Gilligan's Island (1964–1992): Season 2, Episode 25 - Operation: Steam Heat - full transcript

♪ just sit right back,
and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ a tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ that started
from this tropic port ♪

♪ aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ the mate was
a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ the skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ 5 passengers set sail that day
for a 3-hour tour ♪

♪ a 3-hour tour ♪

♪ the weather started
getting rough ♪

♪ the tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪



♪ the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ the ship set ground
on the shore of this ♪

♪ uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ with gilligan ♪

♪ the skipper, too ♪

♪ the millionaire ♪

♪ and his wife ♪

♪ the movie star ♪

♪ the professor and Mary Ann ♪

♪ here on gilligan's isle ♪

Gilligan, where's
the hot water?

Water boy,
where are you hiding?

Gilligan,
I need hot water!

I'm coming,
I'm coming.



Gilligan, gilligan,
can't you hear everyone

yelling for hot water?

I can hear them
if I was in Hawaii.

Very funny. Besides,
what were you doing
up in the jungle?

I got tired of
going to the lagoon
for water

and bringing it
back to camp

and boiling it
to make hot water.

Well, where else
are you gonna get
hot water?

Out of a hole
in the ground?

How'd you know?

Well, I just figured
that you--

how do I know what?
That I get hot water

out of a hole
in the ground.

Well, where is it,
gilligan?

Oh, is it here?

It's around here
someplace.

Well, I don't
seem to be able
to find it.

Is it over here?

Oh, I know,
skipper.

You found it!

Gilligan, look!
Gilligan, look!

Hey, professor!
Professor!

Boy, wait till
the others hear
about this.

What's going on?

Hot water!
Ha ha ha ha!

Of course, that means
there's underground
thermal activity.

Well, I know what
it means to you.

It means to me
I don't have to boil
any more water.

Oh, boy!
Hot showers,
a hot bath!

Of course,
it could also mean
an active volcano.

"Volcanoes in
the south pacific islands
follow a pattern.

"There is a noticeable rise
in the temperature
of the earth's crust,

"followed by
a rumbling sound,

"a blinding flash
of light,

"and then a severe
earth tremor.

Total destruction
can be expected
when these things occur."

Professor!
Hey, professor!

Hi, professor.

Oh, hi, gilligan.

Maybe you could help me
solve a problem.

How do I get
the hot water to camp

without carrying it?

Well, that's
very simple.

Just use some
bamboo rods
to make a pipeline.

Oh, thanks,
professor.

Talking to you is like
looking up the answers

in the back of a book.

You going someplace?

As a matter of fact,
I'm going

to the other side
of the island.

What for?

Oh, I just want
to look around.

There's a very rare
species of something

over there
I'd like to examine.

Well, why go
all the way over there?

Maybe it'll
come over here.

Well, that's
what I'm afraid of.

I mean,
I'd rather not wait
until it gets here.

Mmm. Hey,
what's this?

That's
a thermometer.

How big is that thing
you're gonna examine?

Could be enormous.

Well, how are you
gonna get close enough
to take its temperature?

I intend to approach it
very cautiously.

Oh, well,
you better take this.

What for?

Make it stick out
its tongue
to say "ahh."

Heh, oney.

Twosies.

Wish I had a Porter.

Thurston, after all,
gilligan found
the hot water.

Therefore
he owns it.

Yes, my dear,
I know he found it.

I know he owns it.

But I intend to
merge his hot water
company

with my cattle
company.

Well, what will that
give you?

Boiled beef.

Oh, lovey, my dear,
I did make a funny!

Ah, my dear, this
is just the thing.
There you are.

Thurston,
that's money.

Don't you see,
darling?

I intend
to have gilligan

pipe his hot water
into this trunk,

and that way,
we'll always be able
to have a hot bath.

But thurston,
what's more important
than money--

did you say a hot bath?

Exactly.

Faster, thurston,
faster.

Dishwashing with
running hot water.

You know
what that means?

No more
broken nails.

Oh, no more
chapped hands.

As Davy Crockett
said

when he shot
the last Indian,

"no more red skin."

There will be
a noticeable rise

in the temperature
of the earth's crust.

Gilligan, my boy,
pipe that hot water

immediately
into the howell hut.

Now just a minute,
Mr. Howell,

let's be fair
about this.

Fair?
Ooh, how vulgar.

Just tap the water
right over there,
gilligan.

Mary Ann
has the dishes
ready and waiting.

Oh, gilligan,
now, come on.

Little buddy,
you know how happy

a hot shower makes me,
and when I'm happy,

I don't yell
at anybody, do I?

Just a minute,
skipper,
that's coercion.

And coercion
is sneaky
and underhanded,

to be used
only by a howell.

We need the hot water
for the dishes, gilligan.

Well, I say a shower
is more important.

Pipe that water
to the howell hut!

Wait a minute,
wait a minute,
wait a minute.

What if I told you
everybody can get
hot water.

What would you say
to that?

Out of one
small little hole
in the ground?

Just leave
everything to me.

Well, I don't know
about that--

it isn't we don't
trust you, gilligan.

You see, it's just
that leaving you

in charge
of a construction job

is like
leaving a lit match
in charge of dynamite.

Skipper, get ready for your
hot shower. Mr. Howell,
get ready for your hot bath,

and ginger, tell
Mary Ann the hot water
is on the way.

Are you sure you
know what you're
doing, gilligan?

Uh-huh. This time,
nobody's gonna be
able to say,

"gilligan,
you did it again."

Ooh, I'm gonna--hmm.

Everybody ready?

Ready.

All set, gilligan.

Let her pour.

The little tide
should be coming in

any minute now,
little boat.

Hot water,
here we come.

96...97...

98...

99 leaks.

Oh, could
have been worse.

It could have been
100.

100.

101.

Gilligan, my boy,

did you, uh,
happen to drop that?

These are $100 bills.

100s? Oh, uh,
perhaps you
dropped those?

These are $1,000 bills.

You should be
more careful

about dropping money

out of your pocket,
my boy.

Yes, Mr. Howell.

What do I got
in my pocket?

Let's see, uh...

2 marbles, 7 cents,
and my lucky charm.

A lucky charm?

According to
the rest
of that stuff,

you're on
a losing streak.

This must belong
to you, Mr. Howell.

Well, perhaps
it does,

but it could
find its way
into your pocket

if you would
Grant me just
one small favor.

I'll do you a favor
for nothing.

Nothing? Nothing.

Would you pipe
that hot water
into my hut

for my own
private hot bath?

It wouldn't be fair.

Fair! Oh, there goes
that word again!

Gilligan,
I'll let you
use my tub

every other
Saturday night,

including
the sailboat.

Mr. Howell, the skipper
wants to take a shower

and the girls need it
for the dishes.

Well, they want it
as much as this, hmm?

Beautiful sound,
isn't it?

Hee hee hee.
Smell it, my boy.

Here, taste it.

Uh, don't bite it.

I'm sorry, Mr. Howell.

Unless I can
figure out a way

to make everybody
share it, nobody gets it.

Well, there
goes the end

of a beautiful
friendship.

What was that?

J.p. Morgan
turning over
in his grave.

What are you doing?

Thinking.

What are you
thinking about?

The hot water.

Can we help you think?

Oh, that
won't help.

How about this?

That'll just
mix me up.

Gilligan, honey.

Oh, gilligan,
dear.
Skipper!

If the temperature
of the earth's crust

rises 8 degrees,

a blinding
flash of light
could be expected.

Gilligan,
the hugging
and the kissing

is just to show
how much
we love you.

Why, there's no one
in the world

that I love as much
as I love you.

Is that the truth?

If I'm not
telling the truth,

may lightning
strike.

Ahoy there,
little buddy.

Hi, skipper.
I'm sure glad
it's you.

Well, and
I'm glad it's you.

I mean, uh,
that is, the fact
that we're alone,

now we can have
a buddy to buddy talk,

right, little buddy?
Right.

And you won't
try to trick me,

'cause you're
my best friend.

If you can't trust
your best friend
to play fair,

you can't trust
anybody.

We--well, exactly.

I mean,
you can trust me.

Sure.

You see what I mean?

Care to take in
my laundry
when it's dry?

Skipper, you're going
swimming in the lagoon?

Well, I guess
I'll have to,
gilligan,

since I don't
have a shower.

Oh.

Skipper, you want to take
a nice, hot shower?

Yes!

Think warm.

The volcano will signal
the eruption to come

by an earth tremor.

Then the entire area
will shake violently
within 5 seconds.

Hey, quiet, quiet!

No hot bath,
no hot water
for your dishes,

and no hot shower.
Some friends.

Sometimes I just
wish the earth

would just open up
and swallow us up.

Uh, skipper,
that never
happened before.

Well, I hope it
never happens again.

I know something
else that never
happened before--

it never snowed.
Oh, gilligan,

it doesn't snow on
a tropical island.

Yeah, look.

I wonder if we're on
the Christmas Island.

I'm trying to make
some snowballs,
but it won't pack.

It isn't snow,
gilligan.

It's volcanic ash.

There's an active
volcano on the island.

You mean the kind
that goes rumble,
rumble, varoom?

Where hot lava
comes boiling down?

And the island
explodes?

And sinks
into the ocean?

Ooh, sounds
perfectly dreadful.

Looks even worse.

Hey, professor,
great news.
They stopped.

Who has stopped,
gilligan?

The spouts have
stopped spouting.

And the volcano
has stopped volcanoing.

Erupting.
That, too.

Unfortunately,
it simply means

that the gases
are gathering force

and could explode
at any moment.

Well,
that's terrible.

However, there is
a way to neutralize
the volcano,

by countering
its energy force

with an equal
energy force.

Oh, that's terrible.

No, that's good.

Sounds terrible.

In layman's terms,

if I could explode
a bomb in a tunnel

near the base
of the volcano,

its force would
blow it out

the same way
you'd blow out
this candle.

But, professor, where are you
gonna get a bomb that big?

From materials
right here on the island.

As a matter of fact,
I'm making a crude form
of Nitroglycerin

powerful enough to blow off
that entire mountaintop.

You're making
Nitroglycerin?

Why, yes. Sulfuric acid
from the crystallized
copper in the caves,

glycerol from papaya seeds,

and potassium nitrate
from the rocks
at the lagoon.

You hear that?
He's making
Nitroglycerin.

Any questions?
Yeah, I have
a question.

Good, gilligan.
What's your question?

What's
Nitroglycerin?

Gilligan, will
you keep quiet?

Better still,
gilligan,

will you get me
a piece of vine

that I can use
as a fuse?

Uh, about
7 inches long.

Yeah.

Dry, but
not brittle.
Mm-hmm.

Uh, pliable,
but not soft.

You can
count on me.

And, skipper,
I'll need a clock

I can use as
a timing device.

We'll be back
in no time,
professor.

Good, since we have
practically no time left.

Aaah! Let's go,
gilligan!

Ah, that's
too brittle.

I think that's too wet.

Hmm.

No, that's too dry.

You're not going
to eat that stuff,
are you?

Of course not.
The professor's
making a fuse

for a bomb.
He's gonna blow
the volcano.

Well, that's not
the way to blow up
a volcano.

I was
in a movie once,

and that's not what
the natives did.

What did they do?
Well, they took

the handsomest man
in the tribe

and the most
beautiful woman--

I bet you played
the woman.

Oh, gilligan,
sometimes you have

a keen,
analytical mind.

Thanks.

Anyway, they made
a big banquet
for us,

and they put
beautiful flowers
in our hair

and lovely bells
around our ankles,

and the drums
roared

and the children
cried.

And I thought
you said

you weren't going
to eat that stuff.

I always eat popcorn
at the movies.

Needs butter.

We walked bravely
up the mountain,

and right
to the volcano,

and we threw
ourselves into it.

Into the volcano?

You can get killed
that way.

That was
the whole point
of it.

The volcano's appetite
was appeased
by the sacrifice,

and it never exploded.

Anyway, that's the way
we did it in the movie.

Oh, I don't know.

You could save
everybody else,
but you could end up--

ginger. Oh, no.

Ginger, help!

I got it
from the howells,
professor.

He sold it to me.

Are they
at the lagoon?

Well, he is,
but she can't
make up her mind

which diamond
to wear
for an explosion.

Almost finished.

Oh, be careful, huh?

Yes, it's highly volatile.

The slightest move
could set it off.

Oh, well,
be real careful.

Where is gilligan?
I need that fuse.

Well, I'll find him,
professor.

One part nitric acid...

And 2 parts glycerol.

You want something done,
you've gotta do it yourself.

Professor, ginger's
gonna throw herself
in the volcano.

Huh? Oh.

Oh, boy.

Gilligan,
where have you--
gilligan, stop!

I'm sorry, skipper,

but I ran all the way
and I was thirsty.

But you don't
understand.

You wouldn't
like it anyway.
It tastes awful.

Oh, I'll bet it did.

Powerful enough to blow up
the entire mountaintop.

Gilligan,
I don't want you
to get alarmed

or get nervous,
but you just drank
the Nitroglycerin.

I what?

The slightest move
can set it off.

Gilligan, no!
D-Don't shake.

But I can't help it.

Skipper, my knees
are knocking.

Stop it!

Gilligan,
don't you realize
that if you move,

half the island
will blow up.

I don't care
about the island.

I'm worried about me.

But, gilligan, if
the island blows up,

you'll be
leading the way.

Skipper, do something.

Alright,
little buddy,

let me
take you outside

and find you
a nice, quiet place
to...Blow up.

Please move slowly.

Slowly, gilligan--
oop!

Dust, dust!

That's gonna
make me sneeze.

Aaaah! Don't sneeze.

Aah, aah...

Aah-choo!

Sit down. Easy, now.
Easy, gilligan.

Skipper, you better
go down to the lagoon.

Little buddy,
I am sticking
right here with you.

You better go because
now it's my turn to--

aah-choo!

Still here.

Gilligan, please,
now sit quietly.

Don't move a muscle.

I'm going down and
get the professor.

Better hurry.

Don't move a muscle,
gilligan.

Now let's see,

there's my
cosmetic case,

and my Jewel case
and my pill case
and--

oh, uh, gilligan?

I can't move.

Oh, you poor boy.
Where does it hurt?

Uhh! I don't feel
a thing.

You don't
feel a thing?

Mrs. Howell,
I might blow up!

Oh, don't you dare
get angry with me.

I mean blow up for real.
I drank some--

oh, that's why you
don't feel a thing.

You've been dipping
into Mr. Howell's
private stock.

Demon rum is
your worst enemy.

No, I didn't drink rum,
I drank Nitroglycerin.

Oh, mixed drinks
are even worse.

Gilligan, hurry up!

The volcano's
about to explode.

So am I,
and I can't move.

My gosh,
that's terrible.

Quick, run down
to the lagoon.

Why, I'm not gonna
go without you--

aaaah!

See if I can find
out what's wrong.

I know what's wrong,
I can't move.

Well, maybe
it's a reflex thing.

Cross your legs.

I'm afraid to.

Oh, gilligan--
oh, Mary Ann.

Gilligan.
Mary Ann!

Now, when
I hit you--

oh!

Maybe I should
hit you harder.

No. If you hit me
any harder,

you'll turn me
into a Jigsaw puzzle.

What?

You see, I drank
this Nitroglycerin.

Any minute,
I could explode.

Explode?

Yeah. Boom!

Oh, gosh. I better
go get the professor.

Uh, skipper went
to get him, too.

Oh, oh,
you just sit here,

and you try not
to think about it.

Oh, because if
you think about it,

you're liable
to get all upset.

And if you get
all upset,

you're liable
to go to pieces.

Oh, I mean--
never mind.

Go get the professor.
I have a terrible itch,

and if I scratch it--

oh, no! No, no, no!

Oh, don't scratch!

Come on, professor,
hurry up, please!

Will you tell me
what this is all about?

I drank the Nitroglycerin
that was in the coconut cup.

You what?

I tried to stop him,
but it was too late,
professor.

What did it
taste like?

Mmm, needed
a little salt.

It's too watery.

Well, it was water,
gilligan.

I was using the water
in that cup

to dilute the other
ingredients.

Then I'm not
gonna blow up?

Gilligan, I oughta
blow you up personally.

Of all the stupid things
that I've ever heard--

we haven't got time
for a talk.

We've got to
bomb that volcano.

Gilligan, get down
to the lagoon.

Tell the others
to get down there,
too.

Ginger, Mary Ann,
the howells--

ginger.
Oh, my gosh, ginger.

She's gonna throw herself
in the volcano.

Throw herself
in the volcano?

She does it all the time.
It's an old native custom.

You see, they get
the handsomest man

and the most
beautiful girl--

ginger plays
the part of the girl--

and they put flowers
in their hair,

and bells on their toes,
and the drums--

gilligan,
never mind that.

Get down
to the lagoon!
Yeah.

Skipper, we've got
to get that clock
in the bomb.

According to
my calculations,

we've only got
a few minutes left.

Well, we'd better
hurry! Ooh!

Ginger! Ginger! Hi.

Hi.

Oh, you didn't throw
yourself in the volcano.
Of course not!

I've got something real
important to tell you.

What?
What?

Oh! The professor's gonna
blow up the volcano.

Oh, my goodness!
We better get back
to the lagoon!

Yeah, lagoon. Yeah.

Ginger?

Ginger!

Ohh!

Where are we?

I don't know, but that
first step is a doozy.

One thing's for sure--

we can't get out
the way we got in.

Thanks.

This is not
a good place.

You can let go
of my hand now,
gilligan.

You can let go
of my hand now,
gilligan.

Hey, there's tunnels.
Maybe they lead out of here.

I'll go this way
and you go that way.

Yeah.

Don't be scared,
ginger.

Don't be afraid, ginger.

Ginger, just be
brave like me, okay?

Okay.
Aaaaaah!

Your tunnel goes
around in a circle.

What's that?
It's the volcano.

Sounds like it's
going to explode.

Yeah. I think
this is the cave

where the professor's
gonna throw the bomb.

The bomb?!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Professor,
for goodness sakes--

I asked you to be
careful, skipper.

Oh, I wish you'd
given us more time.

Well, there's
plenty of time.

The pit's
right back there.

Are you ready?

Alright,
professor.

Do you want to know
what time it is?

Gilligan, that's
not important.

It's 8 to zero.

8 what?

I don't know.
Here. See?

Gilligan, I think
that's the bomb
the professor built.

Are you sure?

Take a closer look.
That's it!

Oh, yes.
Here, you take it.

No, you take it.
No, you take it.

I thought
I heard gilligan.

Oh, don't be silly.
He went to the lagoon.

No, you take it.
You saw it first.

Now it's 7 to zero.

Professor, I'm sure
that was gilligan.

Skipper, that bomb
is going to go off!

Get rid of it!

Bye, bomb.

Aaah! Aaah!
How'd that happen?

Well,
get rid of it!

W-w-w-where?
In the pit!

And this time,
don't throw it,
drop it!

Drop it!

Ooh! Skipper!
Aaah! Aaah!

Skipper, what are you
doing down here?

And why did you
bring that thing?

Aaaah! The bomb!

B-b-b--don't just
stand there, gilligan,

do something with it.
Aaah--

first one
to drop it is out.

First one who drops it,
we all get out
the hard way.

Where's
the professor?

He's up top side.

Professor!

Grab the vine!

Oh, professor!
Professor, help!

Come on, ginger,
get going.

Up, up.

Oh, oh.

Get the vine!

Alright, gilligan,
you're next.

No, skipper,
you go first.

Don't argue,
gilligan.

The skipper
always goes up
with his volcano.

No, skipper,
you go first.
I insist.

Gilligan, you are
going up there now!

Besides, it'll take
the 3 of you to get
me out of here.

Now come on, up!

Alright, pull!

Move...it...gi--

pull, pull!

Alright, skipper.

Hold on!

Alright, pull!

Let's get
out of here!

Gilligan!

What?
That!

Get it off of him!

Did anybody else
get killed besides me?

Gilligan, you're
very much alive.

We all are.

I guess we're gonna
stay that way. Look.

Gilligan, hot water.

Water boy,
where are you hiding?

I'm coming,
I'm coming.

Gilligan,
hot water for the dishes.

Where are you hiding?

Look, I said
I was coming--

aaaaaah!

♪ they're here
for a long, long time ♪

♪ they'll have to make
the best of things ♪

♪ it's an uphill climb ♪

♪ the first mate
and his skipper, too ♪

♪ will do their very best ♪

♪ to make the others
comfortable ♪

♪ in the tropic island nest ♪

no phone...
No lights...

♪ no motorcars,
not a single luxury ♪

♪ like Robinson crusoe ♪

♪ it's primitive
as can be ♪

♪ so join us here
each week, my friends ♪

♪ you're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ from 7 stranded castaways ♪

♪ here on gilligan's isle ♪