Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 2, Episode 11 - Secrets and Loans - full transcript
Lorelai's concern over the fact that she can't afford to repair her home's extensive termite damage turns to anger when Rory tells Emily about their problem and Emily again offers Lorelai a loan.
THE TIME?
4:30.
FILL ME UP. THAT'S YOUR 6TH CUP.
YES, IT IS. HOW ABOUT SOME TEA?
ABSOLUTELY. THROW
IT IN WITH THE COFFEE.
I ASSUME RORY'S
MEETING YOU HERE?
YES, SHE IS.
SHE'S LATE. I HAVE TO GO TO CLASS
TONIGHT, SO I HAVE 10 MORE MINUTES.
I GOT IT. YOU DID?
RIGHT HERE.
OH, HURRY UP, OPEN IT.
LEAVE THE POT, ETHEL.
I'M JUST AN ENABLER.
OK, JUST REMEMBER,
THESE ARE THE P.S.A.Ts, OK?
SO IT'S LIKE THE BABY GAP.
THEY DON'T COUNT AS MUCH.
YOU CAN TAKE THEM AGAIN.
PLUS, YOU ARE YOUNG. YOU HAVE
YEARS OF LEARNING AHEAD OF YOU.
THE REALLY IMPORTANT
THING IS THAT YOU TRIED HARD.
I GOT A 740 VERBAL
AND A 760 MATH.
OH, THANK GOD
YOU'RE NOT AN IDIOT.
I GOT A 740 VERBAL
AND A 760 MATH?
THOSE ARE DAMN GOOD SCORES,
LITTLE LADY, REALLY. AMAZING. TOP-NOTCH.
THOSE ARE P.S.A-TERRIFIC.
SORRY, I HAD TO GO
FOR IT. YOU'RE FROWNING.
HOW DID I GET A
HIGHER SCORE IN MATH?
WHO CARES?
BUT I'M STRONGER IN
VERBAL. VERBAL IS MY THING.
NO, VERBAL'S MY THING.
MAYBE I DIDN'T
STUDY HARD ENOUGH.
MAYBE I GOT COCKY.
MAYBE YOU NEED A MAJOR MUD
BATH-SALT GLOW-CHILL PILL COMBO.
I'M JUST SAYING...
RORY, YOU GOT A GREAT SCORE.
YEAH, BUT...
NO. A GREAT SCORE.
GREAT SCORE?
THAT IS A SCORE YOU HAVE
EARNED AND YOU DESERVE
AND WILL ALLOW YOU TO LOOK
DOWN AT ME FOR MANY YEARS TO COME.
OK. OK.
SO WE SHOULD CELEBRATE.
LET'S GET ALL DRESSED UP TONIGHT
AND HIT THE ROCKY
HORROR PICTURE SHOW?
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
I'M ALWAYS SERIOUS.
CAN I INVITE LANE?
ABSOLUTELY.
I HOPE SHE GETS THIS IN TIME.
SHE'S BEEN HARD TO REACH LATELY.
MAYBE SHE CAN'T
HANDLE THE PRESSURE
OF HAVING SUCH A
BRILLIANT BEST FRIEND.
BRILLIANT IN MATH. THE
VERBAL'S KIND OF SAD.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE LATE.
OH, SHOOT. I AM. I HAVE TO GO.
HEY, RORY KICKED SOME
MAJOR P.S.A.T. ASS TODAY.
YEAH? CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU.
WE'RE GONNA HIT THE ROCKY
HORROR PICTURE SHOW TONIGHT.
REALLY?
YES, I AM MAGENTA.
RORY USUALLY OPTS FOR
JANET. I HAD A THOUGHT.
OH, YEAH?
YEAH. I WAS THINKING THAT YOU
COULD PUT ON FISHNET STOCKINGS,
A LEATHER TEDDY, PLATFORM BOOTS,
AND COME AS DR. FRANK-N-FURTER.
WELL, NOW, THAT IS A THOUGHT.
YOU'LL ALSO NEED
SOME GLOVES AND A WIG.
GLOVES, WIGS. GOT IT.
I'LL DO YOUR
MAKEUP. THAT'LL HELP.
THERE YOU GO. OK, SOUNDS GREAT.
SO 8:00, I'LL SWING
AROUND AND GET YOU?
SURE, GOOD. GOOD.
IF BY SOME CHANCE YOU KNOCK
ON THE DOOR BUT NO ONE ANSWERS
EVEN IF THE LIGHTS ARE
ON, I'LL MEET YOU THERE.
OK. OK.
SO I'LL SEE YOU
TOMORROW MORNING?
I'LL BE THE ONE WITH THE COFFEE.
HEY, MAKE SURE YOU GLOAT A
LITTLE. IT'S GOOD FOR THE SKIN.
♪
♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪
♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW, OH ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
♪
♪ WHEN I WAS
JUST A LITTLE GIRL ♪
♪ I ASKED MY MOTHER
"WHAT WILL I BE ♪
♪ WILL I BE PRETTY?
WILL I BE RICH?" ♪
♪ HERE'S WHAT SHE SAID TO ME ♪
♪ "QUE SERA, SERA ♪
♪ "WHATEVER WILL BE, WILL BE ♪
♪ "THE FUTURE'S
NOT OURS TO SEE ♪
♪ "QUE SERA, SERA ♪
♪ WHATEVER WILL BE, WILL BE" ♪
RORY!
SO DO YOU THINK THE PORCH IS
FALLING APART, OR DO YOU WEIGH A TON?
THE PORCH IS FINE. IT HAS A
LITTLE EXTRA VENTILATION IN IT NOW.
THE WOOD IS OLD AND ROTTING.
THE WOOD IS NOT OLD AND ROTTING.
IT IS STRONG AND SPRIGHTLY
AND WILL BE WITH US
FOR A LONG, LONG TIME TO COME.
SO YOU DO WEIGH A TON?
I CHECKED UNDER
THE ENTIRE HOUSE.
AND?
YOU HAVE TERMITES.
WHAT?
TENS OF THOUSANDS OF THEM.
SUBTERRANEAN, DRYWOOD,
THE WHOLE GAMUT.
GROSS.
4 CRAWLED UP MY NOSE. OK, KIRK.
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME
WHEN YOU'RE UPSIDE DOWN.
TO THEM, THE NOSTRIL LOOKS LIKE
ANOTHER HOLLOW PASSAGE IN THE WOOD.
THEY'RE NOT TOO BRIGHT.
OK, SO WE HAVE TERMITES.
SO WHAT DO WE, UM... DON'T
YOU WANT TO COME INSIDE, KIRK?
ACTUALLY, I WOULD PREFER
TO DISCUSS THIS OUTSIDE.
KIRK.
OK, LET'S GET DOWN TO IT.
FROM WHAT I WITNESSED,
YOUR HOUSE IS A
BUG-INFESTED SMORGASBORD.
ARE THOSE FOR ME?
OH, YEAH. THANKS.
WELL, WHAT DO WE DO?
WELL, UH, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'D
PREFER TO DISCUSS THIS ON THE LAWN.
WHY?
THIS PORCH COULD GIVE
OUT ON US AT ANY MINUTE.
KIRK, THAT'S CRAZY.
KIRK, STOP. THE PORCH IS FINE.
YOUR FOOT WENT THROUGH IT TODAY.
THAT WAS DIFFERENT.
THAT WOOD WAS OLD.
WHAT HAPPENED TO SPRIGHTLY?
KIRK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
JUST MAKING SURE THAT
IF THE ROOF COMES DOWN,
THE DEBRIS CAN'T RICOCHET
OVER HERE AND TAKE ME OUT.
HONEY, IN 5 MORE MINUTES,
YOU WON'T NEED TO.
KIRK, PLEASE TALK TO ME ABOUT THE
TERMITES. WHAT DO I DO, TENT THE PLACE?
TO START WITH, YES.
TO START WITH? WHAT
DOES THAT MEAN?
THEY'VE DONE SOME SERIOUS
DAMAGE UNDER THERE.
THEY'VE EATEN THROUGH
THE WOODEN JOISTS.
YOUR FOUNDATION HAS COMPLETELY
LOST ITS STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY.
MOM, OUR HOUSE IS FALLING DOWN.
OK, WHAT SHOULD
I DO TO FIX THIS?
YOU HAVE TO JACK THE
HOUSE UP, REBUILD THE JOISTS,
AND REPAIR THE WEAKENED
PARTS OF THE FOUNDATION.
ALL FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF...
WELL, I HAVEN'T DONE
THE EXACT ESTIMATE.
BUT I'D SAY SOMEWHERE IN
THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF $15,000.
TELL IT TO MOVE TO
ANOTHER NEIGHBORHOOD.
SORRY?
$15,000? WE'RE
NEVER EATING AGAIN.
I DON'T HAVE $15,000.
I'VE NEVER HAD $15,000.
I'M TRYING TO
PICTURE $15,000, I CAN'T.
THAT'S HOW UNFAMILIAR $15,000
AND I ARE WITH EACH OTHER.
MAYBE YOU CAN JUST FIX PART
OF THE HOUSE, THE PART YOU LIKE.
WE LIKE THE ENTIRE HOUSE, KIRK.
REALLY? EVEN THAT KITCHEN?
THANKS FOR COMING OVER, KIRK.
SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
DO? I DON'T KNOW YET.
YOU DON'T WANT TO WAIT
TOO LONG TO ADDRESS THIS.
YEAH, I GET THAT, KIRK.
YOU MIGHT GET THE
DISHES OUT OF THERE.
GOOD TIP.
THANKS FOR THE WAFFLES.
THANKS FOR THE HORRIFYING NEWS.
ANY TIME.
LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
THE DAY'S ALL UPHILL FROM HERE.
THIS IS REALLY BAD.
HONEY, DON'T WORRY.
WE'LL FIGURE SOMETHIN' OUT.
OK. WE SHOULD GET INSIDE.
YEAH.
AFTER YOU.
11, 12, HERE.
THANKS.
1, 2, 3...
I'M DEPRESSED.
JEREMY DIDN'T CALL?
NOT IN A TIMELY MANNER, NO.
WELL, GOOD RIDDANCE
TO BAD LUGGAGE.
I GUESS.
I THOUGHT WE REALLY CONNECTED
THE OTHER DAY IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET.
BOYS. A NANCY DREW MYSTERY.
LOUISE. MADELINE.
YOU LOOK HAPPY.
REALLY? HUH.
WHAT?
NOTHING.
IT'S JUST A NICE
DAY. A NICE, NICE DAY.
OK.
SO, DID YOU GET YOUR
P.S.A.T. SCORES BACK YET?
YEAH. YESTERDAY.
AND?
500 VERBAL, 560 MATH.
RESPECTABLE.
I THOUGHT SO.
LOUISE, WHAT DID YOU GET?
HIGHLIGHTS, AROUND MY FACE.
YOU'LL TAKE THEM
AGAIN AND DO BETTER.
I'LL DO THAT AND
GET MY NOSE DONE.
YOU DON'T STUDY. YOU
DON'T APPLY YOURSELF.
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. I
NEED ANOTHER CHIP.
TAKE THEM.
SO I GOT MY SCORES
BACK TODAY, TOO.
OH, YEAH?
THIS MORNING. I JUST
CAME DOWNSTAIRS,
AND THERE THEY WERE,
JUST SITTING ON THE TABLE.
BOY, WAS I NERVOUS,
JUST IMAGINING WHAT I GOT.
BUT THEN I REALIZED THAT I'D
HAVE TO OPEN THEM EVENTUALLY,
AND SO I DID.
WAS I SURPRISED BY WHAT I FOUND.
COULD'VE KNOCKED ME
OVER WITH A FEATHER.
YEP. I WAS JUST THAT SURPRISED.
SO, WHAT DID YOU GET?
WELL, RORY, SINCE YOU ASKED,
AND BY THE WAY, I'M NOT
BRAGGING OR ANYTHING,
BUT I GOT A 750 MATH
AND A 730 VERBAL.
WOW, THAT IS GOOD.
CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU.
THOSE ARE GREAT SCORES.
SO, DID YOU GET YOUR
SCORES BACK YET?
YEP.
AND?
I'M HAPPY.
HOW HAPPY?
PRETTY HAPPY.
HOW DO I KNOW YOU'RE
NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE
WHO GETS PRETTY HAPPY
LOOKING AT A SUNSET?
HOW DO I KNOW WHAT YOUR
BAROMETER FOR PRETTY HAPPY IS?
YOU DON'T.
RIGHT.
SO, ARE YOU?
AM I WHAT?
ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE WHO
GETS HAPPY LOOKING AT A SUNSET?
I DON'T GET UNHAPPY
LOOKING AT A SUNSET.
WHAT DID YOU GET?
THAT'S PERSONAL.
WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME?
'CAUSE IT'S NONE
OF YOUR BUSINESS.
OK, FINE.
DON'T TELL ME WHAT YOU GOT.
I WON'T.
WHY WON'T YOU
TELL ME YOUR SCORE?
BYE, PARIS.
YOU'RE NOT TORTURING
ME, YOU KNOW.
I DON'T CARE! MY
SCORES WERE GREAT.
I'M VERY, VERY HAPPY
WITH MY SCORES.
AND I HATE LOOKING AT A SUNSET,
SO MY STANDARD
FOR HAPPINESS IS HIGH!
RORY, WAKE UP.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
I CAN HEAR THEM CHEWING.
WHO?
THE TERMITES.
THEY'RE EVERYWHERE,
NIBBLING AND EATING
AND SWALLOWING.
YOU'RE INSANE.
I CAN'T SLEEP HERE.
WHAT?
WE HAVE TO GO TO SOOKIE'S.
YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
UH-UH.
IT'S 11:00 AT NIGHT.
WELL, HERE. BUT SOMEWHERE IN
THE WORLD, IT'S STILL MILLER TIME.
MOM, YOU'RE WIGGING. GO PUT
ON SOME IMAGINARY EARPLUGS
TO DROWN OUT THE IMAGINARY
TERMITE SOUNDS AND GO BACK TO SLEEP.
BUT... BUT...
BED. NOW.
HUH.
YOU REALLY DON'T HEAR THEM?
NO. AND AS SOON AS YOU'RE
ASLEEP, YOU WON'T, EITHER.
OK, FINE. GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT.
UGH, I FEEL LIKE THEY'RE
CRAWLING ALL OVER ME.
OH, I KNOW. WITH THEIR
CREEPY LITTLE FANGY TEETH,
THEIR TAIL THINGS AND
THEIR POINTY TENTACLES.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
A TERMITE LOOKS LIKE.
UNLESS THEY'RE WEARING A FOUNDATION
REPAIR GUY T-SHIRT, I DON'T CARE.
YOU SURE SOOKIE WAS UP?
SHE ANSWERED THE PHONE.
AFTER HOW MANY RINGS?
I DON'T KNOW, 20 OR 30.
MOM, SHE WAS SLEEPING.
NO. NO. SHE'S JUST
DEAF IN ONE EAR.
SINCE WHEN?
NOW, APPARENTLY. WHAT?
WELL, YOU WOULD HAVE
TO BE DEAF IN ONE EAR
NOT TO HEAR THE PHONE
RING 20 OR 30 TIMES.
THERE THEY ARE, MY
LITTLE TERMITE WHISPERERS.
HEY, SOOKIE, SORRY
TO CALL SO LATE.
AND SO INCESSANTLY.
THEY WERE GETTING ORGANIZED. I
HEARD ONE OF THEM YELL, "CHARGE!"
WE WILL MAKE THIS UP TO YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? THIS IS
GREAT. IT'S LIKE A SLUMBER PARTY.
YOU SURE?
ABSOLUTELY. WE
CAN RAID THE FRIDGE,
WE CAN MAKE A NICE
AVOCADO-MANGO FACEMASK.
GET OUT THE TAROT CARDS,
TELL FORTUNES, PLAY TWISTER,
MAKE A... A HAAGEN-DAZS CHOCOLATE
CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM MILKSHAKE.
WE'LL WATCH PURPLE RAIN.
SOOKIE, IT'S MIDNIGHT.
OK, LET'S GO STRAIGHT
FOR THE MILKSHAKES.
GOOD THINKING.
I'LL PUT MY STUFF
IN THE GUEST ROOM.
SOOKIE, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU
LETTING US CRASH HERE TONIGHT.
SO CREEPY, JUST LYING THERE
LISTENING TO A THOUSAND TINY
LITTLE INSECTS JUST MOCKING ME.
"HA, HA! WE'RE EATING YOUR
HOUSE. TRY AND STOP US."
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TENT?
NEXT WEEK.
THAT SUCKS.
$2,000.
THAT SUCKS.
AND AFTER THE $2,000
CIRCUS-TENT FIASCO,
I HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER $15,000
TO KEEP MY HOUSE
FROM FALLING DOWN.
I LIKE THAT HOUSE.
I KNOW YOU DO.
I DON'T WANT IT TO FALL DOWN.
I KNOW YOU DON'T.
WELL, ANYWAY, I
CALLED THE BANK TODAY.
HOW DID THAT GO?
WELL, UH, WAIT, UH,
WHA-WHAT'S THAT?
YEAH, THEY'RE STILL LAUGHING.
WHAT?
THEY PASSED THE PHONE AROUND,
MADE ME ASK EVERYONE IN THE PLACE.
THAT IS TERRIBLE. OH,
COMPLETELY HEARTLESS.
ACCORDING TO THE JOLLY
BANKERS, I'M WORTH NOTHING.
THERE SO HAS TO BE
SOMETHING YOU CAN DO.
I WAS THINKING ABOUT OPENING
A COYOTE UGLY LEMONADE STAND.
INTERESTING.
WHAT'S INTERESTING?
HUH, NOTHIN'. NOTHIN'.
YOUR MOM IS APPARENTLY ONE OF
THE BIGGEST LOSERS IN STARS HOLLOW.
OK. CONTINUE.
I THINK YOU SHOULD CALL
THEM AGAIN TOMORROW.
NO, SOOKIE.
NO, I MEAN IT.
YOU'RE AN UPSTANDING CITIZEN,
AN ACTIVE PART OF THE COMMUNITY.
YEAH, YOU MADE ALL
OF THE DONKEY OUTFITS
FOR THE CHRISTMAS
FESTIVAL LAST YEAR.
YOU ORGANIZED THE "SAVE THE
HISTORIC OAK TREE" CAMPAIGN.
YOU PLAYED TEVYE IN THE STARS
HOLLOW COMMUNITY THEATER PRODUCTION
OF FIDDLER ON THE ROOF.
YES. WELL,
5 AND A HALF STARS FROM THE STARS
HOLLOW GAZETTE. UNHEARD OF TILL THEN.
THEY SHOULD TAKE
THAT INTO ACCOUNT.
YES, THEY SHOULD.
YES, THEY SHOULD,
BUT THEY WON'T.
HEY, UH, I BET THERE'S
A ROOM AT THE INN
YOU COULD STAY IN,
PART-TIME AT LEAST.
SOOKIE, WHAT WAS THAT? WHAT?
THAT NOISE.
WHAT NOISE?
SOOKIE, A HUGE THUD JUST
CAME FROM YOUR CLOSET.
AH, YEAH, THAT'S MY SHOES.
YOUR SHOES?
YEAH. THAT'S MY SHOE CLOSET.
AND, UM, SOMETIMES I DON'T,
UH, STACK THEM PROPERLY,
AND THEN, UH, THEY FALL
AND THEN THERE'S THE...
THE THUDDING SOUND.
AND THEN, UH... NO.
UH, AND THAT... THAT'S PROBABLY
THE SOUND THAT YOU JUST HEARD.
OH, THE ICE CREAM'S
GETTING MELTED.
JACKSON?
YES.
HOW YOU DOING?
I'M DOING FINE. YOU?
SOOKIE, JACKSON'S
HIDING IN THE CLOSET.
YES, HE IS.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?
WELL, BECAUSE YOU WERE UPSET,
YOU WERE BRINGING
RORY, I DIDN'T WANT HER
TO FEEL WEIRD OR UNCOMFORTABLE.
SO YOU STUCK
JACKSON IN THE CLOSET?
YEAH, SHE DID.
JACKSON, COME OUT.
I'M IN MY PAJAMAS.
SO ARE WE.
YEAH, BUT MINE ARE HUMILIATING.
WE WON'T LAUGH.
YES, YOU WILL.
I PROMISE WE WON'T.
I'M FINE.
WILL YOU BE FINE
THERE ALL NIGHT?
'CAUSE WE'RE STAYING ALL NIGHT.
KNOWING SOOKIE, SHE'LL
MAKE A BIG BREAKFAST.
THAT'S RIGHT. SO TONIGHT WILL
LAST UNTIL LATE TOMORROW MORNING.
SO THE BOTTOM LINE FOR YOU
HERE, BUDDY, IS YOU'LL BE HOLED UP
IN THAT CLOSET A
VERY, VERY LONG TIME.
IF I COME OUT, YOU HAVE
TO UNDERSTAND ONE THING.
OK.
I HAVE A COUSIN WHO
OWNS A XEROX COMPANY
THAT SPECIALIZES IN TAKING
PICTURES AND MAKING THEM INTO THINGS:
CALENDARS, COFFEE MUGS,
COLLECTOR PLATES, AND PAJAMAS.
OH, JACKSON'S WEARING
PICTURE PAJAMAS?
YES, HE IS.
DOES HE DO THIS OFTEN?
ALMOST EVERY NIGHT.
WHAT ARE THE PICTURES OF?
HIM. OH.
HIM. DURING HIGH SCHOOL,
IN HIS WRESTLING UNIFORM.
JACKSON, YOU HAVE TO
COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW.
NO.
WHY?
BECAUSE YOU SOUND TOO EAGER.
I'M NOT. AM I EAGER?
PUT YOUR PAWS DOWN.
JACKSON, I'M NOT EAGER. I
JUST WANT YOU TO COME OUT
AND BE COMFORTABLE, THAT'S ALL.
WELL, OK.
HUH.
OK, WELL, HONEY, WE'RE
MAKING MILKSHAKES.
YOU WANT TO COME IN AND HELP?
OK.
IF OUR HOUSE DOES FALL DOWN AND WE
END UP LIVING IN A HOLLOWED-OUT TREE,
THIS MOMENT MIGHT
MAKE IT ALL WORTH IT.
HELLO, LANE?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
MRS. KIM, HI. I WAS JUST...
OUT!
WHAT?
OUT. OUT. OUT.
BUT I WIPED OFF MY FEET.
MOVE. MOVE.
I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR
LANE, AND I THOUGHT SHE WAS...
TAYLOR SAYS YOU HAVE TERMITES.
I DON'T HAVE TERMITES,
MY HOUSE DOES.
YOU ARE A CARRIER.
I DON'T THINK YOU CAN
BE A TERMITE CARRIER.
YOU SPREAD IT ALL OVER TOWN.
MRS. KIM, WE DON'T
CONTROL THE TERMITES.
THEY MOVE ON THEIR OWN.
SEE ALL THE FURNITURE
IN THERE? WOOD.
ALL WOOD. YOU MUST GO. GO NOW!
CAN YOU JUST TELL
ME IF LANE IS HOME?
NO. DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS?
SCHOOL.
STILL?
YES. SHE'S THERE,
SHE'S STUDYING.
WHAT'S THAT MOVING BY YOUR FOOT?
WHAT?
I SEE SOMETHING MOVING.
NO. THERE'S
NOTHING. I SWEAR. OW!
WILL YOU TELL HER I CAME BY?
THEN SHE CHASED ME HALFWAY
DOWN THE STREET WITH A HOSE.
IT WAS LIKE A SCENE
FROM SILKWOOD.
WELL, NEWS TRAVELS WAY
TOO FAST AROUND HERE.
4 PEOPLE ASKED ME
WHEN WE WERE TENTING,
2 ASKED IF WE WERE MOVING, AND 1
PERSON ASKED ME IF WE WERE ATHEISTS.
SEE, WE HAVE TO STOP
TALKING TO PEOPLE.
WE HAVE TO STAY AT HOME
WITH THE CURTAINS DRAWN,
COLLECTING OLD NEWSPAPERS,
MUTTERING TO EACH OTHER,
AND EATING CUP-A-SOUP
AND SLIM JIMS.
HELLO? HI, RORY, IT'S MADELINE.
OH, HI.
LISTEN, I HAVE TO ASK
YOU A LITTLE FAVOR.
OK.
WELL, SEE, I'M WORKING ON
AN ARTICLE FOR THE FRANKLIN.
TOTALLY LAST MINUTE.
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
INTERESTING TO COMPARE
CHILTON'S OVERALL P.S.A.T. SCORES
TO OTHER PREP SCHOOLS IN THE AREA.
UH-HUH.
I'M TRYING TO COMPILE A
LIST OF PEOPLE'S SCORES,
ESPECIALLY THE TOP STUDENTS, AND
I REALIZED I DON'T HAVE YOURS YET.
OH, SO YOU WANT TO
KNOW MY P.S.A.T. SCORES?
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
PUT PARIS ON THE PHONE.
EXCUSE ME?
PARIS, LET ME TALK TO HER.
OH, PARIS ISN'T HERE.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE IS.
SHE'S PROBABLY AT HER HOUSE
OR MAYBE AT THE LIBRARY,
OR MAYBE SHE'S BUYING PENCILS
BECAUSE SHE GOES
THROUGH THEM SO FAST,
'CAUSE SHE PUSHES DOWN
ON THEM REALLY HARD.
THEN THEY BREAK...
MADELINE.
HOLD ON.
WHAT?
PATHETIC. WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME?
BYE, PARIS. TELL ME THOSE
SCORES. I HAVE TO KNOW. RORY?
PARIS AGAIN?
YEP.
YOU KNOW, I THINK IF WE PUT PARIS
AND MY MOTHER IN A ROOM TOGETHER,
THE WORLD WOULD IMPLODE.
I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND
FOR THE NEXT SCIENCE FAIR.
ENOUGH.
I'VE GOT COMPUTER SCREENS
FEELING SORRY FOR ME.
JEEZ, HOW MANY PLACES IS THAT?
OH, HONEY, IT'S NOT
THE AMOUNT OF PLACES
THAT TURNS YOU
DOWN THAT MATTERS,
IT'S THE QUALITY OF THE
PLACE THAT TURNS YOU DOWN.
WHEN YOU'VE GOT JACKO'S LOANS
NOT WANTING YOUR BUSINESS,
IT'S TIME TO HANG
OUT WITH THE COREYS.
SORRY.
IT'S OK. I WON'T THINK
ABOUT IT TONIGHT.
I'LL THINK ABOUT IT
TOMORROW. AT TARA.
YOU READY?
ONE SEC.
YOU KNOW, MOM, I
HATE TO BRING THIS UP,
BUT I THINK THERE'S AN OBVIOUS
SOLUTION TO OUR PROBLEM.
I KNOW, HON. YOU DO?
YES. UH, AND FRANKLY, I THINK IF
I SOLD YOU INTO WHITE SLAVERY,
I WOULD MISS YOU.
MOM.
PLEASE DON'T GO
WHERE YOU'RE GOING.
I THINK THEY WOULD SAY YES.
OF COURSE THEY'D SAY YES.
AND THAT YES WOULD
BE FOLLOWED BY:
"OK, OK, ENOUGH ALREADY.
MY GOD, PLEASE, STOP. I'VE
GOT NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE."
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
THAT IS COMPLETELY TRUE.
GRANDMA AND GRANDPA WILL HELP.
RORY, I WENT TO MY PARENTS
FOR YOU FOR CHILTON.
WHY? BECAUSE THAT WAS WORTH
ALL THE OBLIGATION. THIS IS NOT.
THIS IS OUR HOME.
I'LL FIND A WAY TO FIX IT.
BUT HOW?
I DON'T KNOW YET.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW, THEN
MAYBE THERE'S NOT ANOTHER WAY.
THERE'S ALWAYS ANOTHER WAY.
WAS THERE ANOTHER
WAY WITH CHILTON?
THAT WAS DIFFERENT.
WHY WAS THAT DIFFERENT?
BECAUSE I SAID
THAT WAS DIFFERENT.
I'M THE ONE DOING THE GROVELING
AND THAT GETS YOU
JUDGMENT RIGHTS,
AND I'M JUDGING THAT
THIS IS DIFFERENT.
THE REMAINING
JUDGE BEGS TO DIFFER.
I KNOW YOU MEAN WELL.
I'M NOT GONNA DEAL WITH
MY PARENTS ON THIS ONE. NO.
YOU'RE BEING STUBBORN.
OH, HAVE I SHOCKED YOU?
FINE, LET'S GO.
WHERE'S GRANDPA TONIGHT?
HE'S AT WORK.
EXPLAIN TO HIM
THAT QUITTING MEANS
YOU DON'T GO BACK
TO THE JOB, YOU QUIT.
HE DID NOT QUIT. HE RESIGNED.
HMM, SAME RULES APPLY.
NO, WHEN YOU RESIGN, YOU
HAVE TO PUT IN CERTAIN TIME
TO GET THINGS IN ORDER.
HE HAS CLIENTS TO SEE,
CERTAIN ACCOUNTS TO CLOSE OUT.
IS THAT HARD FOR HIM?
ACTUALLY, I THINK HE'S
RATHER ENJOYING IT.
GOOD.
YES, IT IS GOOD.
WHAT ARE YOU TAKING?
ROOFIES. ASPIRIN.
ARE YOU GETTING SICK?
NO, I HAVE A HEADACHE.
HAVING A HEADACHE
MEANS YOU'RE SICK.
YOU THINK IT'S NORMAL
TO HAVE A HEADACHE?
I JUST HAVE A TENSION HEADACHE.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE
TO BE TENSE ABOUT?
OH, I CAN'T BEGIN TO THINK.
YOU SHOULD LIE DOWN.
I'M FINE.
YOU WORK TOO HARD.
NO, I DON'T.
IF YOU DIDN'T, YOU WOULDN'T
HAVE A TENSION HEADACHE.
IT'S NOT A WORK
TENSION HEADACHE, MOM.
SO THEN YOU ARE SICK.
ACTUALLY, I AM. I'M SICK.
I KNEW IT. WHAT'S WRONG?
CONSUMPTION WITH A
TOUCH OF THE VAPORS.
I'M GOING FOR A LEECHING
TONIGHT AFTER COFFEE.
SHE'S GOT A CASE
OF EXTERMINATORITIS.
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
NOTHING.
WE HAVE TERMITES.
OH, THAT'S TERRIBLE.
IT'S NOT SO BAD.
THEY'RE EATING OUR WHOLE HOUSE.
THEY SAY THANK YOU.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, THEY'RE
EATING YOUR WHOLE HOUSE?
WE FOUND OUT THAT WE HAVE
ALL THESE FOUNDATION PROBLEMS
AND IT'S GONNA BE
VERY EXPENSIVE TO FIX.
MOM CAN'T GET A
LOAN. THAT IS NOT TRUE.
YOU WERE TURNED DOWN BY 5 BANKS.
HEY, I MADE UP JACKO'S
LOANS AND STUFF.
FINE, 4 BANKS.
MOM. UH, WAIT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M WRITING YOU A CHECK.
NO, YOU'RE NOT. HOLD ON HERE.
HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED? NOTHING.
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
JUST TELL ME HOW MUCH.
I CAN HANDLE THIS.
IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE
YOU CAN HANDLE IT. I CAN.
FINE. IF YOU WON'T
TELL ME HOW MUCH,
I'LL LEAVE THE AMOUNT
BLANK, YOU CAN FILL IT IN LATER.
MOM, STOP.
YOU TOOK MY PEN.
MOM, I APPRECIATE THE THOUGHT,
BUT I DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY.
SO YOU'D RATHER HAVE
YOUR HOUSE FALL DOWN
THAN LET YOUR MOTHER HELP YOU?
MOM, THE HOUSE WON'T FALL DOWN.
LET'S NOT MAKE IT A BIG ISSUE.
LET'S SIT DOWN, HAVE A
DRINK, AND HAVE DINNER, OK?
ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU.
ARE YOU GOING TO
GIVE ME BACK MY PEN?
YEAH. AFTER DINNER.
MOM, STOP IT. TALK TO ME.
IT'S BEEN 2 HOURS SINCE YOU'VE
EVEN LOOKED IN MY DIRECTION.
OK, I GET IT, YOU'RE MAD.
I DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW.
YOU WERE BEING STUBBORN.
GO TO BED.
YOU DIDN'T WANT TO
ASK FOR HELP, SO I DID.
YOU REMEMBER THE CONVERSATION
WE HAD BEFORE WE LEFT HOME TONIGHT?
YES, BUT...
I TOLD YOU GOING TO MY
PARENTS WAS NOT AN OPTION.
I KNOW.
I TOLD YOU SEVERAL TIMES THAT
ASKING MY PARENTS WAS NOT AN OPTION.
I MADE A FEW QUIPS TO
LIGHTEN THE SUBJECT MATTER,
BUT I STILL MADE MY
POINT PRETTY DAMN CLEAR.
FINE. BUT WE HAVE A
REAL PROBLEM HERE.
OH, YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?
YOU THINK I SIT AROUND ALL
DAY SWAPPING WITTICISMS
WITH ROBERT BENCHLEY
AT THE ALGONQUIN?
NO. I AM THINKING AND WORRYING
AND USING THE COMPUTER,
AND I HATE USING IT.
WHICH IS EXACTLY
WHY I BROUGHT THIS UP.
YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO BRING IT UP!
WHY?
BECAUSE I TOLD YOU
NOT TO, THAT'S WHY.
BUT...
NO. THERE ARE NO BUTS.
THERE WILL BE NO "BUTS" HERE.
THERE'S "I'M SORRY, MOM,"
THERE'S "I SCREWED UP, MOM."
THERE'S "I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN,
MOM," BUT THERE ARE NO "BUTS."
BUT... OUT!
MOM... GO TO BED. WE'RE DONE.
THINK FAST.
VERY GOOD.
YOU THREW A
BASKETBALL AT MY HEAD.
NO, I THREW A BASKETBALL
PAST YOUR HEAD.
WHAT IF I HAD TURNED
AROUND WHEN YOU SAID THAT?
THEN YOU MIGHT HAVE CAUGHT IT,
THEREBY COMPLETING
THE "THINK FAST" EQUATION.
I DON'T CATCH BASKETBALLS.
DULY NOTED.
I DON'T EVEN LIKE BASKETBALLS.
HEY, I'M VERY SORRY.
IN FACT, OUT OF ALL THE
SPORTING BALLS IN THE WORLD,
THE BASKETBALL IS
MY LEAST FAVORITE.
RORY. THEY'RE ROUND AND HARD.
RORY.
AND THEY'RE ORANGE.
YOU DO REALIZE HOW
INSANE YOU SOUND?
YES.
OK, JUST CHECKING.
I'M SORRY. I'M IN
A HORRIBLE MOOD.
HADN'T NOTICED.
WE'VE HAD FIGHTS BEFORE.
YOU AND ME?
ME AND MOM. AH.
BUT THIS ONE IS
PARTICULARLY CRAZY.
WE HAVE A SITUATION HERE,
AND SHE'S BEING SO STUBBORN.
HUH.
WHAT?
WHAT "WHAT"?
WHAT WAS WITH THE "HUH"?
NOTHING.
NO. THERE WAS A
MEANING BEHIND THAT "HUH."
THAT WAS A LOADED "HUH,"
THAT WASN'T A NORMAL "HUH."
YOU MEANT TO SAY SOMETHING,
AND NOW YOU'RE TAKING IT BACK.
OK, NOW...
DON'T USE THAT "HUH" IF YOU'RE
NOT PREPARED TO DEFEND IT.
WHY AREN'T YOU SAYING ANYTHING?
BECAUSE WORDS ARE A VERY
DANGEROUS THING RIGHT NOW.
YOU WERE SAYING THAT I'M
STUBBORN JUST LIKE MY MOTHER.
I WAS SAYING THAT IN ADDITION
TO ALL OF THE WONDERFUL,
AMAZING QUALITIES
THAT THE TWO OF YOU SHARE,
THERE'S POSSIBLY, ON OCCASION,
A SIMILAR TENDENCY
TO DIG YOUR HEELS IN.
I HATE IT WHEN WE FIGHT.
I KNOW.
SHE WAS SO MAD.
YOU'LL MAKE UP.
WANT TO GET A COFFEE?
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL GO GET MY BALL.
IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL
BETTER, A CAR RAN OVER IT.
I NEED TO GET COFFEE. NOW.
HI, MR. REGALSKI, IT'S
LORELAI GILMORE. AGAIN. YES.
JUST LIKE THE PINK
BUNNY WITH THE DRUM.
UH, ANYWAY, I WAS
WONDERING IF, UM, YOU HAVE HAD
A CHANCE TO RECONSIDER MY LOAN.
UH...
NO, I THINK IT'S ENERGIZER.
I KNOW YOU SAID NO,
BUT, UM, YOU KNOW,
SOMETIMES PEOPLE SAY NO,
AND THEN THEY WAKE UP ONE
MORNING A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER
AND THINK, "HEY, I SHOULDN'T
HAVE TURNED DOWN THAT NICE MOM
"WITH THE GOOD JOB
AND GREAT CREDENTIALS
AND THE REFERENCES
UP THE WAZOO."
I... I DO LIKE THE
WORD "WAZOO." HMM.
I UNDERSTAND. OK.
WELL, I'LL GIVE YOU A CALL
IN A COUPLE OF DAYS THEN.
THANK YOU.
PERHAPS YOU ARE TAKING
THE WRONG APPROACH.
MEANING?
YOU TRIED TO CONVINCE
THEM OF YOUR VIRTUE.
PERHAPS IT'S TIME TO
OFFER THEM A LAP DANCE.
YOU DIDN'T!
I WAS KIDDING. SORT OF.
OH, DEAR.
I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING,
AND I'M NOT SURE
EXACTLY WHERE TO DRAW THE LINE.
YOU KNOW, IN THAILAND, WOMEN
DO THIS TRICK WITH A PING-PONG BALL,
THAT IS A BIG CROWD PLEASER.
LINE DRAWN. THANK YOU.
INDEPENDENCE INN.
MICHEL SPEAKING.
AH, YES. SHE IS RIGHT HERE.
YOUR MOTHER.
HI, MOM.
LORELAI, I CALLED TO TELL YOU
I TALKED TO MILES HAHN TODAY.
WELL, THAT SOUNDS
VERY NICE. I'M GLAD.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHO MILES HAHN IS?
NOT A BIT.
HE'S THE PRESIDENT OF
THE FIRST NATIONAL BANK.
WE'VE BEEN DOING
BUSINESS WITH HIM FOR YEARS.
HE'S BECOME A VERY DEAR
FRIEND OF OURS ACTUALLY.
WHAT DOES THAT
HAVE TO DO WITH ME?
WELL, I BROUGHT UP YOUR
LITTLE DILEMMA TO HIM.
OH, BOY!
AND HE TOLD ME THAT IF YOU WERE
IN THE MOOD TO COME TALK TO HIM,
YOU COULD FEEL FREE TO
DO SO, ON THURSDAY AT 3:15.
SO YOU WRANGLED ME A
MEETING AT YOUR BANK.
I ASKED A FRIEND FOR ADVICE.
WHAT ELSE DID YOU
ASK HIM FOR, MOM?
LORELAI, I SIMPLY ASKED
A MAN TO TALK TO YOU.
WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT, OR WHAT COMES
OF THAT TALK IS STRICTLY UP TO YOU.
WELL, THANKS, MOM, BUT I'M FINE.
SO YOU GOT A LOAN?
I GOT A LEAD.
A LEAD ON A LOAN?
YES. HOW NICE.
IF YOU COULD JUST
GET AN ACTUAL LOAN.
OK, MOM, I GOT TO
GET BACK TO WORK.
THURSDAY AT 3:15.
MOM, TELL YOUR FRIEND THANK YOU,
BUT I'M AFRAID I WON'T BE ABLE TO MAKE IT.
HE'LL BE THERE WHETHER YOU
SHOW UP OR NOT. IT'S UP TO YOU.
ALL I DID WAS MAKE AN
APPOINTMENT, LORELAI. THAT'S ALL.
GREAT. BYE, MOM.
HI. MR. REGALSKI, PLEASE.
IT'S LORELAI GILMORE.
OH, I... I JUST SPOKE
TO HIM 5 MINUTES AGO.
WHEN DO YOU EXPECT
HIM BACK FROM FRANCE?
OK, SO, UH, I'LL CALL YOU LATER.
THANKS FOR THE COFFEE.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
BYE.
BYE.
THAT'S FOR ME NOT THINKING FAST.
PLEASE NEVER THINK FAST AGAIN.
I'LL TRY MY HARDEST.
WE NEED TO TALK.
OK, LET'S TALK.
NICE OUTFIT.
THANK YOU.
SO, I GUESS THIS IS WHY YOU'VE
BEEN AWOL THE PAST FEW WEEKS.
PRETTY MUCH.
SO, YOU JUST HAD THE URGE TO STAND
ON TOP OF ANOTHER GIRL'S SHOULDERS?
DON'T BE LIKE THAT. LIKE WHAT?
LIKE YOU'RE BEIN'. IT MAKES
IT IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL YOU.
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME.
I KNOW. WHY?
BECAUSE.
OK, HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF BEING A
PROSECUTOR? YOU HAVE REAL POTENTIAL.
I DIDN'T TELL YOU, BECAUSE
I KNEW YOU'D ACT LIKE THIS.
NO. I'M ACTING LIKE THIS
BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T TELL ME.
OH, SO IF I'D COME
UP TO YOU AND I SAID,
"RORY, I WANT TO
BECOME A CHEERLEADER,"
YOU WOULD HAVE SAID... WHY?
EXACTLY.
EXACTLY WHAT?
LANE, THIS IS WEIRD.
WE ALWAYS USED TO MAKE
FUN OF CHEERLEADERS.
YOU AND I, WE WOULD RAG ON JANIE
FERTMAN AND HIDE DURING PEP RALLIES.
AND NOW ALL OF A
SUDDEN, YOU'RE PEPPY.
I'M NOT PEPPY.
WELL, YOU LOOK PEPPY.
LOOK, YOU'RE NOT
AROUND MUCH ANYMORE.
SO THIS IS MY FAULT?
AND YOU HAVE DEAN.
THIS IS HIS FAULT? IT'S JUST...
I DON'T KNOW WHY. I JUST WANTED
TO DO IT. I JUST WANTED TO TRY IT.
AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE I SHOULD
JUSTIFY OR EXPLAIN IT TO YOU...
THEN DON'T.
FINE. I WON'T. OK.
ALL RIGHT.
I FORGOT MY POM.
YOUR WHAT?
2 ARE POMPOMS. 1'S A POM.
WELL, HOW'S IT LOOK?
IT'S DARK. HAND
ME THE FLASHLIGHT.
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE THOSE
HATS WITH LIGHTS ON 'EM?
I FLIP BURGERS FOR A LIVIN'.
RIGHT. RIGHT.
OK.
I THINK I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.
HOW WAS IT? WAS THERE A TERMITE
HOUSING DEVELOPMENT UNDER?
GOLF COURSES AND
CONDOS WITH REC ROOMS?
IT'S ACTUALLY NOT TOO BAD.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW? YOU
FLIP BURGERS FOR A LIVING.
I MEAN, THERE'S
DEFINITELY A LITTLE DAMAGE.
YEAH, BUT... BUT KIRK SAYS THAT
THE JOISTS WERE TOTALLY GONE.
YEAH, THEY ARE.
AND THE FOUNDATION HAD LOST
ALL ITS STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY.
THAT'S TRUE, TOO.
GREAT. SO I'M STILL SCREWED.
NOT NECESSARILY.
LUKE, I NEED $15,000,
WHICH I... I... I CAN'T FIND,
DON'T HAVE, AND IF I DON'T FIND,
THE HOUSE IS GONNA FALL DOWN.
I CAN HELP YOU
WITH THAT. YOU CAN?
I CAN GET A COUPLE GUYS
WHO CAN DO THE WORK.
YOU CAN FIX THIS?
WELL, I CAN HELP. I KNOW
A GOOD CONTRACTOR
WHO DID SOME WORK ON THE DINER.
WHAT ABOUT THE MONEY?
YOU WON'T HAVE TO
DEAL WITH THAT NOW.
I WON'T?
YOU CAN PAY IN
INSTALLMENTS IF YOU WANT.
MONTHLY, BIMONTHLY. WHATEVER.
WHATEVER YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH.
SO, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
UH, YOU AND SOME GUYS WHO
ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING
ARE GONNA COME
OVER, FIX MY HOUSE
AND I PAY THEM BACK
WHENEVER I WANT?
THAT'S RIGHT.
'CAUSE I'M TONY SOPRANO?
ONLY SCARIER.
NOW, LUKE, WHEN I FINALLY DO
MAKE OUT THIS INSTALLMENT CHECK,
UH, WHO SHOULD I MAKE IT OUT TO?
WELL, YOU CAN, UH, MAKE
IT OUT TO ME IF YOU LIKE.
OH, SO BASICALLY YOU WOULD
BE FRONTING ME THE MONEY?
WELL, YEAH. BUT
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
LUKE, THAT'S A LOAN.
NO, IT'S JUST A TEMPORARY
EXCHANGE OF MONEY FOR SERVICES
THAT WILL BE PAID BACK WHEN
YOU FINALLY HAVE THE... IT'S A LOAN.
MAN, YOU SUCK AS A LIAR.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
I CAN'T TAKE IT.
I KNOW, BUT IT WAS WORTH A SHOT.
HEY, UH, DEAN CALLED TWICE.
RAH, RAH, RAH.
YOU TWO...
DON'T ASK. OK.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
OH, EXCUSE ME. COULD YOU TELL
ME WHERE MR. HAHN'S OFFICE IS?
YEAH. IT'S RIGHT THERE.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE NOT SERIOUSLY
SITTING THERE.
NO. IT'S A HOLOGRAM.
LIFELIKE, ISN'T IT?
MOM, WHY ARE YOU HERE?
I WANTED TO SEE
IF YOU'D SHOW UP.
I DID. I SEE.
MOM, YOU MADE THIS
APPOINTMENT FOR ME, NOT YOU. ME.
I DID. BUT I KNOW MILES, AND I
THOUGHT MY PRESENCE IN THERE...
UH-UH, IN WHERE?
IN THE MEETING.
OK. BYE.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
COME BACK HERE, LORELAI.
LORELAI, STOP. WILL
YOU STOP ALREADY?
I'M LEAVING, MOM.
WHY? BECAUSE I'M HERE?
THIS IS A BUSINESS MEETING.
I'M NOT GOING IN
THERE WITH MY MOMMY,
ESPECIALLY SINCE I
LEFT MY BLANKIE AT HOME.
YOU'RE STUBBORN
AND SHORTSIGHTED.
CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY
YOU LET YOUR SILLY PRIDE
KEEP YOU FROM FIXING YOUR HOME.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU
CAN'T STOP YOURSELF FROM BUTTING IN
WHERE YOU... WHERE
YOU DON'T BELONG.
I MADE THIS APPOINTMENT.
AGAINST MY WILL. YOU NEEDED IT.
I DIDN'T ASK FOR IT.
LORELAI, THIS MAN COULD
SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS.
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?
FINE. I'LL GO IN. YOU GO HOME.
I CAN'T GO HOME NOW. HIS ASSISTANT
KNOWS I'M HERE. IT WOULD BE RUDE.
OK. HERE'S THE DEAL.
WE WILL BOTH GO IN.
YOU WILL GO IN THAT ROOM,
BUT YOU WILL NOT SAY A WORD.
WHAT? BUT I COULDN'T POSSIBLY...
YOU'LL SAY HELLO. YOU'LL
ASK HOW HIS WIFE IS.
AND THAT'S IT. AFTER THAT,
YOU WILL SAY OR DO NOTHING.
YOU WILL SIT IN A CORNER, OFFER NO
OPINIONS, AND PULL A CLARENCE THOMAS.
AM I PERFECTLY CLEAR?
LORELAI...
IT'S THE ONLY
WAY I'M DOING THIS.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE QUIET.
I WILL. I PROMISE.
I SWEAR, ONE OF THESE DAYS,
"ALICE, POW! RIGHT TO THE MOON."
WHAT ON EARTH ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WHO'S ALICE?
OH, THERE YOU ARE. I
THOUGHT YOU WERE HERE.
I COME OUT, AND YOU WERE GONE.
OH, WELL, WE LEFT
SOMETHING IN THE CAR.
OH, SHE LEFT SOMETHING
IN THE CAR, NOT ME.
I NEVER DO THAT. THAT'S
IRRESPONSIBLE AND FORGETFUL.
2 THINGS WHICH I AM NOT.
MILES, THIS IS MY
DAUGHTER LORELAI.
HELLO. IT'S A THRILL
TO FINALLY MEET YOU.
SAME HERE. THANK YOU.
WOULD YOU TWO LIKE
SOME COFFEE? NO.
COFFEE WOULD BE
WONDERFUL, THANK YOU.
COMING RIGHT UP.
HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO
YOU NOT SAYING ANYTHING?
ACCEPTING COFFEE
IS BEING SOCIABLE.
I HAVEN'T ASKED
ABOUT HIS WIFE YET.
OK, COFFEE'S ON ITS WAY. WHY
DON'T WE GO ON IN AND SIT DOWN?
THAT WOULD BE LOVELY.
SO I UNDERSTAND THAT
RICHARD'S RETIRING.
YES. HE'S GOING TO
BE A MAN OF LEISURE.
WELL, HOW NICE. ANY BIG PLANS?
A ROUND-THE-WORLD
TRIP HAS BEEN DISCUSSED.
REALLY? ANY DATE SET?
NO, NOT YET.
JUST CHECKING.
AH, MARNIE, THANK YOU.
SO I GUESS WE SHOULD
PROBABLY GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.
LORELAI, YOUR MOTHER TELLS ME
YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE FINDING A LOAN.
YES, I AM.
UM, YOU KNOW, BEFORE WE
TALK ABOUT THIS, IT'S SO FUNNY,
MY MOM HAS JUST
BEEN DYING TO ASK YOU
HOW YOUR WIFE IS DOING.
RIGHT, MOM?
YES. HOW IS CHERYL?
WELL, SHE'S FINE.
OK, GOOD. NOW THAT WE GOT IT
OUT OF THE WAY, ABOUT MY SITUATION.
WELL, EMILY TELLS ME
THAT YOU HAVE TERMITES.
YES, WE DO, AND UNFORTUNATELY,
THEY HAVE DAMAGED THE
FOUNDATION OF MY HOUSE.
THAT COULD BE TERRIBLE.
REMEMBER WHEN YOU AND RICHARD HAD
THAT FOUNDATION PROBLEM
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO?
WELL, YOU HAD A FLOOD IN
YOUR BASEMENT, WASN'T THAT IT?
WELL, ACTUALLY...
YOU KNOW, MR. HAHN,
I APPRECIATE YOU TAKING THE
TIME TO MEET WITH ME TODAY
AND I KNOW THAT THE ONLY REASON
YOU DID IS BECAUSE OF MY MOTHER,
BUT SHE'S REALLY HERE TODAY
AS A KIND OF SILENT PARTICIPANT.
NOT EVEN ACTUALLY A
PARTICIPANT, JUST A SILENT.
UM, SO, I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU
WOULD TREAT ME JUST LIKE ANY OTHER PERSON
WHO'S WALKING IN OFF THE
STREET AND ASKING FOR A LOAN.
OH, WELL, OF COURSE, IF
THAT'S WHAT YOU'D LIKE.
IT IS. THANK YOU.
NOW, I'VE BROUGHT, UM,
ALL MY PREVIOUS LOAN DOCUMENTS,
AND ALSO MY BANK STATEMENTS,
NUMEROUS RECOMMENDATIONS,
INCLUDING A LETTER FROM MY EMPLOYER
WHICH SAYS SHE'S
NOT GOING TO FIRE ME
BEFORE YOU GET YOUR MONEY BACK.
HMM, YOU'VE TAKEN OUT 2
PREVIOUS LOANS ON THIS HOUSE?
UM, YES.
THIS IS THE ESTIMATED
WORTH OF THE HOUSE?
WELL, UH, YES.
THIS IS THE AMOUNT IN
YOUR SAVINGS ACCOUNT?
YES.
ANY OTHER ACCOUNTS
NOT LISTED HERE?
NO.
ANY OTHER COLLATERAL
NOT LISTED HERE?
NO.
WELL, MISS GILMORE, I'M SORRY.
I CAN'T HELP YOU.
UH, THAT'S IT? SO FAST?
YOU... YOU DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AT
THE LETTERS OF RECOMMENDATION.
I'M SURE YOU'RE A WELL-LIKED
PERSON, MS. GILMORE.
UNFORTUNATELY, BEING WELL-LIKED
IS NOT GROUNDS FOR A LOAN.
OH, BUT I AM GOOD FOR THE MONEY.
I, UH, PAY OFF ALL MY DEBTS,
AND I WORK REALLY HARD.
I'VE... I'VE BEEN THE
EXECUTIVE MANAGER
OF THE INDEPENDENCE
INN FOR 4 YEARS NOW.
MS. GILMORE, THIS IS NOT A
REFLECTION OF YOU AS A PERSON.
YOU SIMPLY DON'T HAVE
WHAT THE BANK REQUIRES
OF EVERY OTHER PERSON OFF
THE STREET TO QUALIFY FOR A LOAN.
THEREFORE, THERE'S
NOTHING I CAN DO.
WELL, NOW, JUST THINK ABOUT
THIS, BECAUSE I HAVE A KID
AND SHE'S GOTTEN AWFULLY
USED TO THE WHOLE CONCEPT
OF... OF HAVING A
ROOF OVER HER HEAD.
I'M SORRY.
I CAN'T LEAVE WITHOUT THIS LOAN.
I'M SORRY, BUT... NO, I MEAN IT.
I... I CAN'T LEAVE WITHOUT KNOWING
THERE'S A WAY TO SAVE MY HOUSE,
SO I'M JUST ASKING YOU TO TAKE 5
MINUTES AND THINK OF SOMETHING,
ANYTHING, THAT I CAN
DO TO GET THIS MONEY.
WELL, YOU COULD GET SOMEONE
TO CO-SIGN THE LOAN WITH YOU.
THAT'S IT? THAT'S
MY ONLY OPTION?
I'M AFRAID SO.
YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS, DIDN'T YOU?
MOM?
HMM?
WOULD YOU BE WILLING?
IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE.
WONDERFUL. I'LL HAVE THE
PAPERS DRAWN UP TODAY.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MORE COFFEE?
I WOULD LOVE SOME. THANK YOU.
WELL, I THINK THAT
WENT VERY WELL.
SO WHAT'S THE NEW ARRANGEMENT?
EXCUSE ME?
YOU PAID FOR CHILTON. I GAVE
YOU FRIDAY NIGHT DINNERS.
WHAT'S THIS, SUNDAY NIGHT TEA?
LORELAI, I DID THIS
FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
WEDNESDAY NIGHT BRIDGE CLUB?
LORELAI. MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL?
STOP IT!
WHAT, MOM? JUST PLEASE TELL
ME. WHAT... WHAT DO I OWE YOU?
YOU OWE ME NOTHING.
I JUST WANTED TO DO SOMETHING
NICE FOR MY DAUGHTER, THAT'S ALL.
IT'S ALREADY SHAPING UP
TO BE THE BEST SEASON EVER
DUE IN PART TO
THE RECENT ARRIVAL
OF OUR BRAND-NEW BASKETBALL
COACH, LOU McGILLIAN,
FORMALLY THE PRESIDING LEGAL
COUNSEL FOR THE CHICAGO BULLS.
LOU, COME ON UP
HERE. TAKE A BOW.
THOSE OTHER TEAMS
HAD BETTER WATCH OUT.
WE'VE GOT ONE OF THE BIG
BOYS ON OUR SIDE NOW, HUH?
SHAQ WHO? IN ADDITION
TO OUR NEW COACH,
WE'RE EXTREMELY PROUD
OF OUR BRAND NEW UNIFORMS
THOUGHTFULLY SUPPLIED BY YOU,
THE CITIZENS OF STARS HOLLOW,
AND CAREFULLY CLEANED BY THE
GOOD PEOPLE AT TRICKY'S DRY CLEANERS.
"IF IT'S STICKY, TRY TRICKY'S."
SO LET'S HEAR IT FOR TRICKY'S.
I'M TELLING YOU,
THEY ARE TERRIFIC.
RED AND WHITE, VERY DURABLE.
LITTLE STRIPES ON THE
SIDE. OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHY DON'T YOU JUST SEE
FOR YOURSELVES? COME ON.
SHOW THEM YOUR UNIFORMS.
MR. DOOSE, IT'S
FREEZIN' OUT HERE.
WHY DON'T YOU LET 'EM
SEE 'EM AT THE GAME?
YOUNG MAN, THE PEOPLE IN THIS TOWN
PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THOSE UNIFORMS.
NOW YOU SHOW THEM
WHAT THEY PAID FOR.
THIS IS CRAZY.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I
GIVE YOU THE NEW UNIFORMS
OF THE FABULOUS
FIGHTING MINUTEMEN!
LOOK AT THEM SHIVERING UP THERE.
THEY'RE SUCH WIMPS THESE DAYS.
WHEN I WAS ON THE TEAM, IT
WAS DIFFERENT. WE WERE ROWDY.
3 OF US WOULD HAVE
BEEN PANTSED BY NOW.
HEY.
OH, HEY.
I GOT YOUR NOTE.
YEAH, WELL, PINNING IT TO THE
MALLOMARS IS ALWAYS A SAFE BET.
COFFEE?
PLEASE.
SO, UM, GRANDMA AND I
WENT TO THE BANK TODAY.
HOW DID IT GO?
WE GOT THE LOAN.
GOOD. SO EVERYTHING'S OK.
YEAH, WELL.
WOW, NICE UNIFORMS.
I'M SORRY I TOLD
GRANDMA ABOUT IT.
OH, HON, LISTEN, THERE'S
GONNA BE A TIME IN OUR LIVES
WHERE OCCASIONALLY
I'M GONNA MAKE A MISTAKE.
IT HASN'T HAPPENED
YET, BUT IT MIGHT.
SURE.
I'VE EARNED THE RIGHT TO MAKE
THAT MISTAKE, AND THE RIGHT
TO FIX ANY PROBLEMS
WITHOUT INTERFERENCE.
I JUST THOUGHT THEY COULD HELP.
I DIDN'T WANT THEIR HELP. BUT...
RORY, HAVE YOU EVER
BEEN WITHOUT FOOD
OR CLOTHES OR BOOKS OR
BOOK COVERS, FOR THAT MATTER,
OR ANYTHING ELSE
YOU EVER NEEDED?
NO.
THE REASON FOR THAT IS ME.
I HAVE A GOOD TRACK RECORD
FOR KEEPING YOU ALIVE.
YEAH, YOU DO.
SO, WHEN I TELL YOU I CAN HANDLE
SOMETHING, YOU MUST RESPECT THAT.
ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU HAVE NO
EVIDENCE PROVING I WON'T. UNDERSTAND?
YEAH. I UNDERSTAND. I'M SORRY.
I OFFICIALLY DECLARE
THIS FIGHT OVER.
I'LL DRINK TO THAT.
STARS HOLLOW HIGH.
LET'S HEAR IT!
STARS HOLLOW HIGH!
IS THAT LANE?
STARS HOLLOW HIGH!
YEAH, THAT'S LANE.
HA.
STARS HOLLOW HIGH!
STARS HOLLOW HIGH!
ONCE MORE.
STARS HOLLOW HIGH!
ONE STEP BEYOND!
♪
ONE STEP BEYOND!
♪ WHEN SOME LOUD BRAGGART
STARTS TO PUT ME DOWN ♪
♪ AND SAYS HIS SCHOOL IS GREAT ♪
♪ I TELL HIM RIGHT AWAY ♪
♪ "WHAT'S THE MATTER, BUDDY? ♪
♪ AIN'T YOU HEARD
OF MY SCHOOL? ♪
♪ IT'S NUMBER
ONE IN THE STATE" ♪
HEY.
HI.
SO, THE MUSIC SELECTION,
YOURS, I ASSUME?
YEAH. THERE'S A BIT OF AN
EDUCATION PROCESS GOING ON.
I LIKED IT. VERY JOHN WATERS.
THANK YOU.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK
THAT YOU CAN'T TELL ME THINGS.
I DON'T WANT TO
NOT TELL YOU THINGS.
AND THIS WHOLE
CHEERLEADING THING...
I KNOW. IT'S WEIRD.
IT'S NOT WEIRD.
IF YOU WERE DOING IT PROFESSIONALLY,
IT WOULD BE WEIRD. BUT THIS?
IT LOOKED FUN.
IT WAS FUN.
AND, HEY, YOU GOT THEM
TO CHEER TO MADNESS
SO THERE MUST BE SOME
HOPE LEFT IN THE WORLD.
REST ASSURED THAT I REMAIN ME:
A NICO-OBSESSED, EXENE WANNABE
WITH 40 KOREAN
BIBLES UNDER HER BED.
I JUST BOUNCE A LITTLE MORE.
SO, CAN CHEERLEADERS GET COFFEE?
OH, YEAH. COFFEE'S A MUST.
YEAH?
IT KEEPS YOU PERKY.
♪ SO BE TRUE TO
YOUR SCHOOL NOW ♪
♪ JUST LIKE YOU WOULD
TO YOUR GIRL OR GUY ♪
♪ BE TRUE TO YOUR SCHOOL ♪
♪ AND LET YOUR COLORS FLY ♪
♪ BE TRUE TO YOUR SCHOOL ♪
SO MOM, THEY STARTED WORK
ON THE HOUSE YESTERDAY.
OH, GOOD.
YEAH, THESE GUYS COME
AT, LIKE, THE CRACK OF DAWN
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN
THERE'S ALL THIS
HAMMERING AND DRILLING
AND DUST FLYING EVERYWHERE.
IT'S PRETTY IMPRESSIVE ACTUALLY.
THEY'RE A NICE BUNCH, TOO.
AND... AND THE BEST PART IS, I'VE BEEN
OUT THERE 10 TIMES TO BRING THEM COFFEE
AND I HAVEN'T SEEN
A BUTT CRACK YET.
HOW NICE. THEY SHOULD PAINT THAT
SLOGAN ON THEIR TRUCK. EXCUSE ME.
WHERE YOU GOIN'?
TO GET SOME MORE BREAD.
I THINK I'LL GO HELP.
I THINK THAT WOULD BE GOOD.
MOM, I WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU.
FOR WHAT?
OH, FOR DOUBTING YOUR
MOTIVES IN THIS WHOLE LOAN THING.
I'M NOT USED TO PEOPLE DOIN'
THINGS WITHOUT STRINGS ATTACHED.
BY "PEOPLE" YOU MEAN ME.
I... I... I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD
HAVE DONE WITHOUT YOUR HELP. I MEAN IT.
I... I WAS OUT OF IDEAS, AND THEN
OUT OF THE BLUE, YOU MAKE THIS CALL
AND CO-SIGN THE LOAN WITH ME.
I'M REALLY, REALLY GRATEFUL.
WELL, THAT ALMOST
SOUNDED SINCERE.
YEAH. I SHOULD HAVE LEFT
OFF ONE OF THE "REALLY" s.
THAT ALWAYS TIPS IT.
ALL RIGHT. I ACCEPT
YOUR APOLOGY.
THANK YOU.
BY THE WAY, I'M GOING TO BE HAVING MY
D.A.R. MEETINGS AT THE INN FROM NOW ON.
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.
SHE'S GOOD.
4:30.
FILL ME UP. THAT'S YOUR 6TH CUP.
YES, IT IS. HOW ABOUT SOME TEA?
ABSOLUTELY. THROW
IT IN WITH THE COFFEE.
I ASSUME RORY'S
MEETING YOU HERE?
YES, SHE IS.
SHE'S LATE. I HAVE TO GO TO CLASS
TONIGHT, SO I HAVE 10 MORE MINUTES.
I GOT IT. YOU DID?
RIGHT HERE.
OH, HURRY UP, OPEN IT.
LEAVE THE POT, ETHEL.
I'M JUST AN ENABLER.
OK, JUST REMEMBER,
THESE ARE THE P.S.A.Ts, OK?
SO IT'S LIKE THE BABY GAP.
THEY DON'T COUNT AS MUCH.
YOU CAN TAKE THEM AGAIN.
PLUS, YOU ARE YOUNG. YOU HAVE
YEARS OF LEARNING AHEAD OF YOU.
THE REALLY IMPORTANT
THING IS THAT YOU TRIED HARD.
I GOT A 740 VERBAL
AND A 760 MATH.
OH, THANK GOD
YOU'RE NOT AN IDIOT.
I GOT A 740 VERBAL
AND A 760 MATH?
THOSE ARE DAMN GOOD SCORES,
LITTLE LADY, REALLY. AMAZING. TOP-NOTCH.
THOSE ARE P.S.A-TERRIFIC.
SORRY, I HAD TO GO
FOR IT. YOU'RE FROWNING.
HOW DID I GET A
HIGHER SCORE IN MATH?
WHO CARES?
BUT I'M STRONGER IN
VERBAL. VERBAL IS MY THING.
NO, VERBAL'S MY THING.
MAYBE I DIDN'T
STUDY HARD ENOUGH.
MAYBE I GOT COCKY.
MAYBE YOU NEED A MAJOR MUD
BATH-SALT GLOW-CHILL PILL COMBO.
I'M JUST SAYING...
RORY, YOU GOT A GREAT SCORE.
YEAH, BUT...
NO. A GREAT SCORE.
GREAT SCORE?
THAT IS A SCORE YOU HAVE
EARNED AND YOU DESERVE
AND WILL ALLOW YOU TO LOOK
DOWN AT ME FOR MANY YEARS TO COME.
OK. OK.
SO WE SHOULD CELEBRATE.
LET'S GET ALL DRESSED UP TONIGHT
AND HIT THE ROCKY
HORROR PICTURE SHOW?
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
I'M ALWAYS SERIOUS.
CAN I INVITE LANE?
ABSOLUTELY.
I HOPE SHE GETS THIS IN TIME.
SHE'S BEEN HARD TO REACH LATELY.
MAYBE SHE CAN'T
HANDLE THE PRESSURE
OF HAVING SUCH A
BRILLIANT BEST FRIEND.
BRILLIANT IN MATH. THE
VERBAL'S KIND OF SAD.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE LATE.
OH, SHOOT. I AM. I HAVE TO GO.
HEY, RORY KICKED SOME
MAJOR P.S.A.T. ASS TODAY.
YEAH? CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU.
WE'RE GONNA HIT THE ROCKY
HORROR PICTURE SHOW TONIGHT.
REALLY?
YES, I AM MAGENTA.
RORY USUALLY OPTS FOR
JANET. I HAD A THOUGHT.
OH, YEAH?
YEAH. I WAS THINKING THAT YOU
COULD PUT ON FISHNET STOCKINGS,
A LEATHER TEDDY, PLATFORM BOOTS,
AND COME AS DR. FRANK-N-FURTER.
WELL, NOW, THAT IS A THOUGHT.
YOU'LL ALSO NEED
SOME GLOVES AND A WIG.
GLOVES, WIGS. GOT IT.
I'LL DO YOUR
MAKEUP. THAT'LL HELP.
THERE YOU GO. OK, SOUNDS GREAT.
SO 8:00, I'LL SWING
AROUND AND GET YOU?
SURE, GOOD. GOOD.
IF BY SOME CHANCE YOU KNOCK
ON THE DOOR BUT NO ONE ANSWERS
EVEN IF THE LIGHTS ARE
ON, I'LL MEET YOU THERE.
OK. OK.
SO I'LL SEE YOU
TOMORROW MORNING?
I'LL BE THE ONE WITH THE COFFEE.
HEY, MAKE SURE YOU GLOAT A
LITTLE. IT'S GOOD FOR THE SKIN.
♪
♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪
♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW, OH ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
♪
♪ WHEN I WAS
JUST A LITTLE GIRL ♪
♪ I ASKED MY MOTHER
"WHAT WILL I BE ♪
♪ WILL I BE PRETTY?
WILL I BE RICH?" ♪
♪ HERE'S WHAT SHE SAID TO ME ♪
♪ "QUE SERA, SERA ♪
♪ "WHATEVER WILL BE, WILL BE ♪
♪ "THE FUTURE'S
NOT OURS TO SEE ♪
♪ "QUE SERA, SERA ♪
♪ WHATEVER WILL BE, WILL BE" ♪
RORY!
SO DO YOU THINK THE PORCH IS
FALLING APART, OR DO YOU WEIGH A TON?
THE PORCH IS FINE. IT HAS A
LITTLE EXTRA VENTILATION IN IT NOW.
THE WOOD IS OLD AND ROTTING.
THE WOOD IS NOT OLD AND ROTTING.
IT IS STRONG AND SPRIGHTLY
AND WILL BE WITH US
FOR A LONG, LONG TIME TO COME.
SO YOU DO WEIGH A TON?
I CHECKED UNDER
THE ENTIRE HOUSE.
AND?
YOU HAVE TERMITES.
WHAT?
TENS OF THOUSANDS OF THEM.
SUBTERRANEAN, DRYWOOD,
THE WHOLE GAMUT.
GROSS.
4 CRAWLED UP MY NOSE. OK, KIRK.
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME
WHEN YOU'RE UPSIDE DOWN.
TO THEM, THE NOSTRIL LOOKS LIKE
ANOTHER HOLLOW PASSAGE IN THE WOOD.
THEY'RE NOT TOO BRIGHT.
OK, SO WE HAVE TERMITES.
SO WHAT DO WE, UM... DON'T
YOU WANT TO COME INSIDE, KIRK?
ACTUALLY, I WOULD PREFER
TO DISCUSS THIS OUTSIDE.
KIRK.
OK, LET'S GET DOWN TO IT.
FROM WHAT I WITNESSED,
YOUR HOUSE IS A
BUG-INFESTED SMORGASBORD.
ARE THOSE FOR ME?
OH, YEAH. THANKS.
WELL, WHAT DO WE DO?
WELL, UH, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'D
PREFER TO DISCUSS THIS ON THE LAWN.
WHY?
THIS PORCH COULD GIVE
OUT ON US AT ANY MINUTE.
KIRK, THAT'S CRAZY.
KIRK, STOP. THE PORCH IS FINE.
YOUR FOOT WENT THROUGH IT TODAY.
THAT WAS DIFFERENT.
THAT WOOD WAS OLD.
WHAT HAPPENED TO SPRIGHTLY?
KIRK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
JUST MAKING SURE THAT
IF THE ROOF COMES DOWN,
THE DEBRIS CAN'T RICOCHET
OVER HERE AND TAKE ME OUT.
HONEY, IN 5 MORE MINUTES,
YOU WON'T NEED TO.
KIRK, PLEASE TALK TO ME ABOUT THE
TERMITES. WHAT DO I DO, TENT THE PLACE?
TO START WITH, YES.
TO START WITH? WHAT
DOES THAT MEAN?
THEY'VE DONE SOME SERIOUS
DAMAGE UNDER THERE.
THEY'VE EATEN THROUGH
THE WOODEN JOISTS.
YOUR FOUNDATION HAS COMPLETELY
LOST ITS STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY.
MOM, OUR HOUSE IS FALLING DOWN.
OK, WHAT SHOULD
I DO TO FIX THIS?
YOU HAVE TO JACK THE
HOUSE UP, REBUILD THE JOISTS,
AND REPAIR THE WEAKENED
PARTS OF THE FOUNDATION.
ALL FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF...
WELL, I HAVEN'T DONE
THE EXACT ESTIMATE.
BUT I'D SAY SOMEWHERE IN
THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF $15,000.
TELL IT TO MOVE TO
ANOTHER NEIGHBORHOOD.
SORRY?
$15,000? WE'RE
NEVER EATING AGAIN.
I DON'T HAVE $15,000.
I'VE NEVER HAD $15,000.
I'M TRYING TO
PICTURE $15,000, I CAN'T.
THAT'S HOW UNFAMILIAR $15,000
AND I ARE WITH EACH OTHER.
MAYBE YOU CAN JUST FIX PART
OF THE HOUSE, THE PART YOU LIKE.
WE LIKE THE ENTIRE HOUSE, KIRK.
REALLY? EVEN THAT KITCHEN?
THANKS FOR COMING OVER, KIRK.
SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
DO? I DON'T KNOW YET.
YOU DON'T WANT TO WAIT
TOO LONG TO ADDRESS THIS.
YEAH, I GET THAT, KIRK.
YOU MIGHT GET THE
DISHES OUT OF THERE.
GOOD TIP.
THANKS FOR THE WAFFLES.
THANKS FOR THE HORRIFYING NEWS.
ANY TIME.
LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
THE DAY'S ALL UPHILL FROM HERE.
THIS IS REALLY BAD.
HONEY, DON'T WORRY.
WE'LL FIGURE SOMETHIN' OUT.
OK. WE SHOULD GET INSIDE.
YEAH.
AFTER YOU.
11, 12, HERE.
THANKS.
1, 2, 3...
I'M DEPRESSED.
JEREMY DIDN'T CALL?
NOT IN A TIMELY MANNER, NO.
WELL, GOOD RIDDANCE
TO BAD LUGGAGE.
I GUESS.
I THOUGHT WE REALLY CONNECTED
THE OTHER DAY IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET.
BOYS. A NANCY DREW MYSTERY.
LOUISE. MADELINE.
YOU LOOK HAPPY.
REALLY? HUH.
WHAT?
NOTHING.
IT'S JUST A NICE
DAY. A NICE, NICE DAY.
OK.
SO, DID YOU GET YOUR
P.S.A.T. SCORES BACK YET?
YEAH. YESTERDAY.
AND?
500 VERBAL, 560 MATH.
RESPECTABLE.
I THOUGHT SO.
LOUISE, WHAT DID YOU GET?
HIGHLIGHTS, AROUND MY FACE.
YOU'LL TAKE THEM
AGAIN AND DO BETTER.
I'LL DO THAT AND
GET MY NOSE DONE.
YOU DON'T STUDY. YOU
DON'T APPLY YOURSELF.
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. I
NEED ANOTHER CHIP.
TAKE THEM.
SO I GOT MY SCORES
BACK TODAY, TOO.
OH, YEAH?
THIS MORNING. I JUST
CAME DOWNSTAIRS,
AND THERE THEY WERE,
JUST SITTING ON THE TABLE.
BOY, WAS I NERVOUS,
JUST IMAGINING WHAT I GOT.
BUT THEN I REALIZED THAT I'D
HAVE TO OPEN THEM EVENTUALLY,
AND SO I DID.
WAS I SURPRISED BY WHAT I FOUND.
COULD'VE KNOCKED ME
OVER WITH A FEATHER.
YEP. I WAS JUST THAT SURPRISED.
SO, WHAT DID YOU GET?
WELL, RORY, SINCE YOU ASKED,
AND BY THE WAY, I'M NOT
BRAGGING OR ANYTHING,
BUT I GOT A 750 MATH
AND A 730 VERBAL.
WOW, THAT IS GOOD.
CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU.
THOSE ARE GREAT SCORES.
SO, DID YOU GET YOUR
SCORES BACK YET?
YEP.
AND?
I'M HAPPY.
HOW HAPPY?
PRETTY HAPPY.
HOW DO I KNOW YOU'RE
NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE
WHO GETS PRETTY HAPPY
LOOKING AT A SUNSET?
HOW DO I KNOW WHAT YOUR
BAROMETER FOR PRETTY HAPPY IS?
YOU DON'T.
RIGHT.
SO, ARE YOU?
AM I WHAT?
ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE WHO
GETS HAPPY LOOKING AT A SUNSET?
I DON'T GET UNHAPPY
LOOKING AT A SUNSET.
WHAT DID YOU GET?
THAT'S PERSONAL.
WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME?
'CAUSE IT'S NONE
OF YOUR BUSINESS.
OK, FINE.
DON'T TELL ME WHAT YOU GOT.
I WON'T.
WHY WON'T YOU
TELL ME YOUR SCORE?
BYE, PARIS.
YOU'RE NOT TORTURING
ME, YOU KNOW.
I DON'T CARE! MY
SCORES WERE GREAT.
I'M VERY, VERY HAPPY
WITH MY SCORES.
AND I HATE LOOKING AT A SUNSET,
SO MY STANDARD
FOR HAPPINESS IS HIGH!
RORY, WAKE UP.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
I CAN HEAR THEM CHEWING.
WHO?
THE TERMITES.
THEY'RE EVERYWHERE,
NIBBLING AND EATING
AND SWALLOWING.
YOU'RE INSANE.
I CAN'T SLEEP HERE.
WHAT?
WE HAVE TO GO TO SOOKIE'S.
YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
UH-UH.
IT'S 11:00 AT NIGHT.
WELL, HERE. BUT SOMEWHERE IN
THE WORLD, IT'S STILL MILLER TIME.
MOM, YOU'RE WIGGING. GO PUT
ON SOME IMAGINARY EARPLUGS
TO DROWN OUT THE IMAGINARY
TERMITE SOUNDS AND GO BACK TO SLEEP.
BUT... BUT...
BED. NOW.
HUH.
YOU REALLY DON'T HEAR THEM?
NO. AND AS SOON AS YOU'RE
ASLEEP, YOU WON'T, EITHER.
OK, FINE. GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT.
UGH, I FEEL LIKE THEY'RE
CRAWLING ALL OVER ME.
OH, I KNOW. WITH THEIR
CREEPY LITTLE FANGY TEETH,
THEIR TAIL THINGS AND
THEIR POINTY TENTACLES.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
A TERMITE LOOKS LIKE.
UNLESS THEY'RE WEARING A FOUNDATION
REPAIR GUY T-SHIRT, I DON'T CARE.
YOU SURE SOOKIE WAS UP?
SHE ANSWERED THE PHONE.
AFTER HOW MANY RINGS?
I DON'T KNOW, 20 OR 30.
MOM, SHE WAS SLEEPING.
NO. NO. SHE'S JUST
DEAF IN ONE EAR.
SINCE WHEN?
NOW, APPARENTLY. WHAT?
WELL, YOU WOULD HAVE
TO BE DEAF IN ONE EAR
NOT TO HEAR THE PHONE
RING 20 OR 30 TIMES.
THERE THEY ARE, MY
LITTLE TERMITE WHISPERERS.
HEY, SOOKIE, SORRY
TO CALL SO LATE.
AND SO INCESSANTLY.
THEY WERE GETTING ORGANIZED. I
HEARD ONE OF THEM YELL, "CHARGE!"
WE WILL MAKE THIS UP TO YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? THIS IS
GREAT. IT'S LIKE A SLUMBER PARTY.
YOU SURE?
ABSOLUTELY. WE
CAN RAID THE FRIDGE,
WE CAN MAKE A NICE
AVOCADO-MANGO FACEMASK.
GET OUT THE TAROT CARDS,
TELL FORTUNES, PLAY TWISTER,
MAKE A... A HAAGEN-DAZS CHOCOLATE
CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM MILKSHAKE.
WE'LL WATCH PURPLE RAIN.
SOOKIE, IT'S MIDNIGHT.
OK, LET'S GO STRAIGHT
FOR THE MILKSHAKES.
GOOD THINKING.
I'LL PUT MY STUFF
IN THE GUEST ROOM.
SOOKIE, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU
LETTING US CRASH HERE TONIGHT.
SO CREEPY, JUST LYING THERE
LISTENING TO A THOUSAND TINY
LITTLE INSECTS JUST MOCKING ME.
"HA, HA! WE'RE EATING YOUR
HOUSE. TRY AND STOP US."
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TENT?
NEXT WEEK.
THAT SUCKS.
$2,000.
THAT SUCKS.
AND AFTER THE $2,000
CIRCUS-TENT FIASCO,
I HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER $15,000
TO KEEP MY HOUSE
FROM FALLING DOWN.
I LIKE THAT HOUSE.
I KNOW YOU DO.
I DON'T WANT IT TO FALL DOWN.
I KNOW YOU DON'T.
WELL, ANYWAY, I
CALLED THE BANK TODAY.
HOW DID THAT GO?
WELL, UH, WAIT, UH,
WHA-WHAT'S THAT?
YEAH, THEY'RE STILL LAUGHING.
WHAT?
THEY PASSED THE PHONE AROUND,
MADE ME ASK EVERYONE IN THE PLACE.
THAT IS TERRIBLE. OH,
COMPLETELY HEARTLESS.
ACCORDING TO THE JOLLY
BANKERS, I'M WORTH NOTHING.
THERE SO HAS TO BE
SOMETHING YOU CAN DO.
I WAS THINKING ABOUT OPENING
A COYOTE UGLY LEMONADE STAND.
INTERESTING.
WHAT'S INTERESTING?
HUH, NOTHIN'. NOTHIN'.
YOUR MOM IS APPARENTLY ONE OF
THE BIGGEST LOSERS IN STARS HOLLOW.
OK. CONTINUE.
I THINK YOU SHOULD CALL
THEM AGAIN TOMORROW.
NO, SOOKIE.
NO, I MEAN IT.
YOU'RE AN UPSTANDING CITIZEN,
AN ACTIVE PART OF THE COMMUNITY.
YEAH, YOU MADE ALL
OF THE DONKEY OUTFITS
FOR THE CHRISTMAS
FESTIVAL LAST YEAR.
YOU ORGANIZED THE "SAVE THE
HISTORIC OAK TREE" CAMPAIGN.
YOU PLAYED TEVYE IN THE STARS
HOLLOW COMMUNITY THEATER PRODUCTION
OF FIDDLER ON THE ROOF.
YES. WELL,
5 AND A HALF STARS FROM THE STARS
HOLLOW GAZETTE. UNHEARD OF TILL THEN.
THEY SHOULD TAKE
THAT INTO ACCOUNT.
YES, THEY SHOULD.
YES, THEY SHOULD,
BUT THEY WON'T.
HEY, UH, I BET THERE'S
A ROOM AT THE INN
YOU COULD STAY IN,
PART-TIME AT LEAST.
SOOKIE, WHAT WAS THAT? WHAT?
THAT NOISE.
WHAT NOISE?
SOOKIE, A HUGE THUD JUST
CAME FROM YOUR CLOSET.
AH, YEAH, THAT'S MY SHOES.
YOUR SHOES?
YEAH. THAT'S MY SHOE CLOSET.
AND, UM, SOMETIMES I DON'T,
UH, STACK THEM PROPERLY,
AND THEN, UH, THEY FALL
AND THEN THERE'S THE...
THE THUDDING SOUND.
AND THEN, UH... NO.
UH, AND THAT... THAT'S PROBABLY
THE SOUND THAT YOU JUST HEARD.
OH, THE ICE CREAM'S
GETTING MELTED.
JACKSON?
YES.
HOW YOU DOING?
I'M DOING FINE. YOU?
SOOKIE, JACKSON'S
HIDING IN THE CLOSET.
YES, HE IS.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?
WELL, BECAUSE YOU WERE UPSET,
YOU WERE BRINGING
RORY, I DIDN'T WANT HER
TO FEEL WEIRD OR UNCOMFORTABLE.
SO YOU STUCK
JACKSON IN THE CLOSET?
YEAH, SHE DID.
JACKSON, COME OUT.
I'M IN MY PAJAMAS.
SO ARE WE.
YEAH, BUT MINE ARE HUMILIATING.
WE WON'T LAUGH.
YES, YOU WILL.
I PROMISE WE WON'T.
I'M FINE.
WILL YOU BE FINE
THERE ALL NIGHT?
'CAUSE WE'RE STAYING ALL NIGHT.
KNOWING SOOKIE, SHE'LL
MAKE A BIG BREAKFAST.
THAT'S RIGHT. SO TONIGHT WILL
LAST UNTIL LATE TOMORROW MORNING.
SO THE BOTTOM LINE FOR YOU
HERE, BUDDY, IS YOU'LL BE HOLED UP
IN THAT CLOSET A
VERY, VERY LONG TIME.
IF I COME OUT, YOU HAVE
TO UNDERSTAND ONE THING.
OK.
I HAVE A COUSIN WHO
OWNS A XEROX COMPANY
THAT SPECIALIZES IN TAKING
PICTURES AND MAKING THEM INTO THINGS:
CALENDARS, COFFEE MUGS,
COLLECTOR PLATES, AND PAJAMAS.
OH, JACKSON'S WEARING
PICTURE PAJAMAS?
YES, HE IS.
DOES HE DO THIS OFTEN?
ALMOST EVERY NIGHT.
WHAT ARE THE PICTURES OF?
HIM. OH.
HIM. DURING HIGH SCHOOL,
IN HIS WRESTLING UNIFORM.
JACKSON, YOU HAVE TO
COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW.
NO.
WHY?
BECAUSE YOU SOUND TOO EAGER.
I'M NOT. AM I EAGER?
PUT YOUR PAWS DOWN.
JACKSON, I'M NOT EAGER. I
JUST WANT YOU TO COME OUT
AND BE COMFORTABLE, THAT'S ALL.
WELL, OK.
HUH.
OK, WELL, HONEY, WE'RE
MAKING MILKSHAKES.
YOU WANT TO COME IN AND HELP?
OK.
IF OUR HOUSE DOES FALL DOWN AND WE
END UP LIVING IN A HOLLOWED-OUT TREE,
THIS MOMENT MIGHT
MAKE IT ALL WORTH IT.
HELLO, LANE?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
MRS. KIM, HI. I WAS JUST...
OUT!
WHAT?
OUT. OUT. OUT.
BUT I WIPED OFF MY FEET.
MOVE. MOVE.
I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR
LANE, AND I THOUGHT SHE WAS...
TAYLOR SAYS YOU HAVE TERMITES.
I DON'T HAVE TERMITES,
MY HOUSE DOES.
YOU ARE A CARRIER.
I DON'T THINK YOU CAN
BE A TERMITE CARRIER.
YOU SPREAD IT ALL OVER TOWN.
MRS. KIM, WE DON'T
CONTROL THE TERMITES.
THEY MOVE ON THEIR OWN.
SEE ALL THE FURNITURE
IN THERE? WOOD.
ALL WOOD. YOU MUST GO. GO NOW!
CAN YOU JUST TELL
ME IF LANE IS HOME?
NO. DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS?
SCHOOL.
STILL?
YES. SHE'S THERE,
SHE'S STUDYING.
WHAT'S THAT MOVING BY YOUR FOOT?
WHAT?
I SEE SOMETHING MOVING.
NO. THERE'S
NOTHING. I SWEAR. OW!
WILL YOU TELL HER I CAME BY?
THEN SHE CHASED ME HALFWAY
DOWN THE STREET WITH A HOSE.
IT WAS LIKE A SCENE
FROM SILKWOOD.
WELL, NEWS TRAVELS WAY
TOO FAST AROUND HERE.
4 PEOPLE ASKED ME
WHEN WE WERE TENTING,
2 ASKED IF WE WERE MOVING, AND 1
PERSON ASKED ME IF WE WERE ATHEISTS.
SEE, WE HAVE TO STOP
TALKING TO PEOPLE.
WE HAVE TO STAY AT HOME
WITH THE CURTAINS DRAWN,
COLLECTING OLD NEWSPAPERS,
MUTTERING TO EACH OTHER,
AND EATING CUP-A-SOUP
AND SLIM JIMS.
HELLO? HI, RORY, IT'S MADELINE.
OH, HI.
LISTEN, I HAVE TO ASK
YOU A LITTLE FAVOR.
OK.
WELL, SEE, I'M WORKING ON
AN ARTICLE FOR THE FRANKLIN.
TOTALLY LAST MINUTE.
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
INTERESTING TO COMPARE
CHILTON'S OVERALL P.S.A.T. SCORES
TO OTHER PREP SCHOOLS IN THE AREA.
UH-HUH.
I'M TRYING TO COMPILE A
LIST OF PEOPLE'S SCORES,
ESPECIALLY THE TOP STUDENTS, AND
I REALIZED I DON'T HAVE YOURS YET.
OH, SO YOU WANT TO
KNOW MY P.S.A.T. SCORES?
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
PUT PARIS ON THE PHONE.
EXCUSE ME?
PARIS, LET ME TALK TO HER.
OH, PARIS ISN'T HERE.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE IS.
SHE'S PROBABLY AT HER HOUSE
OR MAYBE AT THE LIBRARY,
OR MAYBE SHE'S BUYING PENCILS
BECAUSE SHE GOES
THROUGH THEM SO FAST,
'CAUSE SHE PUSHES DOWN
ON THEM REALLY HARD.
THEN THEY BREAK...
MADELINE.
HOLD ON.
WHAT?
PATHETIC. WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME?
BYE, PARIS. TELL ME THOSE
SCORES. I HAVE TO KNOW. RORY?
PARIS AGAIN?
YEP.
YOU KNOW, I THINK IF WE PUT PARIS
AND MY MOTHER IN A ROOM TOGETHER,
THE WORLD WOULD IMPLODE.
I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND
FOR THE NEXT SCIENCE FAIR.
ENOUGH.
I'VE GOT COMPUTER SCREENS
FEELING SORRY FOR ME.
JEEZ, HOW MANY PLACES IS THAT?
OH, HONEY, IT'S NOT
THE AMOUNT OF PLACES
THAT TURNS YOU
DOWN THAT MATTERS,
IT'S THE QUALITY OF THE
PLACE THAT TURNS YOU DOWN.
WHEN YOU'VE GOT JACKO'S LOANS
NOT WANTING YOUR BUSINESS,
IT'S TIME TO HANG
OUT WITH THE COREYS.
SORRY.
IT'S OK. I WON'T THINK
ABOUT IT TONIGHT.
I'LL THINK ABOUT IT
TOMORROW. AT TARA.
YOU READY?
ONE SEC.
YOU KNOW, MOM, I
HATE TO BRING THIS UP,
BUT I THINK THERE'S AN OBVIOUS
SOLUTION TO OUR PROBLEM.
I KNOW, HON. YOU DO?
YES. UH, AND FRANKLY, I THINK IF
I SOLD YOU INTO WHITE SLAVERY,
I WOULD MISS YOU.
MOM.
PLEASE DON'T GO
WHERE YOU'RE GOING.
I THINK THEY WOULD SAY YES.
OF COURSE THEY'D SAY YES.
AND THAT YES WOULD
BE FOLLOWED BY:
"OK, OK, ENOUGH ALREADY.
MY GOD, PLEASE, STOP. I'VE
GOT NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE."
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
THAT IS COMPLETELY TRUE.
GRANDMA AND GRANDPA WILL HELP.
RORY, I WENT TO MY PARENTS
FOR YOU FOR CHILTON.
WHY? BECAUSE THAT WAS WORTH
ALL THE OBLIGATION. THIS IS NOT.
THIS IS OUR HOME.
I'LL FIND A WAY TO FIX IT.
BUT HOW?
I DON'T KNOW YET.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW, THEN
MAYBE THERE'S NOT ANOTHER WAY.
THERE'S ALWAYS ANOTHER WAY.
WAS THERE ANOTHER
WAY WITH CHILTON?
THAT WAS DIFFERENT.
WHY WAS THAT DIFFERENT?
BECAUSE I SAID
THAT WAS DIFFERENT.
I'M THE ONE DOING THE GROVELING
AND THAT GETS YOU
JUDGMENT RIGHTS,
AND I'M JUDGING THAT
THIS IS DIFFERENT.
THE REMAINING
JUDGE BEGS TO DIFFER.
I KNOW YOU MEAN WELL.
I'M NOT GONNA DEAL WITH
MY PARENTS ON THIS ONE. NO.
YOU'RE BEING STUBBORN.
OH, HAVE I SHOCKED YOU?
FINE, LET'S GO.
WHERE'S GRANDPA TONIGHT?
HE'S AT WORK.
EXPLAIN TO HIM
THAT QUITTING MEANS
YOU DON'T GO BACK
TO THE JOB, YOU QUIT.
HE DID NOT QUIT. HE RESIGNED.
HMM, SAME RULES APPLY.
NO, WHEN YOU RESIGN, YOU
HAVE TO PUT IN CERTAIN TIME
TO GET THINGS IN ORDER.
HE HAS CLIENTS TO SEE,
CERTAIN ACCOUNTS TO CLOSE OUT.
IS THAT HARD FOR HIM?
ACTUALLY, I THINK HE'S
RATHER ENJOYING IT.
GOOD.
YES, IT IS GOOD.
WHAT ARE YOU TAKING?
ROOFIES. ASPIRIN.
ARE YOU GETTING SICK?
NO, I HAVE A HEADACHE.
HAVING A HEADACHE
MEANS YOU'RE SICK.
YOU THINK IT'S NORMAL
TO HAVE A HEADACHE?
I JUST HAVE A TENSION HEADACHE.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE
TO BE TENSE ABOUT?
OH, I CAN'T BEGIN TO THINK.
YOU SHOULD LIE DOWN.
I'M FINE.
YOU WORK TOO HARD.
NO, I DON'T.
IF YOU DIDN'T, YOU WOULDN'T
HAVE A TENSION HEADACHE.
IT'S NOT A WORK
TENSION HEADACHE, MOM.
SO THEN YOU ARE SICK.
ACTUALLY, I AM. I'M SICK.
I KNEW IT. WHAT'S WRONG?
CONSUMPTION WITH A
TOUCH OF THE VAPORS.
I'M GOING FOR A LEECHING
TONIGHT AFTER COFFEE.
SHE'S GOT A CASE
OF EXTERMINATORITIS.
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
NOTHING.
WE HAVE TERMITES.
OH, THAT'S TERRIBLE.
IT'S NOT SO BAD.
THEY'RE EATING OUR WHOLE HOUSE.
THEY SAY THANK YOU.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, THEY'RE
EATING YOUR WHOLE HOUSE?
WE FOUND OUT THAT WE HAVE
ALL THESE FOUNDATION PROBLEMS
AND IT'S GONNA BE
VERY EXPENSIVE TO FIX.
MOM CAN'T GET A
LOAN. THAT IS NOT TRUE.
YOU WERE TURNED DOWN BY 5 BANKS.
HEY, I MADE UP JACKO'S
LOANS AND STUFF.
FINE, 4 BANKS.
MOM. UH, WAIT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M WRITING YOU A CHECK.
NO, YOU'RE NOT. HOLD ON HERE.
HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED? NOTHING.
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
JUST TELL ME HOW MUCH.
I CAN HANDLE THIS.
IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE
YOU CAN HANDLE IT. I CAN.
FINE. IF YOU WON'T
TELL ME HOW MUCH,
I'LL LEAVE THE AMOUNT
BLANK, YOU CAN FILL IT IN LATER.
MOM, STOP.
YOU TOOK MY PEN.
MOM, I APPRECIATE THE THOUGHT,
BUT I DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY.
SO YOU'D RATHER HAVE
YOUR HOUSE FALL DOWN
THAN LET YOUR MOTHER HELP YOU?
MOM, THE HOUSE WON'T FALL DOWN.
LET'S NOT MAKE IT A BIG ISSUE.
LET'S SIT DOWN, HAVE A
DRINK, AND HAVE DINNER, OK?
ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU.
ARE YOU GOING TO
GIVE ME BACK MY PEN?
YEAH. AFTER DINNER.
MOM, STOP IT. TALK TO ME.
IT'S BEEN 2 HOURS SINCE YOU'VE
EVEN LOOKED IN MY DIRECTION.
OK, I GET IT, YOU'RE MAD.
I DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW.
YOU WERE BEING STUBBORN.
GO TO BED.
YOU DIDN'T WANT TO
ASK FOR HELP, SO I DID.
YOU REMEMBER THE CONVERSATION
WE HAD BEFORE WE LEFT HOME TONIGHT?
YES, BUT...
I TOLD YOU GOING TO MY
PARENTS WAS NOT AN OPTION.
I KNOW.
I TOLD YOU SEVERAL TIMES THAT
ASKING MY PARENTS WAS NOT AN OPTION.
I MADE A FEW QUIPS TO
LIGHTEN THE SUBJECT MATTER,
BUT I STILL MADE MY
POINT PRETTY DAMN CLEAR.
FINE. BUT WE HAVE A
REAL PROBLEM HERE.
OH, YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?
YOU THINK I SIT AROUND ALL
DAY SWAPPING WITTICISMS
WITH ROBERT BENCHLEY
AT THE ALGONQUIN?
NO. I AM THINKING AND WORRYING
AND USING THE COMPUTER,
AND I HATE USING IT.
WHICH IS EXACTLY
WHY I BROUGHT THIS UP.
YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO BRING IT UP!
WHY?
BECAUSE I TOLD YOU
NOT TO, THAT'S WHY.
BUT...
NO. THERE ARE NO BUTS.
THERE WILL BE NO "BUTS" HERE.
THERE'S "I'M SORRY, MOM,"
THERE'S "I SCREWED UP, MOM."
THERE'S "I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN,
MOM," BUT THERE ARE NO "BUTS."
BUT... OUT!
MOM... GO TO BED. WE'RE DONE.
THINK FAST.
VERY GOOD.
YOU THREW A
BASKETBALL AT MY HEAD.
NO, I THREW A BASKETBALL
PAST YOUR HEAD.
WHAT IF I HAD TURNED
AROUND WHEN YOU SAID THAT?
THEN YOU MIGHT HAVE CAUGHT IT,
THEREBY COMPLETING
THE "THINK FAST" EQUATION.
I DON'T CATCH BASKETBALLS.
DULY NOTED.
I DON'T EVEN LIKE BASKETBALLS.
HEY, I'M VERY SORRY.
IN FACT, OUT OF ALL THE
SPORTING BALLS IN THE WORLD,
THE BASKETBALL IS
MY LEAST FAVORITE.
RORY. THEY'RE ROUND AND HARD.
RORY.
AND THEY'RE ORANGE.
YOU DO REALIZE HOW
INSANE YOU SOUND?
YES.
OK, JUST CHECKING.
I'M SORRY. I'M IN
A HORRIBLE MOOD.
HADN'T NOTICED.
WE'VE HAD FIGHTS BEFORE.
YOU AND ME?
ME AND MOM. AH.
BUT THIS ONE IS
PARTICULARLY CRAZY.
WE HAVE A SITUATION HERE,
AND SHE'S BEING SO STUBBORN.
HUH.
WHAT?
WHAT "WHAT"?
WHAT WAS WITH THE "HUH"?
NOTHING.
NO. THERE WAS A
MEANING BEHIND THAT "HUH."
THAT WAS A LOADED "HUH,"
THAT WASN'T A NORMAL "HUH."
YOU MEANT TO SAY SOMETHING,
AND NOW YOU'RE TAKING IT BACK.
OK, NOW...
DON'T USE THAT "HUH" IF YOU'RE
NOT PREPARED TO DEFEND IT.
WHY AREN'T YOU SAYING ANYTHING?
BECAUSE WORDS ARE A VERY
DANGEROUS THING RIGHT NOW.
YOU WERE SAYING THAT I'M
STUBBORN JUST LIKE MY MOTHER.
I WAS SAYING THAT IN ADDITION
TO ALL OF THE WONDERFUL,
AMAZING QUALITIES
THAT THE TWO OF YOU SHARE,
THERE'S POSSIBLY, ON OCCASION,
A SIMILAR TENDENCY
TO DIG YOUR HEELS IN.
I HATE IT WHEN WE FIGHT.
I KNOW.
SHE WAS SO MAD.
YOU'LL MAKE UP.
WANT TO GET A COFFEE?
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL GO GET MY BALL.
IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL
BETTER, A CAR RAN OVER IT.
I NEED TO GET COFFEE. NOW.
HI, MR. REGALSKI, IT'S
LORELAI GILMORE. AGAIN. YES.
JUST LIKE THE PINK
BUNNY WITH THE DRUM.
UH, ANYWAY, I WAS
WONDERING IF, UM, YOU HAVE HAD
A CHANCE TO RECONSIDER MY LOAN.
UH...
NO, I THINK IT'S ENERGIZER.
I KNOW YOU SAID NO,
BUT, UM, YOU KNOW,
SOMETIMES PEOPLE SAY NO,
AND THEN THEY WAKE UP ONE
MORNING A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER
AND THINK, "HEY, I SHOULDN'T
HAVE TURNED DOWN THAT NICE MOM
"WITH THE GOOD JOB
AND GREAT CREDENTIALS
AND THE REFERENCES
UP THE WAZOO."
I... I DO LIKE THE
WORD "WAZOO." HMM.
I UNDERSTAND. OK.
WELL, I'LL GIVE YOU A CALL
IN A COUPLE OF DAYS THEN.
THANK YOU.
PERHAPS YOU ARE TAKING
THE WRONG APPROACH.
MEANING?
YOU TRIED TO CONVINCE
THEM OF YOUR VIRTUE.
PERHAPS IT'S TIME TO
OFFER THEM A LAP DANCE.
YOU DIDN'T!
I WAS KIDDING. SORT OF.
OH, DEAR.
I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING,
AND I'M NOT SURE
EXACTLY WHERE TO DRAW THE LINE.
YOU KNOW, IN THAILAND, WOMEN
DO THIS TRICK WITH A PING-PONG BALL,
THAT IS A BIG CROWD PLEASER.
LINE DRAWN. THANK YOU.
INDEPENDENCE INN.
MICHEL SPEAKING.
AH, YES. SHE IS RIGHT HERE.
YOUR MOTHER.
HI, MOM.
LORELAI, I CALLED TO TELL YOU
I TALKED TO MILES HAHN TODAY.
WELL, THAT SOUNDS
VERY NICE. I'M GLAD.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHO MILES HAHN IS?
NOT A BIT.
HE'S THE PRESIDENT OF
THE FIRST NATIONAL BANK.
WE'VE BEEN DOING
BUSINESS WITH HIM FOR YEARS.
HE'S BECOME A VERY DEAR
FRIEND OF OURS ACTUALLY.
WHAT DOES THAT
HAVE TO DO WITH ME?
WELL, I BROUGHT UP YOUR
LITTLE DILEMMA TO HIM.
OH, BOY!
AND HE TOLD ME THAT IF YOU WERE
IN THE MOOD TO COME TALK TO HIM,
YOU COULD FEEL FREE TO
DO SO, ON THURSDAY AT 3:15.
SO YOU WRANGLED ME A
MEETING AT YOUR BANK.
I ASKED A FRIEND FOR ADVICE.
WHAT ELSE DID YOU
ASK HIM FOR, MOM?
LORELAI, I SIMPLY ASKED
A MAN TO TALK TO YOU.
WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT, OR WHAT COMES
OF THAT TALK IS STRICTLY UP TO YOU.
WELL, THANKS, MOM, BUT I'M FINE.
SO YOU GOT A LOAN?
I GOT A LEAD.
A LEAD ON A LOAN?
YES. HOW NICE.
IF YOU COULD JUST
GET AN ACTUAL LOAN.
OK, MOM, I GOT TO
GET BACK TO WORK.
THURSDAY AT 3:15.
MOM, TELL YOUR FRIEND THANK YOU,
BUT I'M AFRAID I WON'T BE ABLE TO MAKE IT.
HE'LL BE THERE WHETHER YOU
SHOW UP OR NOT. IT'S UP TO YOU.
ALL I DID WAS MAKE AN
APPOINTMENT, LORELAI. THAT'S ALL.
GREAT. BYE, MOM.
HI. MR. REGALSKI, PLEASE.
IT'S LORELAI GILMORE.
OH, I... I JUST SPOKE
TO HIM 5 MINUTES AGO.
WHEN DO YOU EXPECT
HIM BACK FROM FRANCE?
OK, SO, UH, I'LL CALL YOU LATER.
THANKS FOR THE COFFEE.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
BYE.
BYE.
THAT'S FOR ME NOT THINKING FAST.
PLEASE NEVER THINK FAST AGAIN.
I'LL TRY MY HARDEST.
WE NEED TO TALK.
OK, LET'S TALK.
NICE OUTFIT.
THANK YOU.
SO, I GUESS THIS IS WHY YOU'VE
BEEN AWOL THE PAST FEW WEEKS.
PRETTY MUCH.
SO, YOU JUST HAD THE URGE TO STAND
ON TOP OF ANOTHER GIRL'S SHOULDERS?
DON'T BE LIKE THAT. LIKE WHAT?
LIKE YOU'RE BEIN'. IT MAKES
IT IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL YOU.
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME.
I KNOW. WHY?
BECAUSE.
OK, HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF BEING A
PROSECUTOR? YOU HAVE REAL POTENTIAL.
I DIDN'T TELL YOU, BECAUSE
I KNEW YOU'D ACT LIKE THIS.
NO. I'M ACTING LIKE THIS
BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T TELL ME.
OH, SO IF I'D COME
UP TO YOU AND I SAID,
"RORY, I WANT TO
BECOME A CHEERLEADER,"
YOU WOULD HAVE SAID... WHY?
EXACTLY.
EXACTLY WHAT?
LANE, THIS IS WEIRD.
WE ALWAYS USED TO MAKE
FUN OF CHEERLEADERS.
YOU AND I, WE WOULD RAG ON JANIE
FERTMAN AND HIDE DURING PEP RALLIES.
AND NOW ALL OF A
SUDDEN, YOU'RE PEPPY.
I'M NOT PEPPY.
WELL, YOU LOOK PEPPY.
LOOK, YOU'RE NOT
AROUND MUCH ANYMORE.
SO THIS IS MY FAULT?
AND YOU HAVE DEAN.
THIS IS HIS FAULT? IT'S JUST...
I DON'T KNOW WHY. I JUST WANTED
TO DO IT. I JUST WANTED TO TRY IT.
AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE I SHOULD
JUSTIFY OR EXPLAIN IT TO YOU...
THEN DON'T.
FINE. I WON'T. OK.
ALL RIGHT.
I FORGOT MY POM.
YOUR WHAT?
2 ARE POMPOMS. 1'S A POM.
WELL, HOW'S IT LOOK?
IT'S DARK. HAND
ME THE FLASHLIGHT.
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE THOSE
HATS WITH LIGHTS ON 'EM?
I FLIP BURGERS FOR A LIVIN'.
RIGHT. RIGHT.
OK.
I THINK I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.
HOW WAS IT? WAS THERE A TERMITE
HOUSING DEVELOPMENT UNDER?
GOLF COURSES AND
CONDOS WITH REC ROOMS?
IT'S ACTUALLY NOT TOO BAD.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW? YOU
FLIP BURGERS FOR A LIVING.
I MEAN, THERE'S
DEFINITELY A LITTLE DAMAGE.
YEAH, BUT... BUT KIRK SAYS THAT
THE JOISTS WERE TOTALLY GONE.
YEAH, THEY ARE.
AND THE FOUNDATION HAD LOST
ALL ITS STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY.
THAT'S TRUE, TOO.
GREAT. SO I'M STILL SCREWED.
NOT NECESSARILY.
LUKE, I NEED $15,000,
WHICH I... I... I CAN'T FIND,
DON'T HAVE, AND IF I DON'T FIND,
THE HOUSE IS GONNA FALL DOWN.
I CAN HELP YOU
WITH THAT. YOU CAN?
I CAN GET A COUPLE GUYS
WHO CAN DO THE WORK.
YOU CAN FIX THIS?
WELL, I CAN HELP. I KNOW
A GOOD CONTRACTOR
WHO DID SOME WORK ON THE DINER.
WHAT ABOUT THE MONEY?
YOU WON'T HAVE TO
DEAL WITH THAT NOW.
I WON'T?
YOU CAN PAY IN
INSTALLMENTS IF YOU WANT.
MONTHLY, BIMONTHLY. WHATEVER.
WHATEVER YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH.
SO, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
UH, YOU AND SOME GUYS WHO
ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING
ARE GONNA COME
OVER, FIX MY HOUSE
AND I PAY THEM BACK
WHENEVER I WANT?
THAT'S RIGHT.
'CAUSE I'M TONY SOPRANO?
ONLY SCARIER.
NOW, LUKE, WHEN I FINALLY DO
MAKE OUT THIS INSTALLMENT CHECK,
UH, WHO SHOULD I MAKE IT OUT TO?
WELL, YOU CAN, UH, MAKE
IT OUT TO ME IF YOU LIKE.
OH, SO BASICALLY YOU WOULD
BE FRONTING ME THE MONEY?
WELL, YEAH. BUT
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
LUKE, THAT'S A LOAN.
NO, IT'S JUST A TEMPORARY
EXCHANGE OF MONEY FOR SERVICES
THAT WILL BE PAID BACK WHEN
YOU FINALLY HAVE THE... IT'S A LOAN.
MAN, YOU SUCK AS A LIAR.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
I CAN'T TAKE IT.
I KNOW, BUT IT WAS WORTH A SHOT.
HEY, UH, DEAN CALLED TWICE.
RAH, RAH, RAH.
YOU TWO...
DON'T ASK. OK.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
OH, EXCUSE ME. COULD YOU TELL
ME WHERE MR. HAHN'S OFFICE IS?
YEAH. IT'S RIGHT THERE.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE NOT SERIOUSLY
SITTING THERE.
NO. IT'S A HOLOGRAM.
LIFELIKE, ISN'T IT?
MOM, WHY ARE YOU HERE?
I WANTED TO SEE
IF YOU'D SHOW UP.
I DID. I SEE.
MOM, YOU MADE THIS
APPOINTMENT FOR ME, NOT YOU. ME.
I DID. BUT I KNOW MILES, AND I
THOUGHT MY PRESENCE IN THERE...
UH-UH, IN WHERE?
IN THE MEETING.
OK. BYE.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
COME BACK HERE, LORELAI.
LORELAI, STOP. WILL
YOU STOP ALREADY?
I'M LEAVING, MOM.
WHY? BECAUSE I'M HERE?
THIS IS A BUSINESS MEETING.
I'M NOT GOING IN
THERE WITH MY MOMMY,
ESPECIALLY SINCE I
LEFT MY BLANKIE AT HOME.
YOU'RE STUBBORN
AND SHORTSIGHTED.
CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY
YOU LET YOUR SILLY PRIDE
KEEP YOU FROM FIXING YOUR HOME.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU
CAN'T STOP YOURSELF FROM BUTTING IN
WHERE YOU... WHERE
YOU DON'T BELONG.
I MADE THIS APPOINTMENT.
AGAINST MY WILL. YOU NEEDED IT.
I DIDN'T ASK FOR IT.
LORELAI, THIS MAN COULD
SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS.
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?
FINE. I'LL GO IN. YOU GO HOME.
I CAN'T GO HOME NOW. HIS ASSISTANT
KNOWS I'M HERE. IT WOULD BE RUDE.
OK. HERE'S THE DEAL.
WE WILL BOTH GO IN.
YOU WILL GO IN THAT ROOM,
BUT YOU WILL NOT SAY A WORD.
WHAT? BUT I COULDN'T POSSIBLY...
YOU'LL SAY HELLO. YOU'LL
ASK HOW HIS WIFE IS.
AND THAT'S IT. AFTER THAT,
YOU WILL SAY OR DO NOTHING.
YOU WILL SIT IN A CORNER, OFFER NO
OPINIONS, AND PULL A CLARENCE THOMAS.
AM I PERFECTLY CLEAR?
LORELAI...
IT'S THE ONLY
WAY I'M DOING THIS.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE QUIET.
I WILL. I PROMISE.
I SWEAR, ONE OF THESE DAYS,
"ALICE, POW! RIGHT TO THE MOON."
WHAT ON EARTH ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WHO'S ALICE?
OH, THERE YOU ARE. I
THOUGHT YOU WERE HERE.
I COME OUT, AND YOU WERE GONE.
OH, WELL, WE LEFT
SOMETHING IN THE CAR.
OH, SHE LEFT SOMETHING
IN THE CAR, NOT ME.
I NEVER DO THAT. THAT'S
IRRESPONSIBLE AND FORGETFUL.
2 THINGS WHICH I AM NOT.
MILES, THIS IS MY
DAUGHTER LORELAI.
HELLO. IT'S A THRILL
TO FINALLY MEET YOU.
SAME HERE. THANK YOU.
WOULD YOU TWO LIKE
SOME COFFEE? NO.
COFFEE WOULD BE
WONDERFUL, THANK YOU.
COMING RIGHT UP.
HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO
YOU NOT SAYING ANYTHING?
ACCEPTING COFFEE
IS BEING SOCIABLE.
I HAVEN'T ASKED
ABOUT HIS WIFE YET.
OK, COFFEE'S ON ITS WAY. WHY
DON'T WE GO ON IN AND SIT DOWN?
THAT WOULD BE LOVELY.
SO I UNDERSTAND THAT
RICHARD'S RETIRING.
YES. HE'S GOING TO
BE A MAN OF LEISURE.
WELL, HOW NICE. ANY BIG PLANS?
A ROUND-THE-WORLD
TRIP HAS BEEN DISCUSSED.
REALLY? ANY DATE SET?
NO, NOT YET.
JUST CHECKING.
AH, MARNIE, THANK YOU.
SO I GUESS WE SHOULD
PROBABLY GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.
LORELAI, YOUR MOTHER TELLS ME
YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE FINDING A LOAN.
YES, I AM.
UM, YOU KNOW, BEFORE WE
TALK ABOUT THIS, IT'S SO FUNNY,
MY MOM HAS JUST
BEEN DYING TO ASK YOU
HOW YOUR WIFE IS DOING.
RIGHT, MOM?
YES. HOW IS CHERYL?
WELL, SHE'S FINE.
OK, GOOD. NOW THAT WE GOT IT
OUT OF THE WAY, ABOUT MY SITUATION.
WELL, EMILY TELLS ME
THAT YOU HAVE TERMITES.
YES, WE DO, AND UNFORTUNATELY,
THEY HAVE DAMAGED THE
FOUNDATION OF MY HOUSE.
THAT COULD BE TERRIBLE.
REMEMBER WHEN YOU AND RICHARD HAD
THAT FOUNDATION PROBLEM
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO?
WELL, YOU HAD A FLOOD IN
YOUR BASEMENT, WASN'T THAT IT?
WELL, ACTUALLY...
YOU KNOW, MR. HAHN,
I APPRECIATE YOU TAKING THE
TIME TO MEET WITH ME TODAY
AND I KNOW THAT THE ONLY REASON
YOU DID IS BECAUSE OF MY MOTHER,
BUT SHE'S REALLY HERE TODAY
AS A KIND OF SILENT PARTICIPANT.
NOT EVEN ACTUALLY A
PARTICIPANT, JUST A SILENT.
UM, SO, I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU
WOULD TREAT ME JUST LIKE ANY OTHER PERSON
WHO'S WALKING IN OFF THE
STREET AND ASKING FOR A LOAN.
OH, WELL, OF COURSE, IF
THAT'S WHAT YOU'D LIKE.
IT IS. THANK YOU.
NOW, I'VE BROUGHT, UM,
ALL MY PREVIOUS LOAN DOCUMENTS,
AND ALSO MY BANK STATEMENTS,
NUMEROUS RECOMMENDATIONS,
INCLUDING A LETTER FROM MY EMPLOYER
WHICH SAYS SHE'S
NOT GOING TO FIRE ME
BEFORE YOU GET YOUR MONEY BACK.
HMM, YOU'VE TAKEN OUT 2
PREVIOUS LOANS ON THIS HOUSE?
UM, YES.
THIS IS THE ESTIMATED
WORTH OF THE HOUSE?
WELL, UH, YES.
THIS IS THE AMOUNT IN
YOUR SAVINGS ACCOUNT?
YES.
ANY OTHER ACCOUNTS
NOT LISTED HERE?
NO.
ANY OTHER COLLATERAL
NOT LISTED HERE?
NO.
WELL, MISS GILMORE, I'M SORRY.
I CAN'T HELP YOU.
UH, THAT'S IT? SO FAST?
YOU... YOU DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AT
THE LETTERS OF RECOMMENDATION.
I'M SURE YOU'RE A WELL-LIKED
PERSON, MS. GILMORE.
UNFORTUNATELY, BEING WELL-LIKED
IS NOT GROUNDS FOR A LOAN.
OH, BUT I AM GOOD FOR THE MONEY.
I, UH, PAY OFF ALL MY DEBTS,
AND I WORK REALLY HARD.
I'VE... I'VE BEEN THE
EXECUTIVE MANAGER
OF THE INDEPENDENCE
INN FOR 4 YEARS NOW.
MS. GILMORE, THIS IS NOT A
REFLECTION OF YOU AS A PERSON.
YOU SIMPLY DON'T HAVE
WHAT THE BANK REQUIRES
OF EVERY OTHER PERSON OFF
THE STREET TO QUALIFY FOR A LOAN.
THEREFORE, THERE'S
NOTHING I CAN DO.
WELL, NOW, JUST THINK ABOUT
THIS, BECAUSE I HAVE A KID
AND SHE'S GOTTEN AWFULLY
USED TO THE WHOLE CONCEPT
OF... OF HAVING A
ROOF OVER HER HEAD.
I'M SORRY.
I CAN'T LEAVE WITHOUT THIS LOAN.
I'M SORRY, BUT... NO, I MEAN IT.
I... I CAN'T LEAVE WITHOUT KNOWING
THERE'S A WAY TO SAVE MY HOUSE,
SO I'M JUST ASKING YOU TO TAKE 5
MINUTES AND THINK OF SOMETHING,
ANYTHING, THAT I CAN
DO TO GET THIS MONEY.
WELL, YOU COULD GET SOMEONE
TO CO-SIGN THE LOAN WITH YOU.
THAT'S IT? THAT'S
MY ONLY OPTION?
I'M AFRAID SO.
YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS, DIDN'T YOU?
MOM?
HMM?
WOULD YOU BE WILLING?
IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE.
WONDERFUL. I'LL HAVE THE
PAPERS DRAWN UP TODAY.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MORE COFFEE?
I WOULD LOVE SOME. THANK YOU.
WELL, I THINK THAT
WENT VERY WELL.
SO WHAT'S THE NEW ARRANGEMENT?
EXCUSE ME?
YOU PAID FOR CHILTON. I GAVE
YOU FRIDAY NIGHT DINNERS.
WHAT'S THIS, SUNDAY NIGHT TEA?
LORELAI, I DID THIS
FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
WEDNESDAY NIGHT BRIDGE CLUB?
LORELAI. MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL?
STOP IT!
WHAT, MOM? JUST PLEASE TELL
ME. WHAT... WHAT DO I OWE YOU?
YOU OWE ME NOTHING.
I JUST WANTED TO DO SOMETHING
NICE FOR MY DAUGHTER, THAT'S ALL.
IT'S ALREADY SHAPING UP
TO BE THE BEST SEASON EVER
DUE IN PART TO
THE RECENT ARRIVAL
OF OUR BRAND-NEW BASKETBALL
COACH, LOU McGILLIAN,
FORMALLY THE PRESIDING LEGAL
COUNSEL FOR THE CHICAGO BULLS.
LOU, COME ON UP
HERE. TAKE A BOW.
THOSE OTHER TEAMS
HAD BETTER WATCH OUT.
WE'VE GOT ONE OF THE BIG
BOYS ON OUR SIDE NOW, HUH?
SHAQ WHO? IN ADDITION
TO OUR NEW COACH,
WE'RE EXTREMELY PROUD
OF OUR BRAND NEW UNIFORMS
THOUGHTFULLY SUPPLIED BY YOU,
THE CITIZENS OF STARS HOLLOW,
AND CAREFULLY CLEANED BY THE
GOOD PEOPLE AT TRICKY'S DRY CLEANERS.
"IF IT'S STICKY, TRY TRICKY'S."
SO LET'S HEAR IT FOR TRICKY'S.
I'M TELLING YOU,
THEY ARE TERRIFIC.
RED AND WHITE, VERY DURABLE.
LITTLE STRIPES ON THE
SIDE. OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHY DON'T YOU JUST SEE
FOR YOURSELVES? COME ON.
SHOW THEM YOUR UNIFORMS.
MR. DOOSE, IT'S
FREEZIN' OUT HERE.
WHY DON'T YOU LET 'EM
SEE 'EM AT THE GAME?
YOUNG MAN, THE PEOPLE IN THIS TOWN
PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THOSE UNIFORMS.
NOW YOU SHOW THEM
WHAT THEY PAID FOR.
THIS IS CRAZY.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I
GIVE YOU THE NEW UNIFORMS
OF THE FABULOUS
FIGHTING MINUTEMEN!
LOOK AT THEM SHIVERING UP THERE.
THEY'RE SUCH WIMPS THESE DAYS.
WHEN I WAS ON THE TEAM, IT
WAS DIFFERENT. WE WERE ROWDY.
3 OF US WOULD HAVE
BEEN PANTSED BY NOW.
HEY.
OH, HEY.
I GOT YOUR NOTE.
YEAH, WELL, PINNING IT TO THE
MALLOMARS IS ALWAYS A SAFE BET.
COFFEE?
PLEASE.
SO, UM, GRANDMA AND I
WENT TO THE BANK TODAY.
HOW DID IT GO?
WE GOT THE LOAN.
GOOD. SO EVERYTHING'S OK.
YEAH, WELL.
WOW, NICE UNIFORMS.
I'M SORRY I TOLD
GRANDMA ABOUT IT.
OH, HON, LISTEN, THERE'S
GONNA BE A TIME IN OUR LIVES
WHERE OCCASIONALLY
I'M GONNA MAKE A MISTAKE.
IT HASN'T HAPPENED
YET, BUT IT MIGHT.
SURE.
I'VE EARNED THE RIGHT TO MAKE
THAT MISTAKE, AND THE RIGHT
TO FIX ANY PROBLEMS
WITHOUT INTERFERENCE.
I JUST THOUGHT THEY COULD HELP.
I DIDN'T WANT THEIR HELP. BUT...
RORY, HAVE YOU EVER
BEEN WITHOUT FOOD
OR CLOTHES OR BOOKS OR
BOOK COVERS, FOR THAT MATTER,
OR ANYTHING ELSE
YOU EVER NEEDED?
NO.
THE REASON FOR THAT IS ME.
I HAVE A GOOD TRACK RECORD
FOR KEEPING YOU ALIVE.
YEAH, YOU DO.
SO, WHEN I TELL YOU I CAN HANDLE
SOMETHING, YOU MUST RESPECT THAT.
ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU HAVE NO
EVIDENCE PROVING I WON'T. UNDERSTAND?
YEAH. I UNDERSTAND. I'M SORRY.
I OFFICIALLY DECLARE
THIS FIGHT OVER.
I'LL DRINK TO THAT.
STARS HOLLOW HIGH.
LET'S HEAR IT!
STARS HOLLOW HIGH!
IS THAT LANE?
STARS HOLLOW HIGH!
YEAH, THAT'S LANE.
HA.
STARS HOLLOW HIGH!
STARS HOLLOW HIGH!
ONCE MORE.
STARS HOLLOW HIGH!
ONE STEP BEYOND!
♪
ONE STEP BEYOND!
♪ WHEN SOME LOUD BRAGGART
STARTS TO PUT ME DOWN ♪
♪ AND SAYS HIS SCHOOL IS GREAT ♪
♪ I TELL HIM RIGHT AWAY ♪
♪ "WHAT'S THE MATTER, BUDDY? ♪
♪ AIN'T YOU HEARD
OF MY SCHOOL? ♪
♪ IT'S NUMBER
ONE IN THE STATE" ♪
HEY.
HI.
SO, THE MUSIC SELECTION,
YOURS, I ASSUME?
YEAH. THERE'S A BIT OF AN
EDUCATION PROCESS GOING ON.
I LIKED IT. VERY JOHN WATERS.
THANK YOU.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK
THAT YOU CAN'T TELL ME THINGS.
I DON'T WANT TO
NOT TELL YOU THINGS.
AND THIS WHOLE
CHEERLEADING THING...
I KNOW. IT'S WEIRD.
IT'S NOT WEIRD.
IF YOU WERE DOING IT PROFESSIONALLY,
IT WOULD BE WEIRD. BUT THIS?
IT LOOKED FUN.
IT WAS FUN.
AND, HEY, YOU GOT THEM
TO CHEER TO MADNESS
SO THERE MUST BE SOME
HOPE LEFT IN THE WORLD.
REST ASSURED THAT I REMAIN ME:
A NICO-OBSESSED, EXENE WANNABE
WITH 40 KOREAN
BIBLES UNDER HER BED.
I JUST BOUNCE A LITTLE MORE.
SO, CAN CHEERLEADERS GET COFFEE?
OH, YEAH. COFFEE'S A MUST.
YEAH?
IT KEEPS YOU PERKY.
♪ SO BE TRUE TO
YOUR SCHOOL NOW ♪
♪ JUST LIKE YOU WOULD
TO YOUR GIRL OR GUY ♪
♪ BE TRUE TO YOUR SCHOOL ♪
♪ AND LET YOUR COLORS FLY ♪
♪ BE TRUE TO YOUR SCHOOL ♪
SO MOM, THEY STARTED WORK
ON THE HOUSE YESTERDAY.
OH, GOOD.
YEAH, THESE GUYS COME
AT, LIKE, THE CRACK OF DAWN
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN
THERE'S ALL THIS
HAMMERING AND DRILLING
AND DUST FLYING EVERYWHERE.
IT'S PRETTY IMPRESSIVE ACTUALLY.
THEY'RE A NICE BUNCH, TOO.
AND... AND THE BEST PART IS, I'VE BEEN
OUT THERE 10 TIMES TO BRING THEM COFFEE
AND I HAVEN'T SEEN
A BUTT CRACK YET.
HOW NICE. THEY SHOULD PAINT THAT
SLOGAN ON THEIR TRUCK. EXCUSE ME.
WHERE YOU GOIN'?
TO GET SOME MORE BREAD.
I THINK I'LL GO HELP.
I THINK THAT WOULD BE GOOD.
MOM, I WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU.
FOR WHAT?
OH, FOR DOUBTING YOUR
MOTIVES IN THIS WHOLE LOAN THING.
I'M NOT USED TO PEOPLE DOIN'
THINGS WITHOUT STRINGS ATTACHED.
BY "PEOPLE" YOU MEAN ME.
I... I... I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD
HAVE DONE WITHOUT YOUR HELP. I MEAN IT.
I... I WAS OUT OF IDEAS, AND THEN
OUT OF THE BLUE, YOU MAKE THIS CALL
AND CO-SIGN THE LOAN WITH ME.
I'M REALLY, REALLY GRATEFUL.
WELL, THAT ALMOST
SOUNDED SINCERE.
YEAH. I SHOULD HAVE LEFT
OFF ONE OF THE "REALLY" s.
THAT ALWAYS TIPS IT.
ALL RIGHT. I ACCEPT
YOUR APOLOGY.
THANK YOU.
BY THE WAY, I'M GOING TO BE HAVING MY
D.A.R. MEETINGS AT THE INN FROM NOW ON.
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.
SHE'S GOOD.