LET'S GO INTO MY OFFICE.

JASON WAS YOUR PARTNER, AND HE
SAID HE WAS GONNA TAKE CARE OF IT.

LORELAI...

NO, I'M FINE TALKING RIGHT HERE.

JASON SAID HE WAS
TAKING CARE OF EVERYTHING

AND YOU... YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE HIM
A CHANCE BEFORE YOU CUT HIM OUT...

THIS IS BUSINESS.

NO, YOU TOOK
EVERYTHING FROM HIM, DAD.

YOU'RE RUINING HIS REPUTATION.

YOU'RE MAKING IT
IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO WORK.

I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR OPINION.

THAT COMPANY WAS
SO HORRIBLE TO YOU.

THEY TREATED YOU LIKE
DIRT, THEY FORCED YOU OUT,

AND YOU CHOSE THEM OVER HIM?

I AM NOT CHOOSING...

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU WOULD DO THIS.

IS IT BECAUSE OF ME?

ARE YOU TAKING THIS
OUT ON HIM BECAUSE...

DID YOU NOT HEAR
WHAT THE MAN SAID?

DID YOU NOT HEAR FLOYD THREATEN

TO GO AFTER EVERYTHING
YOUR MOTHER AND I HAVE?

YES... EVERYTHING I'VE
WORKED FOR. THIS HOUSE,

OUR LIVELIHOOD.

THERE HAS TO BE
SOMETHING ELSE YOU CAN DO.

GO HOME, LORELAI.
NO, DAD, PLEASE

I'M... I'M... I'M SORRY THAT I LIED
TO YOU ABOUT DATING JASON,

BUT YOU CAN'T
DESTROY HIM LIKE THIS.

I'M HARDLY DESTROYING HIM.

YOU TOOK HIS ENTIRE BUSINESS.

YOU'VE LEFT HIM WITH NOTHING.
HE'S TALKING ABOUT MOVING. LEAVING.

SO WHAT?

SO? I'M IN A
RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.

THEN GO WITH HIM.

YOU KNOW I CAN'T GO WITH HIM.

I HAVE A BUSINESS, I HAVE
A HOUSE, I HAVE RORY.

I CAN'T JUST PICK UP AND LEAVE.

THEN, YOU'VE MADE YOUR CHOICE.

DAD, STOP IT.

I AM TIRED OF THIS, LORELAI.

YOU'VE SHOWN ABSOLUTELY NO
CONCERN ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO ME,

WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR MOTHER.

YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENS TO YOUR BOYFRIEND!

AND THE WORST PART OF IT

IS THAT I NEVER EXPECTED
YOU TO ACT ANY DIFFERENTLY.

IS IT REALLY NECESSARY?

IS WHAT REALLY NECESSARY?

GOING AFTER JASON LIKE THIS.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
WERE A FAN OF JASON'S.

I'M NOT. I'M JUST CONCERNED.

WHAT ARE YOU
CONCERNED ABOUT, EMILY?

IT TOOK US A LONG TIME TO GET
LORELAI BACK INTO THIS HOUSE

AND SHE IS DATING JASON.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

I WORRY THAT IF YOU DO THIS,

YOU'LL DRIVE LORELAI AWAY AGAIN.

AND IF SHE GOES, RORY MIGHT GO.

SHE LIED TO US. TO YOU. TO ME.

I AM VERY WELL AWARE
OF WHAT SHE DID.

THE LAST TIME I CHECKED, YOU
DIDN'T CARE FOR BEING LIED TO.

DON'T BE CONDESCENDING.

I DON'T LIKE BEING LIED TO.

WE CAN'T CONTROL
WHAT LORELAI WILL DO.

RORY WON'T GO AWAY.

I'M DOING WHAT I HAVE TO DO.

WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?

WALKING OUT OF MY HOUSE
LIKE SHE OWNED THE PLACE.

YOUR MOM DIDN'T JUST GO
OUT AND GET ANOTHER KID.

KOREA IS WHERE YOU GO TO
GET NEW KIDS. ASK ANYONE.

THERE HAS TO BE
ANOTHER EXPLANATION.

THE EXPLANATION IS,
I'VE BEEN REPLACED.

YOU HAVE NOT BEEN REPLACED.

SHE WAS WEARING
MY BUNNY SWEATER.

YOU HATED THAT SWEATER.
THAT'S WHY YOU LEFT IT THERE.

SHE ALSO HAD MY
2ND-LEAST-FAVORITE SCARF

AND SHE WAS EATING MY APPLE.

WHAT APPLE?

THE ONE MY MOM WOULD
GIVE ME IF I WAS STILL THERE.

WHICH YOU DON'T. BY YOUR
OWN CHOICE, MIGHT I ADD.

NOW YOU'RE TAKING HER SIDE.

I'M NOT TAKING HER SIDE.

I'VE BEEN REPLACED.

DROP BY WHEN YOU'RE IN TOWN,
MEET YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND.

TIP HER WELL WHEN SHE
WAITS ON YOU AT LUKE'S.

HEAD OVER TO THE CHURCH
WITH HER, SHARE A PEW.

MY MOM HAS FOUND A NEW DAUGHTER.

I BET THIS ONE CAN NEEDLEPOINT.

I'VE GOT TO GO.

PARIS SAID I COULD USE 10
DAYTIME MINUTES ON HER PHONE

AND THEN, HER EXORBITANT
PREVAILING RATES APPLY.

I'LL CALL YOU BACK
WHEN I GET TO MY ROOM.

ARE YOU COMING TO
THE GIG ON FRIDAY?

GIG, YES. WHAT
TIME DO YOU GO ON?

8:00, WHICH MEANS 8:30.

SHOOT. FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER.

OH, I FORGOT.

I DON'T THINK I'LL
MAKE IT IN TIME.

THAT'S OK.

BUT I WANT TO SEE YOUR GIG.

WE WILL HAVE OTHER GIGS.

BY THEN THE OTHER LANE
WILL BE DRUMMING IN THE BAND.

AS LONG AS SHE'S GOT
A GOOD DOWNBEAT...

HAVE YOU GONE OUT
FOR THE PEP SQUAD YET?

I'LL CALL YOU IN A
LITTLE WHILE. BYE.

BYE.

EXCUSE ME. RIGHT.

A B-MINUS. OH, THANK GOD.

NOT BAD. ARE YOU KIDDING?

A B-MINUS IN
FLEMING'S CLASS IS LIKE

AN "A" ANYWHERE
ELSE IN SANE AMERICA.

LET'S CELEBRATE.

♪

COLLEGE IS LOUD!

YES, IT'S PART OF OUR TRAINING.

IT'S RIGHT UP THERE WITH THE
BAD FOOD, THE SLEEP DEPRIVATION,

AND HOW TO HOLD YOUR
OWN HAIR WHILE THROWING UP.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

INN STUFF.

I HAD TO PICK UP HINGES
AND DOORKNOBS AND FAUCETS.

AND I FIGURED, WHILE I WAS IN
THE 'HOOD, I'D DROP THIS OFF.

HEY, THANKS. YOU'RE WELCOME.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

YOU COULD'VE GIVEN IT TO
ME AT FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER.

I COULD HAVE. UNLESS
YOU'RE NOT GOING FOR DINNER.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO
FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER.

RORY? WHY?

THINGS HAVE GOTTEN WORSE.

HOW COULD THEY BE WORSE?

THEY WERE ALREADY AT WORSE.

DAD IS GOING AFTER JASON,

AND IT'S COMPLICATED,
BUT IT'S REALLY BAD.

AND I WENT OVER THERE TO
TRY TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT

AND HE WAS HORRIBLE. HE
SAID AWFUL THINGS TO ME.

LIKE WHAT? LIKE THINGS.

IT DOESN'T MATTER, BUT I... I
CAN'T JUST GO AND SIT THERE

AND MAKE SMALL TALK AND
PRETEND THAT EVERYTHING'S OK.

MOM... BECAUSE IT'S NOT OK.

YOU WERE MAD, HE WAS
MAD, YOU SAID SOME THINGS...

NO, RORY.

NO. NOW, I DON'T DOUBT THAT IT WAS BAD.
YOU AND GRANDPA CAN MAKE EACH OTHER CRAZY,

BUT MAYBE ONCE HE
CALMED DOWN, HE WAS SORRY.

HE IS NOT SORRY.
YOU COULD BE WRONG.

MAYBE IF WE GO OVER THERE

AND GIVE HIM A CHANCE
TO MAKE IT RIGHT, HE WOULD.

BOY, HONEY, YOU'RE
LIVING IN FUZZY-PUPPY LAND.

MOM, IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME YOU
DON'T BACK OUT OF THESE DINNERS.

IT'S THE ONLY TIME THE
WHOLE FAMILY GETS TOGETHER.

SOMETIMES, IT'S THE ONLY
TIME THAT I GET TO SEE YOU,

AND I LIKE HAVING IT THERE.
IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME.

RORY, COME ON.

I'M SERIOUS.

PLEASE, JUST GIVE HIM A CHANCE
TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU. PLEASE.

I'LL BE THERE. I'LL
BE YOUR BUFFER.

YOU WILL, HUH? ABSOLUTELY.

THEY CAN FOCUS ON ME,
YOU CAN FOCUS ON ME.

WHAT ABOUT WHEN HE THROWS
HIS GLASS OF WATER IN MY FACE?

THEN I WILL GET VERY WET.

I'M HOLDING YOU TO THAT.

YES.

♪

WOW.

CAESAR, I NEED A TURKEY
BURGER, FRIES, WELL DONE,

AND I'M STILL WAITING FOR THAT
GRILLED CHEESE AND TOMATO.

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE.

LIGHT A CANDLE, AND
TELL IT TO THE POPE.

I WANT MY GRILLED
CHEESE, PRONTO.

EXCUSE ME, LANE?

YES, KIRK.

I'M A LITTLE CONFUSED.
ABOUT WHAT, KIRK?

WELL, I'M LOOKING AT
THIS FLIER YOU GAVE ME

AND WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU
HAVE TO DO TO GET THE SANDWICH?

WHAT?

DOES EVERYONE WHO
SHOWS UP GET A SANDWICH?

OR IS IT FIRST COME,
FIRST SANDWICH?

OH, THAT'S A MISTAKE.

THE SANDWICH ISN'T
SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

I'M SAYING THAT'S JUST A FLIER FOR OUR BAND.
- 30.

SO, THERE'S NO SANDWICHES? NO.

THEN, WHY WOULD I GO?

TO HEAR SOME GREAT MUSIC.

OH, CAN I BRING MY OWN SANDWICH?

HEY, LANE.

I KNOW IT'S TIME FOR
YOUR BREAK NOW,

BUT IS IT OK IF I LET
CAESAR TAKE HIS?

HE OWES ME A GRILLED CHEESE.

I'LL DO IT. HE'S GOTTA RUN
TO THE BANK OR SOMETHING.

TO BE HONEST, I WASN'T PAYING TOO MUCH
ATTENTION BECAUSE HE WAS BUGGING ME.

NO PROBLEM. THANKS.

I'M TAKING MY 10!

THAT LOOKS LIKE IT TRAVELS WELL.

HEY, WHO ARE YOU? HI.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHERE?

WHY ARE YOU LIVING IN
MY HOUSE? YOUR HOUSE?

THAT HOUSE RIGHT
THERE. IT'S MINE.

I'M STAYING THERE.

WHY? ARE WE RELATED?

I HOPE NOT.

HOW DO YOU KNOW MRS. KIM?

I AM EXCHANGE
STUDENT FROM SEOUL.

I'M HERE FOR 3 MONTHS,
AND MRS. KIM IS MY HOST.

EXCHANGE STUDENT, HUH? YES.

WHO ARE YOU? I'M
MRS. KIM'S DAUGHTER.

SHE DID TELL YOU SHE
HAD A DAUGHTER? YES.

WELL, SHE DOES, AND IT'S ME.

YOU CAN TRY WHATEVER YOU WANT.

I WILL STILL BE HER DAUGHTER.

WHY ARE YOU SO MAD?

BECAUSE YOU STOLE MY LIFE.

I DID NOT STEAL YOUR LIFE.

YOU'RE LIVING IN MY ROOM.
YOU'RE WEARING MY CLOTHES.

AND DON'T TELL ME YOU
ALWAYS LOOKED LIKE THAT.

I'M NOT VERY CRAZY!

HOW'D YOU LIKE IT IF I
MOVED INTO YOUR HOUSE?

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO BACK HOME?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO FEEL SORRY
FOR MRS. KIM! MRS. KIM IS FINE!

AND GIVE ME BACK MY SWEATER,
AND MY 2ND-LEAST-FAVORITE SCARF!

ON TUESDAY,

WE'LL CONTINUE OUR LOOK
AT NEGLECT OF THE INDIVIDUAL

AS A HALLMARK OF
MODERN GOVERNMENT.

BE PREPARED TO
DISCUSS KAFKA'S THE TRIAL.

YES, IF ALL GOES WELL,
IT'LL GET VERY UGLY.

THANK YOU, EVERYONE.

SEE IF YOU CAN
MEET ME THERE, OK?

YEAH. SURE.

OH, VERY NICE JOB ON
YOUR PAPER, MISS GILMORE.

OH, THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW, PROFESSOR FLEMING,

I WAS ACTUALLY A LITTLE
SURPRISED BY MY GRADE.

WERE YOU?

YOU DESERVED IT.
YOU DID GOOD WORK.

TO BE HONEST, I
DON'T FEEL LIKE I DID.

AH, A PERFECTIONIST.

NO, I'M NOT A PERFECTIONIST.

I JUST KNOW WHEN I DO
WELL AND WHEN I DON'T.

YOU KNOW, THIS SOUNDS AS IF
YOU'RE QUESTIONING YOUR GRADE.

WELL, MAYBE I AM.

WELL, THIS IS A FIRST.

TODAY ALONE, I'VE HEARD
COMPLAINTS FROM 2 "D'S"

4 "C'S", AND AN "F",

BUT, UH, NOT FROM AN "A."

IN FACT, IN 35
YEARS OF TEACHING,

I'VE NEVER HEARD FROM AN "A."

I JUST WANT TO BE SURE
THAT THE GRADE I GOT IS

WHAT I DESERVE.

WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU
SAYING, MISS GILMORE?

JUST THAT IF THE GRADE I GOT

WASN'T LEGITIMATELY EARNED,
THEN I HAVE NO INTEREST IN IT.

OH, HOW VERY NOBLE OF YOU.

I INTEND TO EARN
ALL OF MY GRADES.

I DON'T WANT ANY FAVORS.

AND WHY EXACTLY WOULD YOU THINK

THAT I'D BE INCLINED TO
GRANT YOU ANY FAVORS?

I'M NOT SAYING THAT
YOU ARE. YOU'RE NOT?

THEN I MUST HAVE
MISUNDERSTOOD THIS CONVERSATION.

I'M JUST SAYING THAT...

YES?

THAT I WANT TO EARN
ALL OF MY GRADES.

YES, YOU'VE ALREADY SAID THAT.

NO MATTER HOW MANY

"WISE, WILLFUL, AND
WONDERFUL WOMEN" I KNOW.

HAVE YOU QUITE FINISHED?

I SUPPOSE I HAVE.

OH, BEFORE YOU GO ANY
FURTHER, MISS GILMORE,

LET ME ASSURE YOU THAT I DO NOT

GIVE GRADES THAT ARE NOT EARNED.

I GAVE YOU AN "A" BECAUSE YOUR
ARGUMENT WAS WELL STRUCTURED,

YOUR WRITING WAS
CLEAR AND CONCISE,

AND YOU DREW A CONNECTION
FROM MARSILIUS OF PADUA

TO MACHIAVELLI TO THE
MODERN AGE OF MEDIA

THAT PH.D. CANDIDATES
WOULD ENVY.

IN FACT, NO ONE ELSE'S PAPER
WAS THAT THOROUGHLY RESEARCHED.

EXCEPT FOR THE OTHER
PERSON WHO ALSO GOT AN "A."

YOU DID WHAT WAS
DEMANDED, AND YOU DID IT WELL.

AND I WOULD
SERIOUSLY CAUTION YOU

NOT TO QUESTION MY
GRADING TACTICS AGAIN.

OK. THANKS FOR THE "A."

AND THE REDHEAD HAS FAT THIGHS.

COME ON.

HEY, THERE'S NO
HURRY. WE'RE EARLY.

BUT WE'RE HERE, WE MIGHT AS
WELL GO IN AND GET IT OVER WITH.

OK, JUST RELAX, WHY DON'T YOU?

I'D LIKE TO STOP AND SMELL
THE ROSES, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

MOM.

YOU'RE YOUNG AND
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I'M OLD, I'M DYING, I'M
GONNA SMELL A ROSE.

I DON'T SEE A ROSE. I THINK
THERE'S ONE NEXT DOOR.

YOU'RE BEING A TAD
RIDICULOUS. COME ON.

ON A SCALE OF ONE TO A MILLION,

HOW AWFUL DO YOU
THINK TONIGHT WILL BE?

HOW HIGH A NUMBER DID YOU THINK

THE WALK UP THE DRIVEWAY WAS?

YOU KNOW, I WONDER WHICH TACK

MY DAD'S GONNA PICK TONIGHT.

I BET HE GOES WITH
THE SILENT TREATMENT.

OR MAYBE HE WON'T.

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

HE MIGHT PREFER THE
FULL-ON FRONTAL ASSAULT.

YOU KNOW, JUST
CONSTANT MENTAL FLOGGING

RIGHT FROM "DING-DONG"
THROUGH TILL "DRIVE SAFE."

AT LEAST HE SAID "DRIVE SAFE."

NO. IT WASN'T HIM.
IT WAS THE MAID.

RIGHT.

OR MAYBE DAD WILL BE FINE,
AND EMILY WILL BE ON THE ATTACK.

YEAH, A LITTLE "GOOD COP-BAD
COP", IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

KEEP ME ON MY TOES. I
WON'T BE EXPECTING THAT.

EXCEPT THAT YOU ARE. READY?

OK. WAIT, JUST WAIT.

WE CAN STILL LEAVE.

NO.

RIGHT NOW IS THE POINT
IN THE HORROR MOVIE

WHERE THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE
YELLS, "DON'T GO IN THERE!"

I WILL BE RIGHT BESIDE YOU, OK?

OK. BUT I'M TELLING YOU

IF MY DAD GETS UGLY,
I'M OUT OF THERE.

LORELAI. RORY.

YOU'RE EARLY.

YEAH, NO TRAFFIC.

NO?

WELL, THAT'S VERY, UH...

UH, COME IN.

DID YOU HIT MUCH TRAFFIC?

UM, NO. NO TRAFFIC AT ALL.

WELL, GOOD.

UH, NOTHING LIKE AN HOUR STUCK IN
TRAFFIC TO RUIN YOUR COMPLETE DAY.

SHOULD I TAKE YOUR COATS?

THAT'S OK. WE CAN
JUST PUT THEM HERE.

ALL RIGHT.

WELL, YOU'RE EARLY, SO I'M
NOT QUITE ORGANIZED YET,

BUT, UH, SHALL WE
HAVE SOME DRINKS?

OK.

ALL RIGHT.

THERE'S NO ICE. DO WE NEED ICE?

UH...

OF COURSE WE NEED ICE.

THERE'S SOME IN THE
KITCHEN. I'LL GO GET IT.

OK.

HE DOESN'T SEEM MAD.

ALL DEPENDS ON WHICH DEFINITION
OF "MAD" YOU'RE GOING WITH.

MOM.

LORELAI. RORY. YOU'RE EARLY.

UM, YEAH, WE DIDN'T
HIT ANY TRAFFIC, SO...

WELL, IT'S... IT'S...
IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU.

WHERE WERE YOU? WHEN?

JUST NOW.

OH, WELL, I HAD TO
RUN OUT TO THE STORE.

TO GET WHAT?

THEY WERE OUT.

EMILY, THE GIRLS ARE EARLY.

I SEE THAT.

IS THAT ICE?

YES.

WE NEED IT TO MAKE THE DRINKS.

OH, SHOOT.

YOU SHOULD TAKE THE BUCKET
INTO THE KITCHEN THE NEXT TIME.

YES, THAT WOULD'VE BEEN
THE SMART THING TO DO.

WELL, I WAS MAKING DRINKS.

SO, UH, RORY, HOW IS SCHOOL?

IT'S FINE.

UM, I JUST GOT
AN "A" ON A PAPER.

OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.

YOU GONNA LET GO
OF THAT PURSE, MOM?

WHAT?

YOU'RE HOLDING PRETTY
TIGHTLY TO YOUR PURSE THERE.

YOU LOOK LIKE SOMEONE'S
TANTE FLICKMAN.

OH, WELL, I, UH, JUST...

THERE. OK.

IT'S NEW. THE PURSE?

YES, IT'S NEW. I'M... I'M
TRYING TO BREAK IT IN.

SURE. OTHERWISE,
YOU'D GET BLISTERS.

WELL, HERE WE ARE.

LORELAI. THANK YOU.

SODA FOR RORY.

EMILY.

WELL, GOOD. UH...

SO, CHEERS.

CHEERS. CHEERS.

CHEERS.

SO, RORY, HOW'S SCHOOL?

FINE. I JUST GOT
AN "A" ON A PAPER.

HAS SHE TOLD YOU
ABOUT THE TRAFFIC?

DINNER'S READY.

IT IS?

I-I-IT'S ONLY JUST 7:00 NOW.

OH, I'M SORRY. WHAT TIME
DID YOU WANT DINNER?

YOU DIDN'T TELL ME, SO...

YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S ALL RIGHT.

WE'LL JUST EAT NOW.

NOW? OK.

WHAT DO WE DO WITH...

JUST TAKE YOUR
DRINKS TO THE TABLE.

TAKE OUR DRINKS TO THE...

OH, I'LL GRAB THE
COCKTAIL NAPKINS.

MOM, YOU LEFT YOUR PURSE.

OH, YES.

MOM. WHAT?

I WAS JUST KIDDING, MOM.

OH, YOU.

OK, SO EVERY TIME THEY ASK
YOU ABOUT SCHOOL OR TRAFFIC,

JUST DO A SHOT. SHH!

THANK YOU.

SO WHAT'S FOR DESSERT?

WE'RE NOT HAVING DESSERT.

WE'RE NOT?

I'M ON A DIET.

AMERICANS ARE EXTREMELY FAT.

I THINK THEY PREFER
"RUBENESQUE."

YOU'RE NOT FAT, GRANDMA.

WELL, THANK YOU, LORELAI.

SHE WAS CLOSE.

WELL, OK.

IF WE'RE NOT HAVING
DESSERT, THEN WE SHOULD GO.

ALL RIGHT. SEE YOU NEXT FRIDAY.

THANK YOU FOR COMING.

OH, THANK YOU FOR HAVING US.

OH, WAIT.

THE GORDONS GAVE US SOME
WONDERFUL CHOCOLATE LAST WEEK.

THEY BROUGHT IT
BACK FROM BELGIUM.

YOU CAN TAKE IT WITH YOU.

NO, MOM. THAT'S OK. WE'RE FINE.

NO, THESE ARE REALLY
GOOD CHOCOLATES, LORELAI.

I'M SURE THEY ARE, DAD.

DID YOU FIND THEM, EMILY?

WE CAN JUST GET THEM NEXT TIME.

NONSENSE. YOU CAN EAT
THEM ON THE WAY HOME.

EMILY!

HERE THEY ARE.

I'VE GOT THEM. ONE FOR
YOU AND ONE FOR YOU.

ENJOY. WE WILL.

OK, UH, WE'RE LEAVING NOW.

HAVE A GOOD EVENING
AND GET SOME SLEEP.

ALL RIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

WHAT THE HELL WAS
THAT? I DON'T KNOW.

JACK NICHOLSON
AND ANGELINA JOLIE

JUST KICKED US OUT
WITH PARTING GIFTS.

DESSERT TO GO.

AS MUCH AS THE
THOUGHT OF AN EARLY END

TO FRIDAY NIGHT
DINNER APPEALS TO ME,

THAT WAS JUST WEIRD.

SHE MADE A TINFOIL SWAN.

WHAT WAS WITH THE DRINKS AND THE
DINNER? WHERE WAS SHE COMING FROM?

I DON'T KNOW.

SHE HAD TO "RUN TO THE STORE"
SINCE WHEN? I DON'T KNOW.

SHE CAME BACK WITH NOTHING. AND
THE PURSE. DID YOU NOTICE THE PURSE?

THEY SAY PEOPLE CHANGE
AS THEY GET OLDER.

I JUST DIDN'T THINK IT
WAS ALL IN ONE WEEK.

THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG HERE.

WHY IS MY MOTHER'S CAR HERE?

SHE WAS IN A HURRY?

MY MOTHER NEVER PARKS
HER CAR IN THE DRIVEWAY

BECAUSE THE CAR MIGHT DRIP OIL

AND MAKE A SPOT ON THE CONCRETE

AND THEN LIFE AS WE
KNOW IT WOULD END.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

JUST SEEING WHAT'S IN HER CAR.

WHY? BECAUSE. I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST FEEL LIKE SOMETHING'S UP.

SHE'S COMING. WHO?

MOM. HURRY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

GOOD SHOES, GOOD
SHOES, GOOD SHOES.

SHE'S LEAVING.
WHERE'S SHE GOING?

I DON'T KNOW.

SHE LEFT HER HOUSE WITH DRY
CLEANING, AND SHE DROVE OFF?

SHE'S MEETING FRIENDS?

TONIGHT, AFTER DINNER?

MAYBE.

I'M SORRY. THIS MIGHT BE CRAZY,

BUT IS MY MOM NOT
STAYING HERE TONIGHT?

WELL...

♪ TEARS COME FROM THE RAZOR
THAT'S BEEN TATTOOED BELOW HIS EYE ♪

♪ HIS MOTHER CRIES ♪

♪ SHE KNOWS THAT HE IS
STRONG ENOUGH TO DIE ♪

♪ HE'S ROLLIN' IN THE CADILLAC
IT'S MIDNIGHT, SUNROOF IS DOWN ♪

♪ 3 SHOTS RUNG OUT OF HERE AND
THEN THE NEW KING IS CROWNED ♪

♪ BLACK COAT, WHITE SHOES,
BLACK HAT, CADILLAC, YEAH ♪

♪ THE BOY'S A TIME BOMB ♪

♪ BLACK COAT, WHITE SHOES,
BLACK HAT, CADILLAC, YEAH ♪

♪ THE BOY'S A TIME BOMB ♪

♪ BLACK COAT, WHITE SHOES,
BLACK HAT, CADILLAC, YEAH ♪

♪ THE BOY'S A TIME BOMB ♪

♪ BLACK COAT, WHITE SHOES,
BLACK HAT, CADILLAC, YEAH ♪

♪ THE BOY'S A TIME BOMB ♪

♪ OH, TIME BOMB! ♪

GREAT GIG. AWESOME GIG.

YOU'RE STARTING TO
WHEEZE ON THE BEAT, DUDE.

I'VE BEEN PRACTICING.

MAN, I AM FEELING IT. WE
HAVE HIT THE NEXT LEVEL.

WE HAVE, HAVEN'T WE?
YOU HEARD THE CROWD.

DUDE, WHAT WAS
WITH THE SHIRT RAISE?

WHEN I'M PLAYING LIKE THAT,
THERE IS NO ROOM FOR CLOTHES.

WE NEED A SIGN,
BECAUSE I WAS STARING

RIGHT AT YOU WHEN
YOU TOOK IT OFF.

I FELT LIKE PUTTING
$1 IN YOUR PANTS.

I WOULDN'T TURN IT DOWN.

BRIAN, HONEY!

HEY, MOM.

YOU KIDS WERE EXCELLENT.

THANKS, DAD.

HEY, AUNT SUSAN. HEY, TURNER.

HEY, BRIAN.

I BROUGHT CARROT STICKS.

YOU WANT A CARROT STICK, BRIAN?

YEAH, THANKS.

HE REALLY DOES WEAR
A ZORRO COSTUME.

I GOT TO GO FIND MY WIFE.

I'M SO JAZZED RIGHT
NOW. THAT WAS GREAT!

WE HAVE NEVER PLAYED THAT GOOD.

YOU'VE NEVER PLAYED THAT GOOD.

REALLY?

YOU'VE NEVER GIVEN
ME A COMPLIMENT, EVER.

WHAT AM I, YOUR MOTHER?

EWW!

WHAT? OH.

WHO IS THAT? I
THINK IT'S HIS WIFE.

SERIOUSLY, THAT IS JUST WRONG.

HE SHOULD CELEBRATE.

WE ALL SHOULD CELEBRATE.

STAY OUT ALL
NIGHT, HIT THE CLUBS,

AND TALK ABOUT OUR
ROLLING STONE COVER,

I'M THINKING, THE
GARDEN OF EDEN THEME.

HI, ZACH.

SHANNON.

YOU REMEMBERED?

I CAN READ A NAPKIN, SWEETHEART.

NICE PANTS.

OH, YOU'RE A GOD.

AND WE SHALL DISCUSS
THIS FURTHER AT THE BAR.

SO, WHAT DID YOU
THINK OF THE LYRICS?

♪ THERE'S ALWAYS TOO MUCH
SUN OR TOO MUCH SNOW ♪

♪ IT'S LIKE I'LL
NEVER EVER LAND ♪

♪ THERE'S ALWAYS TOO MUCH
SUN OR TOO MUCH SNOW ♪

♪ I GET SLOW DAYS AND NO DAYS ♪

♪ I GET RUSTY AND IT'S HARD ♪

♪ BUT I GET NOTIONS
THAT OCEANS ♪

♪ ARE COMING TO MY CALL ♪

SO I SPENT ALL
MORNING ON THE PHONE

CALLING EVERY HOTEL IN THE
AREA WITH A DECENT HIGH TEA

AND THERE SHE WAS.

THE GRAFTON HOTEL, ROOM 421.

INDEFINITE.

I'M SORRY.

I CAN'T BELIEVE MY
PARENTS ARE SEPARATED.

I MEAN, I DREAMED
ABOUT THIS AS A KID.

OF COURSE, MY
SCENARIO ALSO INVOLVED

MY MOTHER FINDING
HER INNER TIMOTHY LEARY

AND MOVING US ALL OUT TO A
COMMUNE IN BERKELEY, BUT STILL,

I WAS CONVINCED THAT THESE
PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE TOGETHER

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I WAS WRONG.

RICHARD AND EMILY GILMORE
WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER.

GOD, THIS IS SO FREAKY.

AND I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW, AND
OF COURSE, WE WON'T TALK ABOUT IT

BECAUSE WE DON'T
DO THAT IN OUR FAMILY.

WE REPRESS EVERYTHING, AND
WE REFUSE TO GO TO THERAPY

BECAUSE WHY TELL A
STRANGER YOUR PROBLEMS

WHEN YOU CAN USE THEM TO
PUNISH THOSE AROUND YOU?

SO WHAT NOW?

EVERY FRIDAY I'M SUPPOSED TO
PRETEND THAT THEY STILL LIVE TOGETHER

AND THEN AFTER WE LEAVE,

MY MOTHER WILL GET IN HER CAR
AND DRIVE BACK TO THE HOTEL?

THE HOTEL. MY MOTHER'S
LIVING IN A HOTEL.

IT'S WEIRD. IT'S JUST
INCREDIBLY WEIRD.

I'M SORRY. I JUST
NEEDED TO VENT.

YOU HAVE EVERY
RIGHT. I'M DONE NOW.

THERE'S NOTHING I CAN
DO ABOUT THEM, SO...

TALK TO ME. YOU WERE
GONNA TELL ME SOMETHING.

I'M SUING YOUR FATHER.

I HAVE TO, LORELAI.

NO, YOU DON'T.

I'VE GONE OVER IT. I'VE
WEIGHED EVERY OPTION.

I HAVE TO RESPOND.

I CANNOT JUST SIT
HERE AND DO NOTHING

WHEN MY ENTIRE CAREER
IS GOING UP IN FLAMES.

JASON, PLEASE. DON'T DO THIS.

MAYBE IT WON'T BE SO
BAD. MAYBE HE'LL SETTLE.

HE WON'T SETTLE.

IT'S JUST BUSINESS.

OH, MY GOD. I'M SO SICK OF
HEARING PEOPLE SAY THAT.

YOU KNOW I WOULDN'T
DO THIS IF I DIDN'T HAVE TO.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

IF I INTEND TO CONTINUE WORKING
IN MY CHOSEN PROFESSION,

THEN, YEAH, I HAVE TO.

DON'T BE JUST A BUSINESS GUY.

PUT THIS ON ANOTHER
LEVEL. PLEASE.

I CAN'T. UNBELIEVABLE.

LORELAI, I HAVE NO CHOICE.

I HAVE TO FIGHT BACK.

JASON.

I WILL KEEP YOU OUT
OF THIS. I PROMISE.

I CAN'T BE WITH SOMEONE
WHO'S SUING MY FAMILY.

LORELAI, COME ON.

I'M SORRY.

YOU SAW WHAT YOUR
FATHER DID TO ME.

I KNOW WHAT HE DID TO YOU.

AND HE IS NOT GONNA STOP
UNTIL THERE'S NOTHING LEFT.

I'M ASKING YOU NOT TO DO THIS.

ASK ME SOMETHING
ELSE. ANYTHING ELSE.

THIS IS WHAT I WANT.

YOU KNOW HOW HARD I WORK.

MY JOB IS WHO I AM. I
CAN'T LOSE EVERYTHING.

YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND
WHY I'M DOING THIS.

I DO UNDERSTAND.

BUT I CAN'T BE WITH SOMEONE
WHO'S SUING MY FAMILY.

LORELAI...