Gilligan's Island (1964–1992): Season 2, Episode 6 - Quick Before It Sinks - full transcript

♪ just sit right back,
and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ a tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ that started
from this tropic port ♪

♪ aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ the mate was
a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ the skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ 5 passengers set sail that day
for a 3-hour tour ♪

♪ a 3-hour tour ♪

♪ the weather started
getting rough ♪

♪ the tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪



♪ the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ the ship set ground
on the shore of this ♪

♪ uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ with gilligan ♪

♪ the skipper, too ♪

♪ the millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ the movie star ♪

♪ the professor and Mary Ann ♪

♪ here on gilligan's isle ♪

Well, there you are,
gilligan. Ha ha!

How come you got up
so early?

Oh, I wanted to get
an early start,

catch something nice
for dinner,
something you like.

Ah. The early bird
catches the worm, eh?



You like worms?

Of course not.

I got a nice batch
of lobsters,
but if you like worms...

Gilligan, that's just
an expression,

a way of saying
something.

These are real beauties.
Real fat, see?

Yes, aren't they,
though? Well.

Aah! Aah!
Gilligan, get--

uhh! Uhh!

You can bite him back
tonight.

Thanks a lot,
gilligan.

I better get these
over to the girls.

Yes, gilligan.
Ooh...

Hello, professor.
Skipper.

Look at the nice lobster
that gilligan got for us
for dinner.

The condemned will eat
a hearty meal.

The condemned will eat
a hearty...

What do you mean?
Look.

It's just
a piece of wood.

It's a measuring stick.

I've been using it
to Mark the highest point

the water's reached
on the island.

And I've been keeping
a very careful check.

The stick is almost
underwater.

Exactly. And since there
haven't been any
freak tides or storms,

there's only one
possible conclusion.

Our island is sinking
into the ocean.

Oh, no.

I've got to talk
to you, Mr. Howell.
It's important.

Not as important
as this putt.
It's for a birdie.

But, Mr. Howell--

please, professor,
you're ruining
my concentration.

This is the final hole
of the howell
$100,000 open.

Now, if I sink
this putt,
I'll win it.

That's what I want
to talk to you about--
sinking.

Just--just watch the flag
when I putt and...

There you go.

Aah! Ho ho!
Drat it!

Drat it!
I missed it!

Well, that means
there'll be a playoff
with Mrs. Howell.

I believe in keeping
the money in
the family, my boy.

Now, what did you say
about sinking?

The island, Mr. Howell.
It's sinking into the ocean.

Oh, thank heavens!

For a minute
I thought I was losing
my putting touch.

I thought everything...

Sinking?!

Yes. Our island will soon
be covered with water.

Well, how am I going to
break the news
to Mrs. Howell?

Well, it's bad news,
indeed.

It certainly is.
She'll be furious.
No playoff?

The island is sinking,
Mr. Howell.

If the women know
the end is near,
they'll panic.

Mr. Howell,
we've got to be strong.

I'm sure gilligan
won't take this lying down.

Help! I'm drowning!

You're alright,
little buddy.
You're alright.

Now, you just fainted
and I revived you
with a little water.

Oh, I'm sorry,
skipper.

That's alright,
little buddy.

What are we gonna do?

The first thing we must do
is remain calm and cool.

You won't get hysterical,
will you?

Right.
And you won't panic.

Right.
And you won't be afraid.

Wrong.

2 out of 3's not bad,
skipper.

Well, professor,
have you come up with
anything yet?

I've been racking
my brains,

but I don't see
any way out.

I told gilligan
to meet us here.

I don't know
where he is.

Here I am, skipper.

Gilligan,
what are you doing?

This is no time
for games.

It's not a game, skipper.

When the water comes up,

we'll walk on stilts.

Gilligan,
that's ridiculous.

And when the water
gets higher,
we'll build higher stilts.

Professor, how high
do you have to go

before you get
a nosebleed?

Gilligan, you can get
a nosebleed right down here,

if you know what I mean.

What a stupid idea.

Wait a minute.
Maybe it's not so stupid.

See?

Gilligan's idea
is to stay higher
than the water.

And that's
our best solution.

You mean we're gonna
all be on stilts?

No, no, no, no.
We find the highest
ground on the island

and build a new hut.
That should keep us safe
as long as possible.

Good thinking, professor.

Well, gilligan
should get the credit.

And by the way,
you better get down
off there

before the women
see you
and get suspicious.

I'll help you, gilligan.

Oh, there you are.
I've been looking
for you everywh--

oh, gilligan, what
on earth are you doing
up on those stilts?

Stilts? What stilts?

Oh, these stilts.

Stilts? Uh--w-well,
I tell you, Mrs. Howell,

gilligan has found
a new way
to pick coconuts.

Haven't you, gilligan?

Oh, yeah.
It's a great way.

Gets me real close
to them.

Alright, gilligan.

Run along and start
picking some coconuts.

E-Easy, now.

Easy.
Careful, gilligan.

The ground is
soft over there.

Oh, yes.

Ohh...

Whoa!

Whoa!

Ooh--ooh--aah...

Hang on, gilligan!

Ohh...

Gilligan!

I got one.

Uhh...

Little buddy,
did you hurt yourself?

Seems like quite a lot
of work to go to
for one little coconut.

I'm okay, I guess.

Well, that's good,
because we need
every available man.

Every available man?

Yes. We want you men
to landscape

all the area
outside the huts.

The--uhh!
Now?

Immediately.

We girls are going
to beautify the place,

because we may
have to stay here
for a long, long time.

But we're not--
uhh--

not what?

Uh--uh--not, uh--

we're not against
the idea, Mrs. Howell.

I mean, that's the very idea
we were thinking of,

wasn't it, professor?

Absolutely.
Good.

Wasn't it, gilligan?
That's right.

That's just
what we were thinking.
Good boy.

You see, I didn't
tell her about the--

Boy, that's a big one,
professor.

Well, thank you, ginger.

But believe me,
the last thing

this island
needs right now

is a rock garden.

But you will
get me some more,

won't you, professor?

Well...just how many more

do you think
you're going to need?

Oh, I don't know.

About 20
or 30 or...

40.

I don't know.

Can't you go any faster?

I'm doing the best
that I can.

Well, you'll have to
do better, gilligan.

Remember, we've got to start
working that new hut

as soon as possible.

Well, when are we
gonna change positions?

I've been out in front
for over an hour.

We're doing alright.

You made up the schedule.

For the first hour,
you plow and I pull.

You're right.
Okay, we'll switch.

Now, I'll plow
and you pull.

That's better.

Thurston dear, wake up.

Thurston.

Oh, they're playing
our song.

Shall we go back to work?

Oh, of course, my dear.
Uh--uh--uh, clippers.

Clippers.

Scissors.

Scissors.

Buffer.

Buffer.

You almost through,
professor?

Almost.

But we need more
bamboo Poles.

Well, that's Mr. Howell's
detail.

Mr. Howell,
you just dropped
that bamboo pole

on your foot.

I know.

But you didn't yell.

I'm too tired.
I'll yell tomorrow.

Mr. Howell, try to get
some bigger Poles.

I don't know how we're gonna
build a hut at this rate.

Guess we haven't
any choice.

That's true.
We've got to build
the hut secretly,

and at night,
or tell the women
about the island sinking.

And we can't do that.

Gilligan, you've accidentally
tied yourself to the pole.

It wasn't
an accident, skipper.

It's the only way
I can keep from
falling down.

I doubt that.

Goodnight.

Come on, little buddy.

Goodnight, gilligan.

Goodnight.

Good morning!

Everybody up.
Time to go to work.

Oh, I love decorating.

I'm a born decorator,
you know.

When I saw the--

ohh...

Uhh.

How's that,
Mrs. Howell?

I like it right here.

Um...

No, I don't think
that's right.

No, uh, we'll try it
back there.

There.

That's good.

But not quite
good enough.

Uh, try it, uh,

try it in that spot.

See what I mean,
gilligan?

Women don't know
how to make up
their own minds.

I suppose you men
could do better?

We certainly could,
Mrs. Howell.

We could make up
our minds.

Be my guest, gentlemen.

We think it looks fine
right here.

Me, too.

On second thought,
skipper,

maybe it'd look better
up there.

Gilligan!

Ha ha.

See what you did,
you...

Skipper, can't we rest
for a minute?

Okay.

We've been going like this
for 48 hours

without any sleep.

Can't we just
shut our eyes
and get 40 winks?

No, gilligan.

Can't we shut one eye
and get 20 winks?

No, gilligan.
We've gotta finish
the job.

Now, come on.
Let's go.

Ohh...

I wonder where
Mr. Howell is.
He's late.

That sounds like him.
Is that you,
Mr. Howell?

I'm sorry.
I--i dozed off.

I threw on
the first thing
I could find

and I came right over.

I don't know whether
you know it or not,
Mr. Howell,

but I think you're wearing
your wife's bathrobe.

Oh, is that what it is?

I--i thought
my cashmere jammies
had unraveled.

It tickled my fancy.

Come on, Mr. Howell.
We've got to take
these palm fronds

and make a wall.

Forget it, men.

Forget it?

I just checked
the lagoon.

The water's
twice as high
as yesterday.

I wish I could teach
my stocks to do that.

Well, but, this is
the highest ground
on the island, professor.

We should be safe here.

The way
the water's rising,

there's no ground
high enough to save us.

We'll be underwater
in...5 days.

5 days?

Maybe 6.

Oh, thank goodness.

There's no use
stalling any longer.

We've got to tell
the women the truth.

They must know
the island
is sinking.

And the fact that
there's no hope
for survival.

Sounds like a meeting
of the optimists club.

Who's gonna tell them?

Well, as your skipper,

I know that there's
only one choice.

This unpleasant duty
has got to fall
on only one man.

Mr. Howell.

Me?! You're the skipper.

It's your duty.
But you're an executive.

You know how to handle
these matters
in a businesslike way.

Well, that's different
if you want to handle it
in a businesslike way.

Then you'll handle it?

Yes. I'll dictate a letter
and send it out
in triplicate.

Oh, Mr. Howell,
we haven't got time
for that.

Well, that lets me out.

I think I'll go down
to the lagoon

and see if my money belt
will float.

Professor, you always
have a solution
to everything.

What shall we do
about this?

The direct approach.

A straight line
is the shortest distance
between two points.

I guess it is.

I just saw ginger
go into her hut.

The thing to do
is to go right in
and tell her. Agreed?

Agreed.

Good.
Then you tell her.

Me?! But--

no buts, gilligan.

Go right in
and talk to ginger.

The direct approach.

Okay, little buddy?
Go ahead.

Yeah.

Ginger?

Oh. Hi, gilligan.

You're just in time.

What am I?

A girl.

No. I'm a tree.

I'm doing
an acting exercise,

and I'm imagining
that I'm a tree.

Oh, well,
seeing as you're busy,
I'll come back later.

Maybe next summer
when the leaves are out.

Why aren't you
out working
on the landscaping?

Oh, that's what
I came to tell you.
We've stopped working.

But you promised.

Well, the reason
we stopped working
is because...

Well, because...

We only have a few days
left on the island.

We have?!

Yeah.

W-Well,
that's wonderful!
It is?

Well, yeah.
That means you found
a way off.

Well, yeah, we'll be
kind of off the island,
alright.

Well, then we're saved!
We're rescued!

Oh, gilligan,
you made me so happy!

Mmm!

Hey, ginger.
What?

Oh, nothing.

Oh, boy!

Oh, I'm getting
off the island.
I can't believe it.

Oh, Hollywood,
here I come.
Ooh la la.

Professor.

I didn't think ginger
would take it so hard.

Look at gilligan.
It looks like she
punched him in the jaw.

What happened,
little buddy?

Oh, she kissed me.

She kissed you?

For telling her
that the island
is sinking?

Gilligan, you were
supposed to take
the direct approach.

I did. I tried to tell her
we're getting off the island,

and she got mixed up,
and she thinks
we're being...Rescued.

Rescued?

For goodness' sakes,
can't you ever be
firm and strong?

Well...

Eee!

Oh, skipper!

Isn't it
wonderful?

Tell me,
how do we get off
the island?

Now's your chance,
skipper.
Be firm and strong.

Professor?

What about
the professor?

W-Well, it's just that,
um...

The professor has got
his transmitter fixed,
haven't you?

Ohh!

Why, yes, yes.

Now, uh...

Now we can
contact someone.

You mean
we're in contact
with the outside world?

Oh, that's wonderful.
Wait till I tell
the girls about it.

They'll be so happy.
Ohh! Mmm!

Mmm!

Firm and strong.

Yes.
Firm and strong.

Professor,
this should really pass
for a transmitter.

We ought to be able
to get by with it.

Hey, it looks
real good,
professor.

I bet the girls
don't catch on.

As long as they don't
examine it too closely.

They'll be along here
any minute now.

How does it work?

Well, first, gilligan,
you get under the table.

I what?

You get under
the table,

and you sound like
a radio announcer.

But I don't know how
to sound like an announcer.

Oh, certainly you can.

Ready or not,
here we come!

There's Mr. Howell's
signal.

But I don't know
what to say.

Gilligan, just speak
when you're spoken to,

and try and use
a different voice.

I can't. This is
the only voice I have.

Get under there,
will you?

Disguise your voice.

Oh, isn't this exciting?

We'll make headlines
in every paper.

Thurston, it looks
awfully primitive.

I do hope you haven't
invested in it.

No. I have
every confidence here
in the professor.

Where's gilligan?

Oh, he's around.

Give it a test,
professor.

What kind of voice
should I use?

Hello. Hello.

It must be static.

'Ello.

Aha.
We've made contact.

He sounds French.
Oh!

He is. He's a French
radio announcer.

Oh! I hope
he can speak English.

Hello? Hello.
This is Mary Ann.

'Ello.

This is Gill--

Gilbert leblanche.

He comes in so clear,
as though he were close by.

Closer
than you think.

We'll find out
where he is.

Uh, tell me,
what is your position?

My position?

I am sitting down,

my legs are crossed,

and it is very
uncomfortable.

I--i guess he's
in one of those
cramped quarters,

you know,
like a little
ham radio shack?

Hello.
I'm an actress.

Can you tell me
what's happening
in Hollywood?

I mean, any gossip?

Hollywood gossip?

Yeah. I haven't seen
a newspaper in ages.

Ah, oui.

The big gossip is, uh,

what well-known
Hollywood star

was seen at a nightclub
with a well-known actress?

Oh, thank you.

I just love
inside information.

There's something
we must find out
before we're rescued.

This is
Mrs. Thurston howell III.

From Newport, New York,
palm beach,

and, of course,
Paris, mon chere.

Um, I want to ask you

about the new
French fashions.

I don't know what to wear
when we're rescued.

Why don't you wear
your blue dress?

My blue dress.
Oh, that's perfect!

How does he know
I have a blue dress?

Thurston, there's
something very peculiar
going on here.

Ow! Ooh!

Gilligan.

Uh-oh. Heh heh.

It is sinking.

Well, I wish
I'd learned to swim.

I know...Survival.
I never would have--

And that's why
we didn't tell you.

Yes. We thought
you were gonna panic

if you knew
that the island
was going underwater.

It's my duty
to protect you.

After all,
I'm the strong,
stalwart male,

and you're the frail,
helpless female.

Yes, you big,
strong man, you.

Now, girls,
time is getting short.

We must get organized.
How are we going to
stay afloat?

Why don't we
build an ark
like Noah did?

Why, that's
a wonderful idea.

We'll take the raft
the men started to build
a couple months ago

and we'll put
a new hut on it.

Excellent!
Now, we must get going.

We have a million things
to do.

Now, why didn't we
think of that?

Lovey's so determined.

Now, when I pull
on these vines,

it will cause the ark
to rock up and down.

Oh.

We want to see if the ark's
gonna be safe in a rough sea.

What are you doing
with a life jacket on already?

Yes. The water won't be
up here for 3 days.

No sense in waiting
till the last minute.

All set, gilligan?

All set, skipper!

Ohhh!

Are you alright,
little buddy?

Say something.

Skipper, I don't know
if I'm ready
for this test.

I'm barely recovered
from the other one.

Don't worry, gilligan.

All the furniture
is secured to the floor.

It won't slide.

Alright, professor,
we're ready for
the eating test!

Let her rock!

It's just a matter
of timing, gilligan.

Skipper, maybe we should
nail the food
to the table, huh?

I wish I could catch mine.
I'm working up
quite an appetite.

When it goes by again,
I'll make a stab at it.

Uhh!

Ohh!

Aah...

Sorry.

Gilligan...

Maybe we'll do better
at the drinking.

I'll get
the coconut milk.

Do that.

Hang on
to the table, gilligan.
That's right.

Alright.
Say when. Ready?

When, gilligan.

And now, gilligan,

this will be
the most important
of our tests,

being as we're
in our hammocks so much.

Yeah. We'll be too weak
from the lack of food
to stand up.

Okay, professor!

How are you doing,
gilligan?

Okay, skipper.

Hold on, little buddy.

I think the professor's
gonna rock us faster.

These hammocks
work fine.

Ha ha ha ha!

Yes, gilligan.

I think
we're going to make it.

Uh-huh, skipper.

From here on in,
it looks like
smooth sailing.

Skipper! Gilligan!
Are you alright?

Smooth sailing.

Well, that does it.

Professor, it looks like
the captain's going down
with his island.

Well, at least we have
some real nice
fat lobsters for dinner.

Gilligan,
where did you get
that stick?

That old stick? I use it
to keep my lobster traps
from floating away.

"That old stick"?

Well, it just happens to be
the measuring stick
I've been using

to Mark how high
the water's been coming up
on the island.

And I've been
putting it out
in deeper water

to catch bigger lobsters.

Well, that explains
everything.

The island
isn't sinking at all.

Gilligan,
look at that mess.

And it's all
your fault.

Oh, well, skipper,
it won't take very long

when all three of us
pitch in to clean it up.

All three of us?

All three of us?

Yeah.

Me, myself, and I.

Exactly.

♪ they're here
for a long, long time ♪

♪ they'll have to make
the best of things ♪

♪ it's an uphill climb ♪

♪ the first mate
and his skipper, too ♪

♪ will do their very best ♪

♪ to make the others
comfortable ♪

♪ in their tropic island nest ♪

♪ no phone ♪
♪ no light ♪

♪ no motor cars,
not a single luxury ♪

♪ like Robinson crusoe ♪

♪ it's primitive as can be ♪

♪ so join us here
each week, my friends ♪

♪ you're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ from 7 stranded castaways ♪

♪ here on gilligan's isle ♪